General Malaise
Footballguy
Nice! Alki Beach is an awesome place, especially in the summer. You're going to love it there.
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GM's thread about nothing (62 Viewers)
- Thread starter General Malaise
- Start date
phishphan
Footballguy
LYLAS,Susie
Marvin
Footballguy
Dan,Get a haircut and work on your calf-raises.See you next year.Coach Gilchrist
phishphan
Footballguy
Going to be pretty close to there. Within walking distance anyway. Pretty excited.Alki Beach is an awesome place, especially in the summer. You're going to love it there.
Homer J Simpson
I don't push
Somehow, a place called Alki Beach sound like a perfect location for a GMTAN cornhole. 
Disco Stu
Confirmed FBGal
Before next fall you're in need of a serious attitude adjustment, young man. You'd better get your priorities straight.And watch out with that other crowd you're runnin' with. Don't think I haven't noticed.
Bogart
Footballguy
I may play ball next fall, but I will never sign that. Now me and my loser friends are gonna head out to buy Aerosmith tickets. Top priority of the summer.Before next fall you're in need of a serious attitude adjustment, young man. You'd better get your priorities straight.And watch out with that other crowd you're runnin' with. Don't think I haven't noticed.
Notorious T.R.E.
Showdown!™ Administrator
Working from home today so I can smoke 4 chickens in the egg. SPATCHCOCK, INDEED
Bogart
Footballguy
When I work from home, I only make crock pot chicken.Multiple times throughout the day.
Notorious T.R.E.
Showdown!™ Administrator
I fear for your laptop keyboard.
Captain Quinoa
Footballguy
2 Bald2 Be'Marvin said:Bob,Can't believe we're graduating! It was cool having two classes with you this year. You're a crazy, cool dude.'St. Louis Bob said:'Stoneys said:'Marvin said:Cat Shirt BobFootball 9,10,11,12'St. Louis Bob said:I meant, I think most people meant, the time off, not the job itself. I go insane after being around my own kids too long. I can't imagine being around 30 of them every day. I would be eating faces in no time.As far as the ATM, I've never done it but I imagine being the 3rd or 4th in line would stink.
'Marvin said:Our senior pictures were only accompanied by what sports or clubs we were involved in. Dickmittens left mine off.
Letterman Club 11,12
Binge Drinking Club 10,11,12
Future Internet Legends Club 11,12
I'll never forget that shirt you always wore with the dog on it (spuds mckenzie?) haha. You also have cool hair.
Anyway have a great summer.
Smitty
------
4 gotten
Marvin
Footballguy
I can see it all now, this is gonna be just like last summer. You fell in love with that girl at the Fotomat, you bought forty dollars worth of ####in' film, and you never even talked to her. You don't even own a camera.'Bogart said:I may play ball next fall, but I will never sign that. Now me and my loser friends are gonna head out to buy Aerosmith tickets. Top priority of the summer.'Disco Stu said:Before next fall you're in need of a serious attitude adjustment, young man. You'd better get your priorities straight.And watch out with that other crowd you're runnin' with. Don't think I haven't noticed.'phishphan said:'Marvin said:
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
'Marvin said:
My two favorite from grade school:The second one is from my GB that got married a couple of weekends ago.
Heading to the cabin tomorrow with my family, expect drunk, bored, texts for the next 7 nights.'YSR said:
This might need to be added to the master index if this plays out right/wrong.'General Malaise said:Nice! Alki Beach is an awesome place, especially in the summer. You're going to love it there.'Aaron Rudnicki said:
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Oh yeah, SLB has an ongoing beer commercial at his neighborhood pool but all the people (and possibly his wife) are swingers.
Forgot to include that one.
Forgot to include that one.
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Marvin
Footballguy
This year I signed most of them."It was an honor being your favorite teacher this year"or"Roses are readviolets are bluesometimes poems don't make any sensebanana glue America stapler"
Disco Stu
Confirmed FBGal
If you ever do decide to change careers, "I taught your boyfriend that thing you like" would make a good sendoff.
Marvin
Footballguy
If I signed them with complete honesty and didn't like my job..."You'll be pregnant by 10th grade.""I'm going to contact every senior I know at CHS and have them beat the #### out of you every day of your freshman year.""I know you'll be moving on to HS but tell your mom not to be a stranger.""Just quit band right now. Playing the tuba never got anyone laid. Take up the guitar.""All the teachers call you 'Stinky Kid with a Boner' behind your back. Work on that by next year."If you ever do decide to change careers, "I taught your boyfriend that thing you like" would make a good sendoff.
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Bogart
Footballguy
If I signed them with complete honesty and didn't like my job..."You'll be pregnant by 10th grade.""I'm going to contact every senior I know at CHS and have them beat the #### out of you every day of your freshman year.""I know you'll be moving on to HS but tell your mom not to be a stranger.""Just quit band right now. Playing the tuba never got anyone laid. Take up the guitar.""All the teachers call you 'Stinky Kid with a Boner' behind your back. Work on that by next year."If you ever do decide to change careers, "I taught your boyfriend that thing you like" would make a good sendoff.
And you want to leave all this behind???
General Malaise
Footballguy
I've heard it said once or twice that everybody has one unique gift in life and though I'd like to believe mine is related to my unparalleled love making skills or my ability to drive better than everybody else on the road, I've learned over the years that my proprietary trait involves coaxing others - whether it's intended or not - to open up and share with me personal details of their lives that I couldn't imagine divulging. And when I say 'others', I don't just mean people I know - this happens with complete strangers and it happens to me ALL.THE.TIME.
Saturday night, I board an airplane on a solo mission to Michigan. Spirit Air has generously sat me in the middle seat between two heavy set females (one of them balding) directly behind a seat that was broken and in my lap from takeoff to landing. It was a flight from Portland to Las Vegas, so not terribly long, but long enough that the discomfort would prevent me from stealing some much needed sleep and certainly long enough to hear the life story of Patsy, the gal to my right who was probably 70 years old, easily 275 pounds and again, shedding more hair than German Sheppard in Death Valley.
I could tell she was a little nervous and when she had to ring her call button to ask the flight attendant for a lap belt extender, I could sense her embarrassment and so decided I'd not be a jerk and stick the headphones in right away to shun any more of her questions.
As the flight progressed, Patsy opened up and gave me her life story. Her current weight was a major reduction from where she once was in life, thanks to an operation to shrink her stomach. She told me about her three kids, including the one with Schizophrenia who calls her a dozen times a day for no real reason at all. He still lives with her most of the time and when he doesn't, she worries to death about him, wondering when the call will come saying he is in jail or dead. She told me about the house foreclosure and her husband's job loss and her own. And she talked about her son who married a girl that hates Patsy and won't let her near the grandkids. She was going to Michigan to see a sister she hadn't seen in 15 years. There was little doubt about it - life had kicked poor Patsy square in the teeth.
So when the flight attendant told me it was more economical to buy two Budweisers instead of just one, I told her to make it two and gave one of them to Patsy. She could not have been more thankful. I spent the rest of the flight just listening to her. In fact, her favorite hobby is canning food, which until Saturday, I didn't know WAS a hoby. But it is, and she does it and she even gave me her phone number with a promise to teach me how to can tuna fish, so you know...I got that going for me, which is nice.
When we land in Vegas, I tell Patsy I'll catch her on the flight to Michigan and to enjoy her 3 hour layover in the world's most depressing airport. I race to find an open bar, which is a LOT harder than you might think for a city that supposedly never sleeps. At the bar I met a nice couple from Vancouver BC who talked to me for long enough to buy me a Stella, so I figured good karma was in play here. The BC couple left and were replaced by a 400 pound behemoth of a man who was loud, obnoxious and didn't like my politics one bit. But he still managed to tell me all about his 2 divorces and the grown kids who won't talk to him anymore. Who am I, Oprah freaking Winfrey?
But I'm not even getting to the good story. No sir. That one I'll save. But as a mild teaser, my flight back from Detroit to Vegas yesterday again had me sitting in the middle seat, only this time, the gal on my right was petite, stacked and incredibly attractive. And I'll just say this: She doesn't exactly have a 9-5 job.....
Saturday night, I board an airplane on a solo mission to Michigan. Spirit Air has generously sat me in the middle seat between two heavy set females (one of them balding) directly behind a seat that was broken and in my lap from takeoff to landing. It was a flight from Portland to Las Vegas, so not terribly long, but long enough that the discomfort would prevent me from stealing some much needed sleep and certainly long enough to hear the life story of Patsy, the gal to my right who was probably 70 years old, easily 275 pounds and again, shedding more hair than German Sheppard in Death Valley.
I could tell she was a little nervous and when she had to ring her call button to ask the flight attendant for a lap belt extender, I could sense her embarrassment and so decided I'd not be a jerk and stick the headphones in right away to shun any more of her questions.
As the flight progressed, Patsy opened up and gave me her life story. Her current weight was a major reduction from where she once was in life, thanks to an operation to shrink her stomach. She told me about her three kids, including the one with Schizophrenia who calls her a dozen times a day for no real reason at all. He still lives with her most of the time and when he doesn't, she worries to death about him, wondering when the call will come saying he is in jail or dead. She told me about the house foreclosure and her husband's job loss and her own. And she talked about her son who married a girl that hates Patsy and won't let her near the grandkids. She was going to Michigan to see a sister she hadn't seen in 15 years. There was little doubt about it - life had kicked poor Patsy square in the teeth.
So when the flight attendant told me it was more economical to buy two Budweisers instead of just one, I told her to make it two and gave one of them to Patsy. She could not have been more thankful. I spent the rest of the flight just listening to her. In fact, her favorite hobby is canning food, which until Saturday, I didn't know WAS a hoby. But it is, and she does it and she even gave me her phone number with a promise to teach me how to can tuna fish, so you know...I got that going for me, which is nice.
When we land in Vegas, I tell Patsy I'll catch her on the flight to Michigan and to enjoy her 3 hour layover in the world's most depressing airport. I race to find an open bar, which is a LOT harder than you might think for a city that supposedly never sleeps. At the bar I met a nice couple from Vancouver BC who talked to me for long enough to buy me a Stella, so I figured good karma was in play here. The BC couple left and were replaced by a 400 pound behemoth of a man who was loud, obnoxious and didn't like my politics one bit. But he still managed to tell me all about his 2 divorces and the grown kids who won't talk to him anymore. Who am I, Oprah freaking Winfrey?
But I'm not even getting to the good story. No sir. That one I'll save. But as a mild teaser, my flight back from Detroit to Vegas yesterday again had me sitting in the middle seat, only this time, the gal on my right was petite, stacked and incredibly attractive. And I'll just say this: She doesn't exactly have a 9-5 job.....
General Malaise
Footballguy
Sorry to hear about your neighborhood sex-parties with hot chicks and delicious smoked rib troubles, man.Soooooo yeah, I made my first appearance at the neighborhood pool yesterday. It was, uh, interesting. There was an unreal amount of super hot women wearing bikinis. These chicks really hit the gym. Included in this is Mary-Beth-Sue-Bob who just looked freaking incredible. Her bikini bottoms (SPONGEBOB SQUARE PANTS!!) were kept on with a loosely tied string that looked like it could come untied at any time. Her husband was there too and he is built like a lumberjack. All of the guys must spend a crazy amount of time in the gym. I have pretty decent sized arms and was one of the smallest guys there. I was also the guy that doesn't shave his chest. This will not change. And these people drink. Oh do these people drink. I was keeping up with them beer for beer and I think I had 14 beers in 3 hours. This was the guys and the chicks drinking this much. Mary-Beth-Sue-Bob made a comment about how her and her husband, Bill, will stay up drinking until 6 AM sometimes. Anyhow, I was eagerly welcomed to "the group" and it all seemed pretty surreal. It actually reminded me a lot of The Devil's Advocate. The women were a little touchy (Marvin, this was the good kind) and flirty. The guys called me bro, asked for business cards so they could buy from me and invited me to their houses for booze. One guy kept saying "I really like you Bob. I really do. You're very cool." Then swinging and sex was brought up. This smoking hot Asian broad said she just bought some anal beads and there was "sex parties" pretty much every week in the subdivision. Mrs. SLB asked for an invite. Then the Asian gal turns to a guy sitting next to her, which coincidentally was a former furniture vendor of mine, and says "didn't your wife buy a strap on?" He turns beet red and quickly denied it. That's when the guy next to me, Nick, who is from the UK, muttered something about "I'll try anything once". Early in the day I told Nick I noticed he had an accent and if he was from Canada. He politely said "No, England actually".
Bogart
Footballguy
General Malaise
Footballguy
Excellent walking around area. The beach is full of bikers, volleyball players, roller bladers (yeah, gay, but when hot chicks do it, rulez) and plenty of good spots for booze and food. If you're going to live in Seattle for 6 months, this is where you want to do it.And now that the Mariners are scroing 21 runs a night, it might be a good time to scoop up some cheap tickets to Safeco. Not a horrible drive over from West Seattle....without traffic, you can do it under 15 minutes.'Aaron Rudnicki said:Going to be pretty close to there. Within walking distance anyway. Pretty excited.'General Malaise said:Alki Beach is an awesome place, especially in the summer. You're going to love it there.
Bob Sacamano
Footballguy
Oh, I'll just bet she works the late night shift at Denny's. :crossesfingers:
Gadzooks
Footballguy
Hi Florist. Thanks for asking.Lets see, the 22 YO turned 23 over the weekend. I woke up naked in a bouncy house and thought I met Hock Meng Tay. At some point on Monday I pulled a muscle in my shoulder/neck area. Tuesday was pretty low key, nothing major. Wednesday I had Arby's for dinner (HELLO buy-one-get-one-free coupon!!!) and bought some new socks. Today has been average at best. Things should pick up from here: tomorrow is the Chamber Golf Tournament which I am the.... director of and person in charge of everything (HELLO alcohol) and then Saturday I'm the emcee for a town festival.I appreciate your interest.I love you'General Malaise said:
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
Welcome to my world and I was waiting for "then I'll really save money on six Budweisers."AND
Tiger Woods alias?
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
so you sat next to a stripper?
Disco Stu
Confirmed FBGal
I'm hoping porn star and/or escort.
General Malaise
Footballguy
I don't really know....what she is. Other than hot. Oh, and that she pretended to be my wife so we could get her to exit the plane with me first to make our Portland connection together.
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
'TexanFan02 said:
's
Gadzooks
Footballguy
My biggest fear is that your next post is going to include the words: "I tried to get a picture for you guys, but the camera on my fone wouldn't work"I don't really know....what she is. Other than hot. Oh, and that she pretended to be my wife so we could get her to exit the plane with me first to make our Portland connection together.
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General Malaise
Footballguy
My biggest fear is that your next post is going to include the words: "I tried to get a picture for you guys, but the camera on my fone wouldn't work"I don't really know....what she is. Other than hot. Oh, and that she pretended to be my wife so we could get her to exit the plane with me first to make our Portland connection together.
Jesus, the entire last week is pretty much a blurr for me. I had a physical scheduled for this morning. I pushed that back two weeks. And this is odd....never had this happen before, but on Friday, I woke up with a wadded up napkin in my jeans' pocket. I unfolded it and found a twitter handle written in blue pen. Yada yada yada, I have a new 'follower' on Twitter. I'd love to tell you how or why this happened, but I'm quite certain I don't want to know. My in-laws took my golfing on Monday and I would think I set a course record by not only breaking 200, but buy hitting a tee-shot so high and far to the right it landed in the middle of a group of angry Asians, who threw the ball back and me and weren't at all like the gentle soul that is Hock Meng Tay. I also flooded my in-laws upstairs bathroom by clogging a toilet with a bowl of mess that spilled over the rim like a gyser and poured out like the waters coming into the Titanic. My first instinct? Try and catch it. Yeah...that was fun. I haven't prayed to Jeebus in 25 years, but I started praying out loud right then and there and my wife in the other room could hear me going "OHHH NO! NOOOOOO, LORD HELP ME, NOOOOOO!"....She knocked on the door and I screamed at her to go away. Then screamed for her to come back only to come back with a mop. I ended up using 3 of their bathroom towels, a roll of toilet paper and all their lysol wipes to try and clean up the disaster. I won't even describe to you what was stuck all over my white leg hairs. I'm hoping I grow up when I turn 40.
Gadzooks
Footballguy
I luv youMy biggest fear is that your next post is going to include the words: "I tried to get a picture for you guys, but the camera on my fone wouldn't work"I don't really know....what she is. Other than hot. Oh, and that she pretended to be my wife so we could get her to exit the plane with me first to make our Portland connection together.
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
I luv youMy biggest fear is that your next post is going to include the words: "I tried to get a picture for you guys, but the camera on my fone wouldn't work"I don't really know....what she is. Other than hot. Oh, and that she pretended to be my wife so we could get her to exit the plane with me first to make our Portland connection together.
and here I was upset about Rockgate getting delisted. 
Then this morning the indicator on the dash of my car showed a tire with low air pressure. Except it was almost flat because there was a nail close to the edge of it "OH NOES!! WE CAN'T FIX THAT!! YOU NEED A NEW TIRE111". The road hazard warranty? It was 1/32" worn too much. $300 please. 
cosjobs
Footballguy
You should never replace just one tire. You should at least do them in pairs- front or back.I luv youMy biggest fear is that your next post is going to include the words: "I tried to get a picture for you guys, but the camera on my fone wouldn't work"I don't really know....what she is. Other than hot. Oh, and that she pretended to be my wife so we could get her to exit the plane with me first to make our Portland connection together.
Samuel L Bronkowitz
Footballguy
Would it be poor form to get something from the baby registry for the wife's birthday?
mr. furley
Footballguy
you're not 40?
bentley
Footballguy
Got JR's report from the occupational therapist today. Five pages of everything that's wrong with him. Pretty much all of it is a reflection of my own stuff.
On a positive note, we're getting the tailgate bus repainted in a couple weeks. Austin area FBGs should feel free to stop by Space 29 in the electrical lot.
On a positive note, we're getting the tailgate bus repainted in a couple weeks. Austin area FBGs should feel free to stop by Space 29 in the electrical lot.
krista4
Footballguy
DrunkKrista is fiestyTanner.I am completely dumbfounded by the people who say they envy your job.When you write about it I can't imagine much I'd hate more than that. But that's the point, the reason you NEED to be doing what you're doing. Most of us couldn't take it. Most of us couldn't stand dealing with much of the bull#### you do. In order to do that, you have to be dedicated. You have to be good at what you do. You have to care.Sure, there are people in your profession that don't have that. Take my brother...please. There are people who are narcissistic or lazy or both or worse, and enter the field for the wrong reasons. And there are plenty of people that think you're overpaid or underworked or whatever. But do you think that's different from most other professions? I'm a lawyer, for chrissakes. We have Hamline graduates and others bringing us down, and we're only slightly above used-car salesmen on the respect scale. It's not to make light of your situation, but everyone hates everyone, when it comes down to it, often with good reason.So when you get to what's important, to me it's that, as Donna Summer or Cicely Tyson said, the children are our future. By that, I mean that we are a country and a world full of really stupid people, and if folks like you leave the profession, we become even more stupid in future generations. As I get older and even less patient, if I have to get behind people who are even more stupid in the ATM line, I'm likely to become like the face-eating guy in Miami. And really do we need more non-consensual face-eating in this world?Seriously, we need good people, smart people, caring people like you to do what you do. It's just about the hardest job I can think of, one that the vast majority of us couldn't do. Since as I understand it, you get about 16 months off per year, couldn't you use your down time to do something that would add to the family coffers in a meaningful way? I'd think where you are that there are such opportunities, or of course there's Nicaraguan real estate management.
I'm always feisty and always think most people are really stupid.
I see what you did there.'St. Louis Bob said:
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
I was wondering about this. I have a full spare and thought about telling them to put that on the other side. What will happen if I don't? Alignment problems?
No, get her the breast pump.
Thought of you last night during Tosh.0[paraphrasing]Given the past 2 seasons, University of Texas is nothing more that Penn State without the creepy summer camp
mr. furley
Footballguy
cosjobs
Footballguy
yeah and you really don't want mismatched tires. Just by another tire like to one you got today and put them both on the back. Put the other two best ones on the front, but make sure they stay on the same side they used to be. e.g., Left Rear can only go to Left FrontModern suspensions and radial tires are finicky
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bentley
Footballguy
And, in a pinch, you can make crock pot chicken to the chick on the Medela Freestyle box. Is that weird?
mr. furley
Footballguy
thisi had this same conversation with my mechanic just a few months ago. i've been going to the guy for 20 years and my dad has been going to him for 30+. trust cosjobs here.
Bogart
Footballguy
Yes/no?
Frostillicus
Footballguy
Just got back from Snow White and the Huntsman. Enjoyed it quite a bit. Probably going to go for an avatar change as well.
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