This is long. Skip past if you don't want to be depressed. I'm sorry in advance, I've had a few cocktails with the family of Jack Foley.
Jack Foley, the man, the myth, the legend.
Jack Foley passed at the age of 69 with virtually no liver left on Monday night. He drank himself to death but he was my second father and the best overall person I've ever known.
RIP Jack, you were the man who shaped me into the man I am today. 69 years was way too young, but you deserve your peace. I love you.
Jack married Patricia in 1969. Pat was not able to have children at that time. So they adopted 2 black boys and 2 white girls, John, Jim, Julie and Jeannie. And they loved them. They became a family. The oldest black boy, John, ended up with muscular dystrophy. The odds on that are pretty high. But they loved him along with their other adopted children. They gave him a life of a normal child....dragging him on a sled after he was wheelchair ridden, up a hill so he could sled down with all the other kids....things like that. Jack did everything for his children.
Even as a vice principal at a local high school, he provided for the kids, and his students. He would walk across the street and bust the kids who were smoking behind the VFW...he would have a cigarette with them and then stress the importance of being in school. These kids would go back to class on their own volition. These kids knew and respected him...and he respected them regardless of their situation. He knew every kid by name. He related to them by situation and had 500 former students at his wake today. His influence extended beyond his family....to his students. His former students became teachers and administrators and helped shape another generation of good young men and women. I met many of them tonight. These people told me about kids that have no parents, that they have helped out, because Jack Foley taught them how to treat students with respect. I cannot fathom how one person makes that kind of impact. And he had a big impact on me, but I digress...
Not long after they adopted 4 children, Jack and Pat were able to actually have two children of their own. Janet and Joel. Believe it or not, Joel had muscular dystrophy. So they now have 6 kids, 2 with MD. If one were to calculate the odds of that, I would tell them to buy a lottery ticket.
But they loved their adopted children and their natural children.
After about 15 years, John and Joel were stuck in wheelchairs. Can you imagine having 6 kids, and 2 with a debilitating disease? These boys had legs that atrophied and were chubby because of no excercise so they were 200+ pounds.
We had a group of 8 or 9 friends who would go to their house every night and lift them into bed, wipe their ### when they ####, feed them when they couldn't lift their arms....we loved those boys as friends. We never saw them as handicapped. We saw them as people. We took them to movies. We took them to bars and they made asses of themselves because they obviously couldn't handle their liqour. But Jack told us..."Take these boys out. You guys will live and I will never forget what you did for them. Let these boys have a normal life"
So we would come home at 2am with 2 drunk kids in wheelchairs. Let me tell you that it was interesting trying to put them to bed. We would have to lift them onto the ####ter, wipe their ### and then give them a ham sandwich because it sounded good at 2am.
Did I mention that they both smoked weed? Many of my fondest memories of both of these boys was holding up a bowl to their mouths and lighting it. There's nothing funnier than a cripple thats high. Joel would say "I can't feel my legs". You probably had to be there, and be high, but we all laughed like a *******.
So in 1997 John died due to his MD. It was peaceful and in his sleep. We all came home from our freshman year in college and stayed a few weeks with the family. They were having a tough time adjusting to putting them into bed because we werent there to do it on a daily basis. They had a "lift" that was uncomfortable for the boys but that was what they had to work with because Jack and Pat were in their late 50s at this point. 2 of us were there on weekends but Jack and Pat were aging and flat out couldn't do it anymore. Their other kids had families of their own and could only come over to help once in a while. But for those 2 weeks, we were back and Jack and Pat were grateful. Either way, they were left with a 21 year old, handicapped Joel. Joel wanted to do nothing but get ####ed up like his college friends. So we got him ####ed up. We brought him to our dorms, we brought him to college parties...alll in a wheelchair. It's amazing how friendly people will be when you have a friend in a wheelchair. He had no tolerance because he couldn't walk it off, but he hung and drank and smoked weed like a trooper.
Long story even longer, (sorry this will be very long) a few of us didn't do the whole college thing. So we were there daily with Joel after we were around 21. He took John's death really hard, but we played video games with him, watched movies with him, took him to the mall, took him to Brewer and Bucks games. We took him to Water Street, the "college" bar district in Milwaukee. We did what we could to and actually got him laid one night. This broad had no morals and we might have paid her, and she might have been 200 lbs+ but Joel lost his cherry...sort of...he couldnt feel his weiner. But for him....WINNING
But he kept comparing his age to John's age and planning his own death. We tried to steer him away from that but when he would get drunk or high, he would talk about it.
The whole time, Jack would give us money, give us the keys to the "handy-van" and continue to tell us to make sure that Joel was normal. We did.
Pat came down with leukemia in 2001. She got real sick and Jack continued to be the rock that held that family together. Sure we were there to help with Joel, but Jack was the man.
Janet, their first natural daughter got married in May of 2002. Pat was bed ridden and couldn't attend. I #### you not, 5 minutes before Janet walked down the aisle, Jack got the phone call that his wife had died. She was going to be at that wedding some way, some how. So Jack, being the rock that he was, walked his daughter down the aisle right after his wife had died, gave his daughter away and said nothing about Pat dying. This guy dug deep down and did something I don't think any one of us could have ever done.
He gathered his kids in a room after the ceremony and broke the news. He then said "You have the next hour to compose yourselves. We have a party to throw"
By the time of the reception, the news had spread. People were crying, but jovial because of the wedding. Then the grand march came. They annonced the couples, and then announced Jack and his belated wife.......
I'm crying right now thinking about this....
There wasn't a dry eye in the house. But the place ####### erupted like the Packers won the Super Bowl. It was amazing. I remember balling my eyes out and screaming and clapping as he walked out in front of everyone by himself and gave his daughter a big hug. This guy just lost his wife and had tigerblood running through his veins. I think the ovation lasted for about 15 minutes. It was probably the most touching moment I've ever experience in my life.
Our group of friends took a picture that night. We didn't even realize the
"Wall of Honor"behind us. This pic has become legendary amongst us and everyone wants a copy.....
A short time after that, Joel passed. We took him up north to a friends cabin. He loved going up there. We were getting drunk at a local bar and Joel said "Hey, I'm going to go outside and get some air"...something he had done many times when we were out. 15 minutes later we went to go check on him and he was dead in his wheelchair...at midnight in the middle of nowheresville WIsconsin. The ambulance took a half hour to get there. He was gone.
Jack had lost 2 of his boys and his wife. Every year he would invite us to have our fantasy draft at the house (we now play for the Joel Foley Memorial Trophy). He would buy a ton of food, a ton of beer and we would all come from around the state to draft and then have an old fashoined party at Jacks house. We would be half buzzed and done with our draft and he would walk in and say "All of you boys are welcome in this house whenever you need. You are all my sons" We might have cried, knowing that this could not last.
Years later, we would all stop by and say hi when we could. We would shoot the #### with him while he laid on the ground, doing his crossword puzzle that he did every day. He would offer us food, he would offer us beer that he kept in the fridge
He drank a bottle of vodka every day. After what he had gone through, being a vice principal, being a father of 6, 2 of whom had MD, and losign his wife, the guy deserved a drink. Ultimately it killed him. He died of liver failure. But he was the kindest, most generous, thoughtful man I have ever met. His 6 kids never went without, especially his 2 handicapped kids..and all of their friends always had a place to stay, a plate to eat and/or an ear to talk to.
I am proud to be a part of his family. He knew me as another son. I knew him as a second father. He is what I aspire to be and I already miss him.
Thank you for letting me get that out. Sorry for seriousing up this thread.