GM's thread about nothing (32 Viewers)

[Homer J Simpson]

She doesn't have a car.

 

[Celph Titled]

So, my 35-yo stepsister got completely bombed tonight and tried to hit on a 12 year-old. You don't see that every day.

Gonna need a little more to this one, GB.

My wife reported this one to me, I actually wasn't present for this. But apparently he was wearing a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle shirt or something and they "met" as they were walking to the bathroom.Also, "Ed and Diane" were there. Ed has a high-pitched voice, is constantly scouring a crappy campground with his metal detector, and freely used the "n" word last year while bombed. He also tried to hit on my stepsister. Also, the dog barks at him with a raw, intense hatred. Diane kicked off last night's dinner with a "prayer", which actually began 5 minutes into the meal, and that nobody wanted a part of. I was able to subtly make the univeral "jerking off" motion within my chick's eyesight, which got a giggle (sorry flyover state GB's). During the prayer, Diane mentioned how great "the country of Lake Tahoe" is.Later, after her awful prayer, Diane got hammered on tequila and almost fell into the campfire. I am not making this up.GM> Are you familiar with the girl/camera/mirror website? I just started a thread on :e:. It's...amazing.

 

[ShaqAttaq]

i'd like to see a pic of her smiling

She doesn't have a car.

 

[YSR]

I've had a Tanner-ful 24 hours, starting yesterday morning when I spent 3 hours driving all around Jacksonville trying to track down a package. I wound up in some sketchier parts of town, and the only real highlight of the morning was this.

Then, this morning, the BF - upon taking a closer look at the t-shirt I slept in - asked where Oildale University was. Umm... Err...

Had to drive through the Dale just now. here you go

Exchange I just had with my dadad: What's that t-shirt say? [looks at my Oildale U shirt and is ]

Me: I got it from someone in California

Dad: Who?

Me: It was just this secret santa gift thing and this guy... [start to realize how this is sounding]

Dad: You shouldn't be getting gifts from some guy in California

Me: Dad, it's no big deal. He's married and teaches middle school and...

Dad: [stares both blankly and expectantly]

Me:

Sometimes it's hard to explain the Internet.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Oh man.

I got home from the casino about 2:30 and I didn't hear from Mrs. SLB. Maybe she is done with me, I don't know. It was hot but not too bad and I was sitting on my patio with a heaping helpin' of JD listening to the Cardinal game. The dog brings me a ball and I'm in a good mood (do those words rhyme?) so I figure I'll throw the ball for awhile. Now my patio is a semicircle that is surrounded by a brick wall. Years ago I stacked some cinder blocks to make stairs for the dog to get to the yard because I didn't want to knock a hole in the wall. Maybe it was the booze or the fact I was dialing on my phone but as I'm walking down my hoosier stairs the second cinder block somehow shoots out from underneath me like a watermelon seed between the fingers. My phone goes flying in the air and my head, my head, hits the top cinder block from about a 7 foot free fall. It's funny, I was thinking about in another thr:e:ad how some people that want to shoot their mouth off at me, unprovoked mind you, wouldn't dream of doing so to my face. Anyhow, I felt the back of my head and blood was gushing out and there was a huge lump. I wasn't sure what to do so I picked up my drink, I DIDN'T SPILL IT, and headed inside. Mrs. SLB came home to find me drunk and covered with blood and mud. She was not amused.

 

[urbanhack]

holy ####....

did you have to go to the hospital?

 

[guru_007]

you ok SLB???

 

[St. Louis Bob]

holy ####....did you have to go to the hospital?

No, she said I should have. It bled for almost 2 hours. I don't know, maybe I should get it checked out. It's good to me married to a medical professional.

you ok SLB???

I hope so.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

I wasn't sure what to do so I picked up my drink, I DIDN'T SPILL IT, and headed inside.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

stairs

head

 

[Thorn]

holy ####....did you have to go to the hospital?

No, she said I should have. It bled for almost 2 hours. I don't know, maybe I should get it checked out. It's good to me married to a medical professional.

you ok SLB???

I hope so.

Bled for two hours and a large bump? Meh, I'm sure nothing to think twice about.

 

[urbanhack]

stairs

Replace the stairs with these?

 

[Sideshow Bob]

stairs

head

What's with the asterisk? 'Roids?

 

[St. Louis Bob]

holy ####....did you have to go to the hospital?

No, she said I should have. It bled for almost 2 hours. I don't know, maybe I should get it checked out. It's good to me married to a medical professional.

you ok SLB???

I hope so.

Bled for two hours and a large bump? Meh, I'm sure nothing to think twice about.

I messed up my rotator too. Dang.Maybe I should go back to bed.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

stairs

head

What's with the asterisk? 'Roids?

lmaoMrs. SLB's handy work with the steri strips. I was news to me too.

Maybe I'll get super powers or something out of this.

She didn't think my jokes about blood clots were funny either.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

I just clicked on caption the photo #3. Great googly moogly.

 

[boilerdave]

as I'm walking down my hoosier stairs the second cinder block somehow shoots out from underneath me like a watermelon seed between the fingers.

This is a term I have not heard before, probably because I am a Hoosier.

 

[Sideshow Bob]

as I'm walking down my hoosier stairs the second cinder block somehow shoots out from underneath me like a watermelon seed between the fingers.

This is a term I have not heard before, probably because I am a Hoosier.

In the St. Louis area, hoosier is an adjective used to describe anything that's... not quite right. My old man complains about those "Damn hoosier Missouri drivers" all the time.

 

[charvik]

as I'm walking down my hoosier stairs the second cinder block somehow shoots out from underneath me like a watermelon seed between the fingers.

This is a term I have not heard before, probably because I am a Hoosier.

In the St. Louis area, hoosier is an adjective used to describe anything that's... not quite right. My old man complains about those "Damn hoosier Missouri drivers" all the time.

My wife's family are all hoosiers, and that sounds spot on...

 

[Early_10]

I've been Mrs SLB, more or less. Blood covered spouses are not amusing.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

I've been Mrs SLB, more or less. Blood covered spouses are not amusing.

Tell me about it.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

I've been Mrs SLB, more or less. Blood covered spouses are not amusing.

Depends on the spouse.

 

[eoMMan]

Stealth photo of her talking to someone Im actually friends with...I'm really hoping my discretions don't get out to the general public.

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o131/3putter/e93cf6a4.jpg

http://sowhathappenedwas.files.wordpress.c...9/kyle_moar.jpgPlease.

 

[Skipdog77]

Stealth photo of her talking to someone Im actually friends with...I'm really hoping my discretions don't get out to the general public.

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o131/3putter/e93cf6a4.jpg

he looks like he's hoping for:A) a meteor to come crashing into the bar at that exact moment

or

2) a cyanide pill

 

[Thorn]

I've been Mrs SLB, more or less. Blood covered spouses are not amusing.

Please vote in my e poll. TIA.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Ow

 

[Early_10]

I've been Mrs SLB, more or less. Blood covered spouses are not amusing.

Please vote in my e poll. TIA.

There's no bad time for sex. No redwings or clown face though.

 

[Thorn]

I've been Mrs SLB, more or less. Blood covered spouses are not amusing.

Please vote in my e poll. TIA.

There's no bad time for sex. No redwings or clown face though.

Agree on both counts.

 

[SuperJohn96]

stairs

head

Nice head.So...St. Louis Bob = Dr. Evil then?

 

[SuperJohn96]

Stealth photo of her talking to someone Im actually friends with...I'm really hoping my discretions don't get out to the general public.

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o131/3putter/e93cf6a4.jpg

Your friend looks like Norm.

So you're Cliff Claven?

 

[Disco Stu]

Are we certain letting the bat#### crazy chick with the heavily armed neo-nazi family know where you live was a good idea?

Doesn't matter. They had already followed him home from work by this point.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

Stealth photo of her talking to someone Im actually friends with...I'm really hoping my discretions don't get out to the general public.

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o131/3putter/e93cf6a4.jpg

Your friend looks like Norm.

So you're Cliff Claven?

I'm Sam.Or maybe Woody.

 

[Sideshow Bob]

Stealth photo of her talking to someone Im actually friends with...I'm really hoping my discretions don't get out to the general public.

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o131/3putter/e93cf6a4.jpg

Your friend looks like Norm.

So you're Cliff Claven?

I'm Sam.Or maybe Woody.

Screaming Viking please.

 

[EYLive]

Stealth photo of her talking to someone Im actually friends with...I'm really hoping my discretions don't get out to the general public.

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o131/3putter/e93cf6a4.jpg

Your friend looks like Norm.

Isn't he on that midget wrestling show, Half-Pint Brawlers?

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Mrs. SLB just promised me lovin tonight if I go see the doctor.

Appointment is a 1.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Stealth photo of her talking to someone Im actually friends with...I'm really hoping my discretions don't get out to the general public.

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o131/3putter/e93cf6a4.jpg

Your friend looks like Norm.

So you're Cliff Claven?

I'm Sam.Or maybe Woody.

Screaming Viking please.

Do you want your cucumber bruised?

 

[Sideshow Bob]

Mrs. SLB just promised me lovin tonight if I go see the doctor.Appointment is a 1.

On a scale of 10?

 

[Sideshow Bob]

Stealth photo of her talking to someone Im actually friends with...I'm really hoping my discretions don't get out to the general public.

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o131/3putter/e93cf6a4.jpg

Your friend looks like Norm.

So you're Cliff Claven?

I'm Sam.Or maybe Woody.

Screaming Viking please.

Do you want your cucumber bruised?

Like you wouldn't believe.

 

[JaxBill]

Mrs. SLB just promised me lovin tonight if I go see the doctor.

Appointment is a 1.

 

[SuperJohn96]

Mrs. SLB just promised me lovin tonight if I go see the doctor.Appointment is a 1.

Aren't you a doctor?

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Mrs. SLB just promised me lovin tonight if I go see the doctor.Appointment is a 1.

Aren't you a doctor?

A chronic miscreant would be a more proper definition.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Mrs. SLB just promised me lovin tonight if I go see the doctor.

Appointment is a 1.

What show is that?

 

[SuperJohn96]

Mrs. SLB just promised me lovin tonight if I go see the doctor.

Appointment is a 1.

Aren't you a doctor?

A chronic miscreant would be a more proper definition.

Sounds about right.

 

[JaxBill]

Mrs. SLB just promised me lovin tonight if I go see the doctor.

Appointment is a 1.

Big Bang Theory

 

[Oh Yes!]

this thread is so money

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Mrs. SLB just promised me lovin tonight if I go see the doctor.

Appointment is a 1.

Aren't you a doctor?

A chronic miscreant would be a more proper definition.

Sounds about right.

yeah

 

[Homer J Simpson]

Mrs. SLB just promised me lovin tonight if I go see the doctor.

Appointment is a 1.

Aren't you a doctor?

A chronic miscreant would be a more proper definition.

Sounds about right.

yeah

 

[videoguy505]

Your friend looks like Norm.So you're Cliff Claven?

I'm Sam.Or maybe Woody.

Screaming Viking please.

Do you want your cucumber bruised?

Like you wouldn't believe.

 

[SuperJohn96]

this thread is so money

Every day is like Friday.

 

[urbanhack]

this thread is so money

the views-to-posts ratio is unbelievable!