GM's thread about nothing (19 Viewers)

[BobbyLayne]

They cut their little penises off today.

Anything else?

 

[AhrnCityPahnder]

I've done my good deed for the next 18 months. On the way home from sushi dinner with the Mrs, I helped some poor jabronie push his broken down old Civic up a hill to get it off the street.

edit -- Ancillary update: I just took my shirt off (the one I wore to dinner) and realized I have mustard all over the front of it. I don't even remember the last time I ate mustard.

 

[El Floppo]

JFC - I got to watch zero football today.

Spent the day in Midwood (that's deep into Brooklyn, El Floppy - you never been). Takes a friggin' hour each way from Midtown.

Double Brit Milah (what's the plural of Bris?), e.g., twin boys. Lesbian couple. Lesbian pedetrician-mohel. Surrounded by bull dykes and octogenarians up from Boca. Finally during the Seudat mitzvah this cute (7 on the Offdee scale) 25ish chick sits down next to me and starts flirting big time. Even better her friend (about an 8) joins the convo. Except then they start stroking each others hair. FML, they're a coupe too.

Mrs. BL kept shooting me daggers every time my hand got near my phone. I knew checking for updates was going to put me in the doghouse for a good week. Finally on the way home (6:30ish) I got to check scores.

LIONS WON A ROAD GAME! Thank you baby Jesus!

Oh, and because you care...think I got Ray Rice'd in one league and Vick'ed in another, but if the Pats score 3-4 points I'll make one championship game.

Midwood? Oh come on, you're making this stuff up. Is that near Williamsburgh or Park Slope... because I've heard of those places.Great googly moogly- the whole experience (minus hot lesbians fake hitting on you) sounds like absolute hell, gb.

 

[El Floppo]

update: My magic football team is doing good. Boiling down to the fact that I just need the Chi D not to outscore their highest YTD by 50% and I win.

Magic?

more or less

I'm really happy I've never seen that before.

 

[BobbyLayne]

OMFG....finally got baby girl to bed and DVRing my way through the Giants-Eagles now. Any word if Coughlin can cut Dodge (rookie punter) tonight? Or does the league rules mandate he has to wait until morning?

Vick with an insane 4th quarter.

Gonna start watching Jets-Steelers; I don't know how the game was but that result shocked me.

 

[shuke]

I love scotch.I now have three pets, by the way. Two guinea pigs just came home with me.I own zero dogs. There's something wrong with me.

Aren't you a single dude?

 

[BobbyLayne]

Midwood? Oh come on, you're making this stuff up. Is that near Williamsburgh or Park Slope... because I've heard of those places.

Dude -It's like Maplewood or something. Huge houses - this one is exactly like the one I was in (except their porch is enclosed. OK, not exactly NJ, the yard was 10x20. But garages and finished basements - thought for sure I'd walk around the corner and see the Griswald's leaving Walmart.

Oh, and the subway out there is in a trench.

 

[General Malaise]

Cowboys cost me a grip today. I cannot believe how that game concluded. FML.

Jeep, good luck. White Welker keeps catching more balls than Branch. Not sure why I opted to start him over Colston and Holmes. Cutting Manningham was asanine.

Went shopping at the mall today. Parked near Macy's, couldn't find what I was looking for, walked over to Nordstrom's, shopped for 3 items, got heckled by a bunch of women, walked out and realized I had no idea where my car was. I walked up and down rows of cars, madly pressing my alarm button. Dozens of cars circled me like a starved shark, waiting to pounce on my perpindicular moves. I teased more drivers than a tranny hitchiker in short shorts and high heels. I probably faked out 21 cars before realizing I parked at Macy's.

 

[Tiger Fan]

Cowboys cost me a grip today. I cannot believe how that game concluded. FML.

Jeep, good luck. White Welker keeps catching more balls than Branch. Not sure why I opted to start him over Colston and Holmes. Cutting Manningham was asanine.

Went shopping at the mall today. Parked near Macy's, couldn't find what I was looking for, walked over to Nordstrom's, shopped for 3 items, got heckled by a bunch of women, walked out and realized I had no idea where my car was. I walked up and down rows of cars, madly pressing my alarm button. Dozens of cars circled me like a starved shark, waiting to pounce on my perpindicular moves. I teased more drivers than a tranny hitchiker in short shorts and high heels. I probably faked out 21 cars before realizing I parked at Macy's.

Went to a friend's house this morning for a "make your own hot cakes" breakfast party, complete with mimosas and breakfast burritos. Fantastic little gathering and about an hour in, Santa and Mrs. Clause came by. Kids really enjoyed that. He stayed for about an hour, had his wife read "Night Before Xmas", had each kid on his lap. Very cool.

Total cost for Santa? $150. They called like 5 Santas before finding this one. They get booked up early. This is the way to do it in the future, Bob and friends.

I avoid malls at all costs. I'd rather go to a gay bar wearing a speedo than a mall around xmas.

 

[Sonny Lubick Blowup Doll]

Dozens of cars circled me like a starved shark...

 

[Tiger Fan]

Dozens of cars circled me like a starved shark...

they wanted to take GMs parking spot when he found his car

 

[General Malaise]

 

[Frostillicus]

Dozens of cars circled me like a starved shark...

they wanted to take GMs parking spot when he found his car

Or his ###.

 

[shuke]

Dozens of cars circled me like a starved shark...

 

[Tiger Fan]

need 14 points from Cutler to make it to the championship. gonna be a nailbiter for me

 

[Sonny Lubick Blowup Doll]

Dozens of cars circled me like a starved shark...

they wanted to take GMs parking spot when he found his car

 

[charvik]

Anyone ever use Rosetta Stone? Thinking about learning Greek

No, but I want to use it. Once the move happens, I'll probably try to find where I stashed a pirated copy of the Spanish one. Greek is on my list if I ever get around to it.

remind me in chat or hoof me and i'll provide some interesting websites.

 

[Thorn]

Cowboys cost me a grip today. I cannot believe how that game concluded. FML.

Jeep, good luck. White Welker keeps catching more balls than Branch. Not sure why I opted to start him over Colston and Holmes. Cutting Manningham was asanine.

Went shopping at the mall today. Parked near Macy's, couldn't find what I was looking for, walked over to Nordstrom's, shopped for 3 items, got heckled by a bunch of women, walked out and realized I had no idea where my car was. I walked up and down rows of cars, madly pressing my alarm button. Dozens of cars circled me like a starved shark, waiting to pounce on my perpindicular moves. I teased more drivers than a tranny hitchiker in short shorts and high heels. I probably faked out 21 cars before realizing I parked at Macy's.

wait what

 

[charvik]

So this became the thread where everyone talks about their fantasy football teams and reminisces on what lightweights/can't hold their drink or smoke in college? Great thread ftr:graduated in 4 years with a 3.3 gpa, and partied all 4 years ding

I can't post my college stories until 12/15/2015, but remind me then.

 

[Samuel L Bronkowitz]

Big fight tonight.

I used to bowl with my sister in this 9-pin tap tournament for charity every year at the end of January. This was like 7 years ago until 3 years ago. Then I started going with my fiancee to a euchre tournament that happened to fall on the same weekend. One would think that isn't a problem right?

Well my sister, who is a bigger drunk than I am believe it or not, was overserved at my parents house tonight. She asked why I couldn't make the bowling thing (for the 3rd time in 2 weeks, mind you). I said "I'm not going to be in town. We talked about this. I'm going to be with Katie and her family for the euchre tournament"

My sister blew up.

"I'm your ####### sister! I'll be around longer than she will, whether its divorce or death or whatever. I was here for you before her and I'll be here for you after her. She's not even a part of this family!"

I told her "You have 6 months to realize what you just said to me and figure out how you can be re-invited to my wedding."

I really hate my family. FML

 

[kevzilla]

Big fight tonight.I used to bowl with my sister in this 9-pin tap tournament for charity every year at the end of January. This was like 7 years ago until 3 years ago. Then I started going with my fiancee to a euchre tournament that happened to fall on the same weekend. One would think that isn't a problem right?Well my sister, who is a bigger drunk than I am believe it or not, was overserved at my parents house tonight. She asked why I couldn't make the bowling thing (for the 3rd time in 2 weeks, mind you). I said "I'm not going to be in town. We talked about this. I'm going to be with Katie and her family for the euchre tournament"My sister blew up."I'm your ####### sister! I'll be around longer than she will, whether its divorce or death or whatever. I was here for you before her and I'll be here for you after her. She's not even a part of this family!"I told her "You have 6 months to realize what you just said to me and figure out how you can be re-invited to my wedding."I really hate my family. FML

She sounds fun, hook a brother up.

 

[Samuel L Bronkowitz]

Big fight tonight.I used to bowl with my sister in this 9-pin tap tournament for charity every year at the end of January. This was like 7 years ago until 3 years ago. Then I started going with my fiancee to a euchre tournament that happened to fall on the same weekend. One would think that isn't a problem right?Well my sister, who is a bigger drunk than I am believe it or not, was overserved at my parents house tonight. She asked why I couldn't make the bowling thing (for the 3rd time in 2 weeks, mind you). I said "I'm not going to be in town. We talked about this. I'm going to be with Katie and her family for the euchre tournament"My sister blew up."I'm your ####### sister! I'll be around longer than she will, whether its divorce or death or whatever. I was here for you before her and I'll be here for you after her. She's not even a part of this family!"I told her "You have 6 months to realize what you just said to me and figure out how you can be re-invited to my wedding."I really hate my family. FML

She sounds fun, hook a brother up.

I've been told by friends that she's hot. She looks just like me

 

[kevzilla]

Big fight tonight.I used to bowl with my sister in this 9-pin tap tournament for charity every year at the end of January. This was like 7 years ago until 3 years ago. Then I started going with my fiancee to a euchre tournament that happened to fall on the same weekend. One would think that isn't a problem right?Well my sister, who is a bigger drunk than I am believe it or not, was overserved at my parents house tonight. She asked why I couldn't make the bowling thing (for the 3rd time in 2 weeks, mind you). I said "I'm not going to be in town. We talked about this. I'm going to be with Katie and her family for the euchre tournament"My sister blew up."I'm your ####### sister! I'll be around longer than she will, whether its divorce or death or whatever. I was here for you before her and I'll be here for you after her. She's not even a part of this family!"I told her "You have 6 months to realize what you just said to me and figure out how you can be re-invited to my wedding."I really hate my family. FML

She sounds fun, hook a brother up.

I've been told by friends that she's hot. She looks just like me

You're not helping.

 

[Samuel L Bronkowitz]

Big fight tonight.I used to bowl with my sister in this 9-pin tap tournament for charity every year at the end of January. This was like 7 years ago until 3 years ago. Then I started going with my fiancee to a euchre tournament that happened to fall on the same weekend. One would think that isn't a problem right?Well my sister, who is a bigger drunk than I am believe it or not, was overserved at my parents house tonight. She asked why I couldn't make the bowling thing (for the 3rd time in 2 weeks, mind you). I said "I'm not going to be in town. We talked about this. I'm going to be with Katie and her family for the euchre tournament"My sister blew up."I'm your ####### sister! I'll be around longer than she will, whether its divorce or death or whatever. I was here for you before her and I'll be here for you after her. She's not even a part of this family!"I told her "You have 6 months to realize what you just said to me and figure out how you can be re-invited to my wedding."I really hate my family. FML

She sounds fun, hook a brother up.

I've been told by friends that she's hot. She looks just like me

You're not helping.

Ok, she doesn't look like me.

 

[heckmanm]

JFC - I got to watch zero football today.

Spent the day in Midwood (that's deep into Brooklyn, El Floppy - you never been). Takes a friggin' hour each way from Midtown.

Double Brit Milah (what's the plural of Bris?), e.g., twin boys. Lesbian couple. Lesbian pedetrician-mohel. Surrounded by bull dykes and octogenarians up from Boca. Finally during the Seudat mitzvah this cute (7 on the Offdee scale) 25ish chick sits down next to me and starts flirting big time. Even better her friend (about an 8) joins the convo. Except then they start stroking each others hair. FML, they're a coupe too.

Mrs. BL kept shooting me daggers every time my hand got near my phone. I knew checking for updates was going to put me in the doghouse for a good week. Finally on the way home (6:30ish) I got to check scores.

LIONS WON A ROAD GAME! Thank you baby Jesus!

Oh, and because you care...think I got Ray Rice'd in one league and Vick'ed in another, but if the Pats score 3-4 points I'll make one championship game.

Can someone translate the 1st paragraph for me?

He didn't get to watch any football, and abbreviated an expletive to express his frustration. HTH.

 

[CGRdrJoe]

Anyone ever use Rosetta Stone? Thinking about learning Greek

No, but I want to use it. Once the move happens, I'll probably try to find where I stashed a pirated copy of the Spanish one. Greek is on my list if I ever get around to it.

remind me in chat or hoof me and i'll provide some interesting websites.

I'll take a pm for japanese

 

[Tiger Fan]

Big fight tonight.I used to bowl with my sister in this 9-pin tap tournament for charity every year at the end of January. This was like 7 years ago until 3 years ago. Then I started going with my fiancee to a euchre tournament that happened to fall on the same weekend. One would think that isn't a problem right?Well my sister, who is a bigger drunk than I am believe it or not, was overserved at my parents house tonight. She asked why I couldn't make the bowling thing (for the 3rd time in 2 weeks, mind you). I said "I'm not going to be in town. We talked about this. I'm going to be with Katie and her family for the euchre tournament"My sister blew up."I'm your ####### sister! I'll be around longer than she will, whether its divorce or death or whatever. I was here for you before her and I'll be here for you after her. She's not even a part of this family!"I told her "You have 6 months to realize what you just said to me and figure out how you can be re-invited to my wedding."I really hate my family. FML

Bowling and Euchre......good that the old folks home lets you out for these events

 

[gollum]

Big fight tonight.I used to bowl with my sister in this 9-pin tap tournament for charity every year at the end of January. This was like 7 years ago until 3 years ago. Then I started going with my fiancee to a euchre tournament that happened to fall on the same weekend. One would think that isn't a problem right?Well my sister, who is a bigger drunk than I am believe it or not, was overserved at my parents house tonight. She asked why I couldn't make the bowling thing (for the 3rd time in 2 weeks, mind you). I said "I'm not going to be in town. We talked about this. I'm going to be with Katie and her family for the euchre tournament"My sister blew up."I'm your ####### sister! I'll be around longer than she will, whether its divorce or death or whatever. I was here for you before her and I'll be here for you after her. She's not even a part of this family!"I told her "You have 6 months to realize what you just said to me and figure out how you can be re-invited to my wedding."I really hate my family. FML

Bowling and Euchre......good that the old folks home lets you out for these events

See, I think the best answer is this"Genetics, mom and dad's love of intercourse, and bad luck stuck me with you. Conversely, I chose her, so it should be very apparent why I will not be bowling with you."

 

[the rover]

Euchre...SERIOUS BUSINESS.

 

[jplvr]

I've been told by friends that she's hot. She looks just like me

I don't know what you look like, so it wouldn't be weird for me yet.

 

[jplvr]

Jeep, good luck. White Welker keeps catching more balls than Branch. Not sure why I opted to start him over Colston and Holmes. Cutting Manningham was asanine.

I'm surprised I made it this far and embarrassed I took up a playoff spot considering my total points on the season.

 

[YSR]

My fantasy team went 12-2 this season and then managed to poop the bed this weekend in the first round of the playoffs.

 

[CGRdrJoe]

My fantasy team went 12-2 this season and then managed to poop the bed this weekend in the first round of the playoffs.

Pics?

 

[El Floppo]

Euchre...SERIOUS BUSINESS.

Bob?

 

[El Floppo]

My fantasy team went 12-2 this season and then managed to poop the bed this weekend in the first round of the playoffs.

Me too... except my nemesis/opponent decided to pick this week to set our new league record for points.Oh- thanks Moreno, that was a nice way to kill my other team's season.

 

[BobbyLayne]

I lost one game 149-155 - two highest scores of the year in that league (non-PPR). Oh well, he had a better team overall.

 

[madhatter]

FDAS 2.0v = little girl

ETA: Late April.

 

[El Floppo]

FDAS 2.0v = little girlETA: Late April.

twins?

 

[madhatter]

FDAS 2.0v = little girlETA: Late April.

twins?

Thank Christ, no.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

We had a 4 way tie for first going into this week with me on top with the most points. I played my cousin that was tied for first with me. We were tailgating and and I notice that the radio is no longer playing. I'm the only one that noticed out of the group. Thanks pot!! I do see his windshield wipers going really slow however. Thankfully the guy running the lot had one of those hot chargers in his truck and we got it running.

Most of our guys were playing early and and it was a back and forth scoring fest. We left in the Rams game in the middle of the second quarter and went to the bar. I ended up winning and if Olsen can score a couple of TD's tonight, I'll be in first all by myself. Big money for winning this thing. I feel terrible though thanks to all of the alcohol I consumed the last 4 days.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

FDAS 2.0v = little girlETA: Late April.

twins?

Thank Christ, no.

Congrats!

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Oh yeah, the mall was freaking jam packed Saturday so we had a good hike back to the car. So we're walking and I'm holding Dylan's hand when he sees a cop car. "Oh no! The police!" he shouts. After me and Mrs. SLB try to contain our laughter, she explains that police are our friends which he replies, "yeah this isn't good." As we approach the car I show him that it is empty. He seems relieved. So we are are putting the kids in the car and I notice a beer can that I forgot to get rid of in the pouch behind the passenger seat. I make a mental note to remove it as soon as we get home. Before we can get out of the parking lot Cal yells "MOM, DYLAN'S DRINKING BEER!!!"

 

[Samuel L Bronkowitz]

Bowling and Euchre......good that the old folks home lets you out for these events

I'm surprised they let us go out to the picture show sometimes

 

[the rover]

So this "I Just Had Sex" video has 2.5m+ hits in like two days, can someone explain to me what I'm missing here?

!

 

[St. Louis Bob]

So this "I Just Had Sex" video has 2.5m+ hits in like two days, can someone explain to me what I'm missing here?

At the start I thought stupid, but it was kind of catchy so I hung in there. About the 2 minute mark Cran & Woz came to mind. lol

 

[YSR]

So this "I Just Had Sex" video has 2.5m+ hits in like two days, can someone explain to me what I'm missing here?

Perhaps you are unaware of the effect that Sandberg's videos have on this board.ETA: having seen the video, this hits a little closer to our homestead than I would like

 

[Tremendous Upside]

So this "I Just Had Sex" video has 2.5m+ hits in like two days, can someone explain to me what I'm missing here?

People love them some Akon

The "I think she might have been a racist" part was funny

The rest, not so much

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Wish I just had sex.

 

[jplvr]

SNL sucks. Pretty much the best thing associated with that show is Lonely Island, but that was pretty meh.

 

[gollum]

I love me some Lonely Island

LOVE IT!!!