The best answer I can give you is divorce only really hurts you if you are stuck in the middle of the bell curve. Well what sucks is that most people tend to bunch up in that section so marriage can become a pretty raw deal for the middle class average guy. If you are very wealthy, yes, marriage can hit you hard financially, emotionally and legally, but if you are loaded then you have the resources to start over. If you are very poor, well half of nothing is nothing, so if you will always have nothing, then taking half of that is probably the least of your worries about life. But most people ride the middle. And that's where you can get hammered. You can be bled just enough through child support and alimony that you can just scrape by but never enough so you can get ahead. Sound familiar? It should. It's just a remodified form of economic slavery. Legally and financially, there are very few instances where marriage makes any kind of sense for a man living in the Western world. In terms of emotional impact, that's a separate deal for each man on his own, weigh out by your commitments and if you have kids involved. I've seen a good cross section of people throughout my life. Rich, poor, educated, uneducated, common sense, pure #######, etc. I'd say about 1 percent of all relationships work out in the real world. Married or otherwise. So in realistic terms, if you got married today, odds are you would get divorced 65 times out of 100. There's a strong chance you'd be a regular middle class guy so odds are you'd get hit hard financially. Factor in kids and you are also getting bombshelled legally and emotionally. So 35 times out of 100, you'd stay married. Except the idea of "staying married" doesn't mean you're happy and with the right person. I'd say 1 out of those 35 times you'd be with someone you really love and have great chemistry with and they just make your world a better place. So it's a little misleading to just look at the raw stats for divorce, try to see it the other way, the number of men who aren't getting divorced by wished they could if not for kids or money or fear or whatnot. I think a place like nomarriage.com or a guy like Tom Leykis speak in generalities. No two situations are the same, no two divorces are the same. I think if there is anything to draw from the site or Leykis is that you have to realize the odds are stacked against you in marriage. Well, no big deal, the odds are stacked against you in life. Consider the astronomical odds of you being alive right now. One egg a month for a limited number of months and one sperm out of billions. And not just for you, but for everyone in your family tree to get to you. Consider war, famine, disease, chance encounters, small moments that got you here today. The odds are astronomical. That's why it's called "the miracle of life" Why should the odds of finding your soulmate, someone to really care about being any better? Some people in life will meet the right person. And more power to them if they find someone special. The rest of us will be alone or settle for the wrong person. Reality of the percentages, reality of life. I wouldn't discourage anyone from getting married, because you just might be that lucky one percenter out there, but I would encourage people to really sit down and make informed decisions about an issue that can have a massive ripple effect on the rest of your life. People settle and get married because there is a fear and stigma about being alone. Society wants it that way because they need a whole new generation of tax paying uber consumers out there to buy more chips and soda and SUVs. I think it's something young men really need to try to grasp, the idea that it's ok to be alone, that it's better to be with no person versus being with the wrong person. Right now, there are thousands of people on this site, and I bet you every dollar I have that there are a ton who secretly regret getting married. It all turned around on them, it wasn't what they thought it would be, they wished they could take it all back but they feel it's too late. Some will admit it, some will never admit it but it will be the sad truth in their hearts they have to live in denial about. The right person will bring out the good in you that you never knew you had inside. Most people will never find that right person. Just being alive today is it's own miracle, most people aren't fortunate enough to get another miracle waiting for them in quenue.
I love this guy.
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Speaking of which, when are my championship proceeds arriving?
I love this guy.
She wants to go to Harvard on a soccer scholarship and do modeling on the side. She also plans on playing on the US Women's Natonal Team. (Isn't it great to be eleven and not realize that any dream is impossible?)
J
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