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GM's thread about nothing (36 Viewers)

KGB said:
jplvr said:
Sorry to hear DR.I'll try to brighten everyone's night, maybe even yours.I know I live in Alabama and incest jokes are pretty easy, but I had AT LEAST 10 of the most uncomfortable conversations I've ever had tonight. My 2nd cousin got married with a 600 people RSVPing to attend. Lots of hot women there, but every conversation had: "How do you know (the bride)?" "I'm her cousin." "Wait, I'm her cousin." None of us are anywhere near realated, but there were many uncomfortable moments all night long. Even knowing none of us were really realated, I pretty much gave up from the onset considering my middle name is the same as 90% of the guests on the bride's side of the guest list. The "fun" basically came from countless Lebanese mother's attempting to set me up with their daughters, but having to spend several minuts trying to figure out the family tree. Talk about a small world... about 5 years ago, me and a buddy are coming back from Colorado and get stuck in Dallas for the night. A knock-out mid-eastern looking girl is at the bar and we strike up a conversation. Turns out she's a former NFL cheerleader and married to (or marrying) a guy who's the son of a guy who owns a set of restaurants in town. I knew the guy and he wasn't there, but his dad was. I guess we're cousins somehow too. :wall:I've also been drinking, fyi. GB open bar. No liquor, but decent wine and Stella. I'm pretty sure there's on cilantro left in the continental U.S. as the catering service they used depleted it all on the dinner menu.
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If you go anywhere and youre related to 600 people, I assume 300 are horny gals, and yet you cant even try to get laid because youre related to them all.....Time to move :kicksrock:
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Well, I was only actually related to about 100 of them. I knew all of those.I really don't know how to explain it. I might be able to diagram it, but I'm barely sober enough to type jibberish at this point. Basically, think about it this way: there might have been 300 people physically related to the bride. I was only physically related to 100 of them. The remaining 200 of them were related in other ways. The girl who got married was the granddaughter of my grandmother's sister. Most of the people involved in these conversations were relatives of my grandmother's brother in law.
 
Notorious T.R.E. said:
Mark Ronson ft. Amy Winehouse - Valerie
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:pics: One of the songs I listened to on the way to the bar tonight.I enjoy going out. :banned:UFC. Lots of beers. Girls.Pretty sure 6' even is my limit for chicks. Talked to a 6'1" for quite awhile tonight, but ended up pawning her off on my 6'6" buddy. Now her normal sized (5'8") friend loves me.
 
jplvr said:
KGB said:
jplvr said:
Sorry to hear DR.I'll try to brighten everyone's night, maybe even yours.I know I live in Alabama and incest jokes are pretty easy, but I had AT LEAST 10 of the most uncomfortable conversations I've ever had tonight. My 2nd cousin got married with a 600 people RSVPing to attend. Lots of hot women there, but every conversation had: "How do you know (the bride)?" "I'm her cousin." "Wait, I'm her cousin." None of us are anywhere near realated, but there were many uncomfortable moments all night long. Even knowing none of us were really realated, I pretty much gave up from the onset considering my middle name is the same as 90% of the guests on the bride's side of the guest list. The "fun" basically came from countless Lebanese mother's attempting to set me up with their daughters, but having to spend several minuts trying to figure out the family tree. Talk about a small world... about 5 years ago, me and a buddy are coming back from Colorado and get stuck in Dallas for the night. A knock-out mid-eastern looking girl is at the bar and we strike up a conversation. Turns out she's a former NFL cheerleader and married to (or marrying) a guy who's the son of a guy who owns a set of restaurants in town. I knew the guy and he wasn't there, but his dad was. I guess we're cousins somehow too. :wall: I've also been drinking, fyi. GB open bar. No liquor, but decent wine and Stella. I'm pretty sure there's on cilantro left in the continental U.S. as the catering service they used depleted it all on the dinner menu.
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If you go anywhere and youre related to 600 people, I assume 300 are horny gals, and yet you cant even try to get laid because youre related to them all.....Time to move :banned:
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Well, I was only actually related to about 100 of them. I knew all of those.I really don't know how to explain it. I might be able to diagram it, but I'm barely sober enough to type jibberish at this point. Basically, think about it this way: there might have been 300 people physically related to the bride. I was only physically related to 100 of them. The remaining 200 of them were related in other ways. The girl who got married was the granddaughter of my grandmother's sister. Most of the people involved in these conversations were relatives of my grandmother's brother in law.
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Second cousins. Not really that hard, is it?Everyone here is related if you go back far enough. It's an island of half a million people. My greatgrandparents are second cousins. I can talk to someone in the grocery line up and within 5 minutes find out how we are related at least by marriage. Whast that got to do with getting some? :pics:
 
A cool breezy 72 in Newfoundland today. Almost perfect. I know it's all what you're use to but anything over 82 with the humidity we inevitably have and I can barely breathe.

 
jplvr said:
Sorry to hear DR.I'll try to brighten everyone's night, maybe even yours.I know I live in Alabama and incest jokes are pretty easy, but I had AT LEAST 10 of the most uncomfortable conversations I've ever had tonight. My 2nd cousin got married with a 600 people RSVPing to attend. Lots of hot women there, but every conversation had: "How do you know (the bride)?" "I'm her cousin." "Wait, I'm her cousin." None of us are anywhere near realated, but there were many uncomfortable moments all night long. Even knowing none of us were really realated, I pretty much gave up from the onset considering my middle name is the same as 90% of the guests on the bride's side of the guest list. The "fun" basically came from countless Lebanese mother's attempting to set me up with their daughters, but having to spend several minuts trying to figure out the family tree. Talk about a small world... about 5 years ago, me and a buddy are coming back from Colorado and get stuck in Dallas for the night. A knock-out mid-eastern looking girl is at the bar and we strike up a conversation. Turns out she's a former NFL cheerleader and married to (or marrying) a guy who's the son of a guy who owns a set of restaurants in town. I knew the guy and he wasn't there, but his dad was. I guess we're cousins somehow too. :shrug:I've also been drinking, fyi. GB open bar. No liquor, but decent wine and Stella. I'm pretty sure there's on cilantro left in the continental U.S. as the catering service they used depleted it all on the dinner menu.
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:shrug: Jesus...1. jeepeveryone else
 
Liz: Why do you have a picture of my great aunt Dolly?

Gray: Uh no that's my grandmother's cousin Dolly.

Liz: (Along with Gray) Dolly Harlan.

Liz: No I said Dolly

Liz: (Along with Gray) Harlan. From Smithtown.

Liz: Oh my god, we're related. oh, no. oh, god. This is the worst!

Gray: Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt were fifth cousins.

Liz: Ok on the count of three say what level of cousins we'd have to be for this to be ok. One, two, three.

The Hair: Fifth! -- Liz: Unacceptable no matter what.

Gray: This is never gonna work.

Liz: Of course it's not. It never was. This is what i get for trying to be somebody I am not.

Gray: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! look, look, I meant what i said earlier. You are a hair, Liz Lemon. It's in our blood. Accept it. Embrace it. I think we're third cousins.

Liz: Yeah, I'll see you at the reunion. Kind of wish you had a door right now.

 
Notorious T.R.E. said:
Hi. I'm ####hammered. Tat's better on a boat in hayward.
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Better song selection on teh boat for sure.I only had 2 minutes to do a song for America's Got Talent, consensus was to go wif Josh Groban.
 
Bachelor party last night. Got blackout drunk. Ended up at the tittie bar. Called my lady friend to pick me up at three. I'm currently laying in her bed with a monstrous hangover. She went out to get me Indian food and ginger ale. Today is her birthday. I'm a ########.

 
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We spent 6 nights at the Lake Of The Ozarks with some three other couples, the boys and a few of my cousins. So what did we do when we got home yesterday? Relaxed and recouped? No, we went to a wedding reception and then another party at the racetrack after that.

By the way my body feels I must have been drinking kerosene the last 3 or 4 days.

 
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Man I must have been living under a rock for the past few years, how did I only discover Carne Asada Fries :P

Shuke you need to have these asap if you've never had them before.

 
Married wimmin in bars are a lot more fun to flirt with than single chicks.

Just because there's a goalie doesn't mean you can't score.

 
Operation: ODYSSEY was a complete no-go. Baby ran a fever so we came home early after dinner at Mezze (which was very good), but we didn't even make the movie.

I did have this exchange with my 76 year-old FIL today, though:

FIL: I'm finished with this water, would you like the rest?

Me: Sure.

FIL: By the way, I have AIDS.

 
Celph Titled said:
Operation: ODYSSEY was a complete no-go. Baby ran a fever so we came home early after dinner at Mezze (which was very good), but we didn't even make the movie.I did have this exchange with my 76 year-old FIL today, though:FIL: I'm finished with this water, would you like the rest?Me: Sure.FIL: By the way, I have AIDS.
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:shrug:
 
General Malaise said:
krista4 said:
Celph Titled said:
Operation: ODYSSEY was a complete no-go. Baby ran a fever so we came home early after dinner at Mezze (which was very good), but we didn't even make the movie.I did have this exchange with my 76 year-old FIL today, though:FIL: I'm finished with this water, would you like the rest?Me: Sure.FIL: By the way, I have AIDS.
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:shock:
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:goodposting: :shock:
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According to my wife, he also pulled this gag on a nine year-old that he didn't know when they were river-rafting.
 
Celph Titled said:
Finless said:
Celph Titled said:
Finless said:
108 pages :confused: First time checking in. What usually goes on in here?
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:welcome:I invited another GB in today. Looks like the gang's all here.
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I literally noticed this thread like 3 days ago. Is this like the drunk thread where moderation is pretty much ignored?
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Not ignored. You still have to be good in here.
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They only delete the threads I start, not the ones I post in. Off for a bowl of Pho....extra limes.
 
It's a really sad moment when you realize that your life is so boring, you have nothing interesting to post in a thread about nothing.

 
CGRdrJoe said:
I never knew Jeep was middle eastern :excited:
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Great aunt married a Lebanese guy. That part of the family has always been close, so I know more distant cousins on my mom's side of the family as well or better than I know 1st cousins on my dad's side. We still have over 100 people at the family Christmas party on that side of the family each year and the numbers were probably closer to 300 when I was a kid and my great grandfather was still alive.Twas a cool reception, comparable to my Greek buddy's.
 
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Celph Titled said:
YSR said:
It's a really sad moment when you realize that your life is so boring, you have nothing interesting to post in a thread about nothing.
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Update on upcoming proposal?
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He's been shopping and has priced out diamonds. He's asked me to show him pictures of settings I want. I haven't done so and am not sure if I should be reading more into my "not finding time to do so".Frankly, after the HoarderVisit 2010 , I'm a little spooked. The good news is that he's in TN this weekend with his family and I think he's starting to get it.

FYI, if I marry him, this (Caruso) would be my brother in law.

 
Celph Titled said:
Mr. Pickles said:
Remind me not to get involved in any legal debates. It's like studying for an exam.
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You and Maurile did a good job in there. Although the other side really doesn't have much to go on.
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Last time I did this, I argued with Christo for about eight pages about "high crimes and misdemeanors." After it was over, I wanted to take an ice pick to my brain. I forget that there are about 800 lawyers on this site, but Christo is a very special snowflake.
 
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