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Fred and Greg's thread (4 Viewers)

When I was maybe 7 or 8, sparklers were the big thing. Colored sparklers was super fancy. Spinning circles gets old soon, let's try two. Big brother tops that and lights three at one time! Whoa! That was epic.

I wonder what 8 would look like?

I missed the second half of Pee Wee Ball season that summer as my throwing hand was bandaged up for a few weeks. Still have that the scar in the web between by opposable thumb and index finger (the burns were continuous from fingertip to fingertip, but IIRC it welded into the web.) Nasty stupid 'lil accident but sheesh I had like 50 stitches in grade school. Par for the course. Boys will be boys.

Ya wanna know what's even stupider? I did. the same. damn. thing. the next year. I #### you not. 

 
When I was maybe 7 or 8, sparklers were the big thing. Colored sparklers was super fancy. Spinning circles gets old soon, let's try two. Big brother tops that and lights three at one time! Whoa! That was epic.

I wonder what 8 would look like?

I missed the second half of Pee Wee Ball season that summer as my throwing hand was bandaged up for a few weeks. Still have that the scar in the web between by opposable thumb and index finger (the burns were continuous from fingertip to fingertip, but IIRC it welded into the web.) Nasty stupid 'lil accident but sheesh I had like 50 stitches in grade school. Par for the course. Boys will be boys.

Ya wanna know what's even stupider? I did. the same. damn. thing. the next year. I #### you not. 


How though? You light the end and hold it up…. When you combine 8+ do they just ignite- as in the entire portion of each stick goes off at once? 

 
How though? You light the end and hold it up…. When you combine 8+ do they just ignite- as in the entire portion of each stick goes off at once? 
they burn normal speed. just a little more spectacularly.

I believe the sequence was:

  • wow! look at the size of that fireball
  • heat transfers down the length of the sparkler to the end being held
  • hand involuntarily opens to release the now too-hot-to-handle sparklers
  • half or more of the sparklers fall onto the skin of the hand which was previously holding the sparklers
  • some of the sparklers become welded together.....which is kind of twice as nice when it comes to insta-blisters
probably a few details I've blocked out? I do distinctly remember a conversation at an extended family BBQ a few weeks later.

Favorite Uncle: you did what?

wait, didn't you do that last year, too?

IIRC the gauze bandages came off every day or every other day to apply balm/ointment. everything about it was painful. and embarrassing. but quite hilarious to think about today. like seriously WTF man?

I like the cut of this guy's jib - 10,000 sparklers at the same time

 
oh what might have been….

went to the beach on the 4th with three other couples. they had 5 kids ages 2-6, we’re newlyweds. at one point one of the moms buried her oldest (4.5 years old) in the sand up to his neck.

I took about 8 photos - here’s the last one

literally a half second after I put my phone away his little brother (16 months younger so ya know he’s always getting pounded) runs up, plants his left leg, and sweeps a blast of sand into his big brothers face

nailed it - right in the eyes

chaos ensues, I run over to grab a bottle of water and we start pouring water down his forehead and gently flushing his eyes

(as I’m rushing over I catch the culprit sulking away with a little smirk on his face)

it’s like the little f***er did the math and realized “it might be years before I get another chance this good.

we get him cleaned up & he’s furious; no words guttural scream at his lil’ bro now a good 20 feet away

I look over and their dad (movie producer) has his back turned, trying to choke down a swig of beer without completely losing it in a spit take 

I slide up next to him

”dude he’s gotta apologize”

I know, as soon as I’m sure I won’t laugh halfway through 

little guy comes over of his own volition and says he’s sorry, they hug it out

his dad whispers

”I can’t even be mad. he’s been getting dominated for years.”

:lmao:

ETA: imagine if I’d gotten that whole sequence on video. sucker would have gone viral.

 
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