Fatguy Jr. Questions Thread (1 Viewer)

[seltzercans]

This is Peter, fatguy’s kid. A while ago when he made the thread about me, I thought about contributing something, but never got around to it. To establish some basic facts about me and the trans stuff:

1)    Being trans is not a big part of my life. There have been times I have genuinely forgotten that I wasn’t born male. There is exactly one person I have come out to since coming to college, a girl who I was romantically involved with, and other than her and the two kids from my high school nobody is aware I am not biologically male. My college roommate was not aware. I am currently in London taking some classes, and my roommate here is not aware. I’m sure some of you may be skeptical of that claim, but I can assure you that if we met on the street, you would instinctively address me with male terms. I have not been misgendered by a stranger in over a year.

2)    I do not claim to be an authority on trans people. I especially do not claim to be an authority on ‘what trans people want’ or ‘how trans people want to be treated’. I have little to no involvement with the ‘trans community’ and have never publicly discussed any of this before.

3)    Don’t worry about accidentally offending me. As long as you are trying to engage in good faith I do not care about the exact terminology you use. I have heard it all before, and I have many friends in college who have shared their unsavory views about trans people with me. It doesn’t ever upset me, generally it annoys me or lowers my opinion of the speaker – those are the stakes here.

I thought some about what exactly I wanted to say, and decided I’d like to ask some questions. These are directed towards straight men, not sure of the exact demographics of thread participants but seemed like a safe bet.

1)    If you tomorrow woke up as a biological woman, would you make an attempt to present as male, and use your old name and pronouns, or would you change your name and pronouns and accept your new life?

2)    Would you be a lesbian? Do you think dating women as a woman would be different from dating women as a man?

3)    Would you continue having primarily male friends? How would you feel about men you meet being sexually attracted to you? Do you think that would get in the way of your friendship?

4)    Would you continue to dress the way you did previously, or would you consider wearing feminine clothes, or learning how to do makeup?

5)    To those of you with kids, would you be as willing to be a mother as you would be a father? Would you be willing to get pregnant, give birth, or breastfeed?

The point of these questions is mostly to poke at how your life as a woman would be substantially different from your life as a man, even if almost none of your actions changed. Whether this is good or bad is another conversation, but it is certainly true, and something I feel isn't fully considered by most non-LGBT people. 

I wrote out some bullet points about how I feel about trans kids and trans athletes and some more about my experience, but I figured I’d rather have people ask questions. Because I’m stealth IRL I generally avoid conversations about this stuff to avoid seeming suspiciously knowledgeable or invested, but I have thought about it a lot. So ask whatever you want and I can try my best to give a genuine answer.   

 

[IvanKaramazov]

Welcome to the forum.  FYI, your dad should have warned you that some of the first things people will ask you about will involve whether Jerry Rice is a HOFer and whether you have any fantasy football themed t-shirts available for purchase.  

 

[Joe Schmo]

Welcome aboard seltzercans and thanks for opening this thread. 

 

[Joe Schmo]

I do have question for you- At what point in your transition did you make the plunge and start using the men's bathroom/locker room facilities? And has there been any push back from anyone?

 

[John123]

Welcome to the forum.  I've had great conversation with your father on this issue.  I'm glad transitioning has worked out well for you.  It seems very obvious it was the right choice for you. 

 

[belljr]

Do you think it's "easier/less stigma" for a trans male vs trans female?

 

[JIslander]

Welcome seltzercan --  I look forward to the discussion here -- gotta put some thought into those questions 

 

[seltzercans]

I do have question for you- At what point in your transition did you make the plunge and start using the men's bathroom/locker room facilities? And has there been any push back from anyone?

I actually remember my first male bathroom experience very vividly. I got extremely lucky with how some of the timing worked out, and I more or less got through the awkward transition stage during covid lockdowns. The first time I used a public male restroom was maybe 4 months after starting hormones at a rest stop. At that point my voice was still a pretty big giveaway, but I didn't get any comments or even weird looks while using the bathroom. Definitely think this is something harder for trans women though. 

 

[dgreen]

I thought some about what exactly I wanted to say, and decided I’d like to ask some questions. These are directed towards straight men, not sure of the exact demographics of thread participants but seemed like a safe bet.

1)    If you tomorrow woke up as a biological woman, would you make an attempt to present as male, and use your old name and pronouns, or would you change your name and pronouns and accept your new life?

2)    Would you be a lesbian? Do you think dating women as a woman would be different from dating women as a man?

3)    Would you continue having primarily male friends? How would you feel about men you meet being sexually attracted to you? Do you think that would get in the way of your friendship?

4)    Would you continue to dress the way you did previously, or would you consider wearing feminine clothes, or learning how to do makeup?

5)    To those of you with kids, would you be as willing to be a mother as you would be a father? Would you be willing to get pregnant, give birth, or breastfeed?

The point of these questions is mostly to poke at how your life as a woman would be substantially different from your life as a man, even if almost none of your actions changed. Whether this is good or bad is another conversation, but it is certainly true, and something I feel isn't fully considered by most non-LGBT people. 

I find these questions really hard to answer. It seems like this is one of those things that you just can't really answer without actually experiencing it. I think one of the difficulties in some of the trans conversations is the inability for cis people to understand what it must be like to be trans. But maybe someone else sees it differently and can attempt to put themselves in those shoes and imagine what it must be like and how they'd respond.

 

[Joe Schmo]

I actually remember my first male bathroom experience very vividly. I got extremely lucky with how some of the timing worked out, and I more or less got through the awkward transition stage during covid lockdowns. The first time I used a public male restroom was maybe 4 months after starting hormones at a rest stop. At that point my voice was still a pretty big giveaway, but I didn't get any comments or even weird looks while using the bathroom. Definitely think this is something harder for trans women though. 

Thanks for sharing. Now for an all important question and be honest-which restrooms are grosser and do you sometimes wish you could use the ladies room again??

 

[shadrap]

I really don't have any questions, just glad you are you & happy.

Happy Trails!

 

[seltzercans]

Do you think it's "easier/less stigma" for a trans male vs trans female?

Short answer: Yes.

Long answer: I would definitely say trans men experience less stigma. People care a lot less about them in general, most of the pushback on trans guys is from parents. I think trans men are in a lot less physical danger than trans women, and though I wouldn't call the general public ''accepting' there is much less hatred. I would also say that FTM (female to male) transition is easier because of the nature of hormones. What I mean by that is that testosterone causes a lot of irreversible effects that estrogen doesn't cause. At any age, a female can start take taking testosterone and experience a voice drop, but once your vocal cords have thickened you can only achieve a higher voice with voice training or surgery. Hair growth is another thing which is somewhat permanent, many trans women have to get laser hair removal to stop growing facial hair, estrogen or anti-androgens (testosterone suppressants) lessen hair growth but won't put it at female levels. Some things, like bone structure and height, are set once you finish growing, and some things, like fat distribution or skin texture, are able to be changed in either direction. But overall, trans women tend to require a lot more procedures and surgeries to pass if they went through male puberty, and if they haven't had an orchiectomy (testicle removal) they need to take medication to suppress their natural testosterone production in addition to taking estrogen. The only surgical procedure I've had was top surgery (breast removal) and I give myself one shot a week, much less of a headache. 

 

[seltzercans]

Thanks for sharing. Now for an all important question and be honest-which restrooms are grosser and do you sometimes wish you could use the ladies room again??

Mens bathrooms are grosser, but I haven't had to wait in a bathroom line since making the change which totally makes up for it. I will say that the bathroom in my suite of 4 guys last year sometimes got so bad I would just use the public one on the first floor, but I have never had a public restroom get anywhere close to that. Ladies rooms can be scary - much more social congregation / mirror usage. I appreciate that in mens bathrooms people are trying to get in and out as fast as possible. 

 

[HellToupee]

Awesome name

 

[The Commish]

Welcome   

 

[Dickies]

I'm trying to think about the questions you posed, but am having a difficult time coming up with answers to them.  I would guess that if I suddenly morphed into a biological woman in appearance that it wouldn't really change my established sexual preference.  I doubt I would go to great lengths to change my name or the way that I dress because I am pretty set in my ways and that sounds like a huge hassle.  I would probably shave my mustache and beard and maintain a clean-shaven look.  I am married with kids, so my friendships are about 50/50 men and women because they are all couples, but my hobbies overlap with a lot of the males so I end up spending more time with them doing things like  mountain biking.  I don't see that changing.  As for having kids, I've already had a vasectomy so I would have zero interest in getting pregnant.

 

[fatguyinalittlecoat]

1)    If you tomorrow woke up as a biological woman, would you make an attempt to present as male, and use your old name and pronouns, or would you change your name and pronouns and accept your new life?

I think it's kinda hard to answer this question as asked.  I mean, if tomorrow I woke up in some sort of Freaky Friday scenario with your sister, the last thing I'd be worried about would be my name and pronouns.  I'd be like "how did this happen?  Is it permanent?  Am I dreaming? Should I seek medical attention? Is there any way for me to make a lot of money from this?"

But I think the question you're getting at is whether I think I have a "male" brain such that I'd want to be a male no matter what body I was in, or if I have a "body matching" brain.  Even if that's the question I don't really have an answer.  I think I'd need to have some comparable experience to even venture a guess.

2)    Would you be a lesbian? Do you think dating women as a woman would be different from dating women as a man?

Yeah, I think I'd clearly be a lesbian if I stayed in the female body.  It would be different to date women as a woman but not necessarily worse I don't think.  

3)    Would you continue having primarily male friends? How would you feel about men you meet being sexually attracted to you? Do you think that would get in the way of your friendship?

I think I'd have friends of both genders like I do now.  If men were attracted to me I think that would generally be flattering but I wouldn't want to deal with a lot of the creeps so that part would suck.  Oh wait, are you asking whether I could still be friends with @scorchyor @plinkoor @Ramsay Hunt Experienceif they were sexually attracted to me?  I think we could handle it like adults and still be friends but that's only because I would be out of their league and they'd know they had no chance.

4)    Would you continue to dress the way you did previously, or would you consider wearing feminine clothes, or learning how to do makeup?

Again these questions are very difficult to answer because they all piggyback on the answer to question 1, which felt impossible.  But in the scenario where I decided to make a go of it as a girl, I think I'd probably learn enough about makeup and clothes so that I didn't embarrass myself. But I think I'd probably feel more comfortable with clothes more like what I was used to.

5)    To those of you with kids, would you be as willing to be a mother as you would be a father? Would you be willing to get pregnant, give birth, or breastfeed?

Yeah, I would do all that stuff.

 

[steeler6]

This is Peter, fatguy’s kid. A while ago when he made the thread about me, I thought about contributing something, but never got around to it. To establish some basic facts about me and the trans stuff:

1)    Being trans is not a big part of my life. There have been times I have genuinely forgotten that I wasn’t born male. There is exactly one person I have come out to since coming to college, a girl who I was romantically involved with, and other than her and the two kids from my high school nobody is aware I am not biologically male. My college roommate was not aware. I am currently in London taking some classes, and my roommate here is not aware. I’m sure some of you may be skeptical of that claim, but I can assure you that if we met on the street, you would instinctively address me with male terms. I have not been misgendered by a stranger in over a year.

2)    I do not claim to be an authority on trans people. I especially do not claim to be an authority on ‘what trans people want’ or ‘how trans people want to be treated’. I have little to no involvement with the ‘trans community’ and have never publicly discussed any of this before.

3)    Don’t worry about accidentally offending me. As long as you are trying to engage in good faith I do not care about the exact terminology you use. I have heard it all before, and I have many friends in college who have shared their unsavory views about trans people with me. It doesn’t ever upset me, generally it annoys me or lowers my opinion of the speaker – those are the stakes here.

I thought some about what exactly I wanted to say, and decided I’d like to ask some questions. These are directed towards straight men, not sure of the exact demographics of thread participants but seemed like a safe bet.

1)    If you tomorrow woke up as a biological woman, would you make an attempt to present as male, and use your old name and pronouns, or would you change your name and pronouns and accept your new life?

2)    Would you be a lesbian? Do you think dating women as a woman would be different from dating women as a man?

3)    Would you continue having primarily male friends? How would you feel about men you meet being sexually attracted to you? Do you think that would get in the way of your friendship?

4)    Would you continue to dress the way you did previously, or would you consider wearing feminine clothes, or learning how to do makeup?

5)    To those of you with kids, would you be as willing to be a mother as you would be a father? Would you be willing to get pregnant, give birth, or breastfeed?

The point of these questions is mostly to poke at how your life as a woman would be substantially different from your life as a man, even if almost none of your actions changed. Whether this is good or bad is another conversation, but it is certainly true, and something I feel isn't fully considered by most non-LGBT people. 

I wrote out some bullet points about how I feel about trans kids and trans athletes and some more about my experience, but I figured I’d rather have people ask questions. Because I’m stealth IRL I generally avoid conversations about this stuff to avoid seeming suspiciously knowledgeable or invested, but I have thought about it a lot. So ask whatever you want and I can try my best to give a genuine answer.   

I'm hitting from the red tees.

And welcome, it's going to be interesting and informative hearing about your experiences and views on such a polarizing topic. Expect this to be one of the more productive threads in the PSF.

 

[AAABatteries]

While I've seen his videos, those can be deceiving (or faked!) - is he really fat?

 

[AAABatteries]

1)    If you tomorrow woke up as a biological woman, would you make an attempt to present as male, and use your old name and pronouns, or would you change your name and pronouns and accept your new life?

2)    Would you be a lesbian? Do you think dating women as a woman would be different from dating women as a man?

3)    Would you continue having primarily male friends? How would you feel about men you meet being sexually attracted to you? Do you think that would get in the way of your friendship?

4)    Would you continue to dress the way you did previously, or would you consider wearing feminine clothes, or learning how to do makeup?

5)    To those of you with kids, would you be as willing to be a mother as you would be a father? Would you be willing to get pregnant, give birth, or breastfeed?

The point of these questions is mostly to poke at how your life as a woman would be substantially different from your life as a man, even if almost none of your actions changed. Whether this is good or bad is another conversation, but it is certainly true, and something I feel isn't fully considered by most non-LGBT people. 

I wrote out some bullet points about how I feel about trans kids and trans athletes and some more about my experience, but I figured I’d rather have people ask questions. Because I’m stealth IRL I generally avoid conversations about this stuff to avoid seeming suspiciously knowledgeable or invested, but I have thought about it a lot. So ask whatever you want and I can try my best to give a genuine answer.   

I need to think about the other questions but I know this one - absolutely!!!

 

[AAABatteries]

And @seltzercans- all kidding aside, I have four kids and just recently (very recently) my oldest child came out to me as bi-sexual.  I just want you to know how I immediately thought of you and your Dad and what an awesome role model I think he has been for many of us.  He's a wonderful human being and you should be proud of him.

 

[seltzercans]

While I've seen his videos, those can be deceiving (or faked!) - is he really fat?

Not fat. And his coats tend to fit him properly 

 

[seltzercans]

Yeah, I think I'd clearly be a lesbian if I stayed in the female body.  It would be different to date women as a woman but not necessarily worse I don't think.  

I would guess that if I suddenly morphed into a biological woman in appearance that it wouldn't really change my established sexual preference. 

I know this is a stupid hypothetical but I think the conviction here is interesting. I'm of the opinion that most people are inherently bisexual and those who exclusively pursue one sex (myself included) are subconsciously doing some form of political lesbianism - kind of the same way I feel about gender, it is something you learn to do much more than it is inherent. This doesn't mean I think your answers to the stupid hypothetical are incorrect or dishonest, it's possible you've 'learned gynophilia' so hard that you'd stick with it. 

 

[dozer]

This has the potential to be an amazing thread… thank you for contributing to our forum!

 

[The Z Machine]

Nice to meet you on these forums, Peter. Thank you for sharing your story and perspective with us. 

 

[parasaurolophus]

For #1 am i hot? 

 

[seltzercans]

For #1 am i hot? 

I guess equivalent to however you are now. 7/10 guy would become 7/10 girl etc. 

 

[The Z Machine]

1)    If you tomorrow woke up as a biological woman, would you make an attempt to present as male, and use your old name and pronouns, or would you change your name and pronouns and accept your new life?

2)    Would you be a lesbian? Do you think dating women as a woman would be different from dating women as a man?

3)    Would you continue having primarily male friends? How would you feel about men you meet being sexually attracted to you? Do you think that would get in the way of your friendship?

4)    Would you continue to dress the way you did previously, or would you consider wearing feminine clothes, or learning how to do makeup?

5)    To those of you with kids, would you be as willing to be a mother as you would be a father? Would you be willing to get pregnant, give birth, or breastfeed?

1 and 2) I think I'd change my name and pronouns and make a go of it as a lesbian woman.  I think the toughest parts would be the loss of my genitals and the menstruation, which seems not fun at all. 

3) I've had (gay) men attracted to me so i do have some experience with that sort of attention.  Although I'm sure it's nothing like the world experienced by women.  It didn't get in the way of my friendships.  I have chose friends of both genders although I'm sure those friendships would be different if I were a woman. 

4) I'd probably dress more fem than I do now and enjoy some of the freedom that women have in choosing the variety of their outfits.  Not sure if I'd go full girly or keep it more androgynous.  I had long hair up until about 2 hours ago, so i think I'd wear it long and edgy somehow. 

5) Yes to all this. I really wouldn't think twice about it.  Being a parent is being a parent.

Oh and your dad is a good dude.  Hopefully I see him at trivia on Thursday. 

 

[djmich]

I guess equivalent to however you are now. 7/10 guy would become 7/10 girl etc. 

So no

 

[Zow]

This is Peter, fatguy’s kid. A while ago when he made the thread about me, I thought about contributing something, but never got around to it. To establish some basic facts about me and the trans stuff:

Are you like your dad in that your name is misleading? For years I assumed he was actually fat and created a mental picture of him that was absolutely shattered when I saw a real picture. Put differently, is there really seltzer in your cans?

 

[Zow]

1)    If you tomorrow woke up as a biological woman, would you make an attempt to present as male, and use your old name and pronouns, or would you change your name and pronouns and accept your new life?

2)    Would you be a lesbian? Do you think dating women as a woman would be different from dating women as a man?

3)    Would you continue having primarily male friends? How would you feel about men you meet being sexually attracted to you? Do you think that would get in the way of your friendship?

4)    Would you continue to dress the way you did previously, or would you consider wearing feminine clothes, or learning how to do makeup?

5)    To those of you with kids, would you be as willing to be a mother as you would be a father? Would you be willing to get pregnant, give birth, or breastfeed?

1. Like your dad said, I'd probably freak out for at least a few days and try to find out what happened. Then I'd try to monetarily capitalize on the craziness.  Once that dust settled, I think I'd try to use my old names, pronouns, etc. 

2. I assume I'd still be attracted to women so, yes, I'd be by definition a lesbian. 

3. I would assume so. 

4. Genuinely unsure. Initial take is that I'd still dress masculine but I could see that changing. 

5. Unsure how to answer. I have 4 young kids now and don't plan on having/getting more.* I can't imagine my desire to parent them would be any less. 

*Your question here is uniquely challenging to me because my wife and I can't have kids and all of our kids are adopted. So the whole getting pregnant, breastfeeding thing is already a mystery to me.

 

[fatguyinalittlecoat]

Are you like your dad in that your name is misleading? For years I assumed he was actually fat and created a mental picture of him that was absolutely shattered when I saw a real picture. Put differently, is there really seltzer in your cans?

Stop hitting on my kid Woz.

 

[Gilroy34]

I don't understand how I could possibly wake up as a biological woman.

 

[fatguyinalittlecoat]

I don't understand how I could possibly wake up as a biological woman.

That’s why you’re the perfect target.

 

[Gilroy34]

That’s why you’re the perfect target.

For a sci-fi movie?

 

[Maurile Tremblay]

1)    If you tomorrow woke up as a biological woman, would you make an attempt to present as male, and use your old name and pronouns, or would you change your name and pronouns and accept your new life? 

Would everyone I know remember me as a biological male, or would they wake up remembering me as always having been a woman? If the latter, my best guess is that I'd choose the path of less resistance and just go along with presenting as female. I really don't think I'd want to spend my life correcting everybody about my pronouns. I believe I'd rather adopt "she" and "her" and get on with other things.

2)    Would you be a lesbian? Do you think dating women as a woman would be different from dating women as a man? 

I think this would depend entirely on whether I suddenly found myself attracted to men. I can't really imagine being attracted to men, but since this isn't my hypothetical, it's not for me to say whether my sexual preference would magically change the same way my genitalia did. I disagree with your speculation in a previous post that most people are inherently bisexual. I think some people are inherently bisexual, and those people will naturally project their flexibility onto others. But as best I can tell, some of us are really not bisexual at all. I don't feel like I have much control over whom I'm attracted to. If I could choose to be infatuated with conventionally unattractive people, for example, that would seem like a pretty good idea (because I'd face less competition for their affection). Alas, I don't know how to do that. Much less would I know how to intentionally dig men.

Regarding the second part of that question, I think dating women as a woman would be fun. There are various aspects of this thought experiment I'd prefer not to try out in real life, but that particular aspect seems intriguing, at least for the novelty.

3)    Would you continue having primarily male friends? How would you feel about men you meet being sexually attracted to you? Do you think that would get in the way of your friendship?

I'd like to think that my current friendships wouldn't be too affected.

I'm not really sure why the demographic characteristics of any new friends I made would be affected, either, come to think of it. (As things are, I wouldn't say, these days, that I primarily become friends with males, although that was true when I was younger.)

4)    Would you continue to dress the way you did previously, or would you consider wearing feminine clothes, or learning how to do makeup? 

I think makeup is dumb. I don't think I'd get very much into that. But as with pronouns, I'd probably wear clothes that people would expect me to wear. Except that high heels are even dumber than makeup, so they're out. But I'd wear women's underwear instead of men's underwear, and women's shirts instead of men's. I'd be happy about not ever being expected to wear a tie.

5)    To those of you with kids, would you be as willing to be a mother as you would be a father? Would you be willing to get pregnant, give birth, or breastfeed? 

I'm 52. I don't think I'd want to get pregnant at my age. If in addition to waking up female, I also woke up in my twenties, I might be willing to get pregnant and give birth under the right circumstances, but I think I'd prefer to do it by way of artificial insemination.

 

[GoBirds]

Your pops is good people, just bad taste in football teams. 
 

No real questions, just want you to be happy and if that’s the case I’m behind you . 

 

[krista4]

Hi Peter!  I'm not a straight male, in that I'm not a male, so I can't answer your questions.  I just wanted to welcome you here and say that you seem every bit as awesome as your dad, who's one of the best folks on this forum.  OK, who are we kidding?  You're probably awesome-r.  But he has really great hair, so might have you beat on that one.

Thank you for broaching this topic so openly and with positive intent.

@Maurile Tremblay or @Joe Bryant, this seems like the type of thread that would be wonderful in the regular FFA instead of being relegated to the PSF.  Any chance it could be moved there?

 

[The Z Machine]

I don't understand how I could possibly wake up as a biological woman.

That’s why you’re the perfect target

Yup. That's how they get ya.

 

[Maurile Tremblay]

@Maurile Tremblay or @Joe Bryant, this seems like the type of thread that would be wonderful in the regular FFA instead of being relegated to the PSF.  Any chance it could be moved there?

I'll leave that up to seltzercans. If he prefers that the thread stay here, that's perfectly fine. If he wants it moved, I will move it.

 

[psychobillies]

This is interesting.   Have we ever had any body's kids post in these forums?  

Probably so, but I can't think of any.  Either way, that's a pretty strong first post.

 

[krista4]

I'll leave that up to seltzercans. If he prefers that the thread stay here, that's perfectly fine. If he wants it moved, I will move it.

That makes sense - thanks.  Think it deserves a wider audience, but definitely should be up to him.

 

[rockaction]

Welcome, seltzercans. I appreciate your contribution and for stopping by our corner of the world. I also hope you get to live a truly free, happy life, one that doesn't have to be lived in stealth, though I can see why it might have to be. 

I don't think I could answer your questions because they're empirical and not deducted from mathematical or other axioms. They must be experienced to be considered fully. I hope that's not a cop-out; it's just a problem I see with the exercise you've presented. The question always comes down to "Are you sure that's how you'd feel?" and the answer is always "no, I'm not sure how I would feel." That's not to forego attempts at empathy, but it realizes the limitations within nature of certain empirical ways of being and knowing that depend on the physical and sensory self. 

My question to you would be how did you first know you were trans and what was your childhood and pubescence like due to it?

 

[KarmaPolice]

I guess equivalent to however you are now. 7/10 guy would become 7/10 girl etc. 

Dammit. 

 

[the moops]

@skinnygirloutsidealargetanktop username was taken?

Welcome peter. Good to have ya here

 

[seltzercans]

I'll leave that up to seltzercans. If he prefers that the thread stay here, that's perfectly fine. If he wants it moved, I will move it.

I'd say leave it here for now but not too familiar with the site conventions. 

 

[IvanKaramazov]

1)    If you tomorrow woke up as a biological woman, would you make an attempt to present as male, and use your old name and pronouns, or would you change your name and pronouns and accept your new life?

2)    Would you be a lesbian? Do you think dating women as a woman would be different from dating women as a man?

3)    Would you continue having primarily male friends? How would you feel about men you meet being sexually attracted to you? Do you think that would get in the way of your friendship?

4)    Would you continue to dress the way you did previously, or would you consider wearing feminine clothes, or learning how to do makeup?

5)    To those of you with kids, would you be as willing to be a mother as you would be a father? Would you be willing to get pregnant, give birth, or breastfeed?

Well, at least I didn't wake up as a giant cockroach, so I guess I've got that going for me. 

This is an interesting hypothetical, but it's hard to answer with any level of confidence.  One thing that makes LGB issues different in my mind from T issues is that it's extremely easy for me to imagine what it's like to be gay -- I just take my current attraction toward women and lack of attraction toward men and flip those around in my imagination.  Done.  TBH, I can't relate to the idea to being the wrong sex, if that's right way to put it.  

Overall, I guess my general attitude toward my body is something along the general lines of "it is what it is."  I'm tall and thin and average looking, but I don't think much about any of those things -- I've always been that way and there never seemed to be any point in worrying about it.  When my hair started to thin out in my 30s, I eventually just shrugged my shoulders and buzzed it all off because that seemed like the utilitarian thing to do.  I suppose my approach to "being male" is more or less the same.  It's just something I've never thought about and always just accepted, like how I have two arms.  

As I've gotten older, my body can't do the stuff that it used to do, like run 26.2 miles continuously and have it be even remotely pleasant.  That doesn't bother me that way it sometimes bothers other people.  "My marathoning days are probably over" is just empirical reality, and it would be kind of silly for me to feel bad about it.  Everybody gets old, unless you die young of course.  I can handle dealing with aging.  It's just a natural part of being embodied.  

So I suppose in this hypothetical, if I experienced a metamorphosis and woke up as a woman, I'd probably just be like "okay, I guess I'm a woman now."  I imagine I'd probably just roll with that.  Instead of being a middle-aged guy who dresses like a middle-aged dad, I'd be a middle-aged gal who orders her clothes from the other section of the LL Bean catalog.  But really that's just a guess and I'm not too terribly confident about it.  Getting to the particular questions you asked:

1) I think I'd just embrace being a woman.

2) If my mind is the same and only my body has changed, I guess I'm now a lesbian.  That's because I think of my sexual orientation as being in my head and my sex as being in my body.  So for the purposes of this hypothetical, I'm assuming that I'm still attracted to women.  That seems like a different issue though.

3) I have male and female friends currently.  I don't have a friend group that anybody would refer to as "the boys" where we go off and do manly things together.  So I don't think anything would change here.  I doubt any of my female friends are attracted to me now, so I don't expect my male friends to be attracted to Ivanka.

4) Hello mom jeans.

5) Sure.  Women seem to be at least as interested in parenthood as men, so if I was looking forward to being a dad, it stands to reason that I would also look forward to being a mom if I were in that position.    

 

[the moops]

I'm tall and thin and average looking, but I don't think much about any of those things -- I've always been that way and there never seemed to be any point in worrying about it.  When my hair started to thin out in my 30s, I eventually just shrugged my shoulders and buzzed it all off because that seemed like the utilitarian thing to do. 

Not sure what I pictured for you, but it wasn't tall/thin/bald 

 

[KarmaPolice]

I am still thinking about questions posted, as I think they are a good way of probing our thoughts on the issue.  Mostly I'm just annoyed that I am waking up still a chubby, old, hairy person in your scenario.   

Anyway, I had a couple initial questions:

1.  How early did you have thoughts that you were trans, when did you 100% "know", and what were the thoughts and feelings that you had as you were growing up and looking at yourself? 

2.  I am not sure why, but when your pops has talked about you, one of the more interesting things to me for whatever reason is your lack of involvement in the trans community.   I as wondering - was that and does it remain a conscious choice?   Was it a function of not having a network of that nature where you grew up, did you not like people in the local group, didn't want the additional attention? 

 

[IvanKaramazov]

Not sure what I pictured for you, but it wasn't tall/thin/bald 

Short, fat, and hairy?  We're getting dangerously close to Ron Jeremy territory here.