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GM's thread about nothing (27 Viewers)
- Thread starter General Malaise
- Start date
kevzilla
Footballguy
Well then, you should be even drunker than me!
Kubes
Footballguy
Done
Homer J Simpson
I don't push
OK, I'm a page or two behond. Worked tonight anf my back is 87 kinds of effed up so I started pounding vodka the minute I stepped behind the bar. And then went to a ladyfriend's house for after-hours libations and ended up making out with the previouslyy mentioned 43 year old chick. So I left a bit ago and she texted me offering to come over and watch the Science Channel...that's
OK she's here, nevermind.
OK she's here, nevermind.
Samuel L Bronkowitz
Footballguy
7 pages to catch up on tomorrow. Might buy a car too. We'll see, but thats for another thread
Anyways my parents ditched me on Christmas. Yes, I said that.
My niece and nephew are coming up from Georgia next week, so my mom decided to have our big family Christmas on New Years Day (my wife's family does their big Christmas stuff on Christmas Eve). Cool, we can see all the family and the kids can open presents etc. No big deal, we've planned this for a few weeks right?
Wrong.
We drove 3 1/2 hours to get back home and see my parents. Granted my niece and nephew waren' t coming into town but I still wanted to see my parents and I hoped they would like to see my wife and I. We showed up at 3pm and found the front door locked. They never lock their door. I call my mom and she says "Oh you just missed us, we left about 3 minutes ago"
Me>So where are you going?
Mom>Oh, your sister invited us to her boyfriends' house
Me>Oh
Mom>We didn't think you were coming back to Milwaukee
Me>I told you last week that we were comiing back and that we would come over regardless
Mom>Oh, I'm sorry
Me>No problem. Pretty sure God wants you to acknowledge all your children but thats cool. <click>
She never mentioned that she was sorry. She never said "Why don't you come over and join us". She was more worried about my sister. So my wife and I had a ####yt dinner at a local bar that happened to be open. It was great for us but ####ty for our two person family. We could have done so much more.
During our talk, my wife and I had a pretty serious talk tonight. I'm pretty sure I love her family more than my own.
Is that bad?
I'm drunker than SLB in an after super bowl rams win. I'll catch up in the morning.
issedoff:
Anyways my parents ditched me on Christmas. Yes, I said that.
My niece and nephew are coming up from Georgia next week, so my mom decided to have our big family Christmas on New Years Day (my wife's family does their big Christmas stuff on Christmas Eve). Cool, we can see all the family and the kids can open presents etc. No big deal, we've planned this for a few weeks right?
Wrong.
We drove 3 1/2 hours to get back home and see my parents. Granted my niece and nephew waren' t coming into town but I still wanted to see my parents and I hoped they would like to see my wife and I. We showed up at 3pm and found the front door locked. They never lock their door. I call my mom and she says "Oh you just missed us, we left about 3 minutes ago"
Me>So where are you going?
Mom>Oh, your sister invited us to her boyfriends' house
Me>Oh
Mom>We didn't think you were coming back to Milwaukee
Me>I told you last week that we were comiing back and that we would come over regardless
Mom>Oh, I'm sorry
Me>No problem. Pretty sure God wants you to acknowledge all your children but thats cool. <click>
She never mentioned that she was sorry. She never said "Why don't you come over and join us". She was more worried about my sister. So my wife and I had a ####yt dinner at a local bar that happened to be open. It was great for us but ####ty for our two person family. We could have done so much more.
During our talk, my wife and I had a pretty serious talk tonight. I'm pretty sure I love her family more than my own.
Is that bad?
I'm drunker than SLB in an after super bowl rams win. I'll catch up in the morning.
issedoff:
Osaurus
Footballguy
They didn't know at first.
Crazy Canuck
Footballguy
XI know some pretty smart 20somethingers who think this movie is good.
I'm not saying I think it's good (it's ok), but I can see where they're coming from. It's stylized action. The 'stylizing' is the part that makes them think it's a cut above the rest. This same positive spin can be applied to the classic Steven McQueen film, Bullit. What a god awful film. But people love it and think it's a classic. Why? It's stylized action.
For contrast, I'd say The Matrix is a film that is stylized action but also has immense depth. The depth is what makes it a great film for me. Bullit and The Boondock Saints lack depth, which is why many people think they suck.
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Crazy Canuck
Footballguy
Some men drink themselves into blackouts.Homer drinks himself into Bizzaro Homer.
Gadzooks
Footballguy
At least you didn't get locked in the bathroom. And now you're celebrating Christmas on New Year's Day? I'm gonna go out on a limb and predict you're going to get silly drunk on New Year's Eve so you will be celebrating XMAS with a monster hangover with your family that you don't really like. Please post pics and blog throughout the day.Also I love it when you post while drunk. I usually have to re-read some sentences because they don't really make sense, but I'm always entertained.7 pages to catch up on tomorrow. Might buy a car too. We'll see, but thats for another threadAnyways my parents ditched me on Christmas. Yes, I said that.My niece and nephew are coming up from Georgia next week, so my mom decided to have our big family Christmas on New Years Day (my wife's family does their big Christmas stuff on Christmas Eve). Cool, we can see all the family and the kids can open presents etc. No big deal, we've planned this for a few weeks right?Wrong.We drove 3 1/2 hours to get back home and see my parents. Granted my niece and nephew waren' t coming into town but I still wanted to see my parents and I hoped they would like to see my wife and I. We showed up at 3pm and found the front door locked. They never lock their door. I call my mom and she says "Oh you just missed us, we left about 3 minutes ago"Me>So where are you going?Mom>Oh, your sister invited us to her boyfriends' houseMe>OhMom>We didn't think you were coming back to MilwaukeeMe>I told you last week that we were comiing back and that we would come over regardlessMom>Oh, I'm sorryMe>No problem. Pretty sure God wants you to acknowledge all your children but thats cool. <click>She never mentioned that she was sorry. She never said "Why don't you come over and join us". She was more worried about my sister. So my wife and I had a ####yt dinner at a local bar that happened to be open. It was great for us but ####ty for our two person family. We could have done so much more.During our talk, my wife and I had a pretty serious talk tonight. I'm pretty sure I love her family more than my own.Is that bad?I'm drunker than SLB in an after super bowl rams win. I'll catch up in the morning.
Gadzooks
Footballguy
Leggo's absolutely suck. I hate them. My brother and parents bought separate Leggo toys for Little 'Zooks that each contain over 500 little pieces. I told them I would kill them if they bought this horrible gift again for him. All the pieces come in separate little baggies, but there is no rhyme or reason as to how they organize what goes in each bag. I still haven't finished putting the dumb things together. I'm looking for a reason to get rid of them, so I'm hoping Little 'Zooks does something wrong so I can take this crap away as a punishment.
Funniest part of Christmas was that part of my GMTAN secret santa gift was discussed. Since I had my parents and one of my brothers coming over to my house for the day, I was frantically cleaning and basically just started piling things in the extra bedroom which is 90% a toy room from Little 'Zooks and 10% an office for me. So I had my Crock Pot from my SS still in the box sitting on my desk. My brother went in there to use my computer to show my Mother the new car he was going to buy. My mother asked when I got the Crock Pot and I told her it was xmas present. Mom then looked at my brother and said "you should get one of those, you know, because you live alone and you like pot roast and you could use for chicken too. You'd be using it all the time." And he was like "yeah actually that is a good idea, I would be using it all the time". They couldn't understand why I found this whole conversation so amusing.
Funniest part of Christmas was that part of my GMTAN secret santa gift was discussed. Since I had my parents and one of my brothers coming over to my house for the day, I was frantically cleaning and basically just started piling things in the extra bedroom which is 90% a toy room from Little 'Zooks and 10% an office for me. So I had my Crock Pot from my SS still in the box sitting on my desk. My brother went in there to use my computer to show my Mother the new car he was going to buy. My mother asked when I got the Crock Pot and I told her it was xmas present. Mom then looked at my brother and said "you should get one of those, you know, because you live alone and you like pot roast and you could use for chicken too. You'd be using it all the time." And he was like "yeah actually that is a good idea, I would be using it all the time". They couldn't understand why I found this whole conversation so amusing.
Crazy Canuck
Footballguy
SofaKings
Footballguy
Homer J Simpson
I don't push
Holy crap I have absolutely ZERO recollection of writing this or why in the world the Science Channel was mentioned. I'm an idiot. 
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
I think I was drunk for 4 straight days. Sorry to hear about the fam GB.
I have body parts that really hurt right now too.
Homer J Simpson
I don't push
What happened? Everybody die in a Nicaraguan firefight?
Homer J Simpson
I don't push
Time for some hair o the dog. I'm struggling.
Homer J Simpson
I don't push
http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o131/3putter/fb07e166.jpg
Vodka, Red Bull, and green tea. PJ's Go-Juice.
Heaven in a glass.
Vodka, Red Bull, and green tea. PJ's Go-Juice.
Heaven in a glass.
cosjobs
Footballguy
Can you smoke in a bar in Columbus? If you do, are you required to use a sardine can as an ashtray?
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
My liver was really hurting so I took a couple Oxycodones. I'm going to make some Ro-Tel dip in a minute thanks to Tecumseh. May or may not make my third batch of crock pot chicken.
Homer J Simpson
I don't push
Youngstown, not Columbus. But the answer is no, but my joint doesn't really follow, you know, laws and stuff. And it's an Altoids tin.
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
I've said it before and I'll say it again, laws are for suckers.Youngstown, not Columbus. But the answer is no, but my joint doesn't really follow, you know, laws and stuff. And it's an Altoids tin.
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
I was talking to one of my nephews yesterday and found out he used to play baseball in juco with Freeze. Freeze hit third, my nephew 4th. That guy doesn't shatter his leg and he would have been a pro for sure. My other nephew, his brother, was told that if he started this upcoming season as well as he finished the last, he would be called up to the MLB pretty quickly.
Also found out the inside scoop on the Pujols deal and some other dirt. Pretty jaded about sports right now.
ETA I'm going to see about getting a pic with Freeze while wearing my cat shirt. Also, you need a crock pot to make RoTel dip. Who knew? Thanks again GB Tecumseh.
Also found out the inside scoop on the Pujols deal and some other dirt. Pretty jaded about sports right now.
ETA I'm going to see about getting a pic with Freeze while wearing my cat shirt. Also, you need a crock pot to make RoTel dip. Who knew? Thanks again GB Tecumseh.
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Mr. Pickles
Footballguy
Hang in there.
Guster
Footballguy
You can't just tease us like that!!
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
The Gypsies?'General Malaise said:Lease would be my way to go on one of these. Fun rides, no doubt about it.Wife and I leased a beamer for three years when we were young and foolish. It was probably a waste of money but oh my god it was so awesome.'General Malaise said:Most of the BMW owners I've known in life would never get another. Maintenance is a real expensive beyotch with these things. Oil changes are more expensive and god help you when it's in the shop. For the money, I'd look at other luxury lines. Lexus, Acura, Infinti...they tend to grade out higher in consumer reviews/ownership loyalty. But sometimes, a guy just has to have a Beamer.'Keys Myaths said:
Whitey McWhiterson's wearing his jersey is the equivalent to this. This isn't coming from Freeze, actually somebody much higher in the organization. Sucks to find this out.'Guster said:
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General Malaise
Footballguy
Watching Judge Joe Brown...his little 'cop dog' totally wants to bone him. You guys ever catch this show? The female cop is wearing a mini-skirt, high heels and a police badge. Unreal.
SofaKings
Footballguy
Only thing on during your massage?
General Malaise
Footballguy
Home now, static.
General Malaise
Footballguy
Phil Mickelson is on TV pitching some arthritis drug (Shuke, HI!) that counts "paleness" as one of its many side effects. Paleness??? Is it possible that I've been taking Edsell my entire life and not ever known it?
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
Turns out this was a really bad idea.'St. Louis Bob said:
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
Thorn, good luck next week in the football pool. GM, my condolences. You were in it all year, suck man.
General Malaise
Footballguy
What a kick in the nards. I should have re-examined my picks. I knew Dallas was a loser. 
Binky The Doormat
Footballguy
I could have told you that "scripts" and attempts to make Rotel dip can really explode in your face.
Homer J Simpson
I don't push
And if she's a relative, I might want to marry her just so I can be part of the extended cat-shirt family.
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
What now?
kevzilla
Footballguy
We'll have to check with Homer tomorrow to see if he can decipher his own posts.
ArcticEdge
Footballguy
Happy Boxing Day GM!!! 
jplvr
Footballguy
Christmas at my dad's these days is usually fun. My stepsister's kid's are getting old enough to all have fun. Also, my dad put up a small basketball goal screwed into the studs in the basement. Also, he put the outside basketball goal at 7 feet in the hopes her oldest kid wouldn't want to sit on the iPad and play games all day. Well, naturally me and my BIL's spent the whole day playing, "what if I was born black," but his goal was achieved in that my oldest nephew spent the whole day playing with us. We let him win the game outside, but also made him work for it so I don't think he knew.
Also, upon opening gifts from Santa the other day, her youngest boy said, "you know," looking around to survey the damage from the morning, "I wasn't a very good boy this year, but Santa still came." He gets it, but I'm hoping his parents have the stones to hide all his Christmas presents next year in another room. He's right too. Some of his highlights from the year include whipping it out and peeing on the Academy Sports floor because his mom told him to hold it. She said she turned around less than 60 seconds later saying, "Ok, let's go to the bathroom." He repied, "Nope, all done," as she turned around just in time to see him pulling up his pants standing over the stain on the carpet. Also, they were in another public spot (maybe a baseball game) where twin his sister came running up to my stepsister crying, him following behind with his pecker out, screaming "Haha, you don't have one of these. Haha, you don't have one of these."
Also, upon opening gifts from Santa the other day, her youngest boy said, "you know," looking around to survey the damage from the morning, "I wasn't a very good boy this year, but Santa still came." He gets it, but I'm hoping his parents have the stones to hide all his Christmas presents next year in another room. He's right too. Some of his highlights from the year include whipping it out and peeing on the Academy Sports floor because his mom told him to hold it. She said she turned around less than 60 seconds later saying, "Ok, let's go to the bathroom." He repied, "Nope, all done," as she turned around just in time to see him pulling up his pants standing over the stain on the carpet. Also, they were in another public spot (maybe a baseball game) where twin his sister came running up to my stepsister crying, him following behind with his pecker out, screaming "Haha, you don't have one of these. Haha, you don't have one of these."
AhrnCityPahnder
Yinz-o-riffic
The scene: post xmas dinner, playing a party game with family.
the backstory: when shuffling baby ahrnie around earlier in the day, Mrs ACP randomly dropped something in my front chest pocket while trying to get a free hand.
the unfolding: during this game where there's about 25 of us in the living room, I get fidgety like I sometimes do…. and through my shirt, I'm playing with said item in my pocket.
realization sets in: Item in my pocket was a cover for a pacifier. It is shaped like a large nipple, and it was aligned correctly in my chest pocket where my nipple is. I am now rubbing and tweaking a large plastic nipple through my shirt that is in the perfect spot for where my actual nipple should be.
the horror: Oh jesus, is anybody looking at me?
the backstory: when shuffling baby ahrnie around earlier in the day, Mrs ACP randomly dropped something in my front chest pocket while trying to get a free hand.
the unfolding: during this game where there's about 25 of us in the living room, I get fidgety like I sometimes do…. and through my shirt, I'm playing with said item in my pocket.
realization sets in: Item in my pocket was a cover for a pacifier. It is shaped like a large nipple, and it was aligned correctly in my chest pocket where my nipple is. I am now rubbing and tweaking a large plastic nipple through my shirt that is in the perfect spot for where my actual nipple should be.
the horror: Oh jesus, is anybody looking at me?
charvik
Footballguy
NTTAWWT...
Guster
Footballguy
I hope she used lubeSimilar threads
