GM's thread about nothing (43 Viewers)

[mr. furley]

is Righetti dead?

Even in death he'll update that blog.

looks like i should held on to the old blog (shuke> hey). i could have been turning money analyzing Holmes on Homes.

 

[Chaos Commish]

Mugging someone with his pants down in order to commandeer his tie is hardly an exchange.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

is Righetti dead?

Even in death he'll update that blog.

looks like i should held on to the old blog (shuke> hey). i could have been turning money analyzing Holmes on Homes.

"That wasn't in the report..". :strernglance:

 

[tommyboy]

Meanwhile, my fellow Oregonians put their heads together and have figured out the best way to kill an animal I've never heard of before. Tanner and Truck are still using alias accounts that I recognize, so they must have played nice over the weekend. Thorn sent out a text message that didn't go over too well with the normally mild mannered and fun loving SLB. Mrs. BSR is short maple syrup.

a rockchuck is slang i guess for a type of marmot: http://www.critterzone.com/animal-pictures-nature/stock-photos/rock-chuck-mouth-open-AWMA061707-020.jpgthey live mostly on the east side of the state, they like grass and rocks.

Mrs BSR. the best maple syrup you can buy in the West is at Trader Joes: http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Dwex9AQ8IuA/Szp9A2TGfTI/AAAAAAAAQio/yEAA1gjXKrg/s400/maple-grade-b-trader-joes.jpg

its a large bottle, but its canadian and its fantastic. Otherwise maple syrup in the west sucks balls.

 

[Gadzooks]

frost i need your number stat

Thorn cannot receive new messages.

Thorn, here: 6518675309I will be deleting that shortly.

got it

AwesomeFrosty can post Amanda H's digits and then delete them shortly?

 

[Gadzooks]

Who the #### uses an alias on Facebook

I do. Please delete.I have hundreds of clients and I would prefer for them to not know I'm on FB or here for that matter. Thanks GB.

if you didn't use a fake name on fb none of this ever would have happened

That text you sent last night didn't go over so well. Apparently it wouldn't have been a big deal but she doesn't know you. Makes no sense. Just half an hour earlier I asked Mrs. SLB who some chick was on FB was sending me a friend request. Then I made the mistake of telling her that several girls that are FOF's have sent me friend requests but I ignored them. I'm sure that helped.I got my finger on the button here people.

So then the solution is I should get to know her? In all seriousness I'm sorry GB. Creating angry wives was not my intent.

That text went over great here. I used enjoyed it.

 

[Drifter]

Saturday night at Salty's on Alki Beach, the drinks are flowing, the weather is perfect, the weekend was sublime and the only human being with more alcohol coursing through their body than me was my little sister, who is kind of going through a little rough patch in life. The guy getting married is an old friend of mine that I haven't seen in several years, but the two of us used to laugh so hard when we got together that our sides would hurt the next day. He told my wife on Friday that whatever leash she kept me on needed to be let out for Saturday. She laughed at him and said "You must have me confused with his last wife!"

So the expectation of my friend was that GM needed to be wound up and set free. Considering the fact that I was absent any children and wasn't going anywhere near a vehicle, I decided to endear myself to the bartenders and wanted to make sure all the spirits and beverages received the Malaise love. After a nice meal and a nice smoke, the sun began to set and the old boy from Portland began to par-TAY! :getdown:

There's some fuzzy moments, but recollections are there and thankfully, my lovely bride has reinforced their existence in my brain. Her personal favorite memory was talking to another woman she had just met that night on the perimeter of the dance floor. The lady she was talking to broke up their conversation, pointed in the general direction of a man with a stranger's tie on his head, his shirt unbuttoned to his navel and a white, origami flower made out of a napkin in his shirt pocket. She said to my wife "Oh my god, look at that guy! Is he doing The Sprinkler?"....to which my wife had to respond to her "uh, wow...that's my husband". The lady patted her on the back and just walked away.

I guess I had a tie exchange with some dude in the bathroom, but for some reason, I came home with BOTH ties in my suit pocket. Not sure how that worked. My sister gave up the ghost early on. She had her head down on the table by 10pm and was passed out cold. The bus took us back to downtown Seattle where we took a cab to my friend's house in Green Lake at 1am. I realized when we got back that I was still hungry, so I took my wife with me and we went to Safeway down the street. There, I bought sushi and pistachios and tore into them back at my friend's house. I also mixed a mimosa. Slap it high?

This is twice now you have been within a couple miles of my house. I realize that both times you had other obligations but I want you to be aware that I'm counting

 

[Chaos Commish]

Drifter> are you the guy that makes his own cheese and boasts about how great it is? If so, it appears I have time to learn something like this and nothing better to do. What do I need? Milk, rennet, some sort of special ordered microcritters? tia

 

[General Malaise]

Saturday night at Salty's on Alki Beach, the drinks are flowing, the weather is perfect, the weekend was sublime and the only human being with more alcohol coursing through their body than me was my little sister, who is kind of going through a little rough patch in life. The guy getting married is an old friend of mine that I haven't seen in several years, but the two of us used to laugh so hard when we got together that our sides would hurt the next day. He told my wife on Friday that whatever leash she kept me on needed to be let out for Saturday. She laughed at him and said "You must have me confused with his last wife!"

So the expectation of my friend was that GM needed to be wound up and set free. Considering the fact that I was absent any children and wasn't going anywhere near a vehicle, I decided to endear myself to the bartenders and wanted to make sure all the spirits and beverages received the Malaise love. After a nice meal and a nice smoke, the sun began to set and the old boy from Portland began to par-TAY! :getdown:

There's some fuzzy moments, but recollections are there and thankfully, my lovely bride has reinforced their existence in my brain. Her personal favorite memory was talking to another woman she had just met that night on the perimeter of the dance floor. The lady she was talking to broke up their conversation, pointed in the general direction of a man with a stranger's tie on his head, his shirt unbuttoned to his navel and a white, origami flower made out of a napkin in his shirt pocket. She said to my wife "Oh my god, look at that guy! Is he doing The Sprinkler?"....to which my wife had to respond to her "uh, wow...that's my husband". The lady patted her on the back and just walked away.

I guess I had a tie exchange with some dude in the bathroom, but for some reason, I came home with BOTH ties in my suit pocket. Not sure how that worked. My sister gave up the ghost early on. She had her head down on the table by 10pm and was passed out cold. The bus took us back to downtown Seattle where we took a cab to my friend's house in Green Lake at 1am. I realized when we got back that I was still hungry, so I took my wife with me and we went to Safeway down the street. There, I bought sushi and pistachios and tore into them back at my friend's house. I also mixed a mimosa. Slap it high?

This is twice now you have been within a couple miles of my house. I realize that both times you had other obligations but I want you to be aware that I'm counting

 

[Drifter]

Drifter> are you the guy that makes his own cheese and boasts about how great it is? If so, it appears I have time to learn something like this and nothing better to do. What do I need? Milk, rennet, some sort of special ordered microcritters? tia

Don't think so. I've dabbled in cheese making but I don't think I've really posted about it here. Mozzarella is fairly easy and quick and yes, you just need rennet and citric acid in addition to stuff like a thermometer. Raw milk is also the way to go if you have access.

 

[Frostillicus]

frost i need your number stat

Thorn cannot receive new messages.

Thorn, here: 6518675309I will be deleting that shortly.

got it

AwesomeFrosty can post Amanda H's digits and then delete them shortly?

651-867-5309

 

[McJose]

Harry Potter is read primarily by 10yo kids, right? Why has anyone over 20 read it and why are so many adults in this thread going to see these movies?

Back when the first book came out/the craze started a lot of my students were into it. I figured I had better check it out. 2 or 3 chapters in and couldn't take any more.

 

[Gadzooks]

frost i need your number stat

Thorn cannot receive new messages.

Thorn, here: 6518675309I will be deleting that shortly.

got it

AwesomeFrosty can post Amanda H's digits and then delete them shortly?

651-867-5309

got it

 

[McJose]

I don't know how to find the TED thread (3 letters) so I'll stick this hear.

Three things I learned while my plane crashed - TED 2011

My wife is doing some catering for some of the TED people. It's not for one of the actual "talks" or whatever but some sort of presentation in Fresno.

 

[McJose]

Brought my dog to the Petsmart Doggie Day Camp as he goes on a regular basis. One of the doggie "moms" celebrated her dog's birthday by buying the overpriced $4 treats for all the dogs. Actually a very nice gesture and I'm sure my dog enjoyed it. I go to pick him up and....Petsmart employee: "Sampson was great today. And one of the dog owners bought treats for all the dogs today since it was their dog's birthday"Me: "We don't give my dog treats and he has all kinds of food sensitivities including nuts. I never signed a permission form. This would never happen at my son's school"Petsmart employee: "Umm.........(long pause)"Me: "I'm just kidding. Thanks, I'm sure he loved it!"Petsmart employee (with a look of relief and confusion rolled into one): "You're welcome"

 

[General Malaise]

Who the #### uses an alias on Facebook

I do. Please delete.I have hundreds of clients and I would prefer for them to not know I'm on FB or here for that matter. Thanks GB.

if you didn't use a fake name on fb none of this ever would have happened

That text you sent last night didn't go over so well. Apparently it wouldn't have been a big deal but she doesn't know you. Makes no sense. Just half an hour earlier I asked Mrs. SLB who some chick was on FB was sending me a friend request. Then I made the mistake of telling her that several girls that are FOF's have sent me friend requests but I ignored them. I'm sure that helped.I got my finger on the button here people.

So then the solution is I should get to know her? In all seriousness I'm sorry GB. Creating angry wives was not my intent.

That text went over great here. I used enjoyed it.

All 7 letters, mofro.

 

[General Malaise]

Harry Potter is read primarily by 10yo kids, right? Why has anyone over 20 read it and why are so many adults in this thread going to see these movies?

Back when the first book came out/the craze started a lot of my students were into it. I figured I had better check it out. 2 or 3 chapters in and couldn't take any more.

Probably because you are a grown up.

 

[McJose]

Harry Potter is read primarily by 10yo kids, right? Why has anyone over 20 read it and why are so many adults in this thread going to see these movies?

Back when the first book came out/the craze started a lot of my students were into it. I figured I had better check it out. 2 or 3 chapters in and couldn't take any more.

Probably because you are a grown up.

Not according to my wife.

 

[Idiot Boxer]

I read the entire Harry Potter series over a blueberry triple stack.

 

[McJose]

Speaking of my wife...

She cracks me up sometimes. Intentionally and unintentionally.

Today I went with her to the doctor (don't ask). I was flipping through Reader's Digest and saw a photo of a dog catching a Frisbee. The dog only had three legs. So I showed it to my wife:

Me: Look, that dog only has 3 legs.

Her: (looking at the photo) One of those is a penis.

Me: What?

Her: A penis.

Me: It's missing a leg. It only has 3 legs.

Her: Oh, nevermind.

Me: What the hell is wrong with you?

Her: Forget it.

And then last week in Vegas. We basicaly go there to do 3 things: Drink, gamble, and have sex. Not always in that order.

So we're eating at this pub and she points out something on the drink menu.

Her: They have something called an Irish Tea Bag.

Me: What is that? They have some drunk guy come over and sit on your face?

Her: Yeah, that's probably going to happen later on anyway.

 

[Gadzooks]

All 7 letters, mofro.

:golfclap: It's a marathon not a sprint.

 

[Disco Stu]

I guess I had a tie exchange with some dude in the bathroom, but for some reason, I came home with BOTH ties in my suit pocket. Not sure how that worked.

PM Wet Dream.

 

[JerseyToughGuys]

Speaking of my wife...She cracks me up sometimes. Intentionally and unintentionally.Today I went with her to the doctor (don't ask). I was flipping through Reader's Digest and saw a photo of a dog catching a Frisbee. The dog only had three legs. So I showed it to my wife:Me: Look, that dog only has 3 legs.Her: (looking at the photo) One of those is a penis.Me: What?Her: A penis.Me: It's missing a leg. It only has 3 legs.Her: Oh, nevermind. Me: What the hell is wrong with you?Her: Forget it.And then last week in Vegas. We basicaly go there to do 3 things: Drink, gamble, and have sex. Not always in that order.So we're eating at this pub and she points out something on the drink menu.Her: They have something called an Irish Tea Bag.Me: What is that? They have some drunk guy come over and sit on your face?Her: Yeah, that's probably going to happen later on anyway.

hfslol

 

[Gadzooks]

And then last week in Vegas. We basicaly go there to do 3 things: Drink, gamble, and have sex.

So if she's drunk and loses a bet, she'll have sex with you?

 

[McJose]

And then last week in Vegas. We basicaly go there to do 3 things: Drink, gamble, and have sex.

So if she's drunk and loses a bet, she'll have sex with you?

Pretty much.

 

[urbanhack]

And then last week in Vegas. We basicaly go there to do 3 things: Drink, gamble, and have sex.

So if she's drunk and loses a bet, she'll have sex with you?

Pretty much.

PICS?

 

[gianmarco]

Speaking of my wife...She cracks me up sometimes. Intentionally and unintentionally.Today I went with her to the doctor (don't ask). I was flipping through Reader's Digest and saw a photo of a dog catching a Frisbee. The dog only had three legs. So I showed it to my wife:Me: Look, that dog only has 3 legs.Her: (looking at the photo) One of those is a penis.Me: What?Her: A penis.Me: It's missing a leg. It only has 3 legs.Her: Oh, nevermind. Me: What the hell is wrong with you?Her: Forget it.And then last week in Vegas. We basicaly go there to do 3 things: Drink, gamble, and have sex. Not always in that order.So we're eating at this pub and she points out something on the drink menu.Her: They have something called an Irish Tea Bag.Me: What is that? They have some drunk guy come over and sit on your face?Her: Yeah, that's probably going to happen later on anyway.

My wife can say some equally stupid #### sometimes. It's funny to me considering how smart she is.We head to the Noodle Company to grab a quick dinner. My wife had a long day at work and was pretty tired. I see her staring at the menu while the guy is waiting to take our order. I've already put mine in. Then this beauty flies out:Mrs. GM: "In the Mediterranean Salad, is the chicken cooked?"Cashier dude: "Umm, yes ma'am"Me: I later found out the translation of that question was if it was breaded or fried. This was about 10 minutes later when I stopped laughing. The cashier dude was awesome. Completely serious without a smile when answering her question until she turned away and I looked back at him and smiled while shaking my head.

 

[Gadzooks]

And then last week in Vegas. We basicaly go there to do 3 things: Drink, gamble, and have sex.

So if she's drunk and loses a bet, she'll have sex with you?

Pretty much.

Suppose she was drunk, high, blindfolded, blackmailed, loses a bet and lowered her expectations...... would I have a shot?

 

[Chaos Commish]

Speaking of my wife...She cracks me up sometimes. Intentionally and unintentionally.Today I went with her to the doctor (don't ask). I was flipping through Reader's Digest and saw a photo of a dog catching a Frisbee. The dog only had three legs. So I showed it to my wife:Me: Look, that dog only has 3 legs.Her: (looking at the photo) One of those is a penis.Me: What?Her: A penis.Me: It's missing a leg. It only has 3 legs.Her: Oh, nevermind. Me: What the hell is wrong with you?Her: Forget it.And then last week in Vegas. We basicaly go there to do 3 things: Drink, gamble, and have sex. Not always in that order.So we're eating at this pub and she points out something on the drink menu.Her: They have something called an Irish Tea Bag.Me: What is that? They have some drunk guy come over and sit on your face?Her: Yeah, that's probably going to happen later on anyway.

hfslol

Still as charming and useful as she seems, I still don't want to be married.

 

[Steve Tasker]

Maury update: Shannon (a black woman) is on the show to prove to Joe (a black man) that he is the father of 1-year old Mikell. Mikell is light-skinned and has blue eyes.

Joe is convinced that Tom Anderson, the creator of Myspace, this guy, is the father. Joe is convinced this because he looked up Shannon's Myspace page and saw that her only white friend was Tom.

 

[Steve Tasker]

Joe: "the only people I know with blue eyes are white guys. HELLO? I'm not white!"

 

[Steve Tasker]

Maury reveals a picture of Tom Anderson to Joe.

Joe: "There's daddy!"

In the case of 1-year old Mikell...Joe IS the father.

 

[Steve Tasker]

Are you addicted to eating non-edible household items? If so, please call 1-888-45-MAURY.

 

[urbanhack]

please stop

 

[Steve Tasker]

please stop

Done

 

[General Malaise]

Maury update: Shannon (a black woman) is on the show to prove to Joe (a black man) that he is the father of 1-year old Mikell. Mikell is light-skinned and has blue eyes.

Joe is convinced that Tom Anderson, the creator of Myspace, this guy, is the father. Joe is convinced this because he looked up Shannon's Myspace page and saw that her only white friend was Tom.

 

[General Malaise]

please stop

I love these.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

BTW, SLB> it's a breach of FB etiquette to post on someone's wall about their kickworm before they make an announcement on FB notifying the general world at-large of said kickworm.

I was just joking but she didn't deny it did she? I deleted said post.

YSR, don't use this one.Use this one.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

August is shaping up to be a legendary cornhole month.....wow.

There may be a problem. Mrs. SLB asked me months ago to secure supervision for the temporary abandonment of our kids that weekend and I failed to do so. I thought she was taking care of it but hey, being at the pool all summer is hot, grueling work. My parents are heading to Chicago themselves the same weekend so that is out. So that only leaves my SIL & BIL. :(

http://youtu.be/PIdNNCEoAPI

I hope so. This summer has kind of been the suck.

 

[YSR]

Maury update: Shannon (a black woman) is on the show to prove to Joe (a black man) that he is the father of 1-year old Mikell. Mikell is light-skinned and has blue eyes.

Joe is convinced that Tom Anderson, the creator of Myspace, this guy, is the father. Joe is convinced this because he looked up Shannon's Myspace page and saw that her only white friend was Tom.

This really caught me off guard and I giggled like a crazy person the entire time I was in the grocery store just now.

 

[EYLive]

Maury update: Shannon (a black woman) is on the show to prove to Joe (a black man) that he is the father of 1-year old Mikell. Mikell is light-skinned and has blue eyes.

Joe is convinced that Tom Anderson, the creator of Myspace, this guy, is the father. Joe is convinced this because he looked up Shannon's Myspace page and saw that her only white friend was Tom.

 

[YSR]

BTW, SLB> it's a breach of FB etiquette to post on someone's wall about their kickworm before they make an announcement on FB notifying the general world at-large of said kickworm.

I was just joking but she didn't deny it did she? I deleted said post.

YSR, don't use this one.Use this one.

Decidedly unpregnant. Sorry. :(

 

[St. Louis Bob]

LOOK AT ME MY PENIS IS THE SIZE OF A DOG'S LEG!!!!

 

[St. Louis Bob]

BTW, SLB> it's a breach of FB etiquette to post on someone's wall about their kickworm before they make an announcement on FB notifying the general world at-large of said kickworm.

I was just joking but she didn't deny it did she? I deleted said post.

YSR, don't use this one.Use this one.

Decidedly unpregnant. Sorry. :(

Let me know if I should get the vasectomy reversed.

 

[McJose]

LOOK AT ME MY PENIS IS THE SIZE OF A DOG'S LEG!!!!

Am I the only one that never even considered this going in this direction?

 

[Sonny Lubick Blowup Doll]

I don't wanna work...

My kid is at camp.

I don't have to work for at least another week or two, even three maybe.

My exboss has a spare room on Kauai, north shore, Tunnels.

Sonny, where for art thou?

Round trip leaving tonight and coming home Friday is $500 on American w/ 25% coupon.

Why for may not I go.

My sisters force fed my diabetic going blind mom on me because I am a single dad and grandma is like a great substitue mom (not), but she cannot be alone for a week so I am babysitting my mom instead of #### ### fun, and god knows none of them would want to see after their own mother.

Maybe I'm a jerk.

I want to bang on the drum all day...

That is a GREAT spot, seriously doesn't get better, and not just on Kauai. Haena's killer and Tunnels is probly the nicest beach there (or Ke'e), which is saying something. Good snorkeling right out front this time of year with lots of turtles. Speaking of which, it's also where Bethany survived that tiger shark attack (they just did some movie about), losing an arm. Also the best trail (Kalalau) you'll probly ever get to hike nearby on the Na Pali coast.Excellent airfare too, what are you thinking??? F your mom.

 

[Good Posting Judge]

I don't wanna work...

My kid is at camp.

I don't have to work for at least another week or two, even three maybe.

My exboss has a spare room on Kauai, north shore, Tunnels.

Sonny, where for art thou?

Round trip leaving tonight and coming home Friday is $500 on American w/ 25% coupon.

Why for may not I go.

My sisters force fed my diabetic going blind mom on me because I am a single dad and grandma is like a great substitue mom (not), but she cannot be alone for a week so I am babysitting my mom instead of #### ### fun, and god knows none of them would want to see after their own mother.

Maybe I'm a jerk.

I want to bang on the drum all day...

That is a GREAT spot, seriously doesn't get better, and not just on Kauai. Haena's killer and Tunnels is probly the nicest beach there (or Ke'e), which is saying something. Good snorkeling right out front this time of year with lots of turtles. Speaking of which, it's also where Bethany survived that tiger shark attack (they just did some movie about), losing an arm. Also the best trail (Kalalau) you'll probly ever get to hike nearby on the Na Pali coast.Excellent airfare too, what are you thinking??? F your mom.

I bet that movie makes the shark look like the bad guy.

 

[mr. furley]

please stop

I love these.

 

[Good Posting Judge]

please stop

I love these.

 

[Chaos Commish]

I don't wanna work...

My kid is at camp.

I don't have to work for at least another week or two, even three maybe.

My exboss has a spare room on Kauai, north shore, Tunnels.

Sonny, where for art thou?

Round trip leaving tonight and coming home Friday is $500 on American w/ 25% coupon.

Why for may not I go.

My sisters force fed my diabetic going blind mom on me because I am a single dad and grandma is like a great substitue mom (not), but she cannot be alone for a week so I am babysitting my mom instead of #### ### fun, and god knows none of them would want to see after their own mother.

Maybe I'm a jerk.

I want to bang on the drum all day...

That is a GREAT spot, seriously doesn't get better, and not just on Kauai. Haena's killer and Tunnels is probly the nicest beach there (or Ke'e), which is saying something. Good snorkeling right out front this time of year with lots of turtles. Speaking of which, it's also where Bethany survived that tiger shark attack (they just did some movie about), losing an arm. Also the best trail (Kalalau) you'll probly ever get to hike nearby on the Na Pali coast.Excellent airfare too, what are you thinking??? F your mom.

When you're right, you're right. F my mom. Ticket purchased. Departs 4:38 manana. Earliest I could go. This spare room sounds fun. It was a laundry room, but the owner pulled the washer and dryer and set them outside on a deck so he could fit a single bed in their spot. Sounds perfect. I don't care. I've got Maui and the Big Island wired, but I've only spent a few days on Kauai, so this had to be done. F my mom!

The mess this became wasn't funny. I never post personal pics online after learning harsh privacy lessons over a decade ago, but I will make an exception here. This is me and mom in happier times just a few short months ago. How could anybody deliberately hurt that sweet old lady? Who could do that? Who would make her cry for no reason? Well, my sisters of course. Anyone who knows mom knows she'd be devastated to hear I couldn't travel because I needed to stay with her. She boasts of her false independence and all she does for us daily as a sort of defense mechanism. She cannot drive. She cannot see very well. She cannot negotiate steps, remote controls, telephones, and other conveniences without great frustration, but she cooks and cleans more than me and is always on call to watch the kids and even take business messages professionally.

So my sister calls and tells her I'm not going to Hawaii because I have to babysit her, but they are heroicly jumping through flaming hoops rearranging their schedules to make this terrible sacrifice to house her for few nights if she wants to inconvenience them all one at a time until Friday. This is just a common sense no no right? My mom hung up, tried to talk to me about it and started sobbing. She hates her life, wants to live alone in her old house, does not need anyone to babysit her, bla bla bla. ####, totally unnecessary and uncalled for. I would have stayed home, #####ed about it here and been fine. Kauai isn't going anywhere. Mom will not under any circumstances stay with any of them. She is NOT AN INVALID!! Pride's in play now. Since I'm posting family pictures, all four sisters went horseback riding in Cambria last week. I got this shot of them.

Enter my brother. "Hey mom. Your brother (he's 86) is here this week. Why don't you come stay with me?" They're in Vegas and all the pride in the world won't keep my compulsive slot machine playing mom from Vegas. Problem solved. My brother the hero. Me the jerk. Sisters evil. Life's pretty good.

A L O H A

Oh GM! I'm having breakfast with my daughter and some of her cousins here tomorrow before trudging over to LAX. That's a world class pancake house right there.

But the best dish is the poached and papas. It's incredible eggs benedict over potato skins and a thick slice of smokey ham steak.