Soccer team lost 3-1 on Saturday. We had numerous opportunities to score, but they just couldn't fire the ball into the net. We need to finish.
My solution? I'm going to the Dollar Store right now and I'm buying water balloons and duct tape. I'm going to tape the water balloons all over my body and sit in the middle of our goal box at practice. I want our boys to literally blow me up tonight.
Also hoping they sell nut cups at the Dollar Store.
There's always Rite Aid.

And after i spent about 10 minutes combing the cesspool that is the Dollar Store for balloons and duct tape, I walked out with only the tape and straight into the open and welcoming arms of Rite Aid, where they had all the water balloons I could ever want. Sure, they cost a little more than what they would at the dollar store, but I had a Rite Aid employee (Sherry) walk me right to them. No line, neither.
Anyhow, I rushed home, filled up as many balloons as I could, threw them in a cooler and let the kids absolutely annihilate me in the goal box, all the well yelling encouraging things like "BLOW ME UP! KILL THAT BALL! MUDER IT! TATTOO ME! DESTROY IT!". I think they got the idea. Hopefully, they'll relentlessly attack the goalie on Saturday like they did with me yesterday. They seemed to enjoy the drills.