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Forgiving People - When, How, Why? (1 Viewer)

Joe Bryant

Guide
Staff member
This article about Louis CK made me think today about forgiveness. 

The gist of the article is basically that Louis CK is back on tour and is twisting things to make himself the victim. That he lost $35 million in an hour and has been to hell and such. 

Here's the article but I'm thinking it's less about famous people and more about people we know.

Louis C.K. Doesn't Deserve Our Sympathy

Louis C.K.'s attempt at a comeback is in full swing. After making a handful of appearances throughout the last few months, the disgraced comedian did a set at the West Side Comedy Club in New York recently where he finally addressed what has happened in the last year since he admitted to instances of sexual misconduct described by five women.

C.K. reportedly told the audience that it's been a "weird year" where he's "been to Hell and back" and at one point joked that he "lost $35 million in an hour."

"He didn't specifically address what he did, but he did seem to admit to doing wrong and it was clear that he's just trying to figure out his life. He talked about his life over the past year and acknowledged how it's been tough for him," comic AMarie Castillo, who introduced C.K., told The Hollywood Reporter. "And he spoke about how weird it's been. He talked about how everything, what happened to him in public, has affected his family. He spoke about losing lots of money because of everything."

Castillo said the club owners checked with her to make sure she was comfortable with introducing him. She added that she was honored.

As for the set, she said, "People loved it. They were clapping. People were thrilled to see him back and they were very vocal about that."
I think it's a good question. 

With a couple of ways to go.

One is famous people. Like Louis CK. Or Al Franken. Or Harvey Weinstein. Or further back, guys like Michael Vick. 

The other is with people we know. I have a good friend (nobody connected to FBG) who cheated on his wife, also a good friend of mine. You unfortunately likely have a friend like that too. Maybe it's even you. 

Not too long ago, I had a business situation where I was very much wronged. You may have as well. 

What do you do in those situations?

What is enabling?

What is "turning the other cheek" (churchspeak for the Christians ;)  )

What is being a doormat?

What is retribution?

What is vengeance?

I don't think there are necessarily right and wrong answers. Certainly not easy answers. But I think the question of how and when and how we forgive is important. And relevant. 

Throwing it out. 

And please, I know this is sensitive and close to home for people. Please save the witty stuff for another thread. 

 
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bigmarc27

Footballguy
As a Falcons fan, F Mike Vick. 

I hope he can can do some good for others, but I will not forgive his actions. 

 

Jayrod

Footballguy
As an individual, I know I am supposed to forgive anyone and everyone, completely and permanently (according to my faith).  As a human, I still have a hard time letting go and getting over things, but I'm probably more forgiving than most.

As for celebrities, I'm very forgiving to people who have not done anything to me directly.  I don't know all of the nuances that lead to their actions and I can't really blame people considering I mess up things all the time.

Personally, there has really only been one person in my life I have had trouble forgiving and if it ever came to it, I'm sure I would tell him I forgive him.  Never had any other serious offense for me to be upset about really.

The person I have the hardest time forgiving is myself.  If I think there is no excuse for me to make a mistake, I am very hard on myself.  That has caused me more problems that any amount of unforgiveness for anyone else.

 

roadkill1292

Footballguy
Yeah, I generally give second chances, too, especially if the miscreant came forward on his own and came clean. If I have to find out about a misdeed the hard way, because you tried to keep it from me, that's another story.

Late, far too late, in life I'm learning how much pain I've caused just through thoughtlessness, because I got excited about something and failed to take into consideration another's feelings in the process. It's only lots of "think time" that has even dredged some of those memories up where I've become aware of what I might have done. I think at least some of my retirement is going to be spent issuing long overdue apologies and I hope that a few of those wronged people will understand.

 

Juxtatarot

Infidel
I could watch a Louis C.K. special and laugh but still think what he did was wrong.   There seems to be this idea that forgiveness and boycotting have to go hand-in-hand.  I don't see things that way.  

 

fantasycurse42

Footballguy Jr.
I had an argument with my brother about 12 years ago, can't remember what it was about - all I remember is I was right and we haven't spoken since. I consider myself a reasonable and forgiving person. 

 

Nathan R. Jessep

That Hug Life
I forgive people who are contrite and apologetic.  Just about everyone gets a second chance with me but I expect them to change their ways.  People who double down and continue to be bad people are dead to me.
This is where I tend to be as well.  If someone, after something particularly egregious or after multiple offenses of shadiness with me, comes to me apologetically, I will likely accept their apology and technically forgive them; However,  we won't be back to a  place where we were in our relationship prior to when the offenses took place. Forgive, but don't forget.  Once the seed of doubt has been planted, it's hard to kill it. 

 

Gr00vus

Footballguy
This is where I tend to be as well.  If someone, after something particularly egregious or after multiple offenses of shadiness with me, comes to me apologetically, I will likely accept their apology and technically forgive them; However,  we won't be back to a  place where we were in our relationship prior to when the offenses took place. Forgive, but don't forget.  Once the seed of doubt has been planted, it's hard to kill it. 
:goodposting:

Infidelity in particular has always been this way for me. Its a deal breaker - no coming back from that one. I may forgive it, but I won't forget it, and I definitely will not continue a relationship with someone who has been unfaithful to me.

 

Bob Sacamano

Marc Levin groupie
It's not our place to forgive him.  That's for anyone he wronged.  Just like the cheating spouse or the business associate who wronged you.  You have to decide how and when to forgive and move on.  The problem for most of us is that holding onto it doesn't hurt the people we're angry with.  It just continues to cause us pain and anger.  So, effectively, you're allowing the person who wronged you to continue wronging you.  There are rarely consequences to them from your anger or lack of forgiveness.  Forgiveness is in your own self-interest more than theirs.

A little different, of course, for public figures like CK.  If people feel they have to judge and punish him forever, there are financial implications to that.  My general feeling in that regard is that individuals are pretty forgiving, but groups of people are not.  We're pretty judgmental.  So when I might feel like I'm OK with moving on from something, the judgment and scorn of others might prevent it.  But I think most of these things vary by how much people can relate to the transgression or the victim.  Dog lovers are probably less likely to accept Vick.  Victims of sexual assault less likely to accept CK.  Doesn't mean we have to hate on people who are willing to do so.  But we will.  People are generally pretty stupid.  

 

The General

Footballguy
Didn’t necessarily get the vibe that he is playing the victim from that. It is true that he lost millions. I’m sure he feels that he’s been through a lot. 

He was guilty of being a creepy weird guy. If people still want to pay to see him then he should be allowed to work again. If people want to protest or not give them his money, or money to places that he does his act at that’s all fair too.

 

IC FBGCav

Footballguy
I think this is more for people you know on a personal level.  But if they did bad things and really changed.  Then accept the apology.  I have not dealt with this personally but I can see this with parents and kids or siblings.

 

belljr

Footballguy
I could watch a Louis C.K. special and laugh but still think what he did was wrong.   There seems to be this idea that forgiveness and boycotting have to go hand-in-hand.  I don't see things that way.  
This is about where I am. I can not like the person but enjoy their work.  Obviously, there are levels of tolerance I have where I won't separate the entertainment from the scumbag person but overall with celebs i usually can.

But with people on a personal level I hold grudges like an insane person

 

Insein

Footballguy
I had an argument with my brother about 12 years ago, can't remember what it was about - all I remember is I was right and we haven't spoken since. I consider myself a reasonable and forgiving person. 
It was over who was the better dynasty prospect; Vince Young or Frank Gore. You chose Young.

 

SWC

Bromigo
This is where I tend to be as well.  If someone, after something particularly egregious or after multiple offenses of shadiness with me, comes to me apologetically, I will likely accept their apology and technically forgive them; However,  we won't be back to a  place where we were in our relationship prior to when the offenses took place. Forgive, but don't forget.  Once the seed of doubt has been planted, it's hard to kill it. 
me too colonol when someone does something really wrong to me which has happened a few times i will forgive them but i normally distance myself from them in the future and a wall goes up where we can be ok in a room or group but never close and what is funny is when someone does something like that i find it drives me closer to my family and those i love and makes me apprecaite them more and want to be a better brohan for them and i always sort of try to keep that in mind that when one door closes sometimes it opens another one open even more take that to the bank brohans 

 

Dedfin

Footballguy
I've read that you forgiving a person is for you, not for them. That sounds great, but I'm perfectly fine not forgiving people. I don't carry grudges, I just move on. I don't ask for forgiveness  either. An ounce of prevention beats a pound of cure, so don't be a poopbag and no one will need to forgive you for anything. ?

 

jonessed

Footballguy
I’ve forgiven people for wrongs they can’t or won’t fully accept.  I think it depends on the depth of the relationship and perhaps other aspects of their character that may make up for it.

Forgiveness is incredibly personal.  I probably forgive too easily, but holding onto anger, resentment,  jealousy, etc. can eat at your soul.  Too much and there’s no room for the things that make me happy.

 

rockaction

Footballguy
I think the only story about forgiveness I have worth sharing is a bit more than I want to, frankly, and forgiveness in the abstract vs. forgiveness in the actual is a lot better wrapped in Christianity, as Jayrod touched upon upthread. Otherwise, it becomes a tougher issue. 

Really, 

I'm not trying to be witty when admitting I'll never forgive her, and she'll never forgive me. Not for all the pain she caused to me, nor I her. I wish I could follow Jayrod's advice or example, but it's too hard. We haven't talked in twenty-two years, and likely won't, ever. 

:insert emo song here:    

Bob Sacamano's quote was all-time here. Just a nice piece.  

 

Nathan R. Jessep

That Hug Life
I’ve forgiven people for wrongs they can’t or won’t fully accept.  I think it depends on the depth of the relationship and perhaps other aspects of their character that may make up for it.

Forgiveness is incredibly personal.  I probably forgive too easily, but holding onto anger, resentment,  jealousy, etc. can eat at your soul.  Too much and there’s no room for the things that make me happy.
Yep. And sometimes you have to accept an apology that you never got and never will. Sometimes you have to do that for yourself. 

 

Judge Smails

Footballguy
I forgave my Dad for disappearing when I was 8 (didn't see him again until I was 21).  I didn't forgive a former co-owner of a company who didn't keep any of his windfall sharing promises when we sold.  I just moved on but he was really dead to me at that point.  I'm mostly empathetic as I'm not walking in the other person's shoes.  Everyone has a story.  That being said I have a hard time forgiving rapists, child molesters and "men" that beat their girlfriends/wives.

 I think if my wife cheated on me I'd ultimately forgive her but that doesn't mean I'd stay married to her.  

 

Doctor Detroit

Please remove your headgear
People you're close to, whether at home (family) or at work, you sometimes have to forgive just to make your life less difficult.  Doesn't mean you have to apply the same level of trust going forward, and I'm always skeptical, but I'm also not someone who opens up the vault for people.

As far as acquaintances, I'll give second chances.  If you go out of your way to #### with me on the reg however, I'll just cut you off.  I don't need the drama, and I've been that way since I was a kid.  Keep tight circles, be genuine to those you are close to, and it almost always works out. 

 

Stuart Ullman

Footballguy
I think it depends on the total amount of damage done. There are certain lines that are crossed that you can't come back from, it's very subjective.

If you break a mirror. The mirror is broken. It cannot be fixed. This is how I view relationships.

You have to understand the mindset. A mistake and calculated decision are two different things. In the heat of the moment, mistakes can be made. But when someone does something that required extensive thought and malicious intent, that is separate altogether. It also could reveal a pattern of behavior.

Ultimately, you have to decide where you stand with this person. If you can truly forgive and go back to how things were before, then do it. There's nothing worse than forgiving someone and not being able to move past the event that you were supposed to forgive in the first place.

Vengeance has its place in life. Not necessarily to loved ones, as you don't mind fences with spite. But for co-workers, distant relatives, peers, strangers, etc there's nothing wrong with a little social justice.

I'm a very kind hearted person. When someone attempts or does something to slight me, I will get them back. In my heart, I know I have done nothing to deserve what they've done and if my actions can prevent them from doing to others what they've just done to me, it's worth it.

But as far as personal relationships, you have to let go. Whether that means forgive and forget or never talk to them again. If you love that person (even platonically), you let go and give that piece of your heart to another human being who will treat it correctly.

 
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AAABatteries

Footballguy
As I’ve gotten older I’ve found that forgiving others and asking for forgiveness for things I do wrong are very good for my overall mental health and well being.  Too many people can’t let things go and too many people can’t admit when they make mistakes or are wrong.  I find it kind of liberating really.

 
There is an expression, forgive and forget.  I have often wondered if one can forgive if they cannot forget.  If you remember the trespass or transgression, and are in some way mindful of it, have you truly forgiven.  First trusting innocence, once lost, can it be regained?

Me, I'm still a work in progress on all of this.  I do know this, I need forgiveness for my unmindful behavior probably much more often than for my deliberate cruelties and trespasses as those are few but the former, many.

 
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Joe Bryant

Guide
Staff member
I forgive people who are contrite and apologetic.  Just about everyone gets a second chance with me but I expect them to change their ways.  People who double down and continue to be bad people are dead to me.
I wonder if this isn't maybe the most important aspect of a person being able to forgive another. 

 

Da Guru

Fair & Balanced
I had one of my best friends screw me over in a business deal 20 years ago. I lost around 30K and at that time my kids were babies and that a big loss for me and my family.  I had known this guy since first grade and it was not about losing the money because there is always that risk but it was about the back door deals he did to assure his investment was safe.  Ducking me and my phone calls for 6 months during the process.Too many details to get into but he was a snake!  Needless to say I wanted nothing to do with him after that. In fact he would not show to events he knew I would be at  since.  Talking reunions, golf outings, parties with old friends, things like that.

So last year he writes me this long letter on how much he missed me and how much he missed seeing my family grow up and he wants to patch things up. My wife keeps saying why don`t you forgive him and give it a chance..so far I just can`t because he destroyed the emotional bond I had with him.    Am I wrong here?

 
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Nathan R. Jessep

That Hug Life
I had one of my best friends screw me over in a business deal 20 years ago. I lost around 30K and at that time my kids were babies and that a big loss for me and my family.  I had known this guy since first grade and it was not about losing the money because there is always that risk but it was about the back door deals he did to assure his investment was safe.  Too many details to get into but he was a snake!  Needless to say I wanted nothing to do with him after that.

So last year he writes me this long letter on how much he missed me and how much he missed seeing my family grow up and he wants to patch things up. My wife keeps saying why don`t you forgive him and give it a chance..so far I just can`t because he destroyed the emotional bond I had with him.    Am I wrong here?
I'd have a tough time with that one too. Honestly don't know what I would do.  The thing is, I'd ALWAYS wonder if he was being sincere in his apology.  I'm sure the guilt was eating at him, and he probably wrote you as much for himself as he did for you. 

 
I had one of my best friends screw me over in a business deal 20 years ago. I lost around 30K and at that time my kids were babies and that a big loss for me and my family.  I had known this guy since first grade and it was not about losing the money because there is always that risk but it was about the back door deals he did to assure his investment was safe.  Ducking me and my phone calls for 6 months during the process.Too many details to get into but he was a snake!  Needless to say I wanted nothing to do with him after that. In fact he would not show to events he knew I would be at  since.  Talking reunions, golf outings, parties with old friends, things like that.

So last year he writes me this long letter on how much he missed me and how much he missed seeing my family grow up and he wants to patch things up. My wife keeps saying why don`t you forgive him and give it a chance..so far I just can`t because he destroyed the emotional bond I had with him.    Am I wrong here?
If he wants to apologize he should start with the 30K, plus interest.  Then an acknowledgement that this is insufficient compensation for the opportunities your family was deprived of, and perhaps to the damage to your business model.

I am not certain that contrition includes penance, but it does include restitution. 

 

Bob Sacamano

Marc Levin groupie
I had one of my best friends screw me over in a business deal 20 years ago. I lost around 30K and at that time my kids were babies and that a big loss for me and my family.  I had known this guy since first grade and it was not about losing the money because there is always that risk but it was about the back door deals he did to assure his investment was safe.  Ducking me and my phone calls for 6 months during the process.Too many details to get into but he was a snake!  Needless to say I wanted nothing to do with him after that. In fact he would not show to events he knew I would be at  since.  Talking reunions, golf outings, parties with old friends, things like that.

So last year he writes me this long letter on how much he missed me and how much he missed seeing my family grow up and he wants to patch things up. My wife keeps saying why don`t you forgive him and give it a chance..so far I just can`t because he destroyed the emotional bond I had with him.    Am I wrong here?
You're not wrong.  You feel how you feel.  If you give it a chance and decide you can't, have you lost anything additional?

 

Joe Bryant

Guide
Staff member
Da Guru said:
I had one of my best friends screw me over in a business deal 20 years ago. I lost around 30K and at that time my kids were babies and that a big loss for me and my family.  I had known this guy since first grade and it was not about losing the money because there is always that risk but it was about the back door deals he did to assure his investment was safe.  Ducking me and my phone calls for 6 months during the process.Too many details to get into but he was a snake!  Needless to say I wanted nothing to do with him after that. In fact he would not show to events he knew I would be at  since.  Talking reunions, golf outings, parties with old friends, things like that.

So last year he writes me this long letter on how much he missed me and how much he missed seeing my family grow up and he wants to patch things up. My wife keeps saying why don`t you forgive him and give it a chance..so far I just can`t because he destroyed the emotional bond I had with him.    Am I wrong here?
Would it mean doing business with him or just him being friends?

Is he someone you'd like to be friends with?

If it's just friends and he's someone you'd like to be friends with, I'd do all I could to patch it up. See what that means. I'd think that would include the money he owed you. I personally wouldn't get into interest and making it like a legal settlement. 

If it were me, I'd maybe say, "I feel like you owed me _________ dollars. Are you willing to make that right? If so, I'd open the conversation. Lots of good can come from forgiveness in my opinion. 

 

Joe Bryant

Guide
Staff member
Another instance where I've been on the other side.

I made a mistake 20 years ago getting started in Fantasy Football reporting a news story and not noting the source. 

I realize now I should have noted a correction on our site but I didn't. The person was understandably upset. I apologized. They wouldn't talk to me.

Over the years, I've tried to open the discussion several times apologizing again and asking for forgiveness. No luck each time.

It's not a big deal to me now as I feel I've done all I can do. I just feel kind of sad for the person that they're hanging onto something for 20 years like that. 

 

Da Guru

Fair & Balanced
Would it mean doing business with him or just him being friends?

Is he someone you'd like to be friends with?

If it's just friends and he's someone you'd like to be friends with, I'd do all I could to patch it up. See what that means. I'd think that would include the money he owed you. I personally wouldn't get into interest and making it like a legal settlement. 

If it were me, I'd maybe say, "I feel like you owed me _________ dollars. Are you willing to make that right? If so, I'd open the conversation. Lots of good can come from forgiveness in my opinion. 
Never business and I doubt he would even go there.  There are times I do miss him as we had such history but I felt betrayed and abandoned when he ducked me during the process. What bothers me is this was not a deal I felt totally comfortable  to begin with but I trusted him immensely at that time.

My feeling all along is that he is the one who should have said whenever "Hey..I messed up and was in a jam..I want to try and make this right."   Actually that is what should have happened from day one. We have been at a couple of functions at the same time since and it has been very awkward as I know I have been icy.

The money has been gone for so long it does not matter, but my emotional feeling towards him is totally gone now as well and not sure I can get that back. Right now if he walked up to me and handed me 30K  still not sure it would  make me feel any different about him. 

 
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Judge Smails

Footballguy
Never business and I doubt he would even go there.  There are times I do miss him as we had such history but I felt betrayed and abandoned when he ducked me during the process. What bothers me is this was not a deal I felt totally comfortable  to begin with but I trusted him immensely at that time.

My feeling all along is that he is the one who should have said whenever "Hey..I messed up and was in a jam..I want to try and make this right."   Actually that is what should have happened from day one. We have been at a couple of functions at the dame time and it has been very awkward as I know I have been icy.

The money has been gone for so long it does not matter, but my emotional feeling towards him is totally gone now as well and not sure I can get that back. Right now if he walked up to me and handed me 30K  still not sure it would  make me feel any different about him. 
If he reached out that maybe you can just say I appreciate you reaching out but based on what happened I'm not at a point to reinvest in a relationship with you at this time.  

 

Da Guru

Fair & Balanced
This article about Louis CK made me think today about forgiveness. 

The gist of the article is basically that Louis CK is back on tour and is twisting things to make himself the victim. That he lost $35 million in an hour and has been to hell and such. 

Here's the article but I'm thinking it's less about famous people and more about people we know.

I think it's a good question. 

With a couple of ways to go.

One is famous people. Like Louis CK. Or Al Franken. Or Harvey Weinstein. Or further back, guys like Michael Vick. 

The other is with people we know. I have a good friend (nobody connected to FBG) who cheated on his wife,

And please, I know this is sensitive and close to home for people. Please save the witty stuff for another thread. 
 Well I have a friend who cheated and was caught 2 times in the early days his marriage. I am talking the first couple of years but it was not a secret to anyone.

His wife was lovely kind lady who was raised Catholic and did not want a divorce. They had 3 young kids and separated then got back together and worked things out.   The guy was a great dad and seemed to have made amends with his wife and was a great husband early and they were married 25 years. I say were because she was found to have an aggressive form of cancer and passed away 3 months ago.   The funeral was huge and the wake after was at a bar and was jammed.

At least 5 times at the wake I heard from different people..(All women)  Well I guess Marc can screw around all he wants to now. So  do people really forgive or forget?

 

Joe Bryant

Guide
Staff member
 Well I have a friend who cheated and was caught 2 times in the early days his marriage. I am talking the first couple of years but it was not a secret to anyone.

His wife was lovely kind lady who was raised Catholic and did not want a divorce. They had 3 young kids and separated then got back together and worked things out.   The guy was a great dad and seemed to have made amends with his wife and was a great husband early and they were married 25 years. I say were because she was found to have an aggressive form of cancer and passed away 3 months ago.   The funeral was huge and the wake after was at a bar and was jammed.

At least 5 times at the wake I heard from different people..(All women)  Well I guess Marc can screw around all he wants to now. So  do people really forgive or forget?
I don't know about forgive and forget. I think you can forgive and still remember. People are human. 

 

bigmarc27

Footballguy
Of all the examples listed, this is a weird one to pick out.
It’s one that hit me hard. I live in ATL and have worked with dog rescues.  There’s a prevailing sentiment for years from Vick defenders that “they were just dogs.”  I’ve heard “they were just dogs” way more times than I care to admit on the radio and various other outlets. It sickens me that the lesson learned by many is that animals aren’t important.

 

CurlyNight

Footballguy
I mostly forgive my uncle who multiple times under my parents roof while living with us molested me. It's harder to do when years later you think he's changed and has a gf now, being drugged and more one more time.

Fam who I told including mom didn't believe me back in 94 when my therapist encouraged me to tell my mom. Well so much for that. Buried it by staying away from him and his fam and in 2014 coupled with some other fam ####, I cut them all off except pop and bro. This is all mom's fam. Email, text ok. Mom got stage 0 bc and when mooshy my guinea pig was killed and my uncle died, kind of buried the hatchet. So she visits her fam a couple times a year for 2 weeks each so she comes her with my cool aunt or bro a couple times each trip.

Anger is gone. I think I forgive but my needing to stay away may mean I really don't.  But forget, never!

 
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JuniorGong

Footballguy
Never business and I doubt he would even go there.  There are times I do miss him as we had such history but I felt betrayed and abandoned when he ducked me during the process. What bothers me is this was not a deal I felt totally comfortable  to begin with but I trusted him immensely at that time.

My feeling all along is that he is the one who should have said whenever "Hey..I messed up and was in a jam..I want to try and make this right."   Actually that is what should have happened from day one. We have been at a couple of functions at the same time since and it has been very awkward as I know I have been icy.

The money has been gone for so long it does not matter, but my emotional feeling towards him is totally gone now as well and not sure I can get that back. Right now if he walked up to me and handed me 30K  still not sure it would  make me feel any different about him. 
Dude should have included a check for the 30 large along with his heartfelt note. I’m sure he does have regret but not sure why you would want to have him back in your life. My priest Virginia wouldn’t like that answer but I wouldn’t let him back in my life.

You find out who you true friends are when things go bad in your life. A sickness in the family, you lose your job or your woman. Put your efforts into those people. You might have thought his guy was one of those but he proved that he wasn’t.

I used to live in San Francisco and I made a ton of friends quickly but I knew they were goodtime friends and it was all on a surface level. If I needed help burying a body at 2am, they ain’t taking the call. The delinquents I grew up with outside of Boston I still keep in touch with, they would take that call and probably have some good suggestions on where to bury them. Focus your time and efforts on your bury the body friends.

 

Uruk-Hai

Footballguy
I don't know about forgive and forget. I think you can forgive and still remember. People are human. 
This is where I am.

Someone upthread said how, when you get older, you kind of figure out that holding a big-time, active grudge just isn't worth it - you turn into a bitter, crusty old #######. Who are you really hurting?

I'm in my mid-50s and I've had a bunch of stuff happen to me the last several years that made me take a really hard look at myself. Some of the stuff we carry around for years/decades is not really worth the sweat. You don't realize how much it cripples you until you let it go, man.

And I'm pretty sure that I've done as much wrong to others - #### I thought wasn't any big deal, but the offended probably did (because isn't that how we think of it from our own perspective?) - as has ever been done to me. 

 

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