GM's thread about nothing (60 Viewers)

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Shooting in Oildale

The story isn't all that interesting but there's a cat in that first photo that gives absolutely zero ##cks.

 

[T Bell]

Shooting in Oildale

The story isn't all that interesting but there's a cat in that first photo that gives absolutely zero ##cks.

Nice job, Bakersfield Californian:

question 1 of up to 2:
Which of the following best describes you?
My youngest child is 13+ years
My youngest child is between 7 - 13 years
I have at least 1 child younger than 6 years
I have no children



My kid's 6. Now what?

 

[-fish-]

Shooting in Oildale

The story isn't all that interesting but there's a cat in that first photo that gives absolutely zero ##cks.

Nice job, Bakersfield Californian:

question 1 of up to 2:
Which of the following best describes you?
My youngest child is 13+ years
My youngest child is between 7 - 13 years
I have at least 1 child younger than 6 years
I have no children



My kid's 6. Now what?

you can't read their paper.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Shooting in Oildale

The story isn't all that interesting but there's a cat in that first photo that gives absolutely zero ##cks.

I have to answer questions before reading? Who does Bakersfield think they are? Des Moines?

 

[Guster]

Not to keep stepping on Tanner's toes...

Sir Charles, The Rock and Shaq

and The Rock is 6'5" 260lbs

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Just got the standings for the bball bet

Dickfaces 38

Stanford & Tennessee

Team SLB 33

UCONN, Florida, Wisconsin, Louisville

I've Never Felt A ###### 31

UCONN, Baylor

 

[St. Louis Bob]

**crickets**

So back when I was 25 I was so cool I had two assistants. The one I've mentioned before. She could pass for Janet Jones.

The other was a larger woman, really nice, extremely competent. I requested her because she knew what she was doing. She lived most of her life in Texas and was very outspoken and in your face. One time she was giving me hell about something and bobbing her head back and forth. I started laughing and said something like "you look like you're about to turn into a tornado". Well it stuck. From then on, she was known as the Texas Tornado.

What was I getting at? Oh yeah.

I had this products show going on down at AB and thought it would be a good idea to bring the hot broad with me. I learned this in business school. The show went great, I sold a lot of stuff and my ribs hurt from from the elbows of the old boys down there.

The next morning TT asks if she can talk to me. Sure. We go in the conference room and this person that I've only seen as strong as steel, breaks down in tears. "You asked (hot pants) to go instead of me because I'm not as good looking right?!! (crying hysterically)"

I've sort of blacked out what happened next but she did marry her second husband soon after. He liked to dress up like a clown. Turns out he was a pedophile. I'm as shocked as anybody.

 

[T Bell]

**crickets**

So back when I was 25 I was so cool I had two assistants. The one I've mentioned before. She could pass for Janet Jones.

The other was a larger woman, really nice, extremely competent. I requested her because she knew what she was doing. She lived most of her life in Texas and was very outspoken and in your face. One time she was giving me hell about something and bobbing her head back and forth. I started laughing and said something like "you look like you're about to turn into a tornado". Well it stuck. From then on, she was known as the Texas Tornado.

What was I getting at? Oh yeah.

I had this products show going on down at AB and thought it would be a good idea to bring the hot broad with me. I learned this in business school. The show went great, I sold a lot of stuff and my ribs hurt from from the elbows of the old boys down there.

The next morning TT asks if she can talk to me. Sure. We go in the conference room and this person that I've only seen as strong as steel, breaks down in tears. "You asked (hot pants) to go instead of me because I'm not as good looking right?!! (crying hysterically)"

I've sort of blacked out what happened next but she did marry her second husband soon after. He liked to dress up like a clown. Turns out he was a pedophile. I'm as shocked as anybody.

Ok, so just in the last 24 hours you've regaled us with tales of two ladies:

1) one whose hubby liked to dress up as a civil war re-enactor and simulate in gritty reality the Battle of Man-Asses with his wannabe regiment; and

2) one whose hubby liked to dress up as Bozo and diddle little kids.

Nice women you attract.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Forgot to reply to Ford, re: beard

I shave my head everyday so I keep it knocked down and consistent. I use my sunglasses to check length just to make sure.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

**crickets**

So back when I was 25 I was so cool I had two assistants. The one I've mentioned before. She could pass for Janet Jones.

The other was a larger woman, really nice, extremely competent. I requested her because she knew what she was doing. She lived most of her life in Texas and was very outspoken and in your face. One time she was giving me hell about something and bobbing her head back and forth. I started laughing and said something like "you look like you're about to turn into a tornado". Well it stuck. From then on, she was known as the Texas Tornado.

What was I getting at? Oh yeah.

I had this products show going on down at AB and thought it would be a good idea to bring the hot broad with me. I learned this in business school. The show went great, I sold a lot of stuff and my ribs hurt from from the elbows of the old boys down there.

The next morning TT asks if she can talk to me. Sure. We go in the conference room and this person that I've only seen as strong as steel, breaks down in tears. "You asked (hot pants) to go instead of me because I'm not as good looking right?!! (crying hysterically)"

I've sort of blacked out what happened next but she did marry her second husband soon after. He liked to dress up like a clown. Turns out he was a pedophile. I'm as shocked as anybody.

Ok, so just in the last 24 hours you've regaled us with tales of two ladies:

1) one whose hubby liked to dress up as a civil war re-enactor and simulate in gritty reality the Battle of Man-Asses with his wannabe regiment; and

2) one whose hubby liked to dress up as Bozo and diddle little kids.

Nice women you attract.

I'm like Forrest Gump without all of the famous people.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

This morning I was leaving for a meeting (8am I know right) and the neighbor dog that prompted this sign was pooping in my yard.

I'm in the middle of the street when I notice, so I open my car door to chase him(?) away. The mangy thing tries to jump in my lap as soon as I do. I'm yelling "go home damn it!!" and start chasing it down the street. I had to look like a maniac.

Shit just got personal.

 

[5-ish Finkle]

Meh. He got it on the sidewalk. It's just yard adjacent.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Meh. He got it on the sidewalk. It's just yard adjacent.

That's the neighbors house up the street and a different dog actually. Should have been more clear about that. Two of these cockblowers think it's totally cool to let their dogs out the front door and #### wherever they please.

Considering sending a message.

 

[5-ish Finkle]

A neighbor of mine has a similar gimmick to that yellow sign, but it's just a little plastic squatting dog that has the word "NO!!" imprinted on the side. I keep hoping I can coax my pup to use it as bombardier practice, but no luck yet.

(Full disclosure: I never leave the house without a bag for his, uh, product. It'd still be funny to be able to catch him dropping a deuce in front of that signage and text it to the homeowner after I picked it up.)

 

[5-ish Finkle]

Meh. He got it on the sidewalk. It's just yard adjacent.

That's the neighbors house up the street and a different dog actually. Should have been more clear about that. Two of these cockblowers think it's totally cool to let their dogs out the front door and #### wherever they please.

Considering sending a message.

Me, Myself and Irene it and post pics on their front door. "This is what you get when you s@#$ on a neighbor's lawn, Larry!!"

Yeah, all kidding aside it drives me nuts. Our development probably has 120-130 homes, and of that maybe 30 own dogs. For a pretty good while there were a LOT if ignorant a$$ clowns who thought just leaving it wherever Fido decided to drop it was cool(including in the street, on the ramp to the dumpster, at the mailboxes, etc).

My wife got herself on the HOA board primarily to attempt to put a stop to it.

 

[T Bell]

Meh. He got it on the sidewalk. It's just yard adjacent.

That's the neighbors house up the street and a different dog actually. Should have been more clear about that. Two of these cockblowers think it's totally cool to let their dogs out the front door and #### wherever they please.

Considering sending a message.

Pick up the poop and deposit it on their porch with a note saying "Your dog left this in my yard. YIC, Bob".

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Meh. He got it on the sidewalk. It's just yard adjacent.

That's the neighbors house up the street and a different dog actually. Should have been more clear about that. Two of these cockblowers think it's totally cool to let their dogs out the front door and #### wherever they please.

Considering sending a message.

Me, Myself and Irene it and post pics on their front door. "This is what you get when you s@#$ on a neighbor's lawn, Larry!!"

Yeah, all kidding aside it drives me nuts. Our development probably has 120-130 homes, and of that maybe 30 own dogs. For a pretty good while there were a LOT if ignorant ### clowns who thought just leaving it wherever Fido decided to drop it was cool(including in the street, on the ramp to the dumpster, at the mailboxes, etc).

My wife got herself on the HOA board primarily to attempt to put a stop to it.

Meh. He got it on the sidewalk. It's just yard adjacent.

That's the neighbors house up the street and a different dog actually. Should have been more clear about that. Two of these cockblowers think it's totally cool to let their dogs out the front door and #### wherever they please.

Considering sending a message.

Pick up the poop and deposit it on their porch with a note saying "Your dog left this in my yard. YIC, Bob".

This is what I'm thinking. Except I'll put all of my dog's poop on his porch with a note "please pick this up for me".

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Then I light his house on fire.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Meh. He got it on the sidewalk. It's just yard adjacent.

That's the neighbors house up the street and a different dog actually. Should have been more clear about that. Two of these cockblowers think it's totally cool to let their dogs out the front door and #### wherever they please.

Considering sending a message.

Me, Myself and Irene it and post pics on their front door. "This is what you get when you s@#$ on a neighbor's lawn, Larry!!"

Yeah, all kidding aside it drives me nuts. Our development probably has 120-130 homes, and of that maybe 30 own dogs. For a pretty good while there were a LOT if ignorant ### clowns who thought just leaving it wherever Fido decided to drop it was cool(including in the street, on the ramp to the dumpster, at the mailboxes, etc).

My wife got herself on the HOA board primarily to attempt to put a stop to it.

I prefer to not get the authorities into this kind of thing.

 

[5-ish Finkle]

It'll be super freaking sweet when they try to stomp on their house to put it out and get all that poo on their foot.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

It'll be super freaking sweet when they try to stomp on their house to put it out and get all that poo on their foot.

I know right?

 

[Henry Ford]

Forgot to reply to Ford, re: beard

I shave my head everyday so I keep it knocked down and consistent. I use my sunglasses to check length just to make sure.

Holy ####, that's genius. I'm going to start doing that.

 

[5-ish Finkle]

I prefer to not get the authorities into this kind of thing.

Authorities? What kind of HOA do you have in your neck of the woods? Ours doesn't exactly ride around on horseback "regulating."

 

[Henry Ford]

I prefer to not get the authorities into this kind of thing.

Authorities? What kind of HOA do you have in your neck of the woods? Ours doesn't exactly ride around on horseback "regulating."

In Louisiana, the HOA is just whoever has a gas can and enough wood to build a cross.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

I prefer to not get the authorities into this kind of thing.

Authorities? What kind of HOA do you have in your neck of the woods? Ours doesn't exactly ride around on horseback "regulating."

In Louisiana, the HOA is just whoever has a gas can and enough wood to build a cross.

In my previous two houses WE were the HOA. Sort of a mob thing if you will. I was a little apprehensive moving to a place with an actual HOA but it's pretty apparent they don't give a ####. Which is cool with me.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Just got the standings for the bball bet

Dickfaces 38

Stanford & Tennessee

Team SLB 33 34

UCONN, Florida, Wisconsin, Louisville

I've Never Felt A ###### 31

UCONN, Baylor

Badgers!

 

[St. Louis Bob]

vagina is still censored

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Forgot to reply to Ford, re: beard

I shave my head everyday so I keep it knocked down and consistent. I use my sunglasses to check length just to make sure.

Holy ####, that's genius. I'm going to start doing that.

I have a good idea every once in awhile.

 

[Abraham]

vagina is still censored

:mellowdick:

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

You guys couldn't see the Oildale pic or just read the article?

PIC

 

[strykerpks]

Just got the standings for the bball bet

Dickfaces 38

Stanford & Tennessee

Team SLB 33 34

UCONN, Florida, Wisconsin, Louisville

I've Never Felt A ###### 31

UCONN, Baylor

Badgers!

 

[St. Louis Bob]

You guys couldn't see the Oildale pic or just read the article?

PIC

I think that cat was imoewved

 

[BobbyLayne]

Meh. He got it on the sidewalk. It's just yard adjacent.

That's the neighbors house up the street and a different dog actually. Should have been more clear about that. Two of these cockblowers think it's totally cool to let their dogs out the front door and #### wherever they please.

Considering sending a message.

That's nothing. I'm waiting for an elevator first thing this morning and realize that there is a stream on either side of me. Turn around and see a huge puddle of piss on the floor. Presumably from a dog. WTFETA: who am I kidding. This ain't Staten Island. I figure out some passive aggressive response later. F'n neighors.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Meh. He got it on the sidewalk. It's just yard adjacent.

That's the neighbors house up the street and a different dog actually. Should have been more clear about that. Two of these cockblowers think it's totally cool to let their dogs out the front door and #### wherever they please.

Considering sending a message.

That's nothing. I'm waiting for an elevator first thing this morning and realize that their is a stream on either side of me. Turn around and see a huge puddle of piss on the floor. Presumably from a dog. WTF

I'm considering putting an elevator in my house.

 

[BobbyLayne]

Meh. He got it on the sidewalk. It's just yard adjacent.

That's the neighbors house up the street and a different dog actually. Should have been more clear about that. Two of these cockblowers think it's totally cool to let their dogs out the front door and #### wherever they please.

Considering sending a message.

That's nothing. I'm waiting for an elevator first thing this morning and realize that their is a stream on either side of me. Turn around and see a huge puddle of piss on the floor. Presumably from a dog. WTF

I'm considering putting an elevator in my house.

Pretty sad that I live on the 3rd floor and it never ever occurs to me the stairs are right next to the elevator bank.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Meh. He got it on the sidewalk. It's just yard adjacent.

That's the neighbors house up the street and a different dog actually. Should have been more clear about that. Two of these cockblowers think it's totally cool to let their dogs out the front door and #### wherever they please.

Considering sending a message.

That's nothing. I'm waiting for an elevator first thing this morning and realize that their is a stream on either side of me. Turn around and see a huge puddle of piss on the floor. Presumably from a dog. WTF

I'm considering putting an elevator in my house.

Pretty sad that I live on the 3rd floor and it never ever occurs to me the stairs are right next to the elevator bank.

You should have walked up a floor and taken' the copter.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

You guys couldn't see the Oildale pic or just read the article?

PIC

I think that cat was imoewved

wtf

 

[Abraham]

Kids have been gone a week. Wife has been gone since Saturday. They got home today at 5. Rather then resting and being responsively and reasonable, I channelled my inner Homer and worked from home the first three days of the week, watched three seasons of dexter, and generally got nothing done. I did, however, spend two hours before my shower this morning cleaning the house from top to bottom and getting the evidence* out of the house in time for the trash men.

*two twelve packs of keystone, 18 pack of coors light, 30 pack of frio light, plus four beers "leftover" from Friday. So, 76 beers in five nights.

 

[Henry Ford]

I prefer to not get the authorities into this kind of thing.

Authorities? What kind of HOA do you have in your neck of the woods? Ours doesn't exactly ride around on horseback "regulating."

In Louisiana, the HOA is just whoever has a gas can and enough wood to build a cross.

In my previous two houses WE were the HOA. Sort of a mob thing if you will. I was a little apprehensive moving to a place with an actual HOA but it's pretty apparent they don't give a ####. Which is cool with me.

Really, unless you live in New Orleans on the streetcar line or in a gated community somewhere, HOAs are virtually nonexistent in this state. I like it. Covenants on real estate are serious business here, so people tend to shy away from them.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Kids have been gone a week. Wife has been gone since Saturday. They got home today at 5. Rather then resting and being responsively and reasonable, I channelled my inner Homer and worked from home the first three days of the week, watched three seasons of dexter, and generally got nothing done. I did, however, spend two hours before my shower this morning cleaning the house from top to bottom and getting the evidence* out of the house in time for the trash men.

*two twelve packs of keystone, 18 pack of coors light, 30 pack of frio light, plus four beers "leftover" from Friday. So, 76 beers in five nights.

lightweight

 

[Abraham]

Any more and I would have had trouble keeping up with the plot of dexter.

 

[shuke]

TaxAct or Turbo Tax or Other?

Used TaxAct last year but notice a new DAS Fee that is mandatory to pay before continuing. Good chance I'm doing this wrong, though.

Anybody? Please?

God i sound whiney. Ignore me. I'm going to use TaxAct I guess. I used them last year.

Been using turbotax for past 3 years. Never used TaxAct so I have no comparison to make.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

I prefer to not get the authorities into this kind of thing.

Authorities? What kind of HOA do you have in your neck of the woods? Ours doesn't exactly ride around on horseback "regulating."

In Louisiana, the HOA is just whoever has a gas can and enough wood to build a cross.

In my previous two houses WE were the HOA. Sort of a mob thing if you will. I was a little apprehensive moving to a place with an actual HOA but it's pretty apparent they don't give a ####. Which is cool with me.

Really, unless you live in New Orleans on the streetcar line or in a gated community somewhere, HOAs are virtually nonexistent in this state. I like it. Covenants on real estate are serious business here, so people tend to shy away from them.

I've heard of nightmare stories around here. Thankfully I'm not in one of those place. Hell, I built a path into the common ground. Not a word.

 

[strykerpks]

 

[shuke]

When you get great letters in Scrabble it....

(_)

( _)>⌐■-■

...usually spells "doom" for your opponent.

(⌐■_■)

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Why are you guys using a version of Caruso with no eyeballs?

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

When you get great letters in Scrabble it....

(_)

( _)>⌐■-■

...usually spells "doom" for your opponent.

(⌐■_■)

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Why are you guys using a version of Caruso with no eyeballs?

Not sure. I just copy and pasted it...

I guess you could say...

[SIZE=11.818181991577148px](._.)[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11.818181991577148px](. _.)>⌐■-■[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11.818181991577148px]I had no eye-dea[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11.818181991577148px](⌐■_■)[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11.818181991577148px]YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH![/SIZE]

 

[shuke]

I used the Caruso ascii shtick in an email to two co-workers today. I got one response, "are you going to the beach"?

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Cartoon

 

[Ignoramus]

They're there when I paste and I can see them when I compose but once I submit *POOF* gonzo.

 

[belljr]

Of all the stupid dumb schtick you guys do that I hate, don't find funny or I "don't get"....

fully support Caruso schtick...

and the shelby stuff... and i don't even know who or what shelby is...