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GM's thread about nothing (26 Viewers)
- Thread starter General Malaise
- Start date
T Bell
Footballguy
Me neither, except for one where I was set up with some nutty chick by a friend for the winter formal my senior year. It was a disaster.
General Malaise
Footballguy
When I was back in Texas, I stayed with the lady holding the snake. She has this picture up in her house. She's like my second mom, except, you know....attractive. 
Idiot Boxer
Footballguy
Nice skin
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
Too busy hunting mammoths.
Freshman year: You could only go to the Winter Formal if you were a Freshman or Soph. Prom was for Jrs and Srs. I was out of town the weekend they held it. This one girl, named Madonna (seriously), asked me to go. Broke the poor girl's heart when I told her I was going out of town. Pretty sure she never recovered.
Sophomore year: By now I was way too cool to be into stuff like formals and proms.
Junior year: Same deal as above.
Senior year: I figured I would go to the prom just so I said I went to one. Asked this chick I was really good friends with to go. I was a couple of days late. Some dildo from Cal Poly was going to take her (what's the consensus on college dudes going to HS proms? Difficulty level: Homer). I just Jay Cutlered it off.
I don't think I missed out on much.
Frostillicus
Footballguy
-fish-
Footballguy
quick...to the photoshops!!!When I was back in Texas, I stayed with the lady holding the snake. She has this picture up in her house. She's like my second mom, except, you know....attractive.
Bogart
Footballguy
![[icon]](/data/avatars/m/5/5167.jpg?1660313464){kind=avatar}
[icon]
Insoxicated
General Malaise
Footballguy
I went here or there, but my buddy Judson (RIP), man....he went to ALL the dances. The girls used to have Hi Lights or somesuch where they asked guys to the dance. He went to all of those. He went to all the Sadie Hawkins dances at private schools. Dude had it going on. When he passed, a bunch of gals from our class started posting their group pictures of all the dances from the 80s/90s. There were dozens of these.
My wife asked me "Hey, how come you're not in any of these group shots".
Thanks honey. Way to rub salt into a 20 year old wound. 
Judson was a good friend to have in HS. #spillover
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
Please tell me that snake was a pet and not part of some hardcore, Christian church service.When I was back in Texas, I stayed with the lady holding the snake. She has this picture up in her house. She's like my second mom, except, you know....attractive.
And does your shirt say "Jesus"?
Last edited by a moderator:
General Malaise
Footballguy
Please tell me that snake was a pet and not part of some hardcore, Christian church service.When I was back in Texas, I stayed with the lady holding the snake. She has this picture up in her house. She's like my second mom, except, you know....attractive.
Nah, Beth has worked at the Dallas Zoo for an eternity. We grew up next door to her and she had 5 dogs, 4 cats, exotic birds, snakes. Big old snakes. One day they were fumigating her house (go figure) so she put her giant snake in a pillow case (non euphemism) and brought it over to our house. She left the snake on the floor of my parents bedroom in the pillow case and then went for a long walk with my mom (something they did every day with SLB regularity).
Well, old man Malaise comes home from work, frustrated I'm sure by being a terrible writer, goes into the bedroom to change his clothes and sees the pillow case on the floor. He did what any ordinary average guy would do and tried to kick the pillow case up off the floor and onto the bed with the rest of the laundry that needed to be folded. Now my dad is a very quiet, meek guy, but I could hear his scream from down the block when the pillow case hissed angrily at him and began thrashing about the floor.
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
Please tell me that snake was a pet and not part of some hardcore, Christian church service.When I was back in Texas, I stayed with the lady holding the snake. She has this picture up in her house. She's like my second mom, except, you know....attractive.
Nah, Beth has worked at the Dallas Zoo for an eternity. We grew up next door to her and she had 5 dogs, 4 cats, exotic birds, snakes. Big old snakes. One day they were fumigating her house (go figure) so she put her giant snake in a pillow case (non euphemism) and brought it over to our house. She left the snake on the floor of my parents bedroom in the pillow case and then went for a long walk with my mom (something they did every day with SLB regularity).
Well, old man Malaise comes home from work, frustrated I'm sure by being a terrible writer, goes into the bedroom to change his clothes and sees the pillow case on the floor. He did what any ordinary average guy would do and tried to kick the pillow case up off the floor and onto the bed with the rest of the laundry that needed to be folded. Now my dad is a very quiet, meek guy, but I could hear his scream from down the block when the pillow case hissed angrily at him and began thrashing about the floor.
Notorious T.R.E.
Showdown!™ Administrator
I got some useful info out of it. I'm too lazy to check most other threads. Do love me some Baines.
Notorious T.R.E.
Showdown!™ Administrator
Does your shirt say Jews or Jesus?When I was back in Texas, I stayed with the lady holding the snake. She has this picture up in her house. She's like my second mom, except, you know....attractive.
Idiot Boxer
Footballguy
I went to three proms.
At my school it was "Seniors Only" (and their dates), so when I was asked by a senior as a junior, I thought I was hot ####. Had a nice time. Unromantic but enjoyable.
My senior year I'd been dating a sophomore cheerleader for awhile. Asked her to prom she said yes. A week before prom she tells me she just wants to be friends. I tell her "that's fine, but I don't want to go to prom with just a 'friend'" Hang up. Call junior girl who I know has a thing for me. Tell her I may need a backup-emergency-prom date. She's cool and understanding about it and says yes. Original girlfriend calls back in tears, apologizing. Telling me we can work it out and that she want to go to prom. (Incidentally, I know that her parents had a dress MADE for her for the prom and I really did like her parents). Ended up taking her and having a terrible time.
My freshman year in college, one week before prom, the "backup-emergency-prom date" from the year before calls me explaining that she and her boyfriend had just broken up and she needed a "backup emergency prom date." Not sure I could say no, even if I'd wanted to. Went and had a very nice time
At my school it was "Seniors Only" (and their dates), so when I was asked by a senior as a junior, I thought I was hot ####. Had a nice time. Unromantic but enjoyable.
My senior year I'd been dating a sophomore cheerleader for awhile. Asked her to prom she said yes. A week before prom she tells me she just wants to be friends. I tell her "that's fine, but I don't want to go to prom with just a 'friend'" Hang up. Call junior girl who I know has a thing for me. Tell her I may need a backup-emergency-prom date. She's cool and understanding about it and says yes. Original girlfriend calls back in tears, apologizing. Telling me we can work it out and that she want to go to prom. (Incidentally, I know that her parents had a dress MADE for her for the prom and I really did like her parents). Ended up taking her and having a terrible time.
My freshman year in college, one week before prom, the "backup-emergency-prom date" from the year before calls me explaining that she and her boyfriend had just broken up and she needed a "backup emergency prom date." Not sure I could say no, even if I'd wanted to. Went and had a very nice time
Notorious T.R.E.
Showdown!™ Administrator
DAMMIT!Please tell me that snake was a pet and not part of some hardcore, Christian church service.When I was back in Texas, I stayed with the lady holding the snake. She has this picture up in her house. She's like my second mom, except, you know....attractive.
And does your shirt say "Jesus"?
General Malaise
Footballguy
Jets. I played soccer for The Jets.
Notorious T.R.E.
Showdown!™ Administrator
Please tell me that snake was a pet and not part of some hardcore, Christian church service.When I was back in Texas, I stayed with the lady holding the snake. She has this picture up in her house. She's like my second mom, except, you know....attractive.
Nah, Beth has worked at the Dallas Zoo for an eternity. We grew up next door to her and she had 5 dogs, 4 cats, exotic birds, snakes. Big old snakes. One day they were fumigating her house (go figure) so she put her giant snake in a pillow case (non euphemism) and brought it over to our house. She left the snake on the floor of my parents bedroom in the pillow case and then went for a long walk with my mom (something they did every day with SLB regularity).
Well, old man Malaise comes home from work, frustrated I'm sure by being a terrible writer, goes into the bedroom to change his clothes and sees the pillow case on the floor. He did what any ordinary average guy would do and tried to kick the pillow case up off the floor and onto the bed with the rest of the laundry that needed to be folded. Now my dad is a very quiet, meek guy, but I could hear his scream from down the block when the pillow case hissed angrily at him and began thrashing about the floor.
Drifter
Footballguy
Are you wearing a Jesus shirt while looking adoringly at your snake charmer MILF?When I was back in Texas, I stayed with the lady holding the snake. She has this picture up in her house. She's like my second mom, except, you know....attractive.
Drifter
Footballguy
Indeed.DAMMIT!Please tell me that snake was a pet and not part of some hardcore, Christian church service.When I was back in Texas, I stayed with the lady holding the snake. She has this picture up in her house. She's like my second mom, except, you know....attractive.
And does your shirt say "Jesus"?
Still needs to be answered.
Leeroy Jenkins
Footballguy
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
Frostillicus
Footballguy
Nathan R. Jessep
Footballguy
Frostillicus
Footballguy
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
Christ. You're right.
Either way it's funny because the cat is fat and probably dehydrated.
Last edited by a moderator:
Nathan R. Jessep
Footballguy
My freshman year in college, one week before prom, the "backup-emergency-prom date" from the year before calls me explaining that she and her boyfriend had just broken up and she needed a "backup emergency prom date." Not sure I could say no, even if I'd wanted to. Went and had a very nice time
Notorious T.R.E.
Showdown!™ Administrator
Last edited by a moderator:
Limp Ditka
Footballguy
Idiot Boxer
Footballguy
yeah, well I pretty much had no choice as she'd agreed to be my emergency stand in the year before, but it ended up great in any caseMy freshman year in college, one week before prom, the "backup-emergency-prom date" from the year before calls me explaining that she and her boyfriend had just broken up and she needed a "backup emergency prom date." Not sure I could say no, even if I'd wanted to. Went and had a very nice time
Nathan R. Jessep
Footballguy
definitely respectable andyeah, well I pretty much had no choice as she'd agreed to be my emergency stand in the year before, but it ended up great in any caseMy freshman year in college, one week before prom, the "backup-emergency-prom date" from the year before calls me explaining that she and her boyfriend had just broken up and she needed a "backup emergency prom date." Not sure I could say no, even if I'd wanted to. Went and had a very nice time
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
100% related story my buddy told me yesterday. He's one of our deans so we'll call him Dean.
We've got this kid who is a just a total ####-up. We'll call him Capone. He was at our school in 6th grade and basically told that if he didn't go to a different school he would be expelled. No idea where he was in 7th grade. Probably San Quinton. I do know he did a few months in Juvy for having an unloaded gun down his pants or something over the summer. Some how he is allowed back this year for 8th grade.
He's been in my class for maybe 20 days. The rest of the time he's been in "Opportunity" or just not in school.
So the other day somebody from the nearby HS faxes over a permission slip to Dean the dean. Apparently Capone is supposed to go to the HS winter formal with some Freshman broad. He's an 8th grader...she's a Freshman. Just odd. Anyway the HS requires that any student not from their HS who is going to attend as a date must get this permission/qualification slip filled out by somebody at their school.
So Dean looks over this sheet and there are like 4 things that can automatically disqualify someone from being able to attend the formal as a date/guest.
*Being on probation
*Being on some sort of school disciplinary plan/probation.
*Chronically truant
*Academic probation
Capone is 4 for 4.
So Dean figures he might as well call somebody at the HS and tell her exactly what is going on with this kid instead of just faxing it back.
He gets a hold of one of the deans at the HS and explains it to her.
HS lady: Wow. Yeah, I don't think we'll grant Mr. Capone permission to attend our formal.
Dean: I wouldn't either.
HS: lady: By the way...who is the girl he's supposed to go with?
Dean: Hmmm...lemme look...Oh, Sally Jones.
HS lady: ahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!
Dean: Not exactly president of the Honor Society?
HS lady: Yeah, no. And I'm almost positive she's not eligible to go to our prom. Thanks for the laugh.
We've got this kid who is a just a total ####-up. We'll call him Capone. He was at our school in 6th grade and basically told that if he didn't go to a different school he would be expelled. No idea where he was in 7th grade. Probably San Quinton. I do know he did a few months in Juvy for having an unloaded gun down his pants or something over the summer. Some how he is allowed back this year for 8th grade.
He's been in my class for maybe 20 days. The rest of the time he's been in "Opportunity" or just not in school.
So the other day somebody from the nearby HS faxes over a permission slip to Dean the dean. Apparently Capone is supposed to go to the HS winter formal with some Freshman broad. He's an 8th grader...she's a Freshman. Just odd. Anyway the HS requires that any student not from their HS who is going to attend as a date must get this permission/qualification slip filled out by somebody at their school.
So Dean looks over this sheet and there are like 4 things that can automatically disqualify someone from being able to attend the formal as a date/guest.
*Being on probation
*Being on some sort of school disciplinary plan/probation.
*Chronically truant
*Academic probation
Capone is 4 for 4.
So Dean figures he might as well call somebody at the HS and tell her exactly what is going on with this kid instead of just faxing it back.
He gets a hold of one of the deans at the HS and explains it to her.
HS lady: Wow. Yeah, I don't think we'll grant Mr. Capone permission to attend our formal.
Dean: I wouldn't either.
HS: lady: By the way...who is the girl he's supposed to go with?
Dean: Hmmm...lemme look...Oh, Sally Jones.
HS lady: ahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!
Dean: Not exactly president of the Honor Society?
HS lady: Yeah, no. And I'm almost positive she's not eligible to go to our prom. Thanks for the laugh.
heckmanm
Footballguy
Limp Ditka
Footballguy
Bet Sally's a whore
I like the part where the Dean was actually named Dean.
Homer J Simpson
I don't push
Homer J Simpson
I don't push
-fish-
Footballguy
some people complained that when the condo above them (owned by the Wang family) installed hardwood floors that some thinset got onto their balcony.
my billing entry: review photos of Wang unit ooze
badmojo1006
Footballguy
After two months of almost no precipitation, it is raining pretty hard in my town
Leeroy Jenkins
Footballguy
There are deans in high school now? Not just super intendants and principals?
Homer J Simpson
I don't push
Zow
Footballguy
Best part
Good Posting Judge
Footballguy
Guster
Footballguy
4 left
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