GM's thread about nothing (22 Viewers)

[Samuel L Bronkowitz]

but 3 years ago some people brought guns and started shooting, causing a bit of a riot.

I like this part.

Yeah, it escalated quickly

 

[General Malaise]

The Hunger Games thread is pretty damn entertaining. Apparently lots of people who don't read like making fun of the people who do read because of what they read. Sort of like high school, only with beer bellies and magic football.

Shuke and I invented "Hunger Games". We should get partial credit here.Is Hunger Games any good? Is it better than "Girl with the Dragon Tattoo"? That's the last fiction book I read and it was goodish...not blown away.

 

[cosjobs]

Running a 10k in the morning. I got my number assingment based on my finish from last year. When I picked my number up, the girl said that I must be quite fast. Was "That's what my wife says" an improper response?

Sun came out today for the first time in centuries and I went for a run outside. I'm now sporting a sweet 'pinkish hue' all over my fat face.

Also, Coop and I have decided to grow our hair out and donate it to Locks of Love. My wife says I won't make it and she's probably right, but daydreaming of a thick, white pony-tail has me drooling.

ponytails rock

Gray hair will be accepted and sold to offset the manufacturing costs.

 

[Samuel L Bronkowitz]

Running a 10k in the morning. I got my number assingment based on my finish from last year. When I picked my number up, the girl said that I must be quite fast. Was "That's what my wife says" an improper response?

Sun came out today for the first time in centuries and I went for a run outside. I'm now sporting a sweet 'pinkish hue' all over my fat face.

Also, Coop and I have decided to grow our hair out and donate it to Locks of Love. My wife says I won't make it and she's probably right, but daydreaming of a thick, white pony-tail has me drooling.

ponytails rock

I picture this

 

[General Malaise]

Hunger Games = Justin Bieber?

They're both aimed at tween/teenage girls?

Like "Twighlight"?

 

[Samuel L Bronkowitz]

The Hunger Games thread is pretty damn entertaining. Apparently lots of people who don't read like making fun of the people who do read because of what they read. Sort of like high school, only with beer bellies and magic football.

Shuke and I invented "Hunger Games". We should get partial credit here.Is Hunger Games any good? Is it better than "Girl with the Dragon Tattoo"? That's the last fiction book I read and it was goodish...not blown away.

You invented teenagers killing each other for sustenance? Nice work

 

[General Malaise]

My hair is pretty long right now and I'm over-due for a hair cut. But long for me is not really long...it's just hard to manage. I love it high and tight; easy to take care of. If I do this (and I'm pretty sure another week of this and I'll cave) I'm going to need some fashion help. I don't want really long bangs, but that's what I had as a skater in the 80's. I also could sleep in class because of my bangs. That's how I failed out of AP Math.

Cooper actually looks pretty cool with his long hair. He might make it. I'm hoping he does. Good cause.

 

[Marvin]

The Hunger Games thread is pretty damn entertaining. Apparently lots of people who don't read like making fun of the people who do read because of what they read. Sort of like high school, only with beer bellies and magic football.

Shuke and I invented "Hunger Games". We should get partial credit here.Is Hunger Games any good? Is it better than "Girl with the Dragon Tattoo"? That's the last fiction book I read and it was goodish...not blown away.

Hunger Games is a pretty good Young Adult book. I would have a hard time recommending it to an adult male. I haven't read Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.

 

[General Malaise]

The Hunger Games thread is pretty damn entertaining. Apparently lots of people who don't read like making fun of the people who do read because of what they read. Sort of like high school, only with beer bellies and magic football.

Shuke and I invented "Hunger Games". We should get partial credit here.Is Hunger Games any good? Is it better than "Girl with the Dragon Tattoo"? That's the last fiction book I read and it was goodish...not blown away.

You invented teenagers killing each other for sustenance? Nice work

What? No, that's gay. We invented strangers taking pictures of themselves angrily eating lunch and posting it on message boards. HUNGER GAMES - EAT OFF!!!! Same thing.

 

[General Malaise]

The Hunger Games thread is pretty damn entertaining. Apparently lots of people who don't read like making fun of the people who do read because of what they read. Sort of like high school, only with beer bellies and magic football.

Shuke and I invented "Hunger Games". We should get partial credit here.Is Hunger Games any good? Is it better than "Girl with the Dragon Tattoo"? That's the last fiction book I read and it was goodish...not blown away.

Hunger Games is a pretty good Young Adult book. I would have a hard time recommending it to an adult male. I haven't read Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.

DaVinci Code was a huge hit once. I hated that book. Didn't even finish. Tried books on tape once on a long car trip. Couldn't finish it. Made it half way through the rental DVD and fell asleep. Going to go read some fantasy baseball columns.

 

[Samuel L Bronkowitz]

The Hunger Games thread is pretty damn entertaining. Apparently lots of people who don't read like making fun of the people who do read because of what they read. Sort of like high school, only with beer bellies and magic football.

Shuke and I invented "Hunger Games". We should get partial credit here.Is Hunger Games any good? Is it better than "Girl with the Dragon Tattoo"? That's the last fiction book I read and it was goodish...not blown away.

Hunger Games is a pretty good Young Adult book. I would have a hard time recommending it to an adult male. I haven't read Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.

DaVinci Code was a huge hit once. I hated that book. Didn't even finish. Tried books on tape once on a long car trip. Couldn't finish it. Made it half way through the rental DVD and fell asleep. Going to go read some fantasy baseball columns.

I have 11 guys coming over for a draft tomorrow morning. Got any pointers for me?

 

[proninja]

proninja> I thought I was going to have to do some apologizing in here after my morning caffeine-inspired rant. But no no. Your friends are hip and funny and weren't scared away by the caffeinated lit-geek loser.

My friends who respond to non-political posts are pretty rad

Threw a politcal facebook post out there tonight re: Santorum winning Louisiana. Santorum wants to get rid of porn. New Orleans females earn plastic beads by showing their hooters. How does he win that state? They have drive-thru daquari (sp?) huts ALL over the state...you can drive through, order a 76 OZ alcoholic beverage and drive off. There are live sex shows in New Orleans. They backed Santorum. HOW? WHY? Mind boggling....

I saw that and would have responded, but I'm on a self imposed political hiatus on Facebook after I spent a month or so yelling at dumb republicans and realized how unproductive that was.

 

[Marvin]

Hunger Games = Justin Bieber?

They're both aimed at tween/teenage girls?

Like "Twighlight"?

You're doing this just to #### with us now, aren't you?

 

[Samuel L Bronkowitz]

Hunger Games = Justin Bieber?

They're both aimed at tween/teenage girls?

Like "Twighlight"?

You're doing this just to #### with us now, aren't you?

I did a double take and just scrolled past

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

Hunger Games = Justin Bieber?

They're both aimed at tween/teenage girls?

Like "Twighlight"?

You're doing this just to #### with us now, aren't you?

Has to be shtick at this point.

 

[Samuel L Bronkowitz]

Anyone got a really offensive FBB team name?

 

[Osaurus]

Requested music on its way cross-country via USPS.

Did you post the albums yet?

No....probably next month.

 

[heckmanm]

Hunger Games = Justin Bieber?

They're both aimed at tween/teenage girls?

Hunger Games = Justin Bieber = ?

 

[Mr.Pack]

Anyone got a really offensive FBB team name?

Name? Or a really offensive icon to with a name?

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Running a 10k in the morning. I got my number assingment based on my finish from last year. When I picked my number up, the girl said that I must be quite fast. Was "That's what my wife says" an improper response?

That's exactly what I would have said so I'm guessing yes.

Headed out to a date with a woman I really shouldn't be dating, which I expect will be the beginning of a three to four-week roller coaster ending in disaster. Here we go again.

You've been awfully quiet about this stuff lately.

Last week for St Pattys Day, there were was an "uprising" at the bars downtown and the cops forced everything to close around midnight. There used to be a festival called Riversplash where a 10 block radius would be shut down for concerts and other festival fare, but 3 years ago some people brought guns and started shooting, causing a bit of a riot. That festival has since been shut down.SO I get in the cab tonight to get home and I have a black driver. His first words were "I'm so happy you're white. I hate black people" He continues "Don't get me wrong, I love my people but they always have to cause #### that costs me money. You know what I'm saying?" "The ####### blacks caused Riversplash to shut down when they came in shooting for no reason. They ####### got St Patricks Day shut down by starting fights. I hate when they come out to the bars!"I wasn't sure where to go but just said "Yeah man, I understand why your frustrated. You lost a lot of fares"Then he started talking about Uganda and Idi Amin. 20 minutes later I got home. I don't think I've ever had a more uncomfortable cab ride in my life. Even worse than when TRE started talking soccer with the Ghanan fellow.

Were you wearing a ghost costume?

 

[Osaurus]

Hunger Games is sponsored by Snickers?

 

[-fish-]

Headed out to a date with a woman I really shouldn't be dating, which I expect will be the beginning of a three to four-week roller coaster ending in disaster. Here we go again.

You've been awfully quiet about this stuff lately.

I try to keep my exploits entertaining. Lately they've just been depressing. For now, HJS, zooks and guster will have to keep filling the void (see what I did there?)

 

[Marvin]

Headed out to a date with a woman I really shouldn't be dating, which I expect will be the beginning of a three to four-week roller coaster ending in disaster. Here we go again.

You've been awfully quiet about this stuff lately.

I try to keep my exploits entertaining. Lately they've just been depressing. For now, HJS, zooks and guster will have to keep filling the void (see what I did there?)

Feel free to post the depressing exploits. Things like that make me feel better about myself. All those guys pulling strange tail just makes me yearn.

 

[Gadzooks]

Headed out to a date with a woman I really shouldn't be dating, which I expect will be the beginning of a three to four-week roller coaster ending in disaster. Here we go again.

You've been awfully quiet about this stuff lately.

I try to keep my exploits entertaining. Lately they've just been depressing. For now, HJS, zooks and guster will have to keep filling the void (see what I did there?)

Feel free to post the depressing exploits. Things like that make me feel better about myself. All those guys pulling strange tail just makes me yearn.

Pretty sure I dedicated a video text to you last night. That didn't make you feel better about yourself?

 

[General Malaise]

Running a 10k in the morning. I got my number assingment based on my finish from last year. When I picked my number up, the girl said that I must be quite fast. Was "That's what my wife says" an improper response?

Sun came out today for the first time in centuries and I went for a run outside. I'm now sporting a sweet 'pinkish hue' all over my fat face.

Also, Coop and I have decided to grow our hair out and donate it to Locks of Love. My wife says I won't make it and she's probably right, but daydreaming of a thick, white pony-tail has me drooling.

ponytails rock

Gray hair will be accepted and sold to offset the manufacturing costs.

Well, the fact that you HAVE a pony tail is still pretty cool. At least you look like a guy that should have one. I'm going to look like a fat version of that dork that pitched Encylopedia Britanica back in the 90s.

 

[General Malaise]

proninja> I thought I was going to have to do some apologizing in here after my morning caffeine-inspired rant. But no no. Your friends are hip and funny and weren't scared away by the caffeinated lit-geek loser.

My friends who respond to non-political posts are pretty rad

Threw a politcal facebook post out there tonight re: Santorum winning Louisiana. Santorum wants to get rid of porn. New Orleans females earn plastic beads by showing their hooters. How does he win that state? They have drive-thru daquari (sp?) huts ALL over the state...you can drive through, order a 76 OZ alcoholic beverage and drive off. There are live sex shows in New Orleans. They backed Santorum. HOW? WHY? Mind boggling....

I saw that and would have responded, but I'm on a self imposed political hiatus on Facebook after I spent a month or so yelling at dumb republicans and realized how unproductive that was.

I took my post down. I'll limit my political baiting to the FFA. Don't really want to turn into THAT GUY on facebook.

 

[General Malaise]

Hunger Games = Justin Bieber?

They're both aimed at tween/teenage girls?

Like "Twighlight"?

You're doing this just to #### with us now, aren't you?

Has to be shtick at this point.

You know, or the bottle of Pinot Noir and the three Ninkasi Spring Ales. It WAS 11pm on a Saturday.

 

[Marvin]

Headed out to a date with a woman I really shouldn't be dating, which I expect will be the beginning of a three to four-week roller coaster ending in disaster. Here we go again.

You've been awfully quiet about this stuff lately.

I try to keep my exploits entertaining. Lately they've just been depressing. For now, HJS, zooks and guster will have to keep filling the void (see what I did there?)

Feel free to post the depressing exploits. Things like that make me feel better about myself. All those guys pulling strange tail just makes me yearn.

Pretty sure I dedicated a video text to you last night. That didn't make you feel better about yourself?

Yeah, it didn't work. Thanks though.

 

[Marvin]

Running a 10k in the morning. I got my number assingment based on my finish from last year. When I picked my number up, the girl said that I must be quite fast. Was "That's what my wife says" an improper response?

Sun came out today for the first time in centuries and I went for a run outside. I'm now sporting a sweet 'pinkish hue' all over my fat face.

Also, Coop and I have decided to grow our hair out and donate it to Locks of Love. My wife says I won't make it and she's probably right, but daydreaming of a thick, white pony-tail has me drooling.

ponytails rock

Gray hair will be accepted and sold to offset the manufacturing costs.

Well, the fact that you HAVE a pony tail is still pretty cool. At least you look like a guy that should have one. I'm going to look like a fat version of that dork that pitched Encylopedia Britanica back in the 90s.

Oh hello

 

[Jeff Vader]

Zooks> I don't know why, but whenever the 22 year old posts something on your FB wall, or you "like" something she does, I get a notice on my newsfeed.

I am not stalking her. Even if I wanted to I'm way too busy lately and frankly, cheers for you and all, but I'm surrounded by hot 22 year olds all day long.

My theory is FB knows I like the funny. And this girl is indeed funny. Either that or FB has bugged my laptop and knows about this place.

 

[cosjobs]

Hunger Games = Justin Bieber?

They're both aimed at tween/teenage girls?

Like "Twighlight"?

You're doing this just to #### with us now, aren't you?

Has to be shtick at this point.

You know, or the bottle of Pinot Noir and the three Ninkasi Spring Ales. It WAS 11pm on a Saturday.

Misspellings >>> gibberish

 

[Samuel L Bronkowitz]

Last week for St Pattys Day, there were was an "uprising" at the bars downtown and the cops forced everything to close around midnight. There used to be a festival called Riversplash where a 10 block radius would be shut down for concerts and other festival fare, but 3 years ago some people brought guns and started shooting, causing a bit of a riot. That festival has since been shut down.SO I get in the cab tonight to get home and I have a black driver. His first words were "I'm so happy you're white. I hate black people" He continues "Don't get me wrong, I love my people but they always have to cause #### that costs me money. You know what I'm saying?" "The ####### blacks caused Riversplash to shut down when they came in shooting for no reason. They ####### got St Patricks Day shut down by starting fights. I hate when they come out to the bars!"I wasn't sure where to go but just said "Yeah man, I understand why your frustrated. You lost a lot of fares"Then he started talking about Uganda and Idi Amin. 20 minutes later I got home. I don't think I've ever had a more uncomfortable cab ride in my life. Even worse than when TRE started talking soccer with the Ghanan fellow.

Were you wearing a ghost costume?

No I left that at home. He scared me

 

[Tiger Fan]

proninja> I thought I was going to have to do some apologizing in here after my morning caffeine-inspired rant. But no no. Your friends are hip and funny and weren't scared away by the caffeinated lit-geek loser.

My friends who respond to non-political posts are pretty rad

Threw a politcal facebook post out there tonight re: Santorum winning Louisiana. Santorum wants to get rid of porn. New Orleans females earn plastic beads by showing their hooters. How does he win that state? They have drive-thru daquari (sp?) huts ALL over the state...you can drive through, order a 76 OZ alcoholic beverage and drive off. There are live sex shows in New Orleans. They backed Santorum. HOW? WHY? Mind boggling....

i doubt he won new orleans. lots of crazy jesus people outside of NOLAETA: guess you blocked me from reading that post GB

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Headed out to a date with a woman I really shouldn't be dating, which I expect will be the beginning of a three to four-week roller coaster ending in disaster. Here we go again.

You've been awfully quiet about this stuff lately.

I try to keep my exploits entertaining. Lately they've just been depressing. For now, HJS, zooks and guster will have to keep filling the void (see what I did there?)

Feel free to post the depressing exploits. Things like that make me feel better about myself. All those guys pulling strange tail just makes me yearn.

GM, the genius's in Jeff City running mizzourra spent 7 million on a primary where your vote didn't even decide who got the delegates. Afterwards they chastised the public for the low voter turn out. Have I mentioned my hate for politicians lately?

 

[Marvin]

Headed out to a date with a woman I really shouldn't be dating, which I expect will be the beginning of a three to four-week roller coaster ending in disaster. Here we go again.

You've been awfully quiet about this stuff lately.

I try to keep my exploits entertaining. Lately they've just been depressing. For now, HJS, zooks and guster will have to keep filling the void (see what I did there?)

Feel free to post the depressing exploits. Things like that make me feel better about myself. All those guys pulling strange tail just makes me yearn.

GM, the genius's in Jeff City running mizzourra spent 7 million on a primary where your vote didn't even decide who got the delegates. Afterwards they chastised the public for the low voter turn out. Have I mentioned my hate for politicians lately?

Are you trying to make GM feel better?

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Headed out to a date with a woman I really shouldn't be dating, which I expect will be the beginning of a three to four-week roller coaster ending in disaster. Here we go again.

You've been awfully quiet about this stuff lately.

I try to keep my exploits entertaining. Lately they've just been depressing. For now, HJS, zooks and guster will have to keep filling the void (see what I did there?)

Feel free to post the depressing exploits. Things like that make me feel better about myself. All those guys pulling strange tail just makes me yearn.

GM, the genius's in Jeff City running mizzourra spent 7 million on a primary where your vote didn't even decide who got the delegates. Afterwards they chastised the public for the low voter turn out. Have I mentioned my hate for politicians lately?

Are you trying to make GM feel better?

 

[Osaurus]

Lazy Man's pork cooking and tomorrow off.

 

[Mr.Pack]

Anyone got a really offensive FBB team name?

Hope I didn't scar you for life with that PM GB.

 

[Samuel L Bronkowitz]

Anyone got a really offensive FBB team name?

Hope I didn't scar you for life with that PM GB.

Good God man, what is wrong with you?! Christo thinks that's out of line.

 

[Mr.Pack]

Anyone got a really offensive FBB team name?

Hope I didn't scar you for life with that PM GB.

Good God man, what is wrong with you?! Christo thinks that's out of line.

You asked for offensive.

 

[mr. furley]

His first words were "I'm so happy you're white.

you're white?

 

[Annyong]

Anyone got a really offensive FBB team name?

Hope I didn't scar you for life with that PM GB.

Good God man, what is wrong with you?! Christo thinks that's out of line.

Labia Blasters

 

[Mr.Pack]

Anyone got a really offensive FBB team name?

Hope I didn't scar you for life with that PM GB.

Good God man, what is wrong with you?! Christo thinks that's out of line.

Labia Blasters

Chak-O-Lit StarfishBut it was the accompanying picture that has scarred him.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

I'm bored. Should've started drinking earlier.

 

[proninja]

So, I was sort of thinking about not mentioning this since it's embarrassing, but last night I burned the back side of my house pretty bad with some poor charcoal management. Had three fire departments respond, I was *really* lucky that the fire didn't get into the attic. I got to put a fire out with a garden hose then watch the fire guys tear my house apart looking for something smoldering.

One of my upstairs renters looked outside to a wall of fire and called 911. This is roughly the same point in time I realized my house was on fire, and ran out back to get the garden hose (which was luckily just far enough from the fire to not get burned/melted), put the fire out downstairs, then went up on the deck to put it out upstairs. He's a little melodramatic, and apparently told the dispatcher that the entire house was engulfed in flames, because the 911 dispatcher was very forceful to him that we needed to evacuate the house. I told him to piss off, and went into the attic to see if there was any fire up there. Apparently my first reaction when my house is on fire isn't to take instruction from people trying to help, it's to put some damn water on the fire so my house doesn't burn down.

So, the message the firefighters get from dispatch (after talking to the chief for a while) is "fully involved housefire, four occupants refusing to vacate."

The whole friggin' cavalry showed up. At one point in time I think I had nine emergency vehicles from three departments around my house. Which, by the way, is not on fire anymore. They had their little heat sensing camera that could tell where any hot spots were, so they beat out some holes in the ceiling/wall, tramped around the house, then we had to wait an hour for the fire investigator to show up and make a report.

The really embarrassing part is that my dad just retired after 35 years in a local fire department, I called him to see what was going on, so he puts on his "retired firefighter" coat and comes out - which I wanted him to do, but I gave him #### for the wardrobe change before he came over. He's going to give me #### for setting my house on fire for years.

Everything's fine, everybody's ok, my roof is still on, and I'm probably not going to get to that first batch of beer brewing on Thursday like I'd hoped.

edit: view from my front yard last night

 

[Mr.Pack]

So, I was sort of thinking about not mentioning this since it's embarrassing, but last night I burned the back side of my house pretty bad with some poor charcoal management. Had three fire departments respond, I was *really* lucky that the fire didn't get into the attic. I got to put a fire out with a garden hose then watch the fire guys tear my house apart looking for something smoldering.

One of my upstairs renters looked outside to a wall of fire and called 911. This is roughly the same point in time I realized my house was on fire, and ran out back to get the garden hose (which was luckily just far enough from the fire to not get burned/melted), put the fire out downstairs, then went up on the deck to put it out upstairs. He's a little melodramatic, and apparently told the dispatcher that the entire house was engulfed in flames, because the 911 dispatcher was very forceful to him that we needed to evacuate the house. I told him to piss off, and went into the attic to see if there was any fire up there. Apparently my first reaction when my house is on fire isn't to take instruction from people trying to help, it's to put some damn water on the fire so my house doesn't burn down.

So, the message the firefighters get from dispatch (after talking to the chief for a while) is "fully involved housefire, four occupants refusing to vacate."

The whole friggin' cavalry showed up. At one point in time I think I had nine emergency vehicles from three departments around my house. Which, by the way, is not on fire anymore. They had their little heat sensing camera that could tell where any hot spots were, so they beat out some holes in the ceiling/wall, tramped around the house, then we had to wait an hour for the fire investigator to show up and make a report.

The really embarrassing part is that my dad just retired after 35 years in a local fire department, I called him to see what was going on, so he puts on his "retired firefighter" coat and comes out - which I wanted him to do, but I gave him #### for the wardrobe change before he came over. He's going to give me #### for setting my house on fire for years.

Everything's fine, everybody's ok, my roof is still on, and I'm probably not going to get to that first batch of beer brewing on Thursday like I'd hoped.

edit: view from my front yard last night

Happy everyone is ok.......

 

[Homer J Simpson]

So, I was sort of thinking about not mentioning this since it's embarrassing, but last night I burned the back side of my house pretty bad with some poor charcoal management. Had three fire departments respond, I was *really* lucky that the fire didn't get into the attic. I got to put a fire out with a garden hose then watch the fire guys tear my house apart looking for something smoldering.

One of my upstairs renters looked outside to a wall of fire and called 911. This is roughly the same point in time I realized my house was on fire, and ran out back to get the garden hose (which was luckily just far enough from the fire to not get burned/melted), put the fire out downstairs, then went up on the deck to put it out upstairs. He's a little melodramatic, and apparently told the dispatcher that the entire house was engulfed in flames, because the 911 dispatcher was very forceful to him that we needed to evacuate the house. I told him to piss off, and went into the attic to see if there was any fire up there. Apparently my first reaction when my house is on fire isn't to take instruction from people trying to help, it's to put some damn water on the fire so my house doesn't burn down.

So, the message the firefighters get from dispatch (after talking to the chief for a while) is "fully involved housefire, four occupants refusing to vacate."

The whole friggin' cavalry showed up. At one point in time I think I had nine emergency vehicles from three departments around my house. Which, by the way, is not on fire anymore. They had their little heat sensing camera that could tell where any hot spots were, so they beat out some holes in the ceiling/wall, tramped around the house, then we had to wait an hour for the fire investigator to show up and make a report.

The really embarrassing part is that my dad just retired after 35 years in a local fire department, I called him to see what was going on, so he puts on his "retired firefighter" coat and comes out - which I wanted him to do, but I gave him #### for the wardrobe change before he came over. He's going to give me #### for setting my house on fire for years.

Everything's fine, everybody's ok, my roof is still on, and I'm probably not going to get to that first batch of beer brewing on Thursday like I'd hoped.

edit: view from my front yard last night

Same as me, you should've started drinking earlier.

 

[proninja]

 

[AhrnCityPahnder]

His first words were "I'm so happy you're white.

I say this to every white person I meet.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

His first words were "I'm so happy you're white.

I say this to every white person I meet.