Dan Lambskin
Footballguy
I think it might still be worth doing but give it a little time. Don’t press but explain this is the first time she’s been in a social setting like that and reacted poorly and would like another chance down the road?
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GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing (10 Viewers)
- Thread starter General Malaise
- Start date
I think it might still be worth doing but give it a little time. Don’t press but explain this is the first time she’s been in a social setting like that and reacted poorly and would like another chance down the road?
GroveDiesel
Footballguy
So after my wife calmed down a bit more we did talk more and it sounds like the no contact thing was suggested for 2 weeks.
But to be honest, there’s only 4 weeks left of school and then they’re all on to our regional high school. I’m a bit torn between trying to make sure she doesn’t get discouraged from trying to make friends in general versus advising her just to move on and not risk any more drama since it will basically be 2 more weeks before school is out at that point and she’ll likely rarely see them at the high school.
My daughter did admit that there were other kids that were picking on her last year saying she had greasy hair and gross teeth. So she felt the need to try to act tough this year so that she wouldn’t get picked on. Really wish she had told us that last year when we kept asking why she was so miserable. Probably could have helped her address things in a healthier manner, but with her autism she has a really hard time expressing how she’s feeling.
If nothing else, I’m definitely trying to get her into some counseling to try to help her with all of this. Just gotta figure out where to start.
Hawks64
Footballguy
Such a tough lesson, sounds like you and your wife are handling things the best possible way.
facook
Footballguy
You're a good dad, Grove. Hang in there.
Frostillicus
Footballguy
sup nerds
cosjobs
Footballguy
Good luck GD. I know you feel your daughters pain and hope things go well for all of you. I'm sure your love and support will help it along. Best wishes for all your family, stay strong and guide them through.
I'm sorry GB.
DA RAIDERS
Footballguy
Remember, Kids are the worst!
My 16 year daughter and her friends have shown me a new level of mean and cruel. The cell phone and the socials have elevated it to new levels. It’s frightening.
ETA: it really ramped up in middle school. Cringeworthy
Last night was prom. My house was one of the hot spots for the kids. Biggest win? Zero drama. It was a freaking miracle!
DA RAIDERS
Footballguy
Just drove by the bbq joint. Easily 40+people in line. I ain’t got time for that nonsense. And you’re waiting in the sun.
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
I don't know why I decided to just check in but here I am.
As you know, I have a lot of experience with our oldest. He turns 19 next week. He got a job two weeks ago as a checker at the grocery store. When he was 14 I didn't know if that would ever be possible. It's heartbreaking and so sorry you all have to go through this.
I'm here for you if you want it. Send me a PM, you can text call or we can exchange e-mails. Happy to help in any way I can.
Love you brother
Thorn
Footballguy
It's who he is
facook
Footballguy
Wingnut
Footballguy
79 year old Robert Deniro and his 64 year old girlfriend, Tiffany Chen, just had a baby. It's Deniro's 7th. His other children range from 11 to 51 years old.
Why??? Neither parent is gonna be in the kids life for very long.
Why??? Neither parent is gonna be in the kids life for very long.
Robert De Niro Confirms Birth of Baby, Now Father of Seven Children at 79
The Oscar-winning actor, who has children ranging in age from 51 to a newborn, broke the news during an interview with ET Canada.
www.hollywoodreporter.com
GroveDiesel
Footballguy
Interesting updates today. My wife talked to the principal today (he reached out to us to discuss) and my perception of what happened/may have happened has changed quite a bit.
Apparently the full “incident” happened in the gym locker room, which is where the previous incident my daughter had happened. And I guess I get maybe child protection reasons, but it turns out that these 8th grade kids have zero supervision in the gym locker rooms.
So the original story that the school was given was that my daughter was chasing around this one girl (the girl in the group she doesn’t really care for) and punched her and then punched another girl in the face. The principal said that after further investigation, they determined that the allegation my daughter punched the other girl in the face was unfounded.
I’m not discounting the possibility still of my daughter punching the first girl, especially if it’s a girl that she doesn’t particularly like. But my daughter has been adamant from the start that this girl just jumped back and yelled “did you just hit me!?” when my daughter hadn’t touched her. I now believe it’s entirely possible that everyone was horsing around which tends to get my daughter cranked up a bit, and then this girl egged her on or did something and then DID yell that out despite my daughter not touching her. That then got the attention of the teacher outside who came in and the girl accused my daughter of hitting her. That girl then went home and told her mom and embellished sayin that my daughter punched another girl in the face and that mom then complained to the school and said my daughter punched her daughter and another girl and the girls were now afraid of her and then the school acted on that telling of the story.
I’m guessing the school then followed up with the girls and the girl who was allegedly punched in the face said she wasn’t punched at all.
An interesting twist now is that my wife is somewhat friendly with the mom of the girl who was not actually punched in the face. My wife doesn’t have the bandwidth to follow up immediately, but is planning on touching base next week to see if she can maybe get more info from the mom and maybe even see if the mom can get more info from her daughter so we have a better picture of what happened. First and foremost is finding out whether her daughter said my daughter punched her or if it was someone else that made that claim. I’m guessing for the school to definitively say it was unfounded, the girl said herself that she wasn’t punched.
So either my daughter punched another kid and is bald faced lying to us and we need to deal with it, or this girl she doesn’t get along with has lied and really screwed over my daughter. Or maybe the truth lies somewhere in the middle (like they were horsing around, my daughter “hit” her while chasing her around and it got blown out of proportion).
The principal did say they were going to investigate a bit more which I think is absolutely warranted at this point because it sure seems like their initial reaction was based on some pretty limited information.
Apparently the full “incident” happened in the gym locker room, which is where the previous incident my daughter had happened. And I guess I get maybe child protection reasons, but it turns out that these 8th grade kids have zero supervision in the gym locker rooms.
So the original story that the school was given was that my daughter was chasing around this one girl (the girl in the group she doesn’t really care for) and punched her and then punched another girl in the face. The principal said that after further investigation, they determined that the allegation my daughter punched the other girl in the face was unfounded.
I’m not discounting the possibility still of my daughter punching the first girl, especially if it’s a girl that she doesn’t particularly like. But my daughter has been adamant from the start that this girl just jumped back and yelled “did you just hit me!?” when my daughter hadn’t touched her. I now believe it’s entirely possible that everyone was horsing around which tends to get my daughter cranked up a bit, and then this girl egged her on or did something and then DID yell that out despite my daughter not touching her. That then got the attention of the teacher outside who came in and the girl accused my daughter of hitting her. That girl then went home and told her mom and embellished sayin that my daughter punched another girl in the face and that mom then complained to the school and said my daughter punched her daughter and another girl and the girls were now afraid of her and then the school acted on that telling of the story.
I’m guessing the school then followed up with the girls and the girl who was allegedly punched in the face said she wasn’t punched at all.
An interesting twist now is that my wife is somewhat friendly with the mom of the girl who was not actually punched in the face. My wife doesn’t have the bandwidth to follow up immediately, but is planning on touching base next week to see if she can maybe get more info from the mom and maybe even see if the mom can get more info from her daughter so we have a better picture of what happened. First and foremost is finding out whether her daughter said my daughter punched her or if it was someone else that made that claim. I’m guessing for the school to definitively say it was unfounded, the girl said herself that she wasn’t punched.
So either my daughter punched another kid and is bald faced lying to us and we need to deal with it, or this girl she doesn’t get along with has lied and really screwed over my daughter. Or maybe the truth lies somewhere in the middle (like they were horsing around, my daughter “hit” her while chasing her around and it got blown out of proportion).
The principal did say they were going to investigate a bit more which I think is absolutely warranted at this point because it sure seems like their initial reaction was based on some pretty limited information.
BeTheMatch
Footballguy
Welp, after two years in GM's neighborhood, we're moving back to Minnesota in a couple months.
New Binky the Doormat
Footballguy
mr. furley
Footballguy
i'm failing to see an issue here
facook
Footballguy
General Malaise
Footballguy
Sorry it didn't work out for you, GB. I don't think you got the very best we have to offer out here. That stinks.
Can you elaborate on what you liked and what you didn't like and why you're moving?
BeTheMatch
Footballguy
It wasn't really that it didn't work out. We have no regrets at all. Was a mostly good experience for my son spending his last two years of high school out here. Graduates in less than a month.
His life is pretty up in the air. Still don't know if he's going to stay out here or come back with us. I think either is a good option.
I just really underestimated the friends and (to a lesser extent) family piece of it all.
I'm much more social than my wife, and I've really struggled out here. We absolutely love the outdoors and how much there is to do on that front.
But I really have been bothered by some of the differences in day-to-day life here. I'm generalizing and exaggerating, but the state and local government is basically incompetent - and I'm a lefty lib, so it ain't that.
No one works. So trying to find a vet or a dentist or a doctor or a plumber or a mechanic is next to impossible.
And I guess it's the suburban Minnesota boy in me, but there are just no rules here, or at least no rules/laws enforced. Every car has a million-decibel muffler on it. Every yard is full of clucking chickens and the rats that come with them. Yards are allowed to be junkyards. There are 17 barking dogs in every house. There are homeless people everywhere, including in our neighborhood to a degree.
People drive like idiots. Garbage is everywhere, and I mean everywhere. Gun nuts are everywhere. School board is about to be taken over by whack jobs.
Mental health here is a catastrophic humanitarian crisis and nothing is being done about it.
I could probably put up with it all if we had a social life. But we don't.
So I went to my wife a couple of months ago and said I just couldn't take it anymore. Could she at least reach out to some of her work contacts back in Minnesota to see if there might be some opportunities.
She's an elementary school principal and "kind of a big deal." Well, her old boss moved up to become superintendent at a neighboring district to where we were in Minnesota for years and years, and he basically created a high-level dream job just for her at the district level when she said she might be interested in coming back to Minnesota. So it was a job she couldn't refuse.
She officially accepted two weeks ago, and we just accepted an offer on our house today, so off we go at the end of June.
There are pros and cons to every place. But we're excited to be headed back. Honestly, though, no regrets at all.
Thank you. I don't want to pry and for sure tell me it's not my business if you like, but do you mean more it was difficult to make new friends and find a good social network?
I ask as when I think about moving somewhere, that's my primary thing. I am deeply rooted where we are and giving that up feels big.
mr. furley
Footballguy
feels like the older we get, the harder it is connect and stay connected to new people. friendly neighbors are great. parents of your kid's friends are fine. but the camaraderie that builds long lasting friendships is hard to build without extensive amounts of time spent getting up to shenanigans like when we were kids.
hanging out with Mitzi and Steve from the PTA a couple hours once a month and vaguely chatting about a good handyman to hire is different than spending 3 days straight playing video games, getting wrecked, chasing girls and listening to music with your core group of buddies. there's no replacing that.
not sure if that experience is replicable anymore.
the closest i get to that these days is the Great Taste in Madison every summer. a couple days of debauchery and nonsense with the likes of @bakes, @tangfoot, @The Gator, @Steve Tasker, @Tip Top, @urbanhack and others.
BeTheMatch
Footballguy
Yes. And I'm not exactly a meet new people kind of guy. Others are probably better at it than me. I joined the local country club, but the average age of the other members and potential golfing companions is about 78.
I ref high school football and ump high school baseball, but the group is based out of a town 45 minutes away and most of the group's officials live there. My wife's work friends have never interested me much, but we tried to be more open to that idea here. However, being in somewhat of a smaller town where most of her colleagues were born and raised here, it just never seemed to go anywhere.
Whereas in Minnesota, we both have college friends we're really close with, and we also developed some pretty strong relationships with other people we met through our son's school and sports activities over the years.
General Malaise
Footballguy
That's a pretty extensive list of cons on why you don't like where you live. To be honest, I don't know that I'd like living in McMinnville either. I need a bigger more vibrant city and I'm quite happy to be living in a neighborhood with an onerous HOA that forces owners to keep yards tidy, noise levels down and chickens out.
I can see gun nuts out where you are - we may only be a half-hundred miles apart, but it might as well be another solar system when it comes to residents' views on guns. The state DID vote measure 114 last year, so I'm hopeful most of us in Oregon are for common sense gun reform.
Our current politicians aren't terrific. The people that want to replace them are worse. I'm not sure there are many people living in other states that are head over heels in love with their current politicians, but the ones in Oregon are not going to replace anybody on Rushmore.
It took me a good 2 years to feel like I fit in here. I had to work hard to find and maintain friends. It wasn't easy. There was a point in time where I was ready to move back to Texas with my family and all my friends. I'm glad I stuck it out. I'm stronger for it. I have deeper friendships because of it. But it wasn't easy and at the time and I wasn't married with kids, so I could really put forth an effort. I don't know what in the world I'd do today if I had to start over in a new part of the country.
Good luck with everything and maybe we can grab a beer before you leave.
General Malaise
Footballguy
And I don't care what other views a politician had (well, that's not true) but if a politician ran on a platform of eliminating LOUD MUFFLER GUY he/she/they would get my vote.
Steve Tasker
Footballguy
This may surprise you but I actually haven't been to the Great Taste since 2017. I don't think I've actually seen most of these people in-person in years. I don't think I've seen Bakes since Covid, because he retired and stopped traveling here for work. I saw Hack last time I was in Portland visiting my brother, but I think that was pre-Covid too, fall 2019 I think. Been awhile. The others I can't even remember.
mr. furley
Footballguy
i'm trying to will it in to existence. don't ruin this for me
The Gator
Footballguy
In for this years Great Taste with Gator Bro.
The obvious answer is that we all show up on your doorstep next weekend unannounced. You're going to be home, right?
mr. furley
Footballguy
i literally never leave
hagmania
Footballguy
For any that haven't seen it yet. I love my city. 
BeTheMatch
Footballguy
FantasticFor any that haven't seen it yet. I love my city.
-fish-
Footballguy
hilarious. also that the Atlanta Falcons social media team immediately created the red stallions twitter account.For any that haven't seen it yet. I love my city.
Steve Tasker
Footballguy
I mean, I always keep the 3rd/4th weekends of May open just in case there's another TBSfest......
shuke
Black Ice Skeptic
How do I get an invite to this?
kevzilla
Footballguy
My bipolar friend passed in her sleep Thursday morning. I was prepared long ago, I'm just looking after her adult kids, who view me as something between an uncle and an extra dad.
Somehow probably related: Yesterday I bought a ticket to the Monday night Packers-Raiders game in Vegas on 10/9.
Somehow probably related: Yesterday I bought a ticket to the Monday night Packers-Raiders game in Vegas on 10/9.
Hawks64
Footballguy
Sorry for your loss kev.
I'm sorry, GB. Thank you for being there for her kids.
heckmanm
Footballguy
Consider yourself invited, GB. Although the event itself is likely already sold out, tickets can usually be found. Most of the folks @'ed above are on a beer-themed Discord
mr. furley
Footballguy
lottery closed last night https://greattaste.org/tickets/
but show up in Madison and you'll find one.
BeTheMatch
Footballguy
When is this?
mr. furley
Footballguy
August 12th
BeTheMatch
Footballguy
Well, crap. I'm trying to be more outgoing. Maybe I'll invite myself.
Osaurus
Footballguy
Dang. Gonna miss it by a couple of weeks. I’ll be in Milwaukee 9/1-9/3
shuke
Black Ice Skeptic
They limit attendance?
cosjobs
Footballguy
They should have all been fired if they didn'thilarious. also that the Atlanta Falcons social media team immediately created the red stallions twitter account.For any that haven't seen it yet. I love my city.
cosjobs
Footballguy
Sorry to hear this kev, I know you've been an
important part in her life for a long time.
You've got to be proud of the fact of how you were there for her whenever you could, for what? At least a decade? Maybe much more. Being a good friend to a friend in in need is one of the best ways to live a life.
