GM's thread about nothing (25 Viewers)

[Good Posting Judge]

We were cleaning up yesterday for birthday party for the kids and there was a bottle of hand lotion in the kitchen.

Wife: I'm going to put this lotion in the bathroom.

Shuke: In the basket?

Wife: Huh?

Shuke: Are you putting the lotion in the basket?

Wife: I said I was putting it in the bathroom.

Shuke: PUT THE ####ING LOTION IN THE BASKET!

Wife walks away oblivious.

 

[bentley]

We were cleaning up yesterday for birthday party for the kids and there was a bottle of hand lotion in the kitchen.

Wife: I'm going to put this lotion in the bathroom.

Shuke: In the basket?

Wife: Huh?

Shuke: Are you putting the lotion in the basket?

Wife: I said I was putting it in the bathroom.

Shuke: PUT THE ####ING LOTION IN THE BASKET!

Wife walks away oblivious.

 

[cosjobs]

Colin, why don't you ever come to Vegas when FBG pays for it all?

Wife was preggers last time. Haven't decided about this one.

Why don't you ever hang out with us when I'm in Austin?

Didn't know when you were here.

Well now, that's complete bull####. I remember an in thread commitment and a text exchange between you and cosjobs when we were at the Driskill.

In his defense, he does drink a lot.

 

[proninja]

Colin, why don't you ever come to Vegas when FBG pays for it all?

Wife was preggers last time. Haven't decided about this one.

Why don't you ever hang out with us when I'm in Austin?

Didn't know when you were here.

Well now, that's complete bull####. I remember an in thread commitment and a text exchange between you and cosjobs when we were at the Driskill.

In his defense, he does drink a lot.

You say that like it's a bad thing

 

[cosjobs]

Colin, why don't you ever come to Vegas when FBG pays for it all?

Wife was preggers last time. Haven't decided about this one.

Why don't you ever hang out with us when I'm in Austin?

Didn't know when you were here.

Well now, that's complete bull####. I remember an in thread commitment and a text exchange between you and cosjobs when we were at the Driskill.

In his defense, he does drink a lot.

You say that like it's a bad thing

Then you misunderstood.

 

[Samuel L Bronkowitz]

Anyone else still want in GMTAN Secret Santa? WIll be sending out the pairings in a little bit

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

Anyone else still want in GMTAN Secret Santa? WIll be sending out the pairings in a little bit

Sure, I'm in on this.

 

[Samuel L Bronkowitz]

Anyone else still want in GMTAN Secret Santa? WIll be sending out the pairings in a little bit

Sure, I'm in on this.

The pairings have been sent out. Enjoy!

 

[YSR]

1. I would volunteer to help others make it to coshole but frankly have no idea what will be going on with us at the time. I might be quitting my job without another lined up, so I should likely be more conservative than usual with my $$$. If we get to a point where someone wants to go but can't, let me know so I can re-evaluate.2. Haven't a clue if we'll make it to that, so count us out and I'll find a vrbo or otherwise if we can. Sounds sooooo fun.3. Lunch tomorrow of a group of "high performers" and our executive team. We had the opportunity to submit two questions in advance to our CEO. I submitted two (supposedly anonymously) but know that the answers are going to piss me off. Chances of my having a Jerry Maguire moment tomorrow are 50/50. Should be fun.

My boss scheduled my 6-month performance review for 10:00 this morning. I've only been working there a little over 4 months. This is either very, very good, or very, very bad. If the latter, I will be happy to be the Dorothy Boyd to your Jerry Maguire.**I'll need healthcare.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

1. I would volunteer to help others make it to coshole but frankly have no idea what will be going on with us at the time. I might be quitting my job without another lined up, so I should likely be more conservative than usual with my $$$. If we get to a point where someone wants to go but can't, let me know so I can re-evaluate.2. Haven't a clue if we'll make it to that, so count us out and I'll find a vrbo or otherwise if we can. Sounds sooooo fun.3. Lunch tomorrow of a group of "high performers" and our executive team. We had the opportunity to submit two questions in advance to our CEO. I submitted two (supposedly anonymously) but know that the answers are going to piss me off. Chances of my having a Jerry Maguire moment tomorrow are 50/50. Should be fun.

My boss scheduled my 6-month performance review for 10:00 this morning. I've only been working there a little over 4 months. This is either very, very good, or very, very bad. If the latter, I will be happy to be the Dorothy Boyd to your Jerry Maguire.**I'll need healthcare.

Claim the baby is your bosses. I don't care if it's a woman.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Scored a half price ticket to Glengarry Glen Ross on Broadway. Starts in 45 min and Pacino is in the cast.

Jealous

 

[St. Louis Bob]

So Friday at the bar was the first time I've met this gal's husband. Nice chap. Anyhow, after a few cocktails were consumed, he remarks that my female friend, his wife, is horny and he'll likely be doing stuff with her in the "other place". Except he was pretty blunt about it. She overhears this, is a little embarrassed and says "I have a strap on and do you in the same place tough guy". I was a little taken back by this whole turn of events and all I could think to say was "hey prostate isn't going to massage itself."

Here, I got a picture and everything. My link

 

[Idiot Boxer]

buttplay.jpg

 

[heckmanm]

So Friday at the bar was the first time I've met this gal's husband. Nice chap. Anyhow, after a few cocktails were consumed, he remarks that my female friend, his wife, is horny and he'll likely be doing stuff with her in the "other place". Except he was pretty blunt about it. She overhears this, is a little embarrassed and says "I have a strap on and do you in the same place tough guy". I was a little taken back by this whole turn of events and all I could think to say was "hey prostate isn't going to massage itself."

Here, I got a picture and everything. My link

Well played.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Pete is the same one I learned the "find a random pill on the floor, pop it in your mouth and see what happens" move from.

I would like to hug Pete right now.

Passed away a couple of years ago. :(

:(

I am going to a tacky Christmas sweater party tonight. t's too warm to be wearing a sweater.

First world problems in Dallas.

That's why I only go to parties where you don't wear clothes.

I tried to get JR to talk to Santa, but he informed me that Santa's job was to bring him presents, not have a conversation with him.

Shuke> My wife did a lot of IEP stuff when she was a practicing social worker. Please PM or call if you ever have any questions about it. We'd be happy to help.

Me too of course.

As promised

FYI, shot was Fireball Whiskey.

I'm back row, 3rd from left. My wife is front left, my niece (beneficiary of your kindness) is next to her, and her mom (my sister) is next, holding the bottle.

I think all told we raised over $10,000 yesterday. one more time for helping someone you've never met. I'll stop now before I get all verklemmt.



ETA - my wife is SEXY with a bald head

Awesome

Yes! /slippeling

 

[krista4]

1. I would volunteer to help others make it to coshole but frankly have no idea what will be going on with us at the time. I might be quitting my job without another lined up, so I should likely be more conservative than usual with my $$$. If we get to a point where someone wants to go but can't, let me know so I can re-evaluate.2. Haven't a clue if we'll make it to that, so count us out and I'll find a vrbo or otherwise if we can. Sounds sooooo fun.3. Lunch tomorrow of a group of "high performers" and our executive team. We had the opportunity to submit two questions in advance to our CEO. I submitted two (supposedly anonymously) but know that the answers are going to piss me off. Chances of my having a Jerry Maguire moment tomorrow are 50/50. Should be fun.

My boss scheduled my 6-month performance review for 10:00 this morning. I've only been working there a little over 4 months. This is either very, very good, or very, very bad. If the latter, I will be happy to be the Dorothy Boyd to your Jerry Maguire.**I'll need healthcare.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

YSR, your box is full.

 

[phishphan]

YSR, your box is full.

she's growing a baby in there.

 

[belljr]

Me today

Stupid cat humor

 

[Bogart]

So Friday at the bar was the first time I've met this gal's husband. Nice chap. Anyhow, after a few cocktails were consumed, he remarks that my female friend, his wife, is horny and he'll likely be doing stuff with her in the "other place". Except he was pretty blunt about it. She overhears this, is a little embarrassed and says "I have a strap on and do you in the same place tough guy". I was a little taken back by this whole turn of events and all I could think to say was "hey prostate isn't going to massage itself."

Here, I got a picture and everything. My link

21

*unless it's 1 that does "other place" stuff, then she may leapfrog.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

So Friday at the bar was the first time I've met this gal's husband. Nice chap. Anyhow, after a few cocktails were consumed, he remarks that my female friend, his wife, is horny and he'll likely be doing stuff with her in the "other place". Except he was pretty blunt about it. She overhears this, is a little embarrassed and says "I have a strap on and do you in the same place tough guy". I was a little taken back by this whole turn of events and all I could think to say was "hey prostate isn't going to massage itself."

Here, I got a picture and everything. My link

So her husband is a homo?

 

[Captain Quinoa]

So Friday at the bar was the first time I've met this gal's husband. Nice chap. Anyhow, after a few cocktails were consumed, he remarks that my female friend, his wife, is horny and he'll likely be doing stuff with her in the "other place". Except he was pretty blunt about it. She overhears this, is a little embarrassed and says "I have a strap on and do you in the same place tough guy". I was a little taken back by this whole turn of events and all I could think to say was "hey prostate isn't going to massage itself."

Here, I got a picture and everything. My link

So her husband is a homo?

No, he just likes to get fu... yeah I guess he is.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

So Friday at the bar was the first time I've met this gal's husband. Nice chap. Anyhow, after a few cocktails were consumed, he remarks that my female friend, his wife, is horny and he'll likely be doing stuff with her in the "other place". Except he was pretty blunt about it. She overhears this, is a little embarrassed and says "I have a strap on and do you in the same place tough guy". I was a little taken back by this whole turn of events and all I could think to say was "hey prostate isn't going to massage itself."

Here, I got a picture and everything. My link

So her husband is a homo?

No, he just likes to get fu... yeah I guess he is.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

So Friday at the bar was the first time I've met this gal's husband. Nice chap. Anyhow, after a few cocktails were consumed, he remarks that my female friend, his wife, is horny and he'll likely be doing stuff with her in the "other place". Except he was pretty blunt about it. She overhears this, is a little embarrassed and says "I have a strap on and do you in the same place tough guy". I was a little taken back by this whole turn of events and all I could think to say was "hey prostate isn't going to massage itself."

Here, I got a picture and everything. My link

So her husband is a homo?

No, he just likes to get fu... yeah I guess he is.

I don't know that he has sex with men so I wouldn't go that far.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

We were cleaning up yesterday for birthday party for the kids and there was a bottle of hand lotion in the kitchen.

Wife: I'm going to put this lotion in the bathroom.

Shuke: In the basket?

Wife: Huh?

Shuke: Are you putting the lotion in the basket?

Wife: I said I was putting it in the bathroom.

Shuke: PUT THE ####ING LOTION IN THE BASKET!

Wife walks away oblivious.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Anyone else still want in GMTAN Secret Santa? WIll be sending out the pairings in a little bit

I said I was in, but didn't give you an address. If it's too late that's fine.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

So Friday at the bar was the first time I've met this gal's husband. Nice chap. Anyhow, after a few cocktails were consumed, he remarks that my female friend, his wife, is horny and he'll likely be doing stuff with her in the "other place". Except he was pretty blunt about it. She overhears this, is a little embarrassed and says "I have a strap on and do you in the same place tough guy". I was a little taken back by this whole turn of events and all I could think to say was "hey prostate isn't going to massage itself."

Here, I got a picture and everything. My link

So her husband is a homo?

No, he just likes to get fu... yeah I guess he is.

I don't know that he has sex with men so I wouldn't go that far.

Yet

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

So Friday at the bar was the first time I've met this gal's husband. Nice chap. Anyhow, after a few cocktails were consumed, he remarks that my female friend, his wife, is horny and he'll likely be doing stuff with her in the "other place". Except he was pretty blunt about it. She overhears this, is a little embarrassed and says "I have a strap on and do you in the same place tough guy". I was a little taken back by this whole turn of events and all I could think to say was "hey prostate isn't going to massage itself."

Here, I got a picture and everything. My link

So her husband is a homo?

No, he just likes to get fu... yeah I guess he is.

I don't know that he has sex with men so I wouldn't go that far.

Yeah, he just likes the feeling of having sex with a man.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Anybody else here have their boss ask them to meet them in the boys restroom today or am I the only one?

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

I'm pretty much Scrooge McGrinch but this is a pretty cool Christmas commercial from the UK. My link.

Bonus: Great cover version of the Smiths.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

So Friday at the bar was the first time I've met this gal's husband. Nice chap. Anyhow, after a few cocktails were consumed, he remarks that my female friend, his wife, is horny and he'll likely be doing stuff with her in the "other place". Except he was pretty blunt about it. She overhears this, is a little embarrassed and says "I have a strap on and do you in the same place tough guy". I was a little taken back by this whole turn of events and all I could think to say was "hey prostate isn't going to massage itself."

Here, I got a picture and everything. My link

So her husband is a homo?

No, he just likes to get fu... yeah I guess he is.

I don't know that he has sex with men so I wouldn't go that far.

Yet

NTTAWWT

 

[Good Posting Judge]

So Friday at the bar was the first time I've met this gal's husband. Nice chap. Anyhow, after a few cocktails were consumed, he remarks that my female friend, his wife, is horny and he'll likely be doing stuff with her in the "other place". Except he was pretty blunt about it. She overhears this, is a little embarrassed and says "I have a strap on and do you in the same place tough guy". I was a little taken back by this whole turn of events and all I could think to say was "hey prostate isn't going to massage itself."

Here, I got a picture and everything. My link

Well played.

Which one of them are we talking about here?

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

So Friday at the bar was the first time I've met this gal's husband. Nice chap. Anyhow, after a few cocktails were consumed, he remarks that my female friend, his wife, is horny and he'll likely be doing stuff with her in the "other place". Except he was pretty blunt about it. She overhears this, is a little embarrassed and says "I have a strap on and do you in the same place tough guy". I was a little taken back by this whole turn of events and all I could think to say was "hey prostate isn't going to massage itself."

Here, I got a picture and everything. My link

Well played.

Which one of them are we talking about here?

The one with the giant bulge in her Gap jeans.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

So Friday at the bar was the first time I've met this gal's husband. Nice chap. Anyhow, after a few cocktails were consumed, he remarks that my female friend, his wife, is horny and he'll likely be doing stuff with her in the "other place". Except he was pretty blunt about it. She overhears this, is a little embarrassed and says "I have a strap on and do you in the same place tough guy". I was a little taken back by this whole turn of events and all I could think to say was "hey prostate isn't going to massage itself."

Here, I got a picture and everything. My link

Well played.

Which one of them are we talking about here?

The one with the giant bulge in her Gap jeans.

See the one that can't believe what her BFF since they were kids just announced? It's the other one.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

You don't say.

This keeps popping up on my page too.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

I'm pretty much Scrooge McGrinch but this is a pretty cool Christmas commercial from the UK. My link.

Bonus: Great cover version of the Smiths.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

So Friday at the bar was the first time I've met this gal's husband. Nice chap. Anyhow, after a few cocktails were consumed, he remarks that my female friend, his wife, is horny and he'll likely be doing stuff with her in the "other place". Except he was pretty blunt about it. She overhears this, is a little embarrassed and says "I have a strap on and do you in the same place tough guy". I was a little taken back by this whole turn of events and all I could think to say was "hey prostate isn't going to massage itself."

Here, I got a picture and everything. My link

Well played.

Which one of them are we talking about here?

The one with the giant bulge in her Gap jeans.

See the one that can't believe what her BFF since they were kids just announced? It's the other one.

Nevermind....I'm running low on aliai.

 

[YSR]

YSR, your box is full.

Try it now.

 

[Good Posting Judge]

The family that pegs together, wears adult diapers together.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

YSR, your box is full.

Try it now.

NEXT!

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Nevermind....I'm running low on aliai.

I think that was safe. This is actually my GB's wife's BFF. My link

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Nevermind....I'm running low on aliai.

I think that was safe. This is actually my GB's wife's BFF. My link

Thank you, Simone.

 

[Good Posting Judge]

Saw this headline and thought "Oh, that seems like something SLB would do."

http://www.cardplayer.com/poker-news/14554-man-allegedly-puts-wife-at-stake-in-gamble

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Parenting

 

[General Malaise]

Parenting

I don't get it.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Parenting

I don't get it.

The dad fakes like he's frozen so the kid thinks that time has stopped for everybody but him.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

This one is better.

Not funny but I really wish there were a lot more parents like this.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Parenting

I don't get it.

The dad fakes like he's frozen so the kid thinks that time has stopped for everybody but him.

I was trying to figure out what cyanide had to do with it. #imstupid

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Parenting

I don't get it.

The dad fakes like he's frozen so the kid thinks that time has stopped for everybody but him.

I was trying to figure out what cyanide had to do with it. #imstupid

"What does this have to do with peanuts? It's about a guy trying to kick a football but that girl keeps yanking it away!"

 

[Good Posting Judge]

This one is better.

Not funny but I really wish there were a lot more parents like this.

While I agree with the general sentiment:1) How do you get an "F" in a spelling bee?

2) Given the nature of a spelling bee, you can't really come down too hard on a kid. Maybe he's dumb, or maybe he just got a fluky-tough word early. I would gather more evidence before ripping the child a new one.

We had grade-wise spelling bees at our school. In 4th grade, I won in our class (LAM), and came in 2nd for the whole school (3rd-6th LAFM!!!!). Sixth grade I won outright. (LAM MF'ers!!!!!!)

Fifth grade, I don't think I even came close to making it to the school-wide spelling bee.