commisholio
Come out with your pants down!
how many drinks have i had and how likely is the guy to kick my ### afterwards?
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GM's thread about nothing (29 Viewers)
- Thread starter General Malaise
- Start date
-fish-
Footballguy
you've had enough to drink to do it, but not so much that you'll get your ### kicked afterward.
eaganwildcats
Footballguy
Just peed behind a friends place. I don't own my own home but enjoy peeing behind others - does this count?'TexanFan02 said:
Guster
Footballguy
I'd like to say do it, but knowing the string of bad luck you've had recently, you'd end up hitting him just right, snapping his neck, killing him and spending the rest of your life in prison
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Gadzooks
Footballguy
I did not attempt a shot video last night.
Josie Maran
Footballguy
And yet I received no video.I did not attempt a shot video last night.
Josie Maran
Footballguy
Apparently the last 20 pages or so.
UOFI_316
Footballguy
Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball!!
Osaurus
Footballguy
Josie Maran
Footballguy
If it ain't PedoBear, it ain't worth it.So that picture of me with Yogi Bear meant nothing to you?'Josie Maran said:And yet I received no video.'Gadzooks said:I did not attempt a shot video last night.'Gadzooks said:
charvik
Footballguy
Was thinking about this while driving to work before the crack of dawn... I don't think I know exactly what you would like to get out of the trip. Norway and Denmark, while close in proximity, are VERY different places.Norway is all about the nature experience, with exquisite scenery in a lot of places, if you drive north (you would have to have a car), but the cities generally suck. If you do decide that you want a more rustic vacation, get a car and want to do some hiking, Norway might work for you. I can be more specific if that's the route you'd like to take.'charvik said:
I would assume you would fly into Oslo in that case, but count on 3-4 hours driving to get to anywhere good. Oslo is neat, but very un-exciting... For a shorter trip, I just don't know if the value is there, as you almost need to drive half the length of Norway to get the full experience.
Copenhagen on the other hand is an awesome city with a little bit of everything.
Personally it's a no-brainer, but it really comes down to what you prefer...
I would add that I generally prefer the warmer Danes over the more introverted Norwegians (I'm generalizing somewhat)
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krista4
Footballguy
Thanks! My friend is visiting Stockholm, Tromso and Oslo and wanted me to join her in either Stockholm, where I've already been several times, or Oslo. Other parts of Norway looks of interest (I love to hike), but the more I look at Oslo, the less I think I could spend three days there. Thinking I'll either stick with my Copenhagen plan or at worst spend 2-3 days in Copenhagen and then join her for just one day in Oslo.
charvik
Footballguy
yeah, 3 days in Oslo would be like death for me, but I don't particularly enjoy that city... If you like hiking you definitely need to experience it some time, but I would think you need at least a week to take it in. 3-4 days is on the short side.
Gadzooks
Footballguy
"DON'T CALL IT A COMEBACK"
It wasn't enough that she wiggled her way up to stand in the 10 inch area between me and the bar and slowly rubbed her glorious 22 year old butt into my crotch, she then carelessly brushed her hand against my now tight pants and kept her hand against "me" for a brief moment as she turned to walk away and playfully giggled and whispered "oops, excuse me"
For nearly 5 months now I have some sort of strange "relationship" with the 22 YO. It is by far the strangest relationship I've ever been in. She has had a boyfriend the whole time (which I've known) and I have turned down several dates and possible sexual hookups with other girls. For several reasons there can be no long term future for her and I and we both know it. I'm sure we'll always remain friends on some level and that our physical relationship would end once she finishes Grad School next year and moves or if things with her boyfriend get more serious (he's currently in another state and they don't see each other very often) I have one friend in real life who knows everything about me and the 22 YO and I had told him recently that I thought things would probably be ending soon and that it would be best for me to move on. This friend is currently going thru a divorce and he almost hit me for not trying to keep this "relationship" going, or at least the AMAZING secks part of it. But last weekend he told me that I should get out of the "relationship" because he could tell I had feelings for her and that I was headed for heart break and instead of holding on for another year, I should get out of it now and start dating other people.
I told my buddy that I think I'm gonna ask out my dental hygenist who I've wanted to ask out in the past but she always had a boyfriend. She has been single for a while now and through mutual friends she has made it known that she would love to go out with me. We've flirted a little via Facebook and it's at the point that I need to either ask her out or just stop flirting with her. She's hot, great personality, loves sports, she just turned 30 and has said she wants to settle down soon and she loves kids and always comments on how adorable and funny my son is. It would seem that she is perfect for me BUT the only thing that is wrong with her is that she just isn't the 22 YO.
I felt that things would be ending soon because it just feels like things have a been a little distant between us for the last month. Though we've still "fooled around" a lot, we hadn't had the secks in about 3 weeks. Our "relationship" is not just about the secks, through numerous nights of us texting back and forth all night she knows more about me than anyone and I think I've spent more time just laughing with her over the past 5 months than I ever laughed in almost 6 years of marriage to my ex. But us not having the secks for so long is strange since we've been pretty much having it consistently and it's always been CRAZY. So anyways, we were both going to this Chamber thingy last night which is called "Fun at 5" and we always joke about how after that we always go back to my house for "Fun at 7". Last week she mentioned how she was looking forward to "Fun at 7" and that we really needed it. So I told my buddy that my strategy was to wait until Wednesday night and have secks with her 1 last time and then slowly break away and ask the dental hygenist out. He told me that was the smart thing to do, but he could tell that it wasn't what I wanted.
Fun at 5 last night: I saw her walk in the room and register at the check in table. As she walked away from the table she was looking all around the room and I saw 2 guys stop in front of her and start talking to her. She politely smiled but continued to scan the room as they talked to her. She then made eye contact with me and smiled and then walked away from the 2 guys as they were still talking and they both had a confused look on their face as walked toward me. I was in the middle of talking with a few people so she just walked up and smiled. A couple minutes later I went to the bar and thats when she came over and rubbed herself up against me. We spent the next hour exchanging glances and smiles across the room. For the last hour we just stood off in a corner of the room talking and she would affectionately grab my arm every time I made her laugh. There's something about forbidden and secret flirting that is a MAJOR turn on. As the official event was winding down at 7, the "host" of the event brought me over another drink and 22 YO then whispered to me "I'm leaving and going right to your house and I think you should follow me. And I need to leave now because I am so wet just standing next to you I'm afraid I might orgasm in another second in front of everyone". I put my drink down and bolted for the door and I think I stiff armed an older lady who was in my way.
Fun at 7 last night: We walk into my house and immediately start grabbing, groping, kissing and removing clothes. We make it upstairs to my bedroom and leave a trail of clothes on my stairs. "Secks" or "love making" doesn't quite fully describe the physical activity we engaged in. Every movement our naked bodies made were done in perfect rythm. Every spot we touched, the changing speeds, the words whispered, the moaning.... it was like our bodies were talking to each other. We were literally dancing in those sheets. We finished and then just layed there not saying a word because words were not necessary. It was AMAZING. I'm pretty sure that if my peenis could talk, it would've started singing "We Are The World" or maybe "Proud To Be An American". When she finally got dressed and was leaving she said how she couldn't wait to come again (pun intended) to my house and then texted throughout the night and early this morning about how incredible last night was.
My buddy called me this morning and asked how it went. I gave him the jist of what happened and he asked if that was "the last time" with her and if I'd be asking out the hygenist today like I had planned or if this meant things were back to normal with 22 YO. I said "obviously the smart thing to do is to move on and ask out the hygenist and see what happens with her.... So obviously I'm not going to do that, I'm meeting the 22 YO this afternoon for lunch secks"
The end. Time to go to "lunch".
It wasn't enough that she wiggled her way up to stand in the 10 inch area between me and the bar and slowly rubbed her glorious 22 year old butt into my crotch, she then carelessly brushed her hand against my now tight pants and kept her hand against "me" for a brief moment as she turned to walk away and playfully giggled and whispered "oops, excuse me"
For nearly 5 months now I have some sort of strange "relationship" with the 22 YO. It is by far the strangest relationship I've ever been in. She has had a boyfriend the whole time (which I've known) and I have turned down several dates and possible sexual hookups with other girls. For several reasons there can be no long term future for her and I and we both know it. I'm sure we'll always remain friends on some level and that our physical relationship would end once she finishes Grad School next year and moves or if things with her boyfriend get more serious (he's currently in another state and they don't see each other very often) I have one friend in real life who knows everything about me and the 22 YO and I had told him recently that I thought things would probably be ending soon and that it would be best for me to move on. This friend is currently going thru a divorce and he almost hit me for not trying to keep this "relationship" going, or at least the AMAZING secks part of it. But last weekend he told me that I should get out of the "relationship" because he could tell I had feelings for her and that I was headed for heart break and instead of holding on for another year, I should get out of it now and start dating other people.
I told my buddy that I think I'm gonna ask out my dental hygenist who I've wanted to ask out in the past but she always had a boyfriend. She has been single for a while now and through mutual friends she has made it known that she would love to go out with me. We've flirted a little via Facebook and it's at the point that I need to either ask her out or just stop flirting with her. She's hot, great personality, loves sports, she just turned 30 and has said she wants to settle down soon and she loves kids and always comments on how adorable and funny my son is. It would seem that she is perfect for me BUT the only thing that is wrong with her is that she just isn't the 22 YO.
I felt that things would be ending soon because it just feels like things have a been a little distant between us for the last month. Though we've still "fooled around" a lot, we hadn't had the secks in about 3 weeks. Our "relationship" is not just about the secks, through numerous nights of us texting back and forth all night she knows more about me than anyone and I think I've spent more time just laughing with her over the past 5 months than I ever laughed in almost 6 years of marriage to my ex. But us not having the secks for so long is strange since we've been pretty much having it consistently and it's always been CRAZY. So anyways, we were both going to this Chamber thingy last night which is called "Fun at 5" and we always joke about how after that we always go back to my house for "Fun at 7". Last week she mentioned how she was looking forward to "Fun at 7" and that we really needed it. So I told my buddy that my strategy was to wait until Wednesday night and have secks with her 1 last time and then slowly break away and ask the dental hygenist out. He told me that was the smart thing to do, but he could tell that it wasn't what I wanted.
Fun at 5 last night: I saw her walk in the room and register at the check in table. As she walked away from the table she was looking all around the room and I saw 2 guys stop in front of her and start talking to her. She politely smiled but continued to scan the room as they talked to her. She then made eye contact with me and smiled and then walked away from the 2 guys as they were still talking and they both had a confused look on their face as walked toward me. I was in the middle of talking with a few people so she just walked up and smiled. A couple minutes later I went to the bar and thats when she came over and rubbed herself up against me. We spent the next hour exchanging glances and smiles across the room. For the last hour we just stood off in a corner of the room talking and she would affectionately grab my arm every time I made her laugh. There's something about forbidden and secret flirting that is a MAJOR turn on. As the official event was winding down at 7, the "host" of the event brought me over another drink and 22 YO then whispered to me "I'm leaving and going right to your house and I think you should follow me. And I need to leave now because I am so wet just standing next to you I'm afraid I might orgasm in another second in front of everyone". I put my drink down and bolted for the door and I think I stiff armed an older lady who was in my way.
Fun at 7 last night: We walk into my house and immediately start grabbing, groping, kissing and removing clothes. We make it upstairs to my bedroom and leave a trail of clothes on my stairs. "Secks" or "love making" doesn't quite fully describe the physical activity we engaged in. Every movement our naked bodies made were done in perfect rythm. Every spot we touched, the changing speeds, the words whispered, the moaning.... it was like our bodies were talking to each other. We were literally dancing in those sheets. We finished and then just layed there not saying a word because words were not necessary. It was AMAZING. I'm pretty sure that if my peenis could talk, it would've started singing "We Are The World" or maybe "Proud To Be An American". When she finally got dressed and was leaving she said how she couldn't wait to come again (pun intended) to my house and then texted throughout the night and early this morning about how incredible last night was.
My buddy called me this morning and asked how it went. I gave him the jist of what happened and he asked if that was "the last time" with her and if I'd be asking out the hygenist today like I had planned or if this meant things were back to normal with 22 YO. I said "obviously the smart thing to do is to move on and ask out the hygenist and see what happens with her.... So obviously I'm not going to do that, I'm meeting the 22 YO this afternoon for lunch secks"
The end. Time to go to "lunch".
Gadzooks
Footballguy
Sorry to hear about the passing of your classmate **** Clark.
Josie Maran
Footballguy
Zooks, she has a boyfriend. Why the hell wouldn't you be playing the field as much as possible? Obviously things aren't exclusive...I'm just not getting your hesitance to bang around.
General Malaise
Footballguy
I wanted to join in on the video fun, but wanted to add a new spin to it. I was going to do a series of 'behind the camera' shots where I narrated the action impersonating FBG's most famed members. I was going to do you once I figured out how to mimic your speech patterns and tone to at least a passable degree, but with a comic spin to it that is commonly seen on SNL, though I admit I'm a mere hack. Thorn's Maine accent I can probably do now with some degree of funny thanks to years of camp in that fine state and the sounds of Milwaukie/Minnesota are rife for comic fodder and in my wheelhouse thanks to several Midwest friends and family ties in Michigan. It also helps that I've seen Fargo 100 times and that Sammy has given me yards of material to work with.But the easiest impersonation for me is of course our good buddy Cosjobs since his accent is thick and I was raised in his home state. So he was the first and most logical target and last night I finally had some free time to myself where I could record the action without explaining myself to my wife, in-laws, parents, cousins, sons, co-workers, friends, co-coaches or my cat, whom I refuse to surrender my dignity to. It's bad enough he watches me scoop out his litter box. I'll be damned if he's going to watch me film myself for innernet friends.'shuke said:Removed already?'Mrs. Sacamano said:
Anyhow, I did one take in a rush, put it on youtube, threw it up here under an alias (wanted to try and remain in character, but realized that was foolish as I don't have any undiscovered alias and I linked right to my personal youtube) and sat back to watch the laughs roll in. Nothing. Nobody saw it. First person to respond was Cosjobs and he was offended.
I felt bad and took it down. I thought it was funny and was just busting balls. Considering I get a Powder the Pale guy joke thrown at me once a day, I figured it was okay for me to goof on others, especially if the goof isn't personal. I guess I crossed a line by coughing. I thought it was tame, but if it hurts feelings, I'm going to try and respect that. I was going to be a little more harsh on others, especially my good buddy Shuke, but if a joke flops, I'm not going to keep plugging away at it.
But #### it was funny. I don't care what anybody says. I laughed.
Corky
Footballguy
Feel free to bust my balls, Casper.I wanted to join in on the video fun, but wanted to add a new spin to it. I was going to do a series of 'behind the camera' shots where I narrated the action impersonating FBG's most famed members. I was going to do you once I figured out how to mimic your speech patterns and tone to at least a passable degree, but with a comic spin to it that is commonly seen on SNL, though I admit I'm a mere hack. Thorn's Maine accent I can probably do now with some degree of funny thanks to years of camp in that fine state and the sounds of Milwaukie/Minnesota are rife for comic fodder and in my wheelhouse thanks to several Midwest friends and family ties in Michigan. It also helps that I've seen Fargo 100 times and that Sammy has given me yards of material to work with.But the easiest impersonation for me is of course our good buddy Cosjobs since his accent is thick and I was raised in his home state. So he was the first and most logical target and last night I finally had some free time to myself where I could record the action without explaining myself to my wife, in-laws, parents, cousins, sons, co-workers, friends, co-coaches or my cat, whom I refuse to surrender my dignity to. It's bad enough he watches me scoop out his litter box. I'll be damned if he's going to watch me film myself for innernet friends.'shuke said:Removed already?'Mrs. Sacamano said:
Anyhow, I did one take in a rush, put it on youtube, threw it up here under an alias (wanted to try and remain in character, but realized that was foolish as I don't have any undiscovered alias and I linked right to my personal youtube) and sat back to watch the laughs roll in. Nothing. Nobody saw it. First person to respond was Cosjobs and he was offended.
I felt bad and took it down. I thought it was funny and was just busting balls. Considering I get a Powder the Pale guy joke thrown at me once a day, I figured it was okay for me to goof on others, especially if the goof isn't personal. I guess I crossed a line by coughing. I thought it was tame, but if it hurts feelings, I'm going to try and respect that. I was going to be a little more harsh on others, especially my good buddy Shuke, but if a joke flops, I'm not going to keep plugging away at it.
But #### it was funny. I don't care what anybody says. I laughed.
Marvin
Footballguy
4/10
General Malaise
Footballguy
I might embarrass the guy and yell at the top of my lungs that he's porking a married woman who's daughter is in the hospital while the husband who is getting cheated on tends to her. I'm sure the guy would want to pick a fight and from there, I'd take it outside. But if you just cold #### a guy in a public establishment, you'll probably go to jail. Especially in the tender hearted Pacific Northwest. Not worth that, IMO.'-fish- said:
General Malaise
Footballguy
I don't even know who you are.Feel free to bust my balls, Casper.I wanted to join in on the video fun, but wanted to add a new spin to it. I was going to do a series of 'behind the camera' shots where I narrated the action impersonating FBG's most famed members. I was going to do you once I figured out how to mimic your speech patterns and tone to at least a passable degree, but with a comic spin to it that is commonly seen on SNL, though I admit I'm a mere hack. Thorn's Maine accent I can probably do now with some degree of funny thanks to years of camp in that fine state and the sounds of Milwaukie/Minnesota are rife for comic fodder and in my wheelhouse thanks to several Midwest friends and family ties in Michigan. It also helps that I've seen Fargo 100 times and that Sammy has given me yards of material to work with.But the easiest impersonation for me is of course our good buddy Cosjobs since his accent is thick and I was raised in his home state. So he was the first and most logical target and last night I finally had some free time to myself where I could record the action without explaining myself to my wife, in-laws, parents, cousins, sons, co-workers, friends, co-coaches or my cat, whom I refuse to surrender my dignity to. It's bad enough he watches me scoop out his litter box. I'll be damned if he's going to watch me film myself for innernet friends.'shuke said:Removed already?'Mrs. Sacamano said:
Anyhow, I did one take in a rush, put it on youtube, threw it up here under an alias (wanted to try and remain in character, but realized that was foolish as I don't have any undiscovered alias and I linked right to my personal youtube) and sat back to watch the laughs roll in. Nothing. Nobody saw it. First person to respond was Cosjobs and he was offended.
I felt bad and took it down. I thought it was funny and was just busting balls. Considering I get a Powder the Pale guy joke thrown at me once a day, I figured it was okay for me to goof on others, especially if the goof isn't personal. I guess I crossed a line by coughing. I thought it was tame, but if it hurts feelings, I'm going to try and respect that. I was going to be a little more harsh on others, especially my good buddy Shuke, but if a joke flops, I'm not going to keep plugging away at it.
But #### it was funny. I don't care what anybody says. I laughed.
GB the suburbs...
Corky
Footballguy
Yeah. I don't recognize myself these days either. Since the Boxer is on hiatus until July.I don't even know who you are.Feel free to bust my balls, Casper.I wanted to join in on the video fun, but wanted to add a new spin to it. I was going to do a series of 'behind the camera' shots where I narrated the action impersonating FBG's most famed members. I was going to do you once I figured out how to mimic your speech patterns and tone to at least a passable degree, but with a comic spin to it that is commonly seen on SNL, though I admit I'm a mere hack. Thorn's Maine accent I can probably do now with some degree of funny thanks to years of camp in that fine state and the sounds of Milwaukie/Minnesota are rife for comic fodder and in my wheelhouse thanks to several Midwest friends and family ties in Michigan. It also helps that I've seen Fargo 100 times and that Sammy has given me yards of material to work with.But the easiest impersonation for me is of course our good buddy Cosjobs since his accent is thick and I was raised in his home state. So he was the first and most logical target and last night I finally had some free time to myself where I could record the action without explaining myself to my wife, in-laws, parents, cousins, sons, co-workers, friends, co-coaches or my cat, whom I refuse to surrender my dignity to. It's bad enough he watches me scoop out his litter box. I'll be damned if he's going to watch me film myself for innernet friends.'shuke said:Removed already?'Mrs. Sacamano said:
Anyhow, I did one take in a rush, put it on youtube, threw it up here under an alias (wanted to try and remain in character, but realized that was foolish as I don't have any undiscovered alias and I linked right to my personal youtube) and sat back to watch the laughs roll in. Nothing. Nobody saw it. First person to respond was Cosjobs and he was offended.
I felt bad and took it down. I thought it was funny and was just busting balls. Considering I get a Powder the Pale guy joke thrown at me once a day, I figured it was okay for me to goof on others, especially if the goof isn't personal. I guess I crossed a line by coughing. I thought it was tame, but if it hurts feelings, I'm going to try and respect that. I was going to be a little more harsh on others, especially my good buddy Shuke, but if a joke flops, I'm not going to keep plugging away at it.
But #### it was funny. I don't care what anybody says. I laughed.
Notorious T.R.E.
Showdown!™ Administrator
How many drinks have I had? What kind of neighborhood am I in? Does this guy know me?
Marvin
Footballguy
Are you drinking the blue barbicide or getting your haircut in a barbershop where people crap on the floor?I just took a dump that smelled like a barber shop.
Corky
Footballguy
Neither. Which is why I felt it worth mentioning.Are you drinking the blue barbicide or getting your haircut in a barbershop where people crap on the floor?I just took a dump that smelled like a barber shop.
Marvin
Footballguy
I don't believe it then.Neither. Which is why I felt it worth mentioning.Are you drinking the blue barbicide or getting your haircut in a barbershop where people crap on the floor?I just took a dump that smelled like a barber shop.
Frostillicus
Footballguy
You love her, she loves you. You guys are idiots.
Gadzooks
Footballguy
The way that started out, I thought you were taking some moral high road and going to reprimand me for doing things with a girl who has a boyfriend. I didn't know who you were at first, but then I was relieved to see that you're just upset that I'm not banging around with others. And as for your question.... I really don't have an answer
Gadzooks
Footballguy
Shut up cupid!!!!BTW... you're ok with me sending Mrs. Frosty a friend request, right?
No. 16
Footballguy
Because you have feelings for her?
Gadzooks
Footballguy
Because you have feelings for her?
Grow up.... jerk faces.
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
My father taught me that you should never hit another man in anger unless you are absolutely sure to get away with it.Every man needs a woman, and I need youTo lift me when I am sadTo comfort me when I am downTo clean me when I am a drunkTo walk beside me when I want to look like I'm not gayTo walk in front of me when I need someone to act as a human windbreakTo kiss me when I'm hornyTo massage when I am tense and/or hornyTo make me horny when I'm not horny,and then to watch me fall asleep.I need you, darling,to clean between my toes when they are not clean to my satisfaction.To pick the nits out of my hair when I have head liceTo try milk for me when I am not sure of the expiration date.To be there when I need you to be thereand to be out of town the rest of the timeMy darling, although it may seem sentimentalI want to take this moment to tell you I love you,because I don't want to lose half my stuff.'-fish- said:
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Serious question here...what if she said she'd dump the BF to take things seriously with you. Would you be afraid that she would find "another gadzooks" after awhile?
Notorious T.R.E.
Showdown!™ Administrator
I peed on fatguyinalittlecoat's house when Zilla and I dropped him off at his house in March. :flex:
Thorn
Footballguy
It is so obvious.Because you have feelings for her?Grow up.... jerk faces.
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