not sure if it was the heat (upper 80s, dewpoints 70+) or what but what a ####show at the soccer game last night.
we usually have a ref. typically a 14-16 year old boy or girl. didn't have one last night. usually they blow the whistle a few times per game. make sure goal kicks and free kicks are setup (which consists of blowing the whistle, gathering the ball and setting it on the ground). determine throw ins and corners.
because the ref is hired by the league, the ref gives a game report back to the league. that seems to be the cap on parent behavior that people need.
no ref last night = parents going absolutely freaking berserk for 45 minutes.
holy ####. i've never heard so much screaming and complaining. these are SIX AND SEVEN YEAR OLD boys & girls. you'd have thought it was a prize fight with the crowd being split between two groups of people in a blood feud.
since we didn't have a ref & the other coach was a woman in flip flops who..... was not in shape... i volunteered to "ref". before long three parents gathered on the sidelines next to her to "help". which meant screaming at their kids because they felt like they were assistants last night.
at some point, middle of the 1st quarter a kid form the other team went down while action went the other way. i paused to check on him.. he was just tying his shoes.. play on. in the meantime one of my kids, who doesn't listen at all (who tries to sneak on the field during the run of play CONSTANTLY) scored a goal. yay team!
some fat #### on the sideline starts SCREAMING "THAT'S NOT A GOAL! THAT'S NOT FAIR! HE WAS OFFSIDES! YOUR TEAM IS CHEATING! YOU'RE CHEATING! YOU TAUGHT YOUR KIDS TO CHEAT! THAT'S NOT FAIR! WE'RE NOT COUNTING THAT GOAL! THAT'S NOT A GOAL!!!" while turning purple in the face, screaming at my kids who were celebrating like mad.... because they're 6 & 7.
i'm totally bewildered so i walk over and say "what??" to which he responds (screaming) "THAT KID WAS OFFSIDES! HE'S CHEATING! HE WAS WAY OFFSIDES THE WHOLE TIME! YOU TOLD YOUR KIDS TO CHEAT!!!!"
to which i responded "dafuq?"
to which he responded "HE TOLD ME YOU TOLD HIM TO STAND THERE AND WAIT FOR THE BALL SO HE COULD SCORE! THAT'S CHEATING! YOU'RE CHEATING!"
trying to set a good example by not throat punching the fat ####, i say "i didn't tell him any such thing. we can disallow the goal. nobody is keeping score anyways. the kids don't know the difference."
he gave me an eye roll and yelled "YOU'RE CHEATING! WE'RE NOT COUNTING THAT GOAL, GUYS! WE'RE NOT GOING TO LOSE BECAUSE THEY CHEAT!"
jesus ####### christ, ace. your special little sunflower won't remember this game come snack time in 20 minutes. unless you bet the mortgage on the outcome tonight, i think you'd better slow down before you choke on your own tongue.
the whole night was that way. parents calling out the smallest infractions as though someone was committing murder.
we had a situation where their goalie made a really nice stop, picked up the ball and immediately 15 people were screaming for him to do something different. he was waffling between running, throwing and kicking the ball so quickly that it looked like a computer animation glitching. after a solid 30 seconds he finally settled on putting the ball down in the goalie box, then ran up to boot it.... directly in to one of my kids who reflexively put his arms up to protect his face. the ball deflected off my kid, i immediately called a hand ball and a free kick... which set off a chorus of cries that my kids were cheating, that i was teaching them to hit the ball with their hands, etc. etc.
it was unbelievable
because we had no whistles & i wasn't keeping time (no watch) we had a parent call out the quarter breaks. at halftime he yelled "HALF! BREAK!" but over the din of the other screaming parents and the kids adrenaline pumping they didn't hear it. so play continued on as i kept repeating "break! break! that's half! but that was apparently drowned out by the parents screaming, and i mean, screaming, that my team was cheating by trying to prevent the ball from going in our goal... even though it was halftime.
it was like listening to 20 drill instructors scream at Marines on day 1, simultaneously.
finally one of my girls just full on dove on top of the ball, got kicked, and the action stopped while the other teams parents screamed "HAND BALL!! THAT'S NOT FAIR!!"
jesus. i'm going to line up all the parents next week and punch every one of them in their face.