GM's thread about nothing (22 Viewers)

[Abraham]

I petted our six-month-old kitten and he was kind of wet. The following conversation then actually ensued:

Me (to kitten): Why are you all wet?

Mr. krista: Oh, I used him to dry off after I showered.

Me: Why the hell did you use the kitten to dry off?

Abuser of Kittens: When I was in the shower, he pulled my towel off the rack and it was on the floor, so I used him instead.

Me: Didn't you get fur stuck all over you?

AoK: Not that much. He's really soft and doesn't shed much.

Me: But he's tiny and you're big! You couldn't possibly have gotten dry.

AoK: Yeah, I could only get my arms and my chest dry. I didn't want to use him on my back, because...[makes shrieking kitten noise]

Me: Please tell me you didn't use him to dry your junk.

AoK: Of course not! That would be really ####ed up!

Are you still in a hotel?

No, we moved out about a month ago.

To where? Motel? Inn? Extended stay suites?

Digest.

But I digest.

Daily, but then you better post daily.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

I petted our six-month-old kitten and he was kind of wet. The following conversation then actually ensued:

Me (to kitten): Why are you all wet?

Mr. krista: Oh, I used him to dry off after I showered.

Me: Why the hell did you use the kitten to dry off?

Abuser of Kittens: When I was in the shower, he pulled my towel off the rack and it was on the floor, so I used him instead.

Me: Didn't you get fur stuck all over you?

AoK: Not that much. He's really soft and doesn't shed much.

Me: But he's tiny and you're big! You couldn't possibly have gotten dry.

AoK: Yeah, I could only get my arms and my chest dry. I didn't want to use him on my back, because...[makes shrieking kitten noise]

Me: Please tell me you didn't use him to dry your junk.

AoK: Of course not! That would be really ####ed up!

Are you still in a hotel?

 

[SofaKings]

I petted our six-month-old kitten and he was kind of wet. The following conversation then actually ensued:

Me (to kitten): Why are you all wet?

Mr. krista: Oh, I used him to dry off after I showered.

Me: Why the hell did you use the kitten to dry off?

Abuser of Kittens: When I was in the shower, he pulled my towel off the rack and it was on the floor, so I used him instead.

Me: Didn't you get fur stuck all over you?

AoK: Not that much. He's really soft and doesn't shed much.

Me: But he's tiny and you're big! You couldn't possibly have gotten dry.

AoK: Yeah, I could only get my arms and my chest dry. I didn't want to use him on my back, because...[makes shrieking kitten noise]

Me: Please tell me you didn't use him to dry your junk.

AoK: Of course not! That would be really ####ed up!

Are you still in a hotel?

No, we moved out about a month ago.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

No vag is worth stuff like this.

 

[krista4]

India is freaking me out and I haven't even left the airport

India is awesome. As was Dubai. A couple of the best meals I've had anywhere in the world were in those two spots.

Were you ever in mumbai? I'm in Goia for 3 days and then back to Mumbai for 2-3

I was, but unfortunately the great meals I had were in Delhi. Those were the only spots I visited. Do you go through Dubai on your way back? If so, do you get to go out and do anything, or just a layover?

I do, but it's only a two hour layover. Need to get home for thanksgiving. I'll be heading back this way next year. My company just opened an office in mumbai. Next time I'm taking vacation days and traveling around.

And for what it's worth, I didn't get sick at all in India. It's doable if you are careful and just know what you're doing.

 

[Ignoramus]

If one of your friend's on a message board was about to ship a blog that included links to lots of other interesting articles, would a name of "Daily" or "Digest" be the preferred nomenclature? Like "pulltabsdigest.com" or "pulltabsdaily.com"?

Digests are for old people. Something daily makes me want to check back daily.So I vote "Digest."

 

[General Malaise]

Thanks for the TPWs. My step-MiL has been moved to hospice.

If I can make one request, keep bringin the funny in here. It helps.

Oh and I never met thorn but we exchanged beers so he's solid in my book.

Inspiration

I love these. I didn't at first, but now, I'm a fan. Where can I get more?

 

[General Malaise]

Wait, how do you ship a blog? I'm still working on shipping beef jerkey and a dwindling supply of good beers.

 

[Guster]

Looks like my invite to whatever thing that's going down is over at Golfsino or something.

Coldhole weekend. Let me know your availability. There will be pull tabs, meat raffles, maybe das boot, drinking in 19 degree weather, linked meats, a football game and maybe even some greenies, who knows?

I'll be supplying the greenies.

Oh and will Mrs Frosty be making an appearance on Friday night or Saturday??

We will be meeting you guys after the game Saturday for a while.

I'll be in my finest form after 11 hours of drinking and #####ing about the cold

to great first impressions

 

[Guster]

I'm jealous of anyone meeting Thorn for the first time. It is a pretty awesome experience.

Thanks, GB

 

[Guster]

Looks like my invite to whatever thing that's going down is over at Golfsino or something.

Coldhole weekend. Let me know your availability. There will be pull tabs, meat raffles, maybe das boot, drinking in 19 degree weather, linked meats, a football game and maybe even some greenies, who knows?

I'll be supplying the greenies. Oh and will Mrs Frosty be making an appearance on Friday night or Saturday??

Were there greenies in Austin? Why wasn't I offered any?

They were in the pill bottle on the circular table on the patio

 

[bentley]

Everybody who dies gets the, "he was such a great guy. Everybody loved him" treatment.

#### that. I'm gonna live forever

"That miserable ##### is never gonna die. "

The funerals I've been to all involve these people with deep connections to everyone there and people have these stories about how the deceased made the world a better place. I always imagine at my that someone will stand up and say "That bentley, he usually didn't stick his #### in the mashed potatoes." Then everyone will get drunk enough that they don't really remember what happened and go on with their life.

Preparing to give my magnum opus, the 95 slide presentation on presenting in the morning. Every time I do this, I have people in the class send me a recent slide presentation to use for examples of dos and don'ts throughout the class. I don't think anyone has ever sent me a good slide deck. This time I had someone send me a 15 slide show that was nothing other than a reprint of a section from the Texas Labor Code with no bullet points, images, animation or anything else.

Are you using prezi? It's what all the cool kids are using...

I do sometimes but there's no way I'm turning the rest of these jerks around here loose with it.

 

[UniAlias]

What the heck are greenies?

 

[Guster]

What the heck are greenies?

Amphetamines

 

[St. Louis Bob]

I'm jealous of anyone meeting Thorn for the first time. It is a pretty awesome experience.

If any TP&Ws are left out there, send a few Texas way. My ex-wife's new husband is having surgery today to remove kidney cancer.

While I hate that my marriage didn't last, and hate that she got married so quickly, I do have to say he is a very solid guy and very good for my kids (and actually good for my ex). I need this guy to stick around.

Thanks,

:( T&P's brother

TP&Ws to all that need them, and you can include my aunt if you have any left. She has been sick for a very, very long time, but finally her cancer has spread, and it appears that she does not want any more treatment, which likely means this is her last holiday season. It is, I think one of those blessings in that it ends suffering, but I know it will be hard on my mother.

I think it's harder sometimes when they are sick for a long time. You fool yourself into thinking they will be around forever. T&P's to you GB. :(

Let's all just call in sick tomorrow and get ####-faced.

Man I wish I could do this. Like every day for the rest of my life.

 

[heckmanm]

What the heck are greenies?

These

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Thanks for the TPWs. My step-MiL has been moved to hospice.

If I can make one request, keep bringin the funny in here. It helps.

Oh and I never met thorn but we exchanged beers so he's solid in my book.

This doesn't qualify so much as funny as weird. For dinner I had a Tiger Roll, bratwurst with sauerkraut and nachos.

Hang in there GB. :(

 

[St. Louis Bob]

I petted our six-month-old kitten and he was kind of wet. The following conversation then actually ensued:

Me (to kitten): Why are you all wet?

Mr. krista: Oh, I used him to dry off after I showered.

Me: Why the hell did you use the kitten to dry off?

Abuser of Kittens: When I was in the shower, he pulled my towel off the rack and it was on the floor, so I used him instead.

Me: Didn't you get fur stuck all over you?

AoK: Not that much. He's really soft and doesn't shed much.

Me: But he's tiny and you're big! You couldn't possibly have gotten dry.

AoK: Yeah, I could only get my arms and my chest dry. I didn't want to use him on my back, because...[makes shrieking kitten noise]

Me: Please tell me you didn't use him to dry your junk.

AoK: Of course not! That would be really ####ed up!

I think he's try to tell you something.

 

[Frostillicus]

What the heck are greenies?

Amphetamines

Or a drink made exclusively at one of Northeast Minneapolis's finest bars and my dads house.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Some good news, Cal has been doing great the last month or so. He has been so much fun to be around. He's back to his old self.

I picked him up from school this afternoon for a visit with his shrink when he pulled out his graded test papers. He had 4-100%, a 92% and an 80% in various subjects.

His shrink said she didn't see any reason to keep seeing him which is very cool. My experience with a lot of people in this profession is that you should never, ever, stop seeing them. So we are on a call as needed basis.

When we got home, I beat Cal silly with a bottle of Tide for that 80% though. Don't want him to think I'm going soft.

 

[Stoneys]

Thanks for the TPWs. My step-MiL has been moved to hospice.

If I can make one request, keep bringin the funny in here. It helps.

Oh and I never met thorn but we exchanged beers so he's solid in my book.

Inspiration

 

[Abraham]

Good job cal. Credit to his mother...and that guy smoking cigs in the basement.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

3200!

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

What the heck are greenies?

Amphetamines

Or a drink made exclusively at one of Northeast Minneapolis's finest bars and my dads house.

Spoilsport

 

[YSR]

So confused. If there was a bottle of something called "greenies" in Austin, I damn sure would have taken one for post-baby. I imagine it would have the same effect as a random pull I found on the floor.

 

[krista4]

So confused. If there was a bottle of something called "greenies" in Austin, I damn sure would have taken one for post-baby. I imagine it would have the same effect as a random pull I found on the floor.

The only thing I know called greenies are the little toothbrushes you give to your dog.

 

[krista4]

#######IT, THAT STORY ABOUT MR KRISTA DRYING OFF WITH THE KITTEN WAS FUNNY!111

Or do guys just do that? Is it perfectly acceptable to dry yourself off with a pet?

 

[kevzilla]

I petted our six-month-old kitten and he was kind of wet. The following conversation then actually ensued:

Me (to kitten): Why are you all wet?

Mr. krista: Oh, I used him to dry off after I showered.

Me: Why the hell did you use the kitten to dry off?

Abuser of Kittens: When I was in the shower, he pulled my towel off the rack and it was on the floor, so I used him instead.

Me: Didn't you get fur stuck all over you?

AoK: Not that much. He's really soft and doesn't shed much.

Me: But he's tiny and you're big! You couldn't possibly have gotten dry.

AoK: Yeah, I could only get my arms and my chest dry. I didn't want to use him on my back, because...[makes shrieking kitten noise]

Me: Please tell me you didn't use him to dry your junk.

AoK: Of course not! That would be really ####ed up!

For the first time ever, a cat was useful, and you're complaining. <_<

 

[bentley]

#######IT, THAT STORY ABOUT MR KRISTA DRYING OFF WITH THE KITTEN WAS FUNNY!111

Or do guys just do that? Is it perfectly acceptable to dry yourself off with a pet?

Cats don't seem that absorbent.

 

[krista4]

#######IT, THAT STORY ABOUT MR KRISTA DRYING OFF WITH THE KITTEN WAS FUNNY!111

Or do guys just do that? Is it perfectly acceptable to dry yourself off with a pet?

Cats don't seem that absorbent.

Taken out of context, that would be a great sig.

 

[Mr.Pack]

Thanks for the TPWs. My step-MiL has been moved to hospice.

If I can make one request, keep bringin the funny in here. It helps.

Oh and I never met thorn but we exchanged beers so he's solid in my book.

Inspiration

I just don't get these things

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Good job cal. Credit to his mother...and that guy smoking cigs in the basement.

Thanks GB. It's nice not being scared to open e-mails or receive calls from school.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

This is scary.

Married people,

The threat of super gonorrhea
Three nightmare superbugs have become so virulent that they pose an "urgent" risk to the health of Americans, says the CDC. The first is C. difficile, a deadly diarrhea-causing infection; the second, a bloodstream infection that kills half the people it infects; and the third, a drug-resistant form of gonorrhea — an age-old sexually transmitted disease that's evolved to become resistant to the last drug available against it, raising the prospect of a sexually transmitted global epidemic. This "super gonorrhea" tends to spread through unprotected oral sex. The microbes sit in the throat, multiply, and can enter the bloodstream, infecting the skin, heart valves — and even the brain. Some public officials predict that super gonorrhea will be widespread in five to eight years, and that we'll be powerless to fight it. "We're getting closer and closer to the edge of the cliff," warns CDC Director Tom Frieden.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

We also, finally, watched the first two episodes of Breaking Bad last night. Pretty good but somewhat predictable.

 

[Mr.Pack]

Some good news, Cal has been doing great the last month or so. He has been so much fun to be around. He's back to his old self.

I picked him up from school this afternoon for a visit with his shrink when he pulled out his graded test papers. He had 4-100%, a 92% and an 80% in various subjects.

His shrink said she didn't see any reason to keep seeing him which is very cool. My experience with a lot of people in this profession is that you should never, ever, stop seeing them. So we are on a call as needed basis.

When we got home, I beat Cal silly with a bottle of Tide for that 80% though. Don't want him to think I'm going soft.

So awesome!

 

[Captain Quinoa]

#######IT, THAT STORY ABOUT MR KRISTA DRYING OFF WITH THE KITTEN WAS FUNNY!111

Or do guys just do that? Is it perfectly acceptable to dry yourself off with a pet?

were you waiting for the obligatory "wet #####" joke?

 

[krista4]

#######IT, THAT STORY ABOUT MR KRISTA DRYING OFF WITH THE KITTEN WAS FUNNY!111

Or do guys just do that? Is it perfectly acceptable to dry yourself off with a pet?

were you waiting for the obligatory "wet #####" joke?

Well not if it's obligatory.

 

[Bogart]

I'm jealous of anyone meeting Thorn for the first time. It is a pretty awesome experience.

Thanks, GB

Meeting you was also an awesome experience, especially the time we spent in the backseat. "Ouch".

 

[YSR]

Is that woman's cat still writing you emails?

 

[krista4]

I don't need the TPW that are no doubt listed in your sigs. I need a ####### miracle to ensure that our oft-postponed house closing goes off as planned on Thursday. If it does, first drink for all Jimtanners is on me. Please cross all fingers and toes for 36 hours.

 

[krista4]

Is that woman's cat still writing you emails?

No. :(

It's not that I miss the emails, but I do worry about the woman a bit.

 

[Chemical X]

ciao

 

[Bogart]

The newBogart made it out of surgery, tumor removed.

Meanwhile my daughter is curled up next to me, passed out in her pajamas (hi Guster) and "sleeping cape". It's going to be a pain in the ### driving an hour to get the kids to school, but this moment right now, is worth it.

 

[strykerpks]

We also, finally, watched the first two episodes of Breaking Bad last night. Pretty good but somewhat predictable.

Whoa. Mrs. Stryker and I watched the first two as well

 

[YSR]

Not that this has any real bearing on anything being discussed here, but Romo is 100% a meat and potatoes guy and to that end, he recently brought home a sack of potatoes. I've been trying to figure out things to do so they don't go bad. I made the Pioneer Woman's Potatoes Au Gratin on Sunday, and then again tonight. It's pretty fatty, but delicious and really easy.

Now back to online poker.

ETA: k4, please don't send OH after me - I know nothing about her, she may be a complete hack in food circles but it was the first recipe I came to and it's pretty awesome.

 

[krista4]

Not that this has any real bearing on anything being discussed here, but Romo is 100% a meat and potatoes guy and to that end, he recently brought home a sack of potatoes. I've been trying to figure out things to do so they don't go bad. I made the Pioneer Woman's Potatoes Au Gratin on Sunday, and then again tonight. It's pretty fatty, but delicious and really easy.

Now back to online poker.

ETA: k4, please don't send OH after me - I know nothing about her, she may be a complete hack in food circles but it was the first recipe I came to and it's pretty awesome.

I didn't click that particular link, but a friend of mine whom I like and respect is really into her stuff, but I'm always amazed that "Pioneer Woman" uses a bunch of processed crap. I don't get the thing, but as far as I'm concerned, any Potatoes Au Gratin are A-OK.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

What the heck are greenies?

Amphetamines

WE HAD ACCESS TO THESE AND I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT IT!?!?!?!?

WHAT THE MOTHER ###%

 

[YSR]

Not that this has any real bearing on anything being discussed here, but Romo is 100% a meat and potatoes guy and to that end, he recently brought home a sack of potatoes. I've been trying to figure out things to do so they don't go bad. I made the Pioneer Woman's Potatoes Au Gratin on Sunday, and then again tonight. It's pretty fatty, but delicious and really easy.

Now back to online poker.

ETA: k4, please don't send OH after me - I know nothing about her, she may be a complete hack in food circles but it was the first recipe I came to and it's pretty awesome.

I didn't click that particular link, but a friend of mine whom I like and respect is really into her stuff, but I'm always amazed that "Pioneer Woman" uses a bunch of processed crap. I don't get the thing, but as far as I'm concerned, any Potatoes Au Gratin are A-OK.

The recipe in the link is about as simple and fatty as you can get, but we are digging it.

 

[Thorn]

What the heck are greenies?

Amphetamines

WE HAD ACCESS TO THESE AND I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT IT!?!?!?!?

WHAT THE MOTHER ###%

It was for the best, trust us.

 

[Ignoramus]

I don't need the TPW that are no doubt listed in your sigs. I need a ####### miracle to ensure that our oft-postponed house closing goes off as planned on Thursday. If it does, first drink for all Jimtanners is on me. Please cross all fingers and toes for 36 hours.

:fingerscrossed:Everything happens when it's Supposed To Happen.