King_Kelly
Footballguy
Growing up a Rangers fan, I had lots of opportunities for "even if it's...."
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GM's thread about nothing (22 Viewers)
- Thread starter General Malaise
- Start date
Sheriff Bart
Footballguy
Rustoleum
Footballguy
My kids start Wednesday, but the district I work in has another week, and thank God for that. My wife works for the high school, and calls me at 3:15 because she can't find her car keys. After bringing over the spare set and looking everywhere, I headed for the dumpster which only had two bags of typical office waste in it, one of which contained her keys. If school was in, that dumpster would have been stuffed with rancid cafeteria food, and even the seemingly random tetanus booster I got at the doctor today wouldn't have gotten me within 20 feet of that thing.In retrospect, that is one of the quickest ROI's I've ever gotten from a copay.
Mr. Pickles
Footballguy
I have no idea where that is.
Samuel L Bronkowitz
Footballguy
Way to go Guster. Should have sent more booze.'Sheriff Bart said:'kevzilla said:
In all seriousness I really wish I had some vodka.
My wife has 3 weeks and 1 day until her due date. She has worked summer school (IEPs and the like for the past month or so) as well as her theater job. She starts full time at the school next Wednesday, and students don't start until the following week. I had a snarky point but I've been drinking.
Try being a Brewer fan. Your kid could meet Jeff Bianchi. Seriously though, that's cool.Got a call from the Reds today. On Sunday home games, they put a kid at each of the 9 positions at the beginning of the game when the Reds take their positions, and each player brings out an autographed ball. My son got picked for a game in a couple weeks.
Not sure if this is continued compensation for when I complained about that kids club event or if he just lucked out, but either way,
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Frostillicus
Footballguy
Spent half the day at the emergency room after Mrs. Frost nearly fainted while we were riding bikes around Denver. Turned out she was just "severely dehydrated" after walking around yesterday for 6 hours and doing nothing but walking and drinking wine. Luckily she rebounded in time to make it out to Coors Field for the Rockies game and drinking more wine.
Frostillicus
Footballguy
Talk to me when a guy like Brad Radke is considered an all-time great.
Samuel L Bronkowitz
Footballguy
Jeff Cirillo
Mr. Pickles
Footballguy
5.27 K/BB in 2001.
Frostillicus
Footballguy
He was basically Nick Blackburn but he could get guys out. Which I suppose is the whole point of the game so whatever.5.27 K/BB in 2001.
Frostillicus
Footballguy
Ted Higuera
Samuel L Bronkowitz
Footballguy
Hello, exactly
Captain Quinoa
Footballguy
Don't know who's alias this is but yesterday was my birthday too (39). Fortunately I didn't celebrate with Busch.
Guster
Footballguy
Thoprawishes Mrs. Frosty.
Ignoramus
Footballguy
Happy birfdays!
King_Kelly
Footballguy
Real as Radke!
King_Kelly
Footballguy
We drink cost effectively during the week in the bentley house. 2 24 oz Busch cans for 3.33 at the corner store. They seem offended when I pass on the little paper bags. I'm not homeless, just drink like it.
King_Kelly
Footballguy
Ten minute discussion of the Bakersfield music scene coupled with how much the town sucks on the radio in Austin this morning.
Was it 12 jelly donuts?
Captain Quinoa
Footballguy
Nothing wrong with that.
eaganwildcats
Footballguy
Many apologies, had to sit for (hopefully) the last section of the CPA yesterday which was consuming much of my time. I start work tomorrow but I will see what I can do from here on out.
Mr. Pickles
Footballguy
See what you've done? Never raise expectations.
-fish-
Footballguy
PV14
Footballguy
Those of you that donated...thank you SO much. Lung cancer research is incredibly important to me, my dad died of lung cancer in December and now his best friend has been diagnosed. Thanks to your donations, I was able to bask in the glory of being #1 for a short while until some other broad got about a million donations in a 20 minute period. She was clearly intimidated by me. Anyway, I've raised over 3 grand (so far) which is SO AWESOME! So thank you so much. You guys rule.Anyway, it's my birthday and it's already 11:15am, so I reckon I'd better get to drinking. I hope you will accept shot vids as thanks....as they will undoubtedly occur later. I'll make sure they get posted here.
Drifter
Footballguy
Frosty - the 3 biggest mistakes visitors to Colorado make are:
1. Don't wear sunscreen (Lot less air between you and that thing)
2. Don't drink enough water (It's basically a desert)
3. Don't realize how much more alcohol will affect them because of the altitude.
1. Don't wear sunscreen (Lot less air between you and that thing)
2. Don't drink enough water (It's basically a desert)
3. Don't realize how much more alcohol will affect them because of the altitude.
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charvik
Footballguy
Hmmm... I wonder how much money I would save by moving to Colorado....
Samuel L Bronkowitz
Footballguy
Supposedly tonight's episode has footage of Philbin meeting with him and releasing himGuess he won't be on too many more episodes. I read in Peter King this morning that he and his wife were arguing over a receipt. For a box of condems. I'm not gonna lie, I am more than just a little curious how that unfolded.LaurenSo, uh....anyone watch Hard Knocks last night?
Also, David Gerrard's wife has an interesting....accent.Chad Johnson is funny.
Edit - Happy birthday PV
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heckmanm
Footballguy
It's a trap. They are going to send your son out to SS, then send Wilson Valdez out to greet him.Seriously, that sounds awesome for your son.Got a call from the Reds today. On Sunday home games, they put a kid at each of the 9 positions at the beginning of the game when the Reds take their positions, and each player brings out an autographed ball. My son got picked for a game in a couple weeks.Not sure if this is continued compensation for when I complained about that kids club event or if he just lucked out, but either way,
General Malaise
Footballguy
General Malaise
Footballguy
Bob Sacamano
Footballguy
Lavender, eh?
General Malaise
Footballguy
I met with an elderly lady who lives down the block from me. She has lavender plants in her parkway, which look much prettier than the weeds and dying crab grass I have in my parkway currently. Had I known I only need to dive into a shallow pool, break my neck and have my spinal wires crossed to receive erection upon smelling the lavender, I would have met with her much sooner.
Bob Sacamano
Footballguy
I'm on a diving board with a package full of seeds right now (I also have a container of lavender seeds).I met with an elderly lady who lives down the block from me. She has lavender plants in her parkway, which look much prettier than the weeds and dying crab grass I have in my parkway currently. Had I known I only need to dive into a shallow pool, break my neck and have my spinal wires crossed to receive erection upon smelling the lavender, I would have met with her much sooner.
Sheriff Bart
Footballguy
Meh, I sent "Bob before & after" out to everybody a couple of days after it happened for anybody that didn't want to see the real pics.
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Zow
Footballguy
Haha nice, didn't know you already had the joke covered.
Sheriff Bart
Footballguy
Yeah there was a nice pile on but I beat everybody to the punch. I also TP & egg my house every Halloween.
what means this?
General Malaise
Footballguy
1. SUKE - Son of Shuke to take the field at River FrontSource: Shuke
FFA Legend and 1-Time Lake Shaving Champion Shuke announced that the front office of the Cincinnati Reds called and offered his son an opportunity to take the field at River Front Stadium, man a position and meet that MLB player prior to the game. No details were given as to how Shuke's son earned this opportunity, but speculation is rampant that Angry Shuke got angry and over a missed opportunity to ask Zack Cozart a question a few weeks ago and the Reds felt it was in their best interest to placate the mercurial Shuke with another offer for his son.
[ [ [ [ [ [ [ [ [ [ OUR VIEW ] ] ] ] ] ] ] ] ] ]
Boy, what a class move by a class organization. It was obvious to our subscribers that Shuke was angrier than Marge Schott was paying millions of dollars to Eric Davis, so a big thumbs up from us for stepping up and doing the right thing. Now, will Son of Shuke get to meet Joey Votto, Brandon Phillips or Drew Stubbs? Probably not, but even if he has to settle for a high five from Wilson Valdez or Sam LeCure, both Shuke and his son are delighted and crisis has been averted.
2. COS - Damon aka Cosjobs from the board has busy day
Source: The Albert Oaks Gazette
Updating a previous report, former vaudeville performer and Cake Biesbol Roster Churner Damon 'Cosjobs' Hung had an incredibly busy day running his empire at Albert Oaks. In one of the most frightening moments in camp, Cosjob's mother Majobs suffered what is believed to be a mild stroke and though she was hospitalized, prognosis for recovery is good and she should be back home to rest, relax and participate in happy hours with the other guests at AO. In addition to several Costco runs, hospital trips, meal preparations and installing Cinemax in all the guests' rooms, Cos managed to sneak in a couple games of volleyball in 101 degree heat followed by a few bottles of wine.
[ [ [ [ [ [ [ [ [ [ OUR VIEW ] ] ] ] ] ] ] ] ] ]
First of all, we here at GMTAN want to send out our sincere thoughts and prayers with Majobs and the entire Jobs family. Looks like she is going to make a nice recovery and we know she is in great hands with Cosjobs and his devoted staff. It was a big shake up in camp, but we think the entire team will be ready by opening day and we feel no need to downgrade their rankings this week. As always, stay tuned to us for the latest breaking news.
3. TRE - Notorious T.R.E. & much better half PV14 raise funds for cancer
Source: My link
In an August 13th post addressed "Hey Nerds", the notorious and sometimes cantankerous T.R.E. pleaded to his fellow iDorks to help his wife with her fund raising efforts to battle lung cancer, a disease that sadly affects all of us and will hopefully be eradicated with efforts by people like PV14 and countless others who have taken to the innertubes to seek donations to battle this global nightmare. In a follow up post by PV14, several of the good hearted posters of GMTAN answered the call and donated to the great cause. PV14 has offered to post shot videos later tonight to express her gratitude, though requests to record them topless have sadly gone unanswered.
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Huge kudos go out to the TRE family and color many of us here at GMTAN shocked by the altruistic gesture of the oft-bristly Notorious TRE. We wish PV14 tremendous success with her fundraising efforts and hope she follows through with her promise to post shot vids.
4. YSR - YSR and Romo return safely from San Francisco
Source: Bol a Pasta Clarion Ledger
Famed aerophobic YSR and her QB look-alike husband returned safely from a cross country trip on Monday. Despite inclement weather in the Memphis area and a ride on a puddle jumper to Knoxville, the happy couple made it back home safe and sound. Reports on her trip were nebulous at best and sources have quoted YSR as saying the trip was 'goodish'. No confirmation to a 'May Baby' has been given, though there are reports that Romo believes his unborn fetus would beat Treanor-Walsh 3 games to 2 in beach volleyball.
[ [ [ [ [ [ [ [ [ [ OUR VIEW ] ] ] ] ] ] ] ] ] ]
That deep exhale you heard was the entire GMTAN family letting out its collective breath upon learning that YSR made it cross country and back without turning into Kristin Whig from "Bridesmaids". Attempts to drug her with horse tranquilizers prior to boarding were thwarted by FAA, which has made a concerted effort to remove any joy at all from flying. And keep your eye out for signs of a May Baby as the offspring of this power couple will certainly be worth drafting in all formats.
5. STLB - St. Louis Bob on the mend; head cooter shrinking
Source: CYInterview
Updating a previous report from Chris Yandek, it looks like St. "Loughenis" Bob is on track to make a full recovery. From the interview:
CY: First off Bob, how are you?
STLB: Chris, I'm fine. Can you hand me my cane?
CY: Sure Bob, but why do you need a cane when your.....
Bob: *THWACK!*
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Well, there you have it, folks. If you've been reading us, you'll know that we've been predicting a Chris Yandek beatdown for months now. The fact that it was a man with a broken neck and a hatchet wound on his dome was a little surprising, but it was bound to happen some day. On a side note, it's good to see everybody's favorite poster on the mend and back to his butt kicking ways. With another week or two of recovery, we expect Bob to be back making paths and doing charity walks with cigarettes dangling out of his mouth.
6. BOYLE - Marvin Tanner Rudi Stein Boyle returns to work
Source: Bakersfield Bee
Cat-loving, trivia maven and alias collector Tanner Boyle returned to school today where he'll resume his career teaching history and humanities to kids with more hyphens in their names than the Kenyan track team. Despite two months off, Boyle admitted to not being ready for the start of the school year and has already decided to show more films and play more pranks than he has in the past. When reached for comment, Boyle simply stated this.
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Folks, we are dropping Boyle down our draft boards like a sack of kittens in a volcanic lake. It is obvious that the onetime talent has lost his desire and recent shot videos (since deleted) indicate that his heart just isn't in it this season. Boyle's shot videos weren't even shots at all. They were small pours of macro beers with zero gusto and an abundance of "I don't give a damn". Draft Boyle at your own risk this year.
That'll do it for today, Folks. Thanks for reading and thanks for letting us be a part of your GMTAN season. We'll see you tomorrow with the update.
Peace,
G
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Sheriff Bart
Footballguy
that was impressive. so few spelling errors.
urbanhack
Fight The Power!
Bogart
Footballguy
Something they are doing on Yahoo. My team has the most projected points. Means less than the time we have spent typing about it.
General Malaise
Footballguy
Copy/pasted on to word first.
commisholio
Come out with your pants down!
GM, still the champ. 
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