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GM's thread about nothing (34 Viewers)

'Lomez said:
'Frostillicus said:
'Lomez said:
'Good said:
Comic
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lolIn his last 7 games, he has 3 or fewer AB in 5 of them. 3 with only 1 AB.

I'm done now.

Really.
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Get this - according to the numbers he's more likely to get a hit tonight than Matt Holliday.(of course keep in mind my numbers use full season stats, not the last two months)
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If this were May, you'd be money.
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Just saw there might not even be a game tonight.A bunch of Beige Supremacists are holding a rally outside the stadium.

 
I got in from dinner and decided to settle in with some Al Jazeera. How are we Americans supposed to appreciate this when it's all in Arabic?!?! :rant:

 
Calling my first football game of the season tonight. At least one of the teams will undoubtedly be wearing white paints. I will ridicule them.

 
'BobbyLayne said:
My Aunt Jean passed this morning, the tenth aunt/uncle from my father's side to die in the last fifteen years or so. My old man is all alone in that generation now; he's 75, wears a catheter, suffers from dysphagia (difficulty swallowing), and takes anti-depressants. He called me four times today. Did I mention the dementia? Just not a lot of good things that happen after a certain age. Aw well, that's the cycle of life...they take care of you when you're a helpless infant, and then it all reverses when they get old.Flying home to Michigan first thing tomorrow to spend time with him and attend the funeral.
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####, sorry GB.I learned yesterday that a friend of mine died, only 42 and genuinely the most selfless person I've ever known. I wanted to post about her last night but didn't want to be a downer in the midst of Guster's pics and cornhole and such. I want to type about her a little sometime, though.
 
The worst part of having to use an alias.....not having all your white corners. I will just replace them with white pants I guess.

 
'General Malaise said:
'Guster said:
Oh, and GM... Do you remember the name of the winery I'm supposed to go to? I've got no clue.
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Archery Summit is one she mentioned, but not sure about the first one. She also mentioned Domain Droughin.(sp?) Also, if you have time, I'd check out Herpes Creek, which makes some fine wines.
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:lmao:It ended up being Hawks View Cellars. Had a great tasting and got a nice tour of the facility. They hooked us up with a contact at Argyle, so we're on our way there now. :thumbup:
 
I've had two guys I grew up with die from cancer this week. Ridiculous. I think I am going to send handwritten notes to their parents/wives. I can't deal with funerals any longer.

 
'Guster said:
'General Malaise said:
'Guster said:
Oh, and GM... Do you remember the name of the winery I'm supposed to go to? I've got no clue.
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Archery Summit is one she mentioned, but not sure about the first one. She also mentioned Domain Droughin.(sp?) Also, if you have time, I'd check out Herpes Creek, which makes some fine wines.
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:lmao:It ended up being Hawks View Cellars. Had a great tasting and got a nice tour of the facility. They hooked us up with a contact at Argyle, so we're on our way there now. :thumbup:
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Hope you do the sparkling wine flight at Argyle. If you wear white pants, you get a free pour. :thumbup:
 
Some lady slammed in to the back of my car yesterday. She said don't tell our insurance companies until I got an estimate and let her take care of it on her own. I said okay, but I called my insurance company right away and am getting my agent to call her with the $1,300 estimate. Think she'll be mad? :unsure:

 
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'JbizzleMan said:
Some lady slammed in to the back of my car yesterday. She said don't tell our insurance companies until I got an estimate and let her take care of it on her own. I said okay, but I called my insurance company right away and am getting my agent to call her with the $1,300 estimate. Think she'll be mad? :unsure:
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Maybe you could offer her to give you $1,300 in 'services' instead. :unsure:
 
'General Malaise said:
'JbizzleMan said:
Some lady slammed in to the back of my car yesterday. She said don't tell our insurance companies until I got an estimate and let her take care of it on her own. I said okay, but I called my insurance company right away and am getting my agent to call her with the $1,300 estimate. Think she'll be mad? :unsure:
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Maybe you could offer her to give you $1,300 in 'services' instead. :unsure:
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She was 62 years old. :X
 
I'm more than a few pages behind so :lmao: at all of the funnies. at GPJ. On a freaking roll. :lmao:

I have a completely hypothetical situation I would like your opinions on. Suppose you buy a new house and the previous owner is deceased. Suppose the daughters of said deceased owner were very forgetful. They forgot to cancel their subscription to the only innernet provider in town after several requests so I still don't have service. Oh, they forgot to do anything to the lawn and abundant landscaping since we put the offer on the house. They forgot to leave the sprinkler system on burning most of the grass up. They forgot to clean the basement leaving it freaking disgusting with hundreds of bug carcasses. They forgot to leave the second garage door opener and anything but 1 key to the house, 1 key that doesn't fit all of the locks. They forgot to take assorted lawn decorations with them. They also, hypothetically, forgot something potentially very valuable. Should I consider it a gift like the lawn decorations and the other crap that left behind? Is there a statue of limitations on something like this? Hypothetically.

 
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'St. Louis Bob said:
I'm more than a few pages behind so :lmao: at all of the funnies. at GPJ. On a freaking roll. :lmao:

I have a completely hypothetical situation I would like your opinions on. Suppose you buy a new house and the previous owner is deceased. Suppose the daughters of said deceased owner were very forgetful. They forgot to cancel their subscription to the only innernet provider in town after several requests so I still don't have service. Oh, they forgot to do anything to the lawn and abundant landscaping since we put the offer on the house. They forgot to leave the sprinkler system on burning most of the grass up. They forgot to clean the basement leaving it freaking disgusting with hundreds of bug carcasses. They forgot to leave the second garage door opener and anything but 1 key to the house, 1 key that doesn't fit all of the locks. They forgot to take assorted lawn decorations with them. They also, hypothetically, forgot something potentially very valuable. Should I consider it a gift like the lawn decorations and the other crap that left behind? Is there a statue of limitations on something like this? Hypothetically.
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There's a comic for that.
 
Mrs. SLB just called, they apparently also forgot to call Brinks and disable the security system. Dylan was screwing around with the control pad and now the alarm is going off. Cops and the fire department are on their way. lol

 
'Good said:
'St. Louis Bob said:
I'm more than a few pages behind so :lmao: at all of the funnies. at GPJ. On a freaking roll. :lmao:

I have a completely hypothetical situation I would like your opinions on. Suppose you buy a new house and the previous owner is deceased. Suppose the daughters of said deceased owner were very forgetful. They forgot to cancel their subscription to the only innernet provider in town after several requests so I still don't have service. Oh, they forgot to do anything to the lawn and abundant landscaping since we put the offer on the house. They forgot to leave the sprinkler system on burning most of the grass up. They forgot to clean the basement leaving it freaking disgusting with hundreds of bug carcasses. They forgot to leave the second garage door opener and anything but 1 key to the house, 1 key that doesn't fit all of the locks. They forgot to take assorted lawn decorations with them. They also, hypothetically, forgot something potentially very valuable. Should I consider it a gift like the lawn decorations and the other crap that left behind? Is there a statue of limitations on something like this? Hypothetically.
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There's a comic for that.
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:lmao:
 
'St. Louis Bob said:
'Good said:
'St. Louis Bob said:
I'm more than a few pages behind so :lmao: at all of the funnies. at GPJ. On a freaking roll. :lmao:

I have a completely hypothetical situation I would like your opinions on. Suppose you buy a new house and the previous owner is deceased. Suppose the daughters of said deceased owner were very forgetful. They forgot to cancel their subscription to the only innernet provider in town after several requests so I still don't have service. Oh, they forgot to do anything to the lawn and abundant landscaping since we put the offer on the house. They forgot to leave the sprinkler system on burning most of the grass up. They forgot to clean the basement leaving it freaking disgusting with hundreds of bug carcasses. They forgot to leave the second garage door opener and anything but 1 key to the house, 1 key that doesn't fit all of the locks. They forgot to take assorted lawn decorations with them. They also, hypothetically, forgot something potentially very valuable. Should I consider it a gift like the lawn decorations and the other crap that left behind? Is there a statue of limitations on something like this? Hypothetically.
Click to expand...
There's a comic for that.
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:lmao:
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:lmao: :lmao:
 
'Gadzooks said:
I'm about to shower and manscape before heading out to a Chamber Picnic thingy that is supposed to be about "having a fun evening" and the only rule is that no one is supposed to talk about business. I'm not sure if my liver is aroused or afraid about what is going to happen tonight. Some of you should be expecting texts of toilets, my junk and/or nipples around 8pm-ish eastern time. I've already made out my "CatFish Bill" name tag, I just wish I had time to stop and buy some white pants.
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You know it was a good night when you come into work the next day with a massive hangover and realize you have 2 different shoes on. So after the Picnic thing, a few of us decide to go to a bar. This bar had an outdoor deck and everyone wanted to grab a drink and sit outside on the deck. As we're walking towards the deck I notice this cute red head walk into the bar who I also noticed at the picnic. So while everyone else headed to the deck, I circled back to bar to chat with the red head. She sat at the bar with a girlfriend, I walked up to them and before I could say anything they both burst out laughing. I forgot I still had my "CatFish Bill" name tag on. Red head's name was Lisa, and she asked me what I did for work and for some reason I told her that I was "a swim instructor at the YMCA and I teach troubled youths how to swim". I have no idea how or why that popped into my mind. Lisa and her friend seemed impressed. There was definitely some mutual flirting going on between Lisa and myself, though her wet blanket of a friend kept complaining about how she had to get up early and that they should leave. I told Lisa she should stay because it's not every night you get to have drinks with a guy named CatFish Bill. The wet blanket friend was persistent about leaving, so I told her I'd go for the ride to bring wet blanket home and then we'd come back to the bar. Apparently that came across as "creepy". So the lovely red-headed Lisa told me she'd bring her friend home and then come back. I didn't believe her that she'd come back, but I gave up my pursuit and let her leave with the wet blanket.Instead of going outside on the deck with the rest of the group I went there with, I decided to sit at the bar and do shots by myself. It was lovely. Then a large hefty woman with the hairiest arms I've ever seen plopped down on the stool next to me. She kinda looked like a white Nell Carter, but with really hairy arms. She looked at the bartender and said "hey slim, do you have any Amstel Light?" He said no. Then she says "ok, then give me a Bud". She was extremely loud and her voice was booming. She looked up and down the bar and then said "no popcorn, no peanuts, that's damn shame" I assume she was talking to me so I said "Its quite a travesty". She made some kind of a giggle/snort noise and then grabbed my name tag with her grizzly bear paw and made another strange grunt/giggle. I found her oddly entertaining. I had another shot and then got Frosty's text about Amanda H getting engaged and I loudly blurted out "MOTHER EFFER". My large hairy-armed new friend asked what was wrong and I told her that Amanda H got engaged. She asked who she was and I said she was the girl of my dreams. The wooley mammoth then said "well if she's with another guy, then I guess the "H" stands for "whore". I laughed and then started to tell her that the word "whore" started with a "w" and not an "h" but then I said "ah never mind, I think I love you". She said "ah sheet, settle down funny guy". She then said my real name couldn't be CatFish Bill, and asked what my real name was. Thinking of GMTAN characters, I told her my real name was Bentley Von-Shukernicki. She said "CatFish Bill" was cooler. I don't remember what her real name was, but she told me that her nickname growing up was "Boogers" and that her family still calls her "Boogers". I nearly choked on my beer from laughing so hard.So me and Boogers did a shot together and then some guys sits down on the stool on the other side of me with tattoos all over his arms and neck. I think he noticed that me and Boogers were staring at him, so he turned and looked at me and then he looked Boogers up and down. I was wildly drunk at this point and said to him "don't even think about it fella, Boogers is with me". He glared and said "dude, don't mess me, I've already violated my parole once today and I'm not afraid to do it again". I responded: "Are you Finless?" He glared again and said "hey funny guy, back off or I'll cut you." I told him I'd buy a round of shots if he promised not to cut me or Boogers. He agreed and the three of us did a shot together. One of my buddies came in from the deck to get another round of drinks and he did a double take when he saw me sitting at the bar yucking it up with my new friends. He asked if I was going to come outside on the deck with everyone else and I responded: "nope, I'm gonna hang out in here with Boogers and Finless". He was clearly puzzled and went back outside. A couple rounds later, the Finless character announced he was leaving because he felt like there were too many eyes on him. Boogers got up to use the ladies room and as she got up she said "well CatFish, while I'm gone you should figure out if you wanna come over my place and do stuff". I'm not sure what scared me more: the thought of doing stuff with Boogers, or that fact that I was strongly considering it. So I wandered out to the deck and most of the people I came there with had left. My buddy says to me "hey I'm taking off, do you need a ride or are you ok?" I replied: "I'm considering going home with a large hairy woman named Boogers. Does it look like I'm ok?" I told him I'd meet him at the car and I went back inside to pay my tab and say good bye to Boogers. I think she farted when I hugged her. It was the perfect end to our encounter.I got home and seriously gave thought to making chicken and then catching a jerk on the couch. Instead, I had a freeze pop and passed out before I could find any thing inspiring on Cinemax. So this morning I had my brother drive me to the bar I was at so I could pick up my car, which was great because not only did that mean that I was smart enough not to drive home last night, but it also meant I could pick up my debit card that I left at the bar. The bar wasn't open yet so I went back at lunch today to get my debit card and the bartender from last night was there and he thanked me for the generous tip I gave him and the laughs I provided him. He said I reminded him of Dudley Moore's character in "Arthur" (I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not) I'm thinking I'll take it easy tonight and have a quiet evening at home. Probably see some of you in the Drunk thread later.
 
'Gadzooks said:
I told her my real name was Bentley Von-Shukernicki. She said "CatFish Bill" was cooler. I don't remember what her real name was, but she told me that her nickname growing up was "Boogers" and that her family still calls her "Boogers". I nearly choked on my beer from laughing so hard.So me and Boogers did a shot together and then some guys sits down on the stool on the other side of me with tattoos all over his arms and neck. I think he noticed that me and Boogers were staring at him, so he turned and looked at me and then he looked Boogers up and down. I was wildly drunk at this point and said to him "don't even think about it fella, Boogers is with me". He glared and said "dude, don't mess me, I've already violated my parole once today and I'm not afraid to do it again". I responded: "Are you Finless?"
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:lmao:
 
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