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GM's thread about nothing (22 Viewers)

Frostillicus said:
Frostillicus said:
YSR said:
General Malaise said:
Frostillicus said:
General Malaise said:
Brewers cost me a ton of money tonight. I hope they lose every game the rest of the season. Sorry Stryker.
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But did you play Frostyprops?
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:bag:I did today, though. Which means you guys are screwed.
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I guess I'm off the FrostyProps mailing list? :kicksrock:ETA:
General Malaise said:
>

Jaysus said:
General Malaise said:
Sure would be nice if Philadephia could score some runs today off James Freaking McDonald.
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:hot:
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Fund day of gambling...was enjoying a nice 3-1 Philies lead, covering the Run Line, parlayed in with Detroit who was winning 2-1 for a while and all was grand in the world. And then...the wheels just fell right off everywhere. And the day I play Frosty's props? I YSR them. I suck. Life sucks. I hate everything.
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Never mind. I guess this explains it.
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No it's just 5dimes props. If you have 5dimes let me know. Or bovada. Or actually maybe sportsbetting. I'll add you.
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2 bets went from win to push since I posted this. You can't make it up. I can't decide if this is progress or confirmation.
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:lmao: It's okay. I don't have 5Dimes (though I have the other two). I just thought you had stopped sending them and I was just all :kicksrock: to learn differently.
 
Drifter said:
Our friend Guster and his channelling of GM's pony picks at Keeneland was such a hit that the individual who hosted us at Keeneland has asked me if Guster would like to attend the Kentucky Oaks with him.
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:lmao: :lmao:I think I got lucky with some easy races to cap. I've got the DerbyHole folks coming in, but appreciate his inquiry. Plus, I'd rather stay magical in his mind. Who knows if I can do it again
 
UniAlias said:
Tonight I ate an entire large pepperoni pizza by myself and lost several hundred dollars on online blackjack. I'm hoping how I feel right now is the low point of my week. :bag:
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Come to the Gingerman right after work today. Prep for the crawl tomorrow. :banned:

I'll be there passing out shirts... hopefully to people on my team and not just random girls.

 
shuke said:
Holy #### this board is slow.
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Joe and Dodds should consider the draft a trial run. The verdict is in: if they don't change this software by football season, this place will collapse come August.

cosjobs said:
Crazy Canuck said:
Good god I loathe this Thurday night class of lunatics.

Peer review today. Every other section I teach had 1 maybe 2 students show up with no rough draft. This class has 4 people with drafts, 10 sitting there with nothing. I told all ten to leave. I've never done that before. "Ok, buy. No reason for you all to be here."

Then one guy says he has a question, and basically makes me restate the entire unit on writing research papers. A quick look shows he hasn't handed in anything all unit long.

:wall:
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So how long is your unit?
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1. Nice grammar, English teacher.

2. Trying to think of shtick response, but I got nothing. It's been a long week. The unit is over a month long, but nothing was due until the last week. We've just been reading and going over writing techniques.

Thorn said:
Abraham said:
General Malaise said:
or rap. I can't tell the difference between the two very well.
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Does hip hop even exist anymore?
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oh dear lord
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:lmao: :lmao:

GM and Abe just won the FFA's Whitest Conversation Award. Many thought Peens or Jon_mx would have it locked up again, but no, GhostDog & The Texas Rodeoclown take it in a shocker.

 
Homer J Simpson said:
I just performed surgery on myself.

This character has popped up in the last few days, and being a greasy hairy Eye-talian, this sort of thing comes up every few years at some point on my body. This time, it decided that dead-center of the forehead was the perfect location. Happily enough, as a bartender in front of hundreds of people this weekend, it's not like anyone will notice! WOOHOO!

Surgical supplies included a roll of gauze, a box of lancets, neosporin, antibacterial handsoap, toilet paper, a bottle of vodka, several beers, Marlboro Lights, and in case the lancets weren't good enough, a box of pushpins. And FYI, the pushpins weren't enough either and a paring knife was brought into the situation.

Anyway, I took a whole series of pictures at different stages of the event and was totally looking forward to grossing you all out. Especially the one with a pushpin sticking a full 3/4 inch into my forehead. :thumbup:

Took pics of that, and one of the massive blood loss being dribbled all over the sink, plus one of the bathroom mirror completely splattered with disgusting crap. Good times! But once things really started getting serious and I had gone through half a roll of gauze, I startyed to re-think things. It was so disgusting that it made me throw up.

So there you go. It was so nasty that it made ME puke...consider yourself lucky that I'm nice enough not to have taken video.
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Not sure why you're fighting this. Everyone knows 14 year old girls love unicorns.

 
They opened a Menard's pretty close to us last week. From everything I've read, I hope John Menard burns in hell. However they had this gun safe on sale for $47 and I couldn't help but stick it to the man. I only have a shotgun these days and my boys aren't even aware of it but I figure I should be responsible and keep it locked.

Still smug from ### banging big John out of 70 bucks or so I headed to Chik-Fil-A for a little celebration. I was surprised to see 4 cars ahead of me in the drive through but they banged them out in the usual fashion. As I approached the window, the cashier told me the broad in the car ahead of me paid for my food. The best thing is there wasn't anybody behind me so I wasn't guilted into returning the favor.

ANOTHER WIN FOR MILOS!!!

 
The girlfriend is out of town. I try to work from home these days so I can hang out with the dogs. I also become a complete animal when I'm left alone. I drink too much, eat crap, beat it to Craigslist ads...whatever.

I took the garbage and recyclables to the curb last night. We have a smaller receptacle indoors that we empty into the bigger one. I took this out and placed it in the bin while I dragged the big bins to the curb. My intent was to then grab said smaller bin and bring it back inside. This did not happen. Now I have to go to ####### Target.

 
Crazy Canuck said:
Homer J Simpson said:
I just performed surgery on myself.

This character has popped up in the last few days, and being a greasy hairy Eye-talian, this sort of thing comes up every few years at some point on my body. This time, it decided that dead-center of the forehead was the perfect location. Happily enough, as a bartender in front of hundreds of people this weekend, it's not like anyone will notice! WOOHOO!

Surgical supplies included a roll of gauze, a box of lancets, neosporin, antibacterial handsoap, toilet paper, a bottle of vodka, several beers, Marlboro Lights, and in case the lancets weren't good enough, a box of pushpins. And FYI, the pushpins weren't enough either and a paring knife was brought into the situation.

Anyway, I took a whole series of pictures at different stages of the event and was totally looking forward to grossing you all out. Especially the one with a pushpin sticking a full 3/4 inch into my forehead. :thumbup:

Took pics of that, and one of the massive blood loss being dribbled all over the sink, plus one of the bathroom mirror completely splattered with disgusting crap. Good times! But once things really started getting serious and I had gone through half a roll of gauze, I startyed to re-think things. It was so disgusting that it made me throw up.

So there you go. It was so nasty that it made ME puke...consider yourself lucky that I'm nice enough not to have taken video.
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Not sure why you're fighting this. Everyone knows 14 year old girls love unicorns.
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This deserved more love

 
Homer J Simpson said:
I just performed surgery on myself.

This character has popped up in the last few days, and being a greasy hairy Eye-talian, this sort of thing comes up every few years at some point on my body. This time, it decided that dead-center of the forehead was the perfect location. Happily enough, as a bartender in front of hundreds of people this weekend, it's not like anyone will notice! WOOHOO!

Surgical supplies included a roll of gauze, a box of lancets, neosporin, antibacterial handsoap, toilet paper, a bottle of vodka, several beers, Marlboro Lights, and in case the lancets weren't good enough, a box of pushpins. And FYI, the pushpins weren't enough either and a paring knife was brought into the situation.

Anyway, I took a whole series of pictures at different stages of the event and was totally looking forward to grossing you all out. Especially the one with a pushpin sticking a full 3/4 inch into my forehead. :thumbup:

Took pics of that, and one of the massive blood loss being dribbled all over the sink, plus one of the bathroom mirror completely splattered with disgusting crap. Good times! But once things really started getting serious and I had gone through half a roll of gauze, I startyed to re-think things. It was so disgusting that it made me throw up.

So there you go. It was so nasty that it made ME puke...consider yourself lucky that I'm nice enough not to have taken video.
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Don't worrry, gb. You're in the right place. I'm sure there are plenty of GMTAN lawyers willing to handle your lawsuit vs the makers of the St Louis Bob Gaping Headvag Wound Starter Kit, pro boner, if they don't honor their 30 day money back guarantee

 
Limp Ditka said:
Limp Ditka, on 26 Apr 2013 - 13:09, said:

Homer J Simpson said:
Homer J Simpson, on 26 Apr 2013 - 00:19, said:

I just performed surgery on myself.

This character has popped up in the last few days, and being a greasy hairy Eye-talian, this sort of thing comes up every few years at some point on my body. This time, it decided that dead-center of the forehead was the perfect location. Happily enough, as a bartender in front of hundreds of people this weekend, it's not like anyone will notice! WOOHOO!

Surgical supplies included a roll of gauze, a box of lancets, neosporin, antibacterial handsoap, toilet paper, a bottle of vodka, several beers, Marlboro Lights, and in case the lancets weren't good enough, a box of pushpins. And FYI, the pushpins weren't enough either and a paring knife was brought into the situation.

Anyway, I took a whole series of pictures at different stages of the event and was totally looking forward to grossing you all out. Especially the one with a pushpin sticking a full 3/4 inch into my forehead. :thumbup:

Took pics of that, and one of the massive blood loss being dribbled all over the sink, plus one of the bathroom mirror completely splattered with disgusting crap. Good times! But once things really started getting serious and I had gone through half a roll of gauze, I startyed to re-think things. It was so disgusting that it made me throw up.

So there you go. It was so nasty that it made ME puke...consider yourself lucky that I'm nice enough not to have taken video.
Click to expand...
Don't worrry, gb. You're in the right place. I'm sure there are plenty of GMTAN lawyers willing to handle your lawsuit vs the makers of the St Louis Bob Gaping Headvag Wound Starter Kit, pro boner, if they don't honor their 30 day money back guarantee
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And if you aren't 100% satisfied with your St Louis Bob Gaping Headvag Wound Starter Kit, within the first 30 days, just return the kit and keep the neck brace as our gift to you.
 
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Disco Stu said:
UniAlias said:
Tonight I ate an entire large pepperoni pizza by myself and lost several hundred dollars on online blackjack. I'm hoping how I feel right now is the low point of my week. :bag:
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Come to the Gingerman right after work today. Prep for the crawl tomorrow. :banned:

I'll be there passing out shirts... hopefully to people on my team and not just random girls.
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LOVE the Gingerman! Good to know it's still a thing. :thumbup:

 
Dear St. Louis Bob -

I would like to personally thank you for the package I received in the mail yesterday. Though I freaked out a little bit when I discovered that you included a box of cheese food that I was certain was ruined due to lack of refrigeration, I was assuaged by the fact that Velveeta doesn't need to be kept in the ice box until it's opened. Comforted, yet confused all the same. What happens upon opening that necessitates refrigeration? :confused:

I digress. I gave my wife the recipe for rye bread pizzas and told her they weren't going to make themselves. Then I slept on the couch. That bad news is buffered by the fact that you sent me a 12 pack of beer which I immediately rushed to my man cave mini-fridge for a chill down. I don't know how long you spent individually wrapping each 12 oz bottle, but I'm guessing Guster could write a trip review from Saturn that would take less time.

In short, your continued generosity and dazzling display of creativity in all your care packages is a true hallmark of yours and a nice legacy you have created for the Catshirt Bob Franchise and Family. I shall consume all frosty cold hand beers by the close of Sunday and might use the Velveeta to spackle up some holes in the dry wall of our garage.Yours In Vishnu,General Malaise

 
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General Malaise said:
Dear St. Louis Bob -

I would like to personally thank you for the package I received in the mail yesterday. Though I freaked out a little bit when I discovered that you included a box of cheese food that I was certain was ruined due to lack of refrigeration, I was assuaged by the fact that Velveeta doesn't need to be kept in the ice box until it's opened. Comforted, yet confused all the same. What happens upon opening that necessitates refrigeration? :confused:

I digress. I gave my wife the recipe for rye bread pizzas and told her they weren't going to make themselves. Then I slept on the couch. That bad news is buffered by the fact that you sent me a 12 pack of beer which I immediately rushed to my man cave mini-fridge for a chill down. I don't know how long you spent individually wrapping each 12 oz bottle, but I'm guessing Guster could write a trip review from Saturn that would take less time.

In short, your continued generosity and dazzling display of creativity in all your care packages is a true hallmark of yours and a nice legacy you have created for the Catshirt Bob Franchise and Family. I shall consume all frosty cold hand beers by the close of Sunday and might use the Velveeta to spackle up some holes in the dry wall of our garage.Yours In Vishnu,General Malaise
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I want this post on my engraved on my tombstone.

You're welcome GB.

 
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