What's new
Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums

This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

GM's thread about nothing (28 Viewers)

'Homer J Simpson said:
'cosjobs said:
I need to pick up a car in Covington at the airport. A flight from Austin costs about $550 one way, but I can get into Dayton or Columbus for about $200.How easy is it to get from Day or Col to CVG?
Click to expand...
Dayton would be easy. Maybe an hour down 75. But you have to drive the car back to Austin? When and why?
Click to expand...
:goodposting: Columbus is going to be a bit farther away, but Dayton is easily doable. Depending when you arrive, Shuke or I could probably pick you up and drive you from DAY to CVG
 
'shuke said:
'Guster said:
Just got done with the division of spices. Now onto the "um...I bought those humidifiers at Target. You were there. You helped me pick them out" :wall: :wall: :wall:
Click to expand...
Oh jesus.
Click to expand...
'Bogart said:
'Guster said:
Just got done with the division of spices. Now onto the "um...I bought those humidifiers at Target. You were there. You helped me pick them out" :wall: :wall: :wall:
Click to expand...
Ouch.Thoprawishes.
Click to expand...
Up for tonight? Who gets the 1/2 used bottle of ketchup?? No! I want that 1/4 of a box of spaghetti. Her pettiness is making me petty. I didn't care about most of that crap until she started claiming it was hers.I never thought it would get to the level of literally taking a mostly used bottle of BBQ sauce with her. :shrug:
 
'cosjobs said:
I need to pick up a car in Covington at the airport. A flight from Austin costs about $550 one way, but I can get into Dayton or Columbus for about $200.How easy is it to get from Day or Col to CVG?
Click to expand...
Either would be fine. Dayton would be closer.Or you could just pay me, Guster, and Homer to drive the car to Austin for you. Road trip.
 
'Guster said:
'shuke said:
'Guster said:
Just got done with the division of spices. Now onto the "um...I bought those humidifiers at Target. You were there. You helped me pick them out" :wall: :wall: :wall:
Click to expand...
Oh jesus.
Click to expand...
'Bogart said:
'Guster said:
Just got done with the division of spices. Now onto the "um...I bought those humidifiers at Target. You were there. You helped me pick them out" :wall: :wall: :wall:
Click to expand...
Ouch.Thoprawishes.
Click to expand...
Up for tonight? Who gets the 1/2 used bottle of ketchup?? No! I want that 1/4 of a box of spaghetti. Her pettiness is making me petty. I didn't care about most of that crap until she started claiming it was hers.I never thought it would get to the level of literally taking a mostly used bottle of BBQ sauce with her. :shrug:
Click to expand...
And this is with your ex-girlfriend????
 
'Guster said:
'urbanhack said:
And this is with your ex-girlfriend????
Click to expand...
yeah, i guess since we didn't buy much big stuff together, that she has decided to focus on the little, unimportant things instead. she also likes f'ing with my head as a game, so it could be part of that:bye:
Click to expand...
Give her everything. And I mean everything. Make her take #### she'd never in a million years want. You've probably got too much #### anyway. "Oh, don't forget the jar of pickle juice. And the comforter with the stain on it. Remember me fondly."
 
'Bob Sacamano said:
'Guster said:
'urbanhack said:
And this is with your ex-girlfriend????
Click to expand...
yeah, i guess since we didn't buy much big stuff together, that she has decided to focus on the little, unimportant things instead. she also likes f'ing with my head as a game, so it could be part of that:bye:
Click to expand...
Give her everything. And I mean everything. Make her take #### she'd never in a million years want. You've probably got too much #### anyway. "Oh, don't forget the jar of pickle juice. And the comforter with the stain on it. Remember me fondly."
Click to expand...
:goodposting:
 
'Guster said:
'Thorn said:
They sell ketchup and BBQ sauce at stores and stuff.
Click to expand...
woah woah woah, back the horse up here... they do what now??we don't all make north of boston lawyer salaries around here! ;)
Click to expand...
We'll chip in. I'll commit to the first $25 for groceries. Empty the fridge, the freezer, the linen closet, the cabinet under the sink that has like half a can of Raid and dishwashing detergent with congealed #### all around the cap, the medicine cabinet, the cabinet under the sink in the bathroom, most of the bathroom closet, and everything under the bed. That should be a good start. Make sure she has to make multiple trips. When she leaves, go to the neighbors' and find #### they don't want anymore. Give her all of that, too.
 
'Bob Sacamano said:
'Guster said:
'urbanhack said:
And this is with your ex-girlfriend????
Click to expand...
yeah, i guess since we didn't buy much big stuff together, that she has decided to focus on the little, unimportant things instead. she also likes f'ing with my head as a game, so it could be part of that:bye:
Click to expand...
Give her everything. And I mean everything. Make her take #### she'd never in a million years want. You've probably got too much #### anyway. "Oh, don't forget the jar of pickle juice. And the comforter with the stain on it. Remember me fondly."
Click to expand...
:goodposting: I know your situation is different from mine, but when I moved out, I took my clothes, my laptop and my toothbrush and hit the road. Granted I had kids and didn't want to take anything away from them, but I took the stance that I want out of this relationship more than I want any stuff.She has sense sorted our movies, set aside all of my music and started a pile in the garage that is mine to take away when she moves in April. Letting her make all the decisions on what is hers and what is mine made things much smoother and I probably end up getting more stuff (that I don't need) in the long run.
 
'Guster said:
'Homer J Simpson said:
'cosjobs said:
I need to pick up a car in Covington at the airport. A flight from Austin costs about $550 one way, but I can get into Dayton or Columbus for about $200.How easy is it to get from Day or Col to CVG?
Click to expand...
Dayton would be easy. Maybe an hour down 75. But you have to drive the car back to Austin? When and why?
Click to expand...
:goodposting: Columbus is going to be a bit farther away, but Dayton is easily doable. Depending when you arrive, Shuke or I could probably pick you up and drive you from DAY to CVG
Click to expand...
I bought the car two weeks ago. The company that was supposed to deliver it did not. We have now fired them and got a new company that supposed to do it. They said 7-10 more biz days.I'm tempted to just fly up and drive it down myself, but it does not make sense financially if the airfare is too high.I could get up there Thur, leave Fri and home before super bowl.Or do it next week.Or just wait for delivery.Just got back from Portland, so I need to review my calendar and see if I could get away with a road trip so soon.
 
'shuke said:
'General Malaise said:
But you have been against increasing the innings for a few years now
Click to expand...
No, I really haven't. I've already said I don't give a ####. I'm not the commish. I believe the spot is open, as it has been for 7 years. If you want to take the reigns and start changing rules and stuff, by all means feel free. I'm just trying to help organize the draft.Make the rules whatever you want them to be, I will still dominate you.
Click to expand...
that gave me a boner
 
'JerseyToughGuys said:
'proninja said:
I need to retroactively make a resolution to not discuss anything that involves politics on this board. Nobody learns anything, nobody cares about anything but shouting the other side down, and it's the same people who have been having the same arguments for years. Bah.
Click to expand...
Good post.Bdeep and Bobby Sac have gone too far with the whole "NJ has stupid laws" business. Too far!~
Click to expand...
it wasn't my fault, the toxic gas vapors clouded my mind!!!!!DAMN YOU SELF SERVICE!!!!
 
'Osaurus said:
'B-Deep said:
are we allowed to say boner?
Click to expand...
Just be mindful when using in a sentence with the word "soaking". :unsure:
Click to expand...
how about this:Not being a highly trained professional gas pumper, I inadvertently pressed the handle before inserting the pump into the car, thus soaking my dockers and the bulging boner they were restraining. I was one spark away from charred ####. If only I had gassed up in Jersey...
 
'B-Deep said:
'Osaurus said:
'B-Deep said:
are we allowed to say boner?
Click to expand...
Just be mindful when using in a sentence with the word "soaking". :unsure:
Click to expand...
how about this:Not being a highly trained professional gas pumper, I inadvertently pressed the handle before inserting the pump into the car, thus soaking my dockers and the bulging boner they were restraining. I was one spark away from charred ####. If only I had gassed up in Jersey...
Click to expand...
Nice
 
'B-Deep said:
'Osaurus said:
'B-Deep said:
are we allowed to say boner?
Click to expand...
Just be mindful when using in a sentence with the word "soaking". :unsure:
Click to expand...
how about this:Not being a highly trained professional gas pumper, I inadvertently pressed the handle before inserting the pump into the car, thus soaking my dockers and the bulging boner they were restraining. I was one spark away from charred ####. If only I had gassed up in Jersey...
Click to expand...
sorry about your impending boner cancer, bro.
 
'JerseyToughGuys said:
'B-Deep said:
'Osaurus said:
'B-Deep said:
are we allowed to say boner?
Click to expand...
Just be mindful when using in a sentence with the word "soaking". :unsure:
Click to expand...
how about this:Not being a highly trained professional gas pumper, I inadvertently pressed the handle before inserting the pump into the car, thus soaking my dockers and the bulging boner they were restraining. I was one spark away from charred ####. If only I had gassed up in Jersey...
Click to expand...
sorry about your impending boner cancer, bro.
Click to expand...
:lmao:
 
Cute professor class in tee minus 15. I have pics of dead puppies and Rosanne Arnold's boobies on my ipod to counter the books-rising-in-my-lap syndrome.

Please send thoughts & prayers in my difficult hour. Thanks.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Isn't if funny how one little thing can just make your day?

On my way back from the mini-mart on my break I turn on the radio and the local JackFM thingy is playing "London Calling". I'm thinking of making my kids listen to a big chunk of the album during the upcoming "reading for pleasure" period.

 
'Bob Sacamano said:
'Guster said:
'Thorn said:
They sell ketchup and BBQ sauce at stores and stuff.
Click to expand...
woah woah woah, back the horse up here... they do what now??we don't all make north of boston lawyer salaries around here! ;)
Click to expand...
We'll chip in. I'll commit to the first $25 for groceries. Empty the fridge, the freezer, the linen closet, the cabinet under the sink that has like half a can of Raid and dishwashing detergent with congealed #### all around the cap, the medicine cabinet, the cabinet under the sink in the bathroom, most of the bathroom closet, and everything under the bed. That should be a good start. Make sure she has to make multiple trips. When she leaves, go to the neighbors' and find #### they don't want anymore. Give her all of that, too.
Click to expand...
:lmao:she already packed up all the bathroom supplies. after the great spice draft of last night, i think you're right that i just need to let her pick what she wants while i sit in my chair and drink
 
What is going on in here?? Why are we discussing topics such as fantasy baseball, gas pumping, dividing up assets with ex GFs, planning car trips and whatever the hell "ROCKGATE" is?? Whatever happened to stories about sharting or erotic love making? I'll save my sharting story for later, but as for erotic love-making.... get comfortable and adjust your pants:

My 22 year old "friend" lives with her parents who are very strict about everything including the fact that she is to be home and sleeping in her own bed every night. Her parents have been away on a trip for the last few days which meant 22 YO could do whatever she pleases (mostly me) I didn't have Little Zooks last night, so it was just me and the ever so tight 22 YO.

After watching a movie we went upstairs. After some innocent fooling around she had mentioned not feeling that great from dinner and that she was really tired and that she just wanted to cuddle and fall asleep in my arms. I looked her in the eyes and said "sweetie I'm so glad you said that, because that's all I really want to do too" she said "really?" I said "Are you nuts? I wanna bang until my pecker falls off and then you can cuddle with my passed out corpse of a body" She laughed and then reminded me that I could either cuddle with her sweet behind or watch her sweet behind walk out the door. Cuddle-Mode Activated.

We woke this morning knowing we both had to go to work. Planning ahead, I had already told everyone in my office that I would be in late. She rolled over when the alarm on her cell phone went off at about 6:30. She is blonde and goes tanning frequently so let me tell there is not a more beautiful site than seeing her get out from under the sheets wearing a white thong and my white Celtic T-Shirt. She has absolutely FORBIDDEN that any "inappropriate pictures" of her ever be taken with my phone and I see no need to risk what I have with her to attempt it. I do have some "appropriate pics" of her so just try to imagine this innocent looking thing wearing a thong and C's T-shirt. As she reached for her phone, the TShirt moved up and her golden tanned bum was staring at me and as she slowly and erotically shook her hips, that wonderful smooth behind was giving me an unspoken invitation to explore. As if she was reading my mind, in one quick motion she somehow majestically flipped her 105 pound body over on top of me and locked her lips onto mine while aggressive rubbing her 22 year old girlie parts against my somewhat modest 36 year old man parts. Her tongue was deep in my mouth and mine in hers. Soon her shirt was off and my face was buried in her bronzed bossom. The Celts shirt she was wearing was on the floor and soon it was joined by her thong.

I watched as she layed on her back and opened a condom wrapper with her right hand and her teeth while she used her left hand to grab a special part of me and use it to tease herself. Much like Hock Meng Tay staring at a tv screen showing CNBC, I gazed at her gyrating "woman area" and in my mind I compared it to the Sistine Chappel, I was indeed looking at a Puscasso. She got moaned as she got lost in the moment and then erotically screamed "NOW" and tried to pull me into her secret garden of pleasure, but I pulled away almost taunting her before I slid down the bed and explored her using my tongue as the tour guide. My tongue got more exercise than a Tony Horton DVD. The words "Wet and Wild" may be used to describe a water park, but those words did not do justice to what was happening on this beautiful morning. Picture those Cytheria Oranges that GM had yesterday. (was it pulp?? oh no, no sir it wasn't) It was an intimate and emotional bonding experience that lasted for 26 wet and sloppy minutes before she finally grabbed me by me ears and pulled my face up to hers and her legs wrapped around my body and pulled me in and she had no intention of letting me go.

Upon completion, we layed there exhausted, satisfied and glowing (ok, I think I felt like I was glowing and I'm not even sure what that means) She left to go home and get ready for work. For some reason I walked around my house naked and shouted "USA USA USA USA" I drank the most satisfying and refreshing glass of orange juice I've ever tasted. I really think that OJ just tastes better after secks in the morning. Then again, I think everything is better after secks in the morning. I wish I could share this feeling with all of you. I wish I could hug you all, well most of you at least.

I honestly can't remember the last time I had a morning like this one. My smile won't go away, and instead of walking it feels like I'm gliding. I know that someday this 22 YO gift from the heavens is going to wake up and realize she's wasting her time with me, and that day could be soon, but I will always have this epic memory of her and I for those lonely nights when it will be just me and the crock pot. God bless us all. Each and every one of us. Even Tanner.

 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

General Malaise
GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing
1856 1857 1858
Replies
93K
Views
3M
-fish-
-fish-
T
***Official 2014 GMTAN Draft Thread***
34 35 36
Replies
2K
Views
45K
El Floppo
El Floppo
Early_10
***Official*** Seinfeld draft thread
25 26 27
Replies
1K
Views
36K
The Dreaded Marco
The Dreaded Marco

Users who are viewing this thread

Total: 26 (members: 0, guests: 26)
Back
Top