GM's thread about nothing (40 Viewers)

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Leave us alone

We'd live in the country

Leave us alone

We'd make it just fine

 

[Bob Sacamano]

Happy 40th Birthday, Canuck.

Not so fast, my friend. I still have 11 hours before I go into full-on midlife crisis mode.

Yeah, well, I'm probably going to be too busy to give a #### then, so enjoy all that bull####. Whenever it happens.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Used Tanner shtick when someone mentioned in a meeting that we're working for the weekend. "Oh yeah, Huey Lewis!"

Of course nobody gets it when it is pulled in real life.

A guy messaged me after the call. "Is that really Huey Lewis?" I said, "Or Steve Winwood"

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Used Tanner shtick when someone mentioned in a meeting that we're working for the weekend. "Oh yeah, Huey Lewis!"

Of course nobody gets it when it is pulled in real life.

A guy messaged me after the call. "Is that really Huey Lewis?" I said, "Or Steve Winwood"

Jesus

 

[Josie Maran]

Used Tanner shtick when someone mentioned in a meeting that we're working for the weekend. "Oh yeah, Huey Lewis!"

Of course nobody gets it when it is pulled in real life.

A guy messaged me after the call. "Is that really Huey Lewis?" I said, "Or Steve Winwood"

wn3d:

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Sometimes you get advice from the strangest sources

 

[Good Posting Judge]

Used Tanner shtick when someone mentioned in a meeting that we're working for the weekend. "Oh yeah, Huey Lewis!"

Of course nobody gets it when it is pulled in real life.

BTW, I urge everyone to join the "Will Smith Fan Club" on Facebook. Pretty awesome stuff.

 

[Crazy Canuck]

Happy 40th Birthday, Canuck.

Not so fast, my friend. I still have 11 hours before I go into full-on midlife crisis mode.

Yeah, well, I'm probably going to be too busy to give a #### then, so enjoy all that bull####. Whenever it happens.

Thanks, Bob.

 

[T Bell]

Used Tanner shtick when someone mentioned in a meeting that we're working for the weekend. "Oh yeah, Huey Lewis!"

Of course nobody gets it when it is pulled in real life.

That's at least half the fun, especially when you get people indignantly correcting you.

 

[T Bell]

Happy 40th Birthday, Canuck.

Not so fast, my friend. I still have 11 hours before I go into full-on midlife crisis mode.

Yeah, well, I'm probably going to be too busy to give a #### then, so enjoy all that bull####. Whenever it happens.

Thanks, Bob.

Happy 40th, GB. I'm 5.5 months away myself.

 

[Thorn]

At a continuing ed seminar and some kid who must have just passed the bar keeps interrupting to tell stories about when he was a summer associate at some big firm no ones ever heard of.

1000x worse than a deposition.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

At a continuing ed seminar and some kid who must have just passed the bar keeps interrupting to tell stories about when he was a summer associate at some big firm no ones ever heard of. 1000x worse than a deposition.

Ooof.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Really? Who thought this was a good name for a womens clothing store?

 

[Bogart]

At a continuing ed seminar and some kid who must have just passed the bar keeps interrupting to tell stories about when he was a summer associate at some big firm no ones ever heard of. 1000x worse than a deposition.

Pick up a giant Jenga piece and scream "I DON'T GIVE A ####!!!"

 

[YSR]

At a continuing ed seminar and some kid who must have just passed the bar keeps interrupting to tell stories about when he was a summer associate at some big firm no ones ever heard of. 1000x worse than a deposition.

Ooof.

If we're Ooofing about our workday:I have an emotionally needy coworker who is convinced that she will never meet anyone and is going to die alone (she's currently 27). She went over to a guy's house last week, they had a conversation about how he was only interested in being friends (and she told him the same thing), but then she "accidentally drank too much wine and had to go lie down." They ended up hooking up (I don't know exactly what that means, as she's a virgin until marriage) all night, and she's been in a shame spiral since. Today, she wrote a poem about it and had me read it. I'm so terrible with this type of thing - 5:00 cannot get here fast enough.

 

[T Bell]

At a continuing ed seminar and some kid who must have just passed the bar keeps interrupting to tell stories about when he was a summer associate at some big firm no ones ever heard of. 1000x worse than a deposition.

Ooof.

If we're Ooofing about our workday:I have an emotionally needy coworker who is convinced that she will never meet anyone and is going to die alone (she's currently 27). She went over to a guy's house last week, they had a conversation about how he was only interested in being friends (and she told him the same thing), but then she "accidentally drank too much wine and had to go lie down." They ended up hooking up (I don't know exactly what that means, as she's a virgin until marriage) all night, and she's been in a shame spiral since. Today, she wrote a poem about it and had me read it. I'm so terrible with this type of thing - 5:00 cannot get here fast enough.

Tell her he's probably wearing her hyman on a trophy necklace.

 

[-fish-]

At a continuing ed seminar and some kid who must have just passed the bar keeps interrupting to tell stories about when he was a summer associate at some big firm no ones ever heard of.

1000x worse than a deposition.

Ooof.

If we're Ooofing about our workday:I have an emotionally needy coworker who is convinced that she will never meet anyone and is going to die alone (she's currently 27). She went over to a guy's house last week, they had a conversation about how he was only interested in being friends (and she told him the same thing), but then she "accidentally drank too much wine and had to go lie down." They ended up hooking up (I don't know exactly what that means, as she's a virgin until marriage) all night, and she's been in a shame spiral since.



Today, she wrote a poem about it and had me read it. I'm so terrible with this type of thing - 5:00 cannot get here fast enough.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

At a continuing ed seminar and some kid who must have just passed the bar keeps interrupting to tell stories about when he was a summer associate at some big firm no ones ever heard of. 1000x worse than a deposition.

Ooof.

If we're Ooofing about our workday:I have an emotionally needy coworker who is convinced that she will never meet anyone and is going to die alone (she's currently 27). She went over to a guy's house last week, they had a conversation about how he was only interested in being friends (and she told him the same thing), but then she "accidentally drank too much wine and had to go lie down." They ended up hooking up (I don't know exactly what that means, as she's a virgin until marriage) all night, and she's been in a shame spiral since. Today, she wrote a poem about it and had me read it. I'm so terrible with this type of thing - 5:00 cannot get here fast enough.

Tell her he's probably wearing her hyman on a trophy necklace.

All of this.YSR: What kind of poem? Free verse? Rhyming couplets like all the kids I worked with at juvy hall were fond of?

 

[UniAlias]

At a continuing ed seminar and some kid who must have just passed the bar keeps interrupting to tell stories about when he was a summer associate at some big firm no ones ever heard of. 1000x worse than a deposition.

Ooof.

If we're Ooofing about our workday:I have an emotionally needy coworker who is convinced that she will never meet anyone and is going to die alone (she's currently 27). She went over to a guy's house last week, they had a conversation about how he was only interested in being friends (and she told him the same thing), but then she "accidentally drank too much wine and had to go lie down." They ended up hooking up (I don't know exactly what that means, as she's a virgin until marriage) all night, and she's been in a shame spiral since. Today, she wrote a poem about it and had me read it. I'm so terrible with this type of thing - 5:00 cannot get here fast enough.

Friggin' 27 year olds.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

At a continuing ed seminar and some kid who must have just passed the bar keeps interrupting to tell stories about when he was a summer associate at some big firm no ones ever heard of.

1000x worse than a deposition.

Ooof.

If we're Ooofing about our workday:I have an emotionally needy coworker who is convinced that she will never meet anyone and is going to die alone (she's currently 27). She went over to a guy's house last week, they had a conversation about how he was only interested in being friends (and she told him the same thing), but then she "accidentally drank too much wine and had to go lie down." They ended up hooking up (I don't know exactly what that means, as she's a virgin until marriage) all night, and she's been in a shame spiral since.

Today, she wrote a poem about it and had me read it. I'm so terrible with this type of thing - 5:00 cannot get here fast enough.

Her tonsils are sore and he can't wait until Lent is over.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

SLB & Homer: What do you think of our new Pope?

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Friggin' 27 year olds.

and WTMF is up with all of the people down south wanting to be virgins until they get married? I guess it explains some of Kentucky though.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

SLB & Homer: What do you think of our new Pope?

I have to run, didn't know we had a new Pope.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

SLB & Homer: What do you think of our new Pope?

I have to run, didn't know we had a new Pope.

Backslider.

 

[YSR]

At a continuing ed seminar and some kid who must have just passed the bar keeps interrupting to tell stories about when he was a summer associate at some big firm no ones ever heard of.

1000x worse than a deposition.

Ooof.

If we're Ooofing about our workday:I have an emotionally needy coworker who is convinced that she will never meet anyone and is going to die alone (she's currently 27). She went over to a guy's house last week, they had a conversation about how he was only interested in being friends (and she told him the same thing), but then she "accidentally drank too much wine and had to go lie down." They ended up hooking up (I don't know exactly what that means, as she's a virgin until marriage) all night, and she's been in a shame spiral since.

Today, she wrote a poem about it and had me read it. I'm so terrible with this type of thing - 5:00 cannot get here fast enough.

Tell her he's probably wearing her hyman on a trophy necklace.

All of this.

YSR: What kind of poem? Free verse? Rhyming couplets like all the kids I worked with at juvy hall were fond of?

Spoiler

Not My Heart

Kisses

pass between lips

and tongues

stained red

and we fall

into your unmade bed

it smells

of loneliness

and you reach

inside me

and pull out

my blackest part

not my heart

I gave it away

long ago

to the man before you

or maybe

before him

I don’t remember

ripping little pieces out

flinging them

to a boy

with golden eyes

to a man with copper skin

with hair dark as obsidian

so as you hold me

in your arms

lay your head on my chest

you will hear

nothing

just hollow

empty

silence

and the tears

that wet my cheeks

are akin to those of

crocodiles

weak imitations

shadows of the real thing

I no longer

mourn

what used to be

 

[-fish-]

Tanner in the parenting question thread...HFS.

 

[-fish-]

At a continuing ed seminar and some kid who must have just passed the bar keeps interrupting to tell stories about when he was a summer associate at some big firm no ones ever heard of.

1000x worse than a deposition.

Ooof.

If we're Ooofing about our workday:I have an emotionally needy coworker who is convinced that she will never meet anyone and is going to die alone (she's currently 27). She went over to a guy's house last week, they had a conversation about how he was only interested in being friends (and she told him the same thing), but then she "accidentally drank too much wine and had to go lie down." They ended up hooking up (I don't know exactly what that means, as she's a virgin until marriage) all night, and she's been in a shame spiral since.

Today, she wrote a poem about it and had me read it. I'm so terrible with this type of thing - 5:00 cannot get here fast enough.

Tell her he's probably wearing her hyman on a trophy necklace.

All of this.

YSR: What kind of poem? Free verse? Rhyming couplets like all the kids I worked with at juvy hall were fond of?

Spoiler

Not My Heart

Kisses

pass between lips

and tongues

stained red

and we fall

into your unmade bed

it smells

of loneliness

and you reach

inside me

and pull out

my blackest part

not my heart

I gave it away

long ago

to the man before you

or maybe

before him

I don’t remember

ripping little pieces out

flinging them

to a boy

with golden eyes

to a man with copper skin

with hair dark as obsidian

so as you hold me

in your arms

lay your head on my chest

you will hear

nothing

just hollow

empty

silence

and the tears

that wet my cheeks

are akin to those of

crocodiles

weak imitations

shadows of the real thing

I no longer

mourn

what used to be

8th grade girls think that poem is too melodramatic.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

At a continuing ed seminar and some kid who must have just passed the bar keeps interrupting to tell stories about when he was a summer associate at some big firm no ones ever heard of.

1000x worse than a deposition.

Ooof.

If we're Ooofing about our workday:I have an emotionally needy coworker who is convinced that she will never meet anyone and is going to die alone (she's currently 27). She went over to a guy's house last week, they had a conversation about how he was only interested in being friends (and she told him the same thing), but then she "accidentally drank too much wine and had to go lie down." They ended up hooking up (I don't know exactly what that means, as she's a virgin until marriage) all night, and she's been in a shame spiral since.

Today, she wrote a poem about it and had me read it. I'm so terrible with this type of thing - 5:00 cannot get here fast enough.

Tell her he's probably wearing her hyman on a trophy necklace.

All of this.

YSR: What kind of poem? Free verse? Rhyming couplets like all the kids I worked with at juvy hall were fond of?

Spoiler

Not My Heart

Kisses

pass between lips

and tongues

stained red

and we fall

into your unmade bed

it smells

of loneliness

and you reach

inside me

and pull out

my blackest part

not my heart

I gave it away

long ago

to the man before you

or maybe

before him

I don’t remember

ripping little pieces out

flinging them

to a boy

with golden eyes

to a man with copper skin

with hair dark as obsidian

so as you hold me

in your arms

lay your head on my chest

you will hear

nothing

just hollow

empty

silence

and the tears

that wet my cheeks

are akin to those of

crocodiles

weak imitations

shadows of the real thing

I no longer

mourn

what used to be

Do me a favor and punt her right in the lady business.

 

[Thorn]

He just corrected a presenter about the name of a case that set a particular precedent.

 

[Bogart]

At a continuing ed seminar and some kid who must have just passed the bar keeps interrupting to tell stories about when he was a summer associate at some big firm no ones ever heard of.

1000x worse than a deposition.

Ooof.

If we're Ooofing about our workday:I have an emotionally needy coworker who is convinced that she will never meet anyone and is going to die alone (she's currently 27). She went over to a guy's house last week, they had a conversation about how he was only interested in being friends (and she told him the same thing), but then she "accidentally drank too much wine and had to go lie down." They ended up hooking up (I don't know exactly what that means, as she's a virgin until marriage) all night, and she's been in a shame spiral since.

Today, she wrote a poem about it and had me read it. I'm so terrible with this type of thing - 5:00 cannot get here fast enough.

Tell her he's probably wearing her hyman on a trophy necklace.

All of this.

YSR: What kind of poem? Free verse? Rhyming couplets like all the kids I worked with at juvy hall were fond of?

Spoiler

Not My Heart

Kisses

pass between lips

and tongues

stained red

and we fall

into your unmade bed

it smells

of loneliness

and you reach

inside me

and pull out

my blackest part

not my heart

I gave it away

long ago

to the man before you

or maybe

before him

I don’t remember

ripping little pieces out

flinging them

to a boy

with golden eyes

to a man with copper skin

with hair dark as obsidian

so as you hold me

in your arms

lay your head on my chest

you will hear

nothing

just hollow

empty

silence

and the tears

that wet my cheeks

are akin to those of

crocodiles

weak imitations

shadows of the real thing

I no longer

mourn

what used to be

I'm changing "man" to "woman" and "boy" to "girl" and SO stealing this in the near future. This is golden. You know, for girls that read and stuff.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

He just corrected a presenter about the name of a case that set a particular precedent.

Gibbons v Ogden? Scott v Stanford? Balboa v Creed?

 

[Bogart]

And for the record, I highly doubt that smell was "loneliness".

 

[Thorn]

At a continuing ed seminar and some kid who must have just passed the bar keeps interrupting to tell stories about when he was a summer associate at some big firm no ones ever heard of.

1000x worse than a deposition.

Ooof.

If we're Ooofing about our workday:I have an emotionally needy coworker who is convinced that she will never meet anyone and is going to die alone (she's currently 27). She went over to a guy's house last week, they had a conversation about how he was only interested in being friends (and she told him the same thing), but then she "accidentally drank too much wine and had to go lie down." They ended up hooking up (I don't know exactly what that means, as she's a virgin until marriage) all night, and she's been in a shame spiral since.

Today, she wrote a poem about it and had me read it. I'm so terrible with this type of thing - 5:00 cannot get here fast enough.

Tell her he's probably wearing her hyman on a trophy necklace.

All of this.

YSR: What kind of poem? Free verse? Rhyming couplets like all the kids I worked with at juvy hall were fond of?

Spoiler

Not My Heart

Kisses

pass between lips

and tongues

stained red

and we fall

into your unmade bed

it smells

of loneliness

and you reach

inside me

and pull out

my blackest part

not my heart

I gave it away

long ago

to the man before you

or maybe

before him

I don’t remember

ripping little pieces out

flinging them

to a boy

with golden eyes

to a man with copper skin

with hair dark as obsidian

so as you hold me

in your arms

lay your head on my chest

you will hear

nothing

just hollow

empty

silence

and the tears

that wet my cheeks

are akin to those of

crocodiles

weak imitations

shadows of the real thing

I no longer

mourn

what used to be

Good holy christmas

 

[YSR]

She's remaining a virgin due to religion, I think. That's part of the whole shame spiral thing - she gets very caught up in her sin. For instance, an email I got last week:

I am by nature NOT a repenter. I want to be. I strive to be. But the truth is, my sin keeps coming to get me. I don't keep it out. I go to the store, purchase it, and call it a kitten, when really it is a hungry, full grown lioness with babies at home and I am the only living thing in the house. I pet my sin and believe that it loves me and that it will make me happy and while I think it is licking my hand out of affection, in reality, she is just playing with her food before she eats it. I am a fool.

 

[UniAlias]

SLB & Homer: What do you think of our new Pope?

I have to run, didn't know we had a new Pope.

 

[Disco Stu]

This girl sounds perfect for Woz.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

She's remaining a virgin due to religion, I think. That's part of the whole shame spiral thing - she gets very caught up in her sin. For instance, an email I got last week:

I am a fool.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

That girl is going to cut herself if she doesn't get some **** soon. And THEN she's probably going to cut the poor unfortunate ******* who stumbles into her.

You should give zooks her #.

 

[-fish-]

she's crazy enough.

is she hot?

does she believe she's still a virgin if she does it in the butt?

 

[The_Man]

She's remaining a virgin due to religion, I think. That's part of the whole shame spiral thing - she gets very caught up in her sin. For instance, an email I got last week:

I am by nature NOT a repenter. I want to be. I strive to be. But the truth is, my sin keeps coming to get me. I don't keep it out. I go to the store, purchase it, and call it a kitten, when really it is a hungry, full grown lioness with babies at home and I am the only living thing in the house. I pet my sin and believe that it loves me and that it will make me happy and while I think it is licking my hand out of affection, in reality, she is just playing with her food before she eats it. I am a fool.

I'm not good at poetry. In this example, does sin = va-gine?

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Equal time for stupid dogs

 

[Sweet J]

Equal time for stupid dogs

 

[Sweet J]

At a continuing ed seminar and some kid who must have just passed the bar keeps interrupting to tell stories about when he was a summer associate at some big firm no ones ever heard of.

1000x worse than a deposition.

Ooof.

If we're Ooofing about our workday:I have an emotionally needy coworker who is convinced that she will never meet anyone and is going to die alone (she's currently 27). She went over to a guy's house last week, they had a conversation about how he was only interested in being friends (and she told him the same thing), but then she "accidentally drank too much wine and had to go lie down." They ended up hooking up (I don't know exactly what that means, as she's a virgin until marriage) all night, and she's been in a shame spiral since.

Today, she wrote a poem about it and had me read it. I'm so terrible with this type of thing - 5:00 cannot get here fast enough.

Tell her he's probably wearing her hyman on a trophy necklace.

All of this.

YSR: What kind of poem? Free verse? Rhyming couplets like all the kids I worked with at juvy hall were fond of?

Spoiler

Not My Heart

Kisses

pass between lips

and tongues

stained red

and we fall

into your unmade bed

it smells

of loneliness

and you reach

inside me

and pull out

my blackest part

not my heart

I gave it away

long ago

to the man before you

or maybe

before him

I don’t remember

ripping little pieces out

flinging them

to a boy

with golden eyes

to a man with copper skin

with hair dark as obsidian

so as you hold me

in your arms

lay your head on my chest

you will hear

nothing

just hollow

empty

silence

and the tears

that wet my cheeks

are akin to those of

crocodiles

weak imitations

shadows of the real thing

I no longer

mourn

what used to be

Good holy christmasWhat. The. F###.

 

[Gadzooks]

That girl is going to cut herself if she doesn't get some **** soon. And THEN she's probably going to cut the poor unfortunate ******* who stumbles into her. You should give zooks her #.

In

 

[Sweet J]

At a continuing ed seminar and some kid who must have just passed the bar keeps interrupting to tell stories about when he was a summer associate at some big firm no ones ever heard of.

1000x worse than a deposition.

Ooof.

If we're Ooofing about our workday:I have an emotionally needy coworker who is convinced that she will never meet anyone and is going to die alone (she's currently 27). She went over to a guy's house last week, they had a conversation about how he was only interested in being friends (and she told him the same thing), but then she "accidentally drank too much wine and had to go lie down." They ended up hooking up (I don't know exactly what that means, as she's a virgin until marriage) all night, and she's been in a shame spiral since.



Today, she wrote a poem about it and had me read it. I'm so terrible with this type of thing - 5:00 cannot get here fast enough.

 

[Gadzooks]

Rough day today. Now heading out to a networking event. This new guy emailed a few us asking what we do at these networking events, I replied "you effing network!!!" Then I said, "Just kidding, I'm gonna get loaded and do things I'll regret later (actually true)"

SLB: is it ok when I'm drunk in a few hours to sext with Mrs. SLB? If your answer is yes, do you want to give me her number or is it easier for you to be the middle man and just forward the texts back and forth?

 

[Bogart]

I'll take Psycho Poet's number if Zooks is busy networking and ####.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Equal time for stupid dogs

Aaannnd we're back!

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Related: Cat-like reflexes

 

[T Bell]

Friggin' 27 year olds.

and WTMF is up with all of the people down south wanting to be virgins until they get married? I guess it explains some of Kentucky though.

Sex doesn't count if it's with your cousin. It's in the Bible. Sodomy also.