GM's thread about nothing (43 Viewers)

[St. Louis Bob]

wife went to her school dance (teacher) on Saturday night, I'm up in Portland and couldn't go. This fat f'n ##### bag has made comments to her before testing the water if she would be down to have an affair with him. He even offered money at some point . So of course while I'm gone this ### comes up to her at the auction/dance and tests the water again. He introduces her to a Coast Guard guy and his wife knowing that I'm in the Coast Guard. They try to figure out if we know each other and don't so he asks to meet me, well the wife tells the Coastie that I'm out of town on response. ######## hears this and after the friend walks away tells her that with me out of town there is nothing keeping her from not going back to his house. This guy is married and loaded with cash and has muliple homes in the area. She said she instantly turned around and walked away without saying a word. Today she told her principal and the principal called the guy and told him to stop all contact with my wife. Evidently another teacher the year before had the same issue with this guy but didn't want a phone call made. So I just did some facebook searching and was able to pull his phone number off of there and am about to paste it at craigslist for all kinds of ####.

Step 1. Get GM drunkStep 2. ???Step 3. Revenge

 

[Bob Sacamano]

Got a number for his wife? Maybe he'd prefer to be half as rich.

So he gets to hit on mex's wife AND get rid of his own? For somebody with kids, you should really be better at thinking up punishments.

 

[Idiot Boxer]

Got a number for his wife? Maybe he'd prefer to be half as rich.

So he gets to hit on mex's wife AND get rid of his own? For somebody with kids, you should really be better at thinking up punishments.

Idiot Boxer likes this.

 

[wadegarrett]

wife went to her school dance (teacher) on Saturday night, I'm up in Portland and couldn't go. This fat f'n ##### bag has made comments to her before testing the water if she would be down to have an affair with him. He even offered money at some point . So of course while I'm gone this ### comes up to her at the auction/dance and tests the water again. He introduces her to a Coast Guard guy and his wife knowing that I'm in the Coast Guard. They try to figure out if we know each other and don't so he asks to meet me, well the wife tells the Coastie that I'm out of town on response. ######## hears this and after the friend walks away tells her that with me out of town there is nothing keeping her from not going back to his house. This guy is married and loaded with cash and has muliple homes in the area. She said she instantly turned around and walked away without saying a word. Today she told her principal and the principal called the guy and told him to stop all contact with my wife. Evidently another teacher the year before had the same issue with this guy but didn't want a phone call made. So I just did some facebook searching and was able to pull his phone number off of there and am about to paste it at craigslist for all kinds of ####.

Some guy has been advancing on your wife continuously and you're going to post his number on Craigslist? It would take me all of 2 seconds to call that ##### and tell him we're going to have a serious disagreement if he ever talks to my wife again.

 

[CGRdrJoe]

wife went to her school dance (teacher) on Saturday night, I'm up in Portland and couldn't go. This fat f'n ##### bag has made comments to her before testing the water if she would be down to have an affair with him. He even offered money at some point . So of course while I'm gone this ### comes up to her at the auction/dance and tests the water again. He introduces her to a Coast Guard guy and his wife knowing that I'm in the Coast Guard. They try to figure out if we know each other and don't so he asks to meet me, well the wife tells the Coastie that I'm out of town on response. ######## hears this and after the friend walks away tells her that with me out of town there is nothing keeping her from not going back to his house. This guy is married and loaded with cash and has muliple homes in the area. She said she instantly turned around and walked away without saying a word. Today she told her principal and the principal called the guy and told him to stop all contact with my wife. Evidently another teacher the year before had the same issue with this guy but didn't want a phone call made. So I just did some facebook searching and was able to pull his phone number off of there and am about to paste it at craigslist for all kinds of ####.

Some guy has been advancing on your wife continuously and you're going to post his number on Craigslist? It would take me all of 2 seconds to call that ##### and tell him we're going to have a serious disagreement if he ever talks to my wife again.

The guy is a 60 year old slob and not a threat as my wife is hot and happy with me, this guy is a mess http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=100000091986401

 

[CGRdrJoe]

Got a number for his wife? Maybe he'd prefer to be half as rich.

Pretty sure his wife knows which is why she doesn't attend events with him. My wife and the principal thinks he does this non stop until he finds one that says yes. It reminds me of the Joe Piscipo SNL sketch where he interviews a couple of men's, Michael Jackson and Elton John and MJ says he uses the same technique.

 

[RudiStein]

Dude should be transferred imediately. Seriously. If it has happened before that school better cover its ### quickly.

He is not a teacher he is a parent of one of the students and evidently uber rich. I told the wife I'm close to getting a restraining order and shockingly she did not disagree.

Ah...well that's good news at least. If he's not a co-worker you don't have to tip-toe around. They still use .50 cals on cutters?

 

[wadegarrett]

wife went to her school dance (teacher) on Saturday night, I'm up in Portland and couldn't go. This fat f'n ##### bag has made comments to her before testing the water if she would be down to have an affair with him. He even offered money at some point . So of course while I'm gone this ### comes up to her at the auction/dance and tests the water again. He introduces her to a Coast Guard guy and his wife knowing that I'm in the Coast Guard. They try to figure out if we know each other and don't so he asks to meet me, well the wife tells the Coastie that I'm out of town on response. ######## hears this and after the friend walks away tells her that with me out of town there is nothing keeping her from not going back to his house. This guy is married and loaded with cash and has muliple homes in the area. She said she instantly turned around and walked away without saying a word. Today she told her principal and the principal called the guy and told him to stop all contact with my wife. Evidently another teacher the year before had the same issue with this guy but didn't want a phone call made. So I just did some facebook searching and was able to pull his phone number off of there and am about to paste it at craigslist for all kinds of ####.

Some guy has been advancing on your wife continuously and you're going to post his number on Craigslist? It would take me all of 2 seconds to call that ##### and tell him we're going to have a serious disagreement if he ever talks to my wife again.

The guy is a 60 year old slob and not a threat as my wife is hot and happy with me, this guy is a mess http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=100000091986401

that jagoff would still be getting a call from me regardless of what he looks like

 

[St. Louis Bob]

wife went to her school dance (teacher) on Saturday night, I'm up in Portland and couldn't go. This fat f'n ##### bag has made comments to her before testing the water if she would be down to have an affair with him. He even offered money at some point . So of course while I'm gone this ### comes up to her at the auction/dance and tests the water again. He introduces her to a Coast Guard guy and his wife knowing that I'm in the Coast Guard. They try to figure out if we know each other and don't so he asks to meet me, well the wife tells the Coastie that I'm out of town on response. ######## hears this and after the friend walks away tells her that with me out of town there is nothing keeping her from not going back to his house. This guy is married and loaded with cash and has muliple homes in the area. She said she instantly turned around and walked away without saying a word. Today she told her principal and the principal called the guy and told him to stop all contact with my wife. Evidently another teacher the year before had the same issue with this guy but didn't want a phone call made. So I just did some facebook searching and was able to pull his phone number off of there and am about to paste it at craigslist for all kinds of ####.

Some guy has been advancing on your wife continuously and you're going to post his number on Craigslist? It would take me all of 2 seconds to call that ##### and tell him we're going to have a serious disagreement if he ever talks to my wife again.

The guy is a 60 year old slob and not a threat as my wife is hot and happy with me, this guy is a mess http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=100000091986401

I don't know, I've heard Martin Mull can be pret-ty persuasive.

 

[RudiStein]

wife went to her school dance (teacher) on Saturday night, I'm up in Portland and couldn't go. This fat f'n ##### bag has made comments to her before testing the water if she would be down to have an affair with him. He even offered money at some point . So of course while I'm gone this ### comes up to her at the auction/dance and tests the water again. He introduces her to a Coast Guard guy and his wife knowing that I'm in the Coast Guard. They try to figure out if we know each other and don't so he asks to meet me, well the wife tells the Coastie that I'm out of town on response. ######## hears this and after the friend walks away tells her that with me out of town there is nothing keeping her from not going back to his house. This guy is married and loaded with cash and has muliple homes in the area. She said she instantly turned around and walked away without saying a word. Today she told her principal and the principal called the guy and told him to stop all contact with my wife. Evidently another teacher the year before had the same issue with this guy but didn't want a phone call made. So I just did some facebook searching and was able to pull his phone number off of there and am about to paste it at craigslist for all kinds of ####.

Some guy has been advancing on your wife continuously and you're going to post his number on Craigslist? It would take me all of 2 seconds to call that ##### and tell him we're going to have a serious disagreement if he ever talks to my wife again.

The guy is a 60 year old slob and not a threat as my wife is hot and happy with me, this guy is a mess http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=100000091986401

Have SLB make friends with him. He'll probably kick the bucket within a year.

 

[Limp Ditka]

wife went to her school dance (teacher) on Saturday night, I'm up in Portland and couldn't go. This fat f'n ##### bag has made comments to her before testing the water if she would be down to have an affair with him. He even offered money at some point . So of course while I'm gone this ### comes up to her at the auction/dance and tests the water again. He introduces her to a Coast Guard guy and his wife knowing that I'm in the Coast Guard. They try to figure out if we know each other and don't so he asks to meet me, well the wife tells the Coastie that I'm out of town on response. ######## hears this and after the friend walks away tells her that with me out of town there is nothing keeping her from not going back to his house. This guy is married and loaded with cash and has muliple homes in the area. She said she instantly turned around and walked away without saying a word. Today she told her principal and the principal called the guy and told him to stop all contact with my wife. Evidently another teacher the year before had the same issue with this guy but didn't want a phone call made. So I just did some facebook searching and was able to pull his phone number off of there and am about to paste it at craigslist for all kinds of ####.

Some guy has been advancing on your wife continuously and you're going to post his number on Craigslist? It would take me all of 2 seconds to call that ##### and tell him we're going to have a serious disagreement if he ever talks to my wife again.

The guy is a 60 year old slob and not a threat as my wife is hot and happy with me, this guy is a mess http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=100000091986401

Have SLB make friends with him. He'll probably kick the bucket within a year.

 

[General Malaise]

wife went to her school dance (teacher) on Saturday night, I'm up in Portland and couldn't go. This fat f'n ##### bag has made comments to her before testing the water if she would be down to have an affair with him. He even offered money at some point . So of course while I'm gone this ### comes up to her at the auction/dance and tests the water again. He introduces her to a Coast Guard guy and his wife knowing that I'm in the Coast Guard. They try to figure out if we know each other and don't so he asks to meet me, well the wife tells the Coastie that I'm out of town on response. ######## hears this and after the friend walks away tells her that with me out of town there is nothing keeping her from not going back to his house. This guy is married and loaded with cash and has muliple homes in the area. She said she instantly turned around and walked away without saying a word. Today she told her principal and the principal called the guy and told him to stop all contact with my wife. Evidently another teacher the year before had the same issue with this guy but didn't want a phone call made. So I just did some facebook searching and was able to pull his phone number off of there and am about to paste it at craigslist for all kinds of ####.

How does this fat f'n #### have so much money if he works at the school?

 

[General Malaise]

Celebratory times at the Gadzooks compound. 4 and half year old "Little Zooks" has mastered the art of pooping on the toilet. I never thought the day would come, but it's now been a full week and I will never have to buy another pull up again. The only odd thing is that for some reason he has to take off all of his clothes when he goes. I'm so thrilled he's going on the toilet that I don't even care about the naked pooping. I think he is a little embarrassed about the fact that he takes all of his clothes off, so just to make sure that he has no negative feelings about using the toilet, I told him that I would also take off all of my clothes when I poop. I'm getting used to it and I think I kinda prefer it this way now. Should be interesting the first time he strips down at pre-school when it's time to take the kids to the pool.

My youngest takes off all his clothes too. I've been able to coax him out of NOT doing it at public restrooms as it was very embarassing to see him close the stall and then watch layer after layer of clothing fall to the dirty floor below, but he still removes them all at home.My co-worker also does this. It's a strange move and I'm not sure why some feel the need to do it. I guess it's like spitting in the urinal before you go pee. Some dudes feel required to do this, some, like me, don't like mixing their fluids.

 

[Good Posting Judge]

wife went to her school dance (teacher) on Saturday night, I'm up in Portland and couldn't go. This fat f'n ##### bag has made comments to her before testing the water if she would be down to have an affair with him. He even offered money at some point . So of course while I'm gone this ### comes up to her at the auction/dance and tests the water again. He introduces her to a Coast Guard guy and his wife knowing that I'm in the Coast Guard. They try to figure out if we know each other and don't so he asks to meet me, well the wife tells the Coastie that I'm out of town on response. ######## hears this and after the friend walks away tells her that with me out of town there is nothing keeping her from not going back to his house. This guy is married and loaded with cash and has muliple homes in the area. She said she instantly turned around and walked away without saying a word. Today she told her principal and the principal called the guy and told him to stop all contact with my wife. Evidently another teacher the year before had the same issue with this guy but didn't want a phone call made. So I just did some facebook searching and was able to pull his phone number off of there and am about to paste it at craigslist for all kinds of ####.

Some guy has been advancing on your wife continuously and you're going to post his number on Craigslist? It would take me all of 2 seconds to call that ##### and tell him we're going to have a serious disagreement if he ever talks to my wife again.

For a buddy's bachelor party, I posted his number on Craigslist in the "men for men" section. Hilarity ensued.

 

[Buck Bradcanon]

wife went to her school dance (teacher) on Saturday night, I'm up in Portland and couldn't go. This fat f'n ##### bag has made comments to her before testing the water if she would be down to have an affair with him. He even offered money at some point . So of course while I'm gone this ### comes up to her at the auction/dance and tests the water again. He introduces her to a Coast Guard guy and his wife knowing that I'm in the Coast Guard. They try to figure out if we know each other and don't so he asks to meet me, well the wife tells the Coastie that I'm out of town on response. ######## hears this and after the friend walks away tells her that with me out of town there is nothing keeping her from not going back to his house. This guy is married and loaded with cash and has muliple homes in the area. She said she instantly turned around and walked away without saying a word. Today she told her principal and the principal called the guy and told him to stop all contact with my wife. Evidently another teacher the year before had the same issue with this guy but didn't want a phone call made. So I just did some facebook searching and was able to pull his phone number off of there and am about to paste it at craigslist for all kinds of ####.

Some guy has been advancing on your wife continuously and you're going to post his number on Craigslist? It would take me all of 2 seconds to call that ##### and tell him we're going to have a serious disagreement if he ever talks to my wife again.

The guy is a 60 year old slob and not a threat as my wife is hot and happy with me, this guy is a mess http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=100000091986401

Have SLB make friends with him. He'll probably kick the bucket within a year.

 

[General Malaise]

wife went to her school dance (teacher) on Saturday night, I'm up in Portland and couldn't go. This fat f'n ##### bag has made comments to her before testing the water if she would be down to have an affair with him. He even offered money at some point . So of course while I'm gone this ### comes up to her at the auction/dance and tests the water again. He introduces her to a Coast Guard guy and his wife knowing that I'm in the Coast Guard. They try to figure out if we know each other and don't so he asks to meet me, well the wife tells the Coastie that I'm out of town on response. ######## hears this and after the friend walks away tells her that with me out of town there is nothing keeping her from not going back to his house. This guy is married and loaded with cash and has muliple homes in the area. She said she instantly turned around and walked away without saying a word. Today she told her principal and the principal called the guy and told him to stop all contact with my wife. Evidently another teacher the year before had the same issue with this guy but didn't want a phone call made. So I just did some facebook searching and was able to pull his phone number off of there and am about to paste it at craigslist for all kinds of ####.

Some guy has been advancing on your wife continuously and you're going to post his number on Craigslist? It would take me all of 2 seconds to call that ##### and tell him we're going to have a serious disagreement if he ever talks to my wife again.

The guy is a 60 year old slob and not a threat as my wife is hot and happy with me, this guy is a mess http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=100000091986401

Creepy as all hell. I bet he's thriving on the attention. Looks like a refuge from the 70's porn era. I bet his wife thinks nothing of this behavior. Anyhow, nothing a little 'men seeking men' on craigslist can't fix.

 

[CGRdrJoe]

How does this fat f'n #### have so much money if he works at the school?

He's not a teacher gb. I'm not sure what he does to be honest but his daily driver is a rolls royce and his wife is a cougar. I'm knocking out all my school work right now and then it's gonna be time to hang that number all over the place. Also you watching tomorrow's games anywhere?

 

[eoMMan]

How does this fat f'n #### have so much money if he works at the school?

He's not a teacher gb. I'm not sure what he does to be honest but his daily driver is a rolls royce and his wife is a cougar. I'm knocking out all my school work right now and then it's gonna be time to hang that number all over the place. Also you watching tomorrow's games anywhere?

Why not just tell his wife?

 

[General Malaise]

How does this fat f'n #### have so much money if he works at the school?

He's not a teacher gb. I'm not sure what he does to be honest but his daily driver is a rolls royce and his wife is a cougar. I'm knocking out all my school work right now and then it's gonna be time to hang that number all over the place. Also you watching tomorrow's games anywhere?

Sadly, money does not buy class. I know you are really pissed and rightfully so, but remember you've got a career to safeguard, plus standing in the community. As bad as this guy sucks, think long and hard before you do anything that might come back to bite you. I'd want to punch his lights out and humiliate him too, but I fear you might be bringing a knife to a gun fight considering this guy's resources. You mentioned a restraining order...I think that might be the right move. I'd hate to see this guy fire back at you on charges that could jeopardize your job or ability to coach (background checks are necessary here and I'm sure you have to pass them too...you don't want to risk that).I'll be in Detroit until Tuesday. Hope the weather ticks up here. It sure won't be any better in Michigan.

 

[General Malaise]

How does this fat f'n #### have so much money if he works at the school?

He's not a teacher gb. I'm not sure what he does to be honest but his daily driver is a rolls royce and his wife is a cougar. I'm knocking out all my school work right now and then it's gonna be time to hang that number all over the place. Also you watching tomorrow's games anywhere?

Why not just tell his wife?

I'm guessing if he did, he'd get a huge heaping pile of "I don't give a damn".

 

[Idiot Boxer]

How does this fat f'n #### have so much money if he works at the school?

He's not a teacher gb. I'm not sure what he does to be honest but his daily driver is a rolls royce and his wife is a cougar. I'm knocking out all my school work right now and then it's gonna be time to hang that number all over the place. Also you watching tomorrow's games anywhere?

Why not just tell doubleteam his wife?

 

[St. Louis Bob]

wife went to her school dance (teacher) on Saturday night, I'm up in Portland and couldn't go. This fat f'n ##### bag has made comments to her before testing the water if she would be down to have an affair with him. He even offered money at some point . So of course while I'm gone this ### comes up to her at the auction/dance and tests the water again. He introduces her to a Coast Guard guy and his wife knowing that I'm in the Coast Guard. They try to figure out if we know each other and don't so he asks to meet me, well the wife tells the Coastie that I'm out of town on response. ######## hears this and after the friend walks away tells her that with me out of town there is nothing keeping her from not going back to his house. This guy is married and loaded with cash and has muliple homes in the area. She said she instantly turned around and walked away without saying a word. Today she told her principal and the principal called the guy and told him to stop all contact with my wife. Evidently another teacher the year before had the same issue with this guy but didn't want a phone call made. So I just did some facebook searching and was able to pull his phone number off of there and am about to paste it at craigslist for all kinds of ####.

Some guy has been advancing on your wife continuously and you're going to post his number on Craigslist? It would take me all of 2 seconds to call that ##### and tell him we're going to have a serious disagreement if he ever talks to my wife again.

The guy is a 60 year old slob and not a threat as my wife is hot and happy with me, this guy is a mess http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=100000091986401

Have SLB make friends with him. He'll probably kick the bucket within a year.

#### you all.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

During my walk this morning my balls were getting itchy so I reached down to adjust and give a little tug. I then look to my left and there is some little old lady standing in her doorway a whole 15 feet away from me with a big smile on her face. About a mile later I had a booger issue and was just trying to clear a little airway as I walked and there was some gal standing behind a tree right next to me smoking a cig.

FML

 

[Gadzooks]

wife went to her school dance (teacher) on Saturday night, I'm up in Portland and couldn't go. This fat f'n ##### bag has made comments to her before testing the water if she would be down to have an affair with him. He even offered money at some point . So of course while I'm gone this ### comes up to her at the auction/dance and tests the water again. He introduces her to a Coast Guard guy and his wife knowing that I'm in the Coast Guard. They try to figure out if we know each other and don't so he asks to meet me, well the wife tells the Coastie that I'm out of town on response. ######## hears this and after the friend walks away tells her that with me out of town there is nothing keeping her from not going back to his house. This guy is married and loaded with cash and has muliple homes in the area. She said she instantly turned around and walked away without saying a word. Today she told her principal and the principal called the guy and told him to stop all contact with my wife. Evidently another teacher the year before had the same issue with this guy but didn't want a phone call made. So I just did some facebook searching and was able to pull his phone number off of there and am about to paste it at craigslist for all kinds of ####.

Some guy has been advancing on your wife continuously and you're going to post his number on Craigslist? It would take me all of 2 seconds to call that ##### and tell him we're going to have a serious disagreement if he ever talks to my wife again.

The guy is a 60 year old slob and not a threat as my wife is hot and happy with me, this guy is a mess http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=100000091986401

Have SLB make friends with him. He'll probably kick the bucket within a year.

I'm assuming SLB is probably related to Elizabeth Taylor.

 

[wadegarrett]

wife went to her school dance (teacher) on Saturday night, I'm up in Portland and couldn't go. This fat f'n ##### bag has made comments to her before testing the water if she would be down to have an affair with him. He even offered money at some point . So of course while I'm gone this ### comes up to her at the auction/dance and tests the water again. He introduces her to a Coast Guard guy and his wife knowing that I'm in the Coast Guard. They try to figure out if we know each other and don't so he asks to meet me, well the wife tells the Coastie that I'm out of town on response. ######## hears this and after the friend walks away tells her that with me out of town there is nothing keeping her from not going back to his house. This guy is married and loaded with cash and has muliple homes in the area. She said she instantly turned around and walked away without saying a word. Today she told her principal and the principal called the guy and told him to stop all contact with my wife. Evidently another teacher the year before had the same issue with this guy but didn't want a phone call made. So I just did some facebook searching and was able to pull his phone number off of there and am about to paste it at craigslist for all kinds of ####.

Some guy has been advancing on your wife continuously and you're going to post his number on Craigslist? It would take me all of 2 seconds to call that ##### and tell him we're going to have a serious disagreement if he ever talks to my wife again.

For a buddy's bachelor party, I posted his number on Craigslist in the "men for men" section. Hilarity ensued.

yeah, I could see this being a good time...definitely do it to Ted Reed

 

[Samuel L Bronkowitz]

Day 1 - Wednesday

Our flight was to leave at 5:30pm Central. So of course my best man (Josh) picked me up at 2:30 and we spent the better part of 2 hours in the airport bar. Once we boarded the plane and got to cruising altitude, the alcohol continued to flow. We were all pretty buzzed when we landed. It was about 7:00 Mountain. Josh had lined up a limo to take all 8 of us to the house we rented. Of course, we had to stop and get more booze. We couldn't let the cooler full of ice that the limo driver had gotten us go to waste. We picked up 2 cases of beer and drove around town for a bit before going to the house to settle in. It was about 9:00 or so.

The driver waited for us to get our stuff (including the remaining 6 beers ) into the house and said he would take us to a bar. He took us to a pretty nice area with a ton of hot chicks in skirts and high heels walking around. Well, here we are, 8 fat, blue-collar Midwest guys in shorts and dirty T-shirts. Unfortunately we weren't allowed in any of the bars due to our attire.

We told him to take us to a place that was a little more our style. So he takes us to some "biker bar" called Road Doggs or Dirty Doggs or something like that. It was fun. Bartenders were swinging from the rafters like trapeze artists. The swinging bartenders were cool for a while, but then it got a little boring and quickly became a sausage fest. Then Josh says to me, "This place is where strippers come to die. Let's get the hell out of here".

By this point we're all pretty tanked. So we cab it to a place called Coachouse I think. It's pretty tiny but there's a decent outside section where we can actually enjoy the 80 degree weather.

I'm wearing this shirt and on my way back from the bathroom, I hear "Hey guy, nice shirt"

I turn around and it's a Jesse James looking dude with a red bandana and a 6' 6" Goldberg looking dude, with two chicks. I laughed it off and started joking with them about my upcoming nuptials. Josh comes over and we continued BSing with them, and had a few shots with them. Here where it get crazy. I was hammered and figured these guys could get "things".

So I said to Bandana "Hey do you know where a guy can get some weed around here?"

Bandana – "<chuckle> Um, sorry bro, but I'm a Federal Agent for the ATF."

Chick 1 from the peanut gallery – "Do you even know who this is?!?!"

Me - :shuked: :facepalm:

But he was pretty cool about it. He laughed it off and said "You emmer effers smoking a bowl or two I don't care about. Head down to <rattled off a few bars> and you'll find anything you're looking for"

When we got back, one guy in our group said "I bet that was the guy who went undercover and took down the Hell's Angels." He had just watched some show on it not too long ago. So when we got back to the house at 3:00am we googled it. Sure enough, I had asked this guy for weed. He only took down the Hell's Angels from the inside. No wonder the chick yelled "Do you even know who this is?!?!" Boy was my face red.

That was night 1 with about 14 hours of drinking. It could only go down hill from there

 

[General Malaise]

SUBSCRIBE!!!!1

 

[RudiStein]

So when we got back to the house at 3:00am we googled it. Sure enough, I had asked this guy for weed. He only took down the Hell's Angels from the inside. No wonder the chick yelled "Do you even know who this is?!?!" Boy was my face red.

And since marijuana is neither alcohol, tobacco or a firearm I think Mr. Narco McNarcoson was wise to keep his trap shut.

 

[bostonfred]

I was totally kidding. I knew who you were the moment I saw you. Hey, man, I gotta run, but it was cool meeting you.

And can I get the names of those bars again?

 

[Thorn]

Day 1 - Wednesday

Our flight was to leave at 5:30pm Central. So of course my best man (Josh) picked me up at 2:30 and we spent the better part of 2 hours in the airport bar. Once we boarded the plane and got to cruising altitude, the alcohol continued to flow. We were all pretty buzzed when we landed. It was about 7:00 Mountain. Josh had lined up a limo to take all 8 of us to the house we rented. Of course, we had to stop and get more booze. We couldn't let the cooler full of ice that the limo driver had gotten us go to waste. We picked up 2 cases of beer and drove around town for a bit before going to the house to settle in. It was about 9:00 or so.

The driver waited for us to get our stuff (including the remaining 6 beers ) into the house and said he would take us to a bar. He took us to a pretty nice area with a ton of hot chicks in skirts and high heels walking around. Well, here we are, 8 fat, blue-collar Midwest guys in shorts and dirty T-shirts. Unfortunately we weren't allowed in any of the bars due to our attire.

We told him to take us to a place that was a little more our style. So he takes us to some "biker bar" called Road Doggs or Dirty Doggs or something like that. It was fun. Bartenders were swinging from the rafters like trapeze artists. The swinging bartenders were cool for a while, but then it got a little boring and quickly became a sausage fest. Then Josh says to me, "This place is where strippers come to die. Let's get the hell out of here".

By this point we're all pretty tanked. So we cab it to a place called Coachouse I think. It's pretty tiny but there's a decent outside section where we can actually enjoy the 80 degree weather.

I'm wearing this shirt and on my way back from the bathroom, I hear "Hey guy, nice shirt"

I turn around and it's a Jesse James looking dude with a red bandana and a 6' 6" Goldberg looking dude, with two chicks. I laughed it off and started joking with them about my upcoming nuptials. Josh comes over and we continued BSing with them, and had a few shots with them. Here where it get crazy. I was hammered and figured these guys could get "things".

So I said to Bandana "Hey do you know where a guy can get some weed around here?"

Bandana – "<chuckle> Um, sorry bro, but I'm a Federal Agent for the ATF."

Chick 1 from the peanut gallery – "Do you even know who this is?!?!"

Me - :shuked: :facepalm:

But he was pretty cool about it. He laughed it off and said "You emmer effers smoking a bowl or two I don't care about. Head down to <rattled off a few bars> and you'll find anything you're looking for"

When we got back, one guy in our group said "I bet that was the guy who went undercover and took down the Hell's Angels." He had just watched some show on it not too long ago. So when we got back to the house at 3:00am we googled it. Sure enough, I had asked this guy for weed. He only took down the Hell's Angels from the inside. No wonder the chick yelled "Do you even know who this is?!?!" Boy was my face red.

That was night 1 with about 14 hours of drinking. It could only go down hill from there

bonehead

 

[eoMMan]

So the guy was a snitch? You should have slapped the taste out his mouth.

 

[kevzilla]

Samuel, you have a rare and exciting talent. Never abuse it.

 

[RudiStein]

I've got a 3.5 hour long in-service meeting in a few minute. No idea what it is about but I think it has something to do with ESL kids. fml

 

[Shtaym Syek]

I've got a 3.5 hour long in-service meeting in a few minute. No idea what it is about but I think it has something to do with ESL kids. fml

Don't you mean mmv?

 

[mr. furley]

My youngest takes off all his clothes too. I've been able to coax him out of NOT doing it at public restrooms as it was very embarassing to see him close the stall and then watch layer after layer of clothing fall to the dirty floor below, but he still removes them all at home.

imagine how the other guys who walk in the bathroom feel when they see you standing there with a naked boy

 

[Gadzooks]

He only took down the Hell's Angels from the inside. No wonder the chick yelled "Do you even know who this is?!?!" Boy was my face red.

Hell's Angels is nothing to compared to 8 fat, blue collar Midwest guys in shorts and dirty T-shirts.

 

[Mr.Pack]

Day 1 - Wednesday

Our flight was to leave at 5:30pm Central. So of course my best man (Josh) picked me up at 2:30 and we spent the better part of 2 hours in the airport bar. Once we boarded the plane and got to cruising altitude, the alcohol continued to flow. We were all pretty buzzed when we landed. It was about 7:00 Mountain. Josh had lined up a limo to take all 8 of us to the house we rented. Of course, we had to stop and get more booze. We couldn't let the cooler full of ice that the limo driver had gotten us go to waste. We picked up 2 cases of beer and drove around town for a bit before going to the house to settle in. It was about 9:00 or so.

The driver waited for us to get our stuff (including the remaining 6 beers ) into the house and said he would take us to a bar. He took us to a pretty nice area with a ton of hot chicks in skirts and high heels walking around. Well, here we are, 8 fat, blue-collar Midwest guys in shorts and dirty T-shirts. Unfortunately we weren't allowed in any of the bars due to our attire.

We told him to take us to a place that was a little more our style. So he takes us to some "biker bar" called Road Doggs or Dirty Doggs or something like that. It was fun. Bartenders were swinging from the rafters like trapeze artists. The swinging bartenders were cool for a while, but then it got a little boring and quickly became a sausage fest. Then Josh says to me, "This place is where strippers come to die. Let's get the hell out of here".

By this point we're all pretty tanked. So we cab it to a place called Coachouse I think. It's pretty tiny but there's a decent outside section where we can actually enjoy the 80 degree weather.

I'm wearing this shirt and on my way back from the bathroom, I hear "Hey guy, nice shirt"

I turn around and it's a Jesse James looking dude with a red bandana and a 6' 6" Goldberg looking dude, with two chicks. I laughed it off and started joking with them about my upcoming nuptials. Josh comes over and we continued BSing with them, and had a few shots with them. Here where it get crazy. I was hammered and figured these guys could get "things".

So I said to Bandana "Hey do you know where a guy can get some weed around here?"

Bandana – "<chuckle> Um, sorry bro, but I'm a Federal Agent for the ATF."

Chick 1 from the peanut gallery – "Do you even know who this is?!?!"

Me - :shuked: :facepalm:

But he was pretty cool about it. He laughed it off and said "You emmer effers smoking a bowl or two I don't care about. Head down to <rattled off a few bars> and you'll find anything you're looking for"

When we got back, one guy in our group said "I bet that was the guy who went undercover and took down the Hell's Angels." He had just watched some show on it not too long ago. So when we got back to the house at 3:00am we googled it. Sure enough, I had asked this guy for weed. He only took down the Hell's Angels from the inside. No wonder the chick yelled "Do you even know who this is?!?!" Boy was my face red.

That was night 1 with about 14 hours of drinking. It could only go down hill from there

That's what I'm talking about

 

[Frostillicus]

I know everybody in this thread probably can't get enough of news like this, but I just got a phone call from one of my best friends going all the way back to college and one of the guys I was on a trip to chicago with this past weekend. His dad killed himself last night. His mom died when he was in high school from cancer. I have no idea what to do or say.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

I know everybody in this thread probably can't get enough of news like this, but I just got a phone call from one of my best friends going all the way back to college and one of the guys I was on a trip to chicago with this past weekend. His dad killed himself last night. His mom died when he was in high school from cancer. I have no idea what to do or say.

JFC I have no words, GB. :(

 

[CGRdrJoe]

I know everybody in this thread probably can't get enough of news like this, but I just got a phone call from one of my best friends going all the way back to college and one of the guys I was on a trip to chicago with this past weekend. His dad killed himself last night. His mom died when he was in high school from cancer. I have no idea what to do or say.

JFC I have no words, GB. :(

If slb doesn't advice then I highly doubt anyone else here will. In all seriousness just offer your condolences and let him know that you are always available to talk.

 

[[icon]]

So my mom had to be taken into the hospital for heart issues yesterday (stick with me... this isn't a downer story). Turns out she needed a couple stents. Fit as they come, 61yo woman. She'll be fine. Anyway, we go to leave and it's myself, my girl, and my pop. Well suddenly the "extra red pepper relish" from the Lenny's sub I had earlier in the day caught up with me and I was rapidly seeking a ####ter. Rather than dump in the in-room bathroom and force my ailing mother to bathe in my stench after I left, I took off down the hall and told my pop/gf I'd meet them at the elevator.

I finally find a bathroom in the nick of time and duck my head in. My first impression was "Wow... spotless. Gotta love hospital bathrooms" I dive into the only stall, wheelchair accessible so it was spacious to boot. No sooner do I get seated than my ### lets forth a shotgun blast of liquid/solid poo. It's one of those blasts where it takes you about 15 seconds to completely empty yourself into the bowl. Ahhh relief. As I'm feeling better I reach up under the TP dispenser to grab a good 5-6 sheets since this one is going to be messy.... air....reach up into the dispenser....nothing. I look through the charcoal-tinted lid and my worst nightmare is staring back at me... an empty roll.

####.

SO here I am in a public restroom in a very high traffic area (right by the elevator bank) at one of the larger hospitals in hte region... I might as well have shat myself thanks to all the backsplash, and i have no TP. There has GOT to be some paper towels, right? Only problem is, pulling up my pants to walk over to the dispenser is not an option due to the rather messy state i'm in... but the idea of walking out with my pants around my ankles into the common area of a public restroom is rather unpleasant as well.

I finally muster the courage, pull my pants up most of the way but am careful to not allow my ### to touch anything, and spring out the door. The mission is "Snatch & Retreat". I shuffle up to the sink and see a motion activated dispenser. Great. I wave frantically in front of the thing...nothing. I wave closer. (GRRRRRRR-CLICK) 3 inches of paper appear. You have got to be ####### kidding me. Apparently in an effort to cut costs this hospital is now doling out wet-nap sized sheets with each wave.

WAVEWAVEWAVE (GRRRRRRR-CLICK) WAVEWAVEWAVE (GRRRRRRR-CLICK).......#### are those footsteps outside the door?....... WAVEWAVEWAVE (GRRRRRRR-CLICK) WAVEWAVE (GRRRRRRR-CLICK). RIP...SHUFFLE SHUFFLE SHUFFLE... SLAM

Back to safety. I tear up the paper, clean up as best as I can, get out of the stall, wash up and return to the elevator.

GF: What took so long? Why are you sweating?

ME: You don't wanna know...let's get the hell out of here.

 

[Gadzooks]

So my mom had to be taken into the hospital for heart issues yesterday (stick with me... this isn't a downer story). Turns out she needed a couple stents. Fit as they come, 61yo woman. She'll be fine. Anyway, we go to leave and it's myself, my girl, and my pop. Well suddenly the "extra red pepper relish" from the Lenny's sub I had earlier in the day caught up with me and I was rapidly seeking a ####ter. Rather than dump in the in-room bathroom and force my ailing mother to bathe in my stench after I left, I took off down the hall and told my pop/gf I'd meet them at the elevator. I finally find a bathroom in the nick of time and duck my head in. My first impression was "Wow... spotless. Gotta love hospital bathrooms" I dive into the only stall, wheelchair accessible so it was spacious to boot. No sooner do I get seated than my ### lets forth a shotgun blast of liquid/solid poo. It's one of those blasts where it takes you about 15 seconds to completely empty yourself into the bowl. Ahhh relief. As I'm feeling better I reach up under the TP dispenser to grab a good 5-6 sheets since this one is going to be messy.... air....reach up into the dispenser....nothing. I look through the charcoal-tinted lid and my worst nightmare is staring back at me... an empty roll. ####. SO here I am in a public restroom in a very high traffic area (right by the elevator bank) at one of the larger hospitals in hte region... I might as well have shat myself thanks to all the backsplash, and i have no TP. There has GOT to be some paper towels, right? Only problem is, pulling up my pants to walk over to the dispenser is not an option due to the rather messy state i'm in... but the idea of walking out with my pants around my ankles into the common area of a public restroom is rather unpleasant as well. I finally muster the courage, pull my pants up most of the way but am careful to not allow my ### to touch anything, and spring out the door. The mission is "Snatch & Retreat". I shuffle up to the sink and see a motion activated dispenser. Great. I wave frantically in front of the thing...nothing. I wave closer. (GRRRRRRR-CLICK) 3 inches of paper appear. You have got to be ####### kidding me. Apparently in an effort to cut costs this hospital is now doling out wet-nap sized sheets with each wave. WAVEWAVEWAVE (GRRRRRRR-CLICK) WAVEWAVEWAVE (GRRRRRRR-CLICK).......#### are those footsteps outside the door?....... WAVEWAVEWAVE (GRRRRRRR-CLICK) WAVEWAVE (GRRRRRRR-CLICK). RIP...SHUFFLE SHUFFLE SHUFFLE... SLAMBack to safety. I tear up the paper, clean up as best as I can, get out of the stall, wash up and return to the elevator. GF: What took so long? Why are you sweating? ME: You don't wanna know...let's get the hell out of here.

If you don't mind, I'm going to share this story with my son. This is why he should not be getting completely naked when he goes poop. Thank you for this life lesson.

 

[Gadzooks]

I know everybody in this thread probably can't get enough of news like this, but I just got a phone call from one of my best friends going all the way back to college and one of the guys I was on a trip to chicago with this past weekend. His dad killed himself last night. His mom died when he was in high school from cancer. I have no idea what to do or say.

JFC I have no words, GB. :(

If slb doesn't advice then I highly doubt anyone else here will. In all seriousness just offer your condolences and let him know that you are always available to talk.

Ditto everything he said.Yikes, bad luck and death are spreading in this thread like... like.... something that spreads a lot. Anyone have any good news in here?

 

[NorvilleBarnes]

The guy is a 60 year old slob and not a threat as my wife is hot and happy with me, this guy is a mess http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=100000091986401

Friend request sent.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

lol

gb norville

 

[wadegarrett]

The guy is a 60 year old slob and not a threat as my wife is hot and happy with me, this guy is a mess http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=100000091986401

Friend request sent.

This could be good.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

I'm supposed to be cornholing with Shooter tonight. But so far we have no plans other than a generically stated cornhole. I don't even know when he gets in. Or if he's already here. This isn't a good start.

 

[YSR]

The guy is a 60 year old slob and not a threat as my wife is hot and happy with me, this guy is a mess http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=100000091986401

Friend request sent.

This could be good.

I'm like a 2 on that gay style guy's scale, but even so, might be better if I send one as a female. Also I love to Internet stalk (an art at which I am creepily good, apparently), so if you'd like any other info on this person, please PM me. TIAYICTHOPRAWISHES.

 

[[icon]]

Misfit if you were to click on my profile and just happen to see a phone number posted.....

Text message sent.

 

[[icon]]

if you'd like any other info on this person, please PM me.

EDIT: Personal Information about Doucebag & Wife Removed