I'm in a cafe in my hometown. In the next booth is a white dude with dreads and a braided beard. He's desperately trying to sell a "gemstone collection with some jade pieces that are um like probably from a few ancient South American sites" on his smartphone to no less than 6 different dealers in the past 30 minutes. He's currently looking up more dealers on his laptop.
Also present are requisite numbers of hipsters and artsy hot chicks. The walls are adorned with crappy local art drawn in charcoal. Mostly ugly women in hijabs.
I know what you're thinking:
Vader is in his element. The thing is, I keep thinking about how great it'd be if a ####faced GMTAN crew rolled into this place at peak hours. A drunk Tanner pretending to be interested in the bearded guy's gems would be
For added weirdness, as I was writing this a barista walked by with a leather notebook labeled
STRENGTH in huge letters, asking if any of us lost it.
Who needs drugs in a place like this?