GM's thread about nothing (21 Viewers)

[General Malaise]

Please try.

Well, she got up in front of the room and immediately launched into a diatribe about how horrible my first marriage was, and how my father wrote me a letter prior to my previous wedding day, advising me not to go through with it and how by the end of the marriage, I was a beaten little man who couldn't find his smile. She continued to tell the crowd how I informed them a few months after my divorce that I was dating somebody (a fact they could tell already because I was now "full of glee" and not "mopey and said"), and when asked who it was, I told her "Well, you know her....it's the nanny", which despite being known by all previously, still elicited some 'ohhhs' and 'awwwws', as well as some stifled chuckles from my buddies, who were enjoying the trainwreck. Then she told them all that her initial reaction was one of horror, not because I was actually dating an employee and the child's caretaker, which would no doubt cause a firestorm when my ex-wife learned of it, but was worried sick I meant the OTHER nanny. We had 2 at the time and the other one is.....how do I put this politely....ugly as sin? So she basically told the crowd that she thought I was dating the ugly nanny. She was expecting a huge laugh, but she got crickets. It was awkward.

Did your mother know the other nanny had been invited to the wedding?

I really thought Flags exaggerated.

 

[Jewell]

I really like Kylie Minogue.

Oh, to be a bear.

 

[krista4]

I just scrambled home from work because the alarm company called and said the alarm was going off and police had been dispatched. Got home to find it was because the HOA decided to jackhammer the sidewalk in front of the house today.

We've had various false alarms since moving here, ranging from my opening a patio door that I shouldn't have to Mr. krista4 leaving our housesitters the wrong code when we went out of town (the code is four digits; he got none of them right). And damned if the Memphis city cops aren't just as nice as they can be every time. I'm usually left profusely apologizing for wasting their time while they continually assure me that's it no problem and they're happy to help. GB the South in this regard. Or maybe they're just happy for a break from the real crime here. In either case, in contrast, when we had a false alarm in Chicago, we'd receive a bill from the police in our mailbox (not kidding).

 

[Early_10]

Well, she got up in front of the room and immediately launched into a diatribe about how horrible my first marriage was, and how my father wrote me a letter prior to my previous wedding day, advising me not to go through with it and how by the end of the marriage, I was a beaten little man who couldn't find his smile. She continued to tell the crowd how I informed them a few months after my divorce that I was dating somebody (a fact they could tell already because I was now "full of glee" and not "mopey and said"), and when asked who it was, I told her "Well, you know her....it's the nanny", which despite being known by all previously, still elicited some 'ohhhs' and 'awwwws', as well as some stifled chuckles from my buddies, who were enjoying the trainwreck. Then she told them all that her initial reaction was one of horror, not because I was actually dating an employee and the child's caretaker, which would no doubt cause a firestorm when my ex-wife learned of it, but was worried sick I meant the OTHER nanny. We had 2 at the time and the other one is.....how do I put this politely....ugly as sin? So she basically told the crowd that she thought I was dating the ugly nanny. She was expecting a huge laugh, but she got crickets. It was awkward.

Did your mother know the other nanny had been invited to the wedding?

I really thought Flags exaggerated.

The note to you before the wedding...thats pretty mean.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

I just scrambled home from work because the alarm company called and said the alarm was going off and police had been dispatched. Got home to find it was because the HOA decided to jackhammer the sidewalk in front of the house today. We've had various false alarms since moving here, ranging from my opening a patio door that I shouldn't have to Mr. krista4 leaving our housesitters the wrong code when we went out of town (the code is four digits; he got none of them right). And damned if the Memphis city cops aren't just as nice as they can be every time. I'm usually left profusely apologizing for wasting their time while they continually assure me that's it no problem and they're happy to help. GB the South in this regard. Or maybe they're just happy for a break from the real crime here. In either case, in contrast, when we had a false alarm in Chicago, we'd receive a bill from the police in our mailbox (not kidding).

Do you live in Memphis proper?

 

[General Malaise]

The note to you before the wedding...thats pretty mean.

Oh. I was hoping for clarification on the other comment.The letter was mean? It was a father imploring his son not to make a mistake.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

Well, she got up in front of the room and immediately launched into a diatribe about how horrible my first marriage was, and how my father wrote me a letter prior to my previous wedding day, advising me not to go through with it and how by the end of the marriage, I was a beaten little man who couldn't find his smile. She continued to tell the crowd how I informed them a few months after my divorce that I was dating somebody (a fact they could tell already because I was now "full of glee" and not "mopey and said"), and when asked who it was, I told her "Well, you know her....it's the nanny", which despite being known by all previously, still elicited some 'ohhhs' and 'awwwws', as well as some stifled chuckles from my buddies, who were enjoying the trainwreck. Then she told them all that her initial reaction was one of horror, not because I was actually dating an employee and the child's caretaker, which would no doubt cause a firestorm when my ex-wife learned of it, but was worried sick I meant the OTHER nanny. We had 2 at the time and the other one is.....how do I put this politely....ugly as sin? So she basically told the crowd that she thought I was dating the ugly nanny. She was expecting a huge laugh, but she got crickets. It was awkward.

Did your mother know the other nanny had been invited to the wedding?

I really thought Flags exaggerated.

The note to you before the wedding...thats pretty mean.

Sometimes the truth hurts. That doesn't make it mean.

 

[charvik]

The note to you before the wedding...thats pretty mean.

Oh. I was hoping for clarification on the other comment.The letter was mean? It was a father imploring his son not to make a mistake.

Having met your dad, he doesn't strike me as someone that would randomly make such remarks without being very serious. I refuse to believe he would make a mean remark, or mean it to be taken as mean.

 

[General Malaise]

Did your mother know the other nanny had been invited to the wedding?

I really thought Flags exaggerated.

The note to you before the wedding...thats pretty mean.

Sometimes the truth hurts. That doesn't make it mean.

One of my groomsmen (for both weddings) also wrote to me, imploring me to think really hard about going through with it. He witnessed an ugly ugly scene at a bar once and never could forget it. Neither my dad nor my buddy had ever talked prior before sending me their concerns. Mean? I think they were just looking out for me.

 

[General Malaise]

The note to you before the wedding...thats pretty mean.

Oh. I was hoping for clarification on the other comment.The letter was mean? It was a father imploring his son not to make a mistake.

Having met your dad, he doesn't strike me as someone that would randomly make such remarks without being very serious. I refuse to believe he would make a mean remark, or mean it to be taken as mean.

Exactly. My dad is a very reserved man.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

I've been best man in 4 weddings. Each time I've told the groom we can be in Vegas in 4 hours or less if he wants to back out now.

Some day someone will be smart and take me up on the offer.

 

[Early_10]

I really thought Flags exaggerated.

The note to you before the wedding...thats pretty mean.

Sometimes the truth hurts. That doesn't make it mean.

One of my groomsmen (for both weddings) also wrote to me, imploring me to think really hard about going through with it. He witnessed an ugly ugly scene at a bar once and never could forget it. Neither my dad nor my buddy had ever talked prior before sending me their concerns. Mean? I think they were just looking out for me.

I thought she exaggerated when she said they hated her. You had clearly made your decision. Mistake or not, family stands behind you. If not for your "mistake" there'd be no Cooper or Kellan. Damn good mistake if you ask me.

 

[krista4]

I just scrambled home from work because the alarm company called and said the alarm was going off and police had been dispatched. Got home to find it was because the HOA decided to jackhammer the sidewalk in front of the house today. We've had various false alarms since moving here, ranging from my opening a patio door that I shouldn't have to Mr. krista4 leaving our housesitters the wrong code when we went out of town (the code is four digits; he got none of them right). And damned if the Memphis city cops aren't just as nice as they can be every time. I'm usually left profusely apologizing for wasting their time while they continually assure me that's it no problem and they're happy to help. GB the South in this regard. Or maybe they're just happy for a break from the real crime here. In either case, in contrast, when we had a false alarm in Chicago, we'd receive a bill from the police in our mailbox (not kidding).

Do you live in Memphis proper?

Yes.

 

[General Malaise]

I thought she exaggerated when she said they hated her. You had clearly made your decision. Mistake or not, family stands behind you. If not for your "mistake" there'd be no Cooper or Kellan. Damn good mistake if you ask me.

They didn't hate her. They just didn't think we were a good match, nor did they feel like she wanted anything to do with them, which, without going into too much detail, isn't a ludicrous deduction on their part. I went through with the wedding because I felt like they were wrong and because we loved each other. And despite the fact that it was a bad fit, I don't regret it for the very reasons you cite. If I could change anything, I would have ended the marriage in 2005, but I think fear and finances forced us to try and fix it as best we could. I still don't know what Carolina's comment means.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

I have a GB who met a woman for whom he was horribly matched. But he didn't see it. I met her after most of our friends, but I'd heard from a friend that she didn't like our buddy Matt. Insanity! EVERYBODY likes Matt. The only people who dislike Matt are exes. Was she an ex-? No? I can't comprehend how this is possible.

So, the time comes to meet this woman. At a bar. My wife, who probably falls just below Matt on the "Gets along with everybody and is generally well-liked" scale, turns to me two beers into the night and says, "Holy ####. She's domineering. He's going to marry this #####?" There was tension in the air all night. It was unreal. I thought they might come to blows at one point.

But nobody said anything. I suppose they were "nice".

The wedding day comes and it's hotter than hell outside. It's overcast, but damn is it muggy. And the wedding's outside. There's sweat dripping off the chins of groomsmen and ushers. I assume the being who possessed this woman's soul was in attendance, driving the temp up a solid 10 degrees above normal. At some point in the ceremony, the minion of honor fainted. They had to stop for 10 minutes to get her a chair and a glass of water and make sure she wasn't going to immediately return to attending to the poor sonsa#####es who didn't make it past St. Peter.

As it gets to, "If anyone knows any reason why these two should not be..."

*BOOM!*

First clap of thunder all day. Are you there, god? It's me, inevitable divorce.

Let's try that again. "If anyone knows any reason why these two should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace."

Everybody in attendance turned to look at Matt. You could actually HEAR all the heads of people at the wedding turning at the same time. "They're related! They're second cousins! Their children might have 3 heads!!1" SAY IT!!! Something! ANYTHING!

But neither God nor the voices screaming in my head could sway them. On they went. They were happily married for about a year. They were divorced by the third. But people were "nice" and didn't say anything before the wedding. Not that he would have listened anyway. Still, somebody should have smacked him in the back of the head and least had the common courtesy to pop off a, "Congratulations you poor, dumb *******" when they got engaged.

 

[krista4]

I like "minion of honor".

Forgot to say congrats on the new addition, Frost!

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Still, somebody should have smacked him in the back of the head and least had the common courtesy to pop off a, "Congratulations you poor, dumb *******" when they got engaged.

 

[General Malaise]

I have a GB who met a woman for whom he was horribly matched. But he didn't see it. I met her after most of our friends, but I'd heard from a friend that she didn't like our buddy Matt. Insanity! EVERYBODY likes Matt. The only people who dislike Matt are exes. Was she an ex-? No? I can't comprehend how this is possible.So, the time comes to meet this woman. At a bar. My wife, who probably falls just below Matt on the "Gets along with everybody and is generally well-liked" scale, turns to me two beers into the night and says, "Holy ####. She's domineering. He's going to marry this #####?" There was tension in the air all night. It was unreal. I thought they might come to blows at one point.But nobody said anything. I suppose they were "nice".The wedding day comes and it's hotter than hell outside. It's overcast, but damn is it muggy. And the wedding's outside. There's sweat dripping off the chins of groomsmen and ushers. I assume the being who possessed this woman's soul was in attendance, driving the temp up a solid 10 degrees above normal. At some point in the ceremony, the minion of honor fainted. They had to stop for 10 minutes to get her a chair and a glass of water and make sure she wasn't going to immediately return to attending to the poor sonsa#####es who didn't make it past St. Peter.As it gets to, "If anyone knows any reason why these two should not be..." *BOOM!* First clap of thunder all day. Are you there, god? It's me, inevitable divorce. Let's try that again. "If anyone knows any reason why these two should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace." Everybody in attendance turned to look at Matt. You could actually HEAR all the heads of people at the wedding turning at the same time. "They're related! They're second cousins! Their children might have 3 heads!!1" SAY IT!!! Something! ANYTHING!But neither God nor the voices screaming in my head could sway them. On they went. They were happily married for about a year. They were divorced by the third. But people were "nice" and didn't say anything before the wedding. Not that he would have listened anyway. Still, somebody should have smacked him in the back of the head and least had the common courtesy to pop off a, "Congratulations you poor, dumb *******" when they got engaged.

Was she at least hot? I had that going for me.....

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Suck it, Dungy.

 

[kevzilla]

That was the hardest I have ever worked in the gym. I was pretty light-headed the last five minutes, but completed my high-intensity interval training. Even now, 30 minutes later, I feel like I'm sunburned on the inside.

I turned up the resistance on the elliptical from level two to level three.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

I have a GB who met a woman for whom he was horribly matched. But he didn't see it. I met her after most of our friends, but I'd heard from a friend that she didn't like our buddy Matt. Insanity! EVERYBODY likes Matt. The only people who dislike Matt are exes. Was she an ex-? No? I can't comprehend how this is possible.So, the time comes to meet this woman. At a bar. My wife, who probably falls just below Matt on the "Gets along with everybody and is generally well-liked" scale, turns to me two beers into the night and says, "Holy ####. She's domineering. He's going to marry this #####?" There was tension in the air all night. It was unreal. I thought they might come to blows at one point.But nobody said anything. I suppose they were "nice".The wedding day comes and it's hotter than hell outside. It's overcast, but damn is it muggy. And the wedding's outside. There's sweat dripping off the chins of groomsmen and ushers. I assume the being who possessed this woman's soul was in attendance, driving the temp up a solid 10 degrees above normal. At some point in the ceremony, the minion of honor fainted. They had to stop for 10 minutes to get her a chair and a glass of water and make sure she wasn't going to immediately return to attending to the poor sonsa#####es who didn't make it past St. Peter.As it gets to, "If anyone knows any reason why these two should not be..." *BOOM!* First clap of thunder all day. Are you there, god? It's me, inevitable divorce. Let's try that again. "If anyone knows any reason why these two should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace." Everybody in attendance turned to look at Matt. You could actually HEAR all the heads of people at the wedding turning at the same time. "They're related! They're second cousins! Their children might have 3 heads!!1" SAY IT!!! Something! ANYTHING!But neither God nor the voices screaming in my head could sway them. On they went. They were happily married for about a year. They were divorced by the third. But people were "nice" and didn't say anything before the wedding. Not that he would have listened anyway. Still, somebody should have smacked him in the back of the head and least had the common courtesy to pop off a, "Congratulations you poor, dumb *******" when they got engaged.

Was she at least hot? I had that going for me.....

She had big boobs and...well, she had big boobs. He did a lot better, and frequently, when we were in college. If he averaged pulling a 7.5 throughout our college career, she was probably a 6. Hell, his second wife (seriously, I don't get you people) was probably in the 7-8 range. The whole thing was just mind-boggling, really.

 

[Giant Wooden Badger]

I've been best man in 4 weddings. Each time I've told the groom we can be in Vegas in 4 hours or less if he wants to back out now. Some day someone will be smart and take me up on the offer.

I've been the BM twice and have offered the same (only not to Vegas). It's the most important job the BM has, IMO. My BM made me the same offer. I declined but appreciated the sentiment.

 

[videoguy505]

I've been best man in 4 weddings. Each time I've told the groom we can be in Vegas in 4 hours or less if he wants to back out now. Some day someone will be smart and take me up on the offer.

I've been the BM twice and have offered the same (only not to Vegas). It's the most important job the BM has, IMO. My BM made me the same offer. I declined but appreciated the sentiment.

I make the same offer... 'Vegas or Mexico in 3 hours or less, don't have to say goodbye to anyone, we can leave right now, keys in hand, car in front' at every wedding. Never been taken up on it, but I'd do it in a heartbeat.

 

[Tremendous Upside]

Note to self: Set up fake wedding and ask Tre to be best man

 

[Giant Wooden Badger]

Note to self: Set up fake wedding and ask Tre to be best man

Good plan.I wish my BM had taken me up on my offer when I was his best man. He was divorced in less than 2 years.

 

[shut it down]

Note to self: Set up fake wedding and ask Tre to be best man

He's pretty good at it, apparently.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Note to self: Set up fake wedding and ask Tre to be best man

He's pretty good at it, apparently.

 

[EYLive]

One of these days I'm gonna quit Mafia Wars and start playing Farmville.

 

[Radio Free Homer]

One of these days I'm gonna quit Mafia Wars and start playing Farmville.

http://www.cybernation.com/images/success/goals_ski.gif

 

[Exit 1]

Have to go to the grocery store for a few items after work.....

What's a good dessert that I should try?

(it can be from the frozen section, fresh section, wherever)

 

[shut it down]

Have to go to the grocery store for a few items after work.....What's a good dessert that I should try?(it can be from the frozen section, fresh section, wherever)

Blueberries.

 

[Running with scissors]

Feetprints

By: shamelessly stolen from a comedian I saw this week

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord… and my mom.

Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.

In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.

Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,

other times there were one set of footprints,

and sometimes there were three sets of footprints, .

This bothered me because I noticed

that during the low periods of my life,

when I was suffering from

anguish, sorrow or defeat,

I could see only one set of footprints.

Or two sets of footprints.

Or sometimes three sets of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,

"You promised me Lord,

that if I followed you,

you would walk with me always.

But I have noticed that during

the most trying periods of my life

there have only been one

set of footprints in the sand.

Or sometimes two sets of footprints.

Or sometimes three sets of footprints.

Why, when I needed you most,

you have not been there for me?"

The Lord replied,

"The times when you have

seen only one set of footprints,

is when I carried you."

My mother said “Sometimes I carried you too.”

And the Lord said “Oh yeah, right.”

 

[Running with scissors]

My mother continued “And sometimes when there were only two sets of footprints, it was because you were a fetus and I was carrying you”

“That was before I met the Lord.”

And the Lord said “And sometimes there was only one set of footprints, because your mom was really pregnant and tired and stuff, and I carried her.

And she carried you.”

And my mom said “And there was that one time that there were not footprints,

but just a big messed up spot;

that was when I gave birth to you.

And after that, there were two sets of footprints,

and one really small set of footprints.”

“But mostly there were two sets of footprints because I carried you.

You were really small.

And the Lord chimed in “And sometimes there was just one set of footprints

because your mom had just given birth and she was really tired,

so I carried her, and she carried you.”

“And sometimes,” my mom said "there’d be no footprints because I’d be carrying you, and the Lord would be carrying me and he’d be flying.”

And I asked the Lord “You can fly?”

And he said “Yep.”

 

[Running with scissors]

“And remember that time that I had twins by immaculate conception?”

The lord replied “Yes… that’s… what it was.”

“Sometimes there were five sets of footprints in the sand.

Or sometimes three sets of footprints in the sand

Or sometimes two, or one,

or sometimes none, because I was flying again.”

“And then the twins flew away,

and there were three sets of footprints,

or there were two sets of footprints,

other times there were one set of footprints.”

And then I said “Well I’m glad we had this conversation.

It really cleared up a lot for me.”

And the Lord said “Yes, we should do it again some time.”

And my mom said “Yes, that would be nice.”

 

[EYLive]

 

[shut it down]

I decided to go with "Hangin' with Mr. Dungy" as my team name this year. Too soon?

 

[Radio Free Homer]

I decided to go with "Hangin' with Mr. Dungy" as my team name this year. Too soon?

Meh.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

I decided to go with "Hangin' with Mr. Dungy" as my team name this year. Too soon?

Any way you can photoshop this? http://www.skooldays.com/images/pt1123.jpgCould be huge.

 

[Thorn]

I'm leaning towards "Vajazzled."

 

[Tremendous Upside]

Have to go to the grocery store for a few items after work.....What's a good dessert that I should try?(it can be from the frozen section, fresh section, wherever)

Ice Pops

 

[General Malaise]

Rothlisberged-er

 

[General Malaise]

Have to go to the grocery store for a few items after work.....What's a good dessert that I should try?(it can be from the frozen section, fresh section, wherever)

Ice Pops

Drumsticks are vastly underrated.

 

[EYLive]

Have to go to the grocery store for a few items after work.....

What's a good dessert that I should try?

(it can be from the frozen section, fresh section, wherever)

Ice Pops

Drumsticks are vastly underrated.

ChocoTaco

 

[Exit 1]

Have to go to the grocery store for a few items after work.....What's a good dessert that I should try?(it can be from the frozen section, fresh section, wherever)

Ice Pops

Drumsticks are vastly underrated.

Thanks, all. I'm thinking about a big ### chocolate cake with chocolate fudge icing with a glass of milk.

 

[General Malaise]

Not a big cake guy. Not really much of a sweets eater. But a box of ice cream sandwiches will last 1 maybe 2 days in my freezer.

 

[bigbottom]

My two sons are modeling clothes in a fashion show benefit tonight. Take that GM!

 

[shut it down]

I decided to go with "Hangin' with Mr. Dungy" as my team name this year. Too soon?

Meh.

Park51 Secret Plot to Destroy America won't fit.

 

[Radio Free Homer]

My two sons are modeling clothes in a fashion show benefit tonight. Take that GM!

Gay Off!!!!

 

[Aunt Beru]

Can't keep up with this thread.

 

[Running with scissors]

Can't keep up with this thread.

It is the Usain Bolt of the FFA.