GM's thread about nothing (32 Viewers)

[Mr.Pack]

Serious question: if you're asked to speak at someone's funeral, you pretty much have no choice but to say yes, right?

Unless it is your own.

I got it. I was asked to keep it light and tell funny stories about Mark. He was one of the funniest people I've known but I'm struggling to figure out how to relay it best. I'll figure it out.

Good lcuk Krista, I know it can't be easy.

My condolences on your loss.

:(

 

[Abraham]

The ice cream man just came by and I heard the boys go all crazy digging through their banks. I was going to get something but thought better of it. Then Cal comes back inside and handed me an ice cream sandwich. I was seriously touched and thanked him for being so kind and generous. He replied "anything for my daddy". Really needed that after the last couple of days.

How long until you realize he and his brother had no money and distracted you long enough to get in your wallet and buy the three of you ice cream with your money?

They have been taught that we all trust each other in this house and stealing from me is bad for one's health.

Fair enough. I just hope my kids know that if they steal from me, they can earn forgiveness by bringing me ice cream.

They earn money doing chores, no need to steal.

I was joking. For a guy who had beers and the sex this weekend you sure are uptight.

 

[Abraham]

Serious question: if you're asked to speak at someone's funeral, you pretty much have no choice but to say yes, right?

Unless it is your own.

I got it. I was asked to keep it light and tell funny stories about Mark. He was one of the funniest people I've known but I'm struggling to figure out how to relay it best. I'll figure it out.

If I may...

You aren't telling anyone anything they don't know. No one in the audience is going to be shocked to learn he was funny. They all know. Your job then is probably to help them remember that a little more vividly, if only for a moment.

I went to a funeral once that had about 1200 people including some "important" Texas people. The man was a lawyer and Austin socialite guy who had been my dad's FBI partner once upon a time. His brother in law stood up and told the most embarrassing and hilarious story about Larry, always known as a funny guy. If he's been there he would have turned red with shame. But since everyone there had known him they all knew that it was a great story for who he was and why we all loved him. whole place roared with laughter.

Tell a fond memory of something funny he did or said once. Everyone will remember something funny he did with them once. Things will feel peaceful for a moment and people will be glad for the fond memory.

 

[charvik]

I'm with Ignoramus on the fish snobbery.

 

[krista4]

Serious question: if you're asked to speak at someone's funeral, you pretty much have no choice but to say yes, right?

Unless it is your own.

I got it. I was asked to keep it light and tell funny stories about Mark. He was one of the funniest people I've known but I'm struggling to figure out how to relay it best. I'll figure it out.

If I may...

You aren't telling anyone anything they don't know. No one in the audience is going to be shocked to learn he was funny. They all know. Your job then is probably to help them remember that a little more vividly, if only for a moment.

I went to a funeral once that had about 1200 people including some "important" Texas people. The man was a lawyer and Austin socialite guy who had been my dad's FBI partner once upon a time. His brother in law stood up and told the most embarrassing and hilarious story about Larry, always known as a funny guy. If he's been there he would have turned red with shame. But since everyone there had known him they all knew that it was a great story for who he was and why we all loved him. whole place roared with laughter.

Tell a fond memory of something funny he did or said once. Everyone will remember something funny he did with them once. Things will feel peaceful for a moment and people will be glad for the fond memory.

Thanks. You're right that if I just go with what he did best everyone will relate to the story. It'll be OK. I just hate speaking in front of people and also tend to turn into a puddle at emotional, or even non-emotional, moments. Chin up.

 

[Tiger Fan]

Overheard this morning, "I've had everything on their menu"

I'm not sure if there is a restaurant in existence where I've had everything on their menu - even places I love that I've spent a lot of time at. Is this a thing? Have you ever eaten every single on a restaurant's menu?

Yes, but I worked at both. And what I found was the best items were the obscure ones that didn't get ordered often. You would think that the best item would be the one the kitchen makes often because repetition means they do it right each time. My experience was that the cooks liked it when someone ordered something they might cook only once or twice per shift so they paid more attention to making it right for some reason. For example, when I worked at Joe's Crab Shack 90% of what was sold was either fried food or crab. But we had redfish, mahi mahi, and tuna steaks too that were better than all the fried stuff. Ordering a blackened redfish when the guy has just spent 4 hours frying catfish and french fries usually led to an excellent meal..

"Joe's Crab Shack" and "excellent meal" don't belong in the same sentence unless there's a "no ####### way possible to get a" in between. I'd be hard-pressed to choose between them and Red Lobster for the "####tiest seafood on the planet" award.To be fair however, having family in the business, I'm a seafood snob.

 

[Abraham]

Serious question: if you're asked to speak at someone's funeral, you pretty much have no choice but to say yes, right?

Unless it is your own.

I got it. I was asked to keep it light and tell funny stories about Mark. He was one of the funniest people I've known but I'm struggling to figure out how to relay it best. I'll figure it out.

If I may...You aren't telling anyone anything they don't know. No one in the audience is going to be shocked to learn he was funny. They all know. Your job then is probably to help them remember that a little more vividly, if only for a moment.

I went to a funeral once that had about 1200 people including some "important" Texas people. The man was a lawyer and Austin socialite guy who had been my dad's FBI partner once upon a time. His brother in law stood up and told the most embarrassing and hilarious story about Larry, always known as a funny guy. If he's been there he would have turned red with shame. But since everyone there had known him they all knew that it was a great story for who he was and why we all loved him. whole place roared with laughter.

Tell a fond memory of something funny he did or said once. Everyone will remember something funny he did with them once. Things will feel peaceful for a moment and people will be glad for the fond memory.

Thanks. You're right that if I just go with what he did best everyone will relate to the story. It'll be OK. I just hate speaking in front of people and also tend to turn into a puddle at emotional, or even non-emotional, moments. Chin up.

"Hi, my name is Krista and I had the pleasure of working with mark for x years at y company. Like many of you I've tried to make sense of his passing and wondered what I should say, what anyone could say, that would make our grief turn in to peace. And like many of you I've felt defeated in that search. The unfortunate part of a life well lived and the celebration of that life - which has brought us here - usually ends with more tears and a feeling that we are not any closer to the comfort we seek in this painful time. But I do know that time heals all wounds. I also know that it isn't just time that heals us but also the fond memories we share of Mark that will eventually turn our sorrow in to a deep appreciation for the gift we received of Having had mark in our lives. I know when I remember mark I won't remember this day or the weeks leading up to it but rather the time he (funny snippet) and the time he (another funny snippet). Even better, we all have our own individual memories of his jokes and smile and compassion that aren't shared but rather are unique to us individually. And each of those memories add up to a mosaic of a man that loved his family and loved his friends and whose lasting memory for each of us won't be of sadness but of great joy and laughter as we remember how amazing mark was and how blessed we were to call him son, father, husband, and friend."

 

[Tiger Fan]

damn, that's pretty good abe

 

[Hawks64]

damn, that's pretty good abe

 

[kevzilla]

Abe talks prettier than a two-dollar whore

 

[General Malaise]

Smart people:

A customer of ours who has a high opinion of me came in with a guy he met on a ride a few weeks ago. The guy and I had a good conversation - he seemed more interested in me than most people who come in (who seem absolutely not interested in anything but the reason they came in, which is perfectly normal.) In conversation, he mentioned that he was new to the area, just moved from the UK. I asked him if it was for work, then where he worked, and then what he did. Turns out he's just taken the position of president at a pretty large sporting goods company.

He asked if I'd been to their facility, to which I said no, and then he told me if I'd like he'd love to give me a tour. I thanked him, told him I'd very much like that, and he said to get back in touch with him after the first week in October, because he was traveling internationally until then.

Well, it's the first week of October. I would like to work for him in some capacity. Big, strong company, about two miles from my house, would be a great place to work. I feel like he's heard good things about me and is interested, but there hasn't been any resume talk. How should I approach this? I've got his email and his cell phone number. I'm not sure what the right approach is.

TIA

Obvious follow up is the tour of the facility. No offense, but that offer is probably pretty low on his list of priorities, so he'd likely appreciate an interested reminder.

During the tour (or maybe a day or two later, depending on how you read things on the spot), if you like what you see of him and the company, ask him about job opportunities there. This is the most "organic" and comfortable way of getting there.

Absolutely. Fully expecting to have to do the follow up for 100% of this. He came up through sales, he'll appreciate someone who is proactive.

My main question here, which I probably should have clarified, is when to give the resume and have the "hey I'd like to work for you" talk. Thanks for your feedback.

Also, how do I dress for this? I don't want to show up in jeans and a t-shirt - if it were an interview I'd wear a suit and tie, but that could be awkward.

What position are you aiming for in his company? Also, what were you wearing when you met him?

Dress, as the saying goes, for the position you want, though a suit and tie for a warehouse tour might be too much.

There aren't any current job openings that I fit, which is a problem. Which is probably one more reason to take it slow and keep tabs on them.

What's this based on? What you're seeing on their website?

I'm going to take a shot in the dark and say he doesn't just wander around offering tours to random people. He's interested. Be appropriately patient. Do whatever research you need to do on the company to be able to speak intelligently about it and ask questions about recent activities in the marketplace, etc. Take the tour in black pants and a polo or tieless dress shirt, listen to what he has to say, be inquisitive, and let him tell you why he invited you there. Don't be pushy. But at the same time, if there's a natural "in" to let him know you'd love to work for a company like his, then drop it. No need to take a resume. That'll come later, if at all. Though maybe leaving a copy in your car JUST IN CASE wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.

As far as job availability, he's going to know what he really has available a little better than you. Many of the jobs you'd want at many companies never see a website posting.

awesome post, gb. Love the last line the most.

 

[Guster]

Serious question: if you're asked to speak at someone's funeral, you pretty much have no choice but to say yes, right?

Unless it is your own.

I got it. I was asked to keep it light and tell funny stories about Mark. He was one of the funniest people I've known but I'm struggling to figure out how to relay it best. I'll figure it out.

If I may...You aren't telling anyone anything they don't know. No one in the audience is going to be shocked to learn he was funny. They all know. Your job then is probably to help them remember that a little more vividly, if only for a moment.

I went to a funeral once that had about 1200 people including some "important" Texas people. The man was a lawyer and Austin socialite guy who had been my dad's FBI partner once upon a time. His brother in law stood up and told the most embarrassing and hilarious story about Larry, always known as a funny guy. If he's been there he would have turned red with shame. But since everyone there had known him they all knew that it was a great story for who he was and why we all loved him. whole place roared with laughter.

Tell a fond memory of something funny he did or said once. Everyone will remember something funny he did with them once. Things will feel peaceful for a moment and people will be glad for the fond memory.

Thanks. You're right that if I just go with what he did best everyone will relate to the story. It'll be OK. I just hate speaking in front of people and also tend to turn into a puddle at emotional, or even non-emotional, moments. Chin up.

"Hi, my name is Krista and I had the pleasure of working with mark for x years at y company. Like many of you I've tried to make sense of his passing and wondered what I should say, what anyone could say, that would make our grief turn in to peace. And like many of you I've felt defeated in that search. The unfortunate part of a life well lived and the celebration of that life - which has brought us here - usually ends with more tears and a feeling that we are not any closer to the comfort we seek in this painful time. But I do know that time heals all wounds. I also know that it isn't just time that heals us but also the fond memories we share of Mark that will eventually turn our sorrow in to a deep appreciation for the gift we received of Having had mark in our lives. I know when I remember mark I won't remember this day or the weeks leading up to it but rather the time he (funny snippet) and the time he (another funny snippet). Even better, we all have our own individual memories of his jokes and smile and compassion that aren't shared but rather are unique to us individually. And each of those memories add up to a mosaic of a man that loved his family and loved his friends and whose lasting memory for each of us won't be of sadness but of great joy and laughter as we remember how amazing mark was and how blessed we were to call him son, father, husband, and friend."

Abe, if you die before me, I'm totally using this at your funeral. Thanks GB

 

[Abraham]

If I've said it once I've said it a million times: if the people in this thread can't help each other write eulogies for people we've never met after a #### punch from life then we should all settle up and go out separate ways.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

I found it wildly presumptuous, but it's playing well.

 

[bostonfred]

fish snobbery.

I don't know why that was underlined. Not a link. Sorry.

u is for euphemism.

 

[Leeroy Jenkins]

So my Muay Thai trainer generally gets paid in cash. Today he said he experienced a first. Somebody paid him $100 in $2 bills. He showed me the stack of 50 bills. How does somebody even come into possession of that many $2 bills? What profession or circumstances does that happen in? How many other $2 bills does this guy have if he just nonchalantly can pay $100 with them? They're like a novelty a grandfather puts in a birthday card. I'm intrigued.

 

[Guster]

So my Muay Thai trainer generally gets paid in cash. Today he said he experienced a first. Somebody paid him $100 in $2 bills. He showed me the stack of 50 bills. How does somebody even come into possession of that many $2 bills? What profession or circumstances does that happen in? How many other $2 bills does this guy have if he just nonchalantly can pay $100 with them? They're like a novelty a grandfather puts in a birthday card. I'm intrigued.

Some gentlemen's clubs give them out

 

[Frostillicus]

Book tickets today to Fort Myers in March. Holla.

 

[Steed]

So my Muay Thai trainer generally gets paid in cash. Today he said he experienced a first. Somebody paid him $100 in $2 bills. He showed me the stack of 50 bills. How does somebody even come into possession of that many $2 bills? What profession or circumstances does that happen in? How many other $2 bills does this guy have if he just nonchalantly can pay $100 with them? They're like a novelty a grandfather puts in a birthday card. I'm intrigued.

You can request almost any bank to get you a bulk amount, like quantities of 50, 100, etc.

they're great for two things:

1. Tipping - waiters/strippers/baristas usually remember you because of them

2. Pis$ing off toll collectors-typically they already have change for a dollar at the ready, the $2 jams them up if only for a second

 

[Ignoramus]

Serious question: if you're asked to speak at someone's funeral, you pretty much have no choice but to say yes, right?

Unless it is your own.

I got it. I was asked to keep it light and tell funny stories about Mark. He was one of the funniest people I've known but I'm struggling to figure out how to relay it best. I'll figure it out.

If I may...You aren't telling anyone anything they don't know. No one in the audience is going to be shocked to learn he was funny. They all know. Your job then is probably to help them remember that a little more vividly, if only for a moment.

I went to a funeral once that had about 1200 people including some "important" Texas people. The man was a lawyer and Austin socialite guy who had been my dad's FBI partner once upon a time. His brother in law stood up and told the most embarrassing and hilarious story about Larry, always known as a funny guy. If he's been there he would have turned red with shame. But since everyone there had known him they all knew that it was a great story for who he was and why we all loved him. whole place roared with laughter.

Tell a fond memory of something funny he did or said once. Everyone will remember something funny he did with them once. Things will feel peaceful for a moment and people will be glad for the fond memory.

Thanks. You're right that if I just go with what he did best everyone will relate to the story. It'll be OK. I just hate speaking in front of people and also tend to turn into a puddle at emotional, or even non-emotional, moments. Chin up.

"Hi, my name is Krista and I had the pleasure of working with mark for x years at y company. Like many of you I've tried to make sense of his passing and wondered what I should say, what anyone could say, that would make our grief turn in to peace. And like many of you I've felt defeated in that search. The unfortunate part of a life well lived and the celebration of that life - which has brought us here - usually ends with more tears and a feeling that we are not any closer to the comfort we seek in this painful time. But I do know that time heals all wounds. I also know that it isn't just time that heals us but also the fond memories we share of Mark that will eventually turn our sorrow in to a deep appreciation for the gift we received of Having had mark in our lives. I know when I remember mark I won't remember this day or the weeks leading up to it but rather the time he (funny snippet) and the time he (another funny snippet). Even better, we all have our own individual memories of his jokes and smile and compassion that aren't shared but rather are unique to us individually. And each of those memories add up to a mosaic of a man that loved his family and loved his friends and whose lasting memory for each of us won't be of sadness but of great joy and laughter as we remember how amazing mark was and how blessed we were to call him son, father, husband, and friend."

What's that from, Wrath of Khan?

 

[Abraham]

David Wilson.

 

[bentley]

Well done Abe. I think the single most important piece of advice to remember is that it isn't about you. Let everyone know what made Mark special to you and move on. That thought should also help you in preparation. It isn't about your fears or emotion but about honoring Mark in the best way that you can.

 

[shuke]

switched from STL to ATL in both survivors. So stupid

What's stupid that I was going to pick different teams in my different leagues, but I figured I'd hold off until the two gimmees of ATL this week and DEN next.

 

[shuke]

Add me to the list heart broken for BB. I don't post much anymore but this news makes me sick. GM thread guys > hi

Stick around, buddy.

 

[shuke]

Overheard this morning, "I've had everything on their menu"

I'm not sure if there is a restaurant in existence where I've had everything on their menu - even places I love that I've spent a lot of time at. Is this a thing? Have you ever eaten every single on a restaurant's menu?

Ponderosa when I worked there.

 

[Good Posting Judge]

And here I was going to open with "I just flew in from Nicaragua..."

 

[shuke]

They don't take them out of the water one at a time, Abe

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Some guy with my same exact first and last name just viewed me on LinkedIn. Kinda creepy.

 

[Good Posting Judge]

Some guy with my same exact first and last name just viewed me on LinkedIn. Kinda creepy.

I was friends with a dude who had the same first/last as me on FB. Seemed nice enough. He was a h0m0 going to college in FL.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Some guy with my same exact first and last name just viewed me on LinkedIn. Kinda creepy.

Some guy with FBG cred bowed down in word games but claimed I cheated.

You're a fraud, Aaron.

This is much creepier, though.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Some guy with my same exact first and last name just viewed me on LinkedIn. Kinda creepy.

Some guy with FBG cred bowed down in word games but claimed I cheated.

You're a fraud, Aaron.

This is much creepier, though.

Not even close. You're a bad person.

Beej?

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Some guy with my same exact first and last name just viewed me on LinkedIn. Kinda creepy.

Some guy with FBG cred bowed down in word games but claimed I cheated.

You're a fraud, Aaron.

This is much creepier, though.

Not even close. You're a bad person.

Beej?

Everyone knows who I am. You don't need to try sarcasm.

I'm accepted for who I am...and I'm disregarded by those that don't care to interact with me.

Your "bullying" of others is amusing to me. I kicked your butt in word games and you cried. Now that your true colours have come out, I laugh.

I embarrassed you and you can't stand it.

Would you like a hug. I'm kind of a hugger.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

But I really like playing word games.

 

[UniAlias]

Nothing like a late night iFight over word games.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

I also enjoy eating.

 

[Good Posting Judge]

Words With Friends will be the end of us.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Meow

 

[Leeroy Jenkins]

Interesting.

 

[Gadzooks]

Nothing like a late night iFight over word games.

Congrats to Truck for not being involved in this ifight.

 

[Gadzooks]

For the record, I beat Pickles at WWF.....once. He's now on a 67 game winning streak against but I feel like I'm wearing him down.

 

[Abraham]

Nothing like a late night iFight over word games.

Congrats to Truck for not being involved in this ifight.

He's going to be disappointed.

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

HONKS

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Canadian conversion rate gives an unfair advantage in Wwf.

 

[T Bell]

Canadian conversion rate gives an unfair advantage in Wwf.

"Eh" is not a word.

 

[strykerpks]

Canadian conversion rate gives an unfair advantage in Wwf.

"Eh" is not a word.

I think it's the extra "U" in words like "colour"

 

[guru_007]

Canadian conversion rate gives an unfair advantage in Wwf.

"Eh" is not a word.

5 points U.S.

6 points Canadian

 

[Homer J Simpson]

F'n Canadians.

 

[Idiot Boxer]

WWF is soooooo 2011. Letterpress anyone?

 

[Tiger Fan]

switched from STL to ATL in both survivors. So stupid

What's stupid that I was going to pick different teams in my different leagues, but I figured I'd hold off until the two gimmees of ATL this week and DEN next.

did the exact same thing. Plus I never pick prime time games. It's like I just ignored everything

 

[Tiger Fan]

And here I was going to open with "I just flew in from Nicaragua..."

HFS