GM's thread about nothing (44 Viewers)

[Officer Pete Malloy]

In High School I was in an Animal Behavior class where we got a pet and then were supposed to observe it at home and stuff and write a report. I got a turtle. Named him Slider. One day I brought him to school and put him in the fountain area to go for a swim. Well it was deeper than I thought and really dirty and then I had to go to class and the janitors even drained the thing and boom, no turtle. So I told the teacher I bought a new one but really I didn't and I made everything up and I got an A. That teacher was later fired because they found one when he was videotaping female students' giving presentations he was zooming in on their boobs. So it's kind of related to turtle rape.

Let's hear the whole story, Scoop.

 

[Dan Gladden's Mustache]

In High School I was in an Animal Behavior class where we got a pet and then were supposed to observe it at home and stuff and write a report. I got a turtle. Named him Slider. One day I brought him to school and put him in the fountain area to go for a swim. Well it was deeper than I thought and really dirty and then I had to go to class and the janitors even drained the thing and boom, no turtle. So I told the teacher I bought a new one but really I didn't and I made everything up and I got an A. That teacher was later fired because they found one when he was videotaping female students' giving presentations he was zooming in on their boobs. So it's kind of related to turtle rape.

Is that frowned upon? Fn puritanical bull####

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Turtle rape is getting funnier, guys.

I had no idea turtles even made noises.

 

[Osaurus]

At risk youth: http://youtu.be/CMNry4PE93Y

 

[Frostillicus]

In High School I was in an Animal Behavior class where we got a pet and then were supposed to observe it at home and stuff and write a report. I got a turtle. Named him Slider. One day I brought him to school and put him in the fountain area to go for a swim. Well it was deeper than I thought and really dirty and then I had to go to class and the janitors even drained the thing and boom, no turtle. So I told the teacher I bought a new one but really I didn't and I made everything up and I got an A. That teacher was later fired because they found one when he was videotaping female students' giving presentations he was zooming in on their boobs. So it's kind of related to turtle rape.

Let's hear the whole story, Scoop.

It was a few years after I graduated, but my mom worked in the district so I tend to believe it, plus he seemed creepy. I guess he was out of the room and somebody hit play on the VCR and it was the students presentations and the ones with the big boob chicks the thing was just zoomed on the cleavage. Which I guess is wrong. I know he for sure got fired and started working at the Metrodome selling peanuts at Twins' games.

His last name was the same as someone who frequently posts IN THIS VERY THREAD.

 

[Good Posting Judge]

Mine?

 

[Frostillicus]

Mine?

No

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Mine?

Mr. Judge?

 

[General Malaise]

Lol @ missing 'coo laid'

 

[General Malaise]

Mr. Sacamano?

 

[YSR]

Malloy?

 

[Frostillicus]

Mr. Sacamano?

Malloy?

No

 

[Thorn]

Mr. Stryker?

Mr. Mr. Pickles?

 

[Bob Sacamano]

Mr. Sacamano?

Everybody knows I'm an ### man.

 

[General Malaise]

Mr. Sacamano?

Malloy?

No

YOUR FACE IS A NO!

oh, hey...bad news. Reeser is moving from Beaverton to Hillsboro. The endless stream of my meat is going to come to an end, I'm afraid. I'll try and get over there one last time for you, man.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

Can I get a link to these meat sticks?

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

It was your dad wasn't it?

 

[Bob Sacamano]

Mr. Mustache. It's in the genes!

 

[Dan Lambskin]

Mr Lambskin

 

[Ignoramus]

In High School I was in an Animal Behavior class where we got a pet and then were supposed to observe it at home and stuff and write a report. I got a turtle. Named him Slider. One day I brought him to school and put him in the fountain area to go for a swim. Well it was deeper than I thought and really dirty and then I had to go to class and the janitors even drained the thing and boom, no turtle. So I told the teacher I bought a new one but really I didn't and I made everything up and I got an A. That teacher was later fired because they found one when he was videotaping female students' giving presentations he was zooming in on their boobs. So it's kind of related to turtle rape.

Let's hear the whole story, Scoop.

It was a few years after I graduated, but my mom worked in the district so I tend to believe it, plus he seemed creepy. I guess he was out of the room and somebody hit play on the VCR and it was the students presentations and the ones with the big boob chicks the thing was just zoomed on the cleavage. Which I guess is wrong. I know he for sure got fired and started working at the Metrodome selling peanuts at Twins' games.

His last name was the same as someone who frequently posts IN THIS VERY THREAD.

THAT would be freaky.

 

[YSR]

Guys, I think we all know it's Rudnicki.

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

Guys, I think we all know it's Rudnicki.

Very common name

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Guys, I think we all know it's Rudnicki.

Very common name

I'm Facebook friends with a guy named Rudnicki. Actually true.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Hey, my dad was a teacher...

 

[ScottNorwood]

Hey, my dad was a teacher...

What a perv

 

[Frostillicus]

Mr. Sacamano?

Malloy?

No

YOUR FACE IS A NO!

oh, hey...bad news. Reeser is moving from Beaverton to Hillsboro. The endless stream of my meat is going to come to an end, I'm afraid. I'll try and get over there one last time for you, man.

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

 

[Frostillicus]

Mr. Sacamano?

Malloy?

No

YOUR FACE IS A NO!

oh, hey...bad news. Reeser is moving from Beaverton to Hillsboro. The endless stream of my meat is going to come to an end, I'm afraid. I'll try and get over there one last time for you, man.

Buy them all. Everything they have. I'll pay double.

 

[Frostillicus]

Hey, my dad was a teacher...

No shtick. It was your last name. Actually actually true.

 

[Dan Gladden's Mustache]

The plot thickens.

Not Tre-thick or anything, but still pretty thick.

 

[General Malaise]

Text me Sat morn Frost. I'll get out there.

Also, Hillsboro is just west of Beaverton by a few miles. I can still get out there on one tank of gas.

 

[bentley]

GM > Congrats on being the new somethingoranother at somecompany. Make your money sweat.

 

[Frostillicus]

Text me Sat morn Frost. I'll get out there.

Also, Hillsboro is just west of Beaverton by a few miles. I can still get out there on one tank of gas.

Just text you Saturday morning or should I text you ever hour on the hour?

 

[kevzilla]

Text me Sat morn Frost. I'll get out there.

Also, Hillsboro is just west of Beaverton by a few miles. I can still get out there on one tank of gas.

But can you get to the coast?

 

[General Malaise]

Urbanhack, help me understand what this means: Big Data - (feat.joywave)

Is this techno jargon?

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Hey, my dad was a teacher...

No shtick. It was your last name. Actually actually true.

Lol awesome.Most of my family is still in International Falls. But we have to be somewhat related, right?

 

[Mr. Pickles]

GM > Congrats on being the new somethingoranother at somecompany. Make your money sweat.

VP of hand jobs.

 

[Dan Lambskin]

Some lady waiting to board the plane has a dog for her carryon tgat keeps barking at small children

 

[General Malaise]

GM > Congrats on being the new somethingoranother at somecompany. Make your money sweat.

So dumb. I attached a letter to my profile, was warned that the SEC frowned on that, panicked, tried to delete it from my phone, did, but also deleted my current job description. So I just reposted it today and now everybody thinks I have a new job. I'm an idiot. I've worked at Portal since '08.

 

[bentley]

GM > Congrats on being the new somethingoranother at somecompany. Make your money sweat.

VP of hand jobs.

Wait...giving or receiving?

Asking for "a friend" who expects to have the same job title as GM in the next nine months.

 

[Frostillicus]

Hey, my dad was a teacher...

No shtick. It was your last name. Actually actually true.

Lol awesome.Most of my family is still in International Falls. But we have to be somewhat related, right?

I've suspected something since we met.

 

[General Malaise]

Text me Sat morn Frost. I'll get out there.

Also, Hillsboro is just west of Beaverton by a few miles. I can still get out there on one tank of gas.

But can you get to the coast?

you do pass through Hillsboro to some parts of the coast.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Hey, my dad was a teacher...

No shtick. It was your last name. Actually actually true.

Lol awesome.Most of my family is still in International Falls. But we have to be somewhat related, right?

I've suspected something since we met.

That I'm homerish?

 

[Frostillicus]

Hey, my dad was a teacher...

No shtick. It was your last name. Actually actually true.

Lol awesome.Most of my family is still in International Falls. But we have to be somewhat related, right?

I've suspected something since we met.

That I'm homerish?

That you might be related to the slightly rapey guy who didn't realize I didn't have a turtle.

 

[bentley]

Reading through the code of ethics in the packet for my first meeting as a Board member of a bigtime charity tomorrow, apparently I'm only prevented from marrying or adopting the charity's staff or vendors. Every other relationship seems to be fine.

 

[Dan Gladden's Mustache]

Hey, my dad was a teacher...

No shtick. It was your last name. Actually actually true.

Lol awesome.Most of my family is still in International Falls. But we have to be somewhat related, right?

I've suspected something since we met.

That I'm homerish?

That you might be related to the slightly rapey guy who didn't realize I didn't have a turtle.

Tre and I are related?

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Hey, my dad was a teacher...

No shtick. It was your last name. Actually actually true.

Lol awesome.Most of my family is still in International Falls. But we have to be somewhat related, right?

I've suspected something since we met.

That I'm homerish?

That you might be related to the slightly rapey guy who didn't realize I didn't have a turtle.

Tre and I are related?

Told you I was Italian.

 

[kevzilla]

Reading through the code of ethics in the packet for my first meeting as a Board member of a bigtime charity tomorrow, apparently I'm only prevented from marrying or adopting the charity's staff or vendors. Every other relationship seems to be fine.

Sounds like a green light to rail PR girl from hell to breakfast.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Urbanhack, help me understand what this means: Big Data - (feat.joywave)

Is this techno jargon?

Big Data is the band (I guess more of a project?) . I'm assuming you're talking about that song you posted earlier "Dangerous".

(feat.joywave) means the band Joywave is featured on the track.

 

[Dan Gladden's Mustache]

Hey, my dad was a teacher...

No shtick. It was your last name. Actually actually true.

Lol awesome.Most of my family is still in International Falls. But we have to be somewhat related, right?

I've suspected something since we met.

That I'm homerish?

That you might be related to the slightly rapey guy who didn't realize I didn't have a turtle.

Tre and I are related?

Told you I was Italian.

This changes everything.

 

[Dan Lambskin]

Almost got stuck in Atlanta due to AirTran double booking my seat

Neat airline