GM's thread about nothing (32 Viewers)

[Guster]

My friends do not resemble Guster's in any way.

Shot video, please.

I'll see what I can do, but this should be possible

 

[Guster]

So a friend is hosting a bachelorette party this weekend for one of her friends that I don't know. They will be out bar hopping and have a party bus driving them around most of the night. My friend asked me to meet up with them right before the last hour (1-2a) with some pizzas to help make sure they aren't too drunk to keep things going.

Other than pretending to be a stripper, any shtick suggestions?

Cut hole in the bottom of the pizza box.

Yeah, I think having sex with the bachelorette is probably the way to go here.

Already offered. My friend agrees that I should because she doesn't think her friend should marry this guy, but doesn't think the bachelorette would go for it

 

[-fish-]

Anything worse than your kid having to try to shill crap door to door for a school fundraiser?

 

[Limp Ditka]

Anything worse than your kid having to try to shill crap door to door for a school fundraiser?

No. And I refuse to do it.

me - $100 dollars of candy in that box?

wife - yes

me - I'll write a check.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Anything worse than your kid having to try to shill crap door to door for a school fundraiser?

Genocide

 

[Ignoramus]

Anything worse than your kid having to try to shill crap door to door for a school fundraiser?

Yes: hitting up your coworkers to buy crap your kid is selling for a school fundraiser. Seriously. Send that little ####er door-to-door and get him accustomed to the hustle.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Hey Thorn, congrats, just noticed.

Can you share with those of us not the FB friends with him?

He won the football pool.

Anything worse than your kid having to try to shill crap door to door for a school fundraiser?

I'm confident that having to do that made me successful later in life. I understand your sentiment though.

Dylan is apparently a selling machine too. They have to sell popcorn for the Scouts, again I hear you, just let me cut a check, and he sold almost every bag the entire troop had last Friday night out in front of Walmart. Mrs. SLB came home, literally like this . I asked her what was wrong and she said "he just kept approaching people, selling popcorn. He didn't have any fear and they just kept buying. It was so weird because we usually have a pretty tough time."

Needless to say I'm proud as hell.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Anything worse than your kid having to try to shill crap door to door for a school fundraiser?

Genocide

I hate you.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Tanner, thoughts on a teacher that e-mails me and signs it Mrs. "teacher"? This gal is young enough to be my daughter.

How about the principal? I call him by his first name but think that might be a #### move.

I'll hang up and listen.

 

[Ignoramus]

Hey Thorn, congrats, just noticed.

Can you share with those of us not the FB friends with him?

He won the football pool.

Anything worse than your kid having to try to shill crap door to door for a school fundraiser?

I'm confident that having to do that made me successful later in life. I understand your sentiment though.

Dylan is apparently a selling machine too. They have to sell popcorn for the Scouts, again I hear you, just let me cut a check, and he sold almost every bag the entire troop had last Friday night out in front of Walmart. Mrs. SLB came home, literally like this . I asked her what was wrong and she said "he just kept approaching people, selling popcorn. He didn't have any fear and they just kept buying. It was so weird because we usually have a pretty tough time."

Needless to say I'm proud as hell.

 

[-fish-]

Taking this to the Facebook.

 

[Good Posting Judge]

So a friend is hosting a bachelorette party this weekend for one of her friends that I don't know. They will be out bar hopping and have a party bus driving them around most of the night. My friend asked me to meet up with them right before the last hour (1-2a) with some pizzas to help make sure they aren't too drunk to keep things going.

Other than pretending to be a stripper, any shtick suggestions?

Cut hole in the bottom of the pizza box.

If you're not willing to use your own ****, you could buy a large, black apparatus and put it in the pizza box. That should be good for a laugh or two.

And then while all the gals are having a good yuk-yuk, you have sex with the bachelorette. Boom, 20+ likes on this post.

 

[FatMax]

Boom, 20+ likes on this post.

You can like posts here? #### like this is what really screws with my head when I decided to crawl out from under my comfortable rock.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

Anything worse than your kid having to try to shill crap door to door for a school fundraiser?

Genocide

Meh. Six of one...

 

[Frostillicus]

So a friend is hosting a bachelorette party this weekend for one of her friends that I don't know. They will be out bar hopping and have a party bus driving them around most of the night. My friend asked me to meet up with them right before the last hour (1-2a) with some pizzas to help make sure they aren't too drunk to keep things going.

Other than pretending to be a stripper, any shtick suggestions?

Cut hole in the bottom of the pizza box.

If you're not willing to use your own ****, you could buy a large, black apparatus and put it in the pizza box. That should be good for a laugh or two.

And then while all the gals are having a good yuk-yuk, you have sex with the bachelorette. Boom, 20+ likes on this post.

This is so brilliant it makes me hate you a little bit. You're lucky we're both A's fans right now.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Anything worse than your kid having to try to shill crap door to door for a school fundraiser?

No. And I refuse to do it.

me - $100 dollars of candy in that box?

wife - yes

me - I'll write a check.

This will be me.

Well, actually I'll do nothing and my wife will try really hard and then I'll write the $87 check at the last moment to get to $100.

Hi sweetie, love ya!

 

[T Bell]

I have some interesting/crazy news.

Remember my buddy that got arrested for supposedly pointing a rifle at a cop. The case was thrown out. Great news. I've known him and his wife for over 20 years. They were both great at school and were as straight as good be. Bad news is GB is a teacher and lost his job until another hearing where he now has to prove his innocence. Something like that, doesn't sound right to me but I'm getting this second hand. So the case was thrown out because their was lack of evidence and this cop has a record of doing something crooked ####. How he is on the force, I don't know. He isn't even a cop around here, he's from back in the old hood. So after the hearing, GB's wife hears this cop tell a copy from around here "you need to find something, there's something you can find to charge this guy right?". She immediately reported it and now there is a #### storm of investigations into the local police department. The crazy thing is that these are the guys that were "investigating" my nephew's "death". I can't say much but the lead guy in his case is no longer on the force. Crazy.

Keep pressing them. That's the only way that you're going to get anywhere. Be the squeaky wheel.

 

[T Bell]

So a friend is hosting a bachelorette party this weekend for one of her friends that I don't know. They will be out bar hopping and have a party bus driving them around most of the night. My friend asked me to meet up with them right before the last hour (1-2a) with some pizzas to help make sure they aren't too drunk to keep things going.

Other than pretending to be a stripper, any shtick suggestions?

Cut hole in the bottom of the pizza box.

"Did you order a .... large?"

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Neg the #### out of one of them by giving her a salad instead of pizza. #niagarafalls

 

[Guster]

Neg the #### out of one of them by giving her a salad instead of pizza. #niagarafalls

No pizza for you fatty, here's a salad and some vinaigrette, #####

 

[krista4]

Don't have time to catch up on the thread, and apologies if it's full of good news while I'll be a downer again. Remember early this year how 1/3 of my employees had cancer? Well the worst of them was my friend Mark who had an aggressive leukemia. He was diagnosed in January and hasn't been back to work...chemo then stem cell transplant then more of everything. He was doing better after all that but after one week at home was admitted to the hospital again and is in ICU. Spots on his lungs and inability to keep oxygen saturation at an appropriate level. He's on a ventilator and I don't know the prognosis but it ain't great.

50 years old, great guy with beautiful family. TPW for Mark appreciated.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Sucksor Mark, best wishes.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Cal's appointment with the psych last Friday was after hours. When we walked into the building, I notice a bunch of boxes in a pile to be recycled. Boxes that had labels from my competitors with all of the information I need. I started tearing them off and explained to Cal what I was doing. He was impressed.

I have some interesting/crazy news.

Remember my buddy that got arrested for supposedly pointing a rifle at a cop. The case was thrown out. Great news. I've known him and his wife for over 20 years. They were both great at school and were as straight as good be. Bad news is GB is a teacher and lost his job until another hearing where he now has to prove his innocence. Something like that, doesn't sound right to me but I'm getting this second hand. So the case was thrown out because their was lack of evidence and this cop has a record of doing something crooked ####. How he is on the force, I don't know. He isn't even a cop around here, he's from back in the old hood. So after the hearing, GB's wife hears this cop tell a copy from around here "you need to find something, there's something you can find to charge this guy right?". She immediately reported it and now there is a #### storm of investigations into the local police department. The crazy thing is that these are the guys that were "investigating" my nephew's "death". I can't say much but the lead guy in his case is no longer on the force. Crazy.

Keep pressing them. That's the only way that you're going to get anywhere. Be the squeaky wheel.

[yoda]Oh, they are being pressed. They are.[/yoda]

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Don't have time to catch up on the thread, and apologies if it's full of good news while I'll be a downer again. Remember early this year how 1/3 of my employees had cancer? Well the worst of them was my friend Mark who had an aggressive leukemia. He was diagnosed in January and hasn't been back to work...chemo then stem cell transplant then more of everything. He was doing better after all that but after one week at home was admitted to the hospital again and is in ICU. Spots on his lungs and inability to keep oxygen saturation at an appropriate level. He's on a ventilator and I don't know the prognosis but it ain't great.

50 years old, great guy with beautiful family. TPW for Mark appreciated.

Sorry GB. :(

 

[Stoneys]

Don't have time to catch up on the thread, and apologies if it's full of good news while I'll be a downer again. Remember early this year how 1/3 of my employees had cancer? Well the worst of them was my friend Mark who had an aggressive leukemia. He was diagnosed in January and hasn't been back to work...chemo then stem cell transplant then more of everything. He was doing better after all that but after one week at home was admitted to the hospital again and is in ICU. Spots on his lungs and inability to keep oxygen saturation at an appropriate level. He's on a ventilator and I don't know the prognosis but it ain't great.

50 years old, great guy with beautiful family. TPW for Mark appreciated.

Sorry GB. :(

Yes, sorry tpw

 

[Good Posting Judge]

So a friend is hosting a bachelorette party this weekend for one of her friends that I don't know. They will be out bar hopping and have a party bus driving them around most of the night. My friend asked me to meet up with them right before the last hour (1-2a) with some pizzas to help make sure they aren't too drunk to keep things going.

Other than pretending to be a stripper, any shtick suggestions?

Cut hole in the bottom of the pizza box.

If you're not willing to use your own ****, you could buy a large, black apparatus and put it in the pizza box. That should be good for a laugh or two.

And then while all the gals are having a good yuk-yuk, you have sex with the bachelorette. Boom, 20+ likes on this post.

This is so brilliant it makes me hate you a little bit. You're lucky we're both A's fans right now.

It's also so brilliant that there's no way that Guster can't do it now.

 

[heckmanm]

Houston bar serves "Matt Schaub Burger"

 

[Guster]

Just starting to read the shift lead thread and it is fantastic so far

 

[Guster]

I have so couple days in session with a team next week, but today should be low key. I'm gonna keep teaching myself how to use adobe illustrator

 

[Hawks64]

Hey Thorn, congrats, just noticed.

Can you share with those of us not the FB friends with him?

He won the football pool.

I am sucking so bad in that I don't even pay attention to the standings anymore.

 

[Hawks64]

Don't have time to catch up on the thread, and apologies if it's full of good news while I'll be a downer again. Remember early this year how 1/3 of my employees had cancer? Well the worst of them was my friend Mark who had an aggressive leukemia. He was diagnosed in January and hasn't been back to work...chemo then stem cell transplant then more of everything. He was doing better after all that but after one week at home was admitted to the hospital again and is in ICU. Spots on his lungs and inability to keep oxygen saturation at an appropriate level. He's on a ventilator and I don't know the prognosis but it ain't great.

50 years old, great guy with beautiful family. TPW for Mark appreciated.

Sorry to hear K4 TPW for Mark and his family.

 

[krista4]

Just starting to read the shift lead thread and it is fantastic so far

OK, coincidentally I just saw that thread was several pages long so clicked on it. I got about 5-6 posts in and gave up. What is going on in that thread that makes it interesting?

 

[Annyong]

hey dickfaces.

 

[Thorn]

Hey Thorn, congrats, just noticed.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Hey Thorn, congrats, just noticed.

Can you share with those of us not the FB friends with him?

He won the football pool.

I am sucking so bad in that I don't even pay attention to the standings anymore.

Unfortunately I have to check. <_<

Hey Thorn, congrats, just noticed.

Your check is being sent to GM today!

 

[Thorn]

Your check is being sent to GM today!

Hey Thorn, congrats, just noticed.

Excellent, he can convert it to coupons and Gallium and forward along. I should get it before the Olympics.

 

[Hawks64]

Your check is being sent to GM today!

Hey Thorn, congrats, just noticed.

Excellent, he can convert it to coupons and Gallium and forward along. I should get it before the Olympics.

in 2020.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

I still owe Bogart beer from March Madness. :(

 

[Good Posting Judge]

Rather enjoyed finding Jhoe's Wacky World of NFL .gif's in my inbox just now.

13-5-popcorn-guy.gif

 

[FDAS]

Just starting to read the shift lead thread and it is fantastic so far

OK, coincidentally I just saw that thread was several pages long so clicked on it. I got about 5-6 posts in and gave up. What is going on in that thread that makes it interesting?

Remember Woz from 7 years ago? Imagine that, only replace girls and softball with a minimum wage job.

ETA: Woz is still a ####### idiot.

 

[Abraham]

Just starting to read the shift lead thread and it is fantastic so far

OK, coincidentally I just saw that thread was several pages long so clicked on it. I got about 5-6 posts in and gave up. What is going on in that thread that makes it interesting?

Remember Woz from 7 years ago? Imagine that, only replace girls and softball with a minimum wage job.

ETA: Woz is still a ####### idiot.

It is extremely wozian. And I like wiz.

 

[Leeroy Jenkins]

Rather enjoyed finding Jhoe's Wacky World of NFL .gif's in my inbox just now.

13-5-popcorn-guy.gif

I have deleted that email without reading every week so far. Today I opened it for some reason.

 

[Abraham]

Man, Thirty Seconds to mars is really not a good band. Talk about taking yourself too seriously.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Tanner, thoughts on a teacher that e-mails me and signs it Mrs. "teacher"? This gal is young enough to be my daughter.

How about the principal? I call him by his first name but think that might be a #### move.

I'll hang up and listen.

She actually signs it "Mrs. Teacher"?

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Don't have time to catch up on the thread, and apologies if it's full of good news while I'll be a downer again. Remember early this year how 1/3 of my employees had cancer? Well the worst of them was my friend Mark who had an aggressive leukemia. He was diagnosed in January and hasn't been back to work...chemo then stem cell transplant then more of everything. He was doing better after all that but after one week at home was admitted to the hospital again and is in ICU. Spots on his lungs and inability to keep oxygen saturation at an appropriate level. He's on a ventilator and I don't know the prognosis but it ain't great.

50 years old, great guy with beautiful family. TPW for Mark appreciated.

Damn.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Anything worse than your kid having to try to shill crap door to door for a school fundraiser?

Yes: hitting up your coworkers to buy crap your kid is selling for a school fundraiser. Seriously. Send that little ####er door-to-door and get him accustomed to the hustle.

I've got one for you guys.

An old friend of mine is trying to fund raise for his new business. He wants to open a cajun catering truck.

The guy is actually an amazing chef but one of the most unreliable, tempermental people I know. I stopped keeping track of how many jobs he's had about 20 jobs ago. He's 44 but still has not figured out that having a job means doing what other people tell you to do. His biggest problem is that he's pretty damn smart and he just can't understand why he might have to take orders for someone who isn't as smart as he is. On top of that he's never ran his own business before.

His catering truck idea isn't a bad one but I'd rather just give the guy $13 and tell him to spend it on beer. If he actually gets this thing going I'd give even money it won't last 6 months.

ETA: I don't eat Cajun food.

 

[kevzilla]

The shift lead thread is awesome. Totally going to adopt the Random Capitalization Shtick.

 

[Leeroy Jenkins]

Tanner, thoughts on a teacher that e-mails me and signs it Mrs. "teacher"? This gal is young enough to be my daughter.

How about the principal? I call him by his first name but think that might be a #### move.

I'll hang up and listen.

She actually signs it "Mrs. Teacher"?

Like Mr. Manager.

 

[-fish-]

Oh, I forgot when I #####ed about my daughter having to sell stupid crap for her school. It's private school (yes, look at me). We already pay tuition, have to kick in extra for field trips and other events, and they have a pretty high-pressure auction every year.

Why the hell is my daughter walking around in the rain trying to sell cookies and wrapping paper?

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Oh, I forgot when I #####ed about my daughter having to sell stupid crap for her school. It's private school (yes, look at me). We already pay tuition, have to kick in extra for field trips and other events, and they have a pretty high-pressure auction every year.

Why the hell is my daughter walking around in the rain trying to sell cookies and wrapping paper?

It's what Jesus would have wanted?