GM's thread about nothing (113 Viewers)

[McJose]

We're watching The House Bunny tonight, which stars both Anna Faris and Emma Stone, both of whom have spent time as my avatar. Either my wife or my penis is in trouble tonight.

Pretty funny movie actually.

 

[Frostillicus]

Night was going smoothly, husband cooks dinner, I'm on my second glass of wine, etc. An hour ago, my cell phone rings with a local number. We have our house listed, so I'm going against normal protocols and answering any call that comes in.Me: Hello?Caller: Hi... my name is Heather, and I live across the canal from you.Me: Hi, Heather!Heather: Sweetie, your dock is floating away.We race through the yard to the water and sure enough, thar she blows, about 20 yards from her resting place. While we didn't get much rain at our house, apparently the water levels are super high and the dock's iron loops rose above the pillars around which they normally rest.Some quick thinking got us to get out our kayak and send Mr. YSR out in it to loop an electrical cord (couldn't find rope on such short notice) through the loops so we could rein her back in. We then spent the next 45 minutes affixing pieces of 2x4 to the tops of the pillars to make them taller.Worth mentioning that I'm extremely sensitive to the no-see-ums in our backyard, especially down at the waterfront, and will be sure to have no fewer than 60 bites in the morning. I get 20 or so just while passing through that area quickly on the mower.So, GMTAN, back to .

So, uh, did you manage to get mine and Truck's plays in?

Is tonight the night that the two of you go a combined 7-0 or something?

:cringe:Never mind.

 

[Frostillicus]

We're watching The House Bunny tonight, which stars both Anna Faris and Emma Stone, both of whom have spent time as my avatar. Either my wife or my penis is in trouble tonight.

Pretty funny movie actually.

Agreed. Emma Stone makes every movie funny. Or she is good at only choosing funny roles. Outside of Ghosts of Girlfriend's past she's made really good choices.

 

[YSR]

We're watching The House Bunny tonight, which stars both Anna Faris and Emma Stone, both of whom have spent time as my avatar. Either my wife or my penis is in trouble tonight.

Pretty funny movie actually.

Agreed. Emma Stone makes every movie funny. Or she is good at only choosing funny roles. Outside of Ghosts of Girlfriend's past she's made really good choices.

Do you think you could take Jim Carrey?

 

[Frostillicus]

We're watching The House Bunny tonight, which stars both Anna Faris and Emma Stone, both of whom have spent time as my avatar. Either my wife or my penis is in trouble tonight.

Pretty funny movie actually.

Agreed. Emma Stone makes every movie funny. Or she is good at only choosing funny roles. Outside of Ghosts of Girlfriend's past she's made really good choices.

Do you think you could take Jim Carrey?

That dude had the right idea. I should make a movie too.

 

[Buck Bradcanon]

Survivor Draft = worse than gout

 

[dharmapunk]

Good luck Ren.

Also, I'm back from the ball game. No crapsplosions to report, but Jose Reyes was there doing a AA rehab stint. After fouling off 3 pitches, he hit a homer. An old man near us caught one of Reyes' fouls and later gave it to my son.

 

[Frostillicus]

Survivor Draft = worse than gout

24 ROUNDS!!

 

[kotzwinkle]

Cute blonde that I met a while back and that I've seen out at local bars a couple times since texted me tonight and asked me out. She's 16 years younger than me. I declined because I need to get up at 3:30 in the morning to make my flight to Vegas in the morning. There was no way I was making my flight if I went out with her tonight.

I'm old and ashamed of myself.

 

[Buck Bradcanon]

The sharks started mocking my team in the third round.

 

[kotzwinkle]

The sharks started mocking my team in the third round.

should change your team name to "Worse than Gout"

 

[Frostillicus]

The sharks started mocking my team in the third round.

Who were your first three picks?

 

[Buck Bradcanon]

Good news is my shtick, which is 3rd rate at best in the context of this thread, is absolutely slaying the sharks over there.

 

[Frostillicus]

Good news is my shtick, that is 3rd rate at best in the context of this thread, is absolutely slaying the sharks over there.

That's the one positive of drafting with those dorks.

 

[Buck Bradcanon]

The sharks started mocking my team in the third round.

Who were your first three picks?

I took Gates in the third and its non PPR. I dont know.

 

[Frostillicus]

God Todd Helton sucks

 

[Buck Bradcanon]

Update: the sharks are taking Kickers in the 14th.

 

[gamera]

God Todd Helton sucks

When you're 206 years old, you're going to suck too.

 

[Frostillicus]

God Todd Helton sucks

When you're 206 years old, you're going to suck too.

He's ####### up a perfect evening.

 

[gamera]

God Todd Helton sucks

When you're 206 years old, you're going to suck too.

He's ####### up a perfect evening.

T&P GBYIC

 

[YSR]

Buster Bluth makes me laugh about as hard as anyone on this Earth.

 

[Good Posting Judge]

This is like sports Christmas.

 

[Frostillicus]

This is like sports Christmas.

I might orgasm if Helton gets a hit next time up

 

[YSR]

This is like sports Christmas.

I might orgasm if Helton gets a hit next time up

<_<Cool thing is that I'll get on all your picks tomorrow and you'll have a rare bad day.

 

[Frostillicus]

This is like sports Christmas.

I might orgasm if Helton gets a hit next time up

<_<Cool thing is that I'll get on all your picks tomorrow and you'll have a rare bad day.

I know.

 

[Frostillicus]

Thank you Helton. That's 10-0 tonight, +5.37u, literally the best night of the year. Sorry YSR.

 

[gamera]

Thank you Helton. That's 10-0 tonight, +5.37u, literally the best night of the year. Sorry YSR.

Need a Kleenex?

 

[McJose]

I'm so bored I'm thinking of bumping every 'fictitious' thread I've ever created.

 

[Tremendous Upside]

Just saw "My Idiot Brother"

Was a solid movie

But I am pretty sure Paul Rudd is the most likable person ever

I would watch him torture kittens

 

[McJose]

Just saw "My Idiot Brother"Was a solid movieBut I am pretty sure Paul Rudd is the most likable person everI would watch him torture kittens

You had me right up until the end.

 

[YSR]

Just saw "My Idiot Brother"Was a solid movieBut I am pretty sure Paul Rudd is the most likable person everI would watch him torture kittens

Paul Rudd has a very solid seat in/on my Top-5/Hump Island.

 

[shamwow!]

S = her, D = me. S: So why won't u tell me what u think of meY r u not comfortableD: I'm comfortable telling youS: Then y won't uD: Because I don't want it to be weird at workBut if you still want to know, I'll tell youS: U should tell me it's bugging meLol sorry im drinking a lilD: HahaWhy is it bugging you?S: idkD: You're the only thing I think about when I'm in thereS: Rlly?D: YeahS: AwwwD: What do you think?S: I think u Judy Wang in my pantsD: I wouldn't be as interested if you weren't smart and realized what a bunch of bull#### that place isI just want to be with you. You're coming out of a rough relationship and I get that. We work together, I get that. I just know that I'm really happy when I'm with youSo no, I don't Judy Wang in your pantsS: Lol I meant just want in my pantsD: I knowThat was a joke, hahaS: Oh okD: Did you see everything else I texted you?S: It's bc ur falling in loveYea I saw it it was really sweet and made me smileD: Yeah, so there you go...D: What do you want from meS: What do you want from me firstD: Asked you firstS: PleaseeD: I want everything from youS: And what if that's what I wantD: Then it's yoursS: MmmhmmmD: You can trust me

Wait...what is my drunk ### missing...I'm the only one who thinks this exchange is idiotic?

 

[Dr. Awesome]

You know this sucks. I've worked so hard to bed a cougar for years now. I can bed women my age. Was working on a cute 41 year old at the bar for an hour. Bought her and her married friend a round of tequila shots. Smoked a Newport with the newly divorced one.Finally went in for the kill with"I bought you a shot, so when can I buy you dinner?""No way" *turns away from me*"You're just being bashful because I'm the cutest guy who's hit on you in 10 years"She says "yeah so?"WTF do I have to do? She had a son who was 8 years younger than me (and she was 10 years older than me) and I think that was the hangup. Please send me some advice on this. I was working her for 3 hours and came home empty handed. This is getting ridiculous now.

Cougars generally want eye candy unless they're looking for a relationship. If you're a good looking and confident guy, be more aggressive. None of this dinner nonsense. Instead invite them back for some drinks at your place.

 

[BobbyLayne]

...

Wait...what is my drunk ### missing...I'm the only one who thinks this exchange is idiotic?

Elephant? Well, gosh, I hadn't even noticed that until just now.

 

[Reginald Cornsilks]

You know this sucks. I've worked so hard to bed a cougar for years now. I can bed women my age. Was working on a cute 41 year old at the bar for an hour. Bought her and her married friend a round of tequila shots. Smoked a Newport with the newly divorced one.Finally went in for the kill with"I bought you a shot, so when can I buy you dinner?""No way" *turns away from me*"You're just being bashful because I'm the cutest guy who's hit on you in 10 years"She says "yeah so?"WTF do I have to do? She had a son who was 8 years younger than me (and she was 10 years older than me) and I think that was the hangup. Please send me some advice on this. I was working her for 3 hours and came home empty handed. This is getting ridiculous now.

Cougars generally want eye candy unless they're looking for a relationship. If you're a good looking and confident guy, be more aggressive. None of this dinner nonsense. Instead invite them back for some drinks at your place.

Will try this next time.

 

[Tiger Fan]

12 team, PPR, 1/2/2/1/1/1, 6pts for QB TD passes, drafted from the 2 spot:

QB: Schaub (5), Kolb (10)

RB: Rice (1), Forte (2), Jackson (6), Bush (8)

WR: Nicks (3), Britt (7), Smith (CAR) (9), Bess (14)

TE: Witten (4), Gronkowski (11)

PK: Tynes (13)

D/ST: Bears (12)

Last year, QBs went heavy in this draft, so that's why I grabbed Schaub. Ended up being a mistake b/c Stafford went in the 9th :banghead: Still like my team, but would like it even better with Stafford as my starter and upgraded WR2

 

[dharmapunk]

S = her, D = me. S: So why won't u tell me what u think of meY r u not comfortableD: I'm comfortable telling youS: Then y won't uD: Because I don't want it to be weird at workBut if you still want to know, I'll tell youS: U should tell me it's bugging meLol sorry im drinking a lilD: HahaWhy is it bugging you?S: idkD: You're the only thing I think about when I'm in thereS: Rlly?D: YeahS: AwwwD: What do you think?S: I think u Judy Wang in my pantsD: I wouldn't be as interested if you weren't smart and realized what a bunch of bull#### that place isI just want to be with you. You're coming out of a rough relationship and I get that. We work together, I get that. I just know that I'm really happy when I'm with youSo no, I don't Judy Wang in your pantsS: Lol I meant just want in my pantsD: I knowThat was a joke, hahaS: Oh okD: Did you see everything else I texted you?S: It's bc ur falling in loveYea I saw it it was really sweet and made me smileD: Yeah, so there you go...D: What do you want from meS: What do you want from me firstD: Asked you firstS: PleaseeD: I want everything from youS: And what if that's what I wantD: Then it's yoursS: MmmhmmmD: You can trust me

Wait...what is my drunk ### missing...I'm the only one who thinks this exchange is idiotic?

When does texting-to-hook-up not sound stupid? It's ontological, man. The tech & situation forces you to sound like a couple teens with downs syndrome playing the leads in a romantic comedy. Who cares? There's sex on the line. The whole point is to dissolve this idiot talk into even dumber o-faced grunts and groans.There's probably a dissertation out there on this. "The closer you come to sex, to dumber language becomes until you orgasm and sound like a pissed off baby."I'm just surprised Ren had the balls to post it here.

 

[ren hoek]

When does texting-to-hook-up not sound stupid? It's ontological, man. The tech & situation forces you to sound like a couple teens with downs syndrome playing the leads in a romantic comedy. Who cares? There's sex on the line. The whole point is to dissolve this idiot talk into even dumber o-faced grunts and groans.There's probably a dissertation out there on this. "The closer you come to sex, to dumber language becomes until you orgasm and sound like a pissed off baby."I'm just surprised Ren had the balls to post it here.

Exactly. When the courting stage of texting becomes college MBA-level discourse, I'll be happy to hop on board, but until then you have to play the game. I posted it here in this thread explicitly because I knew it would be lost in a sea of other stuff. The last thing I want is attention or some odd form of street cred. I just want some advice.

 

[Dr. Awesome]

When does texting-to-hook-up not sound stupid? It's ontological, man. The tech & situation forces you to sound like a couple teens with downs syndrome playing the leads in a romantic comedy. Who cares? There's sex on the line. The whole point is to dissolve this idiot talk into even dumber o-faced grunts and groans.There's probably a dissertation out there on this. "The closer you come to sex, to dumber language becomes until you orgasm and sound like a pissed off baby."I'm just surprised Ren had the balls to post it here.

Exactly. When the courting stage of texting becomes college MBA-level discourse, I'll be happy to hop on board, but until then you have to play the game. I posted it here in this thread explicitly because I knew it would be lost in a sea of other stuff. The last thing I want is attention or some odd form of street cred. I just want some advice.

We all read the text exchange. There's no street cred off that one.

 

[bentley]

Just saw "My Idiot Brother"Was a solid movieBut I am pretty sure Paul Rudd is the most likable person everI would watch him torture kittens

Paul Rudd has a very solid seat in/on my Top-5/Hump Island.

I'm not saying I'm into dudes or anything, but I think he's also in mine.

 

[dharmapunk]

Confession: for awhile whenever I read Nigel's posts, I saw Paul Rudd's face. No shtick.

 

[Raider Nation]

MAJOR WOW FACTOR!!!

:X :X :X :X :X

Sorry... other than Levi, nobody is THAT gay! Every time I see that commercial, I rush into the shower to scrub my taint.

 

[BobbyLayne]

MAJOR WOW FACTOR!!!

:X :X :X :X :X

Sorry... other than Levi, nobody is THAT gay! Every time I see that commercial, I rush into the shower to scrub my taint.

 

[Raider Nation]

MAJOR WOW FACTOR!!!

:X :X :X :X :X

Sorry... other than Levi, nobody is THAT gay! Every time I see that commercial, I rush into the shower to scrub my taint.

 

[BobbyLayne]

It's raining Tim

Hallelujah

 

[dharmapunk]

When does texting-to-hook-up not sound stupid? It's ontological, man. The tech & situation forces you to sound like a couple teens with downs syndrome playing the leads in a romantic comedy. Who cares? There's sex on the line. The whole point is to dissolve this idiot talk into even dumber o-faced grunts and groans.There's probably a dissertation out there on this. "The closer you come to sex, to dumber language becomes until you orgasm and sound like a pissed off baby."I'm just surprised Ren had the balls to post it here.

Exactly. When the courting stage of texting becomes college MBA-level discourse, I'll be happy to hop on board, but until then you have to play the game. I posted it here in this thread explicitly because I knew it would be lost in a sea of other stuff. The last thing I want is attention or some odd form of street cred. I just want some advice.

We all read the text exchange. There's no street cred off that one.

If you want street cred, Ren, head over to :e: and post those videos of your other coworker.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

MAJOR WOW FACTOR!!!

:X :X :X :X :X

Sorry... other than Levi, nobody is THAT gay! Every time I see that commercial, I rush into the shower to scrub my taint.

You hate gays. Got it.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Javaris Crittenton, a former NBA player best known for being suspended by the league for bringing a gun into the Washington Wizards' locker room, has been charged with murder in the shooting of a woman in Atlanta.

PLEASE CHANGE TEAM NAME BACK TO THE BULLETS

 

[BobbyLayne]

MAJOR WOW FACTOR!!!

:X :X :X :X :X

Sorry... other than Levi, nobody is THAT gay! Every time I see that commercial, I rush into the shower to scrub my taint.

You hate gays. Got it.

Well it could be more nuanced than that.But I was confused why anyone would be offended by Tim Gunn. The guy oozes class, dignity, and great style.

 

[FDASv2.0]

Like I said earlier, going to a draft tomorrow in a league with some guys from my church. No money, just for fun, I have no real interest in winning. 12 teams, maybe one or two decent players, the rest will fight over Cowboys early in the draft.What would be the best drafting shtick to bring humor here to the GMTAN on Monday morning?

Well I didn't do any worthy shtick. I rushed in late, started the draft and ended up with "Wow, you guys really suck at this" shtick.My team, 12-teams, PPRQB: Vick, SanchezRB: Ray Rice, Hillis, Best, MorenoWR: Fitzgerald, Welker, Colston, Mike Thomas, Knox, BranchTE: Witten, Zach MillerDef: PhiladelphiaK: Henery