GM's thread about nothing (18 Viewers)

[shuke]

And where do you go? What do you do?

OMG

 

[Tecumseh]

Oh holy hell, I almost sent that link to my mom.

what, mom wouldn't appreciate a little clitoral stimulation?

A few years ago, my MIL came down for a visit. Backstory- this woman has been through ALOT. I have no idea how old she is, but she is about 5 feet tall, and closely resembles a q-tip. At one point in her life she was homeless for a few years, and the subsequent years have not been kind.So the wife, MIL, and I are discussing what to do on a particular evening.Wife: Do you guys want to go to a movie, or just rent one and stay in.Me: MIL: Let's just stay in.Wife: Well, what kind of movies do you like? Comedy, drama, ...?Me: MIL: Oh, I don't care honey, just pick something.Wife: Well, I need some help so I can get something we all agree on.Me: MIL: We could rent a porno!Me: Wife: Mom!!MIL: I'm not made of stone, ya know!

 

[St. Louis Bob]

So did she taste like oatmeal?

 

[Buck Bradcanon]

My browser history is a bit varied today.

 

[Tecumseh]

So did she taste like oatmeal?

Dusty, ancient, oatmeal. On the plus side, dentures do come out.

 

[General Malaise]

good god...it was a great great run, ya'll!

 

[Good Posting Judge]

Oh holy hell, I almost sent that link to my mom.

what, mom wouldn't appreciate a little clitoral stimulation?

Seriously. How do you think you got here? It wasn't a joyless coupling, I'll tell you that much.

 

[Dr. Awesome]

We may be missing a few these next couple of weeks.

 

[Good Posting Judge]

I'm gonna save some dough and just use a ChipClip instead.

 

[Sconch]

I'm gonna save some dough and just use a ChipClip instead.

My plan

 

[Early_10]

Oh holy hell, I almost sent that link to my mom.

what, mom wouldn't appreciate a little clitoral stimulation?

My mom constantly advises me on the latest and greatest...she owns awkward.

 

[Early_10]

I bought a vibrating c### ring this weekend. I think my wife fell in love with me again. Or it.Probably it. But I would highly recommend this.

We "discovered" these a few years back, have now graduated to this thing called a WeVibe. Makes the ring look like a POS in comparison and the wife freaking loves it. If she liked the ring I would highly recommend this, it's rather odd looking but very much worth it.

I just looked that up. Where does it go?

Well the smaller side goes in, the bigger one stays out. I was highly skeptical, but after giving it the old college try I became a believer.

And where do you go? What do you do? Butt?

The usual spot.You're not that big.

 

[Early_10]

I bought a vibrating c### ring this weekend. I think my wife fell in love with me again. Or it.Probably it. But I would highly recommend this.

We "discovered" these a few years back, have now graduated to this thing called a WeVibe. Makes the ring look like a POS in comparison and the wife freaking loves it. If she liked the ring I would highly recommend this, it's rather odd looking but very much worth it.

I just looked that up. Where does it go?

Well the smaller side goes in, the bigger one stays out. I was highly skeptical, but after giving it the old college try I became a believer.

And where do you go? What do you do? Butt?

You and said device share the love tunnel at the same time. My wife isn't a water buffalo so I'm not sure how this is possible. No offense, Hawks64.

Whoa...hold on. If I start sharing the love tunnel, it might close to me for good. No way I can risk her finding out how much better it is without me.

Well without you sharing the space, it doesn't get jammed up into her alphabetical spot.

Hold on....all the women I've ever slept with told me that was just a mythical splace, while stroking my hair and wiping away my tears. Who am I supposed to believe?

My wife has a Y-spot. As in "Why do you keep touching me there?"

 

[El Floppo]

I bought a vibrating c### ring this weekend. I think my wife fell in love with me again. Or it.Probably it. But I would highly recommend this.

We "discovered" these a few years back, have now graduated to this thing called a WeVibe. Makes the ring look like a POS in comparison and the wife freaking loves it. If she liked the ring I would highly recommend this, it's rather odd looking but very much worth it.

I just looked that up. Where does it go?

Well the smaller side goes in, the bigger one stays out. I was highly skeptical, but after giving it the old college try I became a believer.

And where do you go? What do you do? Butt?

The usual spot.You're not that big.

Wait a sec... ... are you married to Misfit or GM?

 

[St. Louis Bob]

I bought a vibrating c### ring this weekend. I think my wife fell in love with me again. Or it.Probably it. But I would highly recommend this.

We "discovered" these a few years back, have now graduated to this thing called a WeVibe. Makes the ring look like a POS in comparison and the wife freaking loves it. If she liked the ring I would highly recommend this, it's rather odd looking but very much worth it.

I just looked that up. Where does it go?

Well the smaller side goes in, the bigger one stays out. I was highly skeptical, but after giving it the old college try I became a believer.

And where do you go? What do you do? Butt?

The usual spot.You're not that big.

Wow, what did GM do to you?

 

[Bob Sacamano]

I bought a vibrating c### ring this weekend. I think my wife fell in love with me again. Or it.Probably it. But I would highly recommend this.

We "discovered" these a few years back, have now graduated to this thing called a WeVibe. Makes the ring look like a POS in comparison and the wife freaking loves it. If she liked the ring I would highly recommend this, it's rather odd looking but very much worth it.

I just looked that up. Where does it go?

Well the smaller side goes in, the bigger one stays out. I was highly skeptical, but after giving it the old college try I became a believer.

And where do you go? What do you do? Butt?

The usual spot.You're not that big.

Wow, what did GM do to you?

Butt, apparently.

 

[Early_10]

I bought a vibrating c### ring this weekend. I think my wife fell in love with me again. Or it.

Probably it. But I would highly recommend this.

We "discovered" these a few years back, have now graduated to this thing called a WeVibe. Makes the ring look like a POS in comparison and the wife freaking loves it. If she liked the ring I would highly recommend this, it's rather odd looking but very much worth it.

I just looked that up. Where does it go?

Well the smaller side goes in, the bigger one stays out. I was highly skeptical, but after giving it the old college try I became a believer.

And where do you go? What do you do? Butt?

The usual spot.You're not that big.

Wow, what did GM do to you?

That was the general "all men" you.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

I bought a vibrating c### ring this weekend. I think my wife fell in love with me again. Or it.Probably it. But I would highly recommend this.

We "discovered" these a few years back, have now graduated to this thing called a WeVibe. Makes the ring look like a POS in comparison and the wife freaking loves it. If she liked the ring I would highly recommend this, it's rather odd looking but very much worth it.

I just looked that up. Where does it go?

Well the smaller side goes in, the bigger one stays out. I was highly skeptical, but after giving it the old college try I became a believer.

And where do you go? What do you do? Butt?

The usual spot.You're not that big.

Wow, what did GM do to you?

Butt, apparently.

What what?

 

[mr. furley]

the lord's work, indeed

http://thecosbysweaterproject.tumblr.com/

 

[Sconch]

Anyone know where Schwarzenegger's love-child lives? I do. I'll give you 3 guesses and the first 2 don't count.

 

[Nigel Tufnel]

Anyone know where Schwarzenegger's love-child lives? I do. I'll give you 3 guesses and the first 2 don't count.

Student of yours?

 

[Sconch]

Anyone know where Schwarzenegger's love-child lives? I do. I'll give you 3 guesses and the first 2 don't count.

Student of yours?

Almost. They live about 2 miles from here. That puts them just a couple of blocks outside my district.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Holy crap, we have somebody "very interested" in our house. So much so they are wondering how much we would want for the washer and dryer. No offer yet though.

 

[Early_10]

Holy crap, we have somebody "very interested" in our house. So much so they are wondering how much we would want for the washer and dryer. No offer yet though.

My parents are planning on making an offer on our house before it's listed. No way he agrees to that without some arm twisting. If the numbers work, is there a way he would have to accept it?

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Holy crap, we have somebody "very interested" in our house. So much so they are wondering how much we would want for the washer and dryer. No offer yet though.

My parents are planning on making an offer on our house before it's listed. No way he agrees to that without some arm twisting. If the numbers work, is there a way he would have to accept it?

ball.ping.hammer

 

[Homer J Simpson]

Ror

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

Ror

I think you owe us some details on the latest date with destiny.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

Ror

I think you owe us some details on the latest date with destiny.

I had been drinking heavily for eight hours. She was here. I needed an easy slumpbuster. And I'm a complete idiot with the will power of a toddler.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Ror

I think you owe us some details on the latest date with destiny.

I had been drinking heavily for eight hours. She was here. I needed an easy slumpbuster. And I'm a complete idiot with the will power of a toddler.

Soooooooo pics?

 

[Homer J Simpson]

But more importantly, I've been texting heavily with the youngster that I was messing around with on Sunday night. She said several times that she's "not that kind of girl" and "not slurry at all". Based on past experience with girls who make statements like this, I will be doing very bad things with this chick in the next few days.

 

[Sconch]

But more importantly, I've been texting heavily with the youngster that I was messing around with on Sunday night. She said several times that she's "not that kind of girl" and "not slurry at all". Based on past experience with girls who make statements like this, I will be doing very bad things with this chick in the next few days.

Ruffies?

 

[Homer J Simpson]

Ror

I think you owe us some details on the latest date with destiny.

I had been drinking heavily for eight hours. She was here. I needed an easy slumpbuster. And I'm a complete idiot with the will power of a toddler.

Soooooooo pics?

You don't want em. Seriously, I don't know what my wang was thinking.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Ror

I think you owe us some details on the latest date with destiny.

I had been drinking heavily for eight hours. She was here. I needed an easy slumpbuster. And I'm a complete idiot with the will power of a toddler.

Soooooooo pics?

You don't want em. Seriously, I don't know what my wang was thinking.

tryme

 

[Good Posting Judge]

Ror

I think you owe us some details on the latest date with destiny.

I had been drinking heavily for eight hours. She was here. I needed an easy slumpbuster. And I'm a complete idiot with the will power of a toddler.

:softball of all softballs:

 

[Early_10]

April 17th was my last contact with female private parts. I don't even want to speculate when my next visit south of the equator will be...

April 29th for me....who hits paydirt first? Taking bets.

 

[Tiger Fan]

Ror

I think you owe us some details on the latest date with destiny.

I had been drinking heavily for eight hours. She was here. I needed an easy slumpbuster. And I'm a complete idiot with the will power of a toddler.

Soooooooo pics?

You don't want em. Seriously, I don't know what my wang was thinking.

tryme

lol

 

[Sconch]

April 17th was my last contact with female private parts. I don't even want to speculate when my next visit south of the equator will be...

April 29th for me....who hits paydirt first? Taking bets.

You haven't touched your hoo-hah in over 2 weeks?

 

[Good Posting Judge]

April 17th was my last contact with female private parts. I don't even want to speculate when my next visit south of the equator will be...

Want me to fly up there? It's not gay if it is someone from out-of-state.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

April 17th was my last contact with female private parts. I don't even want to speculate when my next visit south of the equator will be...

Missed this. I guess this explains why you're so uptight and the twitching. In a completely unrelated note, how many times do you think YSR has done it since Sunday night?

 

[Good Posting Judge]

April 17th was my last contact with female private parts. I don't even want to speculate when my next visit south of the equator will be...

Missed this. I guess this explains why you're so uptight and the twitching. In a completely unrelated note, how many times do you think YSR has done it since Sunday night?

Once...but it was without the sheet!

 

[St. Louis Bob]

 

[kevzilla]

April 17th was my last contact with female private parts. I don't even want to speculate when my next visit south of the equator will be...

April 29th for me....who hits paydirt first? Taking bets.

Not taking that bet. You can end your slump by going out on the porch and whistling.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

I bought a vibrating c### ring this weekend. I think my wife fell in love with me again. Or it.Probably it. But I would highly recommend this.

We "discovered" these a few years back, have now graduated to this thing called a WeVibe. Makes the ring look like a POS in comparison and the wife freaking loves it. If she liked the ring I would highly recommend this, it's rather odd looking but very much worth it.

I just looked that up. Where does it go?

Diagram here: http://we-vibe.com/about-we-vibe

Oh no freaking way. E-mail to Mrs. SLB sent.

reply:

Not for a hundred dollars

She'll expect me to lie. Anybody got a coupon or maybe a used one?

 

[Buck Bradcanon]

Hate Stu. Lots.

 

[Sconch]

I bought a vibrating c### ring this weekend. I think my wife fell in love with me again. Or it.

Probably it. But I would highly recommend this.

We "discovered" these a few years back, have now graduated to this thing called a WeVibe. Makes the ring look like a POS in comparison and the wife freaking loves it. If she liked the ring I would highly recommend this, it's rather odd looking but very much worth it.

I just looked that up. Where does it go?

Diagram here: http://we-vibe.com/about-we-vibe

Oh no freaking way. E-mail to Mrs. SLB sent.

reply:

Not for a hundred dollars

She'll expect me to lie. Anybody got a coupon or maybe a used one?

You can't spare $57, Cockafellar?

 

[Good Posting Judge]

I bought a vibrating c### ring this weekend. I think my wife fell in love with me again. Or it.Probably it. But I would highly recommend this.

We "discovered" these a few years back, have now graduated to this thing called a WeVibe. Makes the ring look like a POS in comparison and the wife freaking loves it. If she liked the ring I would highly recommend this, it's rather odd looking but very much worth it.

I just looked that up. Where does it go?

Diagram here: http://we-vibe.com/about-we-vibe

Oh no freaking way. E-mail to Mrs. SLB sent.

reply:

Not for a hundred dollars

She'll expect me to lie. Anybody got a coupon or maybe a used one?

The one I got was $20. Can't imagine the ChipClip is 5x better.

 

[Thorn]

Holy crap, we have somebody "very interested" in our house. So much so they are wondering how much we would want for the washer and dryer. No offer yet though.

When someone asks you how much the firm minimum is, the answer is ZERO!

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Holy crap, we have somebody "very interested" in our house. So much so they are wondering how much we would want for the washer and dryer. No offer yet though.

When someone asks you how much the firm minimum is, the answer is ZERO!

Negotiating 101

 

[Mrs. BSR]

:lookingfor$100:

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Sooooo my no drinking & no smoking streak has been broken. Yet another wake tonight, this time for a GF at work whose dad passed. As I'm walking into the funeral home she's walking out and says have a drink and smoke with me. What am I going to say?

Also, twice today I had chicks say they knew some place. The second was my first visit to a podiatrist to which my wife referred me to. I roached the heels of my feet pretty bad with all of the exercizin' I've been doing. Anyhow, I'm laying there and as he sensually examined my dogs he remarks how Mrs. SLB talks a lot. "Oh I know" I reply. He then says "look how much longer, wow, a whole lot longer this toe (the one next to Sgt. Hulka) is! This is why you're the boss and probably thirst for power."

In other news:

Flashback to a couple of weeks ago and I was teaching Cal what a rat is and how he should never be a rat. That's it. I was just sick and tired of the constant tattle telling on his little brother. So him and another kid in his class are ####### around in aftercare this afternoon, still not sure what, and some kid says he's telling on them. So Cal grabs the kid by the neck with both hands and says if you rat, I'll strangle you. Can't wait to talk to the principal tomorrow. Thank God there are only 7 more days of school left. Before anybody rolls their Jump To Conclusions mat out, I don't watch television other than sports/history/nature in front of the kids, so he didn't get that from a program or movie I was watching. I honestly just believe it's in our genes. Sort of my go to move too. FML

I'm going to go taste some B/buds on my back porch now.