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GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing (5 Viewers)

bentley said:
Eating a free range turkey and spinach sandwich on gluten free bread and enjoying a Shiner Bock while waiting on a girl with purple hair to give me a trim. How Austin can something get?
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Depends on how much you overpaid. And whether you needed to hire a consultant to tell you that your hair needed to be trimmed.

 
I know this is sacrelige because of bacon and all, but whoever came up with bacon-wrapped shrimp was an idiot.  Bacon needs twenty-five minutes or so (especially given it's not all surface area when wrapped) to cook, while shrimp turn into chew toys after three minutes.  What should taste so good just gets ruined.

 
Uruk-Hai said:
Had mediocre-penis sex with Glorious Boobs yesterday. Whoever in here advised me a while back that some churchy women are freaks in bed was right in this case. Neither of us had condoms, so care (& alternatives) were used.
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That was me.  Sober churchy chicks will rock your world.

 
Ignoramus said:
Say 350°  

How long does it take shrimp to cook vs. bacon at that temp?




 
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Agree on the tough shrimp, though tell that to the guy at the buffet last night that emptied the ENTIRE brand new tray of bacon-wrapped shrimp onto his fat-faced plate.  

ABL - "Asian Buffet Life"

Note:  He had on a plaid flannel shirt with no sleeves, might have a part of OPM's wedding party.  

 
I dunno......I'm not a Gulf denizen, so I'm sure you guys know more than I do, but I always get the biggest shrimp I can find, marinate the living hell out of them, the cook them wrapped at 300 for about 25 minutes. Maybe the bacon overwhelms the rubbery-shrimp texture (or I ignore it, which is most likely), but they always seem to turn out good.

 
Uruk-Hai said:
No ####. And she doesn't seem to mind if I drink. Though she did tell me yesterday "don't drink so much you're no use to me later", which is right about the time I switched to water.
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A word of warning: if you are thinking about "pushing the envelope" with her, there's a better than even chance that she doesn't have an envelope. 

 
Henry Ford said:
A word of warning: if you are thinking about "pushing the envelope" with her, there's a better than even chance that she doesn't have an envelope. 
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I hear you. I'm actually pulling back on the reins some with her. Mainly because I don't have the time right now with work taking up the bulk of my time, but also because it gives me a chance to get a better handle on her. Those boobs, though......

 
Uruk-Hai said:
I hear you. I'm actually pulling back on the reins some with her. Mainly because I don't have the time right now with work taking up the bulk of my time, but also because it gives me a chance to get a better handle on her. Those boobs, though......
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The last time I had a fling with a sober churchy woman, she was very fond of me pulling back on the reins.

 
Just realized the Founders Dirty ******* I'm drinking at my wife's cousins is missing the label

gonna guess she made her husband take it off before Jesus saw it 

 
i'm on a crash diet of eggs, meat and green veggies only.   I can't drink milk or juice, just water.

your supposed to lose like 10lbs in 3 days but thats total bull####.  I've been eating a #### ton of eggs and meat and i don't think i've lost any weight.  

 
tommyboy said:
i'm on a crash diet of eggs, meat and green veggies only.   I can't drink milk or juice, just water.

your supposed to lose like 10lbs in 3 days but thats total bull####.  I've been eating a #### ton of eggs and meat and i don't think i've lost any weight.  
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This is the fine print of those low carb style diets.  You can't eat unlimited amounts of calories and expect to lose weight.

 
One of my hard partying friends had some couples, including me and the Mrs Limp, over for dinner last night. The friend is 47 years old and closing in on 30 years of steady cocaine use/abuse. Nowadays, Id call it use. Probably a daily bump or two and maybe an all nighter once every two weeks. Back in his 20s and 30s, when it was multiple day runs per week, it was abuse.

Throw in the fact that he drinks a bunch and everyone's always assumed that he's not long for this world. He's divorced, no kids, currently has a live in girlfriend and has always been the guy that just lives life the way he wants. Knows the risks of what he does, and chooses to continue doing it. And while there have been countless offhand comments and jokes about him dropping one day, most have been by him, last night it became a little too real.

its about 1:15 AM, still 6 of us there. Hard partying friend is standing there in the living room, talking to me and one other guy, one second and flat on the ground the next. No effort to catch himself. His whole body just stopped, mid sentence, and to the floor it went, hitting his head on the coffee table to boot. My perspective was cliche, 'it happened in slow motion', but Oh ####, he's dead! raced through my mind before he hit the floor. It was arguably the scariest moment of my life.

Then the SOB springs right up, says that he's ok, shoos us all away from him and goes right to the kitchen. He's in there, a trickle of blood coming from the scrape on his forehead, fixing himself another drink, because he had spilled the one he had when he fell and proclaims that he'll outlive us all. 

cocaine, it's a hell of a drug

 
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If you want to use thick bacon, you need to deep fry it or you'll overcook the shrimp by the time the bacon is done.

 
Never thought to cook the bacon a little before wrapping it around the shrimp.  Probably why mine always turn out bad. 

 
Limp Ditka said:
One of my hard partying friends had some couples, including me and the Mrs Limp, over for dinner last night. The friend is 47 years old and closing in on 30 years of steady cocaine use/abuse. Nowadays, Id call it use. Probably a daily bump or two and maybe an all nighter once every two weeks. Back in his 20s and 30s, when it was multiple day runs per week, it was abuse.

Throw in the fact that he drinks a bunch and everyone's always assumed that he's not long for this world. He's divorced, no kids, currently has a live in girlfriend and has always been the guy that just lives life the way he wants. Knows the risks of what he does, and chooses to continue doing it. And while there have been countless offhand comments and jokes about him dropping one day, most have been by him, last night it became a little too real.

its about 1:15 AM, still 6 of us there. Hard partying friend is standing there in the living room, talking to me and one other guy, one second and flat on the ground the next. No effort to catch himself. His whole body just stopped, mid sentence, and to the floor it went, hitting his head on the coffee table to boot. My perspective was cliche, 'it happened in slow motion', but Oh ####, he's dead! raced through my mind before he hit the floor. It was arguably the scariest moment of my life.

Then the SOB springs right up, says that he's ok, shoos us all away from him and goes right to the kitchen. He's in there, a trickle of blood coming from the scrape on his forehead, fixing himself another drink, because he had spilled the one he had when he fell and proclaims that he'll outlive us all. 

cocaine, it's a hell of a drug
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This guy is my hero. 

 
Homer J Simpson said:
This guy is my hero. 
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Between the hookers and blow, if the price tag of his partying from 1995-2005 was north of $1,000,000 I wouldn't blink. With me being the one friend that doesn't touch the white, I've been deemed trustworthy and since the early 90's I've always had a key to his place. So every once in a while, I'll get a call from people saying 'I haven't heard from (insert friend's name here) in about 3 days, can you go check on him?' Usually it was just the fiends looking for a fix, but I've walked into plenty of scenarios that just left me shaking my head. I'm still stunned that I haven't walked into his place to find a corpse.

 
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