GM's thread about nothing (8 Viewers)

[urbanhack]

Anybody else not wearing pants?

Have you ever posted completely naked? Has anyone ever done that?

Yes. 174 times.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

My mother might have given the most awkward toast in the history of mankind last night, in front of my boss, coworkers and friends. It was....hell, I don't even know how to describe. It was to speeches what Elaine Benes was to dancing. I'm pretty sure the best way to sum it up will be to post the pictures of my sister's reaction, captured by her best friend who was watching her while my mom went on and on....I would have welcomed a tornado.

Please try.

 

[Leroy Hoard]

Anybody else not wearing pants?

Have you ever posted completely naked? Has anyone ever done that?

Yes. 174 times.

I post mainly from work so my number is somewhat lower.

 

[General Malaise]

My mother might have given the most awkward toast in the history of mankind last night, in front of my boss, coworkers and friends. It was....hell, I don't even know how to describe. It was to speeches what Elaine Benes was to dancing. I'm pretty sure the best way to sum it up will be to post the pictures of my sister's reaction, captured by her best friend who was watching her while my mom went on and on....I would have welcomed a tornado.

Please try.

Well, she got up in front of the room and immediately launched into a diatribe about how horrible my first marriage was, and how my father wrote me a letter prior to my previous wedding day, advising me not to go through with it and how by the end of the marriage, I was a beaten little man who couldn't find his smile. She continued to tell the crowd how I informed them a few months after my divorce that I was dating somebody (a fact they could tell already because I was now "full of glee" and not "mopey and said"), and when asked who it was, I told her "Well, you know her....it's the nanny", which despite being known by all previously, still elicited some 'ohhhs' and 'awwwws', as well as some stifled chuckles from my buddies, who were enjoying the trainwreck. Then she told them all that her initial reaction was one of horror, not because I was actually dating an employee and the child's caretaker, which would no doubt cause a firestorm when my ex-wife learned of it, but was worried sick I meant the OTHER nanny. We had 2 at the time and the other one is.....how do I put this politely....ugly as sin? So she basically told the crowd that she thought I was dating the ugly nanny. She was expecting a huge laugh, but she got crickets. It was awkward.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

Anybody else not wearing pants?

Have you ever posted completely naked? Has anyone ever done that?

Yes. 174 times.

I post mainly from work so my number is somewhat lower.

Somewhat.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

My mother might have given the most awkward toast in the history of mankind last night, in front of my boss, coworkers and friends. It was....hell, I don't even know how to describe. It was to speeches what Elaine Benes was to dancing. I'm pretty sure the best way to sum it up will be to post the pictures of my sister's reaction, captured by her best friend who was watching her while my mom went on and on....I would have welcomed a tornado.

Please try.

Well, she got up in front of the room and immediately launched into a diatribe about how horrible my first marriage was, and how my father wrote me a letter prior to my previous wedding day, advising me not to go through with it and how by the end of the marriage, I was a beaten little man who couldn't find his smile. She continued to tell the crowd how I informed them a few months after my divorce that I was dating somebody (a fact they could tell already because I was now "full of glee" and not "mopey and said"), and when asked who it was, I told her "Well, you know her....it's the nanny", which despite being known by all previously, still elicited some 'ohhhs' and 'awwwws', as well as some stifled chuckles from my buddies, who were enjoying the trainwreck. Then she told them all that her initial reaction was one of horror, not because I was actually dating an employee and the child's caretaker, which would no doubt cause a firestorm when my ex-wife learned of it, but was worried sick I meant the OTHER nanny. We had 2 at the time and the other one is.....how do I put this politely....ugly as sin? So she basically told the crowd that she thought I was dating the ugly nanny. She was expecting a huge laugh, but she got crickets. It was awkward.

Yeah, I can totally see this happening to me.

 

[urbanhack]

My mother might have given the most awkward toast in the history of mankind last night, in front of my boss, coworkers and friends. It was....hell, I don't even know how to describe. It was to speeches what Elaine Benes was to dancing. I'm pretty sure the best way to sum it up will be to post the pictures of my sister's reaction, captured by her best friend who was watching her while my mom went on and on....I would have welcomed a tornado.

Please try.

Well, she got up in front of the room and immediately launched into a diatribe about how horrible my first marriage was, and how my father wrote me a letter prior to my previous wedding day, advising me not to go through with it and how by the end of the marriage, I was a beaten little man who couldn't find his smile. She continued to tell the crowd how I informed them a few months after my divorce that I was dating somebody (a fact they could tell already because I was now "full of glee" and not "mopey and said"), and when asked who it was, I told her "Well, you know her....it's the nanny", which despite being known by all previously, still elicited some 'ohhhs' and 'awwwws', as well as some stifled chuckles from my buddies, who were enjoying the trainwreck. Then she told them all that her initial reaction was one of horror, not because I was actually dating an employee and the child's caretaker, which would no doubt cause a firestorm when my ex-wife learned of it, but was worried sick I meant the OTHER nanny. We had 2 at the time and the other one is.....how do I put this politely....ugly as sin? So she basically told the crowd that she thought I was dating the ugly nanny. She was expecting a huge laugh, but she got crickets. It was awkward.

 

[Radical Larry]

My mother might have given the most awkward toast in the history of mankind last night, in front of my boss, coworkers and friends. It was....hell, I don't even know how to describe. It was to speeches what Elaine Benes was to dancing. I'm pretty sure the best way to sum it up will be to post the pictures of my sister's reaction, captured by her best friend who was watching her while my mom went on and on....I would have welcomed a tornado.

Please try.

Well, she got up in front of the room and immediately launched into a diatribe about how horrible my first marriage was, and how my father wrote me a letter prior to my previous wedding day, advising me not to go through with it and how by the end of the marriage, I was a beaten little man who couldn't find his smile. She continued to tell the crowd how I informed them a few months after my divorce that I was dating somebody (a fact they could tell already because I was now "full of glee" and not "mopey and said"), and when asked who it was, I told her "Well, you know her....it's the nanny", which despite being known by all previously, still elicited some 'ohhhs' and 'awwwws', as well as some stifled chuckles from my buddies, who were enjoying the trainwreck. Then she told them all that her initial reaction was one of horror, not because I was actually dating an employee and the child's caretaker, which would no doubt cause a firestorm when my ex-wife learned of it, but was worried sick I meant the OTHER nanny. We had 2 at the time and the other one is.....how do I put this politely....ugly as sin? So she basically told the crowd that she thought I was dating the ugly nanny. She was expecting a huge laugh, but she got crickets. It was awkward.

Why in the world was your mom giving a speech?

 

[General Malaise]

My mother might have given the most awkward toast in the history of mankind last night, in front of my boss, coworkers and friends. It was....hell, I don't even know how to describe. It was to speeches what Elaine Benes was to dancing. I'm pretty sure the best way to sum it up will be to post the pictures of my sister's reaction, captured by her best friend who was watching her while my mom went on and on....I would have welcomed a tornado.

Please try.

Well, she got up in front of the room and immediately launched into a diatribe about how horrible my first marriage was, and how my father wrote me a letter prior to my previous wedding day, advising me not to go through with it and how by the end of the marriage, I was a beaten little man who couldn't find his smile. She continued to tell the crowd how I informed them a few months after my divorce that I was dating somebody (a fact they could tell already because I was now "full of glee" and not "mopey and said"), and when asked who it was, I told her "Well, you know her....it's the nanny", which despite being known by all previously, still elicited some 'ohhhs' and 'awwwws', as well as some stifled chuckles from my buddies, who were enjoying the trainwreck. Then she told them all that her initial reaction was one of horror, not because I was actually dating an employee and the child's caretaker, which would no doubt cause a firestorm when my ex-wife learned of it, but was worried sick I meant the OTHER nanny. We had 2 at the time and the other one is.....how do I put this politely....ugly as sin? So she basically told the crowd that she thought I was dating the ugly nanny. She was expecting a huge laugh, but she got crickets. It was awkward.

Why in the world was your mom giving a speech?

It was a bridal shower and she felt compelled to make a toast. She's cut off for the wedding.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

It was a bridal shower and she felt compelled to make a toast. She's cut off for the wedding.

Did she forget to work in Forrestmail® and masturbating?

 

[Thorn]

BRIDAL shower? So you're going to marry the nanny? For realz?

 

[St. Louis Bob]

BRIDAL shower? So you're going to marry the nanny? For realz?

That's acceptable. I want to know what GM and his buddies were doing at a bridal shower.

 

[General Malaise]

BRIDAL shower? So you're going to marry the nanny? For realz?

That's acceptable. I want to know what GM and his buddies were doing at a bridal shower.

I think that was the technical name for it. But it was really just a pre-wedding party for many who don't want to travel to Detroit next month....hard to blame them.Yes, GM is marrying his kids' former nanny. We've dated for over 2 years. She's 29, has a masters and owns her own photography business. I'm sure some will judge me negatively for it, but others will take a look at her glorious butt, smoking hot legs and give me a pass.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

BRIDAL shower? So you're going to marry the nanny? For realz?

That's acceptable. I want to know what GM and his buddies were doing at a bridal shower.

I think that was the technical name for it. But it was really just a pre-wedding party for many who don't want to travel to Detroit next month....hard to blame them.Yes, GM is marrying his kids' former nanny. We've dated for over 2 years. She's 29, has a masters and owns her own photography business. I'm sure some will judge me negatively for it, but others will take a look at her glorious butt, smoking hot legs and give me a pass.

No arguments here.

 

[Thorn]

BRIDAL shower? So you're going to marry the nanny? For realz?

That's acceptable. I want to know what GM and his buddies were doing at a bridal shower.

I think that was the technical name for it. But it was really just a pre-wedding party for many who don't want to travel to Detroit next month....hard to blame them.Yes, GM is marrying his kids' former nanny. We've dated for over 2 years. She's 29, has a masters and owns her own photography business. I'm sure some will judge me negatively for it, but others will take a look at her glorious butt, smoking hot legs and give me a pass.

She sounds lovely GBGM. But,
?

 

[General Malaise]

BRIDAL shower? So you're going to marry the nanny? For realz?

That's acceptable. I want to know what GM and his buddies were doing at a bridal shower.

I think that was the technical name for it. But it was really just a pre-wedding party for many who don't want to travel to Detroit next month....hard to blame them.Yes, GM is marrying his kids' former nanny. We've dated for over 2 years. She's 29, has a masters and owns her own photography business. I'm sure some will judge me negatively for it, but others will take a look at her glorious butt, smoking hot legs and give me a pass.

She sounds lovely GBGM. But,

She makes me happy.

 

[Thorn]

BRIDAL shower? So you're going to marry the nanny? For realz?

That's acceptable. I want to know what GM and his buddies were doing at a bridal shower.

I think that was the technical name for it. But it was really just a pre-wedding party for many who don't want to travel to Detroit next month....hard to blame them.Yes, GM is marrying his kids' former nanny. We've dated for over 2 years. She's 29, has a masters and owns her own photography business. I'm sure some will judge me negatively for it, but others will take a look at her glorious butt, smoking hot legs and give me a pass.

She sounds lovely GBGM. But,

I was just trying desperately to work in a 16 Candles link.

 

[General Malaise]

I was just trying desperately to work in a 16 Candles link.

Can you link in the scene where Carolyn is taking a shower? Man, remember when PG movies showed boobs? God I miss the 80s. Real boobs, too. Not this plastic crap they show today.

 

[shuke]

Anyhow, I'll grow out the beard for a week, then shave it all, save for the moustache,

Kind of the ##### way to go about it, no?

 

[Saints-Man]

BRIDAL shower? So you're going to marry the nanny? For realz?

That's acceptable. I want to know what GM and his buddies were doing at a bridal shower.

I think that was the technical name for it. But it was really just a pre-wedding party for many who don't want to travel to Detroit next month....hard to blame them.Yes, GM is marrying his kids' former nanny. We've dated for over 2 years. She's 29, has a masters and owns her own photography business. I'm sure some will judge me negatively for it, but others will take a look at her glorious butt, smoking hot legs and give me a pass.

A pass?You get a

 

[St. Louis Bob]

We have our annual drinking/gambling, and if we have time fishing/golf trip, next week so we had a little meeting to make sure everyone was on the same page. We do this every year and meet at the same bar because it is centrally located. Now, the waitresses are always scantily clad and usually pretty hot but yesterday they were, for the most part, just skanks. Our waitress apparently missed the memo that she passed her prime at least 5 years ago and I asked my buddy if he thought she would be offended if I requested that she wear a burka.

Everybody finally gets there (seven of us +1 in KC who will meet us) and we start making plans in between random stories from the past. That is until some broad with a horrible lisp approaches our table and says "oh hings are habout to get cwazy!" Yesterday was the first day the track was open and they had a party bus with a bunch of guys and broads on it. After they get into the place I notice one gal escorting the other girls to the bathroom one at a time. Gee I wonder what that was all about. That's when this tall, good looking brunette wearing a bikini top with a denim jacket and skirt approaches our table and asks us if we like pink cat. Five of us but one GB says yeah and the other says he likes purple ones which got him a slap.

She leaves and comes back about five minutes later with two pink drinks and sits on my GB lap. They slam the drink and I hear her say fourteen dollars. He gives her a $20 and she leaves.

About half an hour later I hear him mutter "I don't think she's coming back with my change."

They were obviously running whores :mentalnote: out of there now and the manager asked us if we needed any help. We politely declined. I even got to witness him grill a potential new hire. She was pretty hot.

 

[Giant Wooden Badger]

BRIDAL shower? So you're going to marry the nanny? For realz?

That's acceptable. I want to know what GM and his buddies were doing at a bridal shower.

I think that was the technical name for it. But it was really just a pre-wedding party for many who don't want to travel to Detroit next month....hard to blame them.Yes, GM is marrying his kids' former nanny. We've dated for over 2 years. She's 29, has a masters and owns her own photography business. I'm sure some will judge me negatively for it, but others will take a look at her glorious butt, smoking hot legs and give me a pass.

Kind of hard to do without pics, GB.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

About half an hour later I hear him mutter "I don't think she's coming back with my change."

What a nimrod.

 

[General Malaise]

Anyhow, I'll grow out the beard for a week, then shave it all, save for the moustache,

Kind of the ##### way to go about it, no?

It's going to take about a week or so to even get a starter stache growing. Once I take off the training wheels, I'll have to carry the ChiMo stache for 10 full days, including painting it black man black.

 

[General Malaise]

We have our annual drinking/gambling, and if we have time fishing/golf trip, next week so we had a little meeting to make sure everyone was on the same page. We do this every year and meet at the same bar because it is centrally located. Now, the waitresses are always scantily clad and usually pretty hot but yesterday they were, for the most part, just skanks. Our waitress apparently missed the memo that she passed her prime at least 5 years ago and I asked my buddy if he thought she would be offended if I requested that she wear a burka.

Everybody finally gets there (seven of us +1 in KC who will meet us) and we start making plans in between random stories from the past. That is until some broad with a horrible lisp approaches our table and says "oh hings are habout to get cwazy!" Yesterday was the first day the track was open and they had a party bus with a bunch of guys and broads on it. After they get into the place I notice one gal escorting the other girls to the bathroom one at a time. Gee I wonder what that was all about. That's when this tall, good looking brunette wearing a bikini top with a denim jacket and skirt approaches our table and asks us if we like pink cat. Five of us but one GB says yeah and the other says he likes purple ones which got him a slap.

She leaves and comes back about five minutes later with two pink drinks and sits on my GB lap. They slam the drink and I hear her say fourteen dollars. He gives her a $20 and she leaves.

About half an hour later I hear him mutter "I don't think she's coming back with my change."

They were obviously running whores :mentalnote: out of there now and the manager asked us if we needed any help. We politely declined. I even got to witness him grill a potential new hire. She was pretty hot.

What means this?

 

[St. Louis Bob]

We have our annual drinking/gambling, and if we have time fishing/golf trip, next week so we had a little meeting to make sure everyone was on the same page. We do this every year and meet at the same bar because it is centrally located. Now, the waitresses are always scantily clad and usually pretty hot but yesterday they were, for the most part, just skanks. Our waitress apparently missed the memo that she passed her prime at least 5 years ago and I asked my buddy if he thought she would be offended if I requested that she wear a burka.

Everybody finally gets there (seven of us +1 in KC who will meet us) and we start making plans in between random stories from the past. That is until some broad with a horrible lisp approaches our table and says "oh hings are habout to get cwazy!" Yesterday was the first day the track was open and they had a party bus with a bunch of guys and broads on it. After they get into the place I notice one gal escorting the other girls to the bathroom one at a time. Gee I wonder what that was all about. That's when this tall, good looking brunette wearing a bikini top with a denim jacket and skirt approaches our table and asks us if we like pink cat. Five of us but one GB says yeah and the other says he likes purple ones which got him a slap.

She leaves and comes back about five minutes later with two pink drinks and sits on my GB lap. They slam the drink and I hear her say fourteen dollars. He gives her a $20 and she leaves.

About half an hour later I hear him mutter "I don't think she's coming back with my change."

They were obviously running whores :mentalnote: out of there now and the manager asked us if we needed any help. We politely declined. I even got to witness him grill a potential new hire. She was pretty hot.

So if I ever make it to STL, we can go hang out at this place right?

This was just a normal bar, in a nice neighborhood. I was the second guy there and I asked my GB WTF there were about 30 cars in the parking lot at 2:45 on a Tuesday. Oh.

Oh yeah, there was this old guy (60+) that got off the bus and had about five gals climbing all over him, kissing, rubbing etc. for a good ten minutes. I then watched him give them all some money. About an hour later he sat down at a two seat table that was right next to us and his wife walked in. My buddy remarked that it would have been great if she would have shown up earlier. Yes it would have.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

They were obviously running whores :mentalnote: out of there now and the manager asked us if we needed any help.

What means this?

We could have sex with any of the young ladies in exchange for monetary compensation.

 

[General Malaise]

They were obviously running whores :mentalnote: out of there now and the manager asked us if we needed any help.

What means this?

We could have sex with any of the young ladies in exchange for monetary compensation.

Wait, so you have bars in the area where you can just pick up whores? Without having to use craigslist or something? I gotta get to St. Louis.

 

[Thorn]

They were obviously running whores :mentalnote: out of there now and the manager asked us if we needed any help.

What means this?

We could have sex with any of the young ladies in exchange for monetary compensation.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

They were obviously running whores :mentalnote: out of there now and the manager asked us if we needed any help.

What means this?

We could have sex with any of the young ladies in exchange for monetary compensation.

Wait, so you have bars in the area where you can just pick up whores? Without having to use craigslist or something? I gotta get to St. Louis.

It was news to me GB. Apparently they take a bus to the track every Tuesday. There were about 10 of them.

6=meh

2=alright, sure

2=how much you need?

The manage that approached us looked just like this guy. His other associate was about 60 years old, wore all black including a black cowboy hat and had to use a cane. It was quite comical.

 

[Leroy Hoard]

His other associate was about 60 years old, wore all black including a black cowboy hat and had to use a cane. It was quite comical.

Cowboy Pimp is a look.

 

[General Malaise]

My mother might have given the most awkward toast in the history of mankind last night, in front of my boss, coworkers and friends. It was....hell, I don't even know how to describe. It was to speeches what Elaine Benes was to dancing. I'm pretty sure the best way to sum it up will be to post the pictures of my sister's reaction, captured by her best friend who was watching her while my mom went on and on....I would have welcomed a tornado.

As promisedThat would be my mom's arm to the left

 

[St. Louis Bob]

My mother might have given the most awkward toast in the history of mankind last night, in front of my boss, coworkers and friends. It was....hell, I don't even know how to describe. It was to speeches what Elaine Benes was to dancing. I'm pretty sure the best way to sum it up will be to post the pictures of my sister's reaction, captured by her best friend who was watching her while my mom went on and on....I would have welcomed a tornado.

As promisedThat would be my mom's arm to the left

Is your sister currently in a relationship?

 

[shuke]

My mother might have given the most awkward toast in the history of mankind last night, in front of my boss, coworkers and friends. It was....hell, I don't even know how to describe. It was to speeches what Elaine Benes was to dancing. I'm pretty sure the best way to sum it up will be to post the pictures of my sister's reaction, captured by her best friend who was watching her while my mom went on and on....I would have welcomed a tornado.

As promisedThat would be my mom's arm to the left

Hot

 

[St. Louis Bob]

My mother might have given the most awkward toast in the history of mankind last night, in front of my boss, coworkers and friends. It was....hell, I don't even know how to describe. It was to speeches what Elaine Benes was to dancing. I'm pretty sure the best way to sum it up will be to post the pictures of my sister's reaction, captured by her best friend who was watching her while my mom went on and on....I would have welcomed a tornado.

As promisedThat would be my mom's arm to the left

Hot

I saw her first, jack.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

McDowell's gave me two syrups but forgot my hotcakes. Somebody needs to die.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

McDowell's gave me two syrups but forgot my hotcakes. Somebody needs to die.

Get a rope.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Golf today. I'm going to pretend that tornado's aren't supposed to be in the area today.

And by pretend I mean drink heavily.

 

[urbanhack]

Wait, so you have bars in the area where you can just pick up whores? Without having to use craigslist or something? I gotta get to St. Louis.

There is a place right by our office that used to do this. Run by the mob and they used to have rooms upstairs. Now they just have really hot bartenders who make out and feel each other up. It's a small place and it is quite fun. lol...here are some comments from yelp:

Oh, and when I went to the bathroom I noticed that I was probably the only female in the restaurant/bar besides the bartenders. There was a huge group of guys that were completely wasted on 7pm Tuesday evening. I am not sure if this is normal, but I found it very odd.

My husband's company had their Christmas party here last Friday night, and the only reason I can think of that would explain why they picked this spot would have to be because it's within spitting distance of their office. That, or, because of the vapid, amply-hootered waitresses that Carol K. mentioned in her review. She's not lying; they teeter around in skintight dresses and 4+ inch heels, bearing much cleavage and, umm, offering GREAT customer service. Maybe they're not equipped to cater parties like that, and in normal dinner circumstances the food would be much better. I won't be able to tell you, though, because I won't be back to eat. The bar area seemed to be where the real party was, and the bar attendants, for all their hooter-ness, were actually very nice. There's an upstairs that remains a mystery, although I did hear a rumor about what shenanigans take place. I shall leave it at that.

The help wanted ad for this place has to read something like, "Help wanted. Need long haired girls who are willing to work in 4 inch stilettos with low cut tops that show off perky breasts. Must be willing to fraternize with the customers including having them touch you all over while you run your hands up and down their backs and whisper in their ear."Really? All the staff here, with the exception of Vera, seem to not know anything about bartending, but who excel at "Customer Relations" if you know what I mean. We stopped in for drinks and a bite to eat the other night and I now know why I was the only woman in the place. As my friend says, it's a "brodeo" with all the guys jockeying for position for a glimpse of those aforementioned boobs (not hard to do by the way- they are always on display)

But then the house music from the bar started getting louder, and it was just surreal: skankily-dressed women, drunk 20-something guys... is this a charming old Italian restaurant in the South Loop, or a meat market in the Viagra Triangle? Also, it smells like stale cigarettes and old carpet. (Think of the poorest friend you had growing up; it smells like their house.) And there was a baby cricket hopping around in the bathroom.

 

[urbanhack]

Golf today. I'm going to pretend that tornado's aren't supposed to be in the area today.And by pretend I mean drink heavily.

 

[Radical Larry]

For once. FOR ONCE I have you jaggles beat.

Leaving for Vegas directly from work at 3:20. I'm going to be straight-arming 13 year olds out of the way like Earl Campbell at a skate party.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

For once. FOR ONCE I have you jaggles beat.Leaving for Vegas directly from work at 3:20. I'm going to be straight-arming 13 year olds out of the way like Earl Campbell at a skate party.

Lucky bastich.Hopefully you're on teh stripper express flight.

 

[Radical Larry]

For once. FOR ONCE I have you jaggles beat.Leaving for Vegas directly from work at 3:20. I'm going to be straight-arming 13 year olds out of the way like Earl Campbell at a skate party.

Lucky bastich.Hopefully you're on teh stripper express flight.

I'm driving over alone. I like to warm up before I get there...yank on the gear shift and throw handfuls of quarters out the window.

 

[urbanhack]

For once. FOR ONCE I have you jaggles beat.Leaving for Vegas directly from work at 3:20. I'm going to be straight-arming 13 year olds out of the way like Earl Campbell at a skate party.

Lucky bastich.Hopefully you're on teh stripper express flight.

I'm driving over alone. I like to warm up before I get there...yank on the gear shift and throw handfuls of quarters out the window.

You still picking woz up along the way?

 

[Radical Larry]

For once. FOR ONCE I have you jaggles beat.Leaving for Vegas directly from work at 3:20. I'm going to be straight-arming 13 year olds out of the way like Earl Campbell at a skate party.

Lucky bastich.Hopefully you're on teh stripper express flight.

I'm driving over alone. I like to warm up before I get there...yank on the gear shift and throw handfuls of quarters out the window.

You still picking woz up along the way?

Unfortunately he's at least an hour out of the way. Maybe next trip.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

For once. FOR ONCE I have you jaggles beat.Leaving for Vegas directly from work at 3:20. I'm going to be straight-arming 13 year olds out of the way like Earl Campbell at a skate party.

Lucky bastich.Hopefully you're on teh stripper express flight.

I'm driving over alone. I like to warm up before I get there...yank on the gear shift and throw handfuls of quarters out the window.

How did you do?

 

[Radical Larry]

For once. FOR ONCE I have you jaggles beat.Leaving for Vegas directly from work at 3:20. I'm going to be straight-arming 13 year olds out of the way like Earl Campbell at a skate party.

Lucky bastich.Hopefully you're on teh stripper express flight.

I'm driving over alone. I like to warm up before I get there...yank on the gear shift and throw handfuls of quarters out the window.

How did you do?

Horrible. Nothing hit for me all weekend. The good news is that I'm a low roller so it doesn't amount to much. Oh and I got really drunk.

 

[General Malaise]

For once. FOR ONCE I have you jaggles beat.

Leaving for Vegas directly from work at 3:20. I'm going to be straight-arming 13 year olds out of the way like Earl Campbell at a skate party.

 

[General Malaise]

For once. FOR ONCE I have you jaggles beat.Leaving for Vegas directly from work at 3:20. I'm going to be straight-arming 13 year olds out of the way like Earl Campbell at a skate party.

Lucky bastich.Hopefully you're on teh stripper express flight.

I'm driving over alone. I like to warm up before I get there...yank on the gear shift and throw handfuls of quarters out the window.

 

[General Malaise]

"How was your weekend, GM"

Glad you asked. From the Kentucky Derby Thread....

I think I'm going to puke. True story time.

I played Blind Luck to win and boxed him for $4 with 8,11,13. I did that while still at work, over my computer through Sportsbook.com. I also had a $1 Super Box with those same horses (damn you 13!!!)

But sportsbook's horse betting section is pretty weak. Sadly, I've been slammed lately and it's the only account I've got open. When I went to key 5 on a $2 Tri Partial Wheel over 8,11,13, I noted that keying anything in a partial wheel wasn't an option. I couldn't "key" anything. So I decided to knock off from work, drive about 4 miles down the highway on my way home from work at stop at the Keystone Speakeasy, where I can mingle with OTB creatures who aren't there for happy hour, aren't there off work early and probably aren't gainfully employed at all. The only thing separating this place from Mos Eisley Cantina on Star Wars was that this place WELCOMES androids. At least, I think that's what was behind me, ordering a Greyhound through a cancer induced voice box.

Anyhow, I grabbed a beer, set down on the corner of a handrail, and jotted down my bet, something I do before I head to the window less I get stage fright or suffer from brain farts. Oh, I neglected to share this part. I might have had a puff or two from a little wooden pipe that may or may not have been kind to me. In good spirits and with 1 minute to post, I made my way over to the man behind the window (I eschew the machines) and said proudly, "Churchill, Race 11. $2 Trifecta Partial Wheel, Key 5 over 8,11,13". He rang up $12.60 (5% Oregon Vig), I gave him a $20, got fixated on his making my change, received it from him, pocketed and turned back to my corner of the handrail.

Well I was ebullient during the race! What a finish! What a comeback! What drama! And hey, I just hit a Trifecta!!! Bet that doesn't pay much. Can't pay much....what??? It pays over $300!!! SWEET!.

Only one problem, folks. This dumb mother dumpster FORGOT TO COLLECT HIS TICKET FROM THE MACHINE!!!! I nearly fainted. I informed the lone man working at the window what had happened, and he said "Check your pockets". I checked them so much already, I was fearful people would think I had fleas! I checked, and rechecked, but I knew what I'd done. I barked out "MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT! I'LL PAY A REWARD!". And he tried. And others around checked their tickets and many were sympathetic, or stoned or drunk or crazy, but at least, I felt like they cared.

Well, I waited around for a miracle. I dug through trash. I asked everyone, even those who don't speak English. They had no clue what I was saying or if they did, they didn't care and would perhaps relish in my immediate departure. I had to go pick up my boys from school soon, so I left. Demoralized. I can't believe that happened. I'm just....sick. And amused. Just when I think I'm done being stupid....