What's new
Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums

Welcome to Our Forums. Once you've registered and logged in, you're primed to talk football, among other topics, with the sharpest and most experienced fantasy players on the internet.

GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing (8 Viewers)

krista4 said:
Have not read but assume that, as usual, lots of ###-kissing?

ETA:  Really, that's redacted?
Click to expand...
Seems that's where the monkey puts the peanut... :shrug:

* Gotta credit Senate Minority Whip Richard Durbin for teaching me that line, earlier today.

 
Henry Ford said:
Man of Constant Sorrow said:
Seems that's where the monkey puts the peanut... :shrug:

* Gotta credit Senate Minority Whip Richard Durbin for teaching me that line, earlier today.
Click to expand...
Does it still mean "where the sun don't shine?" As in "where the monkey puts his nuts?"
Click to expand...
To be honest counselor, I cannot answer your question.

Senator Durbin did not elaborate on the matter to me personally; thus, I would be assuming...

...and we all know what they say about that.

 
My boss and his boss were in town for a few days this week, and ended up inviting the team out to a ballgame (minor league, ballpark is about 2 blocks from my office).  Boss man was running an open tab, so :banned:  good times for the 8-10 of us who took him up on the offer.

Being minor-league, they run hokey contests between innings.  One of them was called "What's in the box?".  I immediately yelled out "Gwyneth Paltrow's head!!" Anyway, the prizes ended up being a) a team-logo baseball; 2) $25.00 and iii) a Burt Hooton :lmao: bobblehead  (turns out Burt has been involved with the team for several years, but in the moment I had no idea why they'd have his bobblehead)

Oh, it was also "peanut allergy awareness night", so during Take Me Out to the Ballgame, I sang "...buy me some -- #######it."

Fun times.

@shukefor the bobblehead reference

 
General Malaise said:
Fruit flies have invaded our office, driving us frigging crazy.  Think I've swallowed two and had one get stuck in my contact lens.  I'm fighting back and doing my best McGiver, I found the following tools of death and destruction:

- A chipped pint glass from Oregon Public Broadcast
- 3/4 cup full of pickle juice.  Our CFO goes through a giant jar of pickles a week.  He's going to find less juice in his current jar.  No he's not pregnant.
- Two tomato slices that I pulled off my chicken sandwich.  Vile fruit.
- Two drops of hand soap.
- Scotch Tape forming a little grid over the lid of the chipped glass.

Result?  Four little mofo's drowned with another climbing the sides of the glass.  C'mon little fella, jump into the delicious nectar.  GET SOME!!!!!!!
Click to expand...
Dumb question, but do you have an oven in your office?

If so, put a plate in there with part of an apple or something sweet. Leave the door open over night. In the morning, slowly close the door and turn the oven on. Boom roasted.

Did this once and it works like a charm

 
heckmanm said:
My boss and his boss were in town for a few days this week, and ended up inviting the team out to a ballgame (minor league, ballpark is about 2 blocks from my office).  Boss man was running an open tab, so :banned:  good times for the 8-10 of us who took him up on the offer.

Being minor-league, they run hokey contests between innings.  One of them was called "What's in the box?".  I immediately yelled out "Gwyneth Paltrow's head!!" Anyway, the prizes ended up being a) a team-logo baseball; 2) $25.00 and iii) a Burt Hooton :lmao: bobblehead  (turns out Burt has been involved with the team for several years, but in the moment I had no idea why they'd have his bobblehead)

Oh, it was also "peanut allergy awareness night", so during Take Me Out to the Ballgame, I sang "...buy me some -- #######it."

Fun times.

@shukefor the bobblehead reference
Click to expand...
Wizards?

 
shuke said:
Wizards?
Click to expand...
Used to be the Wizards.  They built a new (really nice) downtown ballpark a few years ago and became the TinCaps (after Johnny Appleseed, who's supposedly buried here).

Also switched affiliations from the Twins to the Padres at some point along the line, in case anyone's a real :nerd:  for low-A baseball.

 
Mr.Pack said:
Dumb question, but do you have an oven in your office?

If so, put a plate in there with part of an apple or something sweet. Leave the door open over night. In the morning, slowly close the door and turn the oven on. Boom roasted.

Did this once and it works like a charm
Click to expand...
No oven, but my pickle juice/tomato trap has been wildly successful.  Dozens in there dead now.  I'm enjoying this a little too much I think. :oldunsure:

 
heckmanm said:
Used to be the Wizards.  They built a new (really nice) downtown ballpark a few years ago and became the TinCaps (after Johnny Appleseed, who's supposedly buried here).

Also switched affiliations from the Twins to the Padres at some point along the line, in case anyone's a real :nerd:  for low-A baseball.
Click to expand...
Wait, he's a real person?  Thought he was a fairy tale?

 
General Malaise said:
Wait, he's a real person?  Thought he was a fairy tale?
Click to expand...
Wikipedia

John Chapman (September 26, 1774 – March 18, 1845), often called Johnny Appleseed, was an American pioneer nurseryman who introduced apple trees to large parts of Pennsylvania, Ontario, Ohio, Indiana, and Illinois, as well as the northern counties of present-day West Virginia. He became an American legend while still alive, due to his kind, generous ways, his leadership in conservation, and the symbolic importance he attributed to apples. He was also a missionary for The New Church (Swedenborgian)[1] and the inspiration for many museums and historical sites such as the Johnny Appleseed Museum[2] in Urbana, Ohio, and the Johnny Appleseed Heritage Center[3] in between Lucas, Ohio, and Mifflin, Ohio. The TinCaps, a minor league baseball team in Fort Wayne, Indiana, which is where Chapman spent his final years, is named in his honor.[4]
Click to expand...
eta: 

One cool autumnal night, while lying by his camp-fire in the woods, he observed that the mosquitoes flew in the blaze and were burned. Johnny, who wore on his head a tin utensil which answered both as a cap and a mush pot, filled it with water and quenched the fire, and afterwards remarked, "God forbid that I should build a fire for my comfort, that should be the means of destroying any of His creatures."
Click to expand...
Thus the team name.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
heckmanm said:
Used to be the Wizards.  They built a new (really nice) downtown ballpark a few years ago and became the TinCaps (after Johnny Appleseed, who's supposedly buried here).

Also switched affiliations from the Twins to the Padres at some point along the line, in case anyone's a real :nerd:  for low-A baseball.
Click to expand...
Oh that's right.  I've been there. 

 
heckmanm said:
My boss and his boss were in town for a few days this week, and ended up inviting the team out to a ballgame (minor league, ballpark is about 2 blocks from my office).  Boss man was running an open tab, so :banned:  good times for the 8-10 of us who took him up on the offer.

Being minor-league, they run hokey contests between innings.  One of them was called "What's in the box?".  I immediately yelled out "Gwyneth Paltrow's head!!" Anyway, the prizes ended up being a) a team-logo baseball; 2) $25.00 and iii) a Burt Hooton :lmao: bobblehead  (turns out Burt has been involved with the team for several years, but in the moment I had no idea why they'd have his bobblehead)

Oh, it was also "peanut allergy awareness night", so during Take Me Out to the Ballgame, I sang "...buy me some -- #######it."

Fun times.

@shukefor the bobblehead reference
Click to expand...
Minor-league baseball games are always a blast.

Would be nice to have some Tanner baseball announcer shtick back.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
krista4 said:
Minor-league baseball games are always a blast.

Would be nice to have some Tanner baseball announcer shtick back.
Click to expand...
They used to do the bat-spin races (where you put your head on the bat, run in a circle until dizzy and then try to run a straight line).  Was a hoot when it was a couple of adults who had been drinking, but then they started having little kids do it and it wasn't nearly as cool - partly because the kids weren't tall enough to really get a good spin going.

Haven't seen it at all recently.

 
General Malaise said:
No oven, but my pickle juice/tomato trap has been wildly successful.  Dozens in there dead now.  I'm enjoying this a little too much I think. :oldunsure:
Click to expand...
If you'd just done the honey in a cup part, the ending is fantastic. Once all those little ####ers are trapped in the honey fighting like crazy to break loose, that's when you hit them with 4oz of beer. They die happy. It's quite humane.

 
Mr.Pack said:
Dumb question, but do you have an oven in your office?

If so, put a plate in there with part of an apple or something sweet. Leave the door open over night. In the morning, slowly close the door and turn the oven on. Boom roasted.

Did this once and it works like a charm
Click to expand...
stealing this

 
Henry Ford said:
That would be the worst fairy tale in history.  "Once upon a time there was a crazy guy who wore a saucepan on his head and planted apple seeds.  The end."
Click to expand...
I thought he went around the country planting apple trees and was responsible for Washington's amazing apple crop.  Also thought he was about as real as the Tooth Fairy.  

 
kevzilla said:
Where does a Hashtag Warrior go when the war is over?  :kicksrock:
Click to expand...
#Valhalla is where I'm headed. :(

Guess Hardwick has that Hearst money now, so no need to do a 7th show about **** memes on top of all the "Talking" Fill In The Blank shows.

I'll miss it.  It's about the only thing the wife and I could watch together.

 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

General Malaise
GM's thread about nothing
4998 4999 5000
Replies
250K
Views
5M
Osaurus
Osaurus

Users who are viewing this thread

Total: 9 (members: 0, guests: 9)
Top