GM's thread about nothing (30 Viewers)

[Tremendous Upside]

It's all in the delivery

 

[Tribulation]

It's all in the delivery

So we're going to need a podcast? I just wish he'd done the Jewish mother version, but only if he'd have gotten the Yiddish accent right.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

I'm ready to move on as well BUT if you guys don't understand the delicious irony of Desert Rose asking about a stalker I feel sorry for you.

 

[Idiot Boxer]

I can't believe you guys don't get it. 18.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

17 piled up grannies napping and the top one wakes up briefly to screw in bulb?

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

I'm ready to move on as well BUT if you guys don't understand the delicious irony of Desert Rose asking about a stalker I feel sorry for you.

how many texts/emails/PMs did Rose send to Cappy?18.:riotousapplause:

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

lol

 

[Leeroy Jenkins]

So somebody texted me to congratulate me on my recent engagement (I know, bad move, not a single guy really seems happy about this although everybody likes the girl, but I digress)from a random number that is not in my phone. I texted the person back to thank them, but asked who it was etc. No reply. A week or so later I texted back again something similar and that i lost numbers in an update blah blah blah. No reply. On reverse phone look-up is just shows up as a landline (which it isn't) so no luck there.

The strange thing is that I got this before posting on facebook. And I had already heard from all of my family and people that I told directly. Weird.

 

[Keys Myaths]

So somebody texted me to congratulate me on my recent engagement (I know, bad move, not a single guy really seems happy about this although everybody likes the girl, but I digress)from a random number that is not in my phone. I texted the person back to thank them, but asked who it was etc. No reply. A week or so later I texted back again something similar and that i lost numbers in an update blah blah blah. No reply. On reverse phone look-up is just shows up as a landline (which it isn't) so no luck there. The strange thing is that I got this before posting on facebook. And I had already heard from all of my family and people that I told directly. Weird.

Congrats, man. I didn't realize this had happened.(it wasn't me)

 

[El Floppo]

he's 4, people. he doesn't even know what a joke is unless somebody falls down or takes a pie to the face.

 

[Leeroy Jenkins]

Well, after four years of back and forth, she's finally moving out this weekend.Pretty brutal breakup from two people who have been through this before. I'm seeing a really nasty side of her. We live together, and we both love the apartment. She's fighting tooth and nail to stay here, which I surprisingly have very little problem with.The issue is that she wants to move out of this apartment (she can't afford it), and go to a studio in the same place. I said fine, but I'd like to stay here, since I love it too. Obviously, she thinks that would be weird - and so do I, but that's when it turns nasty.Because I just won't pick up and move out, she pouts, claims I've "won" and guilt trips several times, and that she's going to have to go live in the ghetto someplace. I would accept (begrudgingly) us living in the same complex over me having to find a different place to live.In the end, I think it's sad that's what's making her so nasty. Then, she makes a money grab - trying to get the money for the engagement ring, then money to move out, then stuff of mine she can sell. Then calls me selfish for saying nh, well. Gave her until Sunday to move out, she agreed, and I'm going to a hotel. Life is...interesting.

Why would one of you staying be weird?Why would you both have to live in the same complex post-breakup? That's weird.

For the first question, it wouldn't. The fight is basically who stays. I can afford it. She can't. She can afford a smaller place in the same building.She made another money grab this morning. It was pretty brutal. Obviously I said no, so the name calling/etc. started again. Sad, really, because she's not like this. Something's snapped.

are you engaged or married? And I am kind of on board with Thorn on strip clubs.

 

[Tremendous Upside]

he's 4, people. he doesn't even know what a joke is unless somebody falls down or takes a pie to the face.

tough crowd

 

[Disco Stu]

he's 4, people. he doesn't even know what a joke is unless somebody falls down or takes a pie to the face.

Teach him one of those jokes with realistic punchlines.What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

The holocaust.

 

[Keys Myaths]

Well, after four years of back and forth, she's finally moving out this weekend.Pretty brutal breakup from two people who have been through this before. I'm seeing a really nasty side of her. We live together, and we both love the apartment. She's fighting tooth and nail to stay here, which I surprisingly have very little problem with.The issue is that she wants to move out of this apartment (she can't afford it), and go to a studio in the same place. I said fine, but I'd like to stay here, since I love it too. Obviously, she thinks that would be weird - and so do I, but that's when it turns nasty.Because I just won't pick up and move out, she pouts, claims I've "won" and guilt trips several times, and that she's going to have to go live in the ghetto someplace. I would accept (begrudgingly) us living in the same complex over me having to find a different place to live.In the end, I think it's sad that's what's making her so nasty. Then, she makes a money grab - trying to get the money for the engagement ring, then money to move out, then stuff of mine she can sell. Then calls me selfish for saying nh, well. Gave her until Sunday to move out, she agreed, and I'm going to a hotel. Life is...interesting.

Why would one of you staying be weird?Why would you both have to live in the same complex post-breakup? That's weird.

For the first question, it wouldn't. The fight is basically who stays. I can afford it. She can't. She can afford a smaller place in the same building.She made another money grab this morning. It was pretty brutal. Obviously I said no, so the name calling/etc. started again. Sad, really, because she's not like this. Something's snapped.

are you engaged or married? And I am kind of on board with Thorn on strip clubs.

Engaged. The ring is in my bag.

 

[Keys Myaths]

By the way, how am I supposed to sell this ring? I have all the documentation and the appraisal.

 

[Limp Ditka]

I'm ready to move on as well BUT if you guys don't understand the delicious irony of Desert Rose asking about a stalker I feel sorry for you.

how many texts/emails/PMs did Rose send to Cappy per hour?18.:riotousapplause:

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

By the way, how am I supposed to sell this ring? I have all the documentation and the appraisal.

GLLLEbay is better than a pawn shop. You'll get shafted pretty much no matter what. Unless your jeweler had a return policy...some do.

 

[Tremendous Upside]

By the way, how am I supposed to sell this ring? I have all the documentation and the appraisal.

GLLLEbay is better than a pawn shop. You'll get shafted pretty much no matter what. Unless your jeweler had a return policy...some do.

Save it for your next fiancee?

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

By the way, how am I supposed to sell this ring? I have all the documentation and the appraisal.

GLLLEbay is better than a pawn shop. You'll get shafted pretty much no matter what. Unless your jeweler had a return policy...some do.

Save it for your next fiancee?

Wear it on a necklace and tell chicks your wife died for sympathy bangs?

 

[Keys Myaths]

By the way, how am I supposed to sell this ring? I have all the documentation and the appraisal.

GLLLEbay is better than a pawn shop. You'll get shafted pretty much no matter what. Unless your jeweler had a return policy...some do.

I was looking into eBay a bit. I have a pretty decent feedback rating (about 100+, I believe with no negatives), but nothing like the big retailers.I was going to try that first. Make a reasonable reserve, post pictures, pictures of the appraisal, post links to the exact same ring online elsewhere (which would obviously be more expensive). What should I set the reserve at? Half of what I paid (less than the appraisal)? Less?

 

[Buck Bradcanon]

Oof on selling a ring. No bigger sham than the diamond industry. The "appraisal" is best used as toilet paper.

 

[Disco Stu]

By the way, how am I supposed to sell this ring? I have all the documentation and the appraisal.

GLLLEbay is better than a pawn shop. You'll get shafted pretty much no matter what. Unless your jeweler had a return policy...some do.

Save it for your next fiancee?

Wear it on a necklace and tell chicks your wife died for sympathy bangs?

That's a strange cause to be so passionate about.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

I believe I paid about 5k for my ex's, it was appraised at about 8k and it fetched about $1800 on ebay. 1.2 carat platinum ring.

 

[Keys Myaths]

I believe I paid about 5k for my ex's, it was appraised at about 8k and it fetched about $1800 on ebay. 1.2 carat platinum ring.

This is pretty much my situation. Mine's only 1 carat, but the other specs are superb.I'd take $1800 at this point.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

I believe I paid about 5k for my ex's, it was appraised at about 8k and it fetched about $1800 on ebay. 1.2 carat platinum ring.

This is pretty much my situation. Mine's only 1 carat, but the other specs are superb.I'd take $1800 at this point.

I think it costs you about $30 or so iirc to sell with a reserve. You could take a shot or two with a higher reserve and reduce each time.

 

[-fish-]

What do you mean what's the "big deal" about strip clubs?All the ones I've been to had NAKED CHICKS at them.

<-- wants to go to a strip club with shuke. This guy gets it. Naked hot (or semi-hot) women dancing provocatively are better than the Yankees vs. Red Sox on the bar TV. It's entertainment of the finest type. You get drunk, you have a wild time, you joke, you laugh, you oogle naked women who at worst don't mind being oogled and at best like it. And maybe you go into a backroom for the evening's wild card.

But you have to pay (often times quite a bit) to ogle, you can't touch, can't 'finish,' you're paying way too much for watered-down drinks, everyone's acting, and you're surrounded by a bunch of creepy and/or horny dudes. I don't get it.

clubs around here you can touch, there's no booze, and depending on the stripper there's a good chance if you pay the extra $20-$40 you can finish.

 

[Keys Myaths]

I believe I paid about 5k for my ex's, it was appraised at about 8k and it fetched about $1800 on ebay. 1.2 carat platinum ring.

This is pretty much my situation. Mine's only 1 carat, but the other specs are superb.I'd take $1800 at this point.

I think it costs you about $30 or so iirc to sell with a reserve. You could take a shot or two with a higher reserve and reduce each time.

Good call. Thanks.

 

[dharmapunk]

But you have to pay (often times quite a bit) to ogle, you can't touch, can't 'finish,' you're paying way too much for watered-down drinks, everyone's acting, and you're surrounded by a bunch of creepy and/or horny dudes. I don't get it.

go to better strip clubs.

These people have obviously never been to The Sundowner.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

(Entire school back to him)- I don't know, how many grandmothers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

- 18

riotous applause and my kid exits back to his mom giving running hifives to the crowd.

I literally cried from pride when my wife told me.

So awesome.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

I don't want no skeezy stripper putting her mitts on me. What's the matter with you people?

 

[El Floppo]

?

Teach him one of those jokes with realistic punchlines.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

The holocaust.

So much better than the- how many Polacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb- I was going to feed him next. Especially considering the crowd. Or maybe the- what speaks french, has 2 thumbs and loves a good bj. I just know he'll #### up the punchline though... "That would be ME"

 

[Tiger Fan]

Well, after four years of back and forth, she's finally moving out this weekend.Pretty brutal breakup from two people who have been through this before. I'm seeing a really nasty side of her. We live together, and we both love the apartment. She's fighting tooth and nail to stay here, which I surprisingly have very little problem with.The issue is that she wants to move out of this apartment (she can't afford it), and go to a studio in the same place. I said fine, but I'd like to stay here, since I love it too. Obviously, she thinks that would be weird - and so do I, but that's when it turns nasty.Because I just won't pick up and move out, she pouts, claims I've "won" and guilt trips several times, and that she's going to have to go live in the ghetto someplace. I would accept (begrudgingly) us living in the same complex over me having to find a different place to live.In the end, I think it's sad that's what's making her so nasty. Then, she makes a money grab - trying to get the money for the engagement ring, then money to move out, then stuff of mine she can sell. Then calls me selfish for saying nh, well. Gave her until Sunday to move out, she agreed, and I'm going to a hotel. Life is...interesting.

1. Sorry to hear*. Why are you going to a hotel while she stays til Sunday? From what you posted, I'd be afraid she was going to take your stuff and sell it @. You going to change the locks?

 

[Keys Myaths]

Well, after four years of back and forth, she's finally moving out this weekend.Pretty brutal breakup from two people who have been through this before. I'm seeing a really nasty side of her. We live together, and we both love the apartment. She's fighting tooth and nail to stay here, which I surprisingly have very little problem with.The issue is that she wants to move out of this apartment (she can't afford it), and go to a studio in the same place. I said fine, but I'd like to stay here, since I love it too. Obviously, she thinks that would be weird - and so do I, but that's when it turns nasty.Because I just won't pick up and move out, she pouts, claims I've "won" and guilt trips several times, and that she's going to have to go live in the ghetto someplace. I would accept (begrudgingly) us living in the same complex over me having to find a different place to live.In the end, I think it's sad that's what's making her so nasty. Then, she makes a money grab - trying to get the money for the engagement ring, then money to move out, then stuff of mine she can sell. Then calls me selfish for saying nh, well. Gave her until Sunday to move out, she agreed, and I'm going to a hotel. Life is...interesting.

1. Sorry to hear*. Why are you going to a hotel while she stays til Sunday? From what you posted, I'd be afraid she was going to take your stuff and sell it @. You going to change the locks?

If she does, I'll call the police, but I'm not all that concerned. I am taking the cat to the hotel with me, though.I don't see a reason to change the locks (it's an apartment, so I'm assuming that costs more than usual). Again, I'm not really afraid of her, she's just being irrational.Maybe I'll just take pictures of everything and make sure to compare.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

I believe I paid about 5k for my ex's, it was appraised at about 8k and it fetched about $1800 on ebay. 1.2 carat platinum ring.

This is pretty much my situation. Mine's only 1 carat, but the other specs are superb.I'd take $1800 at this point.

I think it costs you about $30 or so iirc to sell with a reserve. You could take a shot or two with a higher reserve and reduce each time.

Good call. Thanks.

Also, if you tell a story about how awful your ex is (or make one up) you might get a lot more views as it makes it's way around the interwebs.In fact, maybe just have 'zooks or GM write a back-story.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

I prefer the dive-bar type strip clubs. The ones where I can sit at the bar and get hammered and look at an occasional boob. Or if cgrdrjoe is at the rail with a chick I can just sit down and grab a boob. (MexiJoe>hi)

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Sorry to hear that Keys. To the rest of the single guys here, see how much better it is to not be a poor dumb *******?

In an effort to get this thread somewhere else, any married guys want to explain to me what the big deal is about strip clubs?

I rather dislike strip clubs, to be honest.

my wife doesn't care if I go to one, but I couldn't care less about going to one anyway. Buncha hoes just trying to get my dollar bills, yo.

This. Unless it's with Mrs. SLB, then it's on.

- How many grandmothers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? (I had recently told him the jewish version, where the answer is "s'alright, I'll just stand here in the dark")

(Entire school back to him)- I don't know, how many grandmothers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

- 18

riotous applause and my kid exits back to his mom giving running hifives to the crowd.

I literally cried from pride when my wife told me.

awesome

 

[St. Louis Bob]

This guy walks into a psychiatrist's office with a stack of pancakes on his head, a biscuit on each shoulder, sausages stuffed up his nose and pieces of bacon shoved under his armpits. The psychiatrist says "I can I help you?" and the guy replies

Spoiler

Yeah, I'm really worried about my brother.

 

[Dr. Watson]

A few things:

- Sorry for everyone's losses, divorces, etc.

- Pickles, quit picking on people.

- I'm taking a new, old job...can't stand this place anymore, couldn't stand that place anymore 6 years ago, but offer was too good to refuse.

 

[Samuel L Bronkowitz]

What do you mean what's the "big deal" about strip clubs?

All the ones I've been to had NAKED CHICKS at them.

<-- wants to go to a strip club with shuke. This guy gets it. Naked hot (or semi-hot) women dancing provocatively are better than the Yankees vs. Red Sox on the bar TV. It's entertainment of the finest type. You get drunk, you have a wild time, you joke, you laugh, you oogle naked women who at worst don't mind being oogled and at best like it. And maybe you go into a backroom for the evening's wild card.

But you have to pay (often times quite a bit) to ogle, you can't touch, can't 'finish,' you're paying way too much for watered-down drinks, everyone's acting, and you're surrounded by a bunch of creepy and/or horny dudes. I don't get it.

Almost 3 hours and no Wetdream sighting? <_<

 

[Tremendous Upside]

NYC does a lot of things very well. Strip clubs aren't one of them. Strict no touching policy and uber expensive. Lots of really hot Russian and Eastern European chicks though.

 

[Samuel L Bronkowitz]

Keys>Sorry to hear GB. I thought this was resolved a long time ago. I assume The Scare™ was just that...a scare?

 

[dharmapunk]

NYC does a lot of things very well. Strip clubs aren't one of them. Strict no touching policy and uber expensive. Lots of really hot Russian and Eastern European chicks though.

The place I mentioned to Rude is in NF, Ontario. When I used to go it was 80% Eastern European and South American imports on work visas -incredibly gorgeous women- and the touching rules were 'if she puts your hand there, have fun.' The backroom varied according to the year and who's doing the talking. Sometimes it was practically a cat house. Other times, just a good time with some personal attention. The very worst (which is what I, being a poor dumb ******* went for) she got naked and rubbed herself all over you, ending with a grind. The women though! My god the women were fantastic. Offdee 8 and 9s all over the place.Bonus: a buddy and I used to go in the day. The talent was diminished, but so were the crowds. To draw non-peak hour business, they would put out a decent brunch buffet. So we'd go have brunch with naked women dancing, then shoot pool in the back with the strippers. Good times.*shoot pool isn't a metaphor here. I mean literally shoot pool. Stripes and solids.

 

[Bogart]

Mr. Cross really bringing it today with his topics.

Alisas? My notebook is sub-par at best.

 

[Disco Stu]

Does that GI Joe character I look like ever wear fatigues? Looking for an easy Halloween costume...

 

[Keys Myaths]

Keys>Sorry to hear GB. I thought this was resolved a long time ago. I assume The Scare™ was just that...a scare?

I don't remember a pregnancy scare with this one. Maybe I'm blocking it out.And thanks.

 

[Idiot Boxer]

what speaks french, has 2 thumbs and loves a good bj. I just know he'll #### up the punchline though... "That would be ME"

This joke only needs slight modification to be fourth grade approved."What speaks French, has 2 thumbs and loves a good PBJ?"

**This guy**

:mikefistpump:

"And I don't mix the Peanut Butter and Jelly in a bowl"

:throwsdownmike:

:kissesfingersthrowsuppeacesign:

"PEACE. OUT."

 

[Idiot Boxer]

what speaks french, has 2 thumbs and loves a good bj. I just know he'll #### up the punchline though... "That would be ME"

This joke only needs slight modification to be fourth grade approved."What speaks French, has 2 thumbs and loves a good PBJ?"

**This guy**

:mikefistpump:

"And I don't mix the Peanut Butter and Jelly in a bowl"

:throwsdownmike:

:kissesfingersthrowsuppeacesign:

"PEACE. OUT."

:riotousapplause:

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Does that GI Joe character I look like ever wear fatigues? Looking for an easy Halloween costume...

YesAlthough I always thought Furley was more old school GI Joe looking.

 

[dharmapunk]

Don't know where else to talk about this, so here it goes GMTAN -

In one of my classes, my students' first papers are memoirs. I just read one from a black girl. She's by turns incredibly focused, talkative, and intelligent...then sleeps through the next class or inexplicably gets up and leaves halfway through.

I just read her memoir and I can't decide if it's BS or not.

She claims to have gotten pregnant at 17 with twins. The father was a good guy who had a full ride to NYU. One night they end up at some old high school friend's house and the end result is he gets killed, she stabs one person to death, shoots another twice in the head then empties the clip into his body, then she throws a knife at the last person, hits him, and watches as he falls down a staircase to die as well. So she killed three people and watched her BF get murdered. Then, to top it all off, she has a stress miscarriage and loses the twins.



How the hell do you grade something like that?

ETA: I forgot to mention the murders were kinda self-defense. These people broke into the house. They brought the gun she eventually used to shoot one of them. And since she's in my class, I imagine the courts agreed with that. She doesn't mention serving any time. Just being mentally unstable for awhile.

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

Don't know where else to talk about this, so here it goes GMTAN -In one of my classes, my students' first papers are memoirs. I just read one from a black girl. She's by turns incredibly focused, talkative, and intelligent...then sleeps through the next class or inexplicably gets up and leaves halfway through.I just read her memoir and I can't decide if it's BS or not.She claims to have gotten pregnant at 17 with twins. The father was a good guy who had a full ride to NYU. One night they end up at some old high school friend's house and the end result is he gets killed, she stabs one person to death, shoots another twice in the head then empties the clip into his body, then she throws a knife at the last person, hits him, and watches as he falls down a staircase to die as well. So she killed three people and watched her BF get murdered. Then, to top it all off, she has a stress miscarriage and loses the twins. How the hell do you grade something like that?

Gordon Gekko alias?