Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums
This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!
GM's thread about nothing (52 Viewers)
- Thread starter General Malaise
- Start date
shuke
Black Ice Skeptic
Hilarious, but fake.
Shtaym Syek
Footballguy
My conversation with the Chinese restaurant just now over the phone:
I said "I want a full order of General Tso's chicken".
Chinese dude's reply: "Dinner or Lunch"?
Me: "Dinner"
Him: "Let me figure out how much. Ok, that's $37.94."
Me: ??????
Him: You said full order, right?
Me: Yes.
Him: Full order is $37.94.
Me: What the hell...
Him: You want just one order?
Me: Yes.
Him: $9.63.
Last edited by a moderator:
Tiny Dancer
Footballguy
He thought you said you wanted four orders.
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
thinking the same thing
what the hell is a full order?
bostonfred
Footballguy
one more than a three order.
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
Every grade B Chinese joint I've ever been to has a half/lunch order and full order.
El Floppo
Footballguy
Shtaym Syek
Footballguy
I know. I posted it with the comic technique of letting you get there.He thought you said you wanted four orders.My conversation with the Chinese restaurant just now over the phone:I said "I want a full order of General Tso's chicken".Chinese dude's reply: "Dinner or Lunch"?Me: "Dinner"Him: "Let me figure out how much. Ok, that's $37.94."Me: ??????Him: You said full order, right?Me: Yes.Him: Full order is $37.94.Me: What the hell...Him: You want just one order?Me: Yes.Him: $9.63.
RudiStein
*Not really a bail bondsman
Damn. You caught me. Good work, McMoron and Wife.
RudiStein
*Not really a bail bondsman
He thought you said you wanted four orders.
You and Shuke ought to get together and take your act on the road.
Please See Mine
Footballguy
Oh, I see what your problem is. Look, you're confused by their names, because they all sound like questionsHe thought you said you wanted four orders.
Tiny Dancer
Footballguy
I don't go for this sort of sophisticated humor.
Idiot Boxer
Footballguy
*fart*
Tiny Dancer
Footballguy
Thorn
Footballguy
I don't think this approach will satisfy the thread's slash-and-burn contingent.Anyway, the lack of updates is because I don't really have anything to share. I haven't broached the subject with the folks yet as they were in the midst of planning my brother's surprise 40th birthday party (which was last night) and I also felt like I wanted to sit on it for a couple of days to get my head right about why it bothers me, etc.
I did mention it to my boyfriend and he was very understanding. We were actually apart on Christmas morning last year - but it was a little different because we didn't live together in FL at that time (he was in FL, I was still in the same city as my folks).
I kind of think that it has to do with lingering anger about my moving without a ring, etc. They are very traditional, and were under the impression - based on a "Your daughter is moving to be with me in FL and I wanted to give you a chance to ask me any tough questions you may have" lunch that BF had with them in February - that we would be engaged within 3 months of my moving down. Things don't always work out as planned.
Shtaym Syek
Footballguy
Thorn
Footballguy
Thorn
Footballguy
I, for one, welcome our new one-thumbed Canadian ouverlord. :(MisfitBlondes said:Prognosis - alive...but still Canadian. :(
Thanks for all the kind words in this thread, PM, email and text.
I was pretty messed up for a few days with dopey meds and antibiotics but things are looking good for the future and for my North American Arthur Fonzarelli impression tour. Best part of the stay had to be when they loaded me with painkillers and then a local to drain my thumb. They poked a nice little hole and some clearish liquid started coming out...then it started to squirt blood like the back of a jet ski. Was really freakin' cool. After 10 or 15 seconds of that it slowed to a trickle and the doctor began massaging the area...this is when the blood turned to the body of hatred. I was giving birth, through my thumb, to some nasty looking goop. The doctor did his magic, I made my jokes and the poor nurse had to play center field to whatever my body spewed out. Now I'm on some antibiotic at home but will still be going in for lube, oil and filter for a few more weeks until my blood is slightly better than your average AIDS patient.
Now I have to work on gaining a few pounds since I lost a bit of weight the past few months.
I hate jello.
bostonfred
Footballguy
What has two thumbs and loves Canadian nurses?
This... oh damn.
This... oh damn.
desert rose
Footballguy
Good to hear you're alive, DoUgie. Ask the doctors if they can transplant one of your toes to give you a thumb.
shuke
Black Ice Skeptic
Look, man, I thought the names and locations were change to protect the innocent. If you're going to just tell a joke in here, why would you try to pass it off as being something that really happened?
I said it was hilarious, right?
RudiStein
*Not really a bail bondsman
Want me to forward you the originals, J?Still use the same gmail addy?Look, man, I thought the names and locations were change to protect the innocent. If you're going to just tell a joke in here, why would you try to pass it off as being something that really happened?
desert rose
Footballguy
Even if they didn't, it couldn't hurt to have a spare.
Shtaym Syek
Footballguy
BTW - I wandered into the SP for the first time in quite a while to look at MoP's weekly exploit/avoid thread. I've never seen as much 'look at me' in one post as the first post in that thread.
Holy crap. I counted seven instances before I stopped reading.
Holy crap. I counted seven instances before I stopped reading.
shuke
Black Ice Skeptic
Sure thing, Bri.Want me to forward you the originals, J?Still use the same gmail addy?Look, man, I thought the names and locations were change to protect the innocent. If you're going to just tell a joke in here, why would you try to pass it off as being something that really happened?
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
:XMisfitBlondes said:Prognosis - alive
Thanks for all the kind words in this thread, PM, email and text.
I was pretty messed up for a few days with dopey meds and antibiotics but things are looking good for the future and for my North American Arthur Fonzarelli impression tour. Best part of the stay had to be when they loaded me with painkillers and then a local to drain my thumb. They poked a nice little hole and some clearish liquid started coming out...then it started to squirt blood like the back of a jet ski. Was really freakin' cool. After 10 or 15 seconds of that it slowed to a trickle and the doctor began massaging the area...this is when the blood turned to the body of hatred. I was giving birth, through my thumb, to some nasty looking goop. The doctor did his magic, I made my jokes and the poor nurse had to play center field to whatever my body spewed out. Now I'm on some antibiotic at home but will still be going in for lube, oil and filter for a few more weeks until my blood is slightly better than your average AIDS patient.
Now I have to work on gaining a few pounds since I lost a bit of weight the past few months.
I hate jello.
RudiStein
*Not really a bail bondsman
No problem, LanceSure thing, Bri.Want me to forward you the originals, J?Still use the same gmail addy?Look, man, I thought the names and locations were change to protect the innocent. If you're going to just tell a joke in here, why would you try to pass it off as being something that really happened?
bostonfred
Footballguy
"It's a joke. It works better if I tell it in the first person."Look, man, I thought the names and locations were change to protect the innocent. If you're going to just tell a joke in here, why would you try to pass it off as being something that really happened?
RudiStein
*Not really a bail bondsman
You watch that right there, Chief."It's a joke. It works better if I tell it in the first person."Look, man, I thought the names and locations were change to protect the innocent. If you're going to just tell a joke in here, why would you try to pass it off as being something that really happened?
shuke
Black Ice Skeptic
No problem, LanceSure thing, Bri.Want me to forward you the originals, J?Still use the same gmail addy?Look, man, I thought the names and locations were change to protect the innocent. If you're going to just tell a joke in here, why would you try to pass it off as being something that really happened?
RudiStein
*Not really a bail bondsman
You heard me, Kenny.
shuke
Black Ice Skeptic
You lost me.You heard me, Kenny.
RudiStein
*Not really a bail bondsman
Why so coy, Cliff?You lost me.You heard me, Kenny.
Bamboo Bill
Footballguy
I like shuke and tanner.
shuke
Black Ice Skeptic
Thanks. What's Eurotrashman's take on all this?
eurotrashman
Footballguy
guest 54788
Prince of ShantyTown
Tanner gave shuke the ol' high hat, I see.
Mr. Pickles
Footballguy
No he didn't.shuke said:You lost me.RudiStein said:You heard me, Kenny.shuke said:
CGRdrJoe
Footballguy
Random mumblings and bragging...
My sons junior midget team (12-13) won the division 2 National Championship game against the Harlem Jets. 14-14 it went into OT where it was College rules, they got the ball first and scored on third down but we held them when they tried to run it in for one. We then struggled to get a yard the first three plays so 4th down from the ten our qb scrambles and throws to the back corner of the end zone where our TE somehow manages a diving catch keeping his feet in bounds. Our sideline erupts and we go for 2 (fg) perfect snap and kick and it's pandamonium on our sideline. Easily the greatest sporting moment of my life to witness let alone coach.
My sons junior midget team (12-13) won the division 2 National Championship game against the Harlem Jets. 14-14 it went into OT where it was College rules, they got the ball first and scored on third down but we held them when they tried to run it in for one. We then struggled to get a yard the first three plays so 4th down from the ten our qb scrambles and throws to the back corner of the end zone where our TE somehow manages a diving catch keeping his feet in bounds. Our sideline erupts and we go for 2 (fg) perfect snap and kick and it's pandamonium on our sideline. Easily the greatest sporting moment of my life to witness let alone coach.
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
Very cool.Random mumblings and bragging...My sons junior midget team (12-13) won the division 2 National Championship game against the Harlem Jets. 14-14 it went into OT where it was College rules, they got the ball first and scored on third down but we held them when they tried to run it in for one. We then struggled to get a yard the first three plays so 4th down from the ten our qb scrambles and throws to the back corner of the end zone where our TE somehow manages a diving catch keeping his feet in bounds. Our sideline erupts and we go for 2 (fg) perfect snap and kick and it's pandamonium on our sideline. Easily the greatest sporting moment of my life to witness let alone coach.
I think you are supposed to say "little people" though.Similar threads
