GM's thread about nothing (42 Viewers)

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Update: I was discussing this with the aide that helps me out with the special kids. Another student told her that the kid showed him the vibe and said that it was his mom's.

:X

I'm not sure if this more or less embarrassing than when Mrs. SLB forgot a vibe at the cabin when I got my vag head and my Dad returned it to me.

Wait, I thought vag head was just an expression.

OH COME ON!!

Update: I was discussing this with the aide that helps me out with the special kids. Another student told her that the kid showed him the vibe and said that it was his mom's.

:X

So, they have to make the phone call to return it to its rightful owner now that they know, right?

No idea. All I know is that this is just another reason why I never went into administration. I couldn't imagine making this phone call.

"Hi, Mrs. Johnson? *giggle* Yes, um, today your son brought in an item that he told us he found on the school grounds, but apparently he told another student it belonged to you. Are you, um, missing anything? No? Nothing of a... personal nature? Not that you're aware of, huh? What is it? Well, it's, um - how to put this delicately—a battery... powered... adult... recreational... fake penis."

I think you need to do it in the form of a riddle.

So, Mrs. Johnson, what's made out of purple jelly and buzzes all over? No Mrs. Johnson, it isn't Monsanto's latest bee experiment...

"What's something made of plastic that smells like tuna that your son brings to school? Hint: It's not his lunch box..."

 

[Drifter]

Sitting at a car dealership potentially trading in Bunk for a new Bunk.

Business idea: people you can pay to go negotiate car purchases for you.

I wouldn't walk into a dealership without having that sealed up via email

I basically refuse to go to the dealership until we have it settled through email.

I was planning to buy a different car before I got here. Now that I'm in godforsaken Renton, I'm not driving around more of godforsaken Seattle metro to another godforsaken dealership.

Just remember that you'll get the best offer when they believe you are about to walk out the door. Give them the "I need to shop around line and I'll be in touch" and they'll get more aggressive. Keep saying you need to think about it and they'll give you the "what do we need to do to sell you this today line?" at which point you throw your lowball offer out there.

Also know that you would have gotten a better deal yesterday than you're going to get today.

 

[Good Posting Judge]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2CLjBJZo2Nw

 

[Homer J Simpson]

Dildo!

 

[krista4]

Sitting at a car dealership potentially trading in Bunk for a new Bunk.

Business idea: people you can pay to go negotiate car purchases for you.

I wouldn't walk into a dealership without having that sealed up via email

I basically refuse to go to the dealership until we have it settled through email.

I was planning to buy a different car before I got here. Now that I'm in godforsaken Renton, I'm not driving around more of godforsaken Seattle metro to another godforsaken dealership.

Just remember that you'll get the best offer when they believe you are about to walk out the door. Give them the "I need to shop around line and I'll be in touch" and they'll get more aggressive. Keep saying you need to think about it and they'll give you the "what do we need to do to sell you this today line?" at which point you throw your lowball offer out there.

Also know that you would have gotten a better deal yesterday than you're going to get today.

Appreciate it GB. I do know all the tricks. And I actually NEVER throw out any offer. In the past three times I've bought, I've never given a number and, though it is VERY hard to do, I just let them negotiate against themselves until they get down to where I want.

Today on their fourth attempt they got down to within $100 of what I was willing to pay, but I made them ratchet down two more times anyway just for good measure.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

Dildo!

What?!?!?

 

[Homer J Simpson]

Dildo!

What?!?!?

 

[BobbyLayne]

I. Hate. Frozen. My mom bought it for my girls. We've had it at the house for 4 days. It's been watched 6 times.

Jesus, man, let it go.

Go #### your mom in the ###.

All good things, all good things

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Rules

 

[St. Louis Bob]

I. Hate. Frozen. My mom bought it for my girls. We've had it at the house for 4 days. It's been watched 6 times.

Jesus, man, let it go.

Go #### your mom in the ###.

All good things, all good things

Maybe you want to smell me since I came out of your favorite place in the world.

 

[mr roboto]

I put Frozen on again

I have a sales call in 2 minutes, just fed the girls, wife is out at the salon.

I'm contributing to the problem.

 

[Good Posting Judge]

I put Frozen on again

I have a sales call in 2 minutes, just fed the girls, wife is out at the salon.

I'm contributing to the problem.

Hang in there, Joan.

 

[mr. furley]

weird what floats around here and what gets savaged

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

weird what floats around here and what gets savaged

How so?

 

[YSR]

Anyone familiar with the Kansas City area? Mr. YSR is getting deployed again Thursday (30-60 days) to Lees Summit, MO - it looks to be right outside Kansas City. It's probably a 12 hour drive for me and the bebe - rendering it next to ridiculous to make the trip - so this next 1-2 months is going to be rough. I saw that there is a handful of casinos in the area, but I'm wondering if there's anything else that he should look forward to?

Also, anyone want to come to Knoxville and help me be a single mom who is still trying to work enough hours to keep her job/benefits? .

 

[Homer J Simpson]

Anyone familiar with the Kansas City area? Mr. YSR is getting deployed again Thursday (30-60 days) to Lees Summit, MO - it looks to be right outside Kansas City. It's probably a 12 hour drive for me and the bebe - rendering it next to ridiculous to make the trip - so this next 1-2 months is going to be rough. I saw that there is a handful of casinos in the area, but I'm wondering if there's anything else that he should look forward to?

Also, anyone want to come to Knoxville and help me be a single mom who is still trying to work enough hours to keep her job/benefits? .

So...you need some company, huh?

 

[T Bell]

I just found that my FB feed had two consecutive status updates with the word "stoked" in them.

Bingo?

 

[T Bell]

Update: I was discussing this with the aide that helps me out with the special kids. Another student told her that the kid showed him the vibe and said that it was his mom's.

:X

So are you sending the note home? Make sure to offer a return of the item - all she needs to do is appear in the office and sign for it.

 

[T Bell]

Sitting at a car dealership potentially trading in Bunk for a new Bunk.

Business idea: people you can pay to go negotiate car purchases for you.

They're called car brokers and I've used them. They can actually save you money, though not as much as if you know how to research, shop and haggle well.

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

I think our favorite corporate attorney knows how to negotiate.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

I think our favorite corporate attorney knows how to negotiate.

Otis? I'm sure he does.

 

[T Bell]

Dildo!

Yandek!

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Anyone familiar with the Kansas City area? Mr. YSR is getting deployed again Thursday (30-60 days) to Lees Summit, MO - it looks to be right outside Kansas City. It's probably a 12 hour drive for me and the bebe - rendering it next to ridiculous to make the trip - so this next 1-2 months is going to be rough. I saw that there is a handful of casinos in the area, but I'm wondering if there's anything else that he should look forward to?

Also, anyone want to come to Knoxville and help me be a single mom who is still trying to work enough hours to keep her job/benefits? .

That's where several of my GB's live. We've been there many times and plan on for the 4th of July again this year. Their house is where everyone congragates and I know without a doubt Romo would be welcomed with open arms. A lot of their friends are your age so he would be comfortable. Plus they like to play poker and other games. Shoot me a PM or text.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Call, whatever

 

[krista4]

I think our favorite corporate attorney knows how to negotiate.

Otis? I'm sure he does.

Otis is a patent litigator.

Thanks for the vote of confidence, Rude.

 

[T Bell]

I think our favorite corporate attorney knows how to negotiate.

Not everyone likes to haggle all the time. I've found that in my private life I'll sometimes just not want to deal with stuff that I'd most certainly fight over for a client.

 

[krista4]

Happy birthday, Bob Sacamano? (Since your FB is shtick I'm not sure if the birthday is right.)

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

I think our favorite corporate attorney knows how to negotiate.

Otis? I'm sure he does.

Otis is a patent litigator.

Thanks for the vote of confidence, Rude.

I kid.

 

[krista4]

I think our favorite corporate attorney knows how to negotiate.

Not everyone likes to haggle all the time. I've found that in my private life I'll sometimes just not want to deal with stuff that I'd most certainly fight over for a client.

Definitely can be true for me, too.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

I think our favorite corporate attorney knows how to negotiate.

Not everyone likes to haggle all the time. I've found that in my private life I'll sometimes just not want to deal with stuff that I'd most certainly fight over for a client.

I have a rock that keeps tigers away. For $5000 it can be yours.

 

[T Bell]

I think our favorite corporate attorney knows how to negotiate.

Not everyone likes to haggle all the time. I've found that in my private life I'll sometimes just not want to deal with stuff that I'd most certainly fight over for a client.

I have a rock that keeps tigers away. For $5000 it can be yours.

*blowsout* Do you accept checks?

 

[Captain Quinoa]

Dildo!

Polo!

 

[Homer J Simpson]

I think our favorite corporate attorney knows how to negotiate.

Not everyone likes to haggle all the time. I've found that in my private life I'll sometimes just not want to deal with stuff that I'd most certainly fight over for a client.

I have a rock that keeps tigers away. For $5000 it can be yours.

*blowsout* Do you accept checks?

NO! Cash only!

 

[T Bell]

So my girlfriend of three years texted me frantically today as I was hustling to a lunch meeting with my old law partner, before my 1:30 court appearance and my 3:00 calll with another attorney about a new case I'm going to collaborate on. She tells me "I need to tell you something".

I call her back and she sounded completely upset, not wanting to tell me and making like she'd call later. I just said, "Clearly something's wrong, so you may as well just say it."

She said, "I'm pregnant. I haven't had my period in a while and I was concerned about how I was feeling and took a home pregnancy test and it turned positive immediately. I've never had it turn positive that fast unless I've been pregnant [she has two kids]."

At this point she's starting to ramble about taking the test again, hinting that maybe an abortion is for the best, etc.

I'm just trying to get my head around this (after all, she had her tubes ties before she met me and believe me, we've tested that #### out) and also trying to settle her down. I said something about waiting overnight to retake the test, which for some reason she starts laying into me for... before the "April Fools!" payoff.



Forgot what day it was, #######it!

But still,

 

[Mr.Pack]

It's looking like I'm going to be putting down my 11-year old German Shep today. She's had back leg problems for years now, and they've steadily grown more weak and painful. We thought we'd have to put her down a month ago but she seemed to improve for a while, but now she's not been eating again.

She lives with my ex (I've got an apartment and no yard) who leaves the back door to the house open at night so she can wander in and out as needed. It rained early this morning and she went to check on her and found her lying in the rain in the back yard where she had been last night. She'd never do that if it wasn't too painful for her to get up.

Molly's been the best dog I've ever had. This ####### sucks. :(

So sorry to hear this TB. One the hardest things I ever had to do.

I realize I'm 30 pages behind, sorry.

 

[Tiger Fan]

I'm not good at puns.

In 8th grade Honors English we had a contest to see who could write witty puns and have them published in the school paper as part of some cheesy "literary is fun" section I submitted 10 puns for a chance that one of them would be chosen. No pun in ten did.

 

[T Bell]

It's looking like I'm going to be putting down my 11-year old German Shep today. She's had back leg problems for years now, and they've steadily grown more weak and painful. We thought we'd have to put her down a month ago but she seemed to improve for a while, but now she's not been eating again.

She lives with my ex (I've got an apartment and no yard) who leaves the back door to the house open at night so she can wander in and out as needed. It rained early this morning and she went to check on her and found her lying in the rain in the back yard where she had been last night. She'd never do that if it wasn't too painful for her to get up.

Molly's been the best dog I've ever had. This ####### sucks. :(

So sorry to hear this TB. One the hardest things I ever had to do.

I realize I'm 30 pages behind, sorry.

Thanks for the thoughts. It was absolutely the right thing to do - when I went up to my ex's house to see her, she looked like ####. Worse than she did even a few weeks ago. Her face was haggard looking. I didn't mention this in the original post when we had her checked out a month ago the x-ray suggested that she had a mass in her abdomen. We tried Gas-X and antibiotics which helped her for the first week or two, but she declined rapidly of late. I suspect this was the cause of her distress more than the back legs.

She went easy, and for the first time ever she wasn't acting nervous at the vet's. It's like she knew and she was ready.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

So my girlfriend of three years texted me frantically today as I was hustling to a lunch meeting with my old law partner, before my 1:30 court appearance and my 3:00 calll with another attorney about a new case I'm going to collaborate on. She tells me "I need to tell you something".

I call her back and she sounded completely upset, not wanting to tell me and making like she'd call later. I just said, "Clearly something's wrong, so you may as well just say it."

She said, "I'm pregnant. I haven't had my period in a while and I was concerned about how I was feeling and took a home pregnancy test and it turned positive immediately. I've never had it turn positive that fast unless I've been pregnant [she has two kids]."

At this point she's starting to ramble about taking the test again, hinting that maybe an abortion is for the best, etc.

I'm just trying to get my head around this (after all, she had her tubes ties before she met me and believe me, we've tested that #### out) and also trying to settle her down. I said something about waiting overnight to retake the test, which for some reason she starts laying into me for... before the "April Fools!" payoff.



Forgot what day it was, #######it!

But still,

A vicious neckpunching is in order here.

 

[Tecumseh]

So my girlfriend of three years texted me frantically today as I was hustling to a lunch meeting with my old law partner, before my 1:30 court appearance and my 3:00 calll with another attorney about a new case I'm going to collaborate on. She tells me "I need to tell you something".

I call her back and she sounded completely upset, not wanting to tell me and making like she'd call later. I just said, "Clearly something's wrong, so you may as well just say it."

She said, "I'm pregnant. I haven't had my period in a while and I was concerned about how I was feeling and took a home pregnancy test and it turned positive immediately. I've never had it turn positive that fast unless I've been pregnant [she has two kids]."

At this point she's starting to ramble about taking the test again, hinting that maybe an abortion is for the best, etc.

I'm just trying to get my head around this (after all, she had her tubes ties before she met me and believe me, we've tested that #### out) and also trying to settle her down. I said something about waiting overnight to retake the test, which for some reason she starts laying into me for... before the "April Fools!" payoff.



Forgot what day it was, #######it!

But still,

Give her surprise buttsex and just tell her you wanted to make sure she didn't get pregnant.

 

[Abraham]

April fools is stupid.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

So my girlfriend of three years texted me frantically today as I was hustling to a lunch meeting with my old law partner, before my 1:30 court appearance and my 3:00 calll with another attorney about a new case I'm going to collaborate on. She tells me "I need to tell you something".

I call her back and she sounded completely upset, not wanting to tell me and making like she'd call later. I just said, "Clearly something's wrong, so you may as well just say it."

She said, "I'm pregnant. I haven't had my period in a while and I was concerned about how I was feeling and took a home pregnancy test and it turned positive immediately. I've never had it turn positive that fast unless I've been pregnant [she has two kids]."

At this point she's starting to ramble about taking the test again, hinting that maybe an abortion is for the best, etc.

I'm just trying to get my head around this (after all, she had her tubes ties before she met me and believe me, we've tested that #### out) and also trying to settle her down. I said something about waiting overnight to retake the test, which for some reason she starts laying into me for... before the "April Fools!" payoff.



Forgot what day it was, #######it!

But still,

Good call. I think he should do both.

 

[BobbyLayne]

I think our favorite corporate attorney knows how to negotiate.

Not everyone likes to haggle all the time. I've found that in my private life I'll sometimes just not want to deal with stuff that I'd most certainly fight over for a client.

Definitely can be true for me, too.

It's an odd mentality. I fight like hell to dispute an invoice or negotiate a favorable agreement at work. But outside of work it's everything zen, under/over, it balances out & we're breaking even overall. Even when I'm certain there's been a slight miscalculation I'm thinking "close enough, you take AMEX?" If I pay you we're done ok bye.

I meet New Yorkers all the time who just have a mentality that no one is ever gonna get one over on them, no matter how insignificant the stakes. I can't stand burning calories over petty ####.

 

[ScottNorwood]

I think our favorite corporate attorney knows how to negotiate.

Not everyone likes to haggle all the time. I've found that in my private life I'll sometimes just not want to deal with stuff that I'd most certainly fight over for a client.

Definitely can be true for me, too.

It's an odd mentality. I fight like hell to dispute an invoice or negotiate a favorable agreement at work. But outside of work it's everything zen, under/over, it balances out & we're breaking even overall. Even when I'm certain there's been a slight miscalculation I'm thinking "close enough, you take AMEX?" If I pay you we're done ok bye.

I meet New Yorkers all the time who just have a mentality that no one is ever gonna get one over on them, no matter how insignificant the stakes. I can't stand burning calories over petty ####.

Is that a dig on me? How dare you, Bobby!

 

[Frostillicus]

So my girlfriend of three years texted me frantically today as I was hustling to a lunch meeting with my old law partner, before my 1:30 court appearance and my 3:00 calll with another attorney about a new case I'm going to collaborate on. She tells me "I need to tell you something".

I call her back and she sounded completely upset, not wanting to tell me and making like she'd call later. I just said, "Clearly something's wrong, so you may as well just say it."

She said, "I'm pregnant. I haven't had my period in a while and I was concerned about how I was feeling and took a home pregnancy test and it turned positive immediately. I've never had it turn positive that fast unless I've been pregnant [she has two kids]."

At this point she's starting to ramble about taking the test again, hinting that maybe an abortion is for the best, etc.

I'm just trying to get my head around this (after all, she had her tubes ties before she met me and believe me, we've tested that #### out) and also trying to settle her down. I said something about waiting overnight to retake the test, which for some reason she starts laying into me for... before the "April Fools!" payoff.



Forgot what day it was, #######it!

But still,

lolowned.

 

[Abraham]

"I need to tell you something too. I ####ed that waitress from the Olive Garden last week..."

 

[BobbyLayne]

I think our favorite corporate attorney knows how to negotiate.

Not everyone likes to haggle all the time. I've found that in my private life I'll sometimes just not want to deal with stuff that I'd most certainly fight over for a client.

Definitely can be true for me, too.

It's an odd mentality. I fight like hell to dispute an invoice or negotiate a favorable agreement at work. But outside of work it's everything zen, under/over, it balances out & we're breaking even overall. Even when I'm certain there's been a slight miscalculation I'm thinking "close enough, you take AMEX?" If I pay you we're done ok bye.

I meet New Yorkers all the time who just have a mentality that no one is ever gonna get one over on them, no matter how insignificant the stakes. I can't stand burning calories over petty ####.

Is that a dig on me? How dare you, Bobby!

Holy hell I didn't even know you were still around. Let's have a beer sometime. OK, between now and Labor Day, no pressure.

 

[-fish-]

So my girlfriend of three years texted me frantically today as I was hustling to a lunch meeting with my old law partner, before my 1:30 court appearance and my 3:00 calll with another attorney about a new case I'm going to collaborate on. She tells me "I need to tell you something".

I call her back and she sounded completely upset, not wanting to tell me and making like she'd call later. I just said, "Clearly something's wrong, so you may as well just say it."

She said, "I'm pregnant. I haven't had my period in a while and I was concerned about how I was feeling and took a home pregnancy test and it turned positive immediately. I've never had it turn positive that fast unless I've been pregnant [she has two kids]."

At this point she's starting to ramble about taking the test again, hinting that maybe an abortion is for the best, etc.

I'm just trying to get my head around this (after all, she had her tubes ties before she met me and believe me, we've tested that #### out) and also trying to settle her down. I said something about waiting overnight to retake the test, which for some reason she starts laying into me for... before the "April Fools!" payoff.



Forgot what day it was, #######it!

But still,

Probably a good time to let her know you have herpes. And the neck punching and buttsex thing. Wait, is this knuckles?

 

[krista4]

I was nowhere near Chile today, by the way.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

I was nowhere near Chile today, by the way.

The ramifications of your move are being felt throughout the western coast of the Americas. You're like a supervillain.

 

[belljr]

Draft Day looks awesome. ...

and by awesome I mean the worst movie ever made