GM's thread about nothing (17 Viewers)

[St. Louis Bob]

Oh, and I offered free lunch to this rep of mine that has helped me out with a project but no $$ for her. She is silly hot in a plain Jane kind of way. She has driven me crazy for years. Short skirts, just cute, seems dirty. She just e-mailed me she would rather go out for drinks.



Oh good Ra.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

btw, is the shark move to live in Vancouver, WA?

No state income tax and you can do all your shopping in Portland with no sales tax.

I believe so.

Yeah, I thought so too...so I lived in Vancouver for the first 18 months of my time up here. That. Sucked. Vancouver is a suckhole with nothing to do except chain restaurants and meth. It's a bedroom community and there are a lot of folks who do what Rude advises, but I'd rather pay the state income tax and live here. They call it Vantucky for a reason.

The fact that "tucky" is used as a derogatory suffix all the way to Oregon gives me an unreasonable amount of amusement.

Yeah. We were going home from a fishing trip in Georgia and stopped at a rest area in tucky. I had to poop really bad. I not big on using teh public restroom for this kind of thing but WTF. I sat down and it smelled so bad I had to hurry up and pull my jeans up then went outside and barfed.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Oh, and I offered free lunch to this rep of mine that has helped me out with a project but no $$ for her. She is silly hot in a plain Jane kind of way. She has driven me crazy for years. Short skirts, just cute, seems dirty. She just e-mailed me she would rather go out for drinks. Oh good Ra.

Is this going to be like the story about you kissing your neighbor?

 

[Good Posting Judge]

Oh, and I offered free lunch to this rep of mine that has helped me out with a project but no $$ for her. She is silly hot in a plain Jane kind of way. She has driven me crazy for years. Short skirts, just cute, seems dirty. She just e-mailed me she would rather go out for drinks. Oh good Ra.

DITB, GB. DITB.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Oh, and I offered free lunch to this rep of mine that has helped me out with a project but no $$ for her. She is silly hot in a plain Jane kind of way. She has driven me crazy for years. Short skirts, just cute, seems dirty. She just e-mailed me she would rather go out for drinks. Oh good Ra.

Is this going to be like the story about you kissing your neighbor?

I feel like we're watching that Simpsons with Lurleen.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Oh, and I offered free lunch to this rep of mine that has helped me out with a project but no $$ for her. She is silly hot in a plain Jane kind of way. She has driven me crazy for years. Short skirts, just cute, seems dirty. She just e-mailed me she would rather go out for drinks. Oh good Ra.

Is this going to be like the story about you kissing your neighbor?

I feel like we're watching that Simpsons with Lurleen.

' I can see it all now, this is gonna be just like last summer. You fell in love with that girl at the Fotomat, you bought forty dollars worth of ####in' film, and you never even talked to her. You don't even own a camera. "

 

[mr. furley]

Oh, and I offered free lunch to this rep of mine that has helped me out with a project but no $$ for her. She is silly hot in a plain Jane kind of way. She has driven me crazy for years. Short skirts, just cute, seems dirty. She just e-mailed me she would rather go out for drinks. Oh good Ra.

do you have a.. how do you say... open marriage?

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Oh, and I offered free lunch to this rep of mine that has helped me out with a project but no $$ for her. She is silly hot in a plain Jane kind of way. She has driven me crazy for years. Short skirts, just cute, seems dirty. She just e-mailed me she would rather go out for drinks. Oh good Ra.

do you have a.. how do you say... open marriage?

He's in the right neighborhood.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

DITB, GB. DITB.

I feel like we're watching that Simpsons with Lurleen.

Fantastic comparison. This gal is smart and works hard. Actually made the connection with her husband years ago. He doesn't drink though and sort of sucks at working. Pretty sure she just wants to laugh a bit.

' I can see it all now, this is gonna be just like last summer. You fell in love with that girl at the Fotomat, you bought forty dollars worth of ####in' film, and you never even talked to her. You don't even own a camera. "

Oh, and I offered free lunch to this rep of mine that has helped me out with a project but no $$ for her. She is silly hot in a plain Jane kind of way. She has driven me crazy for years. Short skirts, just cute, seems dirty. She just e-mailed me she would rather go out for drinks. Oh good Ra.

do you have a.. how do you say... open marriage?

NO

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Did Atlanta just stop running? WTF happened here.

 

[Good Posting Judge]

Page 1963. What will JFK and SLB's female coworker have in common?

 

[Samuel L Bronkowitz]

Page 1963. What will JFK and SLB's female coworker have in common?

Something something grassy knoll something something

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Page 1963. What will JFK and SLB's female coworker have in common?

This is a rep. See, when I started in this business 20 years ago, I had a client that needed a furniture line I couldn't get. So I looked in the Yellow Pages, found somebody that did, and called them up. Got this gal's husband, worked out a deal and both made a little money. Since then my company and his have done dozens of jobs. But he sucked at communication and working so he punted to his wife. We clicked because we both are detailed oriented and just like getting stuff done. Closing the deal. She always gave me this vibe though and she sells to my GB/client's company too and he said the same thing. This isn't some hot broad with giant cans trying to influence, I see that #### a mile away. This has been building for a good 7 years. I'm going to go jam my penis in the shredder now.

 

[Frostillicus]

Page 1963. What will JFK and SLB's female coworker have in common?

This is a rep. See, when I started in this business 20 years ago, I had a client that furniture line I couldn't get. So I looked in the Yellow Pages, found somebody that did, and called them up. Got this gal's husband, worked out a deal and both made a little money. Since then my company and his have done dozens of jobs. But he sucked at communication and working so he punted to his wife. We clicked because we both are detailed oriented and just like getting stuff done. Closing the deal. She always gave me this vibe though and she sells to my GB/client's company too and he said the same thing. This isn't some hot broad with giant cans trying to influence, I see that #### a mile away. This has been building for a good 7 years. I'm going to go jam my penis in the shredder now.

What are the chances you're completely hallucinating this person and she doesn't even exist?

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Page 1963. What will JFK and SLB's female coworker have in common?

Something something grassy knoll something something

I hope you get your wife pregnant again like an Irishman.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Page 1963. What will JFK and SLB's female coworker have in common?

This is a rep. See, when I started in this business 20 years ago, I had a client that furniture line I couldn't get. So I looked in the Yellow Pages, found somebody that did, and called them up. Got this gal's husband, worked out a deal and both made a little money. Since then my company and his have done dozens of jobs. But he sucked at communication and working so he punted to his wife. We clicked because we both are detailed oriented and just like getting stuff done. Closing the deal. She always gave me this vibe though and she sells to my GB/client's company too and he said the same thing. This isn't some hot broad with giant cans trying to influence, I see that #### a mile away. This has been building for a good 7 years. I'm going to go jam my penis in the shredder now.

What are the chances you're completely hallucinating this person and she doesn't even exist?

I once ate chicken out of bucket.

 

[-fish-]

Page 1963. What will JFK and SLB's female coworker have in common?

This is a rep. See, when I started in this business 20 years ago, I had a client that furniture line I couldn't get. So I looked in the Yellow Pages, found somebody that did, and called them up. Got this gal's husband, worked out a deal and both made a little money. Since then my company and his have done dozens of jobs. But he sucked at communication and working so he punted to his wife. We clicked because we both are detailed oriented and just like getting stuff done. Closing the deal. She always gave me this vibe though and she sells to my GB/client's company too and he said the same thing. This isn't some hot broad with giant cans trying to influence, I see that #### a mile away. This has been building for a good 7 years. I'm going to go jam my penis in the shredder now.

What are the chances you're completely hallucinating this person and she doesn't even exist?

does she smell like burnt popcorn?

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Page 1963. What will JFK and SLB's female coworker have in common?

This is a rep. See, when I started in this business 20 years ago, I had a client that furniture line I couldn't get. So I looked in the Yellow Pages, found somebody that did, and called them up. Got this gal's husband, worked out a deal and both made a little money. Since then my company and his have done dozens of jobs. But he sucked at communication and working so he punted to his wife. We clicked because we both are detailed oriented and just like getting stuff done. Closing the deal. She always gave me this vibe though and she sells to my GB/client's company too and he said the same thing. This isn't some hot broad with giant cans trying to influence, I see that #### a mile away. This has been building for a good 7 years. I'm going to go jam my penis in the shredder now.

What are the chances you're completely hallucinating this person and she doesn't even exist?

does she smell like burnt popcorn?

That only HAPPENED ONCE.I was stone cold sober too.

 

[Samuel L Bronkowitz]

Page 1963. What will JFK and SLB's female coworker have in common?

Something something grassy knoll something something

I hope you get your wife pregnant again like an Irishman.

That hurts.

 

[krista4]

So i was diagnosed yesterday with Sixth Cranial Nerve palsy. Basically double vision due to weak muscles in my right eye because of a vascular event. Anyone have any experience with this? I asked if wearing a neck brace would alleviate my symptoms. My humorless Asian neurologist said no. My wife looked at me like I was crazy.

As of this past Tuesday I'm cured. Damndest thing. Neuro guy said I was one of his faster recoveries. He said it was an early xmas present. I said are you allowed to say xmas to your patients? He said, I can say anything I damn well want to, good luck!The eye thing really freaked me out. I'm down 15#'s since Halloween. Working out 3 days a week and eating my veggies. That cruise over xmas is gonna kill me.

Great to hear!But I have to say, I first read that as Negro guy.

I'm too tired.

Oh wow. I'm not the only one. I just wasn't going to admit it.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Page 1963. What will JFK and SLB's female coworker have in common?

Something something grassy knoll something something

I hope you get your wife pregnant again like an Irishman.

That hurts.

Ah, make a bunch of them, GB. I've observed my friends with lots of siblings and it is pretty awesome. If I was a younger man like you, I would have at least three. Sure they piss you off 90% of the time but WTF. Plus you can race them..

 

[Josie Maran]

Page 1963. What will JFK and SLB's female coworker have in common?

Something something grassy knoll something something

I hope you get your wife pregnant again like an Irishman.

That hurts.

Ah, make a bunch of them, GB. I've observed my friends with lots of siblings and it is pretty awesome. If I was a younger man like you, I would have at least three. Sure they piss you off 90% of the time but WTF. Plus you can race them..

 

[Annyong]

Josie- I had a cheesy gordita crunch today.

 

[Josie Maran]

Josie- I had a cheesy gordita crunch today.

 

[-fish-]

break-up with ex-future-ex-mrs. fish is the strangest I've ever had. one halfhearted attempt to "work things out" a few weeks ago, and then I realized I just don't care. broke it off again and have had no contact whatsoever, except one: she texted me after a week of neither of us calling or texting the other, saying, "I don't want to play games." So I resigned from the words with friends game we had going (where nobody had taken a turn in a week). I thought that was funny.

Usually, it takes a bunch of attempts for me to make a breakup stick, and at the very least there's some face to face conversation about whether to make an effort to save the thing. This time, just stopped cold.

expect some knuckles updates, as I have no prospects on the horizon for now.

 

[bentley]

14 hours until AngryWife leaves town and I'm alone with the little savages for the weekend. I'm drinking heavily. That seems to be the solution pretty much any problem.

 

[Annyong]

Josie- I had a cheesy gordita crunch today.

You recommended extra "meat" product, but I can't do that to myself

 

[Bogart]

I need a knuckles.

 

[shuke]

Just a reminder that Movember is still going strong: my pic

If you want to donate, you can click here: http://mobro.co/guster or (here) if you're challenged like Homer

Tre and I are doing our best to represent the GMTAN and appreciate all those that have already donated!

Still willing to do shtick pics for donations too... but it ends at midnight Friday.

Can't fricken wait to shave!

My link

 

[-fish-]

I need a knuckles.

the other day she said, "it's like friends with benefits, only we aren't friends."

 

[shuke]

Also, remember that radio contest deal I won earlier in the year? One of the prizes was for a free dozen donuts. I just happened to have an appointment about a block from the joint and all I could think about was these donuts and how I would be a hero to my boys. I pull into the parking lot and the place is vacant.

THIS IS BULL####

 

[shuke]

Also, I confiscated a bunch of Mrs. SLB's jewelry about three years ago. She stopped wearing it and even with the family discount, it wasn't cheap. I've kept it in the vault at my cousin's store for safe keeping since then. I decided today she was going to get jewelry for Christmas. Here's what she's getting:A pearl necklace (hehe) with pearl earrings & a white gold and pearl ring.A white gold, diamond & emerald bracelet. Emerald earrings & and emerald ring. The earrings & ring are yellow gold but they said they can dip them in white gold for me so they match.A gold braclet with sapphires plus sapphire & diamond earrings.Sometimes having a mate with ADD pays off.

Rules

 

[Josie Maran]

I need a knuckles.

the other day she said, "it's like friends with benefits, only we aren't friends."

I love this woman.

 

[Josie Maran]

I love the late night shukeling.

 

[cstu]

break-up with ex-future-ex-mrs. fish is the strangest I've ever had. one halfhearted attempt to "work things out" a few weeks ago, and then I realized I just don't care. broke it off again and have had no contact whatsoever, except one: she texted me after a week of neither of us calling or texting the other, saying, "I don't want to play games." So I resigned from the words with friends game we had going (where nobody had taken a turn in a week). I thought that was funny.

Usually, it takes a bunch of attempts for me to make a breakup stick, and at the very least there's some face to face conversation about whether to make an effort to save the thing. This time, just stopped cold.

expect some knuckles updates, as I have no prospects on the horizon for now.

 

[shuke]

But I don't think you can get a delicious rotisserie-cooked chicken at Rite Aid for $5 like you can at Costco.

I can get that at my local Kroger. NO ANNUAL FEE.

 

[cstu]

Page 1963. What will JFK and SLB's female coworker have in common?

Something something grassy knoll something something

I hope you get your wife pregnant again like an Irishman.

That hurts.

Ah, make a bunch of them, GB. I've observed my friends with lots of siblings and it is pretty awesome. If I was a younger man like you, I would have at least three. Sure they piss you off 90% of the time but WTF. Plus you can race them..

Best case I've ever heard for having kids.

 

[shuke]

http://memecrunch.com/meme/3AGY/jason-schultz-and-i-dated-in-high-school

WTMF

 

[-fish-]

Do you think hookers would let you ride them down the street if you paid them their hourly wage? We're trying to put together a pub crawl, but don't want to drive.

 

[Abraham]

I need a knuckles.

the other day she said, "it's like friends with benefits, only we aren't friends."

I once "dated" a girl for about two months and got nowhere with her. She was 30 and I was 23. Didn't see her for a month and then we started bedding every night for weeks. She told me "I didn't want to sleep with you then (when we were dating). It took me deciding I didn't really like you to do this." Women are weird.

 

[shuke]

At Trader Joe's this morning, another shopper asked me if "ale" was a type of beer.

Well, all beer is either an ale or a lager, so the correct answer is "yesno"

Stout?

Stouts are ales

Urbanhack nerded you to the punch on this one.I did some internet research and now I know more about yeast!

yeah, should've read the rest of the thread before replying

When I look at your avatar sometimes it looks to me like you're holding a rocket launcher on your shoulder.

Whoa, he isn't.

 

[bentley]

Do you think hookers would let you ride them down the street if you paid them their hourly wage? We're trying to put together a pub crawl, but don't want to drive.

Maybe you can just buy one of these.

 

[shuke]

So i was diagnosed yesterday with Sixth Cranial Nerve palsy. Basically double vision due to weak muscles in my right eye because of a vascular event. Anyone have any experience with this? I asked if wearing a neck brace would alleviate my symptoms. My humorless Asian neurologist said no. My wife looked at me like I was crazy.

As of this past Tuesday I'm cured. Damndest thing. Neuro guy said I was one of his faster recoveries. He said it was an early xmas present. I said are you allowed to say xmas to your patients? He said, I can say anything I damn well want to, good luck!The eye thing really freaked me out. I'm down 15#'s since Halloween. Working out 3 days a week and eating my veggies. That cruise over xmas is gonna kill me.

 

[Guster]

I love the late night shukeling.

 

[shuke]

Tanner>

"Giving a noogie to my little brother"

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Tanner>

"Giving a noogie to my little brother"

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Page 1963. What will JFK and SLB's female coworker have in common?

This is a rep. See, when I started in this business 20 years ago, I had a client that needed a furniture line I couldn't get. So I looked in the Yellow Pages, found somebody that did, and called them up. Got this gal's husband, worked out a deal and both made a little money. Since then my company and his have done dozens of jobs. But he sucked at communication and working so he punted to his wife. We clicked because we both are detailed oriented and just like getting stuff done. Closing the deal. She always gave me this vibe though and she sells to my GB/client's company too and he said the same thing. This isn't some hot broad with giant cans trying to influence, I see that #### a mile away. This has been building for a good 7 years. I'm going to go jam my penis in the shredder now.

You're on your way!

 

[Good Posting Judge]

Page 1963. What will JFK and SLB's female coworker have in common?

This is a rep. See, when I started in this business 20 years ago, I had a client that furniture line I couldn't get. So I looked in the Yellow Pages, found somebody that did, and called them up. Got this gal's husband, worked out a deal and both made a little money. Since then my company and his have done dozens of jobs. But he sucked at communication and working so he punted to his wife. We clicked because we both are detailed oriented and just like getting stuff done. Closing the deal. She always gave me this vibe though and she sells to my GB/client's company too and he said the same thing. This isn't some hot broad with giant cans trying to influence, I see that #### a mile away. This has been building for a good 7 years. I'm going to go jam my penis in the shredder now.

What are the chances you're completely hallucinating this person and she doesn't even exist?

does she smell like burnt popcorn?

That only HAPPENED ONCE.I was stone cold sober too.

Seriously, you should get that checked out.

 

[Good Posting Judge]

They both took shots to the face.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Not sure if this went through but to anybody in the GroupMe thing I had to delete it. Sucker was killing my battery.