Deadly Animal Draft (1 Viewer)

[randall146]

Pffft... the fossa would tear a moose to shreds

Fossa: Reeeeeoaw in leaping frenzy, tears moose to shreds in about 8 seconds

Dead Moose: Wha' happen'?

Does the dead moose in this hypo talk like Fred Willard?

 

[Mr.Squidward]

horrible mistake bagger.  commish- i would consider giving some leeway considering the high quality humor that bagger has offered to this thread.

Remember the story of Damon & Pythias? Would you like to be Sandbagger's Damon?

I don't know damon or pythias. but it sounds bad so my answer is no I do not want to be either. fire away commish, punish the *******!

Too bad, a little loyalty and you would both have been saved. Now you will both be punished.Story of Damon & Pythias

but commish- i was being loyal. i was being loyal to my team.

 

[JZilla]

Pffft... the fossa would tear a moose to shreds

Fossa: Reeeeeoaw in leaping frenzy, tears moose to shreds in about 8 seconds

Dead Moose: Wha' happen'?

Does the dead moose in this hypo talk like Fred Willard?

Yes, I brought Fred Willard in to play the dead moose.

 

[Courtjester]

Is Tlef on the clock then???

 

[cosjobs]

For punishment for the out of turn pick, Sandbagger is hereby accorded:

Tamara jm3464

Clearly the largest Russian Bride, at 5' 2" and 370 pounds, some may perceive her as a danger. I think her biggest danger might be that after eating her, the opposing team may be forced to take a nap.

 

[bigjay]

Noodlefish takes  Blue Whale, Balaenoptera musculusAn average blue whale is between 75 and 80 feet (23 to 24.5 m) long, and weighs about 110 tons (99,800 kg). Females are larger than males of the same age, the largest perhaps weighing as much as 150 tons (136,000 kg.)They can swim up to 30 mph. Don't mess with the Whale...piclinkyGonna take a lot of combined effort to bring this bad boy down.

Or one big whale with teeth.

Blue whale has a mouth... all it has to do is wait until its attcker gets tired then have itself a Big Gulp. Bring on your sperm whales and giant squids.... :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: By my estimates the only thing that can affect the blue whale is a finger monkey with an exploding harpoon.

The problem with this strategy vs a sperm whale / orca / sizable shark is the attacker is tiring itself by tearing off big mouthfuls of blue whale... my money would be on death by blood loss before any of the forementioned critters gets too tired.

Well I'll let Noodlefish address this further since he's the marine biology major, but I'm pretty confident the blue whale has the ability to defend itself and just out of sheer size it's going to take more than one of any other sea creature mentioned to do any real damage. Take a look at that cheesy picture you're all laughing at... that's a size comparison, and a GWS vs. a blue whale is like a minnow trying to eat Gilbert Grape's mom.

Nothing would normally attack a blue whale because of it's sheer size. Animals don't normally attack things just because they feel like it. A sperm whale is about half the size of a blue but with a monstrous bite. I don't even see how the blue could hurt it unless it was stupid enough to swim into a swat from it's tail. It's too big for the blue to swallow.

 

[JZilla]

For punishment for the out of turn pick, Sandbagger is hereby accored:Tamara jm3464 Clearly the largest Russian Bride, at 5' 2" and 370 pounds, some may perceive her as a danger. I think her biggest danger might be that after eating her, the opposing team may be forced to take a nap.

LMAOShe's plenty nasty, but if she's 370 she's made out of lead. Still, she makes a nice subsititute for the fossa.

 

[JAA]

For punishment for the out of turn pick, Sandbagger is hereby accored:Tamara jm3464 Clearly the largest Russian Bride, at 5' 2" and 370 pounds, some may perceive her as a danger. I think her biggest danger might be that after eating her, the opposing team may be forced to take a nap.

I like the photochop in the top picture ... lolJAA

 

[bagger]

For punishment for the out of turn pick, Sandbagger is hereby accored:Tamara jm3464 Clearly the largest Russian Bride, at 5' 2" and 370 pounds, some may perceive her as a danger. I think her biggest danger might be that after eating her, the opposing team may be forced to take a nap.

does this mean i don't get the fossa, or that i have to pick this fatty before the draft is over?

 

[bagger]

gdb not being able to access that site until after work.

 

[the rover]

:scratchingtamaraoffdraftboard:

 

[JZilla]

Noodlefish takes  Blue Whale, Balaenoptera musculusAn average blue whale is between 75 and 80 feet (23 to 24.5 m) long, and weighs about 110 tons (99,800 kg). Females are larger than males of the same age, the largest perhaps weighing as much as 150 tons (136,000 kg.)They can swim up to 30 mph. Don't mess with the Whale...piclinkyGonna take a lot of combined effort to bring this bad boy down.

Or one big whale with teeth.

Blue whale has a mouth... all it has to do is wait until its attcker gets tired then have itself a Big Gulp. Bring on your sperm whales and giant squids.... :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: By my estimates the only thing that can affect the blue whale is a finger monkey with an exploding harpoon.

The problem with this strategy vs a sperm whale / orca / sizable shark is the attacker is tiring itself by tearing off big mouthfuls of blue whale... my money would be on death by blood loss before any of the forementioned critters gets too tired.

Well I'll let Noodlefish address this further since he's the marine biology major, but I'm pretty confident the blue whale has the ability to defend itself and just out of sheer size it's going to take more than one of any other sea creature mentioned to do any real damage. Take a look at that cheesy picture you're all laughing at... that's a size comparison, and a GWS vs. a blue whale is like a minnow trying to eat Gilbert Grape's mom.

Nothing would normally attack a blue whale because of it's sheer size. Animals don't normally attack things just because they feel like it. A sperm whale is about half the size of a blue but with a monstrous bite. I don't even see how the blue could hurt it unless it was stupid enough to swim into a swat from it's tail. It's too big for the blue to swallow.

I agree that the biggest (ONLY) competition for the blue whale will come from the sperm whale. But the sperm whale isn't exactly a speed demon either, and the damage it's going to be able to do to something twice its size with comparable speed is certainly up for debate, teeth or no teeth.

 

[bigjay]

5' 2", 370 lbs and her body build is feminine?

 

[randall146]

Pffft... the fossa would tear a moose to shreds

Fossa:  Reeeeeoaw in leaping frenzy, tears moose to shreds in about 8 seconds

Dead Moose:  Wha' happen'?

Does the dead moose in this hypo talk like Fred Willard?

Yes, I brought Fred Willard in to play the dead moose.

That's excellent casting.I see it like this:

Fossa: Reeeeeoaw, [leaping frenzy upon apparently unsuspecting Moose]

Moose: I don't think sooooooooo [using antlers easily tosses hundreds of feet into waiting mouth of Sperm Whale]

 

[cosjobs]

Is Tlef on the clock then???

I have TLEF's proxy pick, once I finish administering justice.

 

[Mr.Squidward]

the blue does have size- the problem is it really has no defense mechanism (nor does it have an offensive mechanism).

 

[randall146]

Noodlefish takes  Blue Whale, Balaenoptera musculusAn average blue whale is between 75 and 80 feet (23 to 24.5 m) long, and weighs about 110 tons (99,800 kg). Females are larger than males of the same age, the largest perhaps weighing as much as 150 tons (136,000 kg.)They can swim up to 30 mph. Don't mess with the Whale...piclinkyGonna take a lot of combined effort to bring this bad boy down.

Or one big whale with teeth.

Blue whale has a mouth... all it has to do is wait until its attcker gets tired then have itself a Big Gulp. Bring on your sperm whales and giant squids.... :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: By my estimates the only thing that can affect the blue whale is a finger monkey with an exploding harpoon.

The problem with this strategy vs a sperm whale / orca / sizable shark is the attacker is tiring itself by tearing off big mouthfuls of blue whale... my money would be on death by blood loss before any of the forementioned critters gets too tired.

Well I'll let Noodlefish address this further since he's the marine biology major, but I'm pretty confident the blue whale has the ability to defend itself and just out of sheer size it's going to take more than one of any other sea creature mentioned to do any real damage. Take a look at that cheesy picture you're all laughing at... that's a size comparison, and a GWS vs. a blue whale is like a minnow trying to eat Gilbert Grape's mom.

Nothing would normally attack a blue whale because of it's sheer size. Animals don't normally attack things just because they feel like it. A sperm whale is about half the size of a blue but with a monstrous bite. I don't even see how the blue could hurt it unless it was stupid enough to swim into a swat from it's tail. It's too big for the blue to swallow.

I agree that the biggest (ONLY) competition for the blue whale will come from the sperm whale.

Or Tamara

 

[JZilla]

Pffft... the fossa would tear a moose to shreds

Fossa:  Reeeeeoaw in leaping frenzy, tears moose to shreds in about 8 seconds

Dead Moose:  Wha' happen'?

Does the dead moose in this hypo talk like Fred Willard?

Yes, I brought Fred Willard in to play the dead moose.

That's excellent casting.I see it like this:

Fossa: Reeeeeoaw, [leaping frenzy upon apparently unsuspecting Moose]

Moose: I don't think sooooooooo [using antlers easily tosses hundreds of feet into waiting mouth of Sperm Whale]

Moose = too slow, period. Fossa gets around the head and it's over.We should probably drop it though since the fossa is still off the board (it looks like).

 

[bigjay]

Pffft... the fossa would tear a moose to shreds

Fossa:  Reeeeeoaw in leaping frenzy, tears moose to shreds in about 8 seconds

Dead Moose:  Wha' happen'?

Does the dead moose in this hypo talk like Fred Willard?

Yes, I brought Fred Willard in to play the dead moose.

That's excellent casting.I see it like this:

Fossa: Reeeeeoaw, [leaping frenzy upon apparently unsuspecting Moose]

Moose: I don't think sooooooooo [using antlers easily tosses hundreds of feet into waiting mouth of Sperm Whale]

Or alternately throws it on the ground and does a Mexican hat dance until fossa has been pureed...

 

[cosjobs]

gdb not being able to access that site until after work.

No fossa, just Tamara. But seriously, I would not be surprised if Fossa is still there next round...

 

[bagger]

Noodlefish takes  Blue Whale, Balaenoptera musculusAn average blue whale is between 75 and 80 feet (23 to 24.5 m) long, and weighs about 110 tons (99,800 kg). Females are larger than males of the same age, the largest perhaps weighing as much as 150 tons (136,000 kg.)They can swim up to 30 mph. Don't mess with the Whale...piclinkyGonna take a lot of combined effort to bring this bad boy down.

Or one big whale with teeth.

Blue whale has a mouth... all it has to do is wait until its attcker gets tired then have itself a Big Gulp. Bring on your sperm whales and giant squids.... :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: By my estimates the only thing that can affect the blue whale is a finger monkey with an exploding harpoon.

The problem with this strategy vs a sperm whale / orca / sizable shark is the attacker is tiring itself by tearing off big mouthfuls of blue whale... my money would be on death by blood loss before any of the forementioned critters gets too tired.

Well I'll let Noodlefish address this further since he's the marine biology major, but I'm pretty confident the blue whale has the ability to defend itself and just out of sheer size it's going to take more than one of any other sea creature mentioned to do any real damage. Take a look at that cheesy picture you're all laughing at... that's a size comparison, and a GWS vs. a blue whale is like a minnow trying to eat Gilbert Grape's mom.

Nothing would normally attack a blue whale because of it's sheer size. Animals don't normally attack things just because they feel like it. A sperm whale is about half the size of a blue but with a monstrous bite. I don't even see how the blue could hurt it unless it was stupid enough to swim into a swat from it's tail. It's too big for the blue to swallow.

I agree that the biggest (ONLY) competition for the blue whale will come from the sperm whale. But the sperm whale isn't exactly a speed demon either, and the damage it's going to be able to do to something twice its size with comparable speed is certainly up for debate, teeth or no teeth.

Considering the giant squid is more than a match for the sperm whale, the blue whale better be watching it's back for the Giant Squid, and my buoyant 320 lb russian beast from the east.

 

[randall146]

For punishment for the out of turn pick, Sandbagger is hereby accored:Tamara jm3464 Clearly the largest Russian Bride, at 5' 2" and 370 pounds, some may perceive her as a danger. I think her biggest danger might be that after eating her, the opposing team may be forced to take a nap.

I'm pretty sure the others will be getting in line for swift Taipan bites if the alternative is eating her.

 

[Noodlefish]

Noodlefish takes  Blue Whale, Balaenoptera musculusAn average blue whale is between 75 and 80 feet (23 to 24.5 m) long, and weighs about 110 tons (99,800 kg). Females are larger than males of the same age, the largest perhaps weighing as much as 150 tons (136,000 kg.)They can swim up to 30 mph. Don't mess with the Whale...piclinkyGonna take a lot of combined effort to bring this bad boy down.

Or one big whale with teeth.

Blue whale has a mouth... all it has to do is wait until its attcker gets tired then have itself a Big Gulp. Bring on your sperm whales and giant squids.... :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: By my estimates the only thing that can affect the blue whale is a finger monkey with an exploding harpoon.

The problem with this strategy vs a sperm whale / orca / sizable shark is the attacker is tiring itself by tearing off big mouthfuls of blue whale... my money would be on death by blood loss before any of the forementioned critters gets too tired.

Well I'll let Noodlefish address this further since he's the marine biology major, but I'm pretty confident the blue whale has the ability to defend itself and just out of sheer size it's going to take more than one of any other sea creature mentioned to do any real damage. Take a look at that cheesy picture you're all laughing at... that's a size comparison, and a GWS vs. a blue whale is like a minnow trying to eat Gilbert Grape's mom.

Nothing would normally attack a blue whale because of it's sheer size. Animals don't normally attack things just because they feel like it. A sperm whale is about half the size of a blue but with a monstrous bite. I don't even see how the blue could hurt it unless it was stupid enough to swim into a swat from it's tail. It's too big for the blue to swallow.

I agree that the biggest (ONLY) competition for the blue whale will come from the sperm whale. But the sperm whale isn't exactly a speed demon either, and the damage it's going to be able to do to something twice its size with comparable speed is certainly up for debate, teeth or no teeth.

Potentially the giant squid could have a go... but unlikely. Best bet is to rig the fight so that the blue whale ends up on the land, crushed under its own weight, gasping for breath...A sad end to a tremendous creature...(ps - i gotta run - it's almost 9pm and just leaving work Jzilla has next pick)

 

[CaptainHucklebuck]

For punishment for the out of turn pick, Sandbagger is hereby accored:Tamara jm3464 Clearly the largest Russian Bride, at 5' 2" and 370 pounds, some may perceive her as a danger. I think her biggest danger might be that after eating her, the opposing team may be forced to take a nap.

I'm pretty sure the others will be getting in line for swift Taipan bites if the alternative is eating her.

Build body: Feminine I'm so glad I'm not from Russia.

 

[JZilla]

I don't think some people comprehend what the fossa brings to the table. Whoever drafts it would be wise to do their research and come up with a solid description, so the voters know exactly what they're dealing with. Fossa vs. most of these land animals is Roy Jones Jr. vs. John Ruiz.

 

[CaptainHucklebuck]

I don't think some people comprehend what the fossa brings to the table. Whoever drafts it would be wise to do their research and come up with a solid description, so the voters know exactly what they're dealing with. Fossa vs. most of these land animals is Roy Jones Jr. vs. John Ruiz.

Nope. Sorry, the black leopard is Roy.

 

[cosjobs]

Now for Kovax. The commish greatly respects loyalty... but the magnitude of his abhornace for disloyalty is immense.Therefore Kovax's Sri Lankan Elephant is assessed with a sever sinus infection. Not a small one to p!ss him off, but a big one that makes him breathe thru his mouth and unable to use his trunk.TLEF pick coming up.

 

[bigjay]

I don't think some people comprehend what the fossa brings to the table. Whoever drafts it would be wise to do their research and come up with a solid description, so the voters know exactly what they're dealing with. Fossa vs. most of these land animals is Roy Jones Jr. vs. John Ruiz.

I'm not disputed it's a fierce critter but it's too small to be a threat to anything sizable. Something designed to eat small animals would take a long time to inflict serious damage on something bigger than say a deer.

 

[GStrot]

Nope. Sorry, the black leopard is Roy.

I thought it was a white Tiger that attacked Roy.

 

[⚡DEADHEAD⚡]

This whole thing is thoroughly entertaining. Keep it coming.

 

[gorf]

About the blue whale selection: I gotta be honest here. I thought about taking the blue whale with my last pick. I think I'm better off with the good old American bison, but I did give Big Whaley some serious thought.Here's what swayed me away from the whale (other than the bison being such a good pick, of course):1. No teeth. Its mouth is essentially a giant sieve. 2. I'm not sure if it has the capacity to swallow items larger than shrimp. If it were capable of doing so, why would plankton be the biggest part of its diet?3. Plankton is the biggest part of its diet. Kinda wussy.4. On land an animal the size of a blue whale would be crushed by its own weight. Granted, I don't think it's going to be spending a lot of time on land. But it's humorous nonetheless.5. It doesn't have any ability to fend off predators. It can swim away, or it can swat its lumbering fin. That's about it. It would take a long time to bring one down, no doubt about that, but I think it's very doable. In the death match, this animal has no offensive capability. Its biggest draw is that it will take a long time to inflict enough wounds to make it bleed to death. I think the strategy against this animal has to be to ignore it, and hope your 8 animals can defeat this team's essentially 7 animals. Then go after the whale. It's really not a threat, so why waste energy when there are (presumably) other viable animals to attack?

 

[CaptainHucklebuck]

I thought it was a white Tiger that attacked Roy.

Yes, but black leopards tend to think of themselves AS Roy. That's why they're loners... not too many animals think of themselves as Siegfried.

 

[the rover]

I thought it was a white Tiger that attacked Roy.

The white tiger was "saving" Roy.

 

[bagger]

:TAKESOFFNCCOMMISHHAT, PUTSONSANDBAGGERHAT!!!:

this was my secret attempt to try to get you on my team. alas to no avail.

 

[FatMax]

I wish cosjobs stayed on top of his picks as well in the russian bride draft. If he doesn't get over there pretty soon, we are going to give him the same one he gave sandbaggers.

 

[bigjay]

About the blue whale selection: I gotta be honest here. I thought about taking the blue whale with my last pick. I think I'm better off with the good old American bison, but I did give Big Whaley some serious thought.Here's what swayed me away from the whale (other than the bison being such a good pick, of course):1. No teeth. Its mouth is essentially a giant sieve. 2. I'm not sure if it has the capacity to swallow items larger than shrimp. If it were capable of doing so, why would plankton be the biggest part of its diet?3. Plankton is the biggest part of its diet. Kinda wussy.4. On land an animal the size of a blue whale would be crushed by its own weight. Granted, I don't think it's going to be spending a lot of time on land. But it's humorous nonetheless.5. It doesn't have any ability to fend off predators. It can swim away, or it can swat its lumbering fin. That's about it. It would take a long time to bring one down, no doubt about that, but I think it's very doable. In the death match, this animal has no offensive capability. Its biggest draw is that it will take a long time to inflict enough wounds to make it bleed to death. I think the strategy against this animal has to be to ignore it, and hope your 8 animals can defeat this team's essentially 7 animals. Then go after the whale. It's really not a threat, so why waste energy when there are (presumably) other viable animals to attack?

I agree with all of this. Big blue is massivley big, but's that about it... he's the ultimate defensive pick.

 

[cosjobs]

I wish cosjobs stayed on top of his picks as well in the russian bride draft. If he doesn't get over there pretty soon, we are going to give him the same one he gave sandbaggers.

This draft moves, that one does not. Commish takes timeout to make his bridal selection.

 

[gorf]

I agree with all of this. Big blue is massivley big, but's that about it... he's the ultimate defensive pick.

Sort of like the big giant lardass who was always the anchor in tug-of-war. You know, the one who never pulled, but just sat on the rope.

 

[JZilla]

Well ultimately this is Noodle's pick, and with my limited knowledge I can only defend it so far, but I am looking forward to the descriptions of how exactly these teams plan to take the blue whale down.And I do think the blue whale could AT LEAST get any animal far enough down its throat to hold it there while the blue ringed octopus anesthesizes, then the polar bear administers an innardectomy.

 

[bagger]

I wish cosjobs stayed on top of his picks as well in the russian bride draft. If he doesn't get over there pretty soon, we are going to give him the same one he gave sandbaggers.

nice

 

[bigjay]

Well ultimately this is Noodle's pick, and with my limited knowledge I can only defend it so far, but I am looking forward to the descriptions of how exactly these teams plan to take the blue whale down.And I do think the blue whale could AT LEAST get any animal far enough down its throat to hold it there while the blue ringed octopus anesthesizes, then the polar bear administers an innardectomy.

So it just sits there and waits for something to swim down it's throat? It's not gonna catch anything on it's own, it may have a decent top speed but I'm sure it corners like crap.

 

[randall146]

The blue whale could be used effectively by giving his teammates something to hide behind and/or leap off of to attack. Kind of like having a fortress. A fossa or leaping cat would actually team with a blue whale quite nicely.This strategy probably will not work with a blue-ringed octopus and an arthritic polar bear, however. Splat. Thud.

 

[FatMax]

This draft moves, that one does not. Commish takes timeout to make his bridal selection.

You will be the 8th pick in the last four hours. The pace has picked up, though I am not expecting it to stay that way once it get back to the swing.

 

[the rover]

The killer whale is the blue whale's natural predator in the wild. Granted, they normally attack in packs, but one determined killer whale should be able to do the job, just more slowly. Given the type of combat for the deathmatch, it seems that pretty much anything with powerful enough jaws and a good set of teeth would eventually be able to overcome the weight/size advantage. It isn't like the blue whale will be fighting back as it gets chunks ripped out of it.

 

[bigjay]

The blue whale could be used effectively by giving his teammates something to hide behind and/or leap off of to attack. Kind of like having a fortress. A fossa or leaping cat would actually team with a blue whale quite nicely.This strategy probably will not work with a blue-ringed octopus and an arthritic polar bear, however. Splat. Thud.

LOL at the image of a fossa jumping off the whale...

 

[JZilla]

The blue whale could be used effectively by giving his teammates something to hide behind and/or leap off of to attack. Kind of like having a fortress. A fossa or leaping cat would actually team with a blue whale quite nicely.This strategy probably will not work with a blue-ringed octopus and an arthritic polar bear, however. Splat. Thud.

Polar bear's a swimmer... I think he'd work well with the blue whale. Arthritis Shmarthritis... we've got plenty of Bufferin.I would like to get my hands on that fossa. But this is not my team.

 

[bigjay]

The killer whale is the blue whale's natural predator in the wild. Granted, they normally attack in packs, but one determined killer whale should be able to do the job, just more slowly. Given the type of combat for the deathmatch, it seems that pretty much anything with powerful enough jaws and a good set of teeth would eventually be able to overcome the weight/size advantage. It isn't like the blue whale will be fighting back as it gets chunks ripped out of it.

Exactly. It's only defense is that its so damn big everything else avoids it.

 

[bagger]

Exactly. It's only defense is that its so damn big everything else avoids it.

much like my russian bride.

 

[bagger]

is courtjester up?

 

[CaptainHucklebuck]

The blue whale could be used effectively by giving his teammates something to hide behind and/or leap off of to attack. Kind of like having a fortress. A fossa or leaping cat would actually team with a blue whale quite nicely.This strategy probably will not work with a blue-ringed octopus and an arthritic polar bear, however. Splat. Thud.

Polar bear's a swimmer... I think he'd work well with the blue whale. Arthritis Shmarthritis... we've got plenty of Bufferin.I would like to get my hands on that fossa. But this is not my team.

Bufferin? Well, why don't you just give it a pair of nylons and aset of brass knuckles, eh? Bufferin.... if my Gorilla sees any of that going on, he's having a conversation with the ref. In sign language.