GM's thread about nothing (52 Viewers)

[pricklypete]

GM - resist the urge to get a soft, squishy saddle.

You want a saddle that will focus all of your heft onto your sit bones - your ischial tuberosities are two little bony protrustions from your pelvis. Soft, squishy saddles spread the weight off of your sit bones and all over everywhere, onto your soft tissue. When you put weight on soft tissue it compresses. When you compress the soft tissue in your perineum one centimeter you cut off all blood flow to your penis. If you do this long enough, you develop scar tissue in your penis and you can't get a boner anymore. While I doubt you're going to be sitting on your bike for 5 hours at a time, take it from a guy who knows - even an hour or two can be enough to, when you get home from your wife, have one of those "THIS IS THE FIRST TIME THIS HAS HAPPENED TO ME!!11" moments. Then sitting on a hard saddle doesn't seem so bad.

I was thinking something more like this.

Not this.

 

[proninja]

GM - resist the urge to get a soft, squishy saddle.

You want a saddle that will focus all of your heft onto your sit bones - your ischial tuberosities are two little bony protrustions from your pelvis. Soft, squishy saddles spread the weight off of your sit bones and all over everywhere, onto your soft tissue. When you put weight on soft tissue it compresses. When you compress the soft tissue in your perineum one centimeter you cut off all blood flow to your penis. If you do this long enough, you develop scar tissue in your penis and you can't get a boner anymore. While I doubt you're going to be sitting on your bike for 5 hours at a time, take it from a guy who knows - even an hour or two can be enough to, when you get home from your wife, have one of those "THIS IS THE FIRST TIME THIS HAS HAPPENED TO ME!!11" moments. Then sitting on a hard saddle doesn't seem so bad.

I was thinking something more like this.

Not this.

I can't get the first link to work, but good. This is what I've got for my bike I ride without padded shorts.

 

[Disco Stu]

GM - resist the urge to get a soft, squishy saddle.

You want a saddle that will focus all of your heft onto your sit bones - your ischial tuberosities are two little bony protrustions from your pelvis. Soft, squishy saddles spread the weight off of your sit bones and all over everywhere, onto your soft tissue. When you put weight on soft tissue it compresses. When you compress the soft tissue in your perineum one centimeter you cut off all blood flow to your penis. If you do this long enough, you develop scar tissue in your penis and you can't get a boner anymore. While I doubt you're going to be sitting on your bike for 5 hours at a time, take it from a guy who knows - even an hour or two can be enough to, when you get home from your wife, have one of those "THIS IS THE FIRST TIME THIS HAS HAPPENED TO ME!!11" moments. Then sitting on a hard saddle doesn't seem so bad.

I was thinking something more like this.

Not this.

I can't get the first link to work, but good. This is what I've got for my bike I ride without padded shorts.

Are padded shorts bad?

 

[proninja]

GM - resist the urge to get a soft, squishy saddle.

You want a saddle that will focus all of your heft onto your sit bones - your ischial tuberosities are two little bony protrustions from your pelvis. Soft, squishy saddles spread the weight off of your sit bones and all over everywhere, onto your soft tissue. When you put weight on soft tissue it compresses. When you compress the soft tissue in your perineum one centimeter you cut off all blood flow to your penis. If you do this long enough, you develop scar tissue in your penis and you can't get a boner anymore. While I doubt you're going to be sitting on your bike for 5 hours at a time, take it from a guy who knows - even an hour or two can be enough to, when you get home from your wife, have one of those "THIS IS THE FIRST TIME THIS HAS HAPPENED TO ME!!11" moments. Then sitting on a hard saddle doesn't seem so bad.

I was thinking something more like this.

Not this.

I can't get the first link to work, but good. This is what I've got for my bike I ride without padded shorts.

Are padded shorts bad?

Padded shorts are awesome, and if I'm going to be on my bike for a while I won't ride without them. But if I want to get on my bike, ride 15 minutes, hang out at the bar, then ride home, I don't exactly want to show up in spandex and bike shoes.

 

[Disco Stu]

GM - resist the urge to get a soft, squishy saddle.

You want a saddle that will focus all of your heft onto your sit bones - your ischial tuberosities are two little bony protrustions from your pelvis. Soft, squishy saddles spread the weight off of your sit bones and all over everywhere, onto your soft tissue. When you put weight on soft tissue it compresses. When you compress the soft tissue in your perineum one centimeter you cut off all blood flow to your penis. If you do this long enough, you develop scar tissue in your penis and you can't get a boner anymore. While I doubt you're going to be sitting on your bike for 5 hours at a time, take it from a guy who knows - even an hour or two can be enough to, when you get home from your wife, have one of those "THIS IS THE FIRST TIME THIS HAS HAPPENED TO ME!!11" moments. Then sitting on a hard saddle doesn't seem so bad.

I was thinking something more like this.

Not this.

I can't get the first link to work, but good. This is what I've got for my bike I ride without padded shorts.

Are padded shorts bad?

Padded shorts are awesome, and if I'm going to be on my bike for a while I won't ride without them. But if I want to get on my bike, ride 15 minutes, hang out at the bar, then ride home, I don't exactly want to show up in spandex and bike shoes.

Ah, ok good. Had me worried about penis scars for a minute.

 

[Disco Stu]

Didn't expect to say that today.

 

[Osaurus]

GM - resist the urge to get a soft, squishy saddle.

You want a saddle that will focus all of your heft onto your sit bones - your ischial tuberosities are two little bony protrustions from your pelvis. Soft, squishy saddles spread the weight off of your sit bones and all over everywhere, onto your soft tissue. When you put weight on soft tissue it compresses. When you compress the soft tissue in your perineum one centimeter you cut off all blood flow to your penis. If you do this long enough, you develop scar tissue in your penis and you can't get a boner anymore. While I doubt you're going to be sitting on your bike for 5 hours at a time, take it from a guy who knows - even an hour or two can be enough to, when you get home from your wife, have one of those "THIS IS THE FIRST TIME THIS HAS HAPPENED TO ME!!11" moments. Then sitting on a hard saddle doesn't seem so bad.

I was thinking something more like this.

Not this.

I can't get the first link to work, but good. This is what I've got for my bike I ride without padded shorts.

Are padded shorts bad?

Padded shorts are awesome, and if I'm going to be on my bike for a while I won't ride without them. But if I want to get on my bike, ride 15 minutes, hang out at the bar, then ride home, I don't exactly want to show up in spandex and bike shoes.

Ah, ok good. Had me worried about penis scars for a minute.

Band name?

 

[pricklypete]

Didn't expect to say that today.

I had a buddy had problems with his taint cable.

 

[UniAlias]

Confirmed

(Also bumping this to remind Guster of the first cornhole video shot.)

somehow forgot about that one

I forgot how uneven those shots were. The *******. The whiskey karma gods got back at him Saturday night. Tenfold.

Throwing up warm whiskey on stage in front of everyone at the end of the night wasn't my finest moment. You were definitely the Joe Nathan of beer pong. All I remember is that you were possibly older than two of the girls we were playing combined, and I kept calling one a stupid #### because she was mean. I think I may have also offended my black friend at some point.

We should definitely do a Dallas cornhole sometime. Just no ####### warm whiskey shots.

 

[cosjobs]

GM - resist the urge to get a soft, squishy saddle.

You want a saddle that will focus all of your heft onto your sit bones - your ischial tuberosities are two little bony protrustions from your pelvis. Soft, squishy saddles spread the weight off of your sit bones and all over everywhere, onto your soft tissue. When you put weight on soft tissue it compresses. When you compress the soft tissue in your perineum one centimeter you cut off all blood flow to your penis. If you do this long enough, you develop scar tissue in your penis and you can't get a boner anymore. While I doubt you're going to be sitting on your bike for 5 hours at a time, take it from a guy who knows - even an hour or two can be enough to, when you get home from your wife, have one of those "THIS IS THE FIRST TIME THIS HAS HAPPENED TO ME!!11" moments. Then sitting on a hard saddle doesn't seem so bad.

I was thinking something more like this.

Not this.

I can't get the first link to work, but good. This is what I've got for my bike I ride without padded shorts.

Are padded shorts bad?

Padded shorts are awesome, and if I'm going to be on my bike for a while I won't ride without them. But if I want to get on my bike, ride 15 minutes, hang out at the bar, then ride home, I don't exactly want to show up in spandex and bike shoes.

These types of seats don't trquire any padded shorts

 

[General Malaise]

My wife had a baby boy 2 weeks ago. I am not so sure that he looks like me, but he certainly looks like his big sister (who people have claimed looks like me - poor girl). Anyway, so at least the same guy got my wife pregnant both times.

P.S. holy cow this kid poops a lot. Oh, and big sister has cried more today than little dude has since he was born. Girls are crazy.

Congrats, GB.

 

[General Malaise]

wife just made me TWO breakfast egg sandos...english muffins, tillamook extra sharp reserved white cheddar, fried egg, tobasco (sp?)....there's not a better egg sando out there. I think we could sell these out of a food cart.

Shuke, do I have your permission to use your likeness designing our food cart? I have....an idea.

When a cheese needs six adjectives and the sandwich has four ingredients, I feel like its being sold by the Tillamook Super Grand Awesome Happy Fancy Marketing team.

Sooooooo goooooood....

It's a fine white cheddar, but you're really overplaying this hand.

Just trying to make small talk.

 

[cosjobs]

Sonata it is. I still cannot believe I'm buying a Hyundai, even if its for the wife. BUt we drove a dozen cars and liked this one the best. Got it cheaper than anything except the Mazda6, but its more nicely equipped (power seats, bluetooth, etc.. Throw in the 60K bumper to bumper and I had to do it. A lot of car for 19.8 and they even gave me what my tradein was worth.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Sonata it is. I still cannot believe I'm buying a Hyundai, even if its for the wife. BUt we drove a dozen cars and liked this one the best. Got it cheaper than anything except the Mazda6, but its more nicely equipped (power seats, bluetooth, etc.. Throw in the 60K bumper to bumper and I had to do it. A lot of car for 19.8 and they even gave me what my tradein was worth.

Hyundai has been putting in work. Respect.

 

[bentley]

My wife had a baby boy 2 weeks ago. I am not so sure that he looks like me, but he certainly looks like his big sister (who people have claimed looks like me - poor girl). Anyway, so at least the same guy got my wife pregnant both times.

P.S. holy cow this kid poops a lot. Oh, and big sister has cried more today than little dude has since he was born. Girls are crazy.

Congrats, GB.

This. Congratulations.

 

[General Malaise]

GM - resist the urge to get a soft, squishy saddle. You want a saddle that will focus all of your heft onto your sit bones - your ischial tuberosities are two little bony protrustions from your pelvis. Soft, squishy saddles spread the weight off of your sit bones and all over everywhere, onto your soft tissue. When you put weight on soft tissue it compresses. When you compress the soft tissue in your perineum one centimeter you cut off all blood flow to your penis. If you do this long enough, you develop scar tissue in your penis and you can't get a boner anymore. While I doubt you're going to be sitting on your bike for 5 hours at a time, take it from a guy who knows - even an hour or two can be enough to, when you get home from your wife, have one of those "THIS IS THE FIRST TIME THIS HAS HAPPENED TO ME!!11" moments. Then sitting on a hard saddle doesn't seem so bad.

Huh. I've gone from excited about getting a bike to save on gas/lose weight to terrified at all the unknowns. You bike people are serious serious bidness. I don't want to spend a grip here...

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

wife just made me TWO breakfast egg sandos...english muffins, tillamook extra sharp reserved white cheddar, fried egg, tobasco (sp?)....there's not a better egg sando out there. I think we could sell these out of a food cart.

Shuke, do I have your permission to use your likeness designing our food cart? I have....an idea.

When a cheese needs six adjectives and the sandwich has four ingredients, I feel like its being sold by the Tillamook Super Grand Awesome Happy Fancy Marketing team.

Sooooooo goooooood....

It's a fine white cheddar, but you're really overplaying this hand.

Just trying to make small talk.

I like. I'd take Black Diamond over it, but it's close. There's also this new brand of pre-sliced white cheddar at Costco that I like, can't recall the name though.

 

[proninja]

GM - resist the urge to get a soft, squishy saddle. You want a saddle that will focus all of your heft onto your sit bones - your ischial tuberosities are two little bony protrustions from your pelvis. Soft, squishy saddles spread the weight off of your sit bones and all over everywhere, onto your soft tissue. When you put weight on soft tissue it compresses. When you compress the soft tissue in your perineum one centimeter you cut off all blood flow to your penis. If you do this long enough, you develop scar tissue in your penis and you can't get a boner anymore. While I doubt you're going to be sitting on your bike for 5 hours at a time, take it from a guy who knows - even an hour or two can be enough to, when you get home from your wife, have one of those "THIS IS THE FIRST TIME THIS HAS HAPPENED TO ME!!11" moments. Then sitting on a hard saddle doesn't seem so bad.

Huh. I've gone from excited about getting a bike to save on gas/lose weight to terrified at all the unknowns. You bike people are serious serious bidness. I don't want to spend a grip here...

I may or may not over analyze things. Get a bike and a helmet. Enjoy riding it. Figure the other stuff out if any issues come up. You'll be fine.

 

[General Malaise]

GM - resist the urge to get a soft, squishy saddle. You want a saddle that will focus all of your heft onto your sit bones - your ischial tuberosities are two little bony protrustions from your pelvis. Soft, squishy saddles spread the weight off of your sit bones and all over everywhere, onto your soft tissue. When you put weight on soft tissue it compresses. When you compress the soft tissue in your perineum one centimeter you cut off all blood flow to your penis. If you do this long enough, you develop scar tissue in your penis and you can't get a boner anymore. While I doubt you're going to be sitting on your bike for 5 hours at a time, take it from a guy who knows - even an hour or two can be enough to, when you get home from your wife, have one of those "THIS IS THE FIRST TIME THIS HAS HAPPENED TO ME!!11" moments. Then sitting on a hard saddle doesn't seem so bad.

Huh. I've gone from excited about getting a bike to save on gas/lose weight to terrified at all the unknowns. You bike people are serious serious bidness. I don't want to spend a grip here...

I may or may not over analyze things. Get a bike and a helmet. Enjoy riding it. Figure the other stuff out if any issues come up. You'll be fine.

Not a chance I'm trying that after the penis scarring talk.

Might be the only thing standing between me and a 4th kid. Doesn't sound SO bad when put in context.

 

[phishphan]

GM - resist the urge to get a soft, squishy saddle. You want a saddle that will focus all of your heft onto your sit bones - your ischial tuberosities are two little bony protrustions from your pelvis. Soft, squishy saddles spread the weight off of your sit bones and all over everywhere, onto your soft tissue. When you put weight on soft tissue it compresses. When you compress the soft tissue in your perineum one centimeter you cut off all blood flow to your penis. If you do this long enough, you develop scar tissue in your penis and you can't get a boner anymore. While I doubt you're going to be sitting on your bike for 5 hours at a time, take it from a guy who knows - even an hour or two can be enough to, when you get home from your wife, have one of those "THIS IS THE FIRST TIME THIS HAS HAPPENED TO ME!!11" moments. Then sitting on a hard saddle doesn't seem so bad.

Huh. I've gone from excited about getting a bike to save on gas/lose weight to terrified at all the unknowns. You bike people are serious serious bidness. I don't want to spend a grip here...

I may or may not over analyze things. Get a bike and a helmet. Enjoy riding it. Figure the other stuff out if any issues come up. You'll be fine.

Not a chance I'm trying that after the penis scarring talk.

not only am I NOT going to start riding a bike, I'm going to start running bicyclists off the road. Maybe those few minutes they spend off their seat and in a ditch will save their future erections.

 

[General Malaise]

wife just made me TWO breakfast egg sandos...english muffins, tillamook extra sharp reserved white cheddar, fried egg, tobasco (sp?)....there's not a better egg sando out there. I think we could sell these out of a food cart.

Shuke, do I have your permission to use your likeness designing our food cart? I have....an idea.

When a cheese needs six adjectives and the sandwich has four ingredients, I feel like its being sold by the Tillamook Super Grand Awesome Happy Fancy Marketing team.

Sooooooo goooooood....

It's a fine white cheddar, but you're really overplaying this hand.

Just trying to make small talk.

I like. I'd take Black Diamond over it, but it's close. There's also this new brand of pre-sliced white cheddar at Costco that I like, can't recall the name though.

Can't imagine anything tasting better than Tillamooks aged white cheddar, but I'll try anything. We are considering a Costco membership for the first time in years. That place sets my blood pressure to a bad number. When I shop, I like to go in, get what I need and flee like a man committing a robery. Costco is like dancing in quicksand with overweight sloths blocking every move you need to make. The free samples only adds to the madness. I'm too high strung for it. This is why I would encourage everybody to try shopping at Rite Aid just once to get a glimpse of the easy life.

 

[proninja]

Can't imagine anything tasting better than Tillamooks aged white cheddar, but I'll try anything. We are considering a Costco membership for the first time in years. That place sets my blood pressure to a bad number. When I shop, I like to go in, get what I need and flee like a man committing a robery. Costco is like dancing in quicksand with overweight sloths blocking every move you need to make. The free samples only adds to the madness. I'm too high strung for it. This is why I would encourage everybody to try shopping at Rite Aid just once to get a glimpse of the easy life.

I do my best to leave Costco trips to the wife. I hate it in there.

 

[EYLive]

What's the protocol on wedding gifts when bringing a date?

I am attending a gb's wedding next month and I RSVP'd as a single attendee and have a cash gift in mind. My buddy suggests I bring a date to keep the bride from pushing her chubby bridesmaids on me. I probably will bring a date, but I'm not sure if I need to increase my gift by 50% - 100% for the extra person I'll be bringing to the reception. Please advise. TIA.

 

[General Malaise]

What's the protocol on wedding gifts when bringing a date?I am attending a gb's wedding next month and I RSVP'd as a single attendee and have a cash gift in mind. My buddy suggests I bring a date to keep the bride from pushing her chubby bridesmaids on me. I probably will bring a date, but I'm not sure if I need to increase my gift by 50% - 100% for the extra person I'll be bringing to the reception. Please advise. TIA.

How much cash we talking about?

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

wife just made me TWO breakfast egg sandos...english muffins, tillamook extra sharp reserved white cheddar, fried egg, tobasco (sp?)....there's not a better egg sando out there. I think we could sell these out of a food cart.

Shuke, do I have your permission to use your likeness designing our food cart? I have....an idea.

When a cheese needs six adjectives and the sandwich has four ingredients, I feel like its being sold by the Tillamook Super Grand Awesome Happy Fancy Marketing team.

Sooooooo goooooood....

It's a fine white cheddar, but you're really overplaying this hand.

Just trying to make small talk.

I like. I'd take Black Diamond over it, but it's close. There's also this new brand of pre-sliced white cheddar at Costco that I like, can't recall the name though.

Can't imagine anything tasting better than Tillamooks aged white cheddar, but I'll try anything. We are considering a Costco membership for the first time in years. That place sets my blood pressure to a bad number. When I shop, I like to go in, get what I need and flee like a man committing a robery. Costco is like dancing in quicksand with overweight sloths blocking every move you need to make. The free samples only adds to the madness. I'm too high strung for it. This is why I would encourage everybody to try shopping at Rite Aid just once to get a glimpse of the easy life.

I have the short Costco trip pretty much down to a science now. The addition of self checkout is a huge bonus.

 

[EYLive]

What's the protocol on wedding gifts when bringing a date?I am attending a gb's wedding next month and I RSVP'd as a single attendee and have a cash gift in mind. My buddy suggests I bring a date to keep the bride from pushing her chubby bridesmaids on me. I probably will bring a date, but I'm not sure if I need to increase my gift by 50% - 100% for the extra person I'll be bringing to the reception. Please advise. TIA.

How much cash we talking about?

Originally ~$75/Home Depot gift card.The girls at work say no increase is necessary. But then again, they're dumb girls so

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

So, not really cash at all then.

 

[General Malaise]

Can't imagine anything tasting better than Tillamooks aged white cheddar, but I'll try anything. We are considering a Costco membership for the first time in years. That place sets my blood pressure to a bad number. When I shop, I like to go in, get what I need and flee like a man committing a robery. Costco is like dancing in quicksand with overweight sloths blocking every move you need to make. The free samples only adds to the madness. I'm too high strung for it. This is why I would encourage everybody to try shopping at Rite Aid just once to get a glimpse of the easy life.

I do my best to leave Costco trips to the wife. I hate it in there.

I'm sure there's a good time to go, but I never seemed to find it when I used to go. One other thing I never could understand - Diapers. It would stand to reason that Costco would be the best place to buy them. And at certain times, they are. But unless things have changed, they would only carry sizes for certain ages. What the hell is that all about? And it's not just diapers. I would rely on certain items being there in one spot over and over and then one day I'd walk in and *POOOF* that item would be gone. Just....gone. Nobody who worked there would ever explain it to me in a way that made any sense. You know who doesn't pull crap like that? Rite Aid.

 

[General Malaise]

wife just made me TWO breakfast egg sandos...english muffins, tillamook extra sharp reserved white cheddar, fried egg, tobasco (sp?)....there's not a better egg sando out there. I think we could sell these out of a food cart.

Shuke, do I have your permission to use your likeness designing our food cart? I have....an idea.

When a cheese needs six adjectives and the sandwich has four ingredients, I feel like its being sold by the Tillamook Super Grand Awesome Happy Fancy Marketing team.

Sooooooo goooooood....

It's a fine white cheddar, but you're really overplaying this hand.

Just trying to make small talk.

I like. I'd take Black Diamond over it, but it's close. There's also this new brand of pre-sliced white cheddar at Costco that I like, can't recall the name though.

Can't imagine anything tasting better than Tillamooks aged white cheddar, but I'll try anything. We are considering a Costco membership for the first time in years. That place sets my blood pressure to a bad number. When I shop, I like to go in, get what I need and flee like a man committing a robery. Costco is like dancing in quicksand with overweight sloths blocking every move you need to make. The free samples only adds to the madness. I'm too high strung for it. This is why I would encourage everybody to try shopping at Rite Aid just once to get a glimpse of the easy life.

I have the short Costco trip pretty much down to a science now. The addition of self checkout is a huge bonus.

Now we're talking....they didn't have that last time I went. An Express Lane wouldn't have killed them either.

 

[General Malaise]

Can't imagine anything tasting better than Tillamooks aged white cheddar, but I'll try anything. We are considering a Costco membership for the first time in years. That place sets my blood pressure to a bad number. When I shop, I like to go in, get what I need and flee like a man committing a robery. Costco is like dancing in quicksand with overweight sloths blocking every move you need to make. The free samples only adds to the madness. I'm too high strung for it. This is why I would encourage everybody to try shopping at Rite Aid just once to get a glimpse of the easy life.

I do my best to leave Costco trips to the wife. I hate it in there.

I'm sure there's a good time to go, but I never seemed to find it when I used to go. One other thing I never could understand - Diapers. It would stand to reason that Costco would be the best place to buy them. And at certain times, they are. But unless things have changed, they would only carry sizes for certain ages. What the hell is that all about? And it's not just diapers. I would rely on certain items being there in one spot over and over and then one day I'd walk in and *POOOF* that item would be gone. Just....gone. Nobody who worked there would ever explain it to me in a way that made any sense.

You know who doesn't pull crap like that? Rite Aid.

Course their meat selection isn't any good.

 

[EYLive]

So, not really cash at all then.

I have not made a final decision. Cash would be easiest. But I want to do the gift card so that my friend can use it on tools and manly stuff and not have his wife spend it on bed skirts and pink hand towels.I can just as easily up the gift card value if that's what's called for.

 

[General Malaise]

What's the protocol on wedding gifts when bringing a date?I am attending a gb's wedding next month and I RSVP'd as a single attendee and have a cash gift in mind. My buddy suggests I bring a date to keep the bride from pushing her chubby bridesmaids on me. I probably will bring a date, but I'm not sure if I need to increase my gift by 50% - 100% for the extra person I'll be bringing to the reception. Please advise. TIA.

How much cash we talking about?

Originally ~$75/Home Depot gift card.The girls at work say no increase is necessary. But then again, they're dumb girls so

Hmmmm.....Did they register at Home Depot? My advise (which is only based on going through two marraiges and attending too many more to count) would be to eat the HD card and give them $100 in a nice card with a poem you steal from the internet.

 

[EYLive]

What's the protocol on wedding gifts when bringing a date?I am attending a gb's wedding next month and I RSVP'd as a single attendee and have a cash gift in mind. My buddy suggests I bring a date to keep the bride from pushing her chubby bridesmaids on me. I probably will bring a date, but I'm not sure if I need to increase my gift by 50% - 100% for the extra person I'll be bringing to the reception. Please advise. TIA.

How much cash we talking about?

Originally ~$75/Home Depot gift card.The girls at work say no increase is necessary. But then again, they're dumb girls so

Hmmmm.....Did they register at Home Depot? My advise (which is only based on going through two marraiges and attending too many more to count) would be to eat the HD card and give them $100 in a nice card with a poem you steal from the internet.

They registered at Target, Potty Barn etc...^33% sounds reasonable.

 

[General Malaise]

So, not really cash at all then.

I have not made a final decision. Cash would be easiest. But I want to do the gift card so that my friend can use it on tools and manly stuff and not have his wife spend it on bed skirts and pink hand towels.I can just as easily up the gift card value if that's what's called for.

Women are like elephants...they never forget. If you go the route you're going now, his wife will make a mental note of it and will give you the stink eye. Sending her chubby friends to dance with you will pale in comparison to the treatment you'll get after the wedding. Your heart is in the right place, but when it comes to weddings, you should give a gift they will BOTH enjoy. Go get a Benjamin from the bank, throw it in a card, pilfer a poem, ??, profit, done.

 

[proninja]

So, not really cash at all then.

I have not made a final decision. Cash would be easiest. But I want to do the gift card so that my friend can use it on tools and manly stuff and not have his wife spend it on bed skirts and pink hand towels.I can just as easily up the gift card value if that's what's called for.

Women are like elephants...they never forget. If you go the route you're going now, his wife will make a mental note of it and will give you the stink eye. Sending her chubby friends to dance with you will pale in comparison to the treatment you'll get after the wedding. Your heart is in the right place, but when it comes to weddings, you should give a gift they will BOTH enjoy. Go get a Benjamin from the bank, throw it in a card, pilfer a poem, ??, profit, done.

Know what makes your friend happier than tools? A happy wife that likes his friends.

 

[proninja]

Can't imagine anything tasting better than Tillamooks aged white cheddar, but I'll try anything. We are considering a Costco membership for the first time in years. That place sets my blood pressure to a bad number. When I shop, I like to go in, get what I need and flee like a man committing a robery. Costco is like dancing in quicksand with overweight sloths blocking every move you need to make. The free samples only adds to the madness. I'm too high strung for it. This is why I would encourage everybody to try shopping at Rite Aid just once to get a glimpse of the easy life.

I do my best to leave Costco trips to the wife. I hate it in there.

I'm sure there's a good time to go, but I never seemed to find it when I used to go. One other thing I never could understand - Diapers. It would stand to reason that Costco would be the best place to buy them. And at certain times, they are. But unless things have changed, they would only carry sizes for certain ages. What the hell is that all about? And it's not just diapers. I would rely on certain items being there in one spot over and over and then one day I'd walk in and *POOOF* that item would be gone. Just....gone. Nobody who worked there would ever explain it to me in a way that made any sense. You know who doesn't pull crap like that? Rite Aid.

I might have to look into Rite-Aid. Costco has probably caused more marital strife than anything in my short new marriage. Apparently I get a little aggressive with the idiots in there and she doesn't appreciate it too much.

 

[EYLive]

So, not really cash at all then.

I have not made a final decision. Cash would be easiest. But I want to do the gift card so that my friend can use it on tools and manly stuff and not have his wife spend it on bed skirts and pink hand towels.I can just as easily up the gift card value if that's what's called for.

Women are like elephants...they never forget. If you go the route you're going now, his wife will make a mental note of it and will give you the stink eye. Sending her chubby friends to dance with you will pale in comparison to the treatment you'll get after the wedding. Your heart is in the right place, but when it comes to weddings, you should give a gift they will BOTH enjoy. Go get a Benjamin from the bank, throw it in a card, pilfer a poem, ??, profit, done.

Know what makes your friend happier than tools? A happy wife that likes his friends.

I hadn't thought of that. Thanks dudes.Now I feel bad for the other friend I got the Home Depot card for last year. The wife likes me, but they do kinda fight a lot I've noticed.

 

[EYLive]

So, not really cash at all then.

I have not made a final decision. Cash would be easiest. But I want to do the gift card so that my friend can use it on tools and manly stuff and not have his wife spend it on bed skirts and pink hand towels.I can just as easily up the gift card value if that's what's called for.

Women are like elephants...they never forget. If you go the route you're going now, his wife will make a mental note of it and will give you the stink eye. Sending her chubby friends to dance with you will pale in comparison to the treatment you'll get after the wedding. Your heart is in the right place, but when it comes to weddings, you should give a gift they will BOTH enjoy. Go get a Benjamin from the bank, throw it in a card, pilfer a poem, ??, profit, done.

Alright then. Now my next challenge to is get my date drunk enough to hump me. If that doesn't work I may have to take a chubby bridesmaid home.

 

[Drifter]

I take my son to Costco and we entertain each other. That helps. I also go at opening on Saturday or Sunday morning and it's usually a quick trip. I went to Costco #1 (has to be the worst due to it being the main Costco for all of Seattle proper) the other day without him and it the middle of Saturday afternoon. It was hellish. It epitomizes how self absorbed and completely ####### unaware most people are of what is going on around them.

 

[bentley]

FML

I'm at a Holiday Inn Express in lovely Andrews, TX which is about 70 miles from where I have to be at 6 tomorrow. Why here? Because the hotel where I made my reservations two months ago called last night to tell me that they were overbooked and I didn't have a room. As a courtesy, they weren't going to charge me a cancellation fee. By that time, every other hotel in the area was booked so here I am.

On top of that, I went to the gas station next door to get a post-workout beer and they don't sell them. So Andrews is apparently also dry.

Here I sit with no shower beer and plans to hit Dairy Queen for dinner.

 

[General Malaise]

So, not really cash at all then.

I have not made a final decision. Cash would be easiest. But I want to do the gift card so that my friend can use it on tools and manly stuff and not have his wife spend it on bed skirts and pink hand towels.I can just as easily up the gift card value if that's what's called for.

Women are like elephants...they never forget. If you go the route you're going now, his wife will make a mental note of it and will give you the stink eye. Sending her chubby friends to dance with you will pale in comparison to the treatment you'll get after the wedding. Your heart is in the right place, but when it comes to weddings, you should give a gift they will BOTH enjoy. Go get a Benjamin from the bank, throw it in a card, pilfer a poem, ??, profit, done.

Alright then. Now my next challenge to is get my date drunk enough to hump me. If that doesn't work I may have to take a chubby bridesmaid home.

You should be alright here...weddings are like a Spanish Fly for dates. Be a perfect gentleman, open her car door, hold her hand during the ceremony, smile a whole lot, make comments about how beautiful the bride looks while at the same time negging the dresses the bridesmaids are wearing. Fetch her drinks for her, pull out her chair, offer to hold her ID/Wallet in your pocket so she can keep her purse in your car and won't have to worry about when she dances. When the Band/DJ plays sappy slow songs, hold out your hand and lead her to the dance floor. When Eric Clapton croons "You look wonderful tonight" sing along to it in her ear.You don't have to have the charm and good looks of Disco Stu - nor the half empty bottle of Rohybnol (sp?) that Homer lugs around - to get laid after a wedding. Weddings are like fourplay for girls. They do most of the work for you.

 

[General Malaise]

I take my son to Costco and we entertain each other. That helps. I also go at opening on Saturday or Sunday morning and it's usually a quick trip. I went to Costco #1 (has to be the worst due to it being the main Costco for all of Seattle proper) the other day without him and it the middle of Saturday afternoon. It was hellish. It epitomizes how self absorbed and completely ####### unaware most people are of what is going on around them.

YES! Why is that? And I don't mean to stereotype so I won't, but there is generally speaking one ethnicity that tends to struggle a bit more than other when it comes to driving....that struggle, it seems, carries over and is far worse with overloaded shopping carts. Or so I've seemed to notice. I'm surprised there isn't more Cart Rage at Costco. I let me membership expire years ago because it just wasn't healthy for me.

 

[General Malaise]

FML

I'm at a Holiday Inn Express in lovely Andrews, TX which is about 70 miles from where I have to be at 6 tomorrow. Why here? Because the hotel where I made my reservations two months ago called last night to tell me that they were overbooked and I didn't have a room. As a courtesy, they weren't going to charge me a cancellation fee. By that time, every other hotel in the area was booked so here I am.

On top of that, I went to the gas station next door to get a post-workout beer and they don't sell them. So Andrews is apparently also dry.

Here I sit with no shower beer and plans to hit Dairy Queen for dinner.

I'll take "Things I Don't Miss About Texas for $800, Alex".Dry counties? Not here in the godless northwest, no sir.

Also, why doesn't the hotel manager at the town you are supposed to be in have your shoe in his rectum right now? I'd be livid.

 

[Sweet J]

My neighbor's wife just had an affair and is asking for a divorce. She hasn't moved out yet, but is in the process. She found an apartment, but doesn't want to move out until they have a separation agreement. She makes more then him, so may have to pay child support. Who knows. They have a 5th grader (a girl) who sometimes comes over to play with my son and daughter. Wife is an uber-bich. And talks to him like he's an idiot. Always has. He's a nice guy, if a little introverted. In good shape - he runs all the time, bikes to work. And he's a decent person. And plays the fiddle in a band. I have a beer with him and watch the game occassionally. I like the wife too, even though she's somewhat of a wench. But whatever.

Anyway, the guy has been moping around for weeks now, and I finally snapped. Saw him this weekend and told him that she did him the biggest favor of his ####ing life. He's been living in misery for years, his kid has had to live in a disfunctional and tense house, and this wench just gave him a get out of jail free card for his life. AND he can do it guilt free.

He was like "I didn't think about it that way."

I told him that in 6 months he will be ####ing half of the 28 year olds in DC, with impunity. And he was like "really??? Do you think so." And I was like, "sure, if that's what you want." And he was like, "well, that does sound kind of nice." And I was like "YOUR ARE GOD DAMMED RIGHT IT SOUNDS NICE."

 

[proninja]

My neighbor's wife just had an affair and is asking for a divorce. She hasn't moved out yet, but is in the process. She found an apartment, but doesn't want to move out until they have a separation agreement. She makes more then him, so may have to pay child support. Who knows. They have a 5th grader (a girl) who sometimes comes over to play with my son and daughter. Wife is an uber-bich. And talks to him like he's an idiot. Always has. He's a nice guy, if a little introverted. In good shape - he runs all the time, bikes to work. And he's a decent person. And plays the fiddle in a band. I have a beer with him and watch the game occassionally. I like the wife too, even though she's somewhat of a wench. But whatever.Anyway, the guy has been moping around for weeks now, and I finally snapped. Saw him this weekend and told him that she did him the biggest favor of his ####ing life. He's been living in misery for years, his kid has had to live in a disfunctional and tense house, and this wench just gave him a get out of jail free card for his life. AND he can do it guilt free. He was like "I didn't think about it that way."I told him that in 6 months he will be ####ing half of the 28 year olds in DC, with impunity. And he was like "really??? Do you think so." And I was like, "sure, if that's what you want." And he was like, "well, that does sound kind of nice." And I was like "YOUR ARE GOD DAMMED RIGHT IT SOUNDS NICE."

You're a good friend

 

[General Malaise]

My neighbor's wife just had an affair and is asking for a divorce. She hasn't moved out yet, but is in the process. She found an apartment, but doesn't want to move out until they have a separation agreement. She makes more then him, so may have to pay child support. Who knows. They have a 5th grader (a girl) who sometimes comes over to play with my son and daughter. Wife is an uber-bich. And talks to him like he's an idiot. Always has. He's a nice guy, if a little introverted. In good shape - he runs all the time, bikes to work. And he's a decent person. And plays the fiddle in a band. I have a beer with him and watch the game occassionally. I like the wife too, even though she's somewhat of a wench. But whatever.

Anyway, the guy has been moping around for weeks now, and I finally snapped. Saw him this weekend and told him that she did him the biggest favor of his ####ing life. He's been living in misery for years, his kid has had to live in a disfunctional and tense house, and this wench just gave him a get out of jail free card for his life. AND he can do it guilt free.

He was like "I didn't think about it that way."

I told him that in 6 months he will be ####ing half of the 28 year olds in DC, with impunity. And he was like "really??? Do you think so." And I was like, "sure, if that's what you want." And he was like, "well, that does sound kind of nice." And I was like "YOUR ARE GOD DAMMED RIGHT IT SOUNDS NICE."

dysfunctional. HTH.

Sweet J, you know he's going to need a good wingman. I hope you're up for the task, GB. This could be a very very VERY good tributary for this thread to flow into.

 

[-fish-]

GM correcting spelling is like Knuckles providing therapy.

 

[mr. furley]

I don't want to spend a grip here...

whoa.. slow down here, Willie D

 

[General Malaise]

GM correcting spelling is like Knuckles providing therapy.

Ohhhh, that was gooood.I couldn't pass up the one and only time that I'll ever be able to correct a spelling error.

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

Fourplay?