GM's thread about nothing (33 Viewers)

[Bogart]

Bogart: "When are you going to stop pooping your pants?"

My young daughter: (with a straight face) "June."

 

[shuke]

I realize I need to spring into the 21st century and pay money for Netflix to stream through my BlueTooth or somesuch, but I don't have a clue how to do that or where to start and I don't really want a monthly expense.

 

[shuke]

A lot of times when other people post , I think they're either being condescending or simpletons.

 

[kevzilla]

Heading out somewhere to meet cosjobs and drink something on a Wednesday night. What could go wrong?

 

[charvik]

4 interviews over wedn. to fri. 1 offer in already from a company that knows me. I suspect I'll have something signed by Friday afternoon.

 

[Mr.Pack]

Bogart: "When are you going to stop pooping your pants?"My young daughter: (with a straight face) "June."

 

[Mr.Pack]

4 interviews over wedn. to fri. 1 offer in already from a company that knows me. I suspect I'll have something signed by Friday afternoon.

What do you do?

 

[charvik]

Consulting/Management

 

[Mr.Pack]

Consulting/Management

Cool, good luck.

 

[charvik]

Consulting/Management

Cool, good luck.

Thanks. I'm in a good position right now due to extreme shortage in my field of expertise.

 

[Marvin]

Simpleton

My link

No way.

 

[Marvin]

Listening to my wife on the phone with a customer. Obviously I can only hear one side of the conversation but if I had my wife's job I would have hung up 10 minutes ago.

 

[Mr.Pack]

Listening to my wife on the phone with a customer. Obviously I can only hear one side of the conversation but if I had my wife's job I would have hung up 10 minutes ago.

Yea, dealing with the public can be a trying experience.I had a guy call me a couple weeks ago saying he bought an ink cartridge 2 years ago and just got around to putting it into his printer and it doesn't work.Really, 2 years??? Try taking it back to OfficeMax or someplace and see what they tell you.

 

[Binky The Doormat]

Bogart: "When are you going to stop pooping your pants?"My young daughter: (with a straight face) "June."

That is funny - that kid is going places.

 

[shuke]

Was listening to the Reds game the other day and there was a rain delay. During long rain delays the broadcast teams will take calls to talk Reds and baseball. This guy calls in and sounded like an old hillbilly, and blatantly mispronounced every name he brought up in the conversation. Referred to Scott Rolen as Scott Rolex, Zack Cozart as "that Mozart kid", Doug Flynn as Errol Flynn, etc.

Tanner shtick sweeping the nation.

 

[Marvin]

Was listening to the Reds game the other day and there was a rain delay. During long rain delays the broadcast teams will take calls to talk Reds and baseball. This guy calls in and sounded like an old hillbilly, and blatantly mispronounced every name he brought up in the conversation. Referred to Scott Rolen as Scott Rolex, Zack Cozart as "that Mozart kid", Doug Flynn as Errol Flynn, etc.

Tanner shtick sweeping the nation.

I approve of this. Did he say Mike Costanza or Brian Ludwig?

 

[Samuel L Bronkowitz]

Listening to my wife on the phone with a customer. Obviously I can only hear one side of the conversation but if I had my wife's job I would have hung up 10 minutes ago.

Yea, dealing with the public can be a trying experience.I had a guy call me a couple weeks ago saying he bought an ink cartridge 2 years ago and just got around to putting it into his printer and it doesn't work.Really, 2 years??? Try taking it back to OfficeMax or someplace and see what they tell you.

Sorry about that. I thought the 1020 would work in the 3020.

 

[Good Posting Judge]

Took my 2 year-old to the park, and we're on the swings per usual. There are some bigger kids on the playground, 11-12 yo., running around, but I don't really pay attention. A couple of them are playing tag, and one runs behind the path of my kid on the swing, and they collide.

My kid is stunned, and eventually starts crying, but ultimately no damage done. She did look like she was going to vomit initially, but I have kept an eye on her and she seems fine. I should also add that the older kid was wearing a Mavericks hat, so I should've known this junior rocket scientist he was going to somehow find the path of a swinging child in a park that's a square mile. When it happened, I sneered "Watch out, mother####er", and he sheepishly apologized and wouldn't look over at us for the rest of the time we were there. I realize this isn't typically how adults are supposed to speak to children, and I also realize that adults typically aren't supposed to slowly drive past the park when they leave, so as to possibly put a further dose of fear in yung Nowitzki.

By the time she's in college, I'm pretty sure it'll graduate to planting drugs in other kid's cars, leaving bullets in mailboxes, etc. I know terrorists are bad people, but man, I get it. I really do.

 

[Marvin]

@ calling a 6th grader an MFer.

 

[Good Posting Judge]

@ calling a 6th grader an MFer.

went to something else.

 

[proninja]

Took my 2 year-old to the park, and we're on the swings per usual. There are some bigger kids on the playground, 11-12 yo., running around, but I don't really pay attention. A couple of them are playing tag, and one runs behind the path of my kid on the swing, and they collide.My kid is stunned, and eventually starts crying, but ultimately no damage done. She did look like she was going to vomit initially, but I have kept an eye on her and she seems fine. I should also add that the older kid was wearing a Mavericks hat, so I should've known this junior rocket scientist he was going to somehow find the path of a swinging child in a park that's a square mile. When it happened, I sneered "Watch out, mother####er", and he sheepishly apologized and wouldn't look over at us for the rest of the time we were there. I realize this isn't typically how adults are supposed to speak to children, and I also realize that adults typically aren't supposed to slowly drive past the park when they leave, so as to possibly put a further dose of fear in yung Nowitzki.By the time she's in college, I'm pretty sure it'll graduate to planting drugs in other kid's cars, leaving bullets in mailboxes, etc. I know terrorists are bad people, but man, I get it. I really do.

If that 11 year old's dad was around, he had grounds to kytfo.

 

[Good Posting Judge]

Took my 2 year-old to the park, and we're on the swings per usual. There are some bigger kids on the playground, 11-12 yo., running around, but I don't really pay attention. A couple of them are playing tag, and one runs behind the path of my kid on the swing, and they collide.My kid is stunned, and eventually starts crying, but ultimately no damage done. She did look like she was going to vomit initially, but I have kept an eye on her and she seems fine. I should also add that the older kid was wearing a Mavericks hat, so I should've known this junior rocket scientist he was going to somehow find the path of a swinging child in a park that's a square mile. When it happened, I sneered "Watch out, mother####er", and he sheepishly apologized and wouldn't look over at us for the rest of the time we were there. I realize this isn't typically how adults are supposed to speak to children, and I also realize that adults typically aren't supposed to slowly drive past the park when they leave, so as to possibly put a further dose of fear in yung Nowitzki.By the time she's in college, I'm pretty sure it'll graduate to planting drugs in other kid's cars, leaving bullets in mailboxes, etc. I know terrorists are bad people, but man, I get it. I really do.

If that 11 year old's dad was around, he had grounds to kytfo.

Shouldn't the physical violence be performed on the person who sired the Mong?

 

[General Malaise]

Did you scowl your eyebrow at him?

 

[Marvin]

@ calling a 6th grader an MFer.

Oh don't get me wrong. I would consider it justified. I'm pretty sure I suppress the urge to drop F-bombs at kids about 75 times a day.

 

[Marvin]

I've got this cartoon projected on my screen. It's at least 4ft by 4ft. Female student: "Which one is Uncle Sam?"

[slb]Can't believe you jimmies didn't laugh at that [/slb]I can't believe I forgot about the kid in first period that wasn't to clear on Uncle Sam either:

Kid: Wait, that guy in the pants is Uncle Sam?

Me: Uhhh...yeah.

Kid: I thought he was black.

Me: wat

Kid: Remember that book we talked about? The one about slavery? Uncle Sam's Cabin?

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

Link didn't work for me so I was more mad than lol

 

[-fish-]

Hi, GMTAN.

I'm fish, and I make poor decisions with women. Or maybe they're brilliant--I'm not really sure. After a depressing down period, I'm now back up to dating four women. This is clearly not my skillset. I usually just do one train wreck at a time.

The new lineup, with some players returning:

Twenty-something with a long-distance boyfriend 1000 miles away. We have a deal that if she's still single as of Sept. 25, 2014 we're getting married. I think this may be serious. In the meantime, we keep taking trips together. Next one is to Vegas, because she likes strippers and gambling.

Knuckles. 'nuff said

33 year old trial lawyer. Met her in passing; tossed out an invitation to happy hour--she just called and set it up for Monday. She's sorta hot.

36 year old with a PhD in economics. I have no idea what she does for a living, but she seems to make boatloads of cash. Met online, went to a driving range and then drinks for a first date. She's very cute.

Went out boating/drinking with the first two in Sunday. Bad idea? Of course. Somehow I pulled it off.

I expect three of these women to hate me with a vengeance by the end of the month. Stay tuned.

 

[-fish-]

Why is Uncle Sam wearing a coconut bra?

 

[Marvin]

Link didn't work for me so I was more mad than lol

this work?

 

[-fish-]

Oh, and I think I hate Shuke (or is it GM?) I'm in a hotel in San Jose and I actually checked for porn under my mattress.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

I was sexually propositioned by a guy at a highway rest stop today.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

Also, check out today's t-shirt at woot. If Tanner and Bob don't have it by next week, I will be sorely disappointed.

 

[bostonfred]

I was sexually propositioned by a guy at a highway rest stop today.

How was it?

 

[heckmanm]

So, apparently Donovan McNabb can throw it into the ocean.

 

[Osaurus]

Greetings from the Tampa airport...

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Took my 2 year-old to the park, and we're on the swings per usual. There are some bigger kids on the playground, 11-12 yo., running around, but I don't really pay attention. A couple of them are playing tag, and one runs behind the path of my kid on the swing, and they collide.

My kid is stunned, and eventually starts crying, but ultimately no damage done. She did look like she was going to vomit initially, but I have kept an eye on her and she seems fine. I should also add that the older kid was wearing a Mavericks hat, so I should've known this junior rocket scientist he was going to somehow find the path of a swinging child in a park that's a square mile. When it happened, I sneered "Watch out, mother####er", and he sheepishly apologized and wouldn't look over at us for the rest of the time we were there. I realize this isn't typically how adults are supposed to speak to children, and I also realize that adults typically aren't supposed to slowly drive past the park when they leave, so as to possibly put a further dose of fear in yung Nowitzki.

By the time she's in college, I'm pretty sure it'll graduate to planting drugs in other kid's cars, leaving bullets in mailboxes, etc. I know terrorists are bad people, but man, I get it. I really do.

Vengeance is a dish best served by me.

Why is Uncle Sam wearing a coconut bra?

I was more impressed by the Wu-Tang prediction in the upper left corner.

Also, check out today's t-shirt at woot. If Tanner and Bob don't have it by next week, I will be sorely disappointed.

Considering I liked the NOES movies in the 80's, in a lol this is horrible kind of way:

Your order number 37993724 for 1 Nightmeow on Elm Street has been received by Woot on 5/17/2012 and your credit card has been charged $12.00.

 

[shamwow!]

I've got this cartoon projected on my screen. It's at least 4ft by 4ft. Female student: "Which one is Uncle Sam?"

[slb]Can't believe you jimmies didn't laugh at that [/slb]I can't believe I forgot about the kid in first period that wasn't to clear on Uncle Sam either:

Kid: Wait, that guy in the pants is Uncle Sam?

Me: Uhhh...yeah.

Kid: I thought he was black.

Me: wat

Kid: Remember that book we talked about? The one about slavery? Uncle Sam's Cabin?

Hi, GMTAN.

I'm fish, and I make poor decisions with women. Or maybe they're brilliant--I'm not really sure. After a depressing down period, I'm now back up to dating four women. This is clearly not my skillset. I usually just do one train wreck at a time.

The new lineup, with some players returning:

Twenty-something with a long-distance boyfriend 1000 miles away. We have a deal that if she's still single as of Sept. 25, 2014 we're getting married. I think this may be serious. In the meantime, we keep taking trips together. Next one is to Vegas, because she likes strippers and gambling.

Knuckles. 'nuff said

33 year old trial lawyer. Met her in passing; tossed out an invitation to happy hour--she just called and set it up for Monday. She's sorta hot.

36 year old with a PhD in economics. I have no idea what she does for a living, but she seems to make boatloads of cash. Met online, went to a driving range and then drinks for a first date. She's very cute.

Went out boating/drinking with the first two in Sunday. Bad idea? Of course. Somehow I pulled it off.

I expect three of these women to hate me with a vengeance by the end of the month. Stay tuned.

Hold up now. You took Knuckles out with the twentysomethings? My notebook is awful, but -Didn't Knuckles meet the twentysomethings before and flip out? Don't they hate her? Didn't they once send her a bunch of nasty texts while you sat drunkenly by, laughing?

I admire your love of labia explosive.

 

[nysportsfan]

As a guidance counselor and baseball coach I hear more than I should. Yesterday, however, one of my players told me that as part of a senior road race (read: scavenger hunt), he had a chick eat a donut off his ####.

 

[shamwow!]

As a guidance counselor and baseball coach I hear more than I should. Yesterday, however, one of my players told me that as part of a senior road race (read: scavenger hunt), he had a chick eat a donut off his ####.

Someone forward this to TheDom.

 

[bostonfred]

We did scavenger hunts all wrong.

 

[Gadzooks]

Tanner I have a new found respect for you.

Like everyone else, I usually think of you as this really old, creepy, non-attractive, bi-curious school teacher. But today I look at you differently. I spent the morning at the local high school doing a presentation in the auditorium on basic banking. Good Lord teenagers are idiots. Dumb questions, ridiculous clothing, awful haircuts and a few of them fell asleep and didn't even try to pretend to hide it and I made sure to point them out to everyone else in hopes of embarrassing them. Some of the chicks were hot, so that it made it somewhat tolerable. But man, I would not want to be a teacher and deal with teen-aged kids all day.

No offense to any of you that have teen-agers who aren't idiots. I'm sure all the GMTAN teen-agers out there are brilliant and well dressed.

 

[Marvin]

Also, check out today's t-shirt at woot. If Tanner and Bob don't have it by next week, I will be sorely disappointed.

I have to sign up to buy a $12 t-shirt?

 

[urbanhack]

Tanner - Like everyone else, I usually think of you as this really old, creepy, non-attractive, bi-curious school teacher.

pin it?

 

[Marvin]

Tanner I have a new found respect for you.Like everyone else, I usually think of you as this really old, creepy, non-attractive, bi-curious school teacher. But today I look at you differently. I spent the morning at the local high school doing a presentation in the auditorium on basic banking. Good Lord teenagers are idiots. Dumb questions, ridiculous clothing, awful haircuts and a few of them fell asleep and didn't even try to pretend to hide it and I made sure to point them out to everyone else in hopes of embarrassing them. Some of the chicks were hot, so that it made it somewhat tolerable. But man, I would not want to be a teacher and deal with teen-aged kids all day. No offense to any of you that have teen-agers who aren't idiots. I'm sure all the GMTAN teen-agers out there are brilliant and well dressed.

I'VE BEEN TELLING PEOPLE THIS FOR YEARS!ETA: The part about kids being idiots. Not the part about me being creepy, old, and bi-curious. For the record I am no longer bi-curious.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Tanner I have a new found respect for you.

Like everyone else, I usually think of you as this really old, creepy, non-attractive, bi-curious school teacher. But today I look at you differently. I spent the morning at the local high school doing a presentation in the auditorium on basic banking. Good Lord teenagers are idiots. Dumb questions, ridiculous clothing, awful haircuts and a few of them fell asleep and didn't even try to pretend to hide it and I made sure to point them out to everyone else in hopes of embarrassing them. Some of the chicks were hot, so that it made it somewhat tolerable. But man, I would not want to be a teacher and deal with teen-aged kids all day.

No offense to any of you that have teen-agers who aren't idiots. I'm sure all the GMTAN teen-agers out there are brilliant and well dressed.

I'VE BEEN TELLING PEOPLE THIS FOR YEARS!ETA: The part about kids being idiots. Not the part about me being creepy, old, and bi-curious. For the record I am no longer bi-curious.

My link

 

[Marvin]

Tanner I have a new found respect for you.

Like everyone else, I usually think of you as this really old, creepy, non-attractive, bi-curious school teacher. But today I look at you differently. I spent the morning at the local high school doing a presentation in the auditorium on basic banking. Good Lord teenagers are idiots. Dumb questions, ridiculous clothing, awful haircuts and a few of them fell asleep and didn't even try to pretend to hide it and I made sure to point them out to everyone else in hopes of embarrassing them. Some of the chicks were hot, so that it made it somewhat tolerable. But man, I would not want to be a teacher and deal with teen-aged kids all day.

No offense to any of you that have teen-agers who aren't idiots. I'm sure all the GMTAN teen-agers out there are brilliant and well dressed.

I'VE BEEN TELLING PEOPLE THIS FOR YEARS!ETA: The part about kids being idiots. Not the part about me being creepy, old, and bi-curious. For the record I am no longer bi-curious.

My link

Reminds me of the pic Homer posted on FB.

 

[Marvin]

BTW: I think I need a publicist. The local paper ran an article today about an upcoming charity trivia event. I was on the team that won last year (let's face it...I was THE team). The article mentioned that our team was the defending champs but didn't mention me by name. Ridiculous.

 

[proninja]

This is not a parody site.

http://pastorfashion.com

 

[Homer J Simpson]

Tanner I have a new found respect for you.

Like everyone else, I usually think of you as this really old, creepy, non-attractive, bi-curious school teacher. But today I look at you differently. I spent the morning at the local high school doing a presentation in the auditorium on basic banking. Good Lord teenagers are idiots. Dumb questions, ridiculous clothing, awful haircuts and a few of them fell asleep and didn't even try to pretend to hide it and I made sure to point them out to everyone else in hopes of embarrassing them. Some of the chicks were hot, so that it made it somewhat tolerable. But man, I would not want to be a teacher and deal with teen-aged kids all day.

No offense to any of you that have teen-agers who aren't idiots. I'm sure all the GMTAN teen-agers out there are brilliant and well dressed.

I'VE BEEN TELLING PEOPLE THIS FOR YEARS!ETA: The part about kids being idiots. Not the part about me being creepy, old, and bi-curious. For the record I am no longer bi-curious.

My link

Reminds me of the pic Homer posted on FB.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Simpleton

My link

No way.

I guess he doesn't have peanut allergies. Probably can't keep the monkey away from them now though.

Listening to my wife on the phone with a customer. Obviously I can only hear one side of the conversation but if I had my wife's job I would have hung up 10 minutes ago.

Yea, dealing with the public can be a trying experience.I had a guy call me a couple weeks ago saying he bought an ink cartridge 2 years ago and just got around to putting it into his printer and it doesn't work.

Really, 2 years??? Try taking it back to OfficeMax or someplace and see what they tell you.