Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums
This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!
Deadly Animal Draft (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter cosjobs
- Start date
CaptainHucklebuck
Ancient Chinese Secret
Actually, Gringo, at El Cholo in Santa Monica.
Last edited by a moderator:
Ditkaless Wonders
Footballguy
HandicappedTruth: Hippo/Black Rhino=two great pulling guards ala Kramer/Thurston. The snake, why not it worked for Stabler. Massive speed at the skill positions. Great team if playing football in the cage, but only "good" as far as death match skills. 4:1Gorf: Size-check. Speed-check. Arial Assualt-nope. Toxics-nope. Chemical weapons-check. Shock and Awe-check (Marina and electric Eel). 5:1Rover: Finishers-check. Punishers-check. Defensive coverage of the flanks-check. Intimidation-check. 3:1Sandbagger: Strong out of the chute, but then so is my fecal matter. Nice start with Squid and Dragon but then tailed off mightily. Still, squid alone has a knockout puncher's chance. 12:1 Kovax: Balance! 3:1Big Jay: See Sandbagger 14:1Noodlefish: Ultimate disrupter in Blue Whale. Talk about a wedge buster! Prior to injuries some threat, but with injuries has no finisher. Too bad polar bear is doubtful, otherwise might make some noise before elimination. 25:1Court Jester: Teeth-check. Claws-check. Toxics-check. Arial Assualt-check. Brains-check. Hooves-check. More teeth-check. Fear and Loathing-check (Olga) 2:1Hucklebuck: Yeah right. got solid third round value in the first, and solid forth round value in the second. 25:1Pool Shark: Very well balanced. Opened at 7:2. Currently at 5:2 and making a move.TELF: Hydrophobic Kittens? The twin Terrors of Morrey and Ludmilla? 4:1Fast Eddie: Respect alone demands 2:1pgreenfan: Are you playing the same game as the rest? 30:1NC commish: Massive props to the terror of the animal kingdom the Finger Monkey. I judge not Jedi Masters by their size. 11:3Goat: Darkhorse. 8:1PAO: The dental problems on the bear have taken this team off of the boardHey Commish. What's with all the bear hate. More bear maimings than any otheranimal out there. Do you have issues from childhood rejection by your teddy?
Last edited by a moderator:
Mr.Squidward
Footballguy
sorry, that should have been 'big cats'.
cactus
Telepathic Stuntman
Sonny Lubick Blowup Doll
Footballguy
Likewise.
Courtjester
The Town Drunk
Yup, there it is!!"Dont hate me cuz you aint me , do as others do and sweat me."
Gringoloco
Footballguy
Been to the El Cholo in Pasadena. Bartenders are the worst there!Might have to try the one in Santa Monica. If you hear someone say "how's the margarita here, cap'n hucklebuck?", you'll know it's me.Then again, if it's not you, it might come off a bit odd. Besides, I live in Santa Clarita now.
Sonny Lubick Blowup Doll
Footballguy
Nice handicapping! 
If I could trade our Texas Longhorn for a Bull Moose, we'd be at even money.Oh, and we were gonna take a giraffe as our sleeper D, but he was off the board. I mean, what a great lookout with our Eagle Owl/General perched up there on his head. 
Add to that, his kicking power for intruders, and you have the 85' Bears.
If I could trade our Texas Longhorn for a Bull Moose, we'd be at even money.Oh, and we were gonna take a giraffe as our sleeper D, but he was off the board. I mean, what a great lookout with our Eagle Owl/General perched up there on his head. Add to that, his kicking power for intruders, and you have the 85' Bears.
Hipple Long Ware & Peete
Footballguy
Hipple Long Ware & Peete
Footballguy
You gonna name him Rudy?
Hipple Long Ware & Peete
Footballguy
condolences..
Sonny Lubick Blowup Doll
Footballguy
Yeah, a bear's damage is done with massive blows of his claw-filled clubs.You don't see them necking their prey, like cats.Damn, we don't have a bear. :(According to these reports, it doesn't matter if bears have teeth or not. This is a death match not a buffet.Thanks for the research Disco StuAlso
Last edited by a moderator:
The Goat
Footballguy
Good thing I do - I used that reference when I picked the Grizzly.(and mine actually HAS teeth.)Yeah, a bear's damage is done with massive blows of his claw-filled clubs.You don't see them necking their prey, like cats.Damn, we don't have a bear. :(According to these reports, it doesn't matter if bears have teeth or not. This is a death match not a buffet.Thanks for the research Disco StuAlso
btw - FallerJW is my team GM - I will have the background/pics coming in tomorrow morning.
Last edited by a moderator:
cosjobs
Footballguy
Now THAT'S what I am talking about.I think he is way off on some of the lines, but highest kudos to George for the write-upIn answer to your question: Maimings and Disablities were assessed for serious rules infractions. I tended to maim a bear when I did not want to take out a player completely, but still cause noticeable damage. The bear can get you with teeth or claws, so if I took one away, the bear remains formidible, just not as dominant as he was.
Last edited by a moderator:
Sonny Lubick Blowup Doll
Footballguy
Another sleeper that didn't get drafted...The Giant River Otter...largest of 15 species. Don't laugh. Crocks get the pfpuck away from this badass, the largest mammal in South America...so does the Annaconda (although large ones don't care). They are fast as ####, strong...and own whatever river they decide to occupy. Pretty quick on land, too. Dual purpose.Also, they have a decent set of chompers.We had already drafted our water killers, though...
Last edited by a moderator:
Ditkaless Wonders
Footballguy
Engorgeous George betting lines are subject to change w/o notice. Changes are likely to be forthcoming as matchups are set, gameplans get installed, and injuries are updated.Also, I have seen some of the Mirage hotel handicappers sniffing around this thread. Expect to see their lines soon. I believe they are looking into rumors of a pulled tenticle on the squid and are investigating whether finger monkey may be ingesting GGH (Gorilla Growth Hormone) to beef up prior to the battles.Also several teams are already rumored to be experiencing rifts along the carnivore/herbivore line, as well as between acquatics and terrestrials. Stay tuned.
cosjobs
Footballguy
Here is the first round:FIRST ROUND MATCHUPS:(All are in neutral land/water death match cages, sized to fit the teams)Truth vs. GorfKovax vs. bigjayCaptain Hucklebuck vs. Poolsharkpgreenfan vs. NCCommishThe Rover vs. SandbaggerNoodlefish vs. CourtJesterTLEF316 vs. FastEddie21The Goat vs PAONext round will decide div. champs
PoolShark
Footballguy
The only owl drafted was ours, the Eurasian Eagle Owl.It, not the Great Horned, or any other owl is the largest.
Additionally, it is a SERIOUS predator. Eurasian Eagle Owls...
Note: This is an OWL. Foxes? Sheep? Deer?
Find me a nastier flying predator.
Sonny Lubick Blowup Doll
Footballguy
Ehem...excuse me? While I admire your brilliance and understanding of the Great Horned Owl and its ability as a pure hunter, I can only assume you have not been exposed to the even BIGGER, NASTIER, EAGLE-KILLER found all over Europe known as Bubo Bubo!It hunts eagles (who we are up against)...as well as foxes and small deer.
You missed this...
"With their 6th rd selection of the Deadly Animal Draft, Team Poolshark/SonnyLubick take...
Bubo Bubo...also known as the...
The Eruasian Eagle Owl!
This is not your local barn owl, friends.
While many here have gone with the easy selection of largest birds ...what's been lost in that practice is the cunning, marksmanship and elusiveness of the wise, old Owl.
Scavengers of a feather will flock together, but the Owl sits atop the predatory bird food chain...a HUNTER, in the purest sense. Yes, eagles, he will hunt you down, too...by air, if necessary.
Foxes, look out...you are on this LARGE OWL'S menu. And deer, hide your fawn...or Bubo Bubo will snatch them from the fields. Oh yes, he will...documented.
Lastly, please note that the Owl's nocturnal ways were also a consideration when making this shrewd pick...as the rest of our bloodthirsty team sleeps, the Owl will have his radar on, wary of sneak attacks ...or late night snacks.
Good night, Bubo Bubo!...and WELCOME!"
Bubo, etc.
Fallerjw
Footballguy
Ditkaless Wonders
Footballguy
Engorgeous Handicaps the first matchup:The Truth vs. GorfThe early line seems to favor the Truth, if only by a slight margin. That said EG sees the matchup as follows:Acquatics: White Tip stands off in deep water inviting Eel and Baracuda away from the reefs and brackish river waters they call home. They refuse to engage early and we have a stand off.Meanwhile, on land, Mongoose and Eagle double team and lay waste to slow moving and befuddled Python before he can ambush anybody. Unfortunately Skunk witnesses the fatal attack and manages to temporarily blind both with his spray. Rhea moves in and dispatches the temporarily disoriented mongoose. Eagle recovers in time to shread the skunk into bite sized pieces for its young.Eagle then returns and harries Rhea while Baboon closes on it as well. Bison and Elephant, respectful of Hippo and Rhino, stand off and Rhea is finished though it does wound Baboon with a claw to the victuals.Eel, seeing course of Battle, moves behind Hippo in shallows. Hippo is shocked, quite literally, at Eels approach, and reckless, and in pain, bolts disoriented from water. Big Mistake. Elephant dispatches Hippo suffering bloody, but non-lethal wounds to its flanks.Eagle, Baboon, Rattler then mount assault on the Pacyderm. (Bison being familiar with rattlers holds back.) They all dash themselves against Elephant going down to death, squashed or swatted from the sky, but not before Elephant suffers nasty monkey bite, poison injection and eye blinding. Rhino, seeing opening as well as any half blind animal can, charges. He deals Death blow to Elephant but suffers broken back and goring in process.Team Gorf, having no Carnivores relies on Bison to Gore and Stomp Rhino to death. The process is agonizingly slow but Rhino fails. Bison, uninjured, rules the land.White Tip still rules the open waters undisputed. He invites Bison out of his element. Bison only goes knee deep into the shallows. White Tip closes. As he does so Eel does his thing and Barracuda charges, taking a nice bite out of White Tip, but dying for his efforts. White Tip, now enraged charges Bison and bites in. Bison, being powerful beyound the experieces of White Tip runs to dry land dragging White Tip along. White Tip holds on ripping deeply into the flesh of Bison. Bison bleeds out simultaneosly to White Tip's dry land asphyxiation. Eel, short on power but uninjured rules the cage and starts a carrion feast.Unless strategy changes the outcome I am going to install the slight pre-tournament underdog Gorf as a slight favorite.I invite others to handicap the other matches as I amgoing sking for a few days.
Last edited by a moderator:
Ditkaless Wonders
Footballguy
Sorry. Nothing named Bubo Bubo gets our respect for taking out puny, cowardly, capitulating, eurotrash eagles. How would it fair against the Bald Eagle or even the Golden? No, something named Bubo Bubo may eventually get elected to head the United Nations, but it will never displace that great american bird, the GREAT HORNED OWL. Not in the heart of this handicapper it won't.
It hunts eagles (who we are up against)...as well as foxes and small deer.
You missed this...
"With their 6th rd selection of the Deadly Animal Draft, Team Poolshark/SonnyLubick take...
Bubo Bubo...also known as the...
The Eruasian Eagle Owl!
This is not your local barn owl, friends.
While many here have gone with the easy selection of largest birds ...what's been lost in that practice is the cunning, marksmanship and elusiveness of the wise, old Owl.
Scavengers of a feather will flock together, but the Owl sits atop the predatory bird food chain...a HUNTER, in the purest sense. Yes, eagles, he will hunt you down, too...by air, if necessary.
Foxes, look out...you are on this LARGE OWL'S menu. And deer, hide your fawn...or Bubo Bubo will snatch them from the fields. Oh yes, he will...documented.
Lastly, please note that the Owl's nocturnal ways were also a consideration when making this shrewd pick...as the rest of our bloodthirsty team sleeps, the Owl will have his radar on, wary of sneak attacks ...or late night snacks.
Good night, Bubo Bubo!...and WELCOME!"
Bubo, etc.
Last edited by a moderator:
PoolShark
Footballguy
:rotflmao: Great horned owl = bubo virginianus
"bubo" is latin for owl.
They are actually in the same family, except the Great Horned ranges from 36-60" wingspan, and the Eagle Owl ranges from 60-79"
As for the bald eagle, the male (hunter) is slightly larger on average than our Owl, but bald eagles are sea and water eagles and dine primarily on fish.
As mentioned, our Owl dines on eagles, other owls, hawks, foxes, and small deer and sheep.
'nuff said
gorf
Footballguy
Yep, that's about how I pictured it, too. 
Except I think the eel and barracuda tag team will take out the shark without the bison getting involved. Those two really are going to be tough to beat. As soon as the shark gets close enough, the electric eel will zap him, leaving him paralyzed long enough for the barracuda to slice him a few times with his razor-sharp teeth. Then, just as the shark begins to come to, BZZZZZZZZZZZZZ, shocked again. Rinse, lather, repeat. It's entirely possible that the large swiss-cheese shark might die without inflicting a single bite on the dynamic duo. (Hmm, I'll have to work on a better nickname than that.)
Sonny Lubick Blowup Doll
Footballguy
:rotflmao: ...good to have you on the sidelines, hombre.Might I add that it is a known fact that Eagles, particularly the one using Rogaine, prefer to scavenge instead of HUNT...when at all possible.
Courtjester
The Town Drunk
Very Nice work!!
What the heck is happening here?? This thing started as a joke and has become very (dare I say) respectible.Milton Bradley is going to be calling and asking for the rights so they can make a game out of it pretty soon. Heck, we could dig out all our old D&D dice,"Ah, my whale does 2d4 damage with his front flipper to your mongoose."
cosjobs
Footballguy
Allright, Special Emmissary FallerJW, you are the man. Something this important can certainly last a week. Anyway, half of thee guys will be dead after the first round, we may as well let them have a week to talk trash before they die.I have to take a week-long course starting monday, so this will work well. When I get done with the class, I can set up the polls with the liks to the team sites.
