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GM's thread about nothing (40 Viewers)

'Bogart said:
'General Malaise said:
'Bogart said:
We have to work "the full day", but I have checked out since 1:30.What should I do for the next 2 hours while pretending to work?
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We could recreate the 'wife rape' thread with emoticons. :unsure:
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I've spent three full minutes thinking about this. Don't think it could be done without a timeout.
'gamera said:
'Bogart said:
We have to work "the full day", but I have checked out since 1:30.What should I do for the next 2 hours while pretending to work?
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Pretty sure you're already doing it. :thumbup:
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I'm here while working. I'm looking to REALLY waste time. :thumbup: :thumbup:
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Assistant Coach forum? :bag:
 
Anyone else think that it was really inconsiderate to have a wedding on July 3rd? My flight leaves tomorrow morning at 7AM. I'm thinking about starting my drinking then and not stopping until I blackout sometime during the fireworks on July 4th.

 
'Idiot Boxer said:
'DA RAIDERS said:
'Idiot Boxer said:
Anybody ever have incredible stabbing pains in the back of their eyes? I have chronic sinus problems and allergies. These I can live with. Recently I've been getting these really bad stabbing pains...mostly directly behind my left eye. Ball cancer?
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Migraine? Light sensitivity, flashes of light? Dizzy? Vision blurred? Whatever you do, don't go to the doctor, let us do a complete diagnosis first.
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None of those things. Sinus headache and stabbing pain. That's it.Wouldn't dare go to a doctor until I get a full workup and chem panel here.
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i actually had the same symptoms last year and went to the eye doctor, he diagnosed it as something old people get, related to arthritis said it was unusual for me to have it at my age. Some kind of "itis" anyhow can't remember the name but it was inflammation of the eye socket and they prescribed eye drop steroids. Went away pretty quick.
 
'JbizzleMan said:
Anyone else think that it was really inconsiderate to have a wedding on July 3rd? My flight leaves tomorrow morning at 7AM. I'm thinking about starting my drinking then and not stopping until I blackout sometime during the fireworks on July 4th.
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Terrible time to schedule a wedding. I'd show up drunk with burns on my hands.
 
'General Malaise said:
About 12 years ago, the ex-Mrs. GM was the Maid of Honor for her childhood friend who was, like her new husband, devoutly religious. Both the wedding AND the reception were held in the church, with nary a drop of booze to be found. It was, without a doubt, the worst wedding experience I've ever had. The ceremony was excruciatingly long and the reception was my personal version of hell. To top it all off, I didn't know a soul there. I can usually work a room pretty well, but these people....they were like aliens. Nothing I said earned so much as a smile.
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This sounds identical to my brother-in-laws's wedding, except my experience might have been worse. The no alcohol, no dancing rules were bad enough, but I also had the unfortunate experience of being a groomsman. Now usually, I look at being a groomsman as an honor to stand with someone I am close to. In this case, I had met my BIL exactly one time before the wedding. And I was the NINTH groomsman. I had been dating his sister (now wife) for a little over two months at the time. Later I would find out that they expanded the bridal party by one on each side just so they could accommodate me. Thanks, dickmittens.Oh, and I should probably mention that the first time I met him was at his co-ed bridal shower.
 
'General Malaise said:
About 12 years ago, the ex-Mrs. GM was the Maid of Honor for her childhood friend who was, like her new husband, devoutly religious. Both the wedding AND the reception were held in the church, with nary a drop of booze to be found. It was, without a doubt, the worst wedding experience I've ever had. The ceremony was excruciatingly long and the reception was my personal version of hell. To top it all off, I didn't know a soul there. I can usually work a room pretty well, but these people....they were like aliens. Nothing I said earned so much as a smile. And to make matters even worse, I was battling a horrendous hangover from the night before, was oozing booze, dying for a drink and, oh yeah....my stomach was an absolute mess.

Midway through the reception, a violent storm hits my lower intestines and disaster is imminent. I rush to the only bathroom I can find and as I open the door, a flock of giggling little boys come darting out. Great, they probably pissed all over the seat or took a dump in the sink. Whatever, I gotta go. Well, I quickly realized what was so funny. These little turds locked all the bathroom stalls and slithered out underneath them. As the poo sweats trickled down my face, I knew there was no time to try and find a new bathroom in a strange church. So I had to army crawl my way through god knows what was on the bathroom floor under the stall door. As I'm about halfway through, another man walks in and says "OH MY GOD, ARE YOU OKAY?"....I guess he thought I was a dead body on the floor or something. I briefly answered him with an incoherent mumble, stood, turned, dropped and absolutely unloaded. I didn't even have time to inspect the seat, wipe it down or use an asssshat, which I do about 99.99999% of the time.

After I was done, I begged the ex to go home, but she had to stay for pictures. The poor dude who walked in behind me must have spotted me as he saw my clothes slinking under the stall and probably told his entire table about the destruction I brought to his ears, nose and church's toilet.
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Seriously? I've never understood the purpose of these. It's the back of your thighs and the outer rims of your ### cheeks. What do you think you're going to catch?
 
'Drifter said:
'General Malaise said:
About 12 years ago, the ex-Mrs. GM was the Maid of Honor for her childhood friend who was, like her new husband, devoutly religious. Both the wedding AND the reception were held in the church, with nary a drop of booze to be found. It was, without a doubt, the worst wedding experience I've ever had. The ceremony was excruciatingly long and the reception was my personal version of hell. To top it all off, I didn't know a soul there. I can usually work a room pretty well, but these people....they were like aliens. Nothing I said earned so much as a smile. And to make matters even worse, I was battling a horrendous hangover from the night before, was oozing booze, dying for a drink and, oh yeah....my stomach was an absolute mess.

Midway through the reception, a violent storm hits my lower intestines and disaster is imminent. I rush to the only bathroom I can find and as I open the door, a flock of giggling little boys come darting out. Great, they probably pissed all over the seat or took a dump in the sink. Whatever, I gotta go. Well, I quickly realized what was so funny. These little turds locked all the bathroom stalls and slithered out underneath them. As the poo sweats trickled down my face, I knew there was no time to try and find a new bathroom in a strange church. So I had to army crawl my way through god knows what was on the bathroom floor under the stall door. As I'm about halfway through, another man walks in and says "OH MY GOD, ARE YOU OKAY?"....I guess he thought I was a dead body on the floor or something. I briefly answered him with an incoherent mumble, stood, turned, dropped and absolutely unloaded. I didn't even have time to inspect the seat, wipe it down or use an asssshat, which I do about 99.99999% of the time.

After I was done, I begged the ex to go home, but she had to stay for pictures. The poor dude who walked in behind me must have spotted me as he saw my clothes slinking under the stall and probably told his entire table about the destruction I brought to his ears, nose and church's toilet.
Click to expand...
Seriously? I've never understood the purpose of these. It's the back of your thighs and the outer rims of your ### cheeks. What do you think you're going to catch?
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:X :eek:
 
'JbizzleMan said:
Anyone else think that it was really inconsiderate to have a wedding on July 3rd? My flight leaves tomorrow morning at 7AM. I'm thinking about starting my drinking then and not stopping until I blackout sometime during the fireworks on July 4th.
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yes. also if you are going to have a summer wedding, you damn well better pick a church and reception hall with some air conditioning. Don't think you're going to crack a couple windows and get away with it. I will not be made to stew in my own crack swamp juices. I'll go sit in the car for the rest of the ceremony. Don't test me. I'll do it.
 
'Sergeant Spelt said:
'JbizzleMan said:
Anyone else think that it was really inconsiderate to have a wedding on July 3rd? My flight leaves tomorrow morning at 7AM. I'm thinking about starting my drinking then and not stopping until I blackout sometime during the fireworks on July 4th.
Click to expand...
yes. also if you are going to have a summer wedding, you damn well better pick a church and reception hall with some air conditioning. Don't think you're going to crack a couple windows and get away with it. I will not be made to stew in my own crack swamp juices. I'll go sit in the car for the rest of the ceremony. Don't test me. I'll do it.
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:goodposting: It's in a #%#%### city too. 103 Degrees.
 
'JbizzleMan said:
'Drifter said:
'General Malaise said:
About 12 years ago, the ex-Mrs. GM was the Maid of Honor for her childhood friend who was, like her new husband, devoutly religious. Both the wedding AND the reception were held in the church, with nary a drop of booze to be found. It was, without a doubt, the worst wedding experience I've ever had. The ceremony was excruciatingly long and the reception was my personal version of hell. To top it all off, I didn't know a soul there. I can usually work a room pretty well, but these people....they were like aliens. Nothing I said earned so much as a smile. And to make matters even worse, I was battling a horrendous hangover from the night before, was oozing booze, dying for a drink and, oh yeah....my stomach was an absolute mess.

Midway through the reception, a violent storm hits my lower intestines and disaster is imminent. I rush to the only bathroom I can find and as I open the door, a flock of giggling little boys come darting out. Great, they probably pissed all over the seat or took a dump in the sink. Whatever, I gotta go. Well, I quickly realized what was so funny. These little turds locked all the bathroom stalls and slithered out underneath them. As the poo sweats trickled down my face, I knew there was no time to try and find a new bathroom in a strange church. So I had to army crawl my way through god knows what was on the bathroom floor under the stall door. As I'm about halfway through, another man walks in and says "OH MY GOD, ARE YOU OKAY?"....I guess he thought I was a dead body on the floor or something. I briefly answered him with an incoherent mumble, stood, turned, dropped and absolutely unloaded. I didn't even have time to inspect the seat, wipe it down or use an asssshat, which I do about 99.99999% of the time.

After I was done, I begged the ex to go home, but she had to stay for pictures. The poor dude who walked in behind me must have spotted me as he saw my clothes slinking under the stall and probably told his entire table about the destruction I brought to his ears, nose and church's toilet.
Click to expand...
Seriously? I've never understood the purpose of these. It's the back of your thighs and the outer rims of your ### cheeks. What do you think you're going to catch?
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:X :eek:
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I'm not talking wiping the seat. I'm talking the ### hat.
 
'mr. furley said:
'Steve Tasker said:
'Steve Tasker said:
'Steve Tasker said:
"DNA Will Prove You Got My 17 Year Old Pregnant"....classic MauryI miss being able to watch daytime TV now that I'm not in college anymore
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Andrea, 17, believes that Keenan, 18, is her baby's father. Audrey, Andrea's mother, thinks that Keenan is the baby's father because the baby "looks just like his ugly ###".
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He IS the father.
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love the play-by-play :lmao:
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:goodposting: This is good stuff. :lmao:Sorry your family's going all Bushnell, GBThorn.
 
'McJose said:
'jplvr said:
Back in high school, I went on the ski trip to Winter Park, Colorado. Guys on one side, girls on the other side of the large place, which resembled a cabin, but there were probably 200 of us there. Anyway, after dinner one night, I came back to my room to find a group gathered in the hall and I eventually figure out they are interested with something in the bathroom across the hall. There was a turd snaked up the drain of the toilet and in one, complete piece, it had at least 2 inches sticking above the surface of the water. Now, that might be the most impressive #2 I've ever seen, but what I can't get over in my mind is the fact there was ZERO toilet paper in the bowl with the masterpiece. I was at a wedding last summer and ran into a guy who was there and the topic eventually came up where I learned he thought it was me who was responsible. I'd be more than happy to take credit for something that impressive, but sadly, he was mistaken. I've never seen any copies, but people were taking pictures next to the bowl that night before the eventual flush.
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:lmao: I went to this really lame summer camp for a couple of weeks when I was about 10. One of the highlights of the session was this brown anaconda somebody left in one of the toilets. As word spread around groups of camps went to go check it out. Nobody was really sure who the owner was but eventually most of us suspected the one counselor that looked like Bruce Jenner's half-wit brother.
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:confused: Bruce Jenner looks like Bruce Jenner's half-wit brother.
 
'McJose said:
:lmao: at my wife and kids.Wife went to Fresh and Easy (which was her nickname back in HS btw) to grab a few things. They always have free samples at a station in the back. Usually they have some employee manning the station but when the wife went over nobody was there. They had some sample she wanted to try but she didn't want one of the larger portions so she takes one from the middle of the group. All of a sudden this crazy old sample lady comes up from behind and puts her hand on my wife's shoulder "Those are good, right? But next time could you do me a favor and take one of the samples from the front?"Although the wife doesn't have nearly the same problem I do with strangers touching her she's not really thrilled by this. So anyway she comes home and tells us "That crazy old bat at the Fresh and Easy sample station touched me!"Kid #1: OK...just remember that whatever happened was not your fault and I love you no matter what. Now you have to tell me exactly what happened.Kid #2: Do we need to get the doll out so you can show us exactly where she touched you?
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Awesome :lmao:
 
'jplvr said:
Back in high school, I went on the ski trip to Winter Park, Colorado. Guys on one side, girls on the other side of the large place, which resembled a cabin, but there were probably 200 of us there. Anyway, after dinner one night, I came back to my room to find a group gathered in the hall and I eventually figure out they are interested with something in the bathroom across the hall. There was a turd snaked up the drain of the toilet and in one, complete piece, it had at least 2 inches sticking above the surface of the water. Now, that might be the most impressive #2 I've ever seen, but what I can't get over in my mind is the fact there was ZERO toilet paper in the bowl with the masterpiece. I was at a wedding last summer and ran into a guy who was there and the topic eventually came up where I learned he thought it was me who was responsible. I'd be more than happy to take credit for something that impressive, but sadly, he was mistaken. I've never seen any copies, but people were taking pictures next to the bowl that night before the eventual flush.
Click to expand...
A few years back at a convention, we had to call the hotel maintence crew to snake out a poo with a vacuum b/c it had such girth and couldn't flush. I think someone has pictures somewhere
 
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'Fred Flintstone said:
'McJose said:
:lmao: at my wife and kids.Wife went to Fresh and Easy (which was her nickname back in HS btw) to grab a few things. They always have free samples at a station in the back. Usually they have some employee manning the station but when the wife went over nobody was there. They had some sample she wanted to try but she didn't want one of the larger portions so she takes one from the middle of the group. All of a sudden this crazy old sample lady comes up from behind and puts her hand on my wife's shoulder "Those are good, right? But next time could you do me a favor and take one of the samples from the front?"Although the wife doesn't have nearly the same problem I do with strangers touching her she's not really thrilled by this. So anyway she comes home and tells us "That crazy old bat at the Fresh and Easy sample station touched me!"Kid #1: OK...just remember that whatever happened was not your fault and I love you no matter what. Now you have to tell me exactly what happened.Kid #2: Do we need to get the doll out so you can show us exactly where she touched you?
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Awesome :lmao:
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JFC. That's awesome. :lmao:
 
Been laying low the past few weeks. Crazy schedule at work. Our biggest customer, whom we are losing (or they are losing us, depending on how you look at it) at the end of July, ships an insane volume of freight during the end of a quarter. It is the ultimate "hockey stick" scenario if you will. For the past 11 years I've missed March, June, September and December because of this. To give you an example, I have buried 3 close people in my life, and had to return to work immediately after due to the nature of our business. I haven't been able to celebrate my birthday, I've missed family Christmas functions, I've lost girlfriends, I've gained and lost weight and had a few nervous breadowns, all due to this customer.

Today was the final day of shipping for Q2. My 44th quarter close. I'm pretty sure I've pushed 90 hours per week during the last 2 weeks of a quarter for 7 or so years now. Don't get me wrong, it's a good problem to have and I'm happy to have it.

It's one thing to provide great customer service, it's another thing when the customer takes advantage of that and pushes you to the brink. But damn it feels good to be rid of the evil empire. I've been unhappy at my job for about 7 years now. For some reason tonight, when I walked out the door, I had a strange sense of something I haven't felt in a long time...happiness.

:banned:

 
'shamwow! said:
Been laying low the past few weeks. Crazy schedule at work. Our biggest customer, whom we are losing (or they are losing us, depending on how you look at it) at the end of July, ships an insane volume of freight during the end of a quarter. It is the ultimate "hockey stick" scenario if you will. For the past 11 years I've missed March, June, September and December because of this. To give you an example, I have buried 3 close people in my life, and had to return to work immediately after due to the nature of our business. I haven't been able to celebrate my birthday, I've missed family Christmas functions, I've lost girlfriends, I've gained and lost weight and had a few nervous breadowns, all due to this customer.Today was the final day of shipping for Q2. My 44th quarter close. I'm pretty sure I've pushed 90 hours per week during the last 2 weeks of a quarter for 7 or so years now. Don't get me wrong, it's a good problem to have and I'm happy to have it.It's one thing to provide great customer service, it's another thing when the customer takes advantage of that and pushes you to the brink. But damn it feels good to be rid of the evil empire. I've been unhappy at my job for about 7 years now. For some reason tonight, when I walked out the door, I had a strange sense of something I haven't felt in a long time...happiness. :banned:
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Except for the names and few other changes, if you talk about my marriage, the story's the same one.
 
Any Austin guys in here, shoot me a PM. I got final inspection on my kitchen and I am going to host a few dinner parties to make sure we get the operational flow down and work all the kinks out, before I bring in any residents. I'd be happy to fix you a meal, pour you some wine or booze and show you my new retirement home digs.

 
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'cosjobs said:
Any Austin guys in here, shoot me a PM. I got final inspection on my kitchen and I am going to host a few dinner parties to make sure we get the operational flow down and work all the kinks out, before I bring in any residents. I'd be happy to fix you a meal, pour you some wine or booze and show you my new retirement home digs.
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LINK
 
'cosjobs said:
Any Austin guys in here, shoot me a PM. I got final inspection on my kitchen and I am going to host a few dinner parties to make sure we get the operational flow down and work all the kinks out, before I bring in any residents. I'd be happy to fix you a meal, pour you some wine or booze and show you my new retirement home digs.
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When is GM moving in?
 
'Chaos Commish said:
'shamwow! said:
Been laying low the past few weeks. Crazy schedule at work. Our biggest customer, whom we are losing (or they are losing us, depending on how you look at it) at the end of July, ships an insane volume of freight during the end of a quarter. It is the ultimate "hockey stick" scenario if you will. For the past 11 years I've missed March, June, September and December because of this. To give you an example, I have buried 3 close people in my life, and had to return to work immediately after due to the nature of our business. I haven't been able to celebrate my birthday, I've missed family Christmas functions, I've lost girlfriends, I've gained and lost weight and had a few nervous breadowns, all due to this customer.

Today was the final day of shipping for Q2. My 44th quarter close. I'm pretty sure I've pushed 90 hours per week during the last 2 weeks of a quarter for 7 or so years now. Don't get me wrong, it's a good problem to have and I'm happy to have it.

It's one thing to provide great customer service, it's another thing when the customer takes advantage of that and pushes you to the brink. But damn it feels good to be rid of the evil empire. I've been unhappy at my job for about 7 years now. For some reason tonight, when I walked out the door, I had a strange sense of something I haven't felt in a long time...happiness.

:banned:
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Except for the names and few other changes, if you talk about my marriage, the story's the same one.
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:excited: :bow:
 
'Leeroy Jenkins said:
'Chaos Commish said:
'Leeroy Jenkins said:
She's way into organic, fresh food etc. Know of anything like that?
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I gave you an quality link for organic Mexican. La Sirena in El Segundo. She'll love it. There's excellent farmers markets close by every day of the week. I eat at them all the time because I deliver produce to them all the time. I think they're a kick but maybe I'm strange. There's a couple world reknowned on the weekends, Santa Monica and Hollywood, if you're interested. They're not much better than a few others near you. If I was in the South Bay I doubt I would bother, and I'm an organic local fresh food junkie. If you're interested in grabbing some healthy fresh grub for the room or the beach let me know which day you'll be where and I can decipher that schedule for a tourist. I can probably direct you to my very own homegrown heirloom tomatoes which are selling in LA to the tune of a ton a week right now.There is a great (supposedly) all organic grassfed burger joint around there. I haven't been, but I've been meaning to because of the reviews. Need to look it up -- sorry, cannot find it. A bunch in WLA but didn't see the one I've been hearing about. Ugh, my aging brain.

Here's a decent way to beat the madness of crowds (I hate them maybe you don't) for a nice South Bay day with your gal on a holiday weekend. I'm sure Sonny can patch this up. Hit the Torrance or PV (or Santa Monica) farmer's market early in the morning Sat or Sun. Stock up on some healthy picnic grub. There will be artisan cheeses breads and every organic fruit and veggie imaginable. Toss in a good bottle of wine or whatever you might enjoy. Then head for the ocean front edge of the PV peninsula, get past the main housing developments, and hit one of the hiking trails not named Shipwreck. Wayfarer's Chapel (xgf used to attend for the views not the religion) is a beautiful spot and has some trails that lead to amazing views. Portuguese Bend used to lead to a pretty quiet beach for a picnic. Sonny, you know what I'm getting at. Help before I give away your secret break. :lol:
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Many thanks! I went back through and found your original post, but didn't have time to reply. I told her I found an organic Mexican joint a short cab ride away and she's pretty excited. Her cousin lives in west Hollywood and we are staying with him a few mitts and I have a couple friends in hermosa, so I think our schedule is going to be pretty packed!
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BTW, you guys should try to get into "the club". Need to know a member or maybe grease the bouncer at the downstairs martini bar and go up the stairs in back. Have your bird give the out-of-town story. It's across from Muchos, a high-end Mex joint in Manhattan on 9th. It's a private club called The 900 Club. Your boys will know. Basically a bar/restaurant/smoking joint with a pool table, fire place, cigar room, lounge that stays open after hours -- only one that does. Fun place to close out the night. Or go to the bathroom 50 times until the sun comes up. Walking distance to Shade. See you there?!
 
I've just had a certain FBG ask me for another FBG's phone number because "it's going to be one of those nights". :popcorn:

 
Working on my kitchen sink this afternoon. Why are women inside the Home Depot at least one full point hotter than they would be outside Home Depot? And why are the hot dogs from the stand outside the Home Depot the best tasting things in the world? Brat with grilled onions and spicy mustard FTW.

 
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