GM's thread about nothing (32 Viewers)

[Jeff Vader]

I'm going to need alias checks on like 10 guys in here before I post.

Yea, if only there were a thread to keep track of such things, one not derailed by mean-spirited people.

 

[Jeff Vader]

i ran 4 miles yesterday.

was someone/something chasing you?

if someone sneezes and you say "bless you", then they sneeze again, are you obligated to say "bless you" one more time or does the first one cover any additional sneezes?

No. The first failure was proof God doesn't exist, so you should probably be quiet. It's bad enough have chronic sneezing issues, don't give him a loss of faith to go with it.

my mother taught me to say it. im honoring my mother. why do you hate my mom? shes a pretty cool lady.

Then why do I keep sneezing? I've been blessed like five times today. What's you mom got against me, anyway?

 

[Stoneys]

Just found out that I will be heading to Las Vegas for work related meetings. Never been to there before. Not much of a gambler. Fremont Street Experience any good? Anything that I should not miss touristy-wise? Any GMTAN'ers going to be there the week of Aug 6th thru the 10th?

 

[Drifter]

Vegas is beautiful in August. Dress warm

 

[St. Louis Bob]

My little sister called last night, she wanted to talk to Cal. I think the last time she saw Cal was when he was 3.

Oh yeah, her new "boyfriend" is this guy. I wish Radical Larry was here. Brong<hi

ETA

I think he is the grandnephew of John McCain.

 

[Jeff Vader]

Just found out that I will be heading to Las Vegas for work related meetings. Never been to there before. Not much of a gambler. Fremont Street Experience any good? Anything that I should not miss touristy-wise? Any GMTAN'ers going to be there the week of Aug 6th thru the 10th?

Let New Otis be your Yoda.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

I'm going to need alias checks on like 10 guys in here before I post.

I'm Roarin Sonarin

You're one of the guys I had in mind.

Mr.Picles cannot recieve anymore massages.

Now he can.

 

[Guster]

My little sister called last night, she wanted to talk to Cal. I think the last time she saw Cal was when he was 3.

Oh yeah, her new "boyfriend" is this guy. I wish Radical Larry was here. Brong<hi

ETA

I think he is the grandnephew of John McCain.

While he hasn't provided stories yet, it sounds like you can probably add gm's liver to your sig

 

[General Malaise]

Yo - GM, I'm going to be in Portland Easter weekend with my wife and parents - wanna snuggle cornhole?

Can be with wives or without if you're up for it (the cornholing, not the snuggle. If we opt for snuggling I want you all to myself). Your call.

Despite the fact that I have no idea when Easter is, I should be up for this. Can you let me know where you're staying and what nights you are free?

 

[cosjobs]

Yo - GM, I'm going to be in Portland Easter weekend with my wife and parents - wanna snuggle cornhole?

Can be with wives or without if you're up for it (the cornholing, not the snuggle. If we opt for snuggling I want you all to myself). Your call.

GM, get one of these before snuggling at a cornhole with Drifter

 

[General Malaise]

The SW Airline drink coupons with no expiration date are no longer accepted unless you make real nice to the stewardess and feign complete ignorance.

I flew down to Texas on AA and flew back on SWA. I had about 8 coupons with me and when I left on Monday, I was in no shape to be drinking 8 drinks on a plane. So I did most of my damage in the airport bar and since my flight was delayed, I had more drinks than I probably should have and occupied a bar stool in what was a very crowded spot. One of the ladies that sat next to me was a delightful grandmother of 52 who might or might not have been hitting on me. Before she left, I gave her half my flight coupons. I hope she was able to work the free drink angle as well as I did. Kinda feel like a jackwagon for giving this nice lady 4 useless drink coupons, but oh well.

 

[Drifter]

Yo - GM, I'm going to be in Portland Easter weekend with my wife and parents - wanna snuggle cornhole?

Can be with wives or without if you're up for it (the cornholing, not the snuggle. If we opt for snuggling I want you all to myself). Your call.

Despite the fact that I have no idea when Easter is, I should be up for this. Can you let me know where you're staying and what nights you are free?

I think it's goign to be April 6th-9th. My parents are renting a house on the East side over a longer period. 6th probably won't work since my parents probably won't appreciate me arriving and then leaving, but the 7th or the 8th are both fair game. Not sure what the options might be on the 8th what with the celebration of zombie messiahs and all.

 

[General Malaise]

My little sister called last night, she wanted to talk to Cal. I think the last time she saw Cal was when he was 3.

Oh yeah, her new "boyfriend" is this guy. I wish Radical Larry was here. Brong<hi

ETA

I think he is the grandnephew of John McCain.

While he hasn't provided stories yet, it sounds like you can probably add gm's liver to your sig

Man, I don't even know where to start. If I do, it's going to be a LOT to type out. And I don't excel at editing. But there were some absolute uproarious (sp?) (is that even a word?) moments and my sides hurt so much from laughing that I have to seek out some serious business type of folks for the next few days. Oh, and jesus is punishing me now....we're having a girl. Can anybody teach me how to use a shotgun?

 

[Guster]

Oh, and jesus is punishing me now....we're having a girl. Can anybody teach me how to use a shotgun?

Congrats GBGM. At least she'll have two an older brothers to scare the boys away

And hey, if the one kid really is gay, he'll have someone to play dress up with

I all seriousness, I love having a daughter. There's something totally cool about having your daughter adore and look up to you.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Oh, and jesus is punishing me now....we're having a girl. Can anybody teach me how to use a shotgun?

Congrats!

 

[Zow]

My little sister called last night, she wanted to talk to Cal. I think the last time she saw Cal was when he was 3.

Oh yeah, her new "boyfriend" is this guy. I wish Radical Larry was here. Brong<hi

ETA

I think he is the grandnephew of John McCain.

While he hasn't provided stories yet, it sounds like you can probably add gm's liver to your sig

Man, I don't even know where to start. If I do, it's going to be a LOT to type out. And I don't excel at editing. But there were some absolute uproarious (sp?) (is that even a word?) moments and my sides hurt so much from laughing that I have to seek out some serious business type of folks for the next few days. Oh, and jesus is punishing me now....we're having a girl. Can anybody teach me how to use a shotgun?

congrats

 

[Drifter]

Oh, and jesus is punishing me now....we're having a girl. Can anybody teach me how to use a shotgun?

Congrats GBGM. At least she'll have two an older brothers to scare the boys away

And hey, if the one kid really is gay, he'll have someone to play dress up with

I all seriousness, I love having a daughter. There's something totally cool about having your daughter adore and look up to you.

True - my son has always been pretty even between affection to me and my wife but I am clearly my daughter's favorite. She screams like I'm Elvis when I get home from work. That's part of why you want to buy the shotgun once some young version of yourself is trying to stick his parts inside her.

 

[Zow]

Oh, and jesus is punishing me now....we're having a girl. Can anybody teach me how to use a shotgun?

Congrats GBGM. At least she'll have two an older brothers to scare the boys away

And hey, if the one kid really is gay, he'll have someone to play dress up with

I all seriousness, I love having a daughter. There's something totally cool about having your daughter adore and look up to you.

True - my son has always been pretty even between affection to me and my wife but I am clearly my daughter's favorite. She screams like I'm Elvis when I get home from work. That's part of why you want to buy the shotgun once some young version of yourself is trying to stick his parts inside her.

Good God I hope the younger guys looking to do stuff to my future daughter is a younger version of me. She'll be safe well into her college years.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

My little sister called last night, she wanted to talk to Cal. I think the last time she saw Cal was when he was 3.

Oh yeah, her new "boyfriend" is this guy. I wish Radical Larry was here. Brong<hi

ETA

I think he is the grandnephew of John McCain.

While he hasn't provided stories yet, it sounds like you can probably add gm's liver to your sig

Man, I don't even know where to start. If I do, it's going to be a LOT to type out. And I don't excel at editing. But there were some absolute uproarious (sp?) (is that even a word?) moments and my sides hurt so much from laughing that I have to seek out some serious business type of folks for the next few days. Oh, and jesus is punishing me now....we're having a girl. Can anybody teach me how to use a shotgun?

Congrats!!

 

[cosjobs]

My little sister called last night, she wanted to talk to Cal. I think the last time she saw Cal was when he was 3.

Oh yeah, her new "boyfriend" is this guy. I wish Radical Larry was here. Brong<hi

ETA

I think he is the grandnephew of John McCain.

While he hasn't provided stories yet, it sounds like you can probably add gm's liver to your sig

Man, I don't even know where to start. If I do, it's going to be a LOT to type out. And I don't excel at editing. But there were some absolute uproarious (sp?) (is that even a word?) moments and my sides hurt so much from laughing that I have to seek out some serious business type of folks for the next few days. Oh, and jesus is punishing me now....we're having a girl. Can anybody teach me how to use a shotgun?

Its not appropriate to shoot your babies, even if they are girls.

 

[mr. furley]

Despite the fact that I have no idea when Easter is,

 

[Samuel L Bronkowitz]

Congrats GM

I don't get to find out until the day it comes out

 

[mr. furley]

I don't get to find out until the day it comes out

:blink: have you learned nothing?

 

[Tiger Fan]

Congrats GM

Anyone playing hanging with friends, hit me up:

cpsilo1

 

[Samuel L Bronkowitz]

I don't get to find out until the day it comes out

:blink: have you learned nothing?

Pick my battles?

 

[mr. furley]

I don't get to find out until the day it comes out

:blink: have you learned nothing?

Pick my battles?

children are the devil!mine are lovely, however

 

[BigJohn]

I all seriousness, I love having a daughter. There's something totally cool about having your daughter adore and look up to you.

This.Congrats GBGM.

 

[General Malaise]

Despite the fact that I have no idea when Easter is,

OH COME ON! It's not like it's 4th of July or Christmas....on the same day every year. I've never quite understood how or why Easter bounces around the way it does. And they can't even figure out the same freaking month when to have it. So confusing. You pagans are all so complicated.

 

[General Malaise]

My little sister called last night, she wanted to talk to Cal. I think the last time she saw Cal was when he was 3.

Oh yeah, her new "boyfriend" is this guy. I wish Radical Larry was here. Brong<hi

ETA

I think he is the grandnephew of John McCain.

While he hasn't provided stories yet, it sounds like you can probably add gm's liver to your sig

Man, I don't even know where to start. If I do, it's going to be a LOT to type out. And I don't excel at editing. But there were some absolute uproarious (sp?) (is that even a word?) moments and my sides hurt so much from laughing that I have to seek out some serious business type of folks for the next few days. Oh, and jesus is punishing me now....we're having a girl. Can anybody teach me how to use a shotgun?

Its not appropriate to shoot your babies, even if they are girls.

Oh, I meant for me.

 

[General Malaise]

And thanks for all the kind words and well wishes, iFriends. Means a lot.

 

[BRONG]

I could not be any more excited.

After great success at the Whiskey, Fartbarf are playing their second gig in Hollywood tonight... At a STRIP CLUB! There hasn't been a better combination since peanut butter n' jelly. And opening for the famed trio, will be Lightin Woodcock and the Bad Mutha####az.

Fartbarf's link. (read Amber's comment, lofl)

Things just keep going up, up, up for Fartbarf. Wouldn't be the least bit surprised to see Fartbarf onstage at the Grammies next year.

And, there WILL be pics.

 

[General Malaise]

I have some Kripling to do. 5 days on the lamb (lam?) took its toll.

 

[General Malaise]

I could not be any more excited.

After great success at the Whiskey, Fartbarf are playing their second gig in Hollywood tonight... At a STRIP CLUB! There hasn't been a better combination since peanut butter n' jelly. And opening for the famed trio, will be Lightin Woodcock and the Bad Mutha####az.

Fartbarf's link. (read Amber's comment, lofl)

Things just keep going up, up, up for Fartbarf. Wouldn't be the least bit surprised to see Fartbarf onstage at the Grammies next year.

And, there WILL be pics.

I so want to 'like' this on FB, but I'm too afraid of explaining Fartbarf to my mother.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Oh, and jesus is punishing me now....we're having a girl. Can anybody teach me how to use a shotgun?

Congrats GBGM. At least she'll have two an older brothers to scare the boys away

And hey, if the one kid really is gay, he'll have someone to play dress up with

I all seriousness, I love having a daughter. There's something totally cool about having your daughter adore and look up to you.

True - my son has always been pretty even between affection to me and my wife but I am clearly my daughter's favorite. She screams like I'm Elvis when I get home from work. That's part of why you want to buy the shotgun once some young version of yourself is trying to stick his parts inside her.

Good God I hope the younger guys looking to do stuff to my future daughter is a younger version of me. She'll be safe well into her college years.

Vomit doesn't fertilize the egg. YWIA

 

[General Malaise]

My son (I'll let you guys guess which one) picked up the Recorder at school last month. He practices at home. Somebody needs to go back in time and kill the invetor of this 'instrument'. Our freaking cat streaks to the basement and hides everytime he breaks this thing out. I wouldn't wish this on anybody else.

 

[General Malaise]

Oh, and jesus is punishing me now....we're having a girl. Can anybody teach me how to use a shotgun?

Congrats GBGM. At least she'll have two an older brothers to scare the boys away

And hey, if the one kid really is gay, he'll have someone to play dress up with

I all seriousness, I love having a daughter. There's something totally cool about having your daughter adore and look up to you.

True - my son has always been pretty even between affection to me and my wife but I am clearly my daughter's favorite. She screams like I'm Elvis when I get home from work. That's part of why you want to buy the shotgun once some young version of yourself is trying to stick his parts inside her.

Good God I hope the younger guys looking to do stuff to my future daughter is a younger version of me. She'll be safe well into her college years.

Vomit doesn't fertilize the egg. YWIA

Between the vomit, the rapey 'deposit', the 2 fluid ounces and the failed experiences with paid professionals, this guy is either the most inept, creepily awkward man on the planet or the world's greatest shtick master. This is a pretty impressive body of work he's built.

 

[General Malaise]

I got home from work to find out that one of my boys got in trouble at school today. Except it isn't the usual culprit. According to the note, all of the kids were cleaning their play area, well, all but two girls that decided they would rather goof off. Dylan took it upon himself to yell "DAMN IT GIRLS! GET TO WORK!!!".

 

[General Malaise]

Just talked to my lawyer, my divorce will be final on April 15th.Feels good to finally have a date on the calendar.

Woo!!! Congrats. Only 2 more months. It's gonna feel great

Just talked to my lawyer, my divorce will be final on April 15th.Feels good to finally have a date on the calendar.

I was pretty pissed for a bit, because based on everything I did, my wife was suppose to have gotten her papers almost 2 weeks ago. Found out this morning it was my lawyer that held things up for those 2 weeks. I got over it pretty quickly. Just knowing the day, knowing it's now 59 days away, made me keep the journey in perspective.

I wish mine had been two days later. The difference between the court signing my decree December 30, which it did, or the next Monday ended up being about a $8k difference on my taxes (and not in my favor).

I seem to recall that being a major issue. If you are married for 364 days and your divorce is finalized on Dec. 31, the IRS wants you to file as 'divorced' for the calendar year on your tax return. Complete and utter BS, right? This is why people cheat on their taxes. STOP PORKING US!

 

[bentley]

Are we #####ing about our jobs in here? I have to go to Midland/Odessa for a couple days next week. Nobody should have to do that.

 

[shuke]

shuke will you do a shot for Evie?

Sorry I missed this. Who's Evie?

 

[General Malaise]

I thought teh Crue did "Girls Girls Girls".

 

[BRONG]

No idea, I was just told as much.

 

[bentley]

I thought teh Crue did "Girls Girls Girls".

They did.Tear #### up, Brong.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Drunk

as

Funk.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

I thought teh Crue did "Girls Girls Girls".

A little bit, yeah.

 

[General Malaise]

man, i love me some Brong.

Just tried to watch something on ABC called "Happy Endings". Made it 4 minutes. Brutal. I think we could write a better sit-com.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Getting ready for P ussyfartbarf!

The venue. This is where they filmed Van Halen's "Girls, Girls, Girls" video. I guess they play it at the top of every hour to signal dollar shots, lol. It's gonna get dirty up in here...but I'll be fine, brought knee and elbow pads for safe measure.

Half shirt?

 

[Homer J Simpson]

man, i love me some Brong.Just tried to watch something on ABC called "Happy Endings". Made it 4 minutes. Brutal. I think we could write a better sit-com.

I'm a total tv snob and I really like that show. Flawed for sure, but definitely enjoyable. Plus, there's Elisha Cuthbert.

 

[cosjobs]

man, i love me some Brong.Just tried to watch something on ABC called "Happy Endings". Made it 4 minutes. Brutal. I think we could write a better sit-com.

I'm a total tv snob and I really like that show. Flawed for sure, but definitely enjoyable. Plus, there's Elisha Cuthbert.

Solid comedy. Even more surprising is how good Cougar Town is.

 

[DA RAIDERS]

I could not be any more excited.

After great success at the Whiskey, Fartbarf are playing their second gig in Hollywood tonight... At a STRIP CLUB! There hasn't been a better combination since peanut butter n' jelly. And opening for the famed trio, will be Lightin Woodcock and the Bad Mutha####az.

Fartbarf's link. (read Amber's comment, lofl)

Things just keep going up, up, up for Fartbarf. Wouldn't be the least bit surprised to see Fartbarf onstage at the Grammies next year.

And, there WILL be pics.

Give me a heads up next time....