GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing (6 Viewers)

[ffjunk]

let us be the judges.

tell us a joke, funny-man.

What did the perverted frog say?

Rubbit

I'll show myself out.

 

[mr. furley]

got a lot of admiration for the stones it takes to do standup   wtg, beef.

 

[5-ish Finkle]

my ex's bestfriend's ex is a writer guy who did the pickup artist book. before that, he was a music writer for different outlets and was tasked with writing a piece about stand-up. 

he did a bit at open-mic night at Dangerfield's here in the city that we all went to for support. he read from note-cards and looked petrified... still got some good laughs, but said he'd never do it again- terrifying. this coming from the guy that ghost-wrote marilyn manson's "auto"biography. 

Wait, wait, WAIT....you're ex bestfriend's ex is THIS guy? 

All the scarves make sense now, you peacocking mutha'.

 

[kevzilla]

The band at the bar tonight could definitely give floppinho and friends a run for their money. 

Also, they have open mic every Thursday.  

 

[shuke]

I think it went pretty well.  I know I got plenty of laughs but It's hard to tell when you're up there.  I need to slow down my delivery...I know a couple of jokes got swallowed up because I didn't wait long enough for the last line to die out.

The guy that hosted it is a friend of my son's and he's also a substitute teacher in out district.  I asked him after "No BS.  Give me an honest evaluation."  

He said "No curve....B+"

Video?

 

[shuke]

That's like asking a Navy Seal if he's nervous about going to play Lazer-Tag."

Oof

 

[kevzilla]

The turnover in this bar is nuts. The new bartender would rank highly on the Bentley Trashy Blonde scale. 

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Video?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PeihcfYft9w

 

[Binky The Doormat]

It was not.  I went in solo. No friends or family in the crowd. I did put my phone down on the stool and recorded audio but that’s about it.

well ...posting sound works as well. 

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

well ...posting sound works as well. 

What am I? Nipsey?

 

[Binky The Doormat]

I was hesitant to post, but my son participated in the local Toughman contest tonight.  I went and cheered him on, even though I am not a fan of the whole process.  

I am a fan of the white trash #### show.  I haven't been to one of these things in over 30 years.  The last one was in Dayton, OH where my best friend had a brother who was a Golden Gloves winner that was competing. 

My wife was cornered in a friendly way in the bathroom by a lovely lady who was very upset she wasn't able to participate due to her recent C-section.  The disappointed girl made sure to show my wife her scar and why it should have been deemed "fight-ready".  

Tonight my son kicked some very fit, mean-looking guy's ### ...one of only two fights that were stopped tonight.  Tomorrow he has to fight people that look like they are bouncers out of Central Casting (as did this guy).  I'm still not sure of the weight class divisions - he is 208lbs ...but I think it could go up to 225.  There were only a couple of "flabby" guys there.  

It was held in a local small event center and it was packed.  It was actually fairly well done.

The people viewing was worth the price of admission.  

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

I was hesitant to post, but my son participated in the local Toughman contest tonight.  I went and cheered him on, even though I am not a fan of the whole process.  

I am a fan of the white trash #### show.  I haven't been to one of these things in over 30 years.  The last one was in Dayton, OH where my best friend had a brother who was a Golden Gloves winner that was competing. 

My wife was cornered in a friendly way in the bathroom by a lovely lady who was very upset she wasn't able to participate due to her recent C-section.  The disappointed girl made sure to show my wife her scar and why it should have been deemed "fight-ready".  

Tonight my son kicked some very fit, mean-looking guy's ### ...one of only two fights that were stopped tonight.  Tomorrow he has to fight people that look like they are bouncers out of Central Casting (as did this guy).  I'm still not sure of the weight class divisions - he is 208lbs ...but I think it could go up to 225.  There were only a couple of "flabby" guys there.  

It was held in a local small event center and it was packed.  It was actually fairly well done.

The people viewing was worth the price of admission.  

Video?

 

[Man of Constant Sorrow]

Kick ### Binky-kid! 

 

[Binky The Doormat]

Video?

my buddy has some ...I'll see what I can do.  Will have to be this weekend.  I'm very concerned about tomorrow.  These guys are pretty mean looking.  

match-up photo

 

[Man of Constant Sorrow]

my buddy has some ...I'll see what I can do.  Will have to be this weekend.  I'm very concerned about tomorrow.  These guys are pretty mean looking.  

match-up photo

Holy hell. 

He"ll be fine. 

Lineman, wrestler, lifter? 

If he's new to fighting, he gotten good bulk somehow. 

And don't say, "Genetics!"

 

[Binky The Doormat]

Holy hell. 

He"ll be fine. 

Lineman, wrestler, lifter? 

If he's new to fighting, he gotten good bulk somehow. 

And don't say, "Genetics!"

oh hell no.

He has been in Jui Jitsu for almost 3 years and he did well in wrestling in HS - from 175lbs to heavyweight , even though he never got bigger than 210lbs in HS.

It's somewhat reassuring that they have headgear and reasonably sized gloves - but some of these guys are hard-core Golden Gloves bouncer types.  

We'll see.  Certainly, I'm hoping he wins, but my main hope is that he doesn't get some kind of injury that would hurt his chances to get into the Air Force.  It's crazy tough.  

 

[Binky The Doormat]

oh hell no.

He has been in Jui Jitsu for almost 3 years and he did well in wrestling in HS - from 175lbs to heavyweight , even though he never got bigger than 210lbs in HS.

It's somewhat reassuring that they have headgear and reasonably sized gloves - but some of these guys are hard-core Golden Gloves bouncer types.  

We'll see.  Certainly, I'm hoping he wins, but my main hope is that he doesn't get some kind of injury that would hurt his chances to get into the Air Force.  It's crazy tough.  

thanks MOCS 

 

[shuke]

My wife was cornered in a friendly way in the bathroom by a lovely lady who was very upset she wasn't able to participate due to her recent C-section.  The disappointed girl made sure to show my wife her scar and why it should have been deemed "fight-ready".  

 

[Binky The Doormat]

btw ...pretty sure it was Hara Arena.

 

[Man of Constant Sorrow]

oh hell no.

He has been in Jui Jitsu for almost 3 years and he did well in wrestling in HS - from 175lbs to heavyweight , even though he never got bigger than 210lbs in HS.

It's somewhat reassuring that they have headgear and reasonably sized gloves - but some of these guys are hard-core Golden Gloves bouncer types.  

We'll see.  Certainly, I'm hoping he wins, but my main hope is that he doesn't get some kind of injury that would hurt his chances to get into the Air Force.  It's crazy tough.  

I'm impressed. Air Force too. You did good. 

JJ is some serious stuff. Prolly the most widely respected ma in my area. I did Chinese ma for a few years. Only point sparring...was in my 30's...never did full contact. I dabbled. But some of the guys in my gym were pretty damn good. 

And, JJ was always the ma we hated to face the most. 

Oh, I thought he weighed more from the photo...I should have read your 1st post better. 

He's still fine at that weight..probably better off for JJ. 

GL

 

[Binky The Doormat]

I'm impressed. Air Force too. You did good. 

JJ is some serious stuff. Prolly the most widely respected ma in my area. I did Chinese ma for a few years. Only point sparring...was in my 30's...never did full contact. I dabbled. But some of the guys in my gym were pretty damn good. 

And, JJ was always the ma we hated to face the most. 

Oh, I thought he weighed more from the photo...I should have read your 1st post better. 

He's still fine at that weight..probably better off for JJ. 

GL

thanks man - though he isn't in the Air Force yet ...it's quite a process, but we are hoping.  He scored pretty well on the ASVAB - 83, so he qualifies for pretty much any positions ...but he was diagnosed with ADHD some time ago even though none of the concoctions of meds ever seemed to do much good.  Nothing ever really helped, so we don't really know if that is what he had.  He hasn't taken anything in over 5+ years.  

It was only a few years ago that a diagnosis/meds would disqualify you immediately.  

 

[Man of Constant Sorrow]

thanks man - though he isn't in the Air Force yet ...it's quite a process, but we are hoping.  He scored pretty well on the ASVAB - 83, so he qualifies for pretty much any positions ...but he was diagnosed with ADHD some time ago even though none of the concoctions of meds ever seemed to do much good.  Nothing ever really helped, so we don't really know if that is what he had.  He has taken anything in over 5+ years.  

It was only a few years ago that a diagnosis/meds would disqualify you immediately.  

I empathize. I'm bi-polar (under control since 2012). No meds for me now, except a mild antidepressant for neuropathy pain.

No 2 bi-polar's are the same, just as no 2 ADHD is the same. Often they are just the closest term a particular doc decides to use. But, I know the issues are real. They vary tho. 

I think that things have been improving in regards to the acceptance and understanding of people like your son and me. I hope the Air Force is one of those improving.

 

[El Floppo]

Wait, wait, WAIT....you're ex bestfriend's ex is THIS guy? 

All the scarves make sense now, you peacocking mutha'.

Does that guy look like he can read, let alone write books?

 

[kevzilla]

I want to apologize to @krista4 for not getting involved in her Beatles thread. It looks interesting, but it kinda got away from me. Perhaps I'll read it straight through this weekend* after getting good and baked.*

*Probably won't

**Already baked

 

[facook]

I want to apologize to @krista4 for not getting involved in her Beatles thread. It looks interesting, but it kinda got away from me. Perhaps I'll read it straight through this weekend* after getting good and baked.*

*Probably won't

**Already baked

It's worth it.  I'm hopelessly behind, but I'll read 3 or 4 pages once in a while while I'm eating lunch.  It's full of people with way smarter insight into music than I'll ever have, including our heroine.  Also, the Humanzee input is priceless.  

 

[Henry Ford]

Does that guy look like he can read, let alone write books?

Your ex’s best friend’s ex is Neil Strauss?

 

[El Floppo]

Your ex’s best friend’s ex is Neil Strauss?

Yes

 

[Osaurus]

5 mile hike this morning with 511 vertical feet.  That’s 5x more than the elevation I live at in FL.  Heading across the street for another short hike then off to lunch and pottery shopping.  

 

[Henry Ford]

Yes

Did she date him before or after Courtney Love? Are you required to wear a haz-mat suit around her?

 

[El Floppo]

Did she date him before or after Courtney Love? Are you required to wear a haz-mat suit around her?

This was all college/post-college when Neil was just a talented and confident nebbish and not yet a star ####er.

 

[Henry Ford]

This was all college/post-college when Neil was just a talented and confident nebbish and not yet a star ####er.

Whew.  Bullet dodged. 

 

[Henry Ford]

Is Joe trolling the board? He started a thread about Che Guevara and said not to talk about politics in it. 

 

[Uruk-Hai]

Is Joe trolling the board? He started a thread about Che Guevara and said not to talk about politics in it. 

I think he does that quite often, but that one had me chuckling a little too

 

[cosjobs]

I'd love to.   Don't know when I can while it's still decent.   I'll text you next week after roverkid starts her treatment and see what's going on.

There is a distinct possibility your daughter will not be allowed visitors for a period after checking in.

And I strongly recommend in-patient. Its a really tough diagnosis to overcome

 

[cosjobs]

I'd love to.   Don't know when I can while it's still decent.   I'll text you next week after roverkid starts her treatment and see what's going on.

If you want, I could come up for a week to help you out before 3/30

 

[cosjobs]

I think it went pretty well.  I know I got plenty of laughs but It's hard to tell when you're up there.  I need to slow down my delivery...I know a couple of jokes got swallowed up because I didn't wait long enough for the last line to die out.

The guy that hosted it is a friend of my son and he's also a substitute teacher in out district.  I asked him after "No BS.  Give me an honest evaluation."  

He said "No curve....B+"

You're no Freddie Prinze

 

[Henry Ford]

I think he does that quite often, but that one had me chuckling a little too

I briefly considered starting a thread titled “Do you know who Julia Child is? Please no discussion of cooking in this thread”

 

[Henry Ford]

You're no Freddie Prinze

Jr. or Sr.?

 

[-fish-]

There is a distinct possibility your daughter will not be allowed visitors for a period after checking in.

And I strongly recommend in-patient. Its a really tough diagnosis to overcome

She's looking at partial hospitalization, which is 12-7 Monday-Friday and 9-2:30 on Saturday.   They may switch her to residential, but there are no openings in Washington right now.   If she needs to do residential, she'll probably go to La Jolla.

 

[-fish-]

If you want, I could come up for a week to help you out before 3/30

Thanks, man.   Things are shifting pretty fast right now.  I have a massive case that will either settle in the next two weeks or will take up all of my time for the next few months, as well as the roverkid issues that are pretty fluid.   I should have a better handle on where I'm at over the next week or two.

 

[cosjobs]

She's looking at partial hospitalization, which is 12-7 Monday-Friday and 9-2:30 on Saturday.   They may switch her to residential, but there are no openings in Washington right now.   If she needs to do residential, she'll probably go to La Jolla.

I would recommend the residential. Pretty sure their success rate is significantly higher

 

[5-ish Finkle]

Does that guy look like he can read, let alone write books?

If he's to be believed he'd just neg some chick until she wrote it for him.

(I actually am aware some dude that referred to himself as "Style" wrote that book.  Just felt like making a peacock joke about your scarves.  Sometimes my pleasures are simple.).

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Holy crap. About to do my first open mic comedy stand up.  

If you don’t hear from me later...I probably ate a gun.

Kick ###. Let's see a video.

do NOT tell us it wasn't videoed.

Yeah, Mr krista wants to do this sometime, and we are in full agreement that I won’t be anywhere near the place.  Glad it went well!

Video?

So I did upload the “video” to YouTube.  It’s really just audio.  

I’m not all that proud of the material.  It’s fairly specific but I know the crowd at the “club” I was at.  At least 25% of them are younger comedians or wannabees.  I took the easy route.  And a lot of my jokes/takes are things I’ve had rattling around in my head for a while.  It wasn’t hard to put together 5 mins of crap. 

It’s rough for sure.  I talk way too fast when I’m nervous. 

I also use a stagename.  I just don’t want worlds to collide...at least not yet.  

If you want to hear it, send me a PM. Not ready to broadcast.

 

[kevzilla]

In another major upset, I'm at the bar again. Tonight's band is called Freeze Frame, which should tell you all you need to know. Gonna be a tough slog tonight. 

 

[krista4]

I think he does that quite often, but that one had me chuckling a little too

I like him as a human, but as a poster I always think he's doing some modified Unfrozen Caveman (non-Lawyer) thing.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

In another major upset, I'm at the bar again. Tonight's band is called Freeze Frame, which should tell you all you need to know. Gonna be a tough slog tonight. 

I actually LOLed at the band name.

 

[kevzilla]

I actually LOLed at the band name.

I just hope we're done with Hall & Oates for the night. 

Oh dear. We've hit the Duran Duran section. I'm in trouble here. 

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

I like him as a human, but as a poster I always think he's doing some modified Unfrozen Caveman (non-Lawyer) thing.

We’ve conversed about this but it kills me.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

I just hope we're done with Hall & Oates for the night. 

Oh dear. We've hit the Duran Duran section. I'm in trouble here. 

I will say that Hall and Oates is somehow under-represented in the dueling pianos world.  Strange.

 

[kevzilla]

I will say that Hall and Oates is somehow under-represented in the dueling pianos world.  Strange.

Harrah's on the Strip used to have a very good dueling pianos show with smoking hot twins. Don't know what happened to it.