GM's thread about nothing (38 Viewers)

[shuke]

Man, STLB....that just sucks about Cal. I can't believe the older kids told him they were hacking into your computer. What a horrible thing to say to Cal. I really hope this turns around for him and if you have another big gambling score, I think you should be "Jenny" a horse. She's a hero, IMO. Standing up for others is a lesson I've tried to impart on my sons and it seems to have sunk in with Coop. There's a kid in his class named Spencer who lost his mom to cancer. Another kid in the class gave Spencer some crap for not having a mom and Spencer cried. Apparently, Coop told the kid that wasn't a nice thing to say and told him to stop. Never been more proud in all my life.

My wife and I have always tried to teach our boys to never look down on anyone or pick on anyone.When my youngest was here at my school he was also in my homeroom. We had this other kid in the class named Ben. Ben had a lot of issues. Small for his age, moderate emotional issues, and a learning disability. Pretty tough stuff to deal with when you're 13.One day our homeroom was supposed to play in an intramural game at lunch. It was some wacky game like capture the flag but it involves two footballs, flags, a couple of hula-hoops, and a football field (not kidding). Anyway not everyone showed up and my class was short players. My son sees Ben walking by and calls him over. Ben protests and says "I suck at sports!" A couple of other kids don't want Ben to play. My boy tells them to shut up and takes Ben and shows him exactly how to play "goalie" or "jailkeeper" or whatever the hell it is. We end up winning the game and Ben made several crucial "outs" during the game. My son and a couple of other kids started chanting Ben, Ben, Ben towards the end of the game. I wasn't there but I heard about it after lunch from two girls that were there. They said they had never seen Ben actually act happy to be the center of attention. I couldn't have been more proud of my son.The next morning I got an email from Ben's mom. She said that he told her all about "winning" the game when he came home. She didn't realize that it was my son that had helped him out. She wanted me to thank the "great kids" in my homeroom for treating Ben like he mattered.

Awesome.I really wish there was a manual you could read to ensure your kids grow up like this.

 

[-fish-]

Anyone ever see The Devil Makes Three?

Driving down to Portland to see these guys tonight.

I dig em even though that's not really my type of music. I bet I could get drunk with them too.PARADE IN CHICAGO! http://yfrog.com/kh8ugxvj

great show, ridiculously fun. spent today trying to cornhole with GM, but I think I did it wrong. I never tried to contact him and just went barhopping with my brother and sister, hoping I'd randomly run into him. needless to say, it didn't work.

Fair to say "Communication" isn't listed as one of your strengths on your resume?

I also went to bed at 8:30 last night, so even if you had met up with me, I wouldn't have been very much fun.

I'm going to be visiting Portland more often. This was a last minute trip with not much free time built in. Next time I'll actually contact you.

 

[phishphan]

whats a sawzall

A hick term for "reciprocating saw".

Or a brand name for the reciprocating saw produced by Milwaukee Tools. Used like one might use a Xerox machine or a Kleenex.

Shuke owned yet again.

what does m4m mean

it means "GAY"

 

[shuke]

Speaking of kids, what do you guys do for punishments?

Our 6 year old is having more and more difficulty listening lately. He definitely seems hyperactive and is constantly loud or just acting crazy, and the problem is exacerabated by my wife's migraines. Seems like there is a lot of stress in our household lately.

I know some part of this is him just being a kid, but it is like he can't help himself from running around or doing crazy slapstick physical comedy type stuff.

 

[General Malaise]

Speaking of kids, what do you guys do for punishments?

Our 6 year old is having more and more difficulty listening lately. He definitely seems hyperactive and is constantly loud or just acting crazy, and the problem is exacerabated by my wife's migraines. Seems like there is a lot of stress in our household lately.

I know some part of this is him just being a kid, but it is like he can't help himself from running around or doing crazy slapstick physical comedy type stuff.

STOP BEING FUNNY!!!!

 

[Jethro Q. Walrustitty]

Speaking of kids, what do you guys do for punishments?Our 6 year old is having more and more difficulty listening lately. He definitely seems hyperactive and is constantly loud or just acting crazy, and the problem is exacerabated by my wife's migraines. Seems like there is a lot of stress in our household lately. I know some part of this is him just being a kid, but it is like he can't help himself from running around or doing crazy slapstick physical comedy type stuff.

Shocking.

 

[Fred Flintstone]

Current Timewaster: Not To Scale, a jigsaw puzzle where the pieces change size

I'm really not liking you at this moment.

 

[guru_007]

6 year old running around, being loud, acting crazy?

umm, pretty sure that's what they do, at least that's what my 6 year old does.

If it's getting too overbearing, I tell them to settle down. If it continues, I tell them if they don't settle down they are going to their room. If it continues, I send them to their room

 

[Fred Flintstone]

Dateline: 2am

Location: Downtown Eugene 7/ll across from motel

Summary: A very drunk and disoriented General Malaise has been wondering the streets of Eugene, OR after his Ducks lost to USC. He is armed with two metals flasks half full of Jameson, a pipe full of marijuana and brain that quit functioning at 6pm. The bars have closed and GM just turned down an offer to go back to a hotel room with a 275 pound woman and her male cousin for some kinky sex games. The couple traded menthol cigarettes to GM for hits of weed and shots of Jameson and despite his condition was able to politely decline the invite. Instead, GM was going to hit the 7/11, but 2-3 Big Bites and return to his motel room.

Unfortunately, 7/11 didn't have any fresh big bites and it would take 30-40 minutes to make more. GM told the woman at 7/11 that he would just 'hang out' and read a Penthouse while the hot dogs cooked, but the woman looked uncomfortable and pointed out a neighboring Mexican joint that was still open and served better food. Her words.

So GM walked next door, stood in a long line full of drunken college kids. By a stroke of luck, the gentleman immediately ahead of him was a sharp dressed Mexican man with a cowboy hat and lots of turquoise. When he ordered, he ordered in Spanish. It blew GM away. So much so that when GM got up to order, he slurred out "I'll have exactly what that man just ordered". The lady tried to explain to him that the man ordered two huge burritos, one for his wife back home and is GM sure he wants two huge burritos?

15 minutes later, GM arrived to his motel room, awoke his buddy by flipping on lights and the TV and began to destroy the burritos like a land shark. Many hours later, GM awoke to the sound of the TV and his buddy taking pictures of him, burrito fixings all over the bed.

 

[Sconch]

People who use terms "Xerox" and "Kleenex" are also uneducated hillbillies, since neither has lost legal trademark status.

What if I'm actually using a Xerox machine or a real Klennex tissue?

 

[Sconch]

Man, STLB....that just sucks about Cal. I can't believe the older kids told him they were hacking into your computer. What a horrible thing to say to Cal. I really hope this turns around for him and if you have another big gambling score, I think you should be "Jenny" a horse. She's a hero, IMO. Standing up for others is a lesson I've tried to impart on my sons and it seems to have sunk in with Coop. There's a kid in his class named Spencer who lost his mom to cancer. Another kid in the class gave Spencer some crap for not having a mom and Spencer cried. Apparently, Coop told the kid that wasn't a nice thing to say and told him to stop. Never been more proud in all my life.

My wife and I have always tried to teach our boys to never look down on anyone or pick on anyone.When my youngest was here at my school he was also in my homeroom. We had this other kid in the class named Ben. Ben had a lot of issues. Small for his age, moderate emotional issues, and a learning disability. Pretty tough stuff to deal with when you're 13.One day our homeroom was supposed to play in an intramural game at lunch. It was some wacky game like capture the flag but it involves two footballs, flags, a couple of hula-hoops, and a football field (not kidding). Anyway not everyone showed up and my class was short players. My son sees Ben walking by and calls him over. Ben protests and says "I suck at sports!" A couple of other kids don't want Ben to play. My boy tells them to shut up and takes Ben and shows him exactly how to play "goalie" or "jailkeeper" or whatever the hell it is. We end up winning the game and Ben made several crucial "outs" during the game. My son and a couple of other kids started chanting Ben, Ben, Ben towards the end of the game. I wasn't there but I heard about it after lunch from two girls that were there. They said they had never seen Ben actually act happy to be the center of attention. I couldn't have been more proud of my son.The next morning I got an email from Ben's mom. She said that he told her all about "winning" the game when he came home. She didn't realize that it was my son that had helped him out. She wanted me to thank the "great kids" in my homeroom for treating Ben like he mattered.

Awesome.I really wish there was a manual you could read to ensure your kids grow up like this.

My kid isn't going to cure cancer or run a Fortune 500 company. Getting him up in the morning is like moving mountains. He also doesn't understand why he should take out the trash or walk the dogs. Hell we're sweating (just a little) over whether or not he's got enough units to graduate HS right now. The same thing was true with his older brother. But the one thing that my wife and I take pride in is that we raised a couple of "good people". Back when my brother in law passed away I had a bunch of people come up and tell me how thoughtful my sons were and how helpful they were. If only they would stop eating me out of house and home and not leave dirty socks under the couch.

 

[phishphan]

Man, STLB....that just sucks about Cal. I can't believe the older kids told him they were hacking into your computer. What a horrible thing to say to Cal. I really hope this turns around for him and if you have another big gambling score, I think you should be "Jenny" a horse. She's a hero, IMO. Standing up for others is a lesson I've tried to impart on my sons and it seems to have sunk in with Coop. There's a kid in his class named Spencer who lost his mom to cancer. Another kid in the class gave Spencer some crap for not having a mom and Spencer cried. Apparently, Coop told the kid that wasn't a nice thing to say and told him to stop. Never been more proud in all my life.

My wife and I have always tried to teach our boys to never look down on anyone or pick on anyone.

When my youngest was here at my school he was also in my homeroom. We had this other kid in the class named Ben. Ben had a lot of issues. Small for his age, moderate emotional issues, and a learning disability. Pretty tough stuff to deal with when you're 13.

One day our homeroom was supposed to play in an intramural game at lunch. It was some wacky game like capture the flag but it involves two footballs, flags, a couple of hula-hoops, and a football field (not kidding). Anyway not everyone showed up and my class was short players. My son sees Ben walking by and calls him over. Ben protests and says "I suck at sports!" A couple of other kids don't want Ben to play. My boy tells them to shut up and takes Ben and shows him exactly how to play "goalie" or "jailkeeper" or whatever the hell it is.

We end up winning the game and Ben made several crucial "outs" during the game. My son and a couple of other kids started chanting Ben, Ben, Ben towards the end of the game. I wasn't there but I heard about it after lunch from two girls that were there. They said they had never seen Ben actually act happy to be the center of attention. I couldn't have been more proud of my son.

The next morning I got an email from Ben's mom. She said that he told her all about "winning" the game when he came home. She didn't realize that it was my son that had helped him out. She wanted me to thank the "great kids" in my homeroom for treating Ben like he mattered.

Awesome.I really wish there was a manual you could read to ensure your kids grow up like this.

My kid isn't going to cure cancer or run a Fortune 500 company. Getting him up in the morning is like moving mountains. He also doesn't understand why he should take out the trash or walk the dogs. Hell we're sweating (just a little) over whether or not he's got enough units to graduate HS right now. The same thing was true with his older brother. But the one thing that my wife and I take pride in is that we raised a couple of "good people". Back when my brother in law passed away I had a bunch of people come up and tell me how thoughtful my sons were and how helpful they were. If only they would stop eating me out of house and home and not leave dirty socks under the couch.

up late making crock pot chicken?

 

[Sconch]

Man, STLB....that just sucks about Cal. I can't believe the older kids told him they were hacking into your computer. What a horrible thing to say to Cal. I really hope this turns around for him and if you have another big gambling score, I think you should be "Jenny" a horse. She's a hero, IMO. Standing up for others is a lesson I've tried to impart on my sons and it seems to have sunk in with Coop. There's a kid in his class named Spencer who lost his mom to cancer. Another kid in the class gave Spencer some crap for not having a mom and Spencer cried. Apparently, Coop told the kid that wasn't a nice thing to say and told him to stop. Never been more proud in all my life.

My wife and I have always tried to teach our boys to never look down on anyone or pick on anyone.

When my youngest was here at my school he was also in my homeroom. We had this other kid in the class named Ben. Ben had a lot of issues. Small for his age, moderate emotional issues, and a learning disability. Pretty tough stuff to deal with when you're 13.

One day our homeroom was supposed to play in an intramural game at lunch. It was some wacky game like capture the flag but it involves two footballs, flags, a couple of hula-hoops, and a football field (not kidding). Anyway not everyone showed up and my class was short players. My son sees Ben walking by and calls him over. Ben protests and says "I suck at sports!" A couple of other kids don't want Ben to play. My boy tells them to shut up and takes Ben and shows him exactly how to play "goalie" or "jailkeeper" or whatever the hell it is.

We end up winning the game and Ben made several crucial "outs" during the game. My son and a couple of other kids started chanting Ben, Ben, Ben towards the end of the game. I wasn't there but I heard about it after lunch from two girls that were there. They said they had never seen Ben actually act happy to be the center of attention. I couldn't have been more proud of my son.

The next morning I got an email from Ben's mom. She said that he told her all about "winning" the game when he came home. She didn't realize that it was my son that had helped him out. She wanted me to thank the "great kids" in my homeroom for treating Ben like he mattered.

Awesome.I really wish there was a manual you could read to ensure your kids grow up like this.

My kid isn't going to cure cancer or run a Fortune 500 company. Getting him up in the morning is like moving mountains. He also doesn't understand why he should take out the trash or walk the dogs. Hell we're sweating (just a little) over whether or not he's got enough units to graduate HS right now. The same thing was true with his older brother. But the one thing that my wife and I take pride in is that we raised a couple of "good people". Back when my brother in law passed away I had a bunch of people come up and tell me how thoughtful my sons were and how helpful they were. If only they would stop eating me out of house and home and not leave dirty socks under the couch.

up late making crock pot chicken?

I wish it was something logical like that. They're just lazy.

 

[Jethro Q. Walrustitty]

Sounds like maybe Sconch should be raising shuke's kid, and my kids for that matter. Dude has it down to a science.

 

[Tiger Fan]

People who use terms "Xerox" and "Kleenex" are also uneducated hillbillies, since neither has lost legal trademark status.

oh come on

 

[dharmapunk]

Thanks for the e-mails, texts, dirty pictures (YSR/Krista)etc. I appreciate it.

First off, I haven't been arrested, incarcerated, audited or deported. I also don't have some sort of fatal disease that I'm aware of. Just a lot of stuff going on lately and believe it or not, I don't share every facet of my life with you guys here. That isn't to say I don't trust or love you guys, it just wouldn't be prudent to make it that public.

So I figure I owe you some sort of an explanation. Part of the recent "weirdness" is with Cal. Remember how I wrote about his IEP meeting a couple of weeks ago and how everything was going great until about that time? Well, it turns out that his bad day, after bad day at school was directly related to him being bullied. By a bunch of kids. Cal loves two things right now, computers and math. He loves talking about them and will do so ad nauseam if you let him. So some of the bigger kids decided to tell him they were hacking our computer, and my parents computer and stealing all of our money, posing as scammers and stealing our friends money too. They also like to ask him math questions way out of his grade level, (what's 1234*5678?) just to frustrate him. Then when he couldn't answer they taunted him by calling him stupid. Then a bunch of others began piling on. It started on the bus to school, continued all day, and finished on the bus on the way home. Day, after, day. Turns out there is a "Jenny" in his class that sticks up for Cal when the rest of the other kids pick on him, sort of a Forrest GMump kind of thing. To Cal's credit, he never ratted them out but I felt terrible that he was sucking it up and didn't come to me. So I eventually found out what was going on when Jenny finally went to a teacher about the same time Cal was pushed too far and threatened to "get a shotgun and kill all of you". Yeah. YEAH. I have a gun but Cal doesn't even know that. I don't hunt, or talk about guns. None of my family or friends that have been around Cal don't hunt or talk about guns. He doesn't play violent video games (he prefers coolmath-games.com) and he couldn't tell me where he learned to say something like that. The principal and his teachers were actually very understanding and made the main 6 culprits apologize to him. After I got home that night and put the fear of Bob into him for making such a terrible threat, I sat him down and talked to him about what was going on at school. Having your 7 year old son crying in your arms, from pure despair, because "nobody likes me, everybody thinks I'm a weirdo and stupid" was heartbreaking. And by "heartbreaking" I mean the coldest depths of hell. I told him the only thing I could think of. That I would make it right. That if he would trust me & be honest with me, I would make him feel happy again. He agreed and the rest of the school week went much better for him. I've gotten some looks from some of the other parents in the neighborhood however. I've had some conversations, initiated by them too. They were mostly apologetic and I just replied with "kids man, everything will be fine". The looks, and lack of, are another thing though. There are some daggers for sure. I however cannot be intimidated, and you seriously don't want to #### with me and you certainly don't want to #### with my kids. It should be interesting.

Oh yeah, I got some free new carpet installed in my basement Saturday. The rug, glue, & installers just fell off the truck. Crazy. Nothing fancy, I just wanted to put a play area in part of the basement for the kids. pic pic

I also talked my GB's into skipping the Rams game yesterday and just going to the casino instead. Dropped a grand and got wasted. I'm also going to spend a silly amount of money of getting some landscaping done. I'm on tilt.

So anyway, that's part of it. I'll probably be doing some hyperhippling later.

You're a good man, Bob. Phoenix is only five, but I'm bracing myself for if/when this kind of thing lands on my lap (2 years?). Your example is helping me prepare.

 

[Tiger Fan]

Speaking of kids, what do you guys do for punishments?

Our 6 year old is having more and more difficulty listening lately. He definitely seems hyperactive and is constantly loud or just acting crazy, and the problem is exacerabated by my wife's migraines. Seems like there is a lot of stress in our household lately.

I know some part of this is him just being a kid, but it is like he can't help himself from running around or doing crazy slapstick physical comedy type stuff.

If I had to picture your son, this is exactly how I would picture him GB

 

[YSR]

Is it possible to have a pinched nerve in the middle of the upper arm? I've self diagnosed and need to know how to treat this.

In the last 24 hours, whenever I bend my right arm at a 90-degree angle - say, to type on a laptop that's on my lap, cook or iron - I develop a horrible pinching/stinging feeling in a very specific spot on the back of my upper arm after about 2-3 minutes. The pain is equidistant between my shoulder and elbow and is directly at the bottom of my upper arm when its in the "making a bicep" position.

I don't know enough about anatomy to know whether a nerve can be affected in that spot, but whatever is going on is causing some real problems. Any suggestions? Ice? Heat? Electrostim? Stretching?

 

[Keys Myaths]

My kid isn't going to cure cancer or run a Fortune 500 company. Getting him up in the morning is like moving mountains. He also doesn't understand why he should take out the trash or walk the dogs. Hell we're sweating (just a little) over whether or not he's got enough units to graduate HS right now. The same thing was true with his older brother. But the one thing that my wife and I take pride in is that we raised a couple of "good people". Back when my brother in law passed away I had a bunch of people come up and tell me how thoughtful my sons were and how helpful they were. If only they would stop eating me out of house and home and not leave dirty socks under the couch.

It wasn't one of yours that was striving to become a hip-hop artist, right?

 

[dharmapunk]

Showing Blue Velvet in class today.

What class is this?

An ENG 200 theory class that was thrown at me mid-semester. The reg prof had a heart attack and I took over. I immediately ditched the syllabus and started up a film unit. We did Jung & Sarte with Fight Club first. Now it's a super condensed version of Freud's Oedipus Complex (with some Lacan) and Blue Velvet. Doing Plato and The Matrix next. It's a nice chill way to make a buck. Also lessens the stress of change on the class when you eat popcorn and watch movies for a week, then roll up the sleeves for two days of intense discussion...followed by more popcorn movie viewing. I might even hammer this unit into something for my regular classes.

 

[Sconch]

My kid isn't going to cure cancer or run a Fortune 500 company. Getting him up in the morning is like moving mountains. He also doesn't understand why he should take out the trash or walk the dogs. Hell we're sweating (just a little) over whether or not he's got enough units to graduate HS right now. The same thing was true with his older brother. But the one thing that my wife and I take pride in is that we raised a couple of "good people". Back when my brother in law passed away I had a bunch of people come up and tell me how thoughtful my sons were and how helpful they were. If only they would stop eating me out of house and home and not leave dirty socks under the couch.

It wasn't one of yours that was striving to become a hip-hop artist, right?

god no

 

[Thorn]

Man, STLB....that just sucks about Cal. I can't believe the older kids told him they were hacking into your computer. What a horrible thing to say to Cal. I really hope this turns around for him and if you have another big gambling score, I think you should be "Jenny" a horse. She's a hero, IMO. Standing up for others is a lesson I've tried to impart on my sons and it seems to have sunk in with Coop. There's a kid in his class named Spencer who lost his mom to cancer. Another kid in the class gave Spencer some crap for not having a mom and Spencer cried. Apparently, Coop told the kid that wasn't a nice thing to say and told him to stop. Never been more proud in all my life.

My wife and I have always tried to teach our boys to never look down on anyone or pick on anyone.When my youngest was here at my school he was also in my homeroom. We had this other kid in the class named Ben. Ben had a lot of issues. Small for his age, moderate emotional issues, and a learning disability. Pretty tough stuff to deal with when you're 13.One day our homeroom was supposed to play in an intramural game at lunch. It was some wacky game like capture the flag but it involves two footballs, flags, a couple of hula-hoops, and a football field (not kidding). Anyway not everyone showed up and my class was short players. My son sees Ben walking by and calls him over. Ben protests and says "I suck at sports!" A couple of other kids don't want Ben to play. My boy tells them to shut up and takes Ben and shows him exactly how to play "goalie" or "jailkeeper" or whatever the hell it is. We end up winning the game and Ben made several crucial "outs" during the game. My son and a couple of other kids started chanting Ben, Ben, Ben towards the end of the game. I wasn't there but I heard about it after lunch from two girls that were there. They said they had never seen Ben actually act happy to be the center of attention. I couldn't have been more proud of my son.The next morning I got an email from Ben's mom. She said that he told her all about "winning" the game when he came home. She didn't realize that it was my son that had helped him out. She wanted me to thank the "great kids" in my homeroom for treating Ben like he mattered.

What do you mean "like Capture the Flag"? That's exactly how you play Capture the Flag. Including putting the weak sister on your team at jailkeeper.

 

[Fred Flintstone]

GM's post reminded me just how out of it I was Friday night at the concert. Still piecing things together. The good news was that the second the band hit the stage I snapped out of it and was able to enjoy the show.

Afterward I was still pretty lit. For some reason I decided to be offended by some of the young hipsters (as opposed to us aging ones) hanging outside the theater after the show. There was one couple that caught my attention. The girl was a dead-ringer for Talia Shire as Adrian at the beginning of "Rocky". She and her dude were wearing Pixies t-shirts (which I couldn't decide was ironic on purpose or not).

I decided she needed a good injection of shtick:

Me: Wow! What a great show? Amirite?

Adrian: Umm hmmm. It was good.

Me: It was awesome! I'm so glad they played that Fight Club song!

Adrian: :smirks: Fight Club song? It's called 'Where is My Mind?'

Me: What? Pretty sure it's the Fight Club song or Theme From Fight Club.

Adrian: No, no it's not.

Me: Anyway. Hey, how about them playing that Monkey Song?!? I love that!

Adrian: :sighs: That's called 'Monkey Gone to Heaven'...it's on the album 'Doolittle'

Me: Yeah, Monkey Doolittle. I LOVE that album.

Then my wife dragged me away.

 

[General Malaise]

Our punishment typically involves taking away something they really like, though I don't really have to punish them very much. My kids are pretty well behaved. That said, the two of them fight like Ralph and Alice Kramden. They are 19 months apart and are around each quite a bit, but my lord...they will fight about anything and everything. I'm pretty sure that one day, they will kill each other over who gets to push the elevator button first.

But they don't limit their bickering to things like toys or who gets the remote or what show they will watch or who gets the bigger half of the cookie. They will fight about STUFF IN THE FUTURE THAT HASN'T EVEN HAPPENED YET.

What do I mean when I say that, you ask? The other day, Kellen said he wanted to invent an 'umbrella hat' and planned to do that when he was older. Cooper told him that he was pretty sure an 'umbrella hat' had probably already been invented but in the rare event it hadn't been invented yet, he would make one before his brother. They nearly went to blows over who would build an umbrella hat first. My wife had almost had to pull the car over. When she told me this later, I looked at them like "Really? REALLY?"...and they nearly went to blows AGAIN trying to explain what happened. Unreal.

 

[Sconch]

Sounds like maybe Sconch should be raising shuke's kid, and my kids for that matter. Dude has it down to a science.

Oh hell no. Next week I'll be posting how one of them ruined our clothes dryer by throwing in an entire bag of pizza rolls on high because the other one was using the microwave.

 

[Sconch]

Our punishment typically involves taking away something they really like, though I don't really have to punish them very much. My kids are pretty well behaved. That said, the two of them fight like Ralph and Alice Kramden. They are 19 months apart and are around each quite a bit, but my lord...they will fight about anything and everything. I'm pretty sure that one day, they will kill each other over who gets to push the elevator button first.

But they don't limit their bickering to things like toys or who gets the remote or what show they will watch or who gets the bigger half of the cookie. They will fight about STUFF IN THE FUTURE THAT HASN'T EVEN HAPPENED YET.

What do I mean when I say that, you ask? The other day, Kellen said he wanted to invent an 'umbrella hat' and planned to do that when he was older. Cooper told him that he was pretty sure an 'umbrella hat' had probably already been invented but in the rare event it hadn't been invented yet, he would make one before his brother. They nearly went to blows over who would build an umbrella hat first. My wife had almost had to pull the car over. When she told me this later, I looked at them like "Really? REALLY?"...and they nearly went to blows AGAIN trying to explain what happened. Unreal.

Kellen, wait.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Speaking of kids, what do you guys do for punishments?Our 6 year old is having more and more difficulty listening lately. He definitely seems hyperactive and is constantly loud or just acting crazy, and the problem is exacerabated by my wife's migraines. Seems like there is a lot of stress in our household lately. I know some part of this is him just being a kid, but it is like he can't help himself from running around or doing crazy slapstick physical comedy type stuff.

A cigarette might calm him down.

 

[General Malaise]

Our punishment typically involves taking away something they really like, though I don't really have to punish them very much. My kids are pretty well behaved. That said, the two of them fight like Ralph and Alice Kramden. They are 19 months apart and are around each quite a bit, but my lord...they will fight about anything and everything. I'm pretty sure that one day, they will kill each other over who gets to push the elevator button first.

But they don't limit their bickering to things like toys or who gets the remote or what show they will watch or who gets the bigger half of the cookie. They will fight about STUFF IN THE FUTURE THAT HASN'T EVEN HAPPENED YET.

What do I mean when I say that, you ask? The other day, Kellen said he wanted to invent an 'umbrella hat' and planned to do that when he was older. Cooper told him that he was pretty sure an 'umbrella hat' had probably already been invented but in the rare event it hadn't been invented yet, he would make one before his brother. They nearly went to blows over who would build an umbrella hat first. My wife had almost had to pull the car over. When she told me this later, I looked at them like "Really? REALLY?"...and they nearly went to blows AGAIN trying to explain what happened. Unreal.

Kellen, wait.

7.5 - Hottest chick wearing a hat that looks like an umbrella.

 

[dharmapunk]

I just made her go to Bob Evans and pick me up some biscuits and gravy. I'm such a ####.

How does this happen? What was the conversation?

"I'd do anything for you.""Go get me some biscuits and gravy."

Verbatim.

Dateline: 2am

Location: Downtown Eugene 7/ll across from motel

Summary: A very drunk and disoriented General Malaise has been wondering the streets of Eugene, OR after his Ducks lost to USC. He is armed with two metals flasks half full of Jameson, a pipe full of marijuana and brain that quit functioning at 6pm. The bars have closed and GM just turned down an offer to go back to a hotel room with a 275 pound woman and her male cousin for some kinky sex games. The couple traded menthol cigarettes to GM for hits of weed and shots of Jameson and despite his condition was able to politely decline the invite. Instead, GM was going to hit the 7/11, but 2-3 Big Bites and return to his motel room.

Unfortunately, 7/11 didn't have any fresh big bites and it would take 30-40 minutes to make more. GM told the woman at 7/11 that he would just 'hang out' and read a Penthouse while the hot dogs cooked, but the woman looked uncomfortable and pointed out a neighboring Mexican joint that was still open and served better food. Her words.

So GM walked next door, stood in a long line full of drunken college kids. By a stroke of luck, the gentleman immediately ahead of him was a sharp dressed Mexican man with a cowboy hat and lots of turquoise. When he ordered, he ordered in Spanish. It blew GM away. So much so that when GM got up to order, he slurred out "I'll have exactly what that man just ordered". The lady tried to explain to him that the man ordered two huge burritos, one for his wife back home and is GM sure he wants two huge burritos?

15 minutes later, GM arrived to his motel room, awoke his buddy by flipping on lights and the TV and began to destroy the burritos like a land shark. Many hours later, GM awoke to the sound of the TV and his buddy taking pictures of him, burrito fixings all over the bed.

I love this thread sometimes.

 

[Jethro Q. Walrustitty]

Sounds like maybe Sconch should be raising shuke's kid, and my kids for that matter. Dude has it down to a science.

Oh hell no. Next week I'll be posting how one of them ruined our clothes dryer by throwing in an entire bag of pizza rolls on high because the other one was using the microwave.

Now you're just rubbing it in. This is genius. Not umbrella hat genius, but genius still.

 

[Sconch]

Our punishment typically involves taking away something they really like, though I don't really have to punish them very much. My kids are pretty well behaved. That said, the two of them fight like Ralph and Alice Kramden. They are 19 months apart and are around each quite a bit, but my lord...they will fight about anything and everything. I'm pretty sure that one day, they will kill each other over who gets to push the elevator button first.

But they don't limit their bickering to things like toys or who gets the remote or what show they will watch or who gets the bigger half of the cookie. They will fight about STUFF IN THE FUTURE THAT HASN'T EVEN HAPPENED YET.

What do I mean when I say that, you ask? The other day, Kellen said he wanted to invent an 'umbrella hat' and planned to do that when he was older. Cooper told him that he was pretty sure an 'umbrella hat' had probably already been invented but in the rare event it hadn't been invented yet, he would make one before his brother. They nearly went to blows over who would build an umbrella hat first. My wife had almost had to pull the car over. When she told me this later, I looked at them like "Really? REALLY?"...and they nearly went to blows AGAIN trying to explain what happened. Unreal.

Kellen, wait.

7.5 - Hottest chick wearing a hat that looks like an umbrella.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Is it possible to have a pinched nerve in the middle of the upper arm? I've self diagnosed and need to know how to treat this.

In the last 24 hours, whenever I bend my right arm at a 90-degree angle - say, to type on a laptop that's on my lap, cook or iron - I develop a horrible pinching/stinging feeling in a very specific spot on the back of my upper arm after about 2-3 minutes. The pain is equidistant between my shoulder and elbow and is directly at the bottom of my upper arm when its in the "making a bicep" position.

I don't know enough about anatomy to know whether a nerve can be affected in that spot, but whatever is going on is causing some real problems. Any suggestions? Ice? Heat? Electrostim? Stretching?

Romo running things. Respect.

 

[dharmapunk]

GM's post reminded me just how out of it I was Friday night at the concert. Still piecing things together. The good news was that the second the band hit the stage I snapped out of it and was able to enjoy the show.

Afterward I was still pretty lit. For some reason I decided to be offended by some of the young hipsters (as opposed to us aging ones) hanging outside the theater after the show. There was one couple that caught my attention. The girl was a dead-ringer for Talia Shire as Adrian at the beginning of "Rocky". She and her dude were wearing Pixies t-shirts (which I couldn't decide was ironic on purpose or not).

I decided she needed a good injection of shtick:

Me: Wow! What a great show? Amirite?

Adrian: Umm hmmm. It was good.

Me: It was awesome! I'm so glad they played that Fight Club song!

Adrian: :smirks: Fight Club song? It's called 'Where is My Mind?'

Me: What? Pretty sure it's the Fight Club song or Theme From Fight Club.

Adrian: No, no it's not.

Me: Anyway. Hey, how about them playing that Monkey Song?!? I love that!

Adrian: :sighs: That's called 'Monkey Gone to Heaven'...it's on the album 'Doolittle'

Me: Yeah, Monkey Doolittle. I LOVE that album.

Then my wife dragged me away.

You sir, are my new hero.

 

[wadegarrett]

Dateline: 2am

Location: Downtown Eugene 7/ll across from motel

Summary: A very drunk and disoriented General Malaise has been wondering the streets of Eugene, OR after his Ducks lost to USC. He is armed with two metals flasks half full of Jameson, a pipe full of marijuana and brain that quit functioning at 6pm. The bars have closed and GM just turned down an offer to go back to a hotel room with a 275 pound woman and her male cousin for some kinky sex games. The couple traded menthol cigarettes to GM for hits of weed and shots of Jameson and despite his condition was able to politely decline the invite. Instead, GM was going to hit the 7/11, but 2-3 Big Bites and return to his motel room.

Unfortunately, 7/11 didn't have any fresh big bites and it would take 30-40 minutes to make more. GM told the woman at 7/11 that he would just 'hang out' and read a Penthouse while the hot dogs cooked, but the woman looked uncomfortable and pointed out a neighboring Mexican joint that was still open and served better food. Her words.

So GM walked next door, stood in a long line full of drunken college kids. By a stroke of luck, the gentleman immediately ahead of him was a sharp dressed Mexican man with a cowboy hat and lots of turquoise. When he ordered, he ordered in Spanish. It blew GM away. So much so that when GM got up to order, he slurred out "I'll have exactly what that man just ordered". The lady tried to explain to him that the man ordered two huge burritos, one for his wife back home and is GM sure he wants two huge burritos?

15 minutes later, GM arrived to his motel room, awoke his buddy by flipping on lights and the TV and began to destroy the burritos like a land shark. Many hours later, GM awoke to the sound of the TV and his buddy taking pictures of him, burrito fixings all over the bed.

 

[dharmapunk]

People who use terms "Xerox" and "Kleenex" are also uneducated hillbillies, since neither has lost legal trademark status.

Yes, but the more we use it, the closer they come to being lost trademarks.

 

[shuke]

Speaking of kids, what do you guys do for punishments?

Our 6 year old is having more and more difficulty listening lately. He definitely seems hyperactive and is constantly loud or just acting crazy, and the problem is exacerabated by my wife's migraines. Seems like there is a lot of stress in our household lately.

I know some part of this is him just being a kid, but it is like he can't help himself from running around or doing crazy slapstick physical comedy type stuff.

If I had to picture your son, this is exactly how I would picture him GB

WHAT THE #### IS THIS SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

 

[shuke]

What do I mean when I say that, you ask? The other day, Kellen said he wanted to invent an 'umbrella hat' and planned to do that when he was older. Cooper told him that he was pretty sure an 'umbrella hat' had probably already been invented but in the rare event it hadn't been invented yet, he would make one before his brother. They nearly went to blows over who would build an umbrella hat first. My wife had almost had to pull the car over. When she told me this later, I looked at them like "Really? REALLY?"...and they nearly went to blows AGAIN trying to explain what happened. Unreal.

 

[Sconch]

Sounds like maybe Sconch should be raising shuke's kid, and my kids for that matter. Dude has it down to a science.

Oh hell no. Next week I'll be posting how one of them ruined our clothes dryer by throwing in an entire bag of pizza rolls on high because the other one was using the microwave.

Now you're just rubbing it in. This is genius. Not umbrella hat genius, but genius still.

 

[shuke]

GM> your kids really need to start collecting baseball cards.

 

[Tiger Fan]

Our punishment typically involves taking away something they really like, though I don't really have to punish them very much. My kids are pretty well behaved. That said, the two of them fight like Ralph and Alice Kramden. They are 19 months apart and are around each quite a bit, but my lord...they will fight about anything and everything. I'm pretty sure that one day, they will kill each other over who gets to push the elevator button first.

But they don't limit their bickering to things like toys or who gets the remote or what show they will watch or who gets the bigger half of the cookie. They will fight about STUFF IN THE FUTURE THAT HASN'T EVEN HAPPENED YET.

What do I mean when I say that, you ask? The other day, Kellen said he wanted to invent an 'umbrella hat' and planned to do that when he was older. Cooper told him that he was pretty sure an 'umbrella hat' had probably already been invented but in the rare event it hadn't been invented yet, he would make one before his brother. They nearly went to blows over who would build an umbrella hat first. My wife had almost had to pull the car over. When she told me this later, I looked at them like "Really? REALLY?"...and they nearly went to blows AGAIN trying to explain what happened. Unreal.

Can you PM me Cooper's email address so I can send him this: http://www.umbrellahat.net/P.S. I just found the gift I'll be giving at xmas parties this year

ETA: looks like Snoch beat me to it

 

[Fred Flintstone]

Man, STLB....that just sucks about Cal. I can't believe the older kids told him they were hacking into your computer. What a horrible thing to say to Cal. I really hope this turns around for him and if you have another big gambling score, I think you should be "Jenny" a horse. She's a hero, IMO. Standing up for others is a lesson I've tried to impart on my sons and it seems to have sunk in with Coop. There's a kid in his class named Spencer who lost his mom to cancer. Another kid in the class gave Spencer some crap for not having a mom and Spencer cried. Apparently, Coop told the kid that wasn't a nice thing to say and told him to stop. Never been more proud in all my life.

My wife and I have always tried to teach our boys to never look down on anyone or pick on anyone.When my youngest was here at my school he was also in my homeroom. We had this other kid in the class named Ben. Ben had a lot of issues. Small for his age, moderate emotional issues, and a learning disability. Pretty tough stuff to deal with when you're 13.One day our homeroom was supposed to play in an intramural game at lunch. It was some wacky game like capture the flag but it involves two footballs, flags, a couple of hula-hoops, and a football field (not kidding). Anyway not everyone showed up and my class was short players. My son sees Ben walking by and calls him over. Ben protests and says "I suck at sports!" A couple of other kids don't want Ben to play. My boy tells them to shut up and takes Ben and shows him exactly how to play "goalie" or "jailkeeper" or whatever the hell it is. We end up winning the game and Ben made several crucial "outs" during the game. My son and a couple of other kids started chanting Ben, Ben, Ben towards the end of the game. I wasn't there but I heard about it after lunch from two girls that were there. They said they had never seen Ben actually act happy to be the center of attention. I couldn't have been more proud of my son.The next morning I got an email from Ben's mom. She said that he told her all about "winning" the game when he came home. She didn't realize that it was my son that had helped him out. She wanted me to thank the "great kids" in my homeroom for treating Ben like he mattered.

 

[shuke]

Kellen, wait.

So hot.

 

[Sconch]

GM's post reminded me just how out of it I was Friday night at the concert. Still piecing things together. The good news was that the second the band hit the stage I snapped out of it and was able to enjoy the show.

Afterward I was still pretty lit. For some reason I decided to be offended by some of the young hipsters (as opposed to us aging ones) hanging outside the theater after the show. There was one couple that caught my attention. The girl was a dead-ringer for Talia Shire as Adrian at the beginning of "Rocky". She and her dude were wearing Pixies t-shirts (which I couldn't decide was ironic on purpose or not).

I decided she needed a good injection of shtick:

Me: Wow! What a great show? Amirite?

Adrian: Umm hmmm. It was good.

Me: It was awesome! I'm so glad they played that Fight Club song!

Adrian: :smirks: Fight Club song? It's called 'Where is My Mind?'

Me: What? Pretty sure it's the Fight Club song or Theme From Fight Club.

Adrian: No, no it's not.

Me: Anyway. Hey, how about them playing that Monkey Song?!? I love that!

Adrian: :sighs: That's called 'Monkey Gone to Heaven'...it's on the album 'Doolittle'

Me: Yeah, Monkey Doolittle. I LOVE that album.

Then my wife dragged me away.

You sir, are my new hero.

Yeah I thought "Theme from Fight Club" was a little too much but she bought it.

 

[Jethro Q. Walrustitty]

Speaking of kids, what do you guys do for punishments?

Our 6 year old is having more and more difficulty listening lately. He definitely seems hyperactive and is constantly loud or just acting crazy, and the problem is exacerabated by my wife's migraines. Seems like there is a lot of stress in our household lately.

I know some part of this is him just being a kid, but it is like he can't help himself from running around or doing crazy slapstick physical comedy type stuff.

If I had to picture your son, this is exactly how I would picture him GB

WHAT THE #### IS THIS SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

The attention whore seed is strong.

 

[Tiger Fan]

Speaking of kids, what do you guys do for punishments?

Our 6 year old is having more and more difficulty listening lately. He definitely seems hyperactive and is constantly loud or just acting crazy, and the problem is exacerabated by my wife's migraines. Seems like there is a lot of stress in our household lately.

I know some part of this is him just being a kid, but it is like he can't help himself from running around or doing crazy slapstick physical comedy type stuff.

If I had to picture your son, this is exactly how I would picture him GB

WHAT THE #### IS THIS SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

it means that his dad probably takes pictures of how much food he can fit in his mouth and posts them on message boards

 

[Sconch]

Speaking of kids, what do you guys do for punishments?

Our 6 year old is having more and more difficulty listening lately. He definitely seems hyperactive and is constantly loud or just acting crazy, and the problem is exacerabated by my wife's migraines. Seems like there is a lot of stress in our household lately.

I know some part of this is him just being a kid, but it is like he can't help himself from running around or doing crazy slapstick physical comedy type stuff.

If I had to picture your son, this is exactly how I would picture him GB

WHAT THE #### IS THIS SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

it means that his dad probably takes pictures of how much food he can fit in his mouth and posts them on message boards

This thread has been gold today. GOLD

 

[mr. furley]

Speaking of kids, what do you guys do for punishments?

Our 6 year old is having more and more difficulty listening lately. He definitely seems hyperactive and is constantly loud or just acting crazy, and the problem is exacerabated by my wife's migraines. Seems like there is a lot of stress in our household lately.

I know some part of this is him just being a kid, but it is like he can't help himself from running around or doing crazy slapstick physical comedy type stuff.

If I had to picture your son, this is exactly how I would picture him GB

WHAT THE #### IS THIS SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

my link

 

[General Malaise]

Speaking of kids, what do you guys do for punishments?

Our 6 year old is having more and more difficulty listening lately. He definitely seems hyperactive and is constantly loud or just acting crazy, and the problem is exacerabated by my wife's migraines. Seems like there is a lot of stress in our household lately.

I know some part of this is him just being a kid, but it is like he can't help himself from running around or doing crazy slapstick physical comedy type stuff.

If I had to picture your son, this is exactly how I would picture him GB

WHAT THE #### IS THIS SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

it means that his dad probably takes pictures of how much food he can fit in his mouth and posts them on message boards

 

[Tecumseh]

SLB- You're a good man. Try not to whack the new neighbors.

 

[Fred Flintstone]

Speaking of kids, what do you guys do for punishments?

Our 6 year old is having more and more difficulty listening lately. He definitely seems hyperactive and is constantly loud or just acting crazy, and the problem is exacerabated by my wife's migraines. Seems like there is a lot of stress in our household lately.

I know some part of this is him just being a kid, but it is like he can't help himself from running around or doing crazy slapstick physical comedy type stuff.

If I had to picture your son, this is exactly how I would picture him GB

WHAT THE #### IS THIS SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

my link