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GM's thread about nothing (38 Viewers)

I won't click on that link because of the wording in the url. And the headline being, "Ohio man arrested for ####ing pool raft" would be funny enough. But that GD "again" at the end leaves me laughing every time I see it. WTF? Cereal raft ####er?

 
Let's get serious for a minute. I mean we're not here to judge, right? I'm sure all of us here have boinked something inflatable...maybe more than once. In my younger days I once spent a romantic weekend with a Sock-em Bopper filled with butterscotch pudding.

But there is a line. I mean busted for drilling a raft (in public) FIVE times? I can see two maybe three arrests for this but five? This guy need to sit down and evaluate somethings in his life.

 
Officer Pete Malloy said:
Let's get serious for a minute. I mean we're not here to judge, right? I'm sure all of us here have boinked something inflatable...maybe more than once. In my younger days I once spent a romantic weekend with a Sock-em Bopper filled with butterscotch pudding.

But there is a line. I mean busted for drilling a raft (in public) FIVE times? I can see two maybe three arrests for this but five? This guy need to sit down and evaluate somethings in his life.
Click to expand...
The man's got a dream, guy. He's got goals. Why should he stop after one failure? I couldn't respect that. If the first time didn't take, maybe she'll get pregnant the next time. The man just wants a quiet life with his beloved raft and their little floaties. I can't criticize that.

 
Officer Pete Malloy said:
Let's get serious for a minute. I mean we're not here to judge, right? I'm sure all of us here have boinked something inflatable...maybe more than once. In my younger days I once spent a romantic weekend with a Sock-em Bopper filled with butterscotch pudding.

But there is a line. I mean busted for drilling a raft (in public) FIVE times? I can see two maybe three arrests for this but five? This guy need to sit down and evaluate somethings in his life.
Click to expand...
It's a sickness, really. You start out one day wondering how that rubbery slickness you experience sliding a swim fin off your foot would feel wrapped around the head of your ####. Well, after you've slid one of those fins in and out of your board shorts a few thousand times, you start looking for an easier hook up. You go through 3 or 4 dozen Princess Arial dive sticks and then you've got to find a more economically feasible sexual partner. I... er, um... You briefly consider an innertube, but I mean, come on - who are you kidding? The noodle connectors are too small, the innertube's too big, you find just the right float for some period of time, but before you know it you've pricked 18 rafts and you find yourself getting ready to poke your #### into the bilge pump of a 21' runabout when security from the yacht club comes running up with a baton and a maglight wanting to know what you think you're doing and the doctors don't seem to know how to help and your wife doesn't understand why you ask her to put on a snorkel before you make love and the seal at Sea World looks much more comely than you remember...

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Bob Sacamano said:
Officer Pete Malloy said:
Let's get serious for a minute. I mean we're not here to judge, right? I'm sure all of us here have boinked something inflatable...maybe more than once. In my younger days I once spent a romantic weekend with a Sock-em Bopper filled with butterscotch pudding.

But there is a line. I mean busted for drilling a raft (in public) FIVE times? I can see two maybe three arrests for this but five? This guy need to sit down and evaluate somethings in his life.
Click to expand...
It's a sickness, really. You start out one day wondering how that rubbery slickness you experience sliding a swim fin off your foot would feel wrapped around the head of your ####. Well, after you've slid one of those fins in and out of your board shorts a few thousand times, you start looking for an easier hook up. You go through 3 or 4 dozen Princess Arial dive sticks and then you've got to find a more economically feasible sexual partner. I... er, um... You briefly consider an innertube, but I mean, come on - who are you kidding? The noodle connectors are too small, the innertube's too big, you find just the right float for some period of time, but before you know it you've pricked 18 rafts and you find yourself getting ready to poke your #### into the bilge pump of a 21' runabout when security from the yacht club comes running up with a baton and a maglight wanting to know what you think you're doing and the doctors don't seem to know how to help and your wife doesn't understand why you ask her to put on a snorkel before you make love and the seal at Sea World looks much more comely than you remember...
Click to expand...
:lmao:

I love you. Tell your company to buy a Hamptons subsidiary.

 
Homer J Simpson said:
Bob Sacamano said:
Officer Pete Malloy said:
Let's get serious for a minute. I mean we're not here to judge, right? I'm sure all of us here have boinked something inflatable...maybe more than once. In my younger days I once spent a romantic weekend with a Sock-em Bopper filled with butterscotch pudding.

But there is a line. I mean busted for drilling a raft (in public) FIVE times? I can see two maybe three arrests for this but five? This guy need to sit down and evaluate somethings in his life.
Click to expand...
It's a sickness, really. You start out one day wondering how that rubbery slickness you experience sliding a swim fin off your foot would feel wrapped around the head of your ####. Well, after you've slid one of those fins in and out of your board shorts a few thousand times, you start looking for an easier hook up. You go through 3 or 4 dozen Princess Arial dive sticks and then you've got to find a more economically feasible sexual partner. I... er, um... You briefly consider an innertube, but I mean, come on - who are you kidding? The noodle connectors are too small, the innertube's too big, you find just the right float for some period of time, but before you know it you've pricked 18 rafts and you find yourself getting ready to poke your #### into the bilge pump of a 21' runabout when security from the yacht club comes running up with a baton and a maglight wanting to know what you think you're doing and the doctors don't seem to know how to help and your wife doesn't understand why you ask her to put on a snorkel before you make love and the seal at Sea World looks much more comely than you remember...
Click to expand...
:lmao:

I love you. Tell your company to buy a Hamptons subsidiary.
Click to expand...
Classic boy meets raft story.

 
Idiot Boxer said:
Homer J Simpson said:
Bob Sacamano said:
Officer Pete Malloy said:
Let's get serious for a minute. I mean we're not here to judge, right? I'm sure all of us here have boinked something inflatable...maybe more than once. In my younger days I once spent a romantic weekend with a Sock-em Bopper filled with butterscotch pudding.

But there is a line. I mean busted for drilling a raft (in public) FIVE times? I can see two maybe three arrests for this but five? This guy need to sit down and evaluate somethings in his life.
Click to expand...
It's a sickness, really. You start out one day wondering how that rubbery slickness you experience sliding a swim fin off your foot would feel wrapped around the head of your ####. Well, after you've slid one of those fins in and out of your board shorts a few thousand times, you start looking for an easier hook up. You go through 3 or 4 dozen Princess Arial dive sticks and then you've got to find a more economically feasible sexual partner. I... er, um... You briefly consider an innertube, but I mean, come on - who are you kidding? The noodle connectors are too small, the innertube's too big, you find just the right float for some period of time, but before you know it you've pricked 18 rafts and you find yourself getting ready to poke your #### into the bilge pump of a 21' runabout when security from the yacht club comes running up with a baton and a maglight wanting to know what you think you're doing and the doctors don't seem to know how to help and your wife doesn't understand why you ask her to put on a snorkel before you make love and the seal at Sea World looks much more comely than you remember...
Click to expand...
:lmao:

I love you. Tell your company to buy a Hamptons subsidiary.
Click to expand...
Classic boy meets raft story.
Click to expand...
Best blow job I've ever... you know what, nevermind.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Homer J Simpson said:
Bob Sacamano said:
Officer Pete Malloy said:
Let's get serious for a minute. I mean we're not here to judge, right? I'm sure all of us here have boinked something inflatable...maybe more than once. In my younger days I once spent a romantic weekend with a Sock-em Bopper filled with butterscotch pudding.

But there is a line. I mean busted for drilling a raft (in public) FIVE times? I can see two maybe three arrests for this but five? This guy need to sit down and evaluate somethings in his life.
Click to expand...
It's a sickness, really. You start out one day wondering how that rubbery slickness you experience sliding a swim fin off your foot would feel wrapped around the head of your ####. Well, after you've slid one of those fins in and out of your board shorts a few thousand times, you start looking for an easier hook up. You go through 3 or 4 dozen Princess Arial dive sticks and then you've got to find a more economically feasible sexual partner. I... er, um... You briefly consider an innertube, but I mean, come on - who are you kidding? The noodle connectors are too small, the innertube's too big, you find just the right float for some period of time, but before you know it you've pricked 18 rafts and you find yourself getting ready to poke your #### into the bilge pump of a 21' runabout when security from the yacht club comes running up with a baton and a maglight wanting to know what you think you're doing and the doctors don't seem to know how to help and your wife doesn't understand why you ask her to put on a snorkel before you make love and the seal at Sea World looks much more comely than you remember...
Click to expand...
:lmao:

I love you. Tell your company to buy a Hamptons subsidiary.
Click to expand...
:lmao: :lmao:

 
-fish- said:
General Malaise said:
I love how all of ya'll are acting high and mighty, as if you've never even once considered it. LOOK AT ALL THESE OPTIONS!!!! For christ's sake. these rafts make Belladonna look like an Amish school marm.
Click to expand...
plus beer holders. I'm convinced. I've got a case of beer, a bottle of vodka an air compressor and knuckles' vat o' lube she left at my house.

can't wait for the weekend!
Click to expand...
You gonna tell the raft about your herp first?

 
General Malaise said:
-fish- said:
General Malaise said:
I love how all of ya'll are acting high and mighty, as if you've never even once considered it. LOOK AT ALL THESE OPTIONS!!!! For christ's sake. these rafts make Belladonna look like an Amish school marm.
Click to expand...
plus beer holders. I'm convinced. I've got a case of beer, a bottle of vodka an air compressor and knuckles' vat o' lube she left at my house.

can't wait for the weekend!
Click to expand...
You gonna tell the raft about your herp first?
Click to expand...
nah. rafts aren't judgmental.

 
General Malaise said:
-fish- said:
General Malaise said:
I love how all of ya'll are acting high and mighty, as if you've never even once considered it. LOOK AT ALL THESE OPTIONS!!!! For christ's sake. these rafts make Belladonna look like an Amish school marm.
Click to expand...
plus beer holders. I'm convinced. I've got a case of beer, a bottle of vodka an air compressor and knuckles' vat o' lube she left at my house.

can't wait for the weekend!
Click to expand...
You gonna tell the raft about your herp first?
Click to expand...
Been covered

 
General Malaise said:
-fish- said:
General Malaise said:
I love how all of ya'll are acting high and mighty, as if you've never even once considered it. LOOK AT ALL THESE OPTIONS!!!! For christ's sake. these rafts make Belladonna look like an Amish school marm.
Click to expand...
plus beer holders. I'm convinced. I've got a case of beer, a bottle of vodka an air compressor and knuckles' vat o' lube she left at my house.

can't wait for the weekend!
Click to expand...
You gonna tell the raft about your herp first?
Click to expand...
"It was the swim time party island wasn't it! That whore!"

 
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