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Funny things your kid has said (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter Sack-Religious.
- Start date
Early_10
footballgoddess
2 yr old loves having his ears cleaned. His eyes roll up in his head and he almost falls asleep. Everytime he gets out of the bath he says "mommy, clean my ears!" I say okay and reach for the package of Q-tips. 2 yr old says "I'll get the two-tips." I let him take them out of the box while telling him "they're Q-tips, not TWO-tips."
5 yr old says "Mom, that doesn't even make sense. Show me the Q.
"
Come to think of it, two-tip makes more sense.
5 yr old says "Mom, that doesn't even make sense. Show me the Q.
"Come to think of it, two-tip makes more sense.
Shutterbug
Try Not To Stare
That does make more sense. From now on I will be calling them two-tips.2 yr old loves having his ears cleaned. His eyes roll up in his head and he almost falls asleep. Everytime he gets out of the bath he says "mommy, clean my ears!" I say okay and reach for the package of Q-tips. 2 yr old says "I'll get the two-tips." I let him take them out of the box while telling him "they're Q-tips, not TWO-tips." 5 yr old says "Mom, that doesn't even make sense. Show me the Q."Come to think of it, two-tip makes more sense.
Shutterbug
Try Not To Stare
daughter: Yesterday Mya and I weren't friends, because we got in an argument. We are friends today, though, because we made up.
me: That is crazy, bug.
(interrupted by son) Mom, she is suppose to be crazy. She is a girl.
McKayla & mom:
son:
me: That is crazy, bug.
(interrupted by son) Mom, she is suppose to be crazy. She is a girl.
McKayla & mom:
son:
Nathan R. Jessep
Footballguy
daughter: Yesterday Mya and I weren't friends, because we got in an argument. We are friends today, though, because we made up.me: That is crazy, bug.(interrupted by son) Mom, she is suppose to be crazy. She is a girl. McKayla & mom:
the force is strong with this one
Mrs. BSR
Footballguy
Are you sure he hasn't been checking out FBG lately?daughter: Yesterday Mya and I weren't friends, because we got in an argument. We are friends today, though, because we made up.me: That is crazy, bug.(interrupted by son) Mom, she is suppose to be crazy. She is a girl. McKayla & mom:
Shutterbug
Try Not To Stare
When he wasdaughter: Yesterday Mya and I weren't friends, because we got in an argument. We are friends today, though, because we made up.me: That is crazy, bug.(interrupted by son) Mom, she is suppose to be crazy. She is a girl. McKayla & mom:son:
he should have been 
.
Shutterbug
Try Not To Stare
I think it is mancode.Are you sure he hasn't been checking out FBG lately?daughter: Yesterday Mya and I weren't friends, because we got in an argument. We are friends today, though, because we made up.me: That is crazy, bug.(interrupted by son) Mom, she is suppose to be crazy. She is a girl. McKayla & mom:
McJose
Footballguy
You'd punish your kid for being right?When he wasdaughter: Yesterday Mya and I weren't friends, because we got in an argument. We are friends today, though, because we made up.me: That is crazy, bug.(interrupted by son) Mom, she is suppose to be crazy. She is a girl. McKayla & mom:
Shutterbug
Try Not To Stare
I did not punish him.You'd punish your kid for being right?When he wasdaughter: Yesterday Mya and I weren't friends, because we got in an argument. We are friends today, though, because we made up.me: That is crazy, bug.(interrupted by son) Mom, she is suppose to be crazy. She is a girl. McKayla & mom:
McJose
Footballguy
McKennley = book smartOl Trev = worldlyI did not punish him.You'd punish your kid for being right?When he wasdaughter: Yesterday Mya and I weren't friends, because we got in an argument. We are friends today, though, because we made up.me: That is crazy, bug.(interrupted by son) Mom, she is suppose to be crazy. She is a girl. McKayla & mom:
Bob Sacamano
Footballguy
A $2 whore = worldlyTrev = wise beyond his yearsMcKennley = book smartOl Trev = worldlyI did not punish him.You'd punish your kid for being right?When he wasdaughter: Yesterday Mya and I weren't friends, because we got in an argument. We are friends today, though, because we made up.me: That is crazy, bug.(interrupted by son) Mom, she is suppose to be crazy. She is a girl. McKayla & mom:
Shutterbug
Try Not To Stare
McKayla: Book smartTrev: lots of common senseMcKennley = book smartOl Trev = worldlyI did not punish him.You'd punish your kid for being right?When he wasdaughter: Yesterday Mya and I weren't friends, because we got in an argument. We are friends today, though, because we made up.me: That is crazy, bug.(interrupted by son) Mom, she is suppose to be crazy. She is a girl. McKayla & mom:
Shutterbug
Try Not To Stare
Before lunch:
Me: Trev, you about ready to go to lunch?
Trev: You aren't going like that are you?
(I am sporting a pullover hoodie and running pants with my hair in a scrunci)
Me: What is wrong with the way I look? :grinning:
Trev: I don't want to be seen with you looking like that. Put some jeans on and do your hair at least.
Me:
Oh, all right. If I must...
Trev: Let me know when you are beautiful again, and then we can go.
Me: Trev, you about ready to go to lunch?
Trev: You aren't going like that are you?
(I am sporting a pullover hoodie and running pants with my hair in a scrunci)
Me: What is wrong with the way I look? :grinning:
Trev: I don't want to be seen with you looking like that. Put some jeans on and do your hair at least.
Me:
Oh, all right. If I must...Trev: Let me know when you are beautiful again, and then we can go.
snogger
Footballguy
for my wife and I.. Not so for my Brother In-law.We were out to dinner with family and my nephew, who is 5, was trying to leave the table to go play a video game when this conversation took place:
Brother In-Law: "I'm not talking to you yet"
Nephew: "Oh, You ARE done talking to me" and he walked away.
Wife and I
.. Holding back the while brother in-law had a 
look.
Nathan R. Jessep
Footballguy
Before lunch:Me: Trev, you about ready to go to lunch?Trev: You aren't going like that are you?(I am sporting a pullover hoodie and running pants with my hair in a scrunci)Me: What is wrong with the way I look? :grinning:Trev: I don't want to be seen with you looking like that. Put some jeans on and do your hair at least. Me:
Prussian
Footballguy
Talk about the Force being strong in a kid ... :jedimastertype:You better lock away the beer and the remote now. Catch him using terms like "jigglies" or puting his hand in his waistline on the couch and you're done!Before lunch:Me: Trev, you about ready to go to lunch?Trev: You aren't going like that are you?(I am sporting a pullover hoodie and running pants with my hair in a scrunci)Me: What is wrong with the way I look? :grinning:Trev: I don't want to be seen with you looking like that. Put some jeans on and do your hair at least. Me:Oh, all right. If I must... Trev: Let me know when you are beautiful again, and then we can go.
Standing Hampton
Footballguy
Family on the way back from vacation last summer. 9 year old daughter and 6 year old son complaining that they can't sleep in the car because they aren't able to lie down. 4 year old in car seat says "oh yeah, all I can do is this".
Closes his eyes and turns his head to the right.
He also calls the baseball team in Philly the Sillies.
Same son opens fridge and points to Orange juice and says "my juice"
Points to beer bottle and says "daddy's juice".
That kid is a character.
Closes his eyes and turns his head to the right.
He also calls the baseball team in Philly the Sillies.
Same son opens fridge and points to Orange juice and says "my juice"
Points to beer bottle and says "daddy's juice".
That kid is a character.
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Shutterbug
Try Not To Stare
Funny you should say that.Talk about the Force being strong in a kid ... :jedimastertype:You better lock away the beer and the remote now. Catch him using terms like "jigglies" or puting his hand in his waistline on the couch and you're done!Before lunch:
Me: Trev, you about ready to go to lunch?
Trev: You aren't going like that are you?
(I am sporting a pullover hoodie and running pants with my hair in a scrunci)
Me: What is wrong with the way I look? :grinning:
Trev: I don't want to be seen with you looking like that. Put some jeans on and do your hair at least.
Me:Oh, all right. If I must...
Trev: Let me know when you are beautiful again, and then we can go.
Prussian
Footballguy
Oh yeah ... You're done!He's just missing a little drool and the remote.Funny you should say that.Talk about the Force being strong in a kid ... :jedimastertype:You better lock away the beer and the remote now. Catch him using terms like "jigglies" or puting his hand in his waistline on the couch and you're done!Before lunch:
Me: Trev, you about ready to go to lunch?
Trev: You aren't going like that are you?
(I am sporting a pullover hoodie and running pants with my hair in a scrunci)
Me: What is wrong with the way I look? :grinning:
Trev: I don't want to be seen with you looking like that. Put some jeans on and do your hair at least.
Me:Oh, all right. If I must...
Trev: Let me know when you are beautiful again, and then we can go.
Things to look for now:
"No mom, it's not a girl in my room. It's the TV."
"Ummm Trev? Where's my beer from the fridge?"
Motorcycle is out of gas ...
Great kid ...
Shutterbug
Try Not To Stare
Remote has been missing for 3 days.I do not drink beer. No worries there.Oh yeah ... You're done!He's just missing a little drool and the remote.Funny you should say that.Talk about the Force being strong in a kid ... :jedimastertype:You better lock away the beer and the remote now. Catch him using terms like "jigglies" or puting his hand in his waistline on the couch and you're done!Before lunch:
Me: Trev, you about ready to go to lunch?
Trev: You aren't going like that are you?
(I am sporting a pullover hoodie and running pants with my hair in a scrunci)
Me: What is wrong with the way I look? :grinning:
Trev: I don't want to be seen with you looking like that. Put some jeans on and do your hair at least.
Me:Oh, all right. If I must...
Trev: Let me know when you are beautiful again, and then we can go.
Things to look for now:
"No mom, it's not a girl in my room. It's the TV."
"Ummm Trev? Where's my beer from the fridge?"
Motorcycle is out of gas ...
Great kid ...
He already wants a motorcycle. There is a little girl in our neighborhood that has one of those mini motorcycles. So Trev tells me "See, they make them for my size." He said that a couple days after he told me he needs to learn how to do wheelies on his new bike. I might as well make his reservations with the ER now.
GamerBoy61
Footballguy
My 5 year old daughter came in the house with a hand full of dandelions...
"Mom, why don't they call them dandetigers??"
"Mom, why don't they call them dandetigers??"
Judge Smails
Footballguy
OK, older than most.
My 16 year old daughter had her second laproscopic procedure to correct issues with her stomach. All is good now.
So they give her a lot of fluids via IV. Several hours after the surgery, the nurse tells my daughter that she needs to try and go to the bathroom to get rid of some of the excess fluids. She tries, doesn't work. Mind you, she is still heavily medicated. I mean out of it. The nurse then says she'll give her a few more hours before they would have to use a catheter. My daughter does not know what a catheter is. I lean over and tell her what it is.
She blurts out at 100 decibel levels "I DON'T WANT TO LOSE MY VIRGINITY TO A TUBE"
We were rolling...And relieved. Morphine is great truth serum.
My 16 year old daughter had her second laproscopic procedure to correct issues with her stomach. All is good now.
So they give her a lot of fluids via IV. Several hours after the surgery, the nurse tells my daughter that she needs to try and go to the bathroom to get rid of some of the excess fluids. She tries, doesn't work. Mind you, she is still heavily medicated. I mean out of it. The nurse then says she'll give her a few more hours before they would have to use a catheter. My daughter does not know what a catheter is. I lean over and tell her what it is.
She blurts out at 100 decibel levels "I DON'T WANT TO LOSE MY VIRGINITY TO A TUBE"
We were rolling...And relieved. Morphine is great truth serum.
Shutterbug
Try Not To Stare
I have another from this morning. Not as funny, but still funny. Reminds me of when I was little.
My daughter seems to have issues sleeping in her own bed. I guess it is another phase. Well, She wanted to sleep in Trev's room last night.
McKayla: Can I sleep in here?
Trev: NO! You have your own bed.
McKayla: Please!!!!
Trev: (yelling by now) No!!! Get in your own bed!!!
Me: Alright you two. McKayla, get in your bed. There is no reason why you can't sleep in your own bed.
(all is quiet again)
This morning I wake them so they can get ready and McKayla is sleeping at the end of Trev's bed. So, I leave it alone for now and told them to get ready.
I am doing McKayla's hair and Trev comes in my bathroom.
Trev: Sissy, you still have to make my bed.
Me: Why does McKayla have to make your bed? That is your responsibility, bud.
Trev: She said last night if I let her sleep in my bed that she would make it for me. I said fine, but she had to sleep on the end.
Me: McKayla...... You sleep in your own bed from now on. Now go make his bed. A deal is a deal.
McKayla: :air leak: (Anyone that has a daughter knows what this air leak is. A noise she makes when upset.)
Trev: (follows her and makes sure she does it right)
McKayla: You don't have to watch me, you know.
outing:
Trev: I like my pillow under my blanket.
McKayla: I'M DOING IT!
Trev: DO IT RIGHT!
Me: :laughing on the inside: Stop fighting and brush your teeth.
Trev decides to come show me his teeth after he brushes them...
Trev: See mom, all shiny. I tried to get them squeaky clean, but they just won't squeak. See? :rubs finger on front teeth:
Me: You are right, they are shiny and no squeaks. I think you did a good job, though.
Trev: :sticks out tongue: Brushed my tongue, too.
Me: That is great.
Never a dull moment in my house. He is a very funny kid.
My daughter seems to have issues sleeping in her own bed. I guess it is another phase.
Well, She wanted to sleep in Trev's room last night.McKayla: Can I sleep in here?
Trev: NO! You have your own bed.
McKayla: Please!!!!
Trev: (yelling by now) No!!! Get in your own bed!!!
Me: Alright you two. McKayla, get in your bed. There is no reason why you can't sleep in your own bed.
(all is quiet again)
This morning I wake them so they can get ready and McKayla is sleeping at the end of Trev's bed.
So, I leave it alone for now and told them to get ready.I am doing McKayla's hair and Trev comes in my bathroom.
Trev: Sissy, you still have to make my bed.
Me: Why does McKayla have to make your bed? That is your responsibility, bud.
Trev: She said last night if I let her sleep in my bed that she would make it for me. I said fine, but she had to sleep on the end.
Me: McKayla...... You sleep in your own bed from now on. Now go make his bed. A deal is a deal.
McKayla: :air leak: (Anyone that has a daughter knows what this air leak is. A noise she makes when upset.)
Trev: (follows her and makes sure she does it right)
McKayla: You don't have to watch me, you know.
outing:Trev: I like my pillow under my blanket.
McKayla: I'M DOING IT!
Trev: DO IT RIGHT!
Me: :laughing on the inside: Stop fighting and brush your teeth.
Trev decides to come show me his teeth after he brushes them...
Trev: See mom, all shiny. I tried to get them squeaky clean, but they just won't squeak. See? :rubs finger on front teeth:
Me:
You are right, they are shiny and no squeaks. I think you did a good job, though. Trev: :sticks out tongue: Brushed my tongue, too.
Me: That is great.
Never a dull moment in my house. He is a very funny kid.
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Sack-Religious
Footballguy
Shutterbug
Try Not To Stare
I am glad everything is good now, and glad your daughter is still pure. You did something right.
Regular Crust Pizza
Footballguy
My soon to be 4 year old turned on the TV and put Futurama on the other night. When I figured this out and turned it off he laughs and says " I.C. Wiener".I have caught him several times since then talking to himself " I.C. Wiener
SuperJohn96
RPS World Champion
The Force IS strong with this one.Next time, he's gonna show her his pimp hand.I have another from this morning. Not as funny, but still funny. Reminds me of when I was little.
My daughter seems to have issues sleeping in her own bed. I guess it is another phase.
McKayla: Can I sleep in here?
Trev: NO! You have your own bed.
McKayla: Please!!!!
Trev: (yelling by now) No!!! Get in your own bed!!!
Me: Alright you two. McKayla, get in your bed. There is no reason why you can't sleep in your own bed.
(all is quiet again)
This morning I wake them so they can get ready and McKayla is sleeping at the end of Trev's bed.So, I leave it alone for now and told them to get ready.
I am doing McKayla's hair and Trev comes in my bathroom.
Trev: Sissy, you still have to make my bed.
Me: Why does McKayla have to make your bed? That is your responsibility, bud.
Trev: She said last night if I let her sleep in my bed that she would make it for me. I said fine, but she had to sleep on the end.
Me: McKayla...... You sleep in your own bed from now on. Now go make his bed. A deal is a deal.
McKayla: :air leak: (Anyone that has a daughter knows what this air leak is. A noise she makes when upset.)
Trev: (follows her and makes sure she does it right)
McKayla: You don't have to watch me, you know.
Trev: I like my pillow under my blanket.
McKayla: I'M DOING IT!
Trev: DO IT RIGHT!
Me: :laughing on the inside: Stop fighting and brush your teeth.
Trev decides to come show me his teeth after he brushes them...
Trev: See mom, all shiny. I tried to get them squeaky clean, but they just won't squeak. See? :rubs finger on front teeth:
Me:
Trev: :sticks out tongue: Brushed my tongue, too.
Me: That is great.
Never a dull moment in my house. He is a very funny kid.
Nathan R. Jessep
Footballguy
I'm right there with you. Mine do this, and the oldest argues with the youngest that he's saying it wrong. 
The foo
Footballguy
I was at the toy store with my 3 year old and we walked by this huge dude that size of out of shape left tackle. She waks by him looks back at me says, "Daddy is he i giant?" I pretend i dont hear her, and she says it again loud enough for half the isle to hear us. At that point we were safely out of arms way and i cracked up.
Early_10
footballgoddess
SuperJohn96
RPS World Champion
My 1 year old calls my Brother in-law Jimmy "Mimi".
Which is great cuz he hates this.
...Uncle Mimi....
Which is great cuz he hates this.
...Uncle Mimi....
Verbal Kint
Footballguy
Sack-Religious said:Judge Smails said:
Awesome.
skillz
Footballguy
I was driving in my car with my three year old son when out of the blue he asks me "Daddy where did all the snow go?" (We live in Michigan).
I told him "the snow has all melted into water and has gone away."
His response: "The snow is missing then. We better go find it and bring it back."
It was a pretty funny and random comment for him to make. Their little minds are always working that's for sure.
I told him "the snow has all melted into water and has gone away."
His response: "The snow is missing then. We better go find it and bring it back."
It was a pretty funny and random comment for him to make. Their little minds are always working that's for sure.
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
I get up with my oldest this morning and he wants something to eat. Fine. I get dressed to take a walk and the wife says she is getting up in a minute. So we go downstairs, I make him a bowl of cereal and put Mickey Mouse on TV for him.
Cal: Dad, where are you going?
Me: I'm going for a walk.
Cal: Ok, come back alright. (His version of goodbye.)
I take the dog for a walk and come back. The first thing I notice is that the Beatles are on TV now, then that the kitchen trash can is on the fire place. (I always put the remotes on top of the mantle so the boys can't get them.) He is sitting in MY chair now, DVD remote in hand.
Me: Cal, where's Mommy?!
Cal: Probably upstairs sleeping still.
Me: Cal, you shouldn't have climbed up on the trash can like that. You could have fallen and gotten very hurt.
Cal: It's alright. I didn't fall. I'm fine.
Me: No, what I meant was...
Cal: HEY!! Here comes Hard Day's Night!! :hitsplay:
Me:
Cal: Dad, where are you going?
Me: I'm going for a walk.
Cal: Ok, come back alright. (His version of goodbye.)
I take the dog for a walk and come back. The first thing I notice is that the Beatles are on TV now, then that the kitchen trash can is on the fire place. (I always put the remotes on top of the mantle so the boys can't get them.) He is sitting in MY chair now, DVD remote in hand.
Me: Cal, where's Mommy?!
Cal: Probably upstairs sleeping still.
Me: Cal, you shouldn't have climbed up on the trash can like that. You could have fallen and gotten very hurt.
Cal: It's alright. I didn't fall. I'm fine.
Me: No, what I meant was...
Cal: HEY!! Here comes Hard Day's Night!! :hitsplay:
Me:
DoubleG
Footballguy
Grandmother (my M.I.L.) to 2 year old (whom she's babysitting that night) while we are all eating dinner together:
"You're going to bed by 8:00 tonight."
2 year old: "You wanna bet?"
Me, wife, his 12 year old brother, and 11 year old sister
M.I.L.
2 year old
I love that little boy
One other one he (the 2 year old) said a few days ago (he's learning the difference between boys and girls - my wife is a nurse, so, of course he gets to learn biologically correct terms at a very young age) Announced at dinner completely randomly :
"I have a penis, my brother has a penis, Daddy has a penis, Darth Vader has a penis and Darth Maul has a penis."
Everyone tried to be but after about 2 seconds we all just
"You're going to bed by 8:00 tonight."
2 year old: "You wanna bet?"
Me, wife, his 12 year old brother, and 11 year old sister
M.I.L.
2 year old
I love that little boy
One other one he (the 2 year old) said a few days ago (he's learning the difference between boys and girls - my wife is a nurse, so, of course he gets to learn biologically correct terms at a very young age) Announced at dinner completely randomly :
"I have a penis, my brother has a penis, Daddy has a penis, Darth Vader has a penis and Darth Maul has a penis."
Everyone tried to be
but after about 2 seconds we all just
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Captain Quinoa
Footballguy
5 y.o. son to my wife: Mommy, you don't look as fat with your shirt on.
Worm
slimy ninja
Grandmother (my M.I.L.) to 2 year old (whom she's babysitting that night) while we are all eating dinner together: "You're going to bed by 8:00 tonight."2 year old: "You wanna bet?"Me, wife, his 12 year old brother, and 11 year old sister
One other one he (the 2 year old) said a few days ago (he's learning the difference between boys and girls - my wife is a nurse, so, of course he gets to learn biologically correct terms at a very young age) Announced at dinner completely randomly :"I have a penis, my brother has a penis, Daddy has a penis, Darth Vader has a penis and Darth Maul has a penis."Everyone tried to be
but after about 2 seconds we all just
at both of those
GTBilly
Footballguy
TommyGilmore
Footballguy
One other one he (the 2 year old) said a few days ago (he's learning the difference between boys and girls - my wife is a nurse, so, of course he gets to learn biologically correct terms at a very young age) Announced at dinner completely randomly :"I have a penis, my brother has a penis, Daddy has a penis, Darth Vader has a penis and Darth Maul has a penis."Everyone tried to be
Darth Maul 
jdoggydogg
Footballguy
My three year old nephew said this awhile back, and it makes me guffaw:
Mrs. Dogg: "Timmy, who usually watches you when your mom and dad are out?"
Timmy: "Monsters."
Mrs. Dogg: "Timmy, who usually watches you when your mom and dad are out?"
Timmy: "Monsters."
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St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
ElvisMonster
Footballguy
My son started doing that recently. Had no idea where he'd picked it up. My wife thought he was saying "brown chicken, brown cow".Bob Henry said:
The Force is strong in this one as well, but he will need to keep his mouth shut if he ever expects to enjoy the benefits.
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
I took my son to the Cards game last week for his 4th birthday.
Later in the game this vendor, who looked about 16, comes down the aisle selling hot chocolate & peanuts.
So it went like this...
Vendor: "HOT CHOCOLATE, PEANUTS!!" (Walks past our seats down the aisle)
Cal: (To me) Hey! Those aren't peanuts! That's lemonade!
Me: Oh really?
Cal: Yeah!
Vendor: (Walking back up the aisle) "HOT CHOCOLATE, PEANUTS!!"
Cal: (To Vendor) HEY!!! THOSE AREN'T PEANUTS! THAT'S LEMONADE!!
Vendor:
Vendor:
Vendor:
Vendor: Um, I have peanuts here in the bag.
Cal: Oh.
Later in the game this vendor, who looked about 16, comes down the aisle selling hot chocolate & peanuts.
So it went like this...
Vendor: "HOT CHOCOLATE, PEANUTS!!" (Walks past our seats down the aisle)
Cal: (To me) Hey! Those aren't peanuts! That's lemonade!
Me:
Oh really?Cal: Yeah!
Vendor: (Walking back up the aisle) "HOT CHOCOLATE, PEANUTS!!"
Cal: (To Vendor) HEY!!! THOSE AREN'T PEANUTS! THAT'S LEMONADE!!
Vendor:
Vendor:
Vendor:
Vendor: Um, I have peanuts here in the bag.
Cal: Oh.
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